A/N: I think 9 months to update must be a record. If anyone's still interested in this story, I'll try not to let so much time go by before the next chapter.
Late Winter 2011
It was another normal night. Sometimes, Alicia got so wrapped up in the normalcy, she would forget that this wasn't the house in Highland Park, and that Peter wasn't the man that she had once thought he were.
Since he'd been out of prison, he'd been spending time with the children, which had gradually without any specific intention become time with the family.
Around 7:30 Julia's phone buzzed. That was her signal that Will was down in the car waiting for her. After the first two or three times that he'd come up to pick up Julia that Peter had answered the door, he prefered to wait for her in the car. He couldn't understand why Alicia wanted to reconcile with Peter, but Will felt it wasn't his business to interfere. She was a married woman. With all the many, many women he'd been involved with, he'd never gotten involved with a married woman. He wasn't going to be one to break up a marriage, ruin a family. Not that Peter hadn't already done that, but that was between Peter and Alicia now just like it was back in law school and all the years in between. If she ever decided to divorce him, then that would be a different story, but as long as she was married, she was off limits.
"Hey, Dad." Julia greated Will as she got in the car.
"Hey, Jules. Good day?" She seemed in a good mood.
"Yeah, and you?"
"Not bad."
After a few minutes of silently riding together. "How come you don't come up anymore?"
"Things are busy right now. Court, new clients. We're a bit short staffed. I've just got more work." He noticed she looked a little down. "Everything okay?"
"I just miss the way things were before…"
"Before what?"
"Before Mr. Florrick came back."
Will hesitated to respond, and then Julia continued. "I mean, I know he's Grace's dad and all, but I don't know, I just don't like him. He just seems so phony. I guess, it's a politician thing. Everything seems so normal after school, but once he shows up later on, everything feels different, even Alicia seems different when he's around, and not in a good way."
Will didn't really want to comment too much about Peter, but now he was concerned once she mentioned Alicia. If things weren't good between Alicia and Julia, he'd make other arrangements for her for after school. What, he wasn't sure, but he didn't want to Julia to stay in a situation that wasn't good for her. "If things aren't going well between you and Alicia, I could make you other arrangements for after school."
"No, I'm still okay with going there. Alicia's great. We're good."
"You just said she's different."
"She just doesn't seem like herself when he's around."
Every time Will buzzed Julia's phone instead of knocking on the door, Alicia would feel a sense of loss. Her mind would inevitably float to the many, many nights that it was Will here with her and the kids and not Peter. And that's when she would remember with full force that this was not the house in Highland Park and Peter was no onger the man she wanted to be sharing her life with.
Peter was doing relatively well in the polls and seemed to have a good shot at being re-elected State's Attorney if he ran in the next election. Since his name currently had more of a positive versus negative connotation, Louis Canning wanted to use that to his advantage. Alicia had been a bottom-of-the-totem pole associate, and he hadn't gone out of his way to advertise that the recently disgraced state's attorney's wife was working at his firm, but now that Peter was on a comeback, Canning felt it would be advantageous to promote Alicia as well as make it more known that she was an employee at his firm. When he secured a table at the Chicago Bar Association's Annual Dinner Gala, he made sure to factor in that two seats would go to Alicia and Peter.
Since Alicia wasn't going to tell Canning about the divorce, or anyone else at this point, so she had little wiggle room to get herself out of attending with Peter.
She hated these things. She hated that she was being invited because of Peter. She hated that she'd have to attend with Peter.
She debated a lot about what to wear, more than usual. She wanted to look good. She did not want Peter to think she was trying to impress him or for him to get any wrong ideas. She was restarting her career. She was making an appearance as herself, for herself, not, as far as she was concerned, as Peter Florrick's wife.
It was a formal affair. In the past, she had often chosen red. Peter would always comment how much he liked that color on her. Red was out, as were other looks that she generally chose to coordinate with Peter's preferences.
Tonight was black lace with a high neckline, long, tailored fit through the bodice and hips, and then flared out to an A-line cut for the bottom and a plunging backline. Elegant, dignified, refined combined with a little provocative.
Her hair was down, not up, again in contrast to Peter's preferences. It worked better with the dress. Her hair was currently just past her shoulders. She didn't want to overly highlight the backlessness of her dress. It would be her first time in the limelight other than press conferences and trials. She did not want to look dowdy. She wanted to make the impression she wanted to make. She doubted anyone would pick up on her color and style choices, but to her, her differing look left her feeling less like she was appearing as Peter's wife, even if she technically was appearing as Peter's wife. She felt like a different person now then she did on all of those previous occasions, and she felt, at least for herself, it was important to look different.
As she was putting on her finishing touches of makeup, her phone buzzed. Peter's driver was waiting downstairs for her. She quickly sent a text that she would be down in five minutes. She quickly gathered her things, put on her coat, and headed for the elevator.
Peter greeted her and quickly noticed her deviation from her usual hairstyle choices for such events.
"Your hair's down."
"It is."
"You usually wear it up for these type of events."
"I decided it was time for a change."
Peter wondered who she was changing for. He couldn't help it. Being with her and the kids together like things had been in the past had made him regret even more than he already had, his infidelity. Plus, something about Alicia had seemingly changed, and he found himself falling in love with her all over again. He hadn't voiced any of this to Alicia, but he was hoping that if things continued in the "right" direction, that she may realize that she can move past his transgressions and they could have a second chance.
When they arrived at the Gala, Peter helped her take her coat off, and as he did, he noticed the backline. The dress fit her perfectly in all the right places, and it had been about two years since he'd seen this much of her bare skin. He noted it was a marked difference in style and color from the dresses she normally wore, but this was...well, it was having an effect on Peter that Alicia had not intended.
As they walked in and began to mingle, Will spotted her from across the room. He knew she'd be there, how could he not when Grace was sleeping over with Julia, supervised by his sister Aubrey, who was in town visiting. (Zach was with one of his friends for the night. Even though they were teens already, Alicia preferred, that they not stay alone considering she'd likely be out very, very late. Even though she generally frowned on weeknight sleepovers, Owen had other plans, her mother was out of town, and really, they were too old for a babysitter.)
Alicia hadn't discussed it with Will, but she knew he'd be there as well. Aside from being a named partner at one of Chicago's largest firms, their daughters were best friends. She knew it was wrong and that she shouldn't have been thinking it, but she was thinking of him when she was preparing for the Gala. Even now that she was here, a little voice in the back of her mind that she tried unsuccessfully to quiet kept wondering where he was and what he would think of her in this dress.
The Lockhart/Gardner and Canning tables were on opposite sides of the room, so their paths hadn't crossed as shortly after Peter and Alicia arrived it was time to be seated for the opening speech.
At some point into the evening, Alicia felt the need for a drink stronger than the wine and champagne on the table, but was hesitant to ask the waiter to bring her something for all of her coworkers and Peter to witness.
She excused herself from the table and made her way to the bar, where she asked for a shot of tequila.
Someone came up next to her, "I did not know you drank tequila?"
She turned to face him. "I haven't seen you in a while."
"Yeah." He shrugged. "Life's been busy."
The bartender brought her the tequila and he asked for a scotch.
"Thanks for letting Grace sleepover."
"Don't thank me. Thank Aubrey."
"How long is she here for?"
"I don't know. A few weeks. I don't think she knows either."
"Well, Julia's crazy about her."
"Yeah, she's crazy about Jules too."
There was a live band, which shifted into a new song, all instrumental.
"Wait, wait, is it...it is, the song from that movie...second year…"
"The Bodyguard?" Alicia answered. He remembered. How could he not. She watched that movie way too many times.
"How many times did you watch that?"
"Too many. It wasn't such a great movie either, was it?"
"No, but you didn't seem to notice."
She thought back, laughing a bit at herself. "No, I guess, I didn't.
He finished his scotch, and not really thinking much about it, he asked, "May I have this dance?"
Equally, not thinking much (or overthinking rather) she accepted, "Sure."
From his seat at Canning's table, Peter noticed the two familiar figures waltzing across the room as his stomach tightened in knots. Ever the polished politician, he appeared calm, cool, and collected. No one would have suspected the rage he felt within as he watched Will put his arm around Alicia. He watched as they danced. He watched as Will whispered something in her ear. He watched as she laughed in response. He noticed how she looked happy.
"So where's your date?"
"My date?"
"Yeah, your date. You didn't come alone did you?"
"Actually, I did."
"Will Gardner going stag?"
"Life's been busy. Didn't have time to think about who to invite." Partial truth, partial lie.
"I didn't think you had to put in much effort to get a date."
"Is that so?"
"It is as I recall."
"Eh, women like me until they get to know the real me."
"The real you?" She raises a inquisitive brow.
"Yeah."
"Which is? Oh, come on. Spill it."
"Uncontrolled bladder syndrome."
She burst into laughter.
Eli was also at the gala and approached Peter, feathers ruffled.
"Peter."
"Yes, Eli."
"What is your wife doing?"
"She appears to be dancing."
"Yes, I can see that, and so can everyone else here. I've already gotten a text from a low-life tabloid writer to comment on this picture. Do you see this?" He showed Peter his phone with the picture of Will and Alicia dancing, which must have been taken moments earlier, sent to his phone with the caption, "Wife of disgraced state's attorney with one of Chicago's top bachelors."
"They're old friends, Eli. Just tell whoever it is that they're old friends. Friends dance, they laugh."
As the next song began, Diane tapped Will on the shoulder. She had some business matters to discuss with him.
"May I cut in?"
Alicia departed and left the two partners to their business.
"Well, you two looked cozy."
"Diane, we're friends. That's all."
"A friend who's married to a high-profile man." She raised a concerned brow. She knew Will, and she was concerned after watching them dancing together. She'd seen them together many times in court or at Lockhart/Gardner's offices. She knew Alicia was helping him with Julia, and she never suspected they were anything but business acquaintances/friends, but now, she was beginning to suspect there was more beneath the surface.
"Diane, I'm dancing with you, and you're also married." Diane switched to the business she'd actually intended to discuss with him when she cut in.
Alicia made her way back to Canning's table.
"Good evening, Eli."
"Alicia, what are you doing?"
Peter cut in, "Eli, enough."
"Peter, this kind of thing can ruin your campaign."
"What 'thing' are we talking about?"
"Your dancing with Will Gardner. The tabloids already have pictures."
"Eli, that's what people do at a Gala, they dance."
Not wanting to be part of Eli's hysteria over any and everything, Alicia found her seat at the table. Peter joined her, and Eli went off to do damage control.
Speaking quietly and to one another veiled behind smiles and you-never-know-when-the-camera-is-looking facial expressions:
"You two did look rather, friendly."
"Well, Peter, maybe that's because we're friends."
"It looked like more than that."
"Peter, I was dancing, in public with a friend. I've done nothing wrong, which is more than you can say."
"Alicia, that has nothing to do with" -
"The hell it doesn't. It has everything to do with - you know what, we're not going to get into this now."
He realized she was right. They shouldn't be discussing this now.
The tension between her and Peter continued to grow, especially after Canning commented on the dynamic between Will and Alicia as opposing counsel as well as how well they work as a team and joked how he's always a little worried Lockhart/Gardner will steal her away.
Near the end of the evening, Alicia excused herself to the ladies room.
Peter was waiting for her a little down the hall closer to the men's room intending to suggest they leave when she exited.
While he was waiting, Will exited from the men's room and walked past Peter on his way back into the ballroom.
"Will."
"Peter."
"We're still married."
"Do you have a point?"
"Stay away from her."
"I have been."
"Ha, you call that spectacle on the dance floor staying away?"
"Spectacle? That was dancing, no different than anyone else here tonight."
"Don't think I don't know what you're up to. All that time you were spending with Alicia and the kids while I was in prison. Well, guess, what, I'm back now, and you're not going to -
"Whoa, Peter, I don't know what you think was going on, but it was nothing like you're making it out to be."
"And you expect me to believe that?"
"I really don't care what you believe. I know the truth. Alicia knows the truth. What you do or don't believe is your problem."
"No, you're my problem. You know, the tabloids already have pictures of you two dancing together and working up story to go with them."
"Well, sooner or later, they'll realize it's not true because it's not, unlike the stories reported about you two years ago."
"Not everything was true."
"Enough of it was."
"I've repented."
"Ha, like a leopard changes his spots. You haven't changed one bit since law school. You were cheating on her back then and probably ever since. Meanwhile, she's been nothing but completely faithful to you, but you suspect her of cheating nonetheless."
"I don't suspect her. I suspect you. You were were pining over her in law school, and you still are. And your reputation with women hasn't changed much since then either."
"I don't sleep with married women, Peter."
"Just as long as you don't forget that."
"Maybe those words are better directed at yourself. I may have avoided commitment, but I never pretended to be committed when I never really was. You played the role of the guy who wants a relationship, when you wanted to have your cake and eat it too. Whenever you were out without Alicia, interesting how you were always with some other woman, and ever since I've been in Chicago, interesting rumors I've heard about you and various staff at the state's attorney's office. The only difference is you were never actually caught with any of them the way you were with the prostitutes."
"Well, if I'm so horrible, and you're so righteous, why is it that you've never said anything to Alicia, tried to save her from me?"
"Because she was in love with you. I didn't want to be the one to ruin that when there was no way to prove it. Now, that at least some indiscretions of yours have been been proved, if she wants you, that's her choice. You certainly don't deserve her."
"And you do?"
"Will, there you are. I've been looking for you." Diane came walking towards the two. Will took the opportunity to end his encounter with Peter. "Have a good night, Peter" He headed off with Diane, and then after a few steps, he turned took a few step or two back in Peter's direction and added. "Have you ever heard the saying, if you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it's yours. If not, it was never meant to be. You're holding on tight Peter. If she's truly yours, you wouldn't be so afraid of letting go a little."
When Alicia had exited the ladies room, she had seen Peter stop Will. She had stood around the corner so they wouldn't see her, while she overheard the entire conversation.
She waited a minute, continuing to fidget with her phone, which she had been doing to give appearance she had been involved in texting or emailing, before heading towards Peter.
When he saw her walking over, "Hey, I was thinking of calling it a night. Are you ready to leave?"
She was, in more ways than one.
She had difficulty falling asleep. She couldn't believe Peter had had the gaul to suggest that he come up when his driver drove up in front of her building. He knew both kids were out. What was he thinking? She knew what he must have been thinking, but she didn't understand how he could have thought that would happen. And after everything else that had happened that evening, even if he still didn't know she'd overheard his conversation or confrontation with Will. She was still fuming. She didn't know what angered her more, that Peter insinuated there was anything illicit going on between her and Will or that when Will brought up his supposed past infidelities, he did nothing to try to deny it. Had he really been fooling her since law school?
She wasn't going to wallow. She'd spent many months in a very miserable state when the scandal first broke, she wasn't going back there. She was done crying. She was done feeling like a fool who, while clearly half of Chicago knew her husband was cheating on her, sat at home keeping his dinner warm, stupidly accepting his excuses of having a lot of work to finish up before he could come home. She was done with Peter.
