Chapter 17 – The one where social media is a nightmare.
Season five premieres on television to raving reviews. Reina and Kavalan finally share the screen again, their chemistry as hot and sizzling as season one, and even though they're currently enemies, the fans are screaming over their every interaction.
"I want someone to look at me the way Kavalan and Reina glower at each other #yesplease"
"I sense an incoming enemies-to-lovers trope. #KavaReina"
"Freyalan is cute, but this season has just reminded me how hot KavaReina is #dead"
"Well, the fans are happy at least," Henry says, scrolling lazily through twitter on his phone as his mother paces the living room. They'd been notified of their next convention date and she hasn't been able to stop freaking out about it since. Henry's sympathetic, he really is, but he's also starting to get sick of the way she winds herself up and ends up giving herself minor panic attacks. He also misses Regina, and this whole drama thing between them is getting in the way of his fantasies of having two parents instead of just one.
"Has Regina tweeted anything?" Emma asks, because she and Regina don't text anymore, not since Regina gave her the cold shoulder at the Orlando con and pulled a disappearing act on the entire cast.
"For the hundredth time, Ma, she hasn't—" Except this time he stops, eyes wide when he finds Regina's twitter page and realizes she has retweeted something for the first time in a week. It's a photo of her and Graham having tea together at a little cafe in... Henry's eyes bulge. The location stamp says Ireland. Regina went to Ireland to have tea with Graham. The caption below the photo is equally as concerning.
"Is #Treina making a comeback in real life? Regina and Graham are looking cute together during an impromptu vacation in Graham's hometown in Ireland!"
"What?" Emma barks when Henry goes silent, staring wide-eyed at the way he quickly turns off his screen and hides it against his chest. "Henry, what?"
"Um, Ma—"
But she's already scrambling for her phone off the coffee table, navigating to Regina's twitter page even as Henry leaps to his feet and tries to grab it from her.
"Ma, wait!"
"Oh." She stares at the photo, shoulders slumping, and Henry grimaces and gently pries the phone from her hand so that she can't keep torturing herself. "Oh. She... and Graham..."
"Hey, we're all friends, aren't we?" Henry tries. "Maybe they just went to catch up over a drink. Ruby and Ivy fly here all the time to visit us."
"She went to Ireland, Henry. She won't even answer my text messages anymore. I think she's made herself pretty clear."
"Ma..." Henry clutches both their cellphones, watching as his mother shuffles down the short hall and disappears into her bedroom, the door clicking shut quietly behind her. He can't remember ever seeing his mother so heartbroken before; in fact, he's never seen his mother heartbroken at all before this. He's always been her main focus. She's had a few brief relationships with men and women alike, but none ever lasted for more than a few weeks at a time, and she'd always been the one to end them, her heart never really in it.
Now her heart's been in it for five years, and Regina has finally broken it clear in half.
'Ma misses you. I miss you too.' He sends the text from his own phone, dropping down onto the couch and awaiting an answer. Regina always replies to him, even if she's elusive when it comes to Emma. Still, it takes a long few minutes for a reply to come in, and when it does, he has to resist the urge to cry at the short, impersonal text from someone he'd really started to see as a second parent.
'I'm sorry, Henry.'
"Can I be blunt?"
The park is quiet after the initial few paparazzi got the shots they wanted and scurried away. Walking arm-in-arm, Regina can feel the stiffness in Graham's body and cranes her head to look at him, watching the harsh shadows play across his face from each street lamp they pass. It's a cool night and his hair is tousled from the occasional breeze. Once, when they'd first started dating for PR purposes and later fell into something of a real relationship, she'd thought him handsome. Now, all she can think is that the nine o'clock shadow on his jaw looks scratchy and uncomfortable, nothing like the soft smoothness of a woman.
She shouldn't think that of a woman, though. She can't. So she leans up and presses a kiss to his stubbled cheek and tries not to wince at the roughness against her lips.
"Of course, Graham. What is it?"
He pulls them to a stop quite suddenly, the two of them standing in the comforting darkness between two street lamps, his face even more shadowed and hard to read as he disentangles their arms and moves to face her directly.
"Why are you here?" His voice is firm and guarded, his arms crossed as if to provide an extra barrier between them, and Regina feels her heart drop into her stomach out of panic, because this was supposed to work. He was supposed to fall for her all over again after a bit of groveling and a lot of flirting, and they were supposed to get back together and look cute for social media. This was supposed to appease Cora.
"What do you mean? You know why I'm here, dear."
Disappointment flickers across his face. She can't even answer the question.
"Let's not lie to ourselves, Regina. You don't want me, and I don't want someone who's in love with someone else."
Regina pales, her breath coming short. "But I do want you, Graham. I miss us."
"You can lie to yourself, but I won't have any part of it." He shakes his head, and there's some resentment in his eyes even if he tries to hide it behind a sad smile. They were never spectacular together by any means, but he'd liked her quite a lot and it still stings, regardless. "I don't know what you were thinking in Orlando, but it's clear you have feelings for Emma. Try not to mess it up, yeah?"
He looks at her with pity and her panic and guilt quickly turns to bitter anger within her belly, stirring uncomfortably in a way that makes her uncertain if she wants to throw up or not. Instead she puffs up, indignant, and curls her lip in a sneer.
"I do not have feelings for Emma!"
"Go home, Regina," he sighs, shaking his head again as he backs away from her, continuing slowly down the path. "Better yet, go to Boston. She won't wait around for you forever."
He disappears into the night, leaving her standing alone in a park in Ireland, more lost and lonely than she's ever felt before.
"Is it just me or do these Kingdom Come panels keep getting more and more uncomfortable?"
"Soooo... What's the deal with Regina and Emma ignoring each other at cons now? #awkward"
"Hey DarkPrinceHenry what's up with ur moms?"
DarkPrinceHenry: Everyone's been super busy. My mom is still great friends with Regina and Ruby. Hope you guys are enjoying season 5!
Henry finally confirms which actress is his mother to all of Twitter, though they still happily refer to him as the Dark Prince of Kingdom Come. Regina used to 'like' every single one of his tweets ever since he got a Twitter account four years ago, but this time she is silent, his subtle rejection of her too much to bear.
The season five finale airs on television, and the fans go absolutely crazy. Social media is on fire, the LGBTQ fandom is pasting rainbow flags and KavaReina gifs all over the internet, and #KavaReina reaches number one on Twitter's top trending hashtags list in a single day. It's impossible to go on the internet and not find pictures, gifs, or video clips of Reina and Kavalan's passionate lip lock.
Everyone is celebrating the long awaited queer romance. Everyone but the actual actresses themselves.
Emma and Regina are all but invisible to each other now, barely interacting except for when they have to talk at panels. And even then, Regina is painfully distant and Emma looks like a kicked puppy, and it's clear to literally everyone that something's gone down between the two lead actresses. Social media is relentless in its theories and rumors, but the LGBTQ fans are pretty sure they know the truth. The gay panic that had ensued after filming the KavaReina kissing scene is too painfully obvious, and since Emma is already out and in a "relationship" with Ruby, Regina is the easy target. A lot of tweets aimed her way are mean now, people calling her out for her sudden chilly attitude towards the KavaReina ship and labeling her a coward, supporting the ship for PR purposes and then dropping it once it's canon. Emma, on the other hand, is being treated like the victim, drowning in her fans' sympathy and supportive tweets when all she wants is for everyone to just shut up and stop talking about it.
"At least you're getting a bunch of cool free loot," Henry offers, trying to look on the bright side. Emma had gotten a fair amount of fanmail and gifts since her first appearance in season one, but it's overflowing now that KavaReina is finally canon. The letters, especially the ones from her young LGBTQ fans, are absolutely heartwarming, and the gifts are all manner of creative and entertaining. She gets mugs and t-shirts and keychains of Kavalan fanart, as well as all sorts of artwork of her character and her ships. There's plenty of Freyalan stuff, of course, but the KavaReina stuff comes in droves. The poor lobby receptionist is starting to look overwhelmed every time Emma goes down to pick up her mail and finds him drowning beneath boxes and boxes of gifts that the production had forwarded to her apartment.
"Yeah, loot that I can't use," Emma grumbles, wrinkling her nose at the rather explicit KavaReina manip on a T-shirt before balling it up and tossing it at his head. "I wish I could speak up on Twitter about all the drama that's been going on with the fans, but Gold was the first one to text me to shut up."
"Really?" Henry can't help but laugh. "He really doesn't like you, huh?"
"Nope. Pretty sure he keeps me around to appease the gays." Emma smiles, but it's half-hearted and bogged down with guilt as she tries not to pay too much attention to the condescending tweets aimed at her co-star. She shouldn't feel guilty though, should she? Regina's the one giving her the cold shoulder without explanation. It's not her fault the fans can see right through them.
"Maybe this next con will be better," Henry says softly, not quite looking up as he sifts through his mother's overflowing pile of fanmail. He doesn't sound convinced, though, even if he tries to be the optimist.
"Yeah, maybe," Emma sighs, saying no more on the matter.
Their last con before they start filming again is in Burbank. As always, fan attendance is at an all time high, their LGBTQ fanbase chomping at the bit for good representation. They're eager to ask questions and rave about the KavaReina reveal and what it means for season six, and Regina and Emma are their big headliners for the weekend, which... makes everything extremely uncomfortable. Not least because Regina is incapable of looking directly at Emma and Emma always looks like she'd rather be anywhere else but there.
"Does this mean KavaReina is endgame?" one young fangirl asks, her question followed by a chorus of cheering and applause. Emma and Regina both plaster on smiles, and though they've been seated side by side again after Gold nearly had a conniption at the drama from the last convention, Regina has been perpetually leaning away from Emma the entire panel.
"We don't know where the story will go because we're not really a part of that process, but I know our writers will do their storyline justice," Regina says, flashing a diplomatic smile. Emma bobs her head.
"Yeah, our showrunner Belle French and her writing team are amazing and we know they'll do an amazing job no matter what happens. I'm excited to see how the Kavalan and Reina dynamic changes."
"What was it like filming that last scene in the finale? Is it weird for you two to kiss when Emma's with Ruby and you're straight?" another fan asks Regina bluntly, with zero regard for either of their personal comfort levels. Regina straightens in her seat, her shoulders tense even as she acts casual, and Emma doesn't really know where to look, eyes nervously flickering back and forth before she finally settles for staring down at the mic in front of her.
"Emma and I are both very professional on set," Regina says, her face carefully blank. "It wasn't weird for any of us. At the end of the day, we're actors doing our jobs."
She doesn't joke or play off of Emma at all— doesn't even look at her, which makes Emma's flustered agreement even more awkward for everyone watching them.
"Yeah, I mean we're all friends off set, so it was really just a usual work day for us!"
Her chuckle sounds forced and Emma quickly retreats into herself, avoiding questions whenever possible in an effort to limit her embarrassment. By the time the panel is over and they're released into the greenroom, her shame has turned to anger. Regina is gone like the wind again, though, hurrying out the door, so she doesn't have a chance to ask her what the hell is going on, not until that night when they've all retreated to their hotel rooms.
"Open the door, I know you're in there," Emma demands, rapping loudly at Regina's door. It's ten o'clock at night after a very long autograph session that had gone two hours overtime, and she knows Regina will do anything to avoid a scene. She doesn't expect the door to rip open and for the brunette to greet her with an angry snarl, however.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Regina hisses, blocking the door with her body as if expecting an intrusion. Emma pales at the sheer fury radiating from someone she'd once thought of as her best friend, but she's already here and she's sick of the way social media gossips about them and all she wants to know is why.
"We need to talk," she says quietly, giving Regina the option of inviting her in for more privacy. The older woman looks suddenly terrified, though; gripping the door and the door frame with both white-knuckled hands as if they were the only thing anchoring her to the earth.
"I don't think that's a good idea," is her stiff reply, but Emma frowns and shifts closer, causing Regina to jerk back and retreat into her room, as if repelled by her very proximity. Emma takes advantage of the fact and quickly steps inside, shutting the door behind her and then holding her hands up in the air. She doesn't want to frighten or intimidate the other woman, but she needs answers.
"Please, Regina, just talk to me. What happened to us?" It's soft, a pleading request that has Regina reeling only momentarily before she finds a shred of anger and latches onto it.
"There is no us," she snaps, dark eyes burning in the dimness of her hotel room. The lights are off and her windows are open, the room illuminated only by the moonlight. She looks smaller, somehow, pale and fragile in the silvery blue hue. Emma sniffs, mouth dry, eyes suspiciously shiny.
"We were friends, Regina. You were... you were my best friend. I know you're not gay and I respect that, and I'm sorry if the scene we filmed made you uncomfortable. I just hoped you would have talked to me about it instead of... all this."
She gestures vaguely around at them, the tense weirdness about them, and then drops her arms to her sides in defeat.
"What did I do wrong?" she finally asks, voice small, because of course it has to be her fault. She must have done something to upset Regina. She has to be the reason Regina's trying to shake her off like an unwanted nuisance. That heartbreaking lack of self esteem in those mossy green eyes, usually so tough and callous, now hurt and insecure, is what wrenches a guilty cry from Regina's lips.
"Emma, no," she says, surging forward in a moment of despair, aching at the thought that she has caused this strong, defiant woman to wilt in defeat. That Emma could have fought tooth and nail to get to such a good place in her life, only for Regina to beat her down by rendering their five year friendship into nothing more than a job. "Emma, I'm sorry. I... It's not you. I couldn't... I had to. I'm so sorry."
"Had to what? What's wrong? Let me help you. Please."
Regina cups her face at the same time Emma's hands land on her waist, and up close the sheen of tears in both their eyes is painfully obvious, the twitch of lips and the tremble of their chins.
"You can't," Regina breathes out in despair, and she aches to tell Emma everything, to explain what's happened, but another part of her holds back out of fear, knowing she'll be judged, knowing that Emma would only jeopardize her own career in a misguided attempt to protect her. Emma will try to save her and Cora will destroy them both. "You can't, Emma. Please, you need to let me go. It's what's best for both of us."
"But why?" Emma's hands tighten on her waist, instinctively pulling her closer, and Regina melts into her embrace even as she screams at herself to pull away now before it's too late. "Regina, I... I love you."
The admission knocks the air from Regina's lungs, and she gapes and tries to come up with something to say, but Emma holds her ever closer and forges onwards. "I love you, and it's okay if you don't feel the same. But you're my best friend and I can't... I can't let you go if you won't give me a real reason why. Please, Regina, we can carry on as friends if you want, that's more than enough for me. I just want you to be happy—"
Later she'll say it was Emma who started it. She'll deny it with her last breath. But Regina is the one to lurch forward with a stifled sob, lips crashing against Emma's mid-sentence and pulling her in desperately. Shaking hands bury deep into blonde hair, fingernails scraping against scalp as strong, muscular arms fully encircle her body and steady her on her feet. The kiss is rough and messy and drowning them both with the intensity of their passion, not unlike the desperate kiss they'd shared on screen, and it isn't until a tongue sweeps at the roof of her mouth and coaxes a whimper from her that Regina is jarringly brought back to reality.
She turns her head away to break the kiss, stumbling backwards with the slightest of pushes, and Emma lets her go with a confused, hopeful expression brightening her face. It's cruel of her to have indulged before ending this, Regina knows that, but she supposes she has always been self destructive and manipulative, just the way Cora has raised her to be.
"We can't," she gasps, watching the understanding dawn in those green eyes, once bright and vibrant, now growing dim and dull in the darkness. "I'm sorry, Emma. We can't. We can't ever..."
"You do have feelings for me," Emma says quietly in realization, but it's tinged with despair, already anticipating what Regina's going to say. "Why are you pushing me away? Are you afraid of coming out to your fans?"
Regina's eyes flutter shut, sucking in a much needed breath to steady herself. "Please don't ask me."
"I won't give up on you until you tell me why."
Pushing. She should know better than to push. But this, them, means too much for her to give up on Regina without an honest answer as to why. It's the least she deserves, if this is how they're to end after all they've been through together.
Regina doesn't respond. Not for a long minute. Then she opens her eyes, once warm brown orbs now hard and resolute, and she even manages to speak in a firm, steady voice that has Emma's heart sinking and sinking until it settles at the bottom of her stomach like a cold, hard pit.
"I've worked too hard to have my career destroyed over a gay scandal," she says blankly, her mother's words playing through her mind, and the betrayal on Emma's pale face lasts but for a moment before she swipes at her damp eyes and twists her mouth into an angry line.
"You're a coward," Emma says, and then she turns and leaves and slams the door shut behind her, leaving Regina alone in her dark, empty hotel room. It's only until after she hears Emma's door slam shut halfway down the hall that she allows herself to sink to the floor and cry.
