Chapter 11. Bedtime story

After a long crying I fell into a deep sleep. In my dream I was on the outskirts of Forks. The smell of the rain was in the air. The green light was almost real. I was in the forest, looking around, searching for something.

No, not like that. I was searching for him, knowing that there was no chance to find anyone in the woods. My steps were fast, I was almost running. A deep green wall surrounded me. There was to chance to go back. I went deep into the forest, doomed to catch only a shadow…

I woke up suddenly. The first light colored the room with green. It was an early morning. I felt tired. The sleep didn't help me at all. I was lying sleepless, watching the light to grow. My last conversation with Edward seemed to be weird, almost unreal. I wasn't quite sure it really happened. What if it was just another bad dream?

There were accurate steps heard from the corridor. I turned my head and noticed a white coat. Carlisle. The idea flashed into my mind, reviving me again. Edward was real. And our conversation was real. I turned him away. I would never find him in the deep of the woods...

Carlisle noticed me and smiled gently.

'Hey, Bella', he said quietly. His motions were accurate, slow, but very confident. He was the real professional.

'Hi, Carlisle'.

The doctor came closer and looked at the monitor, checking something.

When we first met, Carlisle looked like an adult to me. He was young, but his behavior made me believe in his age. Seven years later the situation has changed. Carlisle was almost my peer now, physically, at least.

'You're supposed to sleep', Carlisle noticed. 'You need to get some rest if you want to recover.'

'I did', I answered. 'But I woke up.'

Carlisle was examining the documents now.

'Try again', he suggested. His voice was melodic and soft, and it comforted me. I was ready to trust him. 'I can give you a soporific if you wish'.

'No', I answered quickly. It was good not to think about anything, but the haze in my head influenced bad on me. I didn't like it.

My answer was too fast. Carlisle laughed.

'Okay. Your condition is quite good, considering the level of your injuries.'

I remembered that Carlisle was among those doctors who had saved my life.

'Thanks for your help'.

The doctor smiled again.

'You're welcome. Now try to sleep. I'll leave the room very soon'.

He was kind and charming, but Carlisle avoided looking me in my eyes. He concentrated on his work, but I realized there was something wrong. Of course.

'Carlisle?' I asked when the doctor was going to leave.

'Yes, Bella?'

Carlisle looked up, and I've noticed that his youth was false. His eyes were full of kindness, wisdom and patience, enough for a few long lives. I felt awkward. My heart started pounding.

'Have you heard about…Edward's visit already?' I asked accurately.

Carlisle laughed again, bitterly this time.

'Yes. The news is spreading very fast'.

I felt guilty. Now, when the anger had gone, my behavior looked stupid. I didn't feel sorry for all what I've said, but I felt uncomfortable now, in front of Carlisle. He was so nice, so kind to be – and I disappointed him too. I sighed.

I was going to say something about that, but Carlisle interrupted me.

'Don't worry, Bella. I'll try not to disturb you again.'

His answer was short, but meant much more than it looked like. I felt worse.

'Wait! You can stay here… It's okay,' I said. My heart began beating faster. Too fast. Carlisle frowned and stared at me, worried. The fast change in my condition didn't sound good to him.

Carlisle returned and held my hand, trying to comfort me.

'You shouldn't worry, Bella. It's not good for you'.

His hand was ice-cold, but it didn't matter. Carlisle gave me support that I needed.

'Do you thing I'm a bad person?' I asked.

Carlisle shook his head.

'I don't think so. You had intelligible reasons to behave towards Edward in that manner.'

'It was awful... I said a lot of horrible things. All these strong emotions… they confuse me'.

'It's a normal reaction to stress. Moreover, you've got a concussion. Many patients suffer from the depression when they recover after the accident. Your inability to deal with emotions is quite predictable.'

Carlisle was silent for a while.

'And, I'm afraid, Edward deserved to get the cold shoulder. He should have expected something like that. I'm sorry if we has disappointed you'.

I didn't feel better. I needed to change the subject, to speak about something else, but I couldn't remember any topic of conversation. At last I decided to speak about my condition again.

'Did I look very bad when you met me here?'

'The situation was… complicated', he answered. Carlisle's eyes were blurred. 'But you managed to hear my voice. I considered it to be a good sign'.

'Did I hear you?' I asked, surprised. I didn't remember that.

I haven't noticed when I started shaking from cold. Carlisle was faster. He stopped holding my hand.

'Yes', he confirmed. 'I'm not surprised about that. The moment was critical'.

'How could you know that it was a good sign?' it was hard to understand what he meant.

Carlisle smiled.

'Because I've seen it already'.

'When?'

'When I met Esme again.'

'Again?' I was puzzled now. 'Did you know Esme before… before changing her?'

'You didn't know?' Carlisle frowned. He was surprised. 'I thought Edward had told you everything about us'.

I twitched when Carlisle mentioned his name, but tried to look normal. I needed to pretend being normal again.

'Tell me'.

'Do you want to hear a bedtime story?' he joked.

I shrugged and felt pain immediately. I shouldn't have moved. When would I remember that?

'We have plenty of time', I reminded him. 'I'm ready to listen'.

It was nice to speak with Carlisle like that. I almost forgot how to have an ordinary conversation.

Carlisle looked out of the window, examining the morning sky.

'Okay' he sat on the edge of my bed, 'I think we have some time. It was in 1911, seven years before I found Edward. I settled in Ohio, working at the hospital and replacing the local doctor time after time…'


'I'm sorry for disturbing you at such a late hour. We've tried to find our family doctor, but he is out of town…' explained a middle-aged woman in a blue dress, her eyes full of tears.

She constantly glanced at her husband, a tall man with grey hair. The man ignored his wife: instead of this he was staring at his young daughter. The girl avoided his stare, trying to shut herself off from her parent.

'It's okay. I'll be glad to replace your doctor today. Everything will be fine', promised Carlisle. These words sounded usual. He repeated them almost everyday, but, according to the doctor's observations, the words always calmed humans down.

It worked on his young patient, definitely. The girl with caramel hair and heart-shaped face looked up and smiled.

She was a teenager. Not a child, but not an adult yet, the girl didn't belong to any world completely. Just like him, although she would have much better future…

The girl's features were mild and pleasant. Carlisle was surprised to notice that. Her parents didn't have it at all. They must have lost their kindness already. Life changed these people a lot.

Carlisle smiled back. The girl blushed. Of course. He dazzled her.

'Well, I' m not sure about that…' her father said, frowning. His voice was full of disapproval. 'Who knows how serious your trauma is…'

The girl stared at father. Her face lost its color. She sighed and looked down again.

Carlisle felt he needed to do something.

'Can you leave the room, please?' he asked in a serious tone. 'I need to examine the patient.'

The man frowned again.

'Let's go outside, darling', the wife seized his sleeve. 'We shouldn't stay here'.

The couple exchanged looks. Finally, the man nodded.

Carlisle listened to their steps, waiting for them to leave.

'Thank you', the girl whispered. 'My father is not very tactful'.

'You're welcome', he answered politely. 'He just worries about you. Take it easy. Let's better speak about your trauma. Tell me, what happened to you, young lady?'

'Esme', the girl corrected. She wrinkled her nose. Carlisle almost laughed, noticing that. The girl didn't like to be compared to the lady.

'I fell down from a tree.'

'Esme', he repeated. ' And I'm Dr. Carlisle Cullen…' he introduced himself.

The girl blushed. The doctor took her seriously; he spoke with her as if she was an adult.

Carlisle was examining the leg, trying not to scare the girl. His touch was too cold.

'Are you an Irishman?'

Carlisle looked at the girl, surprised. She was smiling. Interesting. Usually people avoided speaking with the doctor. They felt something wrong although they couldn't explain why. The doctor was so nice, so polite, so attractive… but the instinct made humans stay away.

But that girl was unusual. Carlisle listened to her heart. She was calm.

'Your surname has an Irish origin, right?' she asked. Esme was much more clever than he had expected.

'Gaelic, to be precise', the doctor answered automatically. 'But this surname is still known in Ireland. You're quite correct.'

'May be, it's just a sprain?' Esme asked hopefully.

He shook his head.

'No. It's a fracture. You broke your leg'.

The girl moaned.

'My father will kill me', she complained.

'I'm sure your father isn't angry with you anymore.'

'I like to play with kids, but Dad doesn't approve it,' the girl blurted out. She felt she could trust the doctor. 'He thinks my behavior is inappropriate for the real lady!'

Carlisle chuckled.

'Your injury is not so bad. You've got a closed single fracture. I fixed your leg', he described. 'You need to be accurate. I'll give you a medicine that'll help to control the pain. Don't worry. You're young. The healing is going to be fast'.

The girl nodded, frowning. The mildness faded from her face, making Esme resemble her tired mother. Carlisle didn't like that. Her simplicity was so catchy.

'But as I see it, you have some time not to behave like a lady,' he said honestly.

She still had time.

Esme's face softened. This doctor was different, much better than their local physician. It was so nice to stay in his presence. Dr. Cullen was so attentive. What a gentlemen! A sudden idea came to Esme's mind. Perhaps, it was worthy to behave like a lady if she could meet someone like him one day. Dr. Carlisle Cullen


'We've met again ten years later, in 1921. Edward and I lived in Ashland, were I worked as a doctor at the local hospital. I always worked at night. No one had anything against it', Carlisle continued.

'It was an early morning. My shift was over. I preferred to leave the hospital through the door which leaded to the morgue. I wasn't afraid to choose that path', he laughed. 'I'm a demon. Nothing can scare me'.

'Usually it was silent there. Dead people are not very talkative, you know. But I heard something strange that time…'

Carlisle kept silent for a while. My heat was pounding again.

'I managed to catch a heartbeat, very quiet, but still very strong. I was shocked. I couldn't believe it was possible, but I decided to examine the bodies, just in case. And then I saw her...'

'Did you recognize Esme after all these years?' I asked, surprised.

Carlisle nodded.

'Yes. I still remembered that funny girl and recognized her immediately. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw her', his voice changed. I've noticed the color of pain in Carlisle's tone. 'Esme was badly injured. Her spine was broken. Her condition was so bad that the doctors considered her dead. They didn't try to save Esme. Her heartbeat was noticeable for me only.'

'But I could hear it. I could her heart, could see the remains of life on her face. What has happened to that lovely girl? I wished she could live a happy life. Instead of this I noticed bruises and scars, not only new, but the old ones too. Something horrible happened in Esme's life. It was domestic violence, as I found out later.'

I shivered. Poor Esme.

'I couldn't understand why life could be so cruel', Carlisle voice was bitter now. 'I stepped closer and called her name. I course, I still remembered it. To my surprise, Esme heard me. She was dying, suffering from horrible pain, but when she looked at me I found something special inside of her brown eyes…'

Brown eyes?

'I realized that Esme had recognized me too. I felt relieved. Perhaps, I should have guessed that I was falling in love', he said, laughing. 'But I had never been in love before. I wasn't going to let Esme suffer. I couldn't let her die. Her eyes hid something that I wanted to reach… I stole Esme from the morgue, and brought her home'.

'At first Esme thought she was dying; she thought I was an angel who was going to take her to heaven', Carlisle laughed again. 'I'm not sure about that part, but she has started a new life since then. No one will hurt her anymore'.

'I'm glad that you found each other', I said honestly.

'Thank you. I still can't believe that it's true', Carlisle was honest too. His face was shining in the bright light. Carlisle looked so happy. It was easy to believe in his joy.

'Is she here?' I asked. Edward mentioned something about the conversation with his family, but I didn't remember that part well.

'Yes. Esme will stay in Seattle while the future is clear'.

I recalled Alice's face immediately. Of course. My fight with Edward showed her a new future…

'Are you going to leave?' I asked. I couldn't but admit that I still worried about the Cullens. 'It'll be strange if you disappear without any explanation'.

Carlisle's face turned into a polite mask. He had his own opinion about that, but let me make a choice.

'Don't worry about us. We can leave, if you want.'

I glanced at Carlisle again, hesitating. My answer was conclusive.

Did I want the Cullens to leave? I suddenly imagined Charlie's face when he would found out about Carlisle's departure. It would disappoint him. Moreover, Dr. Cullen has never hurt me. Carlisle protected me, cared about me, he saved my life…

I sighed. I had a choice, but... I had no choice. My hands were tied.

'Don't leave,' I said after a pause. 'Charlie likes you. You're the only doctor he trusts'.

Carlisle laughed again. Did I notice relief in his laugh? I've got a sudden idea that the whole conversation could be planned. What is someone predicted the necessary variant of the future?

'I like Charlie too', the doctor admitted. 'He's an excellent father'.

'I think so too', I smiled for the first time. Carlisle was so nice. It was impossible to resist his charm.

Carlisle got up.

'You need to get rest now. Try to sleep. Doctor's orders!'

I nodded. The conversation was long. I felt tired.

'Send my love to Esme', I mumbled.

'I will'.

Carlisle was going to leave the room when he recalled something else.

'Bella? I must warn you about something'.

'About what?' I asked, puzzled. What have I missed?

'If we stay here, I won't be able to save you from Alice,' Carlisle explained.

I groaned. I forgot about that!

'Probably, I need to think about your staying in Seattle again'.

Carlisle laughed.

'She loves you', he added, his tone serious now. 'Go to sleep, Bella. You'll need your strength'.

Carlisle left the room, letting me think about Alice.