"I don't think you can ever realize how much a little thing can hurt me."

(Y/n) says with pain.

Today in English, the students were told to write a poem about an emotion they're unfamiliar with and make it seem that, that emotion is something they're an expert about. (Y/n) has dealt with a lot of feelings in his time, so thinking of one was hard.

"I can't believe it got to the point where I can finally say I'm used to it."

He decided to write about unrequited love. He understood the concept. Most of his friends been through it. But not him.

"You don't know how hard it is to pretend I don't love you."

Aside from the fact he had his crushes like him back, he hardly found someone to like. Let alone, love. What was the point of love? It was horrible. It hurt. The more you love, the more you're setting yourself uo for heartbreak.

"I wish I can stopwasting my time thinking about you."

Recently though, he's been really confused about someone else's feelings for him. (Y/n) thinks that...Lavernius might like him. He doesn't know if it's because he's noticing every small bit of attention he's recieving from Lavernius. Or if it's because he's so self involed he thinks everyone likes him.

"Sometimes Ithink that I actually mean something to you, when I really don't."

And don't get him wrong, (Y/n)'s not homophobic, and he doesn't care if his friends are gay. But he's scared of breaking his best friends heart. The man means everything to the (blond/brunette/redhead). But not the same way Lavernius feels for (Y/n).

"But your forever's are just too different than my own."

He could try andlearn to like him back. But he would just be lying to himself and his best friend. He wasn't going to pity date him, either. Hehad too much respect for the brunette. But he doesn't know whatto do.

"We have different ideals. We...are different."

After class, Lavernius pull (Y/n) aside.

"You know, don't you?"

(Y/n) stared, "I...yeah, I do."

"And," Lavernius gives a nervous chuckle, "That poem...it was your way of turning me down, right?

(Y/n) frowned, "I...I just...I'm no-"

"-Don't. Okay?" Lavernius cuts him off, "Just...don't."

"I did-I didn't mean anything by it! It meant-"

"-What? It meant nothing?" Lavernius growls.

(Y/n) stayed quiet. Tooscared to fuck this up anymore.

"God," Lavernius scoffs, "Thatalmost makes it worse! Does anything ever mean anything to you?"

"I'm sorry! I'm sor-" (Y/n) tries again but Lavernius is having noneof it.

"Don't apologize. Then I'll just feel worse for jot forgiving you..."

They're both quiet for a while.

"You're someone I can't live without, but you're also holding me back,"

Lavernius says, raking his hand through his soft hair.

"I want to stay friends. But please," (Y/n) pauses, "Don't change on me."

Lavernius chuckles,"It's funny, when you're absent, I'm the first to notice."

He places a hand on (Y/n)'s mop of (h/c) hair. They both smile.

"But you wouldn't even notice if I were to disappear forver..."