Hey guys! Sorry it has been so long, I have a lot going on and I needed a mental break this summer. To be honest, I had lost my passion for writing and it seemed like yet another thing I needed to complete in a week. And I needed that break to get my passion back. To those of you that continue to support my stories despite the break, Thank you!


Her mind was shaking, she couldn't think but she could hear everything. Every single thought. It rolled through her mind. Her skull was twisting around and around to the point where there was nothing but an unhappy numbness. It sunk to her heart, draining through her throat to the very middle of where her emotions lay, soaking like a crimson sponge as her happiness and sadness and regret and anger all flew away from her body. She couldn't feel anything. And the pain that once kept her sane was long gone. She felt so calm, so at ease, so normal as she held the sharpened knife like a familiar friend, raising her arm over and over again. All she could sense was him watching. His charming smile as he urged her forward with the smallest glint in his eye. He didn't say anything but he didn't have to. Because just his presence made her unravel like a perfectly knitted sweater falling into pieces. His mind wove with hers, poisoning her thoughts, filling her lungs with air and emptying his glee into her darkened heart. Every stab caused friction within her skull sending waves of satisfaction through her soul. He introduced her to a new feeling, a new person that could give her a feeling of floating ecstasy. She wasn't on earth. She was greater than earth. She was stronger than earth. She was a god. She decided who survived. She decided who would be punished and where and in what way. No one would ever wrong her. No one could ever understand her except for him. She was too complex. They were too complex. No longer was she a single human, she felt like so much more. They were one. He made her stronger, and she had become a queen of something better. She was better. These games were so simple, because she always won. Always.

She lifted the blade, looking through the crimson liquid splattered across it as she stared back at her perfect self. A chilling laugh echoing around the roof as she felt his hand grace across her back in congratulations. He held her close. Turning her around swiftly and helping her to her feet, meeting his lips with her own. His lips were always warm, so warm, and they tasted like gunsmoke and blood. He was so enticing. Like a drug. And she loved him so much. So, so much.

And just like that, the blade dropped, splattering crimson paint as it twirled against the tiled floor. Her mind had shattered. Completely shattered. Nothing mattered and nothing ever would. Life was worth living. All because of him. Her sweetie. Her king. Him.


My body was shaking as I awoke with a jolt. A warm river of tears streaming down my face as I stared at absolutely nothing. Gasping for air as I sobbed for the first time in a long time. I was so scared. So frightened. I hadn't had nightmares like that in a very long time since Mycroft had given me a therapist. I thought I had gotten better. I thought that this fight that I had had with myself for years had finally gone. But it hadn't, and I felt so stupid for assuming that it would. For assuming that I could actually be somewhat normal for once. I would never be a normal person all because of who I once was. I was a monster. A psychopath. My therapist called it some fancy name … a disconnect in my brain. But I just called it evil. So evil.

I stood up from my bed, urging my body forward as I walked closer to the floorboard that was uneven. I knelt down and with a single yank, I urged the board off the ground, reaching my hand down to grasp the bottle in my cracking knuckles. My brain conflicted as I held it tightly against my chest. I needed to sleep. I needed to. But the nightmare would just repeat itself like every other time I've had it if I don't take anything. I needed help. And there was no way I could go to John like I did when we were children. I didn't deserve his help, not with this. I was too much of a monster to go crawling to him and beg him to shield me from the past that was completely my fault. I had to do this for myself. I needed this pill. Just one. Besides, I hadn't had too many of them today … and, I had been away from them for a pretty long time, being kidnapped for a case and all. It helped. It never hindered.

I unscrewed the cap, popping a pill into my mouth and closing it yet again, tossing it back into the hidden compartment. A stream of drowsiness overwhelming my body as the experimental drug flew through my body. I closed the hidden compartment back up, my eyes overwhelmed with tiredness yet again as they slowly began dropping shut, only one single thought on my mind as my body fell slowly against the cold wooden floor: Something must be coming.