To the Morrow, For the Past

Chapter 26 – His Last Mission

There was something important. Something he was supposed to do. Something he was supposed to think. But how could anything be important? Nothing really mattered here. Everything was so tranquil. There was no pain. No fear. Nothing bad ever happened here. There was only warmth. Peace. Safety. Love.

Love.

That was part of it. Wasn't it? Love. He was supposed to love someone. Wasn't he? He was supposed to use that. But how? His thoughts were fleeting, hard to grasp. But it didn't matter. He was adrift in a sea of serenity, warm and content.

But there was something missing. He was alone. All alone. Was he alone before? No. Who was he with? Someone important? Someone important.

Silver hair? Brown eyes? Green? Both?

Fractured memories came to him, one at a time. Small things. The sunset on the plate. A stuffed chocobo. The giggles of an toddler. Song.

Who was singing?

A voice. He could hear a voice. Snippets of words that didn't make sense. Just sounds. But the voice... The voice. Was that important?

It sang to him, lulling him. But that wasn't right. He wasn't supposed to sleep yet, was he? There was... it was important... It had been his last thought.

His last? Wasn't he thinking now? But did this count? Was he dead?

Yes. He remembered. The face above him, the arms around him. He was important. Both were. Both the silver haired, green eyed people. One small, one tall.

More memories came to him. Joy. Meeting a lost friend in the church. Holding a young man to his chest. Lunch with two people. One with dark hair, one with hidden hair. Love. A small face looking up at him, a wide smile. A boy screaming in joy as the chocobo moved below them. A tender smile under the stars. An arm slung over his shoulder. Coffee. Family.

He had a family. It wasn't traditional but it was his.

Was he supposed to find them here? They should be here. He'd lost them, hadn't he?

Their names came to him. He tried to find them.

Tifa.

Vincent.

Barret.

Yuffie.

Cid.

Reeve.

Nanaki.

Aerith.

Zack.

More emotions. Sorrow. Fear. Pain. Despair. Those people. They were gone. They weren't here. They weren't anywhere. There was nobody waiting for him. Not here.

Not here.

Out there? Who was waiting? The silver haired men?

Zeke. Zeke. Zack. His son? His little boy. Lost. Alone. No. Not alone. Zack. Zack would take care of his son. Zack would protect him. Love him. Raise him. Teach him. Zeke would be safe with Zack. With Zack and Sephiroth.

Sephiroth. That was the other silver haired man. Wasn't it?

Zeke and Sephiroth. They were important. They would bring him home.

Home.

Where was home? The bar with the dark haired woman? The apartment with the man and the child? The church in the slums? Was he supposed to go back there? But how?

Again, the faces came to him, to his mind. Clearer than before. He remembered the last thing he saw. Fear. Pain. Sorrow. Heartbreak. Green eyes wide and afraid. Silver hair falling over them. His name repeated desperately on those lips.

Such pain. Had he caused that? Had he made that beautiful face show such sorrow?

"They have to want to come back so completely that it all but consumes them."

There was that voice again. Speaking to him. Had she always spoken to him? No. That was a memory. An important one. Why was it so important.

"If their will to return is strong enough." Again. Those words. They were important. But he didn't know why.

"His soul called to yours."

"Found you. Used you as an anchor."

Was she telling him how to go home? He didn't understand. Did he want to go home? To leave this place of tranquillity?

"Use the connection to find each other, protect each other."

He was supposed to protect someone. Did it matter if he wanted to stay? There was somebody that needed him. That he was supposed to protect. Was it the boy? The man? Both?

Both.

They both needed him.

Memories came to him. Flooding him. Battering his mind. It was overwhelming. All at once. He remembered. Remembered everything. Who he was. Why he needed to go home. The voices came, all at once, crashing over each other as they fell through his mind.

"You. Are. Awesome!" "Good. I enjoy a challenge." "One day, you will tell me your story." "You sat in a mako pool!?" "It is fortunate, that we have been given orders to shadow you." "Unfortunate for you, your friends care for you." "So I think Sephiroth really does want to be your friend." "You seem to have awakened my sexuality." "Midgar full of flowers, pocket full of money! Everybody wins!" "Are you a time traveller?" "WHY DIDN'T YOU WARN ME?" "She can't hear you." "Hi dad." "If it comes down to it... I'll back you up... Okay?" "Are you safe from Hojo?" "Didn't I already tell you you were forgiven?" "Soul mates." "Shinra was experimenting on children!?" "We came to look for you, silly." "Dad!" "You're worried that you'll always see me as a monster?" "Tell me again, that you're not dating Sephiroth." "That was Rufus's dad? He's not very pretty." "So what's it like to be a hero?" "Technically you did kidnap me." "That's it. No more shopping!"

"Why did you stay?"

He had lied. He stayed for them. For Zack. For Sephiroth. For Zeke.

Nexis.

That word meant something important. Something he could use. He could go home.

He could go home.

– – – – – – – – –

In the months following Cloud's death, Sephiroth had slowly recovered. At first, he'd simply refused to leave Cloud's apartment, choosing instead to spend his time silently sitting beside Zeke, mindlessly watching whatever the boy had put on the television. Eventually, he started to reply to Zack when he spoke, and even began to eat again.

Zeke wasn't much better. He would curl up on the couch beside Sephiroth, clutching his stuffed chocobo to his chest. They both looked numb and Zack's heart broke for them every day.

It had taken four months for either of them to be anywhere near the people they'd been before. Sephiroth was finally feeling ready to move back into his own apartment, but had assured Zack that he and Zeke could stay where they were.

The issue of Zeke's future had been settled easily. Sephiroth had insisted that he was now the boys legal guardian, but he was happy for Zack to help out with whatever was needed. They had essentially decided that they would both do everything they could to take care of the child.

After six months, Zack saw a noticeable improvement in the pair. They could now have conversations about Cloud without them clamming up or leaving, and Zack found himself relieved that they were finally healing. They even threw a birthday party for Zeke. They all wished Cloud could be there, but for the first time, that thought didn't dampen their spirits.

– – – – – – – –

They had a new routine now. When not on missions, Sephiroth would take Zeke for a few hours in the morning, taking him through training drills. In the afternoons, Zack had arranged for a tutor to teach Zeke in a verity of subjects. The boy hadn't been very happy with suddenly having lessons and homework, but Zack had insisted. Zeke was still a child, after all. To no-ones surprise, he excelled in anything he put his mind to and quickly began to study the harder subjects that made Zack's head spin. Sephiroth seemed to understand them though, and he helped the boy with the harder parts, seeming to relax into it.

It was all very domestic.

One day, Zack headed to the training room to collect Zeke for his lessons and decided to watch the end of their training. That was the first time he saw the boy using Cloud's sword. He was experimenting with the multiple blades and learning new techniques. Sephiroth was apparently a patient teacher and Zack wondered why he'd never taken on a Third.

"Hey Zack." Zeke greeted him without turning around. That was another thing that Sephiroth was apparently teaching the boy – how to use his senses for maximum effect – and he'd started to recognise people before seeing them. Zack wasn't sure how.

"I learned a new trick!" The boy told him excitedly. "Watch!" With a flurry of movement he released several of the smaller blades and threw them with scary accuracy. It reminded him of something Cloud had once told him.

"Let me guess, you've been learning how to throw knives since you were three months old?" He asked, a sad smile on his face.

Zeke gave him a confused look and shook his head, "Since I was three..." He told him. "But Da..." He faltered a moment before smiling again, "Da said that Yuffie kept trying to give me weapons before I could even walk."

It was then that Zack realised just how much the boy had lost. Cloud had been the only person from his timeline – not counting Aerith who had been dead before Zeke was born – and now he had practically no link left to his family.

"Hey Zeke..." Zack said, sadness seeping into his voice, "Can I get a hug?"

It was now a small ritual for them. Zack had started asking for hugs a few weeks after Cloud left, and the boy always obliged. Sometimes he asked for himself, but most of the time, he asked because he knew that Zeke wouldn't.

"Sure." The boy put his sword back on the magnet on his back and came over, wrapping his arms around his friend and holding him close. Neither of them complained if their hugs were a little too tight, or if they lasted a little too long. Both of them needed them.

– – – – – – – –

"I'm going to finish Cloud's mission." The words came out of nowhere. Sephiroth was sitting on his couch again, Zeke curled up next to him. Zack wasn't sure if the words were meant for him or not, but he joined them in the lounge anyway.

"We took care of Jenova." Zack reminded him, "And we can't know if the others will follow her until they either do or don't."

Sephiroth nodded, "I'm speaking of his other mission." His voice was quiet, low. This was obviously something that Sephiroth had been thinking about for a while. "I'm going to bring down Shinra."

Well that was unexpected. Zack frowned slightly and moved to sit on the arm of the couch, regarding Sephiroth. "Are you sure?" He asked. Shinra had raised him. Given him almost everything he had. If Sephiroth defected, he would have nothing.

Except them. There was no question about it, Zack would follow Sephiroth if he left, and so would Zeke. As much as Zack would argue against it, he knew for certain that Aerith would also be on-board.

Sephiroth nodded. "Mako energy is taking life from the planet." He paused for a moment, "If we don't stop it... Then the planet will die. And the lifestream..." He shook his head, a dark, determined look on his face. "The only way I will see Cloud again is in the lifestream. I want to make sure it's there when I-"

"Seph..." Zack's hand was suddenly on the man's shoulder and Sephiroth leaned into it a little. The look of loss on the man's face gave Zack the determination he needed. "Right. First, we'll need a plan. I don't think Cloud's was working."

"Did he tell you what it was?"

Zack shook his head and gave a small smile at the memory of a grumpy newly minted First Class Cloud. "Nope. But apparently he spent a few years blowing up reactors... He told me Shinra fell when a Meteor fell on it."

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that."

– – – – – – – –

Their plan was simple. It would take a long time and a lot of work, but it was doable. First, they had to slowly recruit people they trusted. The more people they could get on their side the better. They started with Kunsel, testing the waters before finally managing to recruit him. It took them months, but eventually the man had joined them.

– – – – – – – –

Things were coming along with the resistance. Each member had one contact person. They didn't know who else was involved unless they had recruited them. There were only three people who knew how high up it went. The only way they would be found out is if Kunsel betrayed them, and Zack trusted Kunsel.

Even Aerith had recruited. People below the plate were more than happy with the idea of Shinra falling. They had more reason than most to want to bring them down. Long ago, before Shinra, the slums had been a town of prosperity. Now, they were poverty stricken, sick, dying, starving. They were the forgotten.

Cloud had been dead for ten months, but his legacy was just beginning. They would bring Shinra down, and they would do it for him. For his son. They had given the movement a name. STRIFE.

But it was still a secret. Anybody in the room could be a member, but nobody would know it, not even Zack and Sephiroth. Nobody talked about it, nobody wanted the higher ups to hear about it. For most people, they assumed the remaining Firsts to be the higher ups.

Gathering members wasn't all they were doing. They'd managed to get their hands on the blueprints for the Shinra building, for the reactors. They'd pulled together shipping manifests and timetables. They'd recruited train drivers and delivery people. They were slowly infiltrating every corner of Shinra. And their plan to take it down, it involved no bloodshed.

If all went well, nobody would die.

– – – – – – –

There were still days when it hurt. His heart felt like it was wounded, raw, bleeding. The pain would hit him when he was alone, with nobody to turn to. He would lay in bed staring at the small picture on his night stand. Cloud looked back at him, a grumpy expression on his face as Zack had put his arms around his shoulders again. Zack was laughing and Sephiroth had his face in his palm. It was the only photo they had of all three of them. One of the only photographs he had of Cloud.

Sephiroth felt tears gathering in his eyes as he reached out, a finger gently stroking that grumpy face. "I love you." He would only let himself say those words when alone, and only in a tiny, whispered voice. He had never said them to another person. Not ever. And now the one person he wanted so desperately to say them to couldn't hear him.

He closed his eyes, turned over and tried to sleep.

– – – – – – –

They gathered in the church. Aerith had been delighted to have their company and had been generous with her smiles. Zack and Zeke had taken turns to throw their arms around her. Sephiroth felt a little like an outsider until Aerith had marched up to him and pulled him into a firm embrace. When she pulled back, she took his hand and dragged him over to join the others.

Was this what it was like to have a family?

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Aerith asked Zeke. The boy nodded and stepped around the flowerbed. He stopped on the other side of the flowers, standing on the raised platform. With one decisive move, he drew Cloud's sword and pierced the ground. He stepped back and the sword stood in place.

"What made you think to leave it here?" Sephiroth asked quietly.

"This is where we put Zack's sword." Zeke replied, still looking at his father's sword. "After Advent Day, dad brought it here. He said it was because this place was connected to two people he loved, and who loved each other." His steps were slow as he walked away, slow but steady. He rejoined his friends.

"This place was important to him." Zack said, looking at the lopsided blade. "I think... it's right." He nodded, "Yeah. This is where it should be."

– – – – – – – –

Jenova's people were still coming. Their lure hadn't worked. They were on their way. Already, they were beginning to appear in the night sky, looking like larger, brighter stars. They had no plan. It had been so long since they'd sent Jenova into space, they'd thought it was over.

"We need a plan." Zack was stating the obvious again, but Sephiroth wasn't going to argue with him.

"What about Holy?" Zeke turned to Aerith. She shook her head, a sad look on her face.

"Holy is a last resort." She said softly, "It... It consumes the soul of the caster. If the spell is completed..." She shook her head again, "Whoever summoned it can never return to the planet."

"Dead beyond dead?"

Sephiroth was still trying to wrap his head around the lifestream. He understood the basics, and had even begun to hear a faint sound, almost like singing. Since Jenova had been sent away, the sound had been getting louder – but only when he was in the church – it was oddly soothing. Aerith had told him that that was the planet. The voices of those that had passed.

He could never pick out just one voice. But he had tried.

But the idea that somebody could die and not return to the planet had never crossed his mind. Would that mean that they were just ...gone? That they could never be reunited with their loved ones, or be born anew?

"But..." Zeke had a confused look on his face as he regarded Aerith. "You used Holy..."

Aerith shook her head, "No. I started to summon Holy." She corrected him, her eyes glancing at Sephiroth for a second. "I was interrupted before I could finish it..."

"And that saved you from... being absorbed?" Zeke asked and Aerith nodded, "But anybody who finishes the spell, will... their soul will..."

"Be consumed." She confirmed.

"That sounds... horrible." Sephiroth's voice was quiet, appalled. It did sound horrible. Not for the person who died. No. They wouldn't know any better, they wouldn't feel any more. No. It was the people they left behind that would suffer. The people that would never again see them. Hear them.

No. That wasn't a nice thought. The only thing keeping Sephiroth going had been the thought of seeing Cloud again in the afterlife.

"So we need another plan then." Zack was speaking again, and Sephiroth forced himself to listen.

"How long do we have?" Zeke was still asking the right questions. The boy always had.

"Months." Aerith's reply sent the room into silence. They didn't have long. They needed to think of something, and fast.

– – – – – – –