Chapter 29 New life

I was so stupid, and I was so wrong. Having lost in Edward's presence, his smell and his deep eyes, I didn't realize what he was really up to. Still waiting for a kiss, I relaxed my vigilance. I made a huge mistake.

The pain I felt was sharp and strong, and it almost paralyzed me. I couldn't scream. I couldn't panic. All what I could feel was pain.

Caught in a trap, I had no chance to escape. The monster had finally shown his real face, and I didn't recognize him at all. Only now, dying in Edward's arms, I realized how actually dangerous he really was. I always, always underestimated him. I forgot that I needed to be afraid.

"Edward…" I whispered, but he barely noticed that.

The lion had caught his lamb.

I used my last strengths, trying to push the monster away, but he ignored that too. Edward's teeth sucked deeper into my skin instead, and I held my breath, trying to endure the pain. I didn't know how fragile my skin was, but it appeared to be like a sheet of paper. I was only a human, and I regretted that now.

That paralyzing pain was still there, but something began to change. The air lost its taste. My head was reeling. I felt giddy, and I felt deadly cold. I was not okay…

"Edward…" I barely whispered.

I made my last attempt to stop the monster. Strange, but I still had hope to reach out to Edward who was sharing the same body with the stranger I had never met. I was silly, I know, but hope was all I still had.

"Edward… Please, don't do this…"

My words woke something up inside of Edward's head. I felt how his body suddenly froze, and then Edward slowly moved away from me. The grimace of pain was pained on his face. I made a sigh of relief. The pain was fading away.

Unfortunately, I didn't have a chance to enjoy my victory. The darkness began to surround me from all sides. It was so powerful and so fast, that it absorbed me before Edward asked something. I didn't hear his question, but moved my head, trying to show that I had heard his voice.

Darkness was all around me. Actually, it wasn't that bad. I stopped feeling pain. Maybe, Edward drank too much of my blood. I stopped feeling anything, and that was great.

Not for too long. When I was ready to fade in that darkness, something went wrong. At first it felt like sunlight touched my neck. Its heat was weak, but almost pleasant, and I really enjoyed it. It reminded me of Phoenix and my childhood with Mom. God, I missed the sun…

The light's touch was getting stronger, turning into sunburn. I got a desire to cover my neck, to hide myself from that light and the heat if it could make me feel better. But I didn't have time to do that. Sunburn was evolving, turning into something else. There was getting too hot inside of me, and the heat began spreading through my whole body. It didn't warm me now – it was burning me, making me feel horrible, unbelievable pain.

"My neck is burning!" I cried as loud as I could.

My heart was pounding, and it was only picking up speed.

"I know, my love," I heard Edward's voice somewhere from a distance. "But I swear: it'll pass…"

The fog in my head vanished, leaving striking clearness. I knew what it was. I remembered. The venom was killing every cell of my body. The venom was killing me.

Edward's words irritated me. How could he stay so calm? He didn't understand anything!

"The fire! It burns me!" I cried again in despair. I squeezed Edward's hand, hoping that his cold touch would save me.

It didn't.

The fire inside of me was getting hotter. And hotter. Too hot! I couldn't stand it. How could I actually love the heat?! It seemed like I felt every cell of body, and I felt how every cell was burning in that fire. It was real hell, and I didn't know how to escape it. Every second was endlessly long, and it only prolonged my torture.

"It's getting stronger… " I complained to Edward.

"I know," he whispered back. "But you need to be strong. It'll end, I swear. Just stay strong."

It's easy to say that. At first I was confused by Edward's behavior, but then I realized: he just didn't understand it. Edward forgot what I had to go through. There was only reason why he actually made a decision to change me. Edward forgot what was that - to be human…

While my whole body was burning, my thoughts remained clear. I was so silly when I was dreaming about becoming a vampire. How could I actually have a desire to experience that?

Be careful what you wish for… one day your dream may appear to be too painful.

Pain was excruciating, and my body was twitching, trying to release that pain. Perhaps, I screamed, but I barely noticed that. I would do anything if it could help me get rid of that hell.

"The Volturi are coming," Edward's voice appeared out of nowhere. "I have to leave you for a while. I'll return when everything will be over."

I tried to move my head, searching for his eyes, but saw only darkness. Was he going to leave me? Hell no!

I was searching for Edward, but he was slipping off.

"I'll return as fast as I can," his voice was fading.

Panic was raising inside of me. My heartbeat was too painful. I had to accept the ugly truth. Edward left me. Again. He promised to stay with me, always - and he didn't fulfill his promise. I began to sob. Edward said that he loved me, but he let the darkness consume me and left nothing but pain. He shouldn't have returned after those long seven years. I was alone again.

The temperature was getting higher. Pain surrounded me from all sides. A billion sharp needles were piercing me again and again, making me shout. My skin was going to burn down right on me. I couldn't stand it. I couldn't stand it…

I wished I never appeared there. I wished I died in the car accident. I wished James killed me that day. I wished I stopped feeling that pain…

"Edward!" I cried, unable to suffer it in silence. It barely helped, but I tried again. "Edward!"

I hated that Edward left me and I would hate him too if he returned. I hated his perfectness, his marble skin, his golden eyes and his voice. I hated the day I had met him and the moment I fell in love with him. I hated myself for going to Forks and I hated myself for the life I had lived.

I would do everything for a chance of taking that pain away.


It seemed like I spent an eternity, boiling in that fire, when Edward's cold touch returned me to reality – if that reality still existed.

"It's over, Bella," he whispered. "They are gone. The Volturi are gone. We're safe."

He was rejoicing over it. I could hear it – and I hated it too.

"I don't care!" I cried angrily. "Please, take this pain away!"

Actually, that idea was good. Edward still could do it, right? He sucked out the venom after James had bitten me – and he could do that now…

"I can't," his answer was clear. "I'm sorry, Bella. The venom had already begun spreading. I can't stop this process."

"Then kill me," I suggested, writhing with pain. "Just kill me!"

"Bella…"

Pain colored Edward's voice. Good. He felt it too.

"Please, please, please, please," I cried. "Please, do this. If you really love me, then do this. I don't want to feel this pain anymore. Stop it. Stop the pain!"

"I can't!' his rigidity irritated me even more. "I'm sorry. I'm too selfish for that."

Another wave of pain covered me. My back arched.

"You'd better killed me today," I said angrily. "I wished you killed me today."

I was betrayed. Edward fooled me. He tricked me and sent me to hell... But I didn't do anything wrong! I just fell in love with a vampire. How could I know that my sin was so serious?


I cried, and screamed, and swore at Edward, recalling every curse I had ever known, but he kept sitting beside me, squeezing my hand and promising that my pain would fade. I didn't believe him, of course. Edward was a perfect liar. I couldn't trust him anymore.

I didn't know how long it lasted – in my opinion, I spent my whole life, burning in that fire. My body was trying to resist the venom, but I knew I was losing. I wasn't that strong.

Some time later I stopped screaming – it didn't help me, anyway. Clearness continued living inside of my head, and it helped me get it together and lay silent. I wanted to cry, but I felt that I couldn't do it anymore.

Then I began to think – and I had a lot to think about. I thought about Charlie, imagining his tired face. My poor Dad. He asked me to stay home, and I didn't listen. He had a bad feeling about that travel, and I completely ignored it. Different faces were flashing before my eyes. The man near the café warning us about new moon. Angela hugging me for the last time. Alice helping me with making my first step after the accident. The Cullens, always perfect and beautiful. Jacob Black who had the happiest smile in the world after mentioning his future child. My lovely and silly Mom. My Dad Charlie waving goodbye.

Charlie. What did I have to do now? I wished I could cry again. I lost Charlie forever. Even if survived that agony, I wouldn't be able to see him again…

"I didn't say goodbye to Charlie," I complained, turning my head and looking at Edward.

My vision was returning to me, getting clearer and clearer, but my heart was trying to leave my chest. It was still resisting.

Edward squeezed my hand again, and I didn't feel cold.

"Don't worry about it, my love," he murmured. "We'll work it out. I'll talk to Carlisle... we'll find the way to solve this problem."

I doubted it.

A few lifetimes later my feelings began freezing. I finally calmed down, and my anger vanished, leaving nothing but coolness. I had to admit that I was going to become a vampire. Edward was right - there's no turn back. The situation was getting clearer now. There's no turn back…

The fire began fading from my fingertips and toes. Edward smiled widely after hearing about that.

"It's almost over," he promised. "You'll see."

I didn't believe him, but he didn't lie. He didn't lie to me that time. The fire was fading, accumulating inside of my chest.

"This is the last part of the change, I promise," Edward said when my heart began beating faster. And faster. And faster. It was going to break into pieces. It was going to fight to the death.

I stopped counting my heartbeat. It was too rapid. Edward stopped breathing, staring at me.

I made a deep breath, trying to taste the air for the last time.

My heart made its last steps and then stopped. Silence filled the whole room. Edward and I didn't say anything. We both froze, waiting for a new heartbeat, but there was no heartbeat heard. There was no life there, only death.

Edward breathed a sigh of relief and touched my cheek gently. His touch was warm now, and, to my astonishment, I really liked it. It was like silk, if silk could be perfect.

I glanced at Edward for the first time. He was still dazzling me - I knew it for sure.

He smiled, watching me.

"Good morning," Edward said and then chuckled. He looked happy, "or, better say, good night."

I turned my head and looked out of the window.

"Twilight," I murmured, watching the deep purple sky. I didn't recognize my voice. It was too melodic.

Edward nodded.

"Twilight," he repeated. "The beginning of your new life."


Writer's note: It's not the end of the story, there's an epilogue left. I'll publish it tomorrow. Thanks for reading the story!