"You need to tell your mom!"
"I tried calling, you saw that,"
"And you told her it wasn't important, that she could call you whenever."
"Fine, I'll go over there today, if it'll make you happy."
"Thank you."
The days was full of changes. It had been a few months since Michelle's death. EAD Mosley came aboard replacing Granger. Hetty had apparently retired yet again and Sam was attempting to put back together the pieces of his life.
Mosley was not keen on the idea of Deeks and Kensi's relationship and partnership at work. Sending Deeks back to LAPD for the time being, shook up the remnants of the team. Callen needed Sam back and wanted Deeks to remain in place as the liaison. It was yet another challenge for the team.
Deeks starting off to a hell of a day, decided to see his mom and tell her the news. His mom was in a relationship of her own scarring Deeks. After the day, he headed to the crime scene. Kensi greeted him, missing him terribly. He told her he couldn't talk about the day right now. Riding in the car she pressed him more about his meeting with his mom.
"What did she say?"
"She knew weeks ago, Your mom told her."
"I knew it! Deeks is she upset at us?"
"Not us, just me."
"Well you kind of deserve it."
"Touché. So how was Mosley the rest of the day."
"She was ok. She let Callen and I pick a lock and enter the house without a warrant. Still, She's not Granger." Kensi's eyes filled with sadness.
"I miss him too."
"Hopefully Callen can convince her to let you come back. It would be terrible not having you there to have my back everyday. I guess we will see what he can do once we get back to the mission."
"Not to beat a dead horse, but maybe this is another sign. We're going to be getting married soon. Maybe it's time to move on."
"Have you come up with any good ideas on what we would do?" She asked considering his proposal.
"I don't know, but at this point, anything is better than Mosley and the dog pound."
"The what?"
"The room Bates gave me." He shook his head. "Never mind."
"I'm sorry you had a rough day." She rubbed his shoulder and neck as he drove.
"It's better now"
"So our moms know, our coworkers know, how bout we set a date?"
"Baby, Whatever you want I'm good with."
"Deeks..."she paused.
"Kens, I would marry you tomorrow. Just you and me on the beach, but I know that's not what you want."
"I want you to plan with me, be excited with me."
Deeks sighed. Planning wasn't really his thing, but he would do anything for her. "Baby, I am excited, but plans..."
They got back to the mission. Callen succeeded in getting Mosley to allow Deeks to stay. Cases came and went as did the days. Every night the pair went home, Deeks would bring up leaving.
"Athena huh? I guess I could get used to that, can we compromise on Athena Sunshine?"
"It was just one suggestion, Deeks. We have time to come up with a name when we decide to get pregnant."
"We could work on that tonight," he grinned.
Kensi rolled her eyes at him. "We talked about this, I'm just not ready yet."
"But your thinking about it, right?"
"Not every day like you, I guess."
He placed his hand on her stomach. I know whatever little mutant ninja assassin we make is going to be amazing. I'm excited for the possibilities."
Kensi sighed in a mix of frustration and sadness. She wasn't ready to give him what he desperately wanted. "How bout dinner?"
"Sure, wanna go out?"
"How but I make us some Grilled cheese?" Kensi suggested.
"Perfect. Kids love grilled cheese."
"Big kids do too apparently." She shook her head.
Kensi grilled them up some sandwiches. And brought them to the living room.
"I figured we could watch Titanic." Knowing he had been pushing too hard.
"Ok," she agreed handing him the sandwich.
He took a bite and eyed it over.
"Is there something wrong?" Kensi asked her dissatisfied fiancé.
Deeks tried not to answer taking another small bite.
She glared him over. "What's the problem."
"It's just different."
"What do you mean different? Cheese butter bread, flip on the stove."
"I just like a few cheeses, tomato, onion, adds to it."
"That's not even grilled cheese Deeks! That's your own concoction."
"A concoction I like."
"So, you're telling me I can't even make grilled cheese correctly, how do you expect me to feed and keep children alive!" She was angry and ready to cry all in one.
"Baby what are you talking about? I didn't say any of that."
"Forget it Deeks, you want to have babies, but you don't even want to set a date for the wedding, and you want to criticize how I make grilled cheese!" She stormed up to the bedroom.
Deeks felt awful but a little dumbfounded as well. He wasn't certain what really had just transpired. He thought about going upstairs after her, make a stupid joke, have her call him an idiot, and make things better, but he figured he had pushed her too far tonight. He had seen her like this during her recovery and the more he pushed the worse it made it. He decided to finish his grilled cheese and go to sleep on the couch. There wasn't many nights that they slept apart, but he concluded it was for the best tonight.
Kensi waited patiently expecting he'd chase after her. Many nights played that way during her recovery. She fell asleep waiting. When she woke up in the morning, he was already getting ready for work. He saw the stern look on her face. He decided to remain quiet.
"Do you want me to wait for you," he finally broke the silence.
She slammed the door without a response. She wasn't sure why she was acting the way she was, but she couldn't help the way she was feeling.
Deeks arrived to work without her and of course the boys were on him immediately. Kensi arrived a short time later, still upset.
"This is so much more than grilled cheese," Callen surmised.
Kensi got an immediate call to fly to Colorado. There wasn't much time for the couple to talk.
Deeks felt horrible the whole day, he couldn't talk to her and was worried she could die. He was angry at himself for going to bed angry and walking up angry. He vowed to himself that would never happen again, especially as long as they were in this job. As soon as he was informed Kensi was safe, he was relieved. The emotional day was getting to him. He headed to the roof for air. He wasn't mentally prepared to see her, as much as he wanted to.
Her flight home, all she thought about was him. The call she made broke her heart. How could they have left things so unraveled this morning. She was nervous to see him.
"Hi," she tapped him as he was lost in thought looking out at the city.
"Hey. Well it's official, I'm never gonna criticize your grilled cheese again."
"That was the hardest thing I ever had to do."
"What's that making the grilled cheese or single handedly saving the world from nuclear holocaust."
"Making that call to you." She took a deep breath. "How long are we gonna do this for?"
"I mean you're the one who wanted to stay in so why don't you tell me."
"I don't know,"
"That's great."
"I don't. I don't know."
"I can't go through what Sam went through. I mean honestly, I don't even know how that guy gets up in the morning. What are we doing?" He took a long pause. "You're everything for me. And um I hate feeling like this, because you're my world."
"You are mine." She put her arms around him and kissed him tenderly. "You're my world." They held each other on the roof for what seemed like an eternity. Neither one wanted to be the first to let go.
"I'm so sorry, can we never go to bed mad again?" He looked into her dampening brown eyes.
"I think we can do that," she said. "I'm sorry too."
"Let's go home baby." He took her hand and walked her to the garage.
"Can we leave my car here tonight?" She said realizing they had driven separately.
Deeks nodded not wanting to let her go. They made it to his truck, hands still entwined. He let her in the truck and squeezed her hand before letting go. He quickly got into the drivers side and regained his hold. They drove in silence, keeping their grip as tight as they could. When they arrived home, they repeated the same motions. He held her hand to the door. When they were secure inside she grabbed him tight again and broke down crying.
"Baby," her eyes filled with tears as she looked up at him. He brushed the hair from her face. She kissed him with all the passion and emotion she had in her. At that moment she was unsure of what she wanted. She knew they day was hard on both of them. A small part of her had wished she could just get pregnant right then, forcing her to chose to get out for the safety of their child, she knew that wasn't possible. She also knew she shouldn't make such a big decision in the heat of the moment. All she knew was that she needed him. She needed his touch, she needed to feel him next to her, inside of her, as close as he could be to her. Without another world, he took her upstairs. He slowly undressed her from her clothing. He kissed her lips, then her neck. She softly moaned. He undressed himself to mirror her. He cupped her face and stared into her eyes, still damp from the tears. "I love you so much. I can't imagine my life without you."
The tears began welting up again. He kissed her more tenderly. He laid her on the bed. He caressed her body, keeping his lips attached to her. He slid her up to the pillows. He kissed her down her body. His touch made her tingle. She loved the way he made her feel. His kissed her more passionately as he became anxious to please her.
"I love you so much Deeks, I'm sorry I'm not ready to get out." She tried to fight back tears.
"Shhhh, baby. We'll figure it out." He placed his lips on hers to silence her. His hands moved to her breast, softly rubbing his hands across them. They were both ready for more. He moved to be completely inside her. Feeling everything around him, he pushed a little harder and deeper, but still attempting to be gentle. His passion took over and he began to move more intense. She filled with pleasure as he moved faster. Soon they both became engulfed with the heat and love surrounding them. They moaned with ecstasy in unison. Calmness finally swept over Kensi, feeling the tension from the day lifting away from her body. Deeks continued to stay wrapped around her. Their eyes closed as they passed out from elation and exhaustion.
Mission by mission, Deeks was growing impatient to leave the dangerous life and start something new. The wedding planning was moving slowly, but coming along. They still hadn't set a day, but they had discussed some major parts Kensi desired.
"I really wish Granger was still with us," Kensi lamented one evening. They had been in a pawn shop and Deeks had admired a veil telling kensi she would look beautiful in it. Her desire to have Granger walk her down the aisle since her dad was gone, was crushed as they found out he had passed away.
"I miss him too, he helped me a lot while you were recovering from the crash in Syria."
"You never told me."
"I mean he just gave me a pep talk and wanted me to focus on you unless they needed me."
Kensi smiled.
"He loved you."
"He loved you too," she whispered back.
"Maybe," he chuckled, "in his Granger Danger way."
Deeks shared with Callen his growing desire to move on. Callen not wanting to lose his team tried to assure him they could find a way to make it work. Deeks was still uncertain. His new mission was to buy and restore a bar that they could all hang out at, and that soldiers who needed a place to hang their hats could go as well. He brought them all one night to his adventure. He hadn't officially told Kensi yet, so he felt like he needed protection from her.
"We have a bar," she said with a hint of nervousness and excitement. It would be a lot of work, so she knew it gave her some time, but it also made her realize that time was dwindling before she had to make a decision.
"Baby, are you sure you're ok with this? I'm sorry I didn't tell you."
"I guess you kind of did. I just didn't take you seriously."
"Ya," he ran his hands through his hair.
"You really want to get out don't you?"
"I think part of me will miss it, but the other part of me knows how amazing things could be with a little princess sunshine to raise."
"We agreed that would NOT be her name," she interrupted.
She thought about talking to him more about what the future held, but she didn't want to ruin his excitement. She considered talking to Hetty about getting Nate to come home for some sessions. She needed to work through some issues in order to give Deeks what he wanted.
She tried to think of something they could do together and she still feel like she fulfilled her life goals.
As they were getting ready for bed, Kensi began growing more nervous about the future.
"How long do you think it would take to have the bar up and running?"
"Hopefully less than a year, I mean if we stay in and have some time consuming missions it could be longer, but if we get out," he winked, "and put all our time into it, 9 months tops. We could have a little mutant assassin growing in here during that time," he rubbed her belly.
"Deeks."
"I'm just saying."
"I know." She sighed.
Her head spun all night. She couldn't sleep. She was anxious about Deeks growing desires. She loved her job, she loved working with her partner, her fiancé. As much as she could imagine her and Deeks raising their little mutant ninja assassins, she couldn't picture a job she loved as much. None of her near death missions had phased her recently, save when she had to enter the Silo, that shook her a bit, but she regained her composure to keep doing the job she did.
He could feel her toss and turn, but didn't know how to comfort her. He knew they were on different pages for the time being, but he had faith that after their wedding, they would be closer to the same page.
They started getting excited when they agreed to get Married on their beach in Malibu and have the reception right their as well. Things seemed to be falling more into place.
Then, Mosley's son had been found. The team was going to set off on an off the books mission to Mexico to bring him home to his mom. In the heat of the issues, Mosley fired Deeks. Deeks being ready and looking for signs pushed Kensi more.
"One last Mission and we're done"
"I'm not ready to do that yet."
Not being able to come to any sort of agreement on their future right then, Deeks' was hurt and devastated.
"I don't think we should be getting married."
Kensi was blind-sighted by this statement. "What you are saying to me, is if Indont leave my job, then you are leaving me."
Deeks attempted to defend what he was saying, but Kensi refused to give him the opportunity. She stormed off to save Mosley's son.
Deeks wasn't letting his team down or his partner, no matter what Mosley said. He made it before the plane took off.
"I'm still your partner, at least one last time."
