To the Morrow, For the Past

Chapter 6 – Find Him –

The air was getting cooler as darkness began to fall. The festival seemed to pick up in intensity and bonfires were lit. People began dancing around them, music playing loudly over the chattering hum that large crowds tended to generate. Somewhere in the streets was a blue balloon, floating around hip height, being batted to and fro by the movement of the crowd. Below it, a small boy toddled forward, reaching for it and occasionally stumbling before standing to run after it again. Nobody seemed to pay him any mind, everyone caught up in their own merriment.

Until one man saw him. The boy seemed to be alone, nobody watching him. "Hey kiddo." The blonde man crouched in front of the young boy, his hand snagging the string of the balloon. He handed it to the boy and smiled reassuringly at it. "Where's your mum and dad?" He asked quietly. He didn't make any sudden moves towards the boy, and spoke quietly, not wanting to spook him. These days it was safer to assume that all children were dealing with some sort of trauma than not.

The boy looked up at him, and the man had to stifle a gasp of surprise. The silver hair had been unusual, but not completely unheard of, but those eyes... only one person he'd ever known had had those eyes. Was this boy related to him?

"My name's Kunsel." He said, offering a hand to the boy to shake, smiling and not letting his surprise show. The boy just continued to wordlessly stare at him for a little while before reaching out and taking his hand.

"My n'm is Zack." He said quietly, a little shyly.

"That's a good name. I had a friend with that name." Kunsel smiled, slightly bitter sweet at the memory of the tall SOLDIER. "Shall we go look for your mummy or daddy?" He asked, and when Zack nodded, he reached forward. "Is it okay if I carry you? You'll be able to see better if you're higher up."

Another nod, and the boy was in his arms, still clutching tightly to the balloon string in his hand. He didn't say anything more, just looked around with a small frown, eyes darting around the crowd.

"What's your mom's name?" Kunsel asked. Such a young boy might not know, but it was always worth checking.

"Only Da." He heard the boy say. There was no hint of sadness in his voice, so whatever had happened to his mother must have been a long time ago.

"That's okay, lets see if we can find him. What's his name?" Zack looked up at Kunsel, a new frown on his face.

"Da?" Zack tried to answer. "Like you." He pulled on Kunsel's blond hair and then held it up, as if to make it spike.

Kunsel nodded, hoping he understood. Blonde hair wasn't all that common, especially not in these parts, so finding this boys father shouldn't be too hard.

From across the crowd, Kunsel's SOLDIER hearing picked up a frantic call. Someone was definitely looking for the kid. He headed in that direction, keeping up a small monologue to keep the boy comforted.

Distracted, he didn't realise that the shouting had stopped until a sword appeared in front of his face. Swallowing, he shifted slightly to hold the boy further back, in an effort to protect him. His eyes followed the blade up to the very angry looking blonde wielder. The man's eyes held the same Mako glow as Kunsel's own. This was a very dangerous situation to be in.

"Give him back." The growled demand was hard to hear over the sounds of life around them. When Kunsel took too long to reply, the blade was twisted slightly to bring his attention back to it. As if he could forget that the massive (and somewhat familiar) blade was held within an inch of his face.

"Zack," Kunsel said softly, not wanting to betray his current level of anxiety, "Do you know this man?"

"Da!" Zack began to wriggle in Kunsel's arms. Slowly, making his every movement obvious, he lowered himself to his knees and set the boy on his feet. In a flash, the sword was gone and the boy was swept up by -

"Hey, I know you." Kunsel didn't stop the words coming from his mouth as he returned to his feet. "You were an infantryman. Zack's friend." His name was on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't remember it. But he did remember that Zack's friend had never made it to SOLDIER. Why then, did the man have the Mako glow in his narrowing eyes?

The blonde man gave a small nod, his arms around his boy in a protective manner. "Cloud." He said, regarding Kunsel with suspicion.

"I'm Kunsel." He said, "I was- Zack was my friend."

Cloud nodded, the suspicion receding a little, but not completely. "Thank you." He said, looking at his son for a moment. "For giving him back."

"Yeah man, no problem. I saw him walking around alone. Kalm's pretty safe and all, but I didn't want him to stay lost."

Cloud seemed to give a surprised start, his eyes jumping to his son before returning to Kunsel. "He can't walk yet..."

Kunsel just shrugged, "Apparently he can. He was chasing a balloon," He gestured to the string still in Zack's hand. Cloud held the boy closer for a second.

"Did you walk, Zack?" He asked quietly and the boy beamed up at him, babbling in a way that only young children can.

Without looking back at Kunsel, Cloud walked off, chatting softly with the boy.

– – – –

How could he have been so careless!? Cloud clutched tightly to Zack, holding him as close to his chest as he safely could. He was storming forward, the crowds parting for him without him even noticing. His mood was rapidly souring, and all he wanted to do was get Zack home. His body was shaking, his mind racing. Things could have gone so bad. If Zack had been found by somebody else... No. He shook his head, clearing it of those thoughts. It wouldn't do to dwell on that right now.

"Cloud!" Tifa's anxious shout rang out, and Cloud soon found himself face to worried face with her. He could almost taste the relief when she saw he held Zack. "You found him." She let out a breath and reached a shaking hand forward to rest it on Zack's head, her shoulder's sagging as they relaxed from their hyper tense state.

Cloud nodded, "An ex-SOLDIER found him." He said quietly, "Brought him back." Together, they headed towards the outskirts of town, Tifa leading the way. She had pulled out her PHS and sent a message to their friends.

"An ex-SOLDER? Didn't think there were many of them left." They soon reached the airship and Cloud felt the tension leave him the moment they stepped on board.

"Yeah. He said he was a friend of Zack's." Feeling the boy in his arms look up at the sound of his name, he lowered his head to smile at him, still talking to Tifa. "The other Zack, I mean."

They walked through the cargo bay and down to the small cafeteria like area. Once they were inside, Cloud closed the door tightly before putting Zack down. "He said Zack was walking around. Hey buddy," He caught the boy's attention. "You can't wonder off like that." He said, "You could get hurt, and if I don't know where you've gone, then I can't help you."

He watched the boy, trying to see if he understood. He was a very intelligent child, but he was still a child. A very young one at that. Zack watched Cloud's face, his own forming a small frown before clearing up into a smile.

"Okay Da." He said, reaching up to put his arms around Cloud's neck in a hug. Cloud let out a small sigh and returned the hug.

"Good. You had us worried." The blonde let go and stood. "You didn't eat all your lunch, are you hungry?"

"Eat!"

Chuckling, Cloud nodded. "Okay. Hey buddy," He turned towards the counter, subtly keeping his eyes on his son. "Can you go to Tifa?" And from the corner of his eyes, he saw Zack take one step forward, then another. Soon his was all but running to Tifa. And boy did he move fast.

– – – –

Zack's new found mobility had caused Cloud a few almost heart attacks. The boy never seemed to look where he was going and had already run into a large number of objects around the bar. Tifa had done her best to baby proof the area, but there was only so much she could do. They had agreed that Zack would have to be watched constantly whenever he was in the bar.

Luckily, Cloud and Zack's room was a lot easier to baby proof, and Zack had been allowed to wonder around as he please, which he had loved. Every time Zack got to his feet anywhere but in their room, Cloud became anxious. He would watch Zack closely, forcing himself not to rush forward and stop the boy from getting hurt.

His baby books and Tifa had both told him that young children needed to get small bumps and bruises as a part of their development and learning. Apparently protecting Zack from every little danger was a bad thing.

This wasn't the first difficult learning curve, but it was one of the hardest. Cloud's instinct to protect had to be pushed down whenever he watched Zack running around. He flinched any time the child came too close to running into another wall or chair, but held himself back, only allowing himself to approach if Zack needed comfort.

It had surprised him how quickly he'd come to care for Zack. He'd never intended on having children, having believed that he would never be a good parent. When he'd found Denzel, he knew that the boy needed help. Tifa had said to bring him home, so Cloud had. He hadn't realized that Tifa had only intended on treating the boys wounds and feeding him a little. When she had said that Denzel was ready to go, Cloud had stepped in and said he should stay. He still didn't know why he'd done that. He never regretted it, but Denzel was as much Tifa's child as he was his, and he was old enough to be mostly independent.

But with Zack... The boy had been all but forced on him. He hadn't thought he would be able to bond with the young version of Sephiroth, but he had. And quickly. Zack was nearly a year and a half old now, and Cloud absolutely adored him. His life had changed a lot in the last 18 months, but he wouldn't change things for the world.

A soft sigh came from beside him and Cloud smiled at the boy curled up against his side. Cloud had been reading through a mechanic's guide when Zack had climbed up next to him. Switching the guide to the other book on his bedside table, Cloud started the next chapter of Zack's book, reading it out loud and holding it so that Zack could look at the pages. It had become habit when Zack had been around six months old.

"Da." Zack's sleepy voice interrupted Cloud's reading and he looked down at his son.

"What is it buddy?"

"Can we go church morrow?" The sleepy boy asked, rubbing his eyes with a closed fist before turning his hopeful green eyes up at Cloud.

"Sure." Cloud put the book down and leaned forward to kiss Zack's forehead. "Let's get you to bed now, so we can go nice and early." With that, he tucked the boy in and watched as he fell asleep.

Like always, the church was serene. The small breeze blew through the ruined walls, echoing lightly off the remaining structure. The flowers swayed lightly and Cloud gently placed Zack in front of the flowers.

"Zack wanted to come here today." He said quietly, speaking to his memory of her.

Zack had once asked why Cloud spoke to the flowers, and Cloud had done his best to explain it to him. The boy was still too young to properly understand the concept of death, and Cloud really had no idea how to explain it to him. So he'd told Zack that somebody he loved very much wasn't there any more, and that he remembered her when he sat by the flowers.

It was close to the truth, and when Zack was old enough, Cloud might try to explain it again.

"Hello." Zack said brightly. Once Cloud had explained to him his story, Zack had started to join in with the talking. Sometimes he would get quiet and answer a question that wasn't asked. Cloud assumed that Zack was playing along, pretending that Aerith was speaking to him. One sided conversations weren't exactly a common occurrence, and Zack knew that to have a conversation, you needed two people to talk.

Cloud idly fixed Zack's collar as the boy leaned over and began to tend to the flowers. Cloud followed his example.

"I can run now!" Zack said happily, "And Da gets all scared. Is funny." Cloud frowned at that, shaking his head in exasperation. "S'times I run in stuff, but it's okay 'cause Da and Tif is always there." He continued to 'talk' to Aerith as he pulled weeds from the flowerbed. Cloud was sure that these conversations were helping Zack learn how to use his words. He'd been picking up a lot more of them recently and always seemed to be able to string them together better after visiting the church.

When Zack went quiet, Cloud looked down at him. The boy was deep in thought, his fingers gently stroking a petal. Zack smiled softly, "Yeah." He said quietly, "He does." He looked up at Cloud and grinned, "She says you love lots."

Cloud had to smile softly at that and nod. It sounded very much like something Aerith would say. "Yeah. I guess I do."

Suddenly, Zack was three. He was running around after the older children, and was truly starting to show his own, unique, personality. He was shy and quiet around people he didn't know, somewhat reserved even, but around those he knew and trusted, he was a chatter box. He loved to be helpful and was usually kind. Aside from the odd temper tantrum that one expects from a toddler, he was also pretty well behaved.

This is what Sephiroth could have been. This kind, sweet boy who loved to tend to flowers and 'talk' to Cloud's dead friend. The boy that would become upset if he thought he'd hurt someone, or cry when his friends left to go home.

Cloud only hoped that Zack would keep these qualities as he grew.

He'd finally become comfortable leaving Edge with Zack, but only if the boy promised to stay by Cloud's side at all times. Zack took his promises seriously, especially when Cloud had offered him his pinky finger to seal the promise.

Now that Cloud was comfortable taking Zack out of the city with him, he'd started running a few deliveries again. It was nice to be on the road, even if it was in a car rather than on the back of Fenrir. Zack absolutely loved going for long drives. He would wind the window all the way down, laughing joyously at the feel of the wind rushing through his almost shoulder length hair. On the longer trips he would sleep for most of the time, but when he was awake, he would stare at the rapidly changing surroundings as if trying to take it all in.

That was something that Cloud had noticed. Zack loved to observe and learn. If he was in a new situation or place, he would look everywhere he could and take in all the information he could learn before speaking to anyone. This didn't really surprise Cloud, Zack was genetically identical to Sephiroth, and the older man had always known everything that was happening around him. That was what made him such a good leader.

What did surprise Cloud was how fast and how much Zack was learning. When she was sure that Cloud had intended on raising Zack, Tifa had put Cloud in contact with other local parents, and had all but showered him in any and every baby book she could find. According to both the books and the parents, Zack shouldn't be half as aware as he was. Ordinary 18 month old babies didn't speak in full sentences and had a much harder time comprehending the world around them. Yet Zack did, and not only that, but he'd shown an interest in learning things that he shouldn't be ready for yet.

He wasn't quite up to reading, but he could follow the words. He knew that longer written words took longer to say and would point at the pages in the book, running his fingers along the text that Cloud was reading. He couldn't recognise individual letters yet, but he seemed to have a grasp on what written words were.

It probably shouldn't have been a surprise though. Zack had been genetically enhanced, modified with the intent of breeding a superior being. Faster, stronger, more agile and more intelligent. Cloud wouldn't have put it past Hojo to have aimed for Sephiroth to have matured faster. Wasn't he already a military leader at thirteen? Cloud vaguely remembered doing the math and being astounded.

So if the other version of Sephiroth had been sent to war at thirteen, then it made sense that he had matured faster than the average human. It also explained Zack's height. At 18 months, Zack was already going to a small preschool -one that was intended to encourage children to interact with each other and learn how to form friendships- and he was already almost half a head taller than the other children. When Cloud thought of Sephiroth's full height – well over six feet tall – it definitely made sense that Zack would be taller than average.

Still, it would be nice if he stayed the same height for more than a few months. Cloud was somewhat tired of having to constantly buy him new clothes. But at least he now had a use for the shoes that Tifa still bought him.

Reaching their destination, Cloud pulled the car to a slow stop and looked at the seat behind him. Zack was fast asleep, a stuffed chocobo in his arms. Being as quiet as he could, Cloud climbed out of the car and quickly dropped the package off. He was gone less than two minutes but still felt anxiety when coming back to the car. Thankfully, Zack hadn't moved and Cloud climbed back into the drivers seat.

They were on their way to the chocobo farm for their main delivery, but he'd had one to drop off at Kalm first.

Pausing to take a drink from his water bottle, Cloud leaned back in his car seat and sighed. He watched Zack for a moment, wanting to take him in. He was growing so quickly that Cloud was afraid he'd miss it. After a moment, he turned around and started the engine.

– – – – –

Zack slept all the way to the chocobo farm. Cloud was somewhat envious. It had been almost half a days travel – much slower than it would have been on Fenrir, and Cloud was becoming fatigued. He pulled to a stop and turned the engine off before waking Zack.

Sleepy green eyes looked up at him as Cloud released him from his harness. Usually, Cloud would leave Zack in the car when they stopped to drop off a package – unless Zack needed to be changed or fed – but this time, Cloud wanted Zack to see the chocobos.

It had been Cid that had given him the stuffed one, and Zack had absolutely loved it. He only ever let go when Tifa insisted that the toy get washed, and then Zack would stand there and watch as it was washed. When it was set out to dry, Zack had been told that he couldn't play with it until Tifa or Cloud told him it was dry, so he would sit next to the washing line and watch the sky while he waited.

It amused Cloud, and he was glad that the boy didn't throw tantrums like the other children he'd seen. Apparently it was normal, and even healthy, for him to have a comfort toy so Cloud didn't discourage it.

Zack had named it Nuggets.

"Hey buddy," Cloud said to the sleepy toddler. "There's something I want to show you." He lifted the boy into his arms, knowing that Zack was too sleepy to walk by himself. Also, Cloud didn't want him running off. Chocobos were normally docile, but they were much bigger than the baby.

"'Kay." Zack muttered, holding Nuggets close to his chest and nuzzling against Cloud's.

He carried Zack to the edge of the paddock before nudging him awake again. When Zack looked up at him (slightly grumpy from being woken up), Cloud tilted his head and let out a whistle, pointing towards the giant bird heading his way.

When Zack's eyes caught it, they widened and he grinned, reaching for it. The chocobo padded closer and Cloud ruffled the feathers on the side of the bird's neck. "Hello," He greeted it. It had always amused his friends that he would talk to chocobos, but it seemed to work for him. It had helped the wild ones calm down enough to take a rider, and he was convinced that speaking to them had been what had given him the edge at the races.

Zack squealed in delight when the chocobo returned Cloud's greeting with a 'Kweh!' and lowered its neck.

They stayed out there for a few minutes before Cloud went inside to deliver the package.

– – – – – –

It became a semi-regular trip for them after that. Zack would bug and pester Cloud until he agreed to take Zack with him, and then off they would go, Zack barely able to keep his excitement in check.

By the age of three, Zack was allowed to ride one of the smaller chocobos. By age four, Cloud had bought him one of his own – a hatching to grow up with him. Zack had loved that chick and would become more and more insistent that they go.

It wasn't long after Zack had been given his very own chocobo (Biscuit) that Cloud had decided to try Zack out on the back of Fenrir. He had come across an attachment that fitted across the seat. It was a sort of harness that Zack fit in to perfectly, and most important of all, it was safe. Using Fenrir cut their journey time by a large fraction. It would be faster still if Cloud hadn't been worried about Zack – he was unwilling to go to maximum speed with a kid on the back. It was liberating. Cloud hadn't realized just how much he missed his bike.

On their last trip to the farm, the rancher had approached Cloud with a young chocobo and asked Cloud to take it for a run. Apparently it had been bread to race, but the jockey hadn't been able to make their regular trip and it needed to run to help the developing muscles. Cloud had hesitated for a moment, worried about Zack, before the rancher pointed out that Cloud probably weighed quite a bit less than the steeds jockey, and the addition of a small child would actually be a good thing. So Cloud had taken the chocobo for a run, Zack strapped to his front.

The boy had loved it. He liked to go fast, and seemed to enjoy the time spent with the birds. Cloud had had to insist that Zack tie up his long hair though – it was blowing into Cloud's face just a little too much.

Cloud would never forget that memory – Zack's exhilarated shouts of excitement, the feeling of the wind through his hair and the speed of the passing landscape. He wouldn't forget how happy he was, how satisfied and fulfilled. Sure, he'd lost a lot, and a lot of very bad things had happened to him in his life. But for the first time in a long time, Cloud felt truly happy.

Maybe he should have realised that it couldn't last.