To the Morrow, For the Past

Chapter 3 - - Love Him - -

It took all of three days for Tifa to get the word out to the rest of their group and only two more days before they all arrived. Apparently Cid had decided that they all needed to come and greet their 'Newest family member' and had rounded up their former companions.

So he only had five days to become accustomed to taking care of a very young individual. Cloud was a hell of a quick learner, but even he needed more time than that. It had quickly become apparent that the baby-Zack hated to be left alone. Within seconds of being put down, the screaming would begin, only quieting when somebody picked him up. Getting him to sleep was difficult. Putting him down to sleep was even more so. Because of this, nobody in the building had slept much.

Except for Denzel, who could apparently sleep through the end of the world. (Okay, he hadn't slept through that, but Cloud wouldn't have put it past him).

It wasn't all that unexpected that when AVALANCHE arrived that Cloud stumbled out of his room, dumped the baby into Tifa's waiting arms and stormed over to the coffee machine. He didn't even wait for the coffee to cool before throwing it down his throat. Quickly followed by another cup. He didn't even seem to notice his friend for another two cups. When he finally put his mug down, he let out a tired sigh and retrieved his child from the ever patient and amused Tifa.

Now that he'd finished his coffee, and could feel the tingle of the Mako repairing his burned throat, Cloud felt a lot more human. Over the last few days, caffine had been his only true friend. It was there for him when he needed it, never complained and most importantly, never laughed at him. Shooting a dark look at Tifa, he adjusted his grip on the baby, allowing him a free hand to pour yet another cup of coffee.

Only then, did he turn around, seemingly taken aback by the presence of their friends. "Hi." He muttered, stifling a yawn and finding a table to sit down at. They were all here. It hadn't been long since they had last met up, just a few months, but Cloud found that he'd missed them. He wasn't the most social person in the world, but his friends didn't care. Sure, they might bully him into social situations, and literally smack him on the back of the head when they thought he was being obtuse, but wasn't that what friends were supposed to do? Cloud hadn't really had many friends growing up, or even after he joined the military. Sometimes he still wasn't sure how to act around them.

They were all looking at him. That made him a little uncomfortable. The only times in the past that they'd given him such direct attention had been when he was shouting orders at the end of the world. Now, there was no crisis, no battle to be fought. Just... a baby.

"You look like shit." Barret remarked, smirking at him from behind his own cup of joe.

"Language." Tifa scolded quickly, pulling up a chair beside him.

"You have a baby!" Once again, Yuffie had a knack for stating the obvious. "Oooooh! I'm going to teach him so much stuff! He'll be a mighty warrior, just like me!" She was bouncing. Cloud felt even more tired just watching her. Another cup down. Was it possible for someone enhanced by mako to overdose on coffee? Cloud was well on his way to finding out. Yuffie wasn't helping matters.

"So what the hell made you want to keep a kid?" Cid asked around a cigarette. Cloud glared at him and reached over the table, removing the offending item from his friend and putting it out on the bottom of his shoe.

"Bar's now smoke free." He muttered. "Its bad for kids." He adjusted his grip on the baby, still not entirely sure how he was supposed to hold him. No matter what he did, it was still an alien weight. Tifa had told him that he had to support the neck, and that babies shouldn't be held upside down. Most of what she said had made sense, but it had also made him self concious and he was constantly checking to make sure he was doing it right.

He looked at his gathered friends. All of them had an expectant look on their faces, waiting for him to speak – to explain how he ended up looking after an infant. Now he had to decide. Over the last few days, his mind had been spinning, wondering what he would tell the others. Should he go with the story about finding a child? Or tell them the truth? They would probably figure it out eventually anyway, and his friends finding things out from other sources had never worked well in the past. They always found out. Then they made him feel guilty for hiding things, or they got mad, or worse yet -disapointed. He hated disappointing his friends.

He sighed and closed his eyes, wishing for just a few more hours of sleep before he had to do this. Another mug of coffee was placed in front of him and he looked over his shoulder to nod his thanks to Tifa.

"I think... the planet asked me to take him." He muttered. He still wasn't sure on that, but it definitely hadn't been Jenova. Who else would speak into his mind? Who else would be able to take him to Aerith's garden? "I woke up in Hojo's lab. There was a voice..." He shook his head, knowing what his friends were probably thinking. "It wasn't Jenova." He assured them. "It wasn't Sephiroth. It was... It sounded like it was a thousand people, all speaking with one voice." He didn't know how to explain it any better. "It told me to save him." He shrugged. "The only other 'him' there was Hojo. I don't give a shit who asks, there's no way I would ever save that-"

Tifa nudged him with her elbow, "Language." She admonished slowly.

Nodding, Cloud sighed and continued with his story. "I killed Hojo and found the baby." He gently placed the baby on the table in front of him and removed the small knitted cap. (Apparently babies needed warm heads? He wasn't really paying attention when Tifa explained it to him). "Pretty sure you know who he is."

There was silence as his friends took in what he'd been saying. They stared at him in varying levels of disbelief and shock.

"You... adopted... Sephiroth?" Yuffie stuttered, seemingly the most bewildered. "I take it back." She added quickly, "I'm not going to teach him how to be a warrior. I'm never going to let him near a weapon!" She was on her feet in seconds, glaring at the baby as if he had personally offended her. Well. In one life he had, Cloud supposed.

"Are you certain that this is a good idea?" The rarely heard voice of Nanaki spoke up, his tone suggesting that Cloud should think hard and long about this. If there was anyone in the room that Cloud could count on to give the baby a chance, it was Nanaki. The wolf-cat was wise beyond his years. He was probably the only one that would believe that the planet talked to him.

"I have no idea. But who else?" He looked up at the figure looming in the shadowed corner of the bar. "The only person I could think of that could keep up with an enhanced kid is you." Vincent tilted his head to one side, seemingly thinking about it. Then again, it was always difficult to tell what was on Vincent's mind.

"I'm not sure being around Chaos would be a nurturing environment." Came the calm reply. A worry was hidden in the deep baritone, betraying his calm exterior.

"That's what Tifa said." Closing his eyes, Cloud tipped his head back and sighed. He pulled the baby back into his arms, having heard the tell tale whimpering that warned of a tantrum. At least he could adjust how he was holding him without having to look now. After a moment, he opened his eyes and looked at his friends. They were still looking at him as if he'd lost his mind.

"But..." Yuffie was still staring at Cloud. "But... It's Sephiroth..."

"Zack." The word was firm, leaving no room for argument. While he'd been hesitant at first, Cloud had agreed with Tifa that the name fit, and that the baby would be better off without the constant reminder of who he could have been.

Again there was silence. Again everybody was staring at him like he was insane. Maybe he was. Maybe this was all a product of yet another mental break, the hallucinations of mako addiction.

"Tifa said I should treat him like he was mine." He explained, "Because there would be no point in taking him from a home he was hated in, just to bring him to another." After the children had gone to bed that first night, they had discussed that in length. "If he's going to grow up to be any different, he needs to be treated differently. He needs to be cared for."

"But it's-"

"No." Cloud cut off Yuffie, flashing a glare at her. "No. He may be genetically identical, may have the same parents, the same beginning. But this isn't the Sephiroth we know. He hasn't done anything. Look at him." He demanded, levelling his eyes at everyone in the room, glaring at them as if to challenge them to disobey. "Is this the man who burned down my town? Who summoned a meteor. Do you think, that the individual I'm holding is even physically capable of doing those things? Are you really going to blame him for things that another man did? Are you going to treat him like the monster he once thought himself, just because he was made in a different way?"

There was a pause. Everyone was listening to him, absorbing his words, somewhat shocked at his outburst. For Cloud, that was pretty unusual. Normally he would just sit quietly and wait until people were ready to listen.

"You're right." Reeve spoke up from his corner, looking at the baby. He had been leaning against a wall, but now he stepped forward to join the others at the table. He sat down, eyes never leaving the child. "He is the only innocent being here."

He was right. They had all done things, terrible things, in their past. Cloud looked around the room, eyes settling on each of his friends one at a time. Yuffie seemed to be the one struggling with her feelings. He could see that a part of her understood and agreed with what he was saying, while the other part of her couldn't get over the fact that the Demon of Wutai was gurgling in her friends arms.

Cid's fingers were twitching, as if he was craving another cigarette but holding himself back. He had a thoughtful look on his face, and like Yuffie was staring at the baby.

Behind him, Vincent's expression was just as unreadable as it usually was. He seemed to be the only one in the room looking at Zack and not seeing Sephiroth.

At Cloud's knees Nanaki moved, putting his front paws on the table and lifting his body up to have a closer look at baby Zack. He moved his snout close to the infant and sniffed, "He doesn't smell like Sephiroth." He said quietly, "He smells new." Cloud smiled as the tension in the room began to dissipate.

"Well, babies do have a special smell." Barret said quietly. "Cloud... Promise me that him being here doesn't put Marlene in danger." When Cloud nodded, Barret continued, "Then... it's up to you, I guess. It's your kid."

Yeah. He still wasn't used to that idea. It didn't sit very well on him and he felt vaguely uncomfortable. The weight of his friends stares didn't help much either. "Vincent." He said, standing. "He's still Lucrecia's son." He had no idea where he was going with this. Was he going to ask Vincent to babysit? To try to convince him to take him? "Do.. Do you want to hold him?" After a moment Vincent nodded, stepping forth and taking hold of the child.

Vincent didn't look in the least bit uncomfortable. He looked like this was the most natural thing in the world for him to be doing, and Cloud had to fight back a small pang of jealousy. Really, if it weren't for the presence of a literal demon within Vincent, Cloud would be sure that giving the man the child to raise would be the best thing to do. Vincent knew Sephiroth's mother, he had loved her. Vincent would have been the obvious choice to take care of her son when she could not. Except he couldn't.

Still, harbouring a demon was a very good excuse not to babysit.

Vincent did seem quite taken with baby Zack. He was staring down intently at him, absently rocking. He held the baby carefully with his gauntleted hand, gently stroking the top of his head with the other. "He looks like his mother." He said quietly, his voice cracking a little. Maybe in another time, another life, this would have been. Cloud had no doubt that Vincent would do anything for Lucrecia, even raising her son.

Cloud surveyed the people in front of him. They were all once again staring at either the baby, or the man holding the baby, so he took this opportunity to slowly stand and sneak away from the table. Hopefully it would take them long enough to realise he was gone that he could get in a quick cat nap.

– – – – – –

Even after two weeks, Cloud was still astounded by just how hard taking care of an infant was. Zack didn't do much of anything, and yet there was so much work to be done. Apparently, after feeding, he needed to be burped. He needed to be held in the right way so his head didn't hurt his neck. He had to wear several layers so that he wouldn't over heat or get cold. He couldn't spend too long on his back, he couldn't spend all day in his capsule. And for some reason, Tifa insisted that he had shoes. The boy had no need of them! It wasn't like he was going to suddenly run off. But no, apparently he had to have them. Cloud had given up arguing at that point. So Zack had shoes.

Getting into routines had never been too difficult for Cloud. He'd been in the military after all. But routines with a baby changed. Trying to keep up was tiring, and every day he seemed to have a new need. Not to mention the fact that he couldn't stand to be left alone, or even put down for more than a few minutes.

It didn't take long for Cloud to realise that he had to change his wardrobe almost completely. Having a large sword strapped to his back, and sharp pointy accessories on his clothing was apparently a bad idea. He'd even had to change out his earring to something a little... less. Now, at nearly five weeks old, Zack was flailing his limbs, catching on anything and everything in his immediate proximity. Cloud had even had to wear a shirt without a zip as it kept getting caught in the young boy's silver hair.

Things had changed drastically over the last few weeks. While before Cloud had felt an intense need to keep moving, unable to stay in one place too long, now he couldn't fathom moving from once place to another every other day. The fact that he barely slept didn't help.

His friends had been surprisingly accepting and helpful once they had got over their initial shock. It didn't take long for them to start calling the baby Zack, and even to start to dote on him. They had truly taken him in to be a part of their extended, dysfunctional family. So it wasn't really a surprise when Cloud woke one morning to find Zack wasn't in his room. He knew that he would be with someone in the main area of the bar. Apparently lack of sleep made Cloud "grumpy" and "grouchy", so they had apparently been taking turns stealing the child away so that Could could keep sleeping, claiming that it was in self defence.

What was a little surprising was this mornings babysitter. Of all his friends, Yuffie had been the slowest to accept Zack into her life. He couldn't blame her. The Sephiroth of their time had been ruthless, had destroyed her country and culture, had killed so many people she loved even before losing his mind. But this baby wasn't that man.

"Does he ever do anything?" She asked him as he poured himself a coffee. He no longer needed to down it in one go, and these days he only needed three cups in the morning. Down from ten.

Cloud regarded her for a moment before shrugging. "Not really." He muttered, "Just cries, eats, shits. Repeat." He sat beside her at a table, taking note of the fact that Zack seemed happy to be laying on the table, Yuffie's hand pressed gently on his stomach. He was getting better. Now he would keep calm with a simple hand on him instead of needing to be held constantly.

He was startled out of his musing by Yuffie's sudden laughter and his gaze quickly left Zack to look at her in confusion, wondering what he'd done this time.

"Sephiroth routinely shits his pants and you have to clean it up!" She managed between snorts of mirth, her fingers dancing over the boy's stomach in an imitation of tickling. Zack gurgled, his arms flailing and catching one of hers. She moved her hand to hold his, grinning down at him.

He hadn't really thought of it like that. A chuckle left his lips and he shook his head. "He's not really Sephiroth." He reminded her. "Just... Genetically the same. He wont grow up to be that man."

"I know, I know. But it's still funny." She looked down at the baby and grinned at him, "You are far too cute to grow up to be that bad man." She cooed, speaking in that god awful baby talk. She lifted him up into her arms and rocked him slowly, "Cloud won't let you, and if he fails, there's a dozen other people who wont let you fall." She was still speaking in baby tongue, but Cloud had to hold his breath for a moment. He knew that his friends would have his back, that they would rally behind him if he needed them, but he hadn't thought- But now he did think about it, he knew he shouldn't have been surprised. For all Cid's jokes, they really were a family.

"Why are you the one looking after him?" Cloud asked when he regained his equilibrium.

She shrugged, "Vincent said I should 'bond' with him. Whatever that means." She sighed and put Zack back down on the table, making sure to keep a hand on him. She'd learned the hard way that Zack always needs physical reassurances.

"I think he wants you to see him for who he is, not who he was. Or could be. Whatever." Tenses were confusing and he frowned before shaking his head. Sipping at his coffee, he watched the youngest active member of their group.

The young ninja gave a nod. "Yeah. I guess that makes sense. But he's really boring."

"Yeah." Cloud agreed with a chuckle.

"So!"

Oh no. Cloud knew that tone of voice. Yuffie had had another idea. She was standing on the table, hands on her hips, a mischievous glint in her eyes. He held back a sigh as he joined Cid and Nanaki at a table. Zack was in Cid's arms taking a bottle. Cid had a toothpick in his mouth and was chewing around it idly. He didn't even look up when Yuffie had spoken, too interested in watching the baby eat. Nanaki was curled up on one of the chairs, his ear twitched, but other than that he gave the impression that he was sleeping.

"What is it Yuffie?" Cloud asked in a resigned voice, he knew better than to ignore her. She threw bigger temper tantrums than Zack.

"We should throw a party! Zack is the newest member of AVALANCHE and needs to be celebrated! We can get him a cake and candy and presents and-"

"He can't eat solids yet..." Cloud tried to interrupt with his point, but Yuffie simply spoke over him.

"We can take him on a trip and show him the Shera and take him to the Golden Saucer and-" At this point, Cloud tuned her out until she finished talking, concentrating instead on his coffee.

"He's two months old." When she finally quietened enough for him to get a word in, Cloud looked at her. "He can't see more than three inches from his face and he hasn't developed the ability to form long term memories." Those baby books had been helpful. "What would the point be?"

Yuffie deflated with a sad sigh. "He's boring Cloud! We need to liven him up!"

"Give him a year." Cid finally spoke up with a smirk, holding said baby against his chest to burp him. "Give him two and he'll be runnin' all around gettin' into stupid amounts of trouble. You won't be able to keep up."

"He's learning how to smile." Cloud said with a shrug. "He's got a lot to learn before he can be 'interesting'. He's not going to just-" He gestured to the baby, lifting his arms as if to indicate growing- "suddenly be doing stuff."

The Wutanian princess sighed again, sitting down heavily. "I know." She grumbled. "I just don't know what I'm supposed to do with him."