Ah! It's been a while. I want to make the excuse that I was having summertime fun, but that isn't the complete truth. Transition chapters are a bit difficult for me. Sometimes it's hard to connect A to C. I got hung up on the B! But, I'm back on track and hopefully I wont have such a big writing gap. Thanks for all your support!
17 Months
Chapter 16: A Lapse In Momentum
Week 25
Photographic scenes of the past flash before Grimmjow's eyes. He sees the white-haired man walking the dog in the park. He sees the man with the riding cap and wire glasses across the street from Ichigo's home. He sees numerous men dressed in business attire, work uniforms, and college prep sitting across the street from the school at the bus stop. He sees blonde hair, brown hair, black hair, long hair, short hair, glasses, no glasses, scars, tattoos, jewelry, sometimes a prosthetic nose or extra facial hair, but every time - it's that habitual roll of his cigarette between his index finger and thumb, same pull from the filter, same flick of ashes to the side.
Goddamned, fuckin' fuzzy human senses! Grimmjow screams to himself. Why couldn't he have picked up on this sooner? The ex-Espada feels a hand upon him, and brings into view a set of troubled, amber flecked eyes. Grimmjow replaces his catatonic gaze with one filled with utter regret. He should have seen. He should have sensed this predator in their midst. He's never cared more for anyone or anything in his entire hollow existence as he does his orange-haired lover...his mate-the one he has decided to spend the rest of his life and change his entire existence for- and he already has failed him so deeply.
These new emotions overwhelm Grimmjow. He's never felt the sting of true helplessness and remorse as a hollow. He was happy to perish during battle because he knew he was using all the effort afforded to him in his supernatural form. Now, all he can do is run through his aching brain all the times he could have been better.
Trembling hands clasp the bluenette's face and Ichigo pleads concern, "What are you doing? Tell me what's wrong!"
Then...Grimmjow remembers staring extra long at those unknown figures, not quite understanding the feeling coming from those encounters. He finally understands - it was an underlying look of superiority the stalking menace gave him - and Grimmjow shuts down. Inundated with such foreign emotions on top of rage, his anguished features turn stone silent. He slips past Ichigo, ignoring him for the steamy mist of the showerhead. Ichigo is left standing in the middle of the room dumbfounded.
Ichigo's never faced an expressionless Grimmjow before. He stands there, watching his older companion wash up quickly. Unsure how to handle the situation, but wanting to move past the awkwardness, Ichigo tries to comfort his distant lover. He gets behind Grimmjow and starts to caress his back. Grimmjow stiffens and shrugs away from the touch. The bluenette stares forward going through the motions of washing robotically, steps out of the water, grabs a towel on the hook and wraps it around his waist without drying off, not once looking up to his still orangette and opens the bathroom door.
Grimmjow stops short, "Wash up and go home," he monotones with his back to Ichigo before he closes the door behind him, leaving the young man alone, and walks away to finish dressing in his room. He can't face his orange-haired warrior. Experiencing this level of inferiority and mocking has left him beyond comprehension. His inner world is dark and the screaming in his head is to the point of madness. He needs to leave, to go and find the man who threatens his existence and the health of his mate. He will not rest until that man is wiped off the face of this planet and unable to harm the people he holds dear. He hears his door open but he doesn't turn around. There's commotion coming from the hallway but then he finally comprehends some words.
"Ichigo. Would you let me speak to my dear ward for a moment, please? Thank you. I will be but a moment."
Grimmjow hears the door click behind him but keeps drying off, unable to give acknowledgement to the presence.
Urahara talks to the overwhelmed man's back calmly, "Grimmjow, your pulse rate is very high. Your stress and reiatsu levels are extremely high, also. I fear if this keeps up, you may do damage to your gigai. We do not want you leaving this plane of existence prematurely. We would indeed be very saddened by your departure, especially Kurosaki-kun. He is extremely worried for you. Could you please tell me what has gotten you so agitated? ...Is it something Kurosaki-kun said or did?"
"No! Of course not!" Grimmjow snaps back viciously over his shoulder.
"No, I was not expecting that to be true. I merely needed for you to acknowledge my presence. I am here to help you Grimmjow, we all are. Let us have a seat and talk calmly of this matter, shall we?" Urahara motions for Grimmjow to sit on his bed as he paces calmly to the desk chair across from it.
"Can't sit. I need to go...need to take care of this bastard before it's too late." Grimmjow slides on a pair of black briefs, then white low-rise athletic pants with black stripes running down the sides. In the back of the closet, he finds the fitted baseball jacket he bought on his first shopping spree- white with a black collar and black cuffs. He pulls it on along with a white knit skull cap with a black stripped edge.
"Do you realize what you are wearing, young man?" Urahara asks with a soothing, therapist-like tone.
"Well I can't very well put on a fuckin' uniform that exists in a different dimension, now can I?" Grimmjow grumbles as he puts on a pair of white ankle socks.
Urahara keeps his calm demeanor, "You are no longer a soldier in Aizen's army. You do not have to revert to old ways of dealing with threatening situations. You have people here who care for you and are willing to stand by your side, with you, without ulterior motives or deceptive intent-"
"They already stood beside me! Right beside me when this man was right in front of us! No one sensed him! No one realized what he was! He's looked me right in the eye with his hidden smugness time and time again and pretended he was nobody!"
"Grimmjow, you all have encountered this individual up close?"
"Yes! I know it's him; it's got to be! He disguises himself every time, different hair, different clothes and accessories. Different demeanor even, like he becomes a completely different person, though, most of the time he takes out a cigarette to play with. That's what gave him away, finally." He describes the numerous times he's seen the stalker, talked to him even. Grimmjow is pacing the room now, gesturing the way the stalker does with the smoke in his hand, then he flips the hat off his head and runs his fingers through his still wet hair, "I can't believe I didn't see it sooner! This fucking body," he slams his fist against his bare chest, "didn't sense the same person in front of me! He was right there and I didn't do a damned thing!"
"Maybe it is more complicated than it appears to be." Urahara scratches the whiskers on his chin, contemplating the information, "The others have known for some weeks now that an individual has been watching our group. They have been surveying the areas whenever they are out and wherever they are and have not come up with any unusual reiatsu reoccurrences. It is quite possible this man can mask himself in other ways, such as hiding his reiatsu. It is possible this ability makes him invisible to our kind. He most likely does not know he is even doing it as he is unaware of the existence of Shinigami or hollow, otherwise I would think that he would not have been so bold as to appear directly in front of all of you."
"What? Ya mean he's like The Big Guy and Hime? Do you think he has other abilities?"
"It is not known. All the more reason to let someone help you, my dear boy."
"Fuck! Why am I so weak right now! I wish I had my-" He punches the wall beside his closet, leaving a concave shape in the material, "I should be able to take care of this fucker myself!"
Urahara shifts his eyes uneasily to the door of Grimmjow's room. It was cracked open just a sliver a moment before those words were uttered; now it's been silently closed. "Young man, you should not say things you cannot easily take back. Are you so agitated you forgot the reason you chose this path in the first place?"
Grimmjow looks to the floor, "He doesn't deserve this. He deserves someone who can protect him. Not a weakling who's failed him as much as I have these past months. He's probably better off without me."
"Grimmjow, it was not long ago that Kurosaki-kun vowed to protect his friends and family. I do not think Kurosaki-kun has ever asked for you to do the same for him. He has never once thought that it was your job to do so. Your physical strength and ability was never the reason for his feelings towards you, and that certainly could not have been your reason for staying here," the fatherly shop owner admonishes.
Grimmjow leans back against the same broken wall, pushing his fists in his pockets. "Goddammit!" He bangs his head back. The ex-Espada had sat in this very room thinking about his true reasons for being with Ichigo on numerous occasions. It was never his physical strength or powers that brought him before the orange-haired warrior, it was his strength of character and heart. It was his unwavering perseverance tied into a knightly code of honor that made Ichigo subconsciously irresistible to Grimmjow when he first sought him out and it was the beauty in his human vulnerability and his ability to rise above the adversity thrown at him that made Grimmjow fall completely for him. Ichigo, to him, is the lotus that breaks through the muddy surface, blossoming with radiance despite the dark journey before him.
In his pitiful rage he'd forgotten what was most important to him and above anything it was Ichigo. Instead of sharing his discovery and letting Ichigo share in his hardship, he pushed him aside and walked away. "Shit! What am I gonna do now?" Grimmjow turns to the door and makes his way to turn the knob. As he reaches out, a helping hand is at the handle.
"My boy, being human is not something you can completely forget, you are proof of that, are you not? I am glad your humanity is intact. I am unsure as to whether your charm can overcome this difficult task ahead of you, though. Ichigo is quite a stubborn individual and what you said was rather inconsiderate." Urahara opens the door as he waves his fan at Grimmjow, smiling an eyeless grin.
"Thanks a lot! Are ya tryin' ta cheer me up or make me feel worse?!" Grimmjow grumbles as he rubs his face with his hand. He's sure his Tricky Berry eavesdropped his moment of weakness. How is he gonna put out the raging fire that is Kurosaki Ichigo? He hopes that it is just anger and not something worse, like actually believing what he said in his pathetic madness.
Grimmjow looks around in the hall, then in the bathroom. No Ichigo. "Where is he? Where'd he go?" Grimmjow asks out loud.
"Hmm, let me see." Urahara gets a far away look, "Ah! He's already left."
"Great! By himself?! How'd he leave with no clothes?"
"Piecemeal from the laundry room," Tessai chuckles as he comes around the corner with a basket of clothes in his hands, "Only Jinta's and Ururu's were in there dry. Ya better catch him quick, with those tight black running shorts and that mid drift red tank, I feel sorry for the first man who propositions him thinkin' he's out on the prowl for Johns! I told him to wait and I would get him something from my room, but he was in a big hurry." Tessai laughs so hard he drops the basket on the floor, holding his belly like it's going to burst.
"Fuckin' fantastic!" Grimmjow scrambles to the front of the house to get his shoes to go after his furious other half, the two teasing men follow close behind.
"Oh! He already has company," Urahara informs and the look on Grimmjow is murderous, "Do not worry, it is an old friend. He will not take advantage of your 'Tricking Berry'. At least I do not think he will?" Urahara says behind his fan as his whole body shakes with pent up mirth.
"Asshole! It's not 'Tricking' it's- Oi! Fuck all of you!" Grimmjow flips the two men behind him off and stomps to the door, replacing the hat on his head.
"Grimmjow, don't forget to keep your hat on!" Urahara calls out as the door slams behind the flippant young man. The two, unable to keep it in any longer, laugh hysterically behind the closed door.
"Bunch of fuckin' ridiculous comedians." Grimmjow mutters under his breath as he starts to run in the direction of his lover's home. He couldn't have gotten that far and he'd rather bring him back to Urahara's to talk things over.
About five minutes into the search, Grimmjow turns the corner onto a path between opposing courtyards and gets an eye full of two arms wrapped around a red tank top clad back, a hand placed at a defined small of a back exposed between a too short shirt and low riding black shorts. Long red hair drapes over a bare muscular shoulder belonging to his orange-haired lover and a set of russet brown eyes open wittingly.
"Speak of the blue-haired devil himself and ye shall appear. Were your ears burning just now? What's with that get-up? Are you regressing?" Grimmjow lowers his jaw and peers threateningly from below his furrowed brow, his jaw clenches and arms twitch with pent up rage readying to pounce, "Easy now, boy. I'm backing away, see." The cocky redhead snorts as he releases Grimmjow's obviously agitated mate, holding his palms up in a surrendering manner.
Ichigo's back is to him. He refuses to turn around. His arms are folded across his chest and his breathing is deep but short, like how a beast breathes when it's been cornered before it's figured out its plan of attack. "Thought you'd be flitting around in your Arrancar form by now. Why'd you come here? To tell me to my face? I don't need it, so just be on your way-"
"I'M NOT...you know, could you excuse us for a moment, guy! I've got something to discuss with my fiancé here and I'd much rather do it in private, so could ya fuckin' get lost?" Grimmjow glares at the red-haired tattooed man with disdain.
"Grimmjow! Shut your rude fucking mouth!" Grimmjow's secretly happy his warrior is conversing with him even if it's furiously but he still doesn't turn around.
"Excuse me for not having time for pleasantries! We're kind of in the middle of something here." Grimmjow shifts his gaze to an amused tatted brow, "You must be Ichi's Shinigami douchebag, fair weather friend, Renji." Renji's amusement falters. "We weren't formally introduced a few months back when you and your colleagues formed an invisible lynch mob around me. Great ta meet ya, buddy." He turns back from his sarcastic snipe to a livid orangette, "Now can we be alone for a moment?!"
"Hey! It wasn't my fault! It was orders from the Captain-Commander to let Ichigo acclimate to being a normal human again! And we were blindsided by you! You can't fault us for our defense!"
"Right! And his orders have never been disobeyed before. Looks ta me like all your excuses stink like bullshit, Shinigami." Grimmjow spits at the backpedaling redhead.
"Yep. I deserve that. Look. Don't you think this was hard on me, too? I didn't want Ichigo constantly reminded of what he lost."
"Nah, You just didn't want to see it! He doesn't need your pity!"
Ichigo swings around to scream some more, but is overtly wounded as he scans the outfit in which Grimmjow chose, "Couldn't even wait till you were out of that shell? Wanted to rub it in? Why are you giving a shit about this, Grimmjow?! Fuckin' go!" Ichigo turns to walk away from the unwanted confrontation. "I knew this was going to be too difficult for you! I said it to myself time and time again, but I just kept getting sucked in deeper and deeper-"
Grimmjow comes up behind Ichigo, wrapping his strong arms around the orangette's waist and resting his forehead on the nape of Ichigo's neck, "I didn't mean to- I was so angry that- I couldn't get out-" Ichigo protests, trying to pull away but Grimmjow grips tighter, "I'm- I'm- so... Sorry, Ichi. I didn't mean it. I'm not going anywhere. I don't wish I had my reiatsu back. I just wish I was strong enough to protect you, and it just seemed...at that moment...that I wasn't...good enough for you." Ichigo lets the tension go in his body. He leans his head back and let's out a deep sigh.
"That's ridiculous. You really hurt me, Grimm."
"I know...Forgive me?" Grimmjow starts kissing the back of Ichigo's neck.
"What's gonna happen the next time you feel this way? Is it going to get worse? Am I gonna be something you regret? If you ever look at me that way, I'm not sure if I could take it."
"NO!" Grimmjow turns Ichigo around to look him in the eyes, "I will never regret this! I will never regret being with you! I love you, Ichi." The bluenette kisses his aggrieved man with all the passion and conviction he can possibly muster, holding him powerfully yet tenderly, trying to convey his wholeheartedness to its intended recipient.
Ichigo pulls back and slits his eyes intently and commands, "Don't you ever give me the cold shoulder again. Don't you ever push me away! No matter how freaked out your emotions get. Ya got that? Next time I'm busting heads first before I walk away."
"You have my permission to pound away. Just know that, no matter how stupid my mouth may be sometimes, my mind and soul are always irreversibly yours." Ichigo leans up to resume their fervent make-up kissing. The bluenette wishes he could take his beautiful berry right here and now. He wants nothing more than to lift his man up against one of the cobblestoned walls beside him and sink into his warmth, but alas... He feels Ichigo's mouth stop moving. He opens his eyes to see Ichigo staring off over his shoulder. He releases his lips and turns to see what's pulled away his man's attention.
The tatted redhead is still standing there, hands over his face, but peering through his fingers in a bafflement. He pulls his hands off to the sides but still holds his head like he's trying to keep his brains from spilling to the pavement from his ear sockets, "Wow, you guys are, like, for real, aren't you! Was that your first lover's quarrel? It's like watching a live action love drama unfold in front of me. You guys are intense!"
"Do you want me to knock your teeth down your throat? I don't care if I break my fist on your face, I'll do it." Ichigo threatens his old friend darkly.
"Uh, no thank you? Soooooo...what's got you so worked up it's got you runnin' for the hills, Blue?"
Grimmjow looks disbelieving back at Ichigo then back at the tatted red, "None of your fuckin' business, Shinigami. What the hell are ya doin' here, anyway?"
"Geez, just thought I could help. I got some time off and decided the heat cooled down enough in Sereitei for me to sneak my gigai out for a spin and to see how you two were getting along. I knew you guys were messin' around, but love? That's some crazy shit to wrap my head around." The powerful scarlet scratches his scalp and runs his fingers through his long flowing hair, "Seriously, though. How do you think this is going to work out? Sereitei is not going to allow an Arrancar to roam the human plane carefree for long. Eventually, he's gonna have to go back."
"That's why I'm gonna become a human again, thanks to Urahara." Grimmjow pulls Ichigo by the waist to his side; Ichigo looks up at his proud face, rolls his eyes and blushes.
"I knew Urahara Kisuke was a genius, but to be able to do that? I'll believe it when I see it." The Shinigami folds his arms and leans against one of the courtyard walls.
"Then we'll invite ya to the ceremony and you can see for yourself, dick." Grimmjow looks down and really gets an eyeful of what his fiery man is wearing. The black shorts ride a full two inches below his navel and the red tank is long but since it's too tight, it ruches way above his cut hips. No way was he gonna leave him exposed like that any longer. Grimmjow unzips his jacket, taking it off and wrapping it around his gingered lover. "Not gonna let ya get that mad again, what are ya gonna run away in next time?! Better not ever be less than this!"
"You're one to talk, shirtless! If that's gonna piss you off more, then yes! I'm sure I can think of something real good! Now settle down. Renji, we've got a situation going on here, any help would be appreciated."
Ichigo goes through the abridged version of the past few months happenings- the ambush and murder, including Grimmjow's cognizance of the stalker's close proximity and seemingly beyond human ability of hiding his presence. Then he adds, "Grimm, I've run into him before, too, literally, at the Ryokan...that morning. He was around the corner by our room. I was the one who told him I was going for a walk. He knew I was alone."
All Grimmjow can do is hold his warrior tighter. They lock eyes, both lacking words for the shit they've been put through. Grimmjow brushes orange bangs out of tawny dappled brown eyes, "Your hair's gettin' long, I like it...sexy wild. Let's go back to the shop, 'kay? Walk and talk at the same time?"
"I... Got school tomorrow, I need to finish some homework. Walk me home?" Grimmjow nods and Ichigo tucks stray light blue hairs back under his forgiven man's hat. He puts his hands in Grimm's jacket pocket and starts to walk towards home. Grimm hangs his arm around Ichigo's shoulders, pulling him close and kissing him on the temple, "Ok, Scarlet, ya got anything to say?"
"I never would have guessed an Arrancar could be so affectionate."
"Not about me, shit-for-brains, about the stalker."
Scarlet smiles open-mouthed and waggles his head in jest then proceeds, "That's some fucked up nonsense but I'm sorry fellas, I definitely can't help ya there. Not allowed to involve myself in human affairs, but if you can get some sort of grip on who this person is, I can put in a request to have him investigated for having inhuman abilities. Humans pop up here and there that carry extra-ordinary abilities, they get assessed and deemed whether or not they are harmful to society. 'Bout all I can do for ya right now. Seems to me like I wouldn't be much help if I can't sense him anyway."
"Right. Thanks, Renji. I'll have Urahara let you know if we find anything." Ichigo smirks slightly as he looks forward. "You keeping busy, I suppose?"
"Yep, we're all training. Trying to level up our skills. After the war, no one wants to be put in the position of inferiority again. If and when that time comes, we all want to be prepared. Lots of people miss you Ichigo...thought you should know. I'm glad everything is, for the most part, working out for you. You and Blue seem...happy together."
"I know I am," Grimmjow declares. "You tell those Shinigami that it's gonna take a hell of an army to separate us, they just better not try it, though. Better yet, don't mention anything, the less we're brought up, the lesser the chances of interference."
"Well, there's a meeting Wednesday regarding the two of you. I'm not sure if it's the final judgment or not but Byakuya relayed the information to me and you know he never talks unless he feels the need to."
"Thanks, Renji. If you can, please let us know what they have to say." Ichigo requests and Renji nods his cooperation. Few minutes are silent till they get to the front door of the Kurosaki household. Grimmjow stands in front of Ichigo about to speak up, but he looks up to stare at Renji.
"Uhhh, I'll just be over there," he points to the gate at the end of the driveway, "waiting for Grimmjow. Might as well keep him company on his way back to the shop. It was good to see you, Ichigo. Talk to ya soon."
"Yep. Don't be a stranger." Ichigo waves goodbye to his Shinigami friend then looks back to Grimmjow.
"I'm gonna go back to talk things over with Urahara, see if the gang is coming to relay all this new information. Ya want me to pick you up if there's a meeting?"
"No…I'm a bit tired. There isn't much else I can help with or learn about anyway. I'll call you before bed, okay?"
"I hate leavin' ya right now, after our...little misunderstanding. You know, I love you, right? And I'm not going anywhere. I got so worked up about this guy deceiving us and you know how much I hate people thinking they're better or stronger than me."
Ichigo chuckles and huffs, "All to well, Grimm. Okay, I'll see you later." Ichigo looks up to Grimmjow with a small smile on his face, but his eyes still look pained and like there's something he's hiding.
"Are you sure your alright? You look like you wanna say something, say it."
"Nah, I'm ok. Just...drained." Grimmjow mimics his pitiful look, feeling just as shitty if not more than Ichigo about the transgressions of the day.
"Ok. I'll give you a proper apology later...promise." Grimmjow caresses Ichigo's neck and runs his thumbnail along his jawline and grasps his chin between his fingers before kissing his Tricky Berry softly but deeply. Grimmjow speaks "Mmm, I'm gonna love you so long and slow next time. I'm gonna taste every inch of your beautiful skin. I'm gonna make ya cum so hard and long, you're gonna pass out underneath me."
Ichigo shutters and breathes a moan, "Can't wait," he delves his tongue hungrily into his teasing bluenette's mouth then pulls away quickly, "Grimm...um, you know... uhh... oh, never mind." The orangette buries his face into Grimmjow's bare chest.
Grimmjow laughs and peels away from his clinging young man, "Ya can't do that. I've never seen ya this shade of red before. C'mon tell me!"
"No! Not right now anyway, in private. Renji's probably listening in with his bionic ears right now anyway, fuckin' perv."
They both turn to look down the driveway towards the red-haired Shinigami. He looks like a caught mouse, scurrying to walk away to the left, then realizing he has to walk to the right to Urahara's, turns quickly back the other direction and walks out of sight.
Both the boys say in unison, "Yep. Fuckin' perv."
"Ok. I cannot wait to hear what ya gotta say. Talk to ya later, babe." He kisses his fiery orangette once more on the forehead before he walks down the drive.
Ichigo watches Grimmjow till he passes the next house and is out of view. He closes the door and leans up against the frame, physically and emotionally exhausted by the day's rollercoaster ride. He hangs his head in sadness, knowing it will only get more bumpy from here till this trip is over.
