3. Some light

SEPTEMBER, 1977

The blow left him so stunned that when he realized he was flying towards the lake, he could not do anything to avoid the hard impact. It just gave him time to inhale air a few tenths of a second before sinking. He knew how to swim, of course he knew, but there was something that pulled him inward. Stunned by the speed of everything, by the lack of air and by the huge amount of water he already swallowed; he could not help but faint.

When he regained consciousness, he was lying on the shore. Soggy. He puke some water that still had in his lungs and coughed spasmodically. When he was able to concentrate on his surroundings, he noticed the girl who looked at him worriedly. He was puzzled because he was the last person he expected to see there.

After insisting for weeks, waiting for her through the corridors and even sleeping some nights outside the fat lady's portrait, Severus stopped insisting and disappeared from her life. He had spent the summer alone, locked in his room, taking care of his mother from the abuses of Tobias Snape. He believed that his best option was to let time blur or distort the memory. She knew himself guilty, of course, and would have done anything to change those hurtful words, but he had assumed that the girl would not speak to him ever again. That's why, at the beginning of the seventh year, he was surprised by the fact that it was Lily, the person who had rescued him.

He did not know what to say, he did not want to spoil it more -if possible -now that he had her so close. He noticed that the girl was soaked and the white blouse of the uniform had stuck to Lily's body. He could not help but blush and noticed the obvious bulge between his legs. He looked in that direction and knew that he was not wearing pants at all. That must have been the most embarrassing situation in his life, because the girl noticed that too. Severus sat down, stretched his white uniform shirt, and cast a spell on Lily's clothes to dry it. Then he dried himself and built his self-confidence distant wall that he used to protect him from the rest of the people.

- So… You still care for me! After all this time, you could not forget me! Could you? – sarcastically.

- No, you idiot. I didn't even saw who yu were. I just saw someone sinking. Why can't you just say thanks?

- I know how to take care of myself. I only was having a mishap with a harpy mermaid. And, by the way… Have you took of my pants? - He narrowed his eyes and looked at her suspiciously. - Or maybe you were in a fit of unconfessable passion- said roguely.

- You're a damn arrogant, Severus Snape. You are a condemned cynic. I hate you! I see that the whole story of last year was a lie. You do not care, I never meant anything to you!- She got up furiously to leave. He got up faster than she and took her by the hand to hold her back.

- Crap, Lily, I'm sorry. I'm an imbecile with you. I do not know what is happening to me. Your dear Potter threw me out the window of the great hall and luckily there was the lake to stop the blow. Once again they have taken me four to one. It is not even brave to face me alone. I was furious, and without pants, and embarrassed and once again I made you pay. Lily, please. Forgive me this time too.

The redhead had heard all this verbiage, suprisingly. She had let Severus explain, finally, and then there was anger and compassion in his eyes. He felt like shit.

- Your list of pardons is long. Really. That condemned James is an arrogant and a coward, Sev, but at least he does not make me pay. What's more, he adores me and that, at least prevents him from hurting me. Not like others. And now if you allow me (she freed from the hand that still was holding her) this mudblood goes away, because I'm late to my first class.

He ran after her and stood in front, baring his way.

- Lily, please, do not call yourself that. It is awful. - That said he moved away so she could get away from his old friend. He stayed there, standing trying not to be self-pitying. He was too smart to feel sorry for himself, which was a useless sentiment. He had to do something to recover at least the friendship of the girl of his dreams.

- Accio pants!

With all the summer gone, Lily saw things with more distance. He had realized how much he missed his childhood friend, his talks about politics, philosophy, potions, new spells and various future plans once graduated. He missed his sarcastic comments about everything, and above all, his company. More now that Petunia was dating a Muggle who also hated magic and spent the day criticizing her. The relationship with his sister had gotten worse and worse every year.

She was uppset with him but also she felt guilty to have been so angry with him, and in fact, looking back since the 10 years they first met, he had never hurt her, on the contrary: he was attentive and affectionate. A facet of Severus that, she suspected, nobody else knew, because with everyone was cold and distant. Only once had he insulted her, but he told her the worst think which he could have said. She believed him when he said he was sorry. It was the humiliation and public derision that led him to call her Mudblood.

That's why, from the moment he saw him fall from the castle window, she could not take his eyes off him anymore. She thought twice before jumping to rescue him when she saw that he was sinking and was not swimming to the surface. She was more disappointed than angry with him, and she wanted to make him pay. But when she had him laying there, with a placid, pale face, she could not help but forgive him. She was more aware than ever of what she had come to miss. She stroked her hard cheek. How to get angry with that clumsy boy who years ago had become nervous to greet her for the first time?

She was absorbed in looking at the boy until he woke up. He coughed up water and looked at her, more surprised than she was at the situation. There was gratitude in his eyes but his words had been hard. In addition Lily had been excited by the boy's erection, why deny it, but she supposed he was ashamed - which contributed to his attitude. Severus had never known how to treat people, and Lily attributed it to his family situation. She had known as a child what it was to be loved; On the other hand, he had always been alone, mistreated, ignored. His reaction did not hurt her, but she did not want to forgive him for what he had put her through, for forcing her to distance herself from her best friend.

After that, she was absent the rest of the day and that night, she dreamed of him.