Chapter 18. Fate

Tanya's visit gave its advantages; my family members stopped focusing their attention on me. They were talking and thinking only about Alice's visions now. When I returned home, Tanya was already gone, but eagerness and anxiety still lived in the house. I noticed low whispers and melodic voices that were heard from the living room.

Esme seemed to be the only person who had noticed my steps. She smiled, greeting me, and returned to the conversation.

"Are you sure you can't recognize any of those cities?" asked Jasper when Alice came home and joined us.

My sister was rubbing her temples as if she had a headache.

"Yes, the images were short and dark but I couldn't identify them."

Carlisle looked at me, asking for my opinion. I shook my head. I could see Alice's visions, but I was incapable of recognizing those cities too.

"So… Do you think Tanya is going somewhere we have never been?" Emmet asked. Uncertainty was killing him. It could be funny, perhaps, but it could be dangerous too. Emmet knew that perfectly.

"Not exactly," Dad's voice sounded soft, but strong. "Cities are changing their faces so quickly. When we came here for the first time, Forks hadn't existed yet. We probably know these places, but we can't recognize them now."

Emmet smiled. I knew what he was thinking about. Emmet had recalled our first meeting with the Quileute tribe. The place was unpopulated at that time, except for a little piece of land full of weird ancient monsters…

I shook my head, having no desire to think about werewolves. They had turned into legends, just like us. We hadn't seen shapeshifters for a very long time.

"What if it's just a coincidence?" asked Rose. "What if Alice's phone call created the future that she had seen?"

She didn't like Tanya's news. It made Rosalie worry about our future that became uncertain again. It was easier for her to return to our old life. Normal, she thought. Alice shook her head.

"It's not working, Rose. Before Tanya left, I asked her to think about her plans and her future. If you were right, pictures would stop showing, but they didn't. I kept watching the visions even when Tanya changed her plans and started to think about something else. It's inevitable. It looks like… fate or something like that."

Jasper frowned. In contrast to Emmet, who liked adventures, Jasper had seen enough of them. But uncertainty frightened him to death. He trusted Alice's visions too much.

"Well, we saw it once," Esme said, giving me a mild smile.

I looked into her thoughts. She was thinking about Bella and me. Esme thought of the conversation we had while discussing Bella's fate years ago. Esme recalled my hesitation and my attempts to change the future. Nothing worked at that time. I tried to leave Bella, and… I couldn't. Our connection was weird, but strong. We were like magnets, doomed to be attracted. But could it work with Tanya? It was hard to imagine that.

"Not sure that it can happen to Tanya," I answered one of Esme's questions. "She hasn't met anyone in centuries…"

"Well, you have been waiting for Bella for hundred of years," said Esme. "Love doesn't count time, Edward."

"Do you think that Tanya will fall in love?" asked Rose, without hiding her shock.

Jasper looked at Alice; Alice frowned, predicting another wave of an upcoming headache. Carlisle was immediately lost in thought. Everyone was confused. Everyone except for Emmet. My brother sighed. He was disappointed.

"That's all?" he asked, and it recalled our old conversation again. "Really? Tanya is going to drive all over the country because of a new lover?"

"Why not? Everything is possible," Carlisle didn't want to discuss it anymore. The topic of conversation was going to be private. He was too polite to interfere in Tanya's personal life.

"But we haven't heard about anyone else here. We are the single coven in the area," said Emmet.

"Why Tanya's lover must be a vampire?" asked Esme.

"Really?" Emmet grinned. "I've always thought that Tanya is too… passionate. I don't think any human can survive that!"

He laughed.

"If he is a vampire, he may travel alone, like Laurent," Rose suggested.

After the episode with James, Laurent went to Alaska on Carlisle's advice. He spent a year, living there, trying to get used to new rules. It appeared to be too difficult for Laurent, and, in spite of having a short affair with Irina, Tanya's sister, he left the coven. When I visited Denali after breaking up with Bella, Laurent had already gone. No one had seen him since then, except for Irina, who was visiting the vampire time after time. Her interest in Laurent turned into a crush on him, crush – into obsession. Irina kept searching for Laurent again and again, persuading him to stay with her. We all knew how it was going to end. One day Laurent ran away so far that Irina wouldn't be able to find him. Tanya hated that situation, but she had no power to stop her sister. At least, Irina was trying to be happy, but… should Tanya live that life too?

"The only one thing we know is that Tanya is going to visit frequently," said Esme, finishing the conversation.

"It's so sad that we haven't recognized the cities yet…" Alice murmured. She began to worry about it, worry much more that she had shown Jasper. Alice thought that her visions could open the door to our future. But what kind of door would it be?

I sighed, reading Alice's thoughts. The uncertainty was killing me too.


I didn't need treatment anymore. Alice finished nursing me, and her constant care stopped being so obsessive. I was capable of taking care of myself, cook for Charlie and clean the house without any help. I was even planning to return to work at Newton's. Everything was getting almost normal, although it would never be the same again.

Edward replaced Alice, turning into a constant guest in my house. We agreed to become friends again, and we did our best, trying to keep that promise.

Edward had decided to ask a million of questions, trying to find out everything that he had missed. We avoided speaking about our break-up; it was awkward, and we managed to prevent uncomfortable situations. Weird, but we really learned to do that - pretend being grown-ups.

I didn't know what to tell Edward about myself, but I could mention others' lives, so I decided to tell Edward about our former classmates. I didn't know much, but Forks was a very small town. You are going to know everything even if you don't want to.

While I was cooking dinner for Charlie, Edward was standing near, listening to every word I was saying. And he laughed, when I told him about Jessica.

"What's funny?" I asked, puzzled.

In my opinion, Jessica was very successful. In contrast to me, she passed exams easily and was admitted to the university in California, got a job and married a few months ago. All her wishes had come true.

Edward shook his head.

"I'm not surprised to hear that news about Jessica. She's very predictable."

I glanced at him distrustfully.

"She just copied you, Bella," he explained. "You inspired Jessica to do this... Move to California, get a good job – everything."

Then came my turn to laugh.

"Very funny. Jessica and I are just like twins. How could I not notice that?"

I had to pay my attention on the pan now – the pork chops were nearly burnt. I shook my head. Edward distracted me all the time. When would I be capable of struggling that?

Edward chuckled.

"I had been listening to her irritating mind for a few years, Bella. Jessica envied you since your first day at school. It's not surprising that she had done everything trying to get your life."

I stared at him again. Was he serious?

"I don't believe you," I said. "You're exaggerating. Or it's just a joke I can't understand."

After covering the pan, I walked to the fridge and took out vegetables. Edward kept smiling, but the smile was different that time. He was enjoying my distrustful look.

"You're so special, Bella. And you still can't see that," he said quietly.

"Does it amuse you?" I asked.

"A little," Edward confessed. "But it would be great for you to see how special you are. You need to see yourself through others' eyes!"

"You mean to see myself with the help of ideal vampire vision? Yeah, I'm sure I'll be very impressed," I said sarcastically. Edward laughed again.

"So," I decided to change the subject, "are you going to tell me anything about Tanya? Alice remains silent about it."

Still holding the plate in my hand, I stumbled. The plate slipped out and nearly dropped on the floor. Edward caught it and returned the plate to me.

"There is nothing to say, actually," Edward's tone was clear – he had no desire to speak about that. Delicate, delicate Edward. "Alice's visions are real, but nobody can interpret them. It looks like Tanya may meet… someone special one day."

"She will fall in love?" my voice sounded too high. I blushed. Edward laughed again, noticing my expression.

"The news is shocking for us too," Edward softened immediately. "We got a few theories about the person she's seeking. The most popular is that Tanya will meet a single traveler, like Laurent…"

Laurent? I frowned. His name was almost forgotten by me, but only one mentioning revived dozens of old memory pictures.

A thunderstorm. An endless field. Baseball. The game. Edward's speed and his melodic laugh. The Cullens. And a few strangers who interfered in our lives in a one single moment.

She's with us.

But she's a human!

"Ouch…"

I felt sudden pain and looked at my hand. Deep in thought, I managed to cut myself on the knife. A thick line crossed the palm, revealing bright, rust-smelling blood. My heart missed a beat. I gazed at Edward, realizing that he shouldn't have smelled the blood…

"You probably should leave the kitchen for a while," I advised, clenching my fist automatically and feeling a new sharp wave of pain. "Go outside, breath some fresh air."

Edward's chest wasn't moving. He must have stopped breathing after smelling the blood. Edward froze, his glance fixed on my palm. Edward's eyes darkened, making him look older and more dangerous. An old instinct made me feel a desire to make a step away.

But I didn't. After making a deep breath, I repeated:

"Just go, Edward. Don't tempt fate!" my voice was forced.

A second after Edward nodded and left the kitchen. He was fast. I didn't notice his movements at all. I took a breath out and returned to my palm, examining it. I was so stupid! It was my fault. I should have been more attentive…I went to the sink and turned on the tap, preparing to clean the wound.

"Let me…" a velvet voice whispered. I jumped.

Edward came back, holding a medicine chest, his teeth still clenched, his eyes burning. He was in hell, but trying to survive the agony.

"You don't have to," I protested. Edward didn't listen. He had been examining the cut already. Edward shook his head again, murmuring something. I heard the words like: "still credulous." He must have been offended that I believed in his leaving.

"You're lucky. The wound isn't deep. The blood is already coagulating."

"You really shouldn't do that," I said again. I had no idea how thirst was, but it wasn't easy, definitely. I examined Edward's face. The circles under his eyes turned blue.

"Don't worry, I can control myself," Edward caught my eyes and interpreted the glance in his own way. "And you shouldn't be afraid, Bella. I won't hurt you. And you shouldn't worry about James. He's dead."

A forgotten voice filled my head again.

Wouldn't you rather have Edward try to find me?

I shivered. I didn't like those memories…

"I wasn't scared," my voice trembled, betraying me. "But I just remembered…"

I remembered Phoenix, the dancing studio and the broken glass. I remembered pain, and the hunter's mad eyes. James's eyes. And my scream…

"Don't worry. James will never hurt you again," Edward's voice sounded soft, but that softness was deceptive. His eyes turned icy cold. Memories filled his head too.

"Do you see Laurent very often?" I asked when Edward was bandaging my palm. He still wasn't breathing. It looked so unnatural – not to breathe. Edward shook his head.

"I haven't seen him after the accident with James. Laurent had tried to settle in Alaska, but wasn't ready to accept our lifestyle completely. Only Irina sees him now."

"And what's about Victoria?" Edward shrugged.

"She seemed to give up her idea of revenge. Our coven is too big and strong. Victoria will never be able to win. She knows that. Victoria is smart, and she has a great surviving instinct. I won't be surprised if she has run away as far as possible."

I nodded. That news comforted me.

"Do you believe in fate?" Edward suddenly asked.

I looked up, returning to reality. Edward had finished bandaging the wound, but still held my palm. I didn't know what to say.

"Do you?" I asked back. Edward shrugged.

"I'm still not sure about Heaven and Hell, but sometimes I'd like to think that something is moving us toward your future," he confessed. "For example, I couldn't stop avoiding you," Edward laughed bitterly. "Fate has a strange sense of humor, hasn't it?"

I looked at my palm. The cut crossed my life line, changing its direction. What was fate preparing for me? I glanced at Edward. He smiled, glancing back.

"I'd better finish the dinner by myself," said Edward. "Sorry, but you can't live a day without finding a new trouble."

"You can cook?" I was amazed. It was Edward, not me, who got some interesting news…

"You'd be surprised," he answered, releasing my palm. "Actually, we all talked about it quite recently…"

The rest of the day was normal, almost ordinary, so I had time to calm down. Edward left the house before Dad's return. Charlie sighed, noticing my bandage.

"What have you done, Bella? You need to be careful."

He wasn't surprised, of course. I had always been the magnet for trouble. I went to bed in a good mood, hoping for a dreamless sleep. The air in the room was stuffy, and I had to open the window. It seemed an eternity before the wind began playing with curtains. I closed my eyes, finally relieved.

"How could you do this, Bella?"

He was just a dark silhouette standing in front of the open window.

"How could you forget me? Didn't you like our little game?"

His voice was a hiss. His features had already vanished from my human memory. That silhouette was all what I could see.

James stepped closer and sat on my bed. He was only a dream, of course. Edward said James was dead. But I still remembered his eyes. They were mad, burning and wild. James's eyes were alive. That's why I still remembered them.

"And your Edward is so weak," James chuckled. "He hasn't changed you yet."

"You're dead," I reminded him. He shouldn't have visited me. Even in my dreams.

James moved his head, examining me. Then sat closer and touched the bandage on my palm. I shivered.

"Just a fragile human… Do you think I'd give up so easily?"

His touch was deadly cold.

"Stay away from me," my voice was so weak. I was suffocating. James touched my cheek, irritating me. I was freezing. But I was sleeping... Why I was freezing?

"Do you think your precious Edward will save you now?" he whispered right in my ear.

James squeezed my hands, shaking me, like a doll.

"Don't touch me!" I cried loudly. His breath was deadly cold. "You're dead! Don't…"

"…Bella?"

I opened my eyes and looked around. It was dark, I was in my bed, and Edward was sitting near, holding me, his eyes wide open. He must have been shaking me, trying to wake me up. That's why James's touch was cold. It was Edward. The reality and the dream mixed, creating a perfect nightmare. I was breathing heavily. My T-shirt was wet.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked, worried.

"I don't know. I wasn't scared," I repeated. "But I just remembered…"

I didn't want to be scared. I'm a grown up now. Why should I be afraid of someone who died long ago? It's stupid. I shouldn't give up, I shouldn't…

"Hush, Bella," Edward hugged me, and his cold touch didn't scare me now. It was good to hug him back, to feel support and simple, sincere care.

"It's only a dream. James is dead, Bella. He'll never hurt you again," Edward whispered, comforting me. "Hush, Bella…"

Edward was lulling me to sleep with his whisper. His voice was quiet, but safe.