Lance wasn't allowed to watch Lotor by himself anymore. The rest of the team was unhappy with the added work. Babysitting Lotor had already put a visible strain on Pidge's already packed schedule, and the frustration from the rest of the team was noticeable in the air.
It was the first time since leaving Earth that Lance would walk into a room and the people within would suddenly stop talking, as though they had been talking about him just a moment before. Lance tried not to show how much it bothered him. He knew it couldn't last forever.
There were only seven of them in the castle. That's fewer people than Lance had in his immediate family, and no matter how much he got in trouble or irritated them, they would always forgive him in the end. That was how families worked.
Surely his space family wasn't different, right?
He wanted to help, somehow. If he wasn't allowed to watch Lotor maybe he could take some of their other burden's away.
When Hunk shuffled into the kitchen to make lunch, Lance followed. "Hey, man, can I help you make lunch?"
Hunk turned, and shot a sad smile in Lance's direction. "You know I love you, and everything and could use the help...but I've also seen you try to fry an egg."
"Yeah, but this is food goo. It can't be as difficult as egg frying…"
"Lance," Hunk raised his eyebrows and wore an amused smile on his face, "first of all, frying an egg is not difficult. Second of all, you burnt down the entire community kitchen at the Garrison!"
"Yeah, okay, but I learned a lot from that experience."
"The fire was so bad the firefighters initially thought someone had set off a bomb!"
"Okay, okay, I'm a terrible cook." Hunk snorted at Lance's comment. "I can tell when I'm not wanted." Lance chortled at himself, backing out of the kitchen.
As soon as he was out of sight he let his laugh drop off and frowned.
Lance was determined to make things right between him and everyone else. He had thought Hunk would be the easiest. At least Hunk hadn't seemed mad at him, just tired and busy. Lance took a moment and sighed, leaning against a wall.
Time to try to help someone else. He pushed off the wall and sprung on his feet, attempting to appear energetic and his usual self.
He ran into Pidge in the next room. They were hurrying off somewhere and looked completely exhausted. Lance knew he wasn't smart enough to help them with whatever project they were working on, but maybe he could at least help relieve some of the stress.
"Hey Pidge! Do you want to take a spin on the Gameflux later? We're only on level five of Nuclear Complex, supposedly there's an easter egg on the next level." He wiggled his eyebrows in Pidge's direction.
Pidge looked up, eyes strained. "No, I don't have time to play games right now. I need to focus on decoding this galra tech." They hurried off down the corridor.
The way Pidge spoke to him almost made Lance feel like he was the younger one of the two. Lance would have to try to work with them later. Pidge was such an invaluable member of the team, Lance worried that if they got too stressed they would start to crack under the pressure. He wasn't about to let that happen.
Lance heard laughter coming from the common room.
He poked his head inside to see Allura and Matt laughing on the ground. Pieces of some kind of technology were littered around them. They were fixing something that the castle needed to run.
It was clear even in their laughter that they were working hard. Allura was examining fist sized crystals in the light. Matt was focused on some kind of programming. Even Allura's mice were helping, jumping around the piles of tech to find bolts and pieces that were needed.
Something about the scene made Lance's stomach twinge. He tried to tell himself it was just jealousy because Matt was flirting with Allura, but it didn't quite match the feeling.
It was jealousy, but not over some girl. I'm the one that usually makes everyone laugh.
He banished the thought. Lance was on a mission to make everyone's lives a little easier ever since he'd screwed up, and sometimes that just meant making people laugh and have a bit of a better day. If there was now someone else in the castle that could do that...well...that was a positive thing.
He took a deep breath before stepping into the room.
"Allura! Matt! Hey! Anything I can help with?" He kept his voice even, made sure it sounded bubbly like usual.
Allura stopped her laughter. "Sorry Lance, but this is actually quite delicate…"
"Oh...well, that's okay. What were you talking about?" Maybe he could add to the laughter or find something to do. The mice were helping, so surely Lance could too.
"Lance, really. I'm sorry, but we need to focus on what we're doing. We don't have any time for distractions." Allura frowned.
"Okay, sorry. I just wanted to help." The evenness in his voice cracked on the last word. He hadn't meant it to come out sounding so desperate or childish.
Allura studied Lance for a second. She frowned deeper and her eyebrows knitted together. For all intents and purposes her expression looked like pity for a second.
That was definitely not how he wanted Allura to look at him. Lance privately thanked his skin for being dark for a second, as he could feel his face burn slightly with embarrassment. Hopefully Allura wouldn't notice.
Matt spoke up first. "I think...uh...Coran might have needed help with something…"
"Oh yes!" Allura nodded at him in agreement, flashing Matt a look of thanks. "Coran could definitely use help! He's on the bridge working on reattaching the allcema plates for the propulsion light drive. It's definitely a two person job, everyone else has just been so busy...uh…"
She trailed off awkwardly. Lance didn't need another word though. Relief swept through him, cutting through the embarrassment. "Right! I'll...ah...go help him." He turned and walked out of the room, trying not to look too eager to run away from the awkwardness in the room.
Back out in the hall Lance just about collapsed against a wall. "Oh, god…"
Lance could deal with people laughing at him, and making fun of him. He almost encouraged it, even, whatever it took to lighten the mood and make people smile. But pity? Pity was not something Lance ever wanted.
If Allura was the heart of Voltron, Lance just wanted to be the smile. The person the other's relied on to make a bad situation good again.
But it looks like Matt fits that role better than I do. The thought forced itself to the forefront of Lance's brain before he hastily pushed it back down again. He was not going to let his mind go there.
Leave the math to Pidge…
He allowed that memory to fill his thoughts, remembering Keith's smile as Lance turned away. He kept holding onto it as he wandered down the hall, towards the bridge.
The castle was huge and empty. It had been intended for so many more people to live there. You could walk from the top to the bottom without ever running into another person. That's why when Lance heard voices coming from one of the rooms he stopped suddenly.
He recognized the voices as Lotor's and Shiro's. Shiro must be on watching Lotor duty.
Lance was about to leave, not wanting to accidentally run into either of the people inside the room. It was definitely in his best interest to leave as fast as possible to avoid Shiro's disappointed gaze or Lotor's one puffy blue eye from where he had punched him.
But then he realized what the room was. It was one of the main communication rooms within the castle. It was one of the rooms Lotor wasn't allowed in at all, regardless of if he was being watched by a Paladin.
If Shiro had broken one of his own rules, that he had lectured the others about for an hour about no less, then it must be for something important. Lance couldn't help himself, he snuck closer to the door.
"I've implanted more memories in him like you've directed me to, but I'm not sure it's going to be enough." Lotor paused.
Lance wasn't sure if someone was talking to them from their communications that he couldn't hear, or if he had paused waiting for Shiro to speak.
Lotor spoke again after a moment. "Yes, but if project Kuron is going to work we have to be patient. If we move too fast the others will suspect something."
So he was talking to someone else through the communications. What is project Kuron?
Lance moved even closer to the door, listening carefully, then Shiro's voice reached his ears.
"We only have about 30 more ticks of communication time." His voice was stoic, almost robotic. It was definitely Shiro's voice, but somehow it didn't sound anything like it at all.
Lance knew it was a risk, standing there, when Lotor and Shiro would be leaving the room in less than a minute. The hallway he was in was long and didn't have any nearby doors or hiding spaces. If they left the room early they'd definitely spot Lance.
Lance needed to know though. He needed to learn more.
There was another long pause before Lotor spoke again. "Ah...yes. Keep up the good work. I'll speak to you when I can."
Damn. Lance wasn't going to get anything else.
The door handle suddenly rattled, about to be opened by someone inside the room.
Lance panicked. He didn't have any good choices. He took off running down the hall, hoping that it would take Lotor and Shiro a few moments to leave.
It was a good thing Lance was fast. He managed to get out of sight from the door, turned a corner in the hall. He couldn't tell if anyone was following him, his blood was pounding in his ears.
Lance turned another corner and stopped, trying to catch his breath for a second.
What had it all meant? He tried to recall the conversation word for word, but there were too many missing pieces.
Lotor had said something about Project Kuron, something about it needing to be slow, and something about implanting memories. That wasn't a lot for Lance to go off of. But if Shiro was in the room, it couldn't have been something bad. Shiro was their leader. Lance didn't always love following Shiro's orders, but he was trustworthy and smart.
Different ideas whizzed around Lance's brain, each more crazy than the last. There wasn't enough information to do anything with. He contemplated telling Allura, but he knew she would just suggest talking to Shiro and getting his side of things.
But if Shiro was somehow working with Lotor, then knowing what Lance had overheard would just paint a target on Lance's back. Shiro would definitely come up with some excuse that everyone would trust, Lance would want to trust it too. But what it...what if... There were just too many unknowns.
It was decided. Lance would have to investigate more.
"Lance!?"
It was Shiro. At the very moment Lance had made up his mind, Shiro had turned the corner to see Lance leaning against a wall, out of breath and panting.
Lance's eyes went wide. He felt the blood drain from his face. "Hey Shir-o." He noticed Lotor following Shiro from behind. "Lotor…"
Lance's voice was coming out too high pitched and strained. Calm down, calm down, calm down!
"Lance?" Shiro questioned.
"I was...I was...I was just heading up to the bridge to give Coran a hand with some kind of plate thingies, you know how he is...always needing a hand...and I've got two of them...oh jeez sorry man, I know you've got one, but your Galra hand is basically like a normal hand except that you can kill people with it...I mean not people...ya know aliens." Lance was rambling, badly. If there had been any doubt in Shiro's mind that Lance had overheard the conversation it had to be quickly leaving.
Shiro looked calm. He looked patient.
It scared the shit out of Lance. "So anyway...Coran is expecting me, so I've gotta go." Lance turned to leave, but then Shiro's voice sent a chill down his spine.
"Wonderful. I'm glad you're working hard. It sounds like Lotor and I should tag along and help too. Coran definitely wouldn't mind the extra help."
If Lance had originally had any plans about talking to one of the other paladins, that was officially not going to happen.
Lance's palms were sweating bad enough that the corner of the plate he was holding slipped and sliced his hand open.
"CRAP!" It stung, badly, leaving tears in Lance's eyes. Blood started dripping down his palm, mixing with the sweat.
"Be careful, Lance, this takes a Slyra's careful touch to do properly." Coran said it as though Lance would know what a Slyra was.
"Sorry, Coran! I'm bleeding, so I should really head to the med bay." He hadn't intended to cut himself, but if it gave Lance an excuse to get away from Shiro and Lotor, he would take it.
They were currently wrestling with their own plate, distracted enough that Lance might just be able to make his escape.
"Lance, I'll take you to the med bay." Shiro said.
Damn. Lance thought, clearly he hadn't been distracted enough.
"No, no, it's fine. It's just a cut." Lance tried to play it off like it was nothing, but the cut was clearly deep and hurt pretty bad.
Shiro continued like Lance hadn't even said anything. "Actually, we should all take a break. Hunk should have lunch ready by now. Coran, why don't you watch Lotor and take him down to the dining hall, and Lance and I will meet up with you after we get his hand fixed up."
Coran nodded. "Sounds like a good plan to me."
Lance groaned internally. If Shiro was evil, Lance was definitely about to be murdered.
He followed Shiro's steps down to the med bay, careful not to get too close.
"Lance…" Shiro said, suddenly, opening the door for Lance to step inside. "Are you feeling alright today? You've been acting strange. I know I was harsh the last time we spoke, but I don't want there to be any hard feelings between us. We all need to get along for the best of the team."
Lance's mouth dropped open. He studied Shiro's face, not seeing even an ounce of suspicious behavior there. It was so sincere. Lance had a sudden urge just to trust Shiro.
They'd all been through so much together these last few months. Was it right for Lance to doubt all of that after overhearing one conversation?
"No...no, I've just...I've been feeling a bit like the weak link of the team right now…" Lance trailed off into silence. There had been a time before Shiro disappeared that Lance had trusted him with thoughts like these. The memory of Keith came back to him as well...leave the math to Pidge.
Shiro grabbed Lance's injured hand and started patching it up. "Ah...I see, is that all?"
"Y-yeah." Lance had a sharp intake of breath when something Shiro was doing made his hand sting.
"Sorry about that, you can stick your hand in the healing pod now."
Lance moved his hand over to rest in the pod. It was an odd feeling to watch his cut stitching itself back together.
"Lance...you can always come to me if you have doubts about anything."
"Yeah, I know." He pulled his hand out of the pod to examine it. It looked perfect, there wouldn't even be a scar.
"I'm serious, Lance. If you have doubts about yourself or someone else, if you ever overhear something that makes you uncomfortable, just talk to me about it."
The emphasis made Lance's mouth feel dry all of a sudden. "Y-yeah." He said, and then under his breath he muttered, "because that worked so well the last time."
"What did you say?"
"Nothing." Lance cursed at himself.
"Alright, well let's get to lunch." Shiro turned to leave.
"Actually, I'm feeling kind of sick. I think I'm going to skip lunch and just hang out in my room instead." He prayed that Shiro would let him go.
"Are you sure?"
"Yep."
"I'll walk you down there."
Damn. Lance had been so close to freedom, but maybe he would be able to figure something out while alone in his room.
He followed slightly behind Shiro again, still not trusting him.
What could Lance do? It was pretty clear that Shiro would prevent Lance from being alone with any of the paladins. He could always try to sneak out and talk to one of them at night, but getting one of them to trust him and not talk to Shiro about it would be a problem.
Ugh...I need to talk to someone who's known Shiro for a long time and would know if he's acting strange.
Lance's first thought went to Matt. The idea of him having a heart to heart conversation with someone he barely knew was not an ideal. Even if he could find a way to talk to Matt, there were no guarantees with how Matt might react. Besides, Matt couldn't be feeling too charitable toward Lance anyway. Lance's fight with Lotor meant that Matt also had extra duties.
No, Lance needed someone who knew Shiro, and wasn't currently mad at Lance for anything.
Lance needed Keith.
Lance stepped inside his room and said goodbye to Shiro. He listened until the footsteps receded around the corner.
The closest communications room wasn't very far. He wouldn't be able to have a long conversation, but he hoped it would be enough to help him figure things out. Listening to the door once more, he reopened it and took a sprint around the corner.
It was time to figure this out.
A/N: Hey! Sorry for making you wait, I took the weekend off. I also made this chapter too long, ha! I was hoping I would get to the conversation with Keith, but you'll just have to wait until tomorrow.
