It was a rough couple of weeks for Keith. He spent every waking moment scanning the computers for signs of Lance. Occasionally Hunk, Pidge, and Matt would help, but mostly they kept to the search for Shiro.
A couple of nights Keith had even fallen asleep in the middle of a scan. He'd wake up to find the outlines of the keyboard keys pressed into his cheeks. Red marks running all the way up to his forehead.
Hunk had started bringing him food, after realizing Keith wasn't remembering to eat. Pidge purposefully shut him out of the computers in the castle for an hour in order to convince him to take a bath.
He was ignoring his other duties too. Allura and Coran would come and invite him to training sessions. The concern was apparent on their faces. He kept telling them that he would be there, but then never showed up. They didn't say anything though. Keith wasn't sure if the desperate look in his eyes was scaring them off, or if they just understood why it all mattered so much to him.
It made him feel guilty. He knew that it was a slim chance to find Lance without any clues. He knew that his time would be better spent with the others working on finding Shiro. He couldn't help it though.
An indicator light popped up on the screen he was working on. Once again Kolivan was trying to contact him, and once again Keith ignored him.
He hadn't been able to figure out what to say to Kolivan. He knew that the Blade of Marmora needed him, but he also didn't know how long he would be a paladin again. It might be a permanent position if they couldn't find Lance.
Keith shuddered at the thought.
The Blade could survive without him for a few weeks. Keith continued his search without wavering.
He started zoning out while waiting on the most recent scan to finish. Keith thought about Lance, how he would give just about anything to see his smile again. Lance with his smile was a bright shining light. In the darkness of space he was a beacon.
So why was it so hard to find him?
Keith might be a better fighter than Lance. He might even be a better pilot. At his best Keith could take down more Galra with his bayard than anyone else on the team.
But even with all of Keiths accolades Lance was undoubtedly the better paladin. Lance understood teamwork and team spirit like nobody else. He could look at a person and know exactly what to say to them to get them inspired. Lance was special, unique, irreplaceable.
Anyone could become a good pilot, but no one else could become Lance.
It wasn't until a loud bang went off in the room when Keith realized he had begun drifting off to sleep.
It was Allura. She had slammed down a stack of paper onto the desk near Keith and was looking at him. Her eyes showed how angry she was. Keith's head snapped to attention.
"Keith, you need to take better care of yourself."
"What?" He wasn't sure what to say.
"No. I don't want to hear anything you have to say right now. You look awful. You need sleep. You haven't been keeping up on training. At this rate I'm going to ban you from doing any missions. If we manage to find Lance, you won't get to go rescue him. Do you understand?"
"I'm fine. I've been sleeping. I've just been too busy to train."
"Are you too busy to speak to Kolivan too?" Allura pursed her lips, waiting for a response.
"Oh…" Keith was busted on that one.
"He contacted me because you weren't answering. I had to explain the entire situation. He's angry Keith. He desperately needs you on some mission, and you've been ignoring your duties. How could you do that? You put the entire alliance at risk!"
"I...just...I…"
"Save it. I don't need an explanation. It's clear to me that you are not doing well. You've never been a person to avoid your responsibilities, Keith. This is damaging the entire team. We need you at your best. You're the closest thing we have to a leader, even though I know that's not what you want to be." Allura frowned.
Keith stayed silent, thinking. He had done a poor job leading the last time, and this time he was doing even worse. It wasn't a strength of his. It didn't come naturally. Keith felt bad for failing everyone, and he needed to do better.
"I didn't come up here to reprimand you though. That wasn't my purpose. I came up here to tell you that we found information that might lead us to Shiro and needed your help planning our mission, but at this point you'd be more harm than good. You're off mission, Keith."
"Wait! What?!" Keith's mouth dropped open.
"We found a base that we're sure has the information on Shiro's whereabouts. I wanted you to be in on the mission, but I'm not going to jeopardize it because you're in poor condition. I've decided. You're staying here and getting some sleep. Matt will have to be back up and help us in a fighter ship."
"But I could help!" Even to his own ears it sounded feeble.
"In your condition you can barely stand. You're staying here and to make sure you sleep I'm going to have Pidge shut you out of the main computer too. Comms will stay up, but you will not be able to do anything." Allura crossed her arms. The decision was made.
"But-"
"No. Go to sleep. When you wake up maybe we can talk. But right now I can't have you on mission risking everyone's lives."
Keith nodded, resigned. "I'll go. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to put so much at risk."
Allura nodded too, her posture relaxing a bit. "I understand your worry. You care really deeply for Lance; he's special to you. You can't put that above everything else though. There's a team of people who need you right here."
He nodded at her once more before she left.
Keith had been so irresponsible. He knew why. It wasn't as though his feelings for Lance stopped at being a teammate or a friend. He wasn't sure exactly when it had become more than that, but it definitely was now. He wouldn't have gone so far if he hadn't had feelings for him.
Keith sighed and dropped his head to his hands.
He wasn't quite ready to investigate how deep his feelings went. The entire thing made everything so much more complicated.
Finally Keith decided to move back to his bedroom. He was too tired to think about all of this anyway. Allura was right. He needed sleep.
Keith spent his nap tossing and turning more than actually sleeping. It was the unfortunate side-effect of having too much to worry about.
He stared up at his ceiling. He counted sheep. He tried to relax his mind by force. Go to sleep. You're going to sleep now. Fall asleep. Why isn't this working?
Keith had managed to drift off a few times briefly, only to become wide awake at the thought of Lance dying or Kolivan reprimanding him. After a few hours he decided it was a good attempt and would have to work on it some more later.
Stretching his legs, he hopped back out of bed.
He didn't really want to go see Allura. She would definitely be mad at him for not trying to sleep longer. There was next to no possibility of her letting him on the mission as he was. Keith still needed to know what was happening though. He wanted to be there for his team in whatever capacity he was able to be.
He found them in the common room, working through last minute details.
"Hey everybody." Keith greeted them so that they would notice his presence.
"Hey!" Hunk smiled at Keith.
Pidge smiled too. "Look who's out of their cave of depression."
Allura glared at Pidge. "That's not funny Pidge, he's clearly trying very hard."
"It's okay. I know I've been a bit…" Keith trailed off. Everyone nodded understandingly. "Allura, about this mission…"
"Keith…" Alluras frown deepened. "I know that you want to be included, but I'm not sure that you're at your best right now."
"No...that's...I get it. I'm really not." Keith sighed. It was hard admitting it to himself, but after a couple weeks of next to know sleep or good habits, it was taking its toll on him. "I just want to know what the plan is, see if I can help you all work through it."
Allura brightened. "Yes, of course! Pidge, bring the plans that we have for the base over."
Pidge pulled out a rolled blueprint and rolled it out for Keith to look at. The base was huge, bigger than any base they'd had to infiltrate so far. Keith whistled.
Pidge nodded before beginning to explain. "So this," they said pointing to a spot, "is where the information we need is. The closest entries to get there are," Pidge pointed at two more spots, "here and here."
"Right." Allura chimed in. "So what we thought is that we could use the Green lion's stealth mode to get Pidge and Matt to the entrance. Then they can run through this hallway down towards the the deck. Meanwhile Hunk and I will be running backup in our Lions in case they're spotted. Coran will stay and look after the Castle with you and be ready in case anything goes wrong."
Keith thought for a moment. "That seems like a good plan, pretty standard for us except for being down a few people. We haven't done a mission on a base this big though. There's no Voltron to save you if things go bad. Do you think it will work?"
Allura looked down at the plans, her face set. "It has to work. I assume the base will be more heavily guarded than the usual one, but otherwise it should be a fairly standard mission. As long as we're stealthy enough everything should go according to plan."
Everyone nodded in agreement.
"Well, it looks all set. When do you leave?" Keith asked.
"In about an hour."
"That soon?"
"It's the best time to go according to Pidge's calculations. We need our team back together. We don't have time to waste." Allura said. She looked stressed, but also settled on the plan ahead.
He helped them pack up the ships and get ready. Allura had him promise to get some more sleep and that he wouldn't use the time to search for Lance. He agreed.
All too soon they were flying out of the hangar and Coran was on his way to the control room to check on one thing or another.
Red seemed to stare at Keith.
"I know...I know, but I can't go with them. We've got to look after the Castle." Keith muttered before storming away, ignoring the prick of irritation on his neck.
Coran twisted his mustache. "You know...in the Darbi Clan on Planet Wixemus they say that talking to yourself is a sign of genius. That's why I do it everyday."
Keith shot him a glare. If he noticed Coran didn't let on though. He just whistled as he walked away down the hall.
Without Coran to distract him Keith wandered aimlessly around the castle for a few minutes. He wanted to at least try to fall asleep again, but that wasn't going to happen if his mind kept racing. His feet moved forward down the halls.
He could try to get some training in. Keith's body itched for a chance to fight a robot. His muscles felt weak from sitting so much recently. As tired as he was though, there was a good chance Keith would end up injured instead. It was better to wait until he had someone else to train with...and drag him to the med bay if needed.
He was lost in his own thoughts as he walked the halls of the castle. Keith's footsteps tapped on the ground beneath him, making a soothing sound almost like a heartbeat.
Then, when he realized where he was, his footsteps stopped all of a sudden. The hallway was familiar. It wasn't as though he had come here often, but when you were a Paladin of Voltron you needed to talk to your teammates sometimes. It could be life or death to know where their rooms were in an emergency.
A few more steps and Keith would find himself in front of Lance's door.
"You're not going in there." Keith said aloud even though it was to himself, as though saying it aloud would be more convincing. He thought of how proud the Darbi Clan would probably be.
But what if there's a clue?
"Lotor threw out all of his stuff, there's nothing in there."
But…
"You promised Allura. You need sleep."
He really, really, wanted to stay true to his promise to Allura. A part of himself knew he had lost as soon as he noticed where he was.
"Just for a second...just to investigate...that's it." His hand reached out for the keypad to unlock the door. It whooshed as it slid open
It looked like just a normal room. There was a bed to one side, made up with a pillow. A large rectangle of metal, which Keith knew to be a desk stood on the other side.
He didn't bother turning on the light inside as he strode into the room. Something about turning it on would make the invasion of privacy seem too real, so Keith just resolved to use the light from the hallway to help him search.
He clicked on each of the desk drawers to open them. There was nothing inside. The room was completely bare.
It didn't look like Lance's room at all anymore.
Lance was something of a collector of things. His room was never as messy as Pidge's. There used to be an organized chaos vibe that Lance's room always had. He'd have all sorts of stuff from the planets they visited, but he'd keep them neat and tidy. Rows of collected items, clothes folded and in their designated spaces, night face cream and water set up by the bed.
Lance's things had been organized as though he was so used to keeping things clean he forgot that there was no one to keep things clean for anymore. They'd all been forced to keep their rooms clean at the Garrison, but Lance never seemed to stop the habit.
Now the room reminded Keith more of his own. No possessions. There was no point in getting attached to things when you're used to moving from place to place.
He sunk onto the bed, suddenly extremely tired. Keith felt wetness fall on his cheek and reached up to wipe it off. He curled in on himself, allowing the bed to catch him. He closed his eyes tightly, determined not to let any more tears through as he hugged the sheets.
Keith breathed in, not realizing what he was searching for until he didn't find it. Even Lance's scent was gone from the place. Keith was greeted with nothing but a soft smell of detergent.
"Dammit Lance! Where are you?!" He shouted it into a mouthful of pillow.
Did Lotor have to be so thorough? Everything in this room was sterile and clean and removed of any personalization. There was nothing here. Keith knew that. It was a waste of his time even though he had nothing better to do. He turned over onto his back, frustrated.
Then Keith's gaze hit the ceiling. Glow in the dark stars had been meticulously placed into constellations. They glowed softly down at him from the ceiling, dim from the lack of light in Lance's room for a while.
Keith laughed. It was shocking to his system that something like that would make him laugh, especially after he had just been in tears a moment before. Only Lance would stick stars onto his ceiling when he would be able to see the real thing out of any window at any time.
It was so childish, and yet Keith found himself mesmerized by it. He counted the three stars on Orion's belt. His finger traced through the air to find Taurus, Aries, and Pisces. He found his favorite constellations Cygnus not far off.
It was such a detailed map, it must have taken Lance ages to get it right. If Keith squinted it looked just like the night sky on Earth.
And then it hit him.
Of course Lance would have stuck stars onto his ceiling. Of course he would have been so meticulous. Lance missed Earth. He had been homesick ever since he arrived at the Castle.
If Lance wasn't able to find the Castle of Lions, maybe he would try to find the one other familiar place in the universe.
It was a long shot, but it was more than what Keith had been able to figure out in the past few jumped out of the bed, messing up the covers even further than he had already.
Rushing out of the room, he made his way quickly for the main computer. He ran past the control room where he heard Coran shou, "Keith! Hey!" Keith ignored him, focused on the task at hand.
He dashed to the computer, already starting to type before even sitting down. There was no way for him to look into communications on Earth. It wasn't one of the planets that aliens frequented. There had to be some other planet or base or anything nearby that Lance might be able to communicate with. Why hadn't Keith thought of this before?
"What are you doing?" Coran's voice made Keith jump out of his focus.
"I'm...uh...searching for Lance."
"What was the one thing the Princess requested you were not to do while she was away?"
"Uh...search for Lance." Keith sighed. "But I think-"
"I won't hear this rate you'll get blocked from using the computer for a week when Princess Allura gets back."
"No, Coran, I really think I've found someth-"
Coran approached the computer next to Keith and began toggling buttons. "The Princess gave me strict instructions that if I were to find you searching for Lance I was to reprimand you and then force you to call Kolivan, since you think you've slept enough to be of use to a search mission."
"I...uh…" It wasn't as though calling Kolivan was unimportant to Keith, it just wasn't the most important thing to him at the moment.
With the communication already set up, though, Keith would just have to get through the call as quickly as possible. He needed to repair the damage he had done. He sighed in resignation. Lance would have to wait just a little while longer.
"Keith. I'm glad you've finally contacted me." The screen Coran had been messing with lit up with Kolivan's face.
"Hello, Kolivan. I'm sorry for not communicating with you sooner. I...uh...I was busy." Keith was sure any excuse he had given would have gotten the same justified angry look.
"I understand the amount of additional work that Voltron must be causing you, but this was part of your agreement to the Blade. If you're unable to complete your duties you should not have taken them in the first place."
"I agree. Voltron has needed me recently and I wasn't sure if or when I would be back with the Blade. I should have reached out."
"Yes, I understand that. The reason I contacted you however I have a mission that I've needed you for this past week. I can't have anyone else do it because I need the green lion."
Keith's ears perked up on that note. He wasn't sure what the Blade would need with Green. It was unusual for them to ask for help, especially from Voltron. They hardly knew Pidge, and so they were relying pretty heavily on Keith to convince his allies to help.
Kolivan continued. "There's been a ship that's been appearing near our base in the Plagar system. It's had its distress beacon on and it's shown up several time in the past couple of weeks. Our immediate thought was that it was an obvious trap, trying to lure us out to help it. But then it attacked a Galra ship that approached it so we have had to assume that it could be a rebel ship trying to find the resistance."
Keith nodded as Kolivan spoke, but something urged him to look at the galaxy map he had managed to pull up on the other screen. He immediately found Earth, in the middle of the system he was most familiar with. His eyes tracked over the map, looking at the nearest most systems.
If it bothered Kolivan that Keith was no longer paying his full attention, he didn't let it show. "The base is well hidden so this usually wouldn't be a problem to send some of our people out to take care of this ship, one way or another, but there's a Galra fleet nearby looking for our base as well. They're armed and ready to attack at any provocation. If we send any ships out ourselves they would be able to find the base easily and attack."
There. "The Plagar system!" Keith found what he was looking for in the map. A solar system close enough to Earth for a certain Paladin to be looking for help near.
Kolivan stopped what he was saying and stared at Keith. "Yes...do you know it? I'm trying to explain that this mission needs a great amount of stealth so we want the green lion to-"
"There isn't time for that! I'm coming." He ended the communication with jumped out of his seat.
Coran stepped in his way. "And just where do you think you're going? Sit down like a good Merinfollop and call back Kolivan."
"No time! Coran, don't you get it? It's Lance!" Keith just about shouted it.
"What's Lance?"
"The Plagar system! The ship that's been trying to find the resistance!"
Coran looked confused by the leap in logic Keith had made, but he was shocked enough to not resist when Keith ran around him heading towards the hangar.
As soon as Keith had run past, Coran's brain seemed to catch up. "Just wait a moment, Keith! The others will be back in a few hours and then you'll all be able to figure out a plan."
"No time! Lance could set off that Galra fleet at any moment. Tell Allura to hyperjump to my location once she's back!"
"But…"
Whatever Coran said last, Keith didn't hear him. He was already too far down the corridor on his way to Red. He was going to rescue Lance whatever it took.
A/N: Ahhh! They've found each other Finally!
I meant to get this chapter out sooner to all of you but the holidays definitely kept me busier than I expected. I'm glad it's done now though!
Happy reading!
