Not Dreaming
A/N: So… This was originally planned to be chapter 8, but then you all know what got in the way of that. But…that meant that this chapter was more or less done when I posted the other. And after a couple days computer trouble…here it is!
Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed this! A bunch of hugs to all of you! :D
Chapter 9. Crazy Normalcy
He was back at Yale again, this time actually knowing where he was going and what to expect when he got there. He was picking Rory up on his way to Stars Hollow. That's why he at the moment was leaning against a wall outside a class room waiting for the door to open. He had been standing there for the past hour or so, more or less staring at the opposite wall, cursing himself for not bringing anything to read with him.
He hadn't been able to sleep that morning and finally given up and gotten up at six. Well aware that her class didn't let out until one in the afternoon he had still left his apartment an hour later. That's why he had been there at half past eleven, despite traffic around New York and a stop to eat on the way. And that's why he was starting to get more and more annoyed at the clock that just seemed to go slower and slower the longer he stood there.
The thought of doing something in the mean time, or at least get a book from the car, had crossed his mind, but he had dismissed them just as fast as they appeared. What if the class let out early? What if he missed her? What if he didn't find his way back? Okay, so they were all pretty stupid reasons, but reasons none the less. And they kept him firmly in place, leaning against that wall.
Another five minutes had passed and it was only about fifteen minutes of waiting left, assuming the class let out in time. He didn't think he could stand the waiting much longer. He had never been good at waiting. Once in a while students walked by, alone or in groups, and looked at him curiously, as if to see what he was doing there. He guessed he didn't exactly look like he belonged; that's at least how he felt. He shrugged the thought off and ignored the others as they passed by.
The long wait had left him with plenty of time to think. That was about the only thing there was to do anyway. At the moment the primary thought in his mind was once again the reason for this visit. He still couldn't really grasp the idea and it had now been a couple days since Luke asked him. Him of all people. Of course he had said yes, how could he not? After everything Luke had done for him, after all the crap he put him through. That didn't mean it made any more sense though.
On the upper hand it did present a good reason to go to Stars Hollow. Not that he needed one, but the guys at work would probably like an actual excuse better than the alternative. At second thought he wasn't sure though, since they had seemed to be extremely interested in all the details concerning his private life. After the week in New York they had been hanging after him and asking too many questions he didn't want to answer. And since he brought Rory to work their questions had, if possible, been even more impertinent.
He had to admit it was a step up from them dragging him out to meet their girlfriends' friends though. During his time with them he had developed a slight loathing for anything involving the word 'blind'. Especially if it was combined with the word 'date'.
Of course, they were never officially blind dates. Sometimes there just happened to be an extra girl tagging along. And then he just happened to end up beside her. And the others just happened to remember something else they had to do. And it always led to a lot of awkward silence and some mindless small talk on her part before he ended up leaving early. He just couldn't make himself even seem interested. To be honest he didn't think he would recognize any of them if he ran into them somewhere.
Thankfully those nights had come to an end after his last visit to Stars Hollow. After he came back, unable to stop smiling and looking like he was actually happy for once, they had started to focus all of their energy on finding out anything they could about the reason for his mood change. They were starting to get more and more annoyed by his lack of answers and his vacation in New York hadn't helped at all. He wasn't sure if Rory's visit had really helped either. The constant stream of questions had only changed character a bit, and not for the better.
And now he was using his uncle's upcoming wedding as an excuse to go to Stars Hollow. Of course it wasn't all an excuse, he actually wanted to be there for Luke. That he would see Rory was just a bonus, granted a really big one, but not the main reason he was going. Right? Okay, so maybe it was, but who needed to know that?
And it didn't matter that it was still almost two months to the actual wedding day. It didn't matter that he didn't really have to help out with the planning, at least not beyond organizing a bachelor party for Luke.
The door in front of him suddenly opened and a flood of students came bursting out. Everyone looked a bit relieved that the lecture was over, perhaps the last for the week. Keeping his relaxed stance against the wall he scanned the faces in search of the only one he wanted to see. She appeared in the middle of the hoard and he smiled despite his efforts. His smile grew wider when her eyes lit up as she spotted him.
He soon found himself pressed up against the wall, caught in a passionate kiss. Though a bit startled by her more than warm greeting he wasn't going to complain. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her even closer and deepened the kiss. It wasn't until several minutes later, when the kiss had slowed down, that he noticed the people staring at them. Ignoring them he broke the kiss, still holding her close and looked into her eyes, catching his breath.
"Hi," she said, smiling at him, her hands leisurely playing with the hair at his neck, enjoying the soft feeling.
"Hi," he echoed before closing his eyes again and capturing her lips in a soft kiss, a hand gently caressing her cheek. He smiled into the kiss as she almost seemed to melt in his arms and tightened his hold of her.
Eventually they loosened their hold of each other and she blushed as she for the first time noticed that they were far from alone in the hallway. She buried her face in his chest, wanting to close out the rest of the world for a little while longer.
"I thought you'd come to my dorm later," she said, head still more or less buried in his jacket. "Not that I'm complaining that you're here…" she added quickly, as to not sound ungrateful.
"I kinda gathered that," he said, an obvious smile in his voice. "And I couldn't sleep this morning," he offered as an explanation after a second.
"How long have you been here?" she asked, finally pulling back to actually look at him. Seeing the almost embarrassed look in his eyes she smiled knowingly to herself. "You've been here at least an hour, haven't you," she said, more a statement than a question and she only had to look into his eyes to see the answer. "Good thing the lecture ended in time then," she concluded, smiling brightly and kissing him on the cheek.
He smiled back at her and then looked around them briefly, frowning a little. "Maybe we should get out of here, before we become a permanent attraction," he suggested, pointing to the students walking by, all of them trying not to appear to be looking.
"Okay," she agreed, once again feeling her cheeks coloring, and took a small step back, releasing her hold of him. She was just about to turn in the direction of her dorm when she suddenly remembered something. "Where are my books?" she asked, sounding just as confused as she was.
"No idea," he said, taking a step towards her, ready to follow, when his foot hit something on the floor. Looking down he smirked at the sight. "Um, they yours?" he asked, pointing towards the books strewn over the floor, the smirk growing wider.
Not answering she looked down, startled by the sight. She couldn't even remember dropping them, but obviously she had. Hurriedly she crouched down to pick them up, for the third time feeling herself reddening. She smiled at him, feeling a bit embarrassed, as he bent down to help her gather the books scattered around them.
When they ten minutes later entered her dorm room they were both laughing. They had picked the books up and hurried out of the hallway, away from the curious and amused stares of the passing students. Hand in hand they had almost run all the way, trying not to laugh at the situation, but not succeeding.
Once inside they managed to maneuver themselves to the couch before falling down on it, laughing uncontrollably. It took almost another ten minutes before they had sobered up enough to catch their breath. At that point she was more or less lying on top of him, her head automatically finding its favorite resting place on his shoulder.
"I can't believe you dropped your books," he said, shifting a little to find a more comfortable position and tangling a hand in her hair.
"I had other things on my mind," she mumbled, still a bit embarrassed about that. "You should feel flattered."
"Oh, I do," he said, the smirk evident in his voice.
It took them another hour before they were on their way to Stars Hollow, most of which had been spent on that couch. It had been a phone call from Lorelai that finally made them get up. They hurriedly threw some of her things into a bag, grabbed a doughnut each and scrambled into his car, once in a while stealing a kiss.
Almost as soon as they arrived in town they were greeted by Lorelai and all of a sudden he remembered what exactly Luke had said they would be doing that weekend. He hadn't paid that much attention to the details of the visit after the split second it took for him to agree on coming. Parking the car outside Luke's he wished he had. They were trying out clothes for the wedding.
He sighed as he got out of the car, receiving a glare from Rory. Smirking back at her he watched her almost run into Lorelai's waiting arms. Slowly he made his way around the car, still not entirely sure what to expect from Lorelai. He wasn't quite prepared for the mischievous smile she directed at him once she had released her daughter. When Rory blushed as she met his questioning gaze he suddenly realized that Lorelai probably knew a lot more than he wanted her to about the developments of their relationship.
Groaning inwardly and trying to ignore the uncomfortable feeling the knowledge gave him he met Lorelai's smile with a matching smirk. Just for the sake of it he added a 'Huh' before walking up to them and carelessly draping an arm over Rory's shoulders. At Lorelai's baffled expression he turned the smirk into an innocent smile, raising his hands in defense. Sensing a movement beside him he quickly took a step to the side, avoiding Rory's elbow from hitting him in the side.
"Sorry, too tempting," he said, trying not to laugh.
Lorelai stared at him for a couple of seconds before shaking her head, mumbling something under her breath. Still shaking her head and with a wondering look at her daughter she then stalked off to the diner. Still laughing he waited until she was inside before turning to Rory, who was still standing beside him.
"You just had to, hadn't you?" she asked, trying to sound annoyed, but not completely able to keep the laughter out of her voice and amusement out of her eyes.
"I had to do something," he defended himself. "I can't just stand by and let you two talk about me behind my back without returning the favor in some way." He looked back at her with an innocent smile that could almost be real and she couldn't hold back her laughter any more.
"I missed you," she said when she could breathe again and gave him a kiss on the cheek before dragging him with her into the diner.
When they entered Lorelai was already sitting at the counter with a large cup of coffee in front of her. She was in the middle of complaining about the past events to Luke, who tried to ignore her while taking a customer's order. Still laughing they sat down at the counter, receiving a frown from Luke and an offended snort from Lorelai. Neither of them seemed to notice though as he went to get them each a cup of coffee.
Lorelai eventually recovered and all four of them spent the evening together watching movies, eating too much junk food, to Luke's dismay, and talking. It took him a while to identify the strange feeling he got as the evening wore on. Finally he decided that it was a feeling of belonging, being a part of something. He finally felt like he had a family, granted a very strange one, but a family none the less. Of course there was still awkwardness between him and Lorelai, he doubted it would ever go away completely, but they had both agreed on trying to start over.
When the last movie ended Luke had long since gone to bed, tired after a long day at work. Beside him Rory was beginning to doze off too and he gently nudged her to wake her up while Lorelai went to shut off the TV. When Rory didn't show any signs of either wanting to wake up or let go of him he looked up at Lorelai questioningly.
Although they were both far from kids anymore he still felt like he should ask before he stayed over. Lorelai didn't seem to have any objections on them being together this time, but he really didn't feel like taking any chances. With a nod and a barely contained laugh Lorelai went up the stairs and he picked up Rory from the couch and carried her to her room.
Getting them both more suitable dressed for bed proved to be harder than expected. He was almost convinced she was being difficult on purpose. He didn't really look forward to spending the night on her small bed either, but it was a lot better than the couch. And the alternative would have been going back to the diner alone and that definitely wasn't appealing. He finally managed to lay them both down under the cover and she immediately snuggled up against him. Smiling into her hair he settled in comfortably and soon they were both asleep.
The next day he soon discovered that finding clothes that both Gilmore's could agree on would be a tedious business. Normally he didn't care that much how they looked, as long as they weren't pink or had any holes that shouldn't be there. Okay, maybe he cared more than that, but this was just ridiculous.
They had spent five hours of futile searching making both him and Luke all but ready for mutiny. Not only had they been forced to go through countless of stores with far too arrogant personnel. They had also had to try numerous of different suits, tail coats and every other kind of clothing they could think of.
And nothing had been good enough. There was always something that wasn't quite right. Maybe a seam could have been done better. The color was slightly the wrong shade of black. The pockets might be too small, or too big. And if there wasn't anything wrong with the clothes the problem was that it didn't fit both of them. Several times he had thought about just refusing to go into the next store, but one look at the expressions on their faces and he gave in again.
He was in the middle of contemplating how long it would take the latest clerk to have a complete meltdown when he was interrupted by a loud shriek. Almost jumping out of his skin from the shock he turned around to find his girlfriend and her mother happily dancing, or at least trying to, between the displays of clothes. Apparently they had finally decided on something. Letting out a breath of relief he hurried to get into his own clothes, not wanting to have to wear the latest suit any longer than necessary.
He still had no idea what they had picked from everything he had tried on that day. To him everything looked more or less the same. He was silently convinced that this whole day had just been arranged to amuse the Gilmore's. Not that he didn't want them to be happy or have fun, but he wasn't that fond of the idea that it was on his expense.
When they returned to Stars Hollow he was relieved to hear that there wouldn't be any more clothes searching that weekend. Not caring about the protests from Lorelai he took Rory's hand and pulled her with him up to the apartment above the diner. Once the door was securely closed and locked he breathed a sigh of relief. Still holding her hand he collapsed on the couch, dragging her with him in the fall.
She landed on top of him, giggling at his exaggerated manifestation of exhaustion. When he didn't seem to react she decided to try another approach. Carefully she moved her hand to his waist and let it lay there for a couple seconds, watching him for any sign that he knew what she was up to. Deciding that it was worth a try she quickly started tickling him, still able to find all the right spots.
She didn't get to do it for long though before she found herself pinned down against the couch, her hands firmly held in one of his above her head and his face less than an inch from hers. She had no idea how she ended up there. He smirked down at her and she could feel his other hand travel down her body before slowing down just below her lower ribs. She squirmed to try and get away, but it was no use. It wasn't long before she was begging him to stop and laughing too hard to catch her breath.
When he finally stopped tickling her and she had been able to catch her breath she looked up at him seriously. "Did you ever just have fun when you were a kid?" she asked after contemplating the question for a while.
Surprised by her question he released her from his grasp and sat up on the couch. "What do you mean?" he asked, not sure what she was asking for and not entirely sure how to answer.
"Just…I've been thinking and I can't remember you saying anything about any friends or just being a kid, having fun. Like us just now?" she asked, raising herself beside him.
"I don't know," he said, trying to think of anything, some hidden memory somewhere. "Not really, no," he concluded after a minute.
"You didn't ever have pillow fights, built snow men or played hide and seek?" she asked, trying to wrap her mind over the idea of never having done any of it.
"I don't think so," he said uncertainly. "I mean, I didn't really know any other kids my age until I started school and by that time I was too used to being by myself that I didn't think I needed them. I spent the breaks reading in a corner and went to the bookstore after school." He stopped, thinking for a second again. "Why do you ask?" he wondered, looking at her a bit curiously.
"I don't know really. It just bugged me, I guess," she said, trying to explain what she meant. "I mean, I was always grown up for my age, except last year maybe, but mom always made sure that I had time to be a kid and have fun."
"But I had fun in my corner," he said and pulled her closer to kiss her forehead softly. "I don't think I felt like I missed out on anything. I had my own adventures through all the books I read."
"But you never…" she began, but was cut off as he kissed her. "I just…" she tried when they broke away for a second, but he smiled and silenced her with another kiss. Realizing he wouldn't allow her to talk about it more, at least for the time being, she gave in and kissed him back, for the moment forgetting her previous thoughts.
Later that evening they went down to the diner for dinner and the rest of the night was spent much like the last. When he sat there on the couch, with Rory snuggled up against him and crying over the end of the movie, he admitted to himself for maybe the first time that he liked this. The utter normalcy of it actually made him happy. And he gradually started to understand the underlying meaning in Rory's question from earlier in the evening.
"You'll have to teach me how to make a snow man some time," he whispered to her, quietly enough that neither Luke nor Lorelai could hear it.
She looked up at him with a bright smile, the movie instantly forgotten, and kissed him sweetly on the cheek. "I'd love to," she whispered back.
"Although, come to think of it, tearing them down is actually quite fun," he whispered, smirking at her.
"Oh, I bet you had fun," she smiled back. "I never did thank you for that, did I?" she asked.
"Nope, you didn't," he confirmed, his smirk growing.
That night they went back to the diner after he had refused to once again be woken up by Lorelai walking into the room in the morning. That was one experience he very well could do without. Granted, they weren't doing anything other than sleeping, but it was still not his ideal wake up call. She hadn't seemed to enjoy it much more than he did.
Before they went he was pulled to the side by a nervous looking Luke. Watching him curiously he followed his uncle into the kitchen where they proceeded to stand quietly, just watching each other for at least a minute. Finally he couldn't take the weird silence any longer and cleared his throat, raising an eyebrow questioningly.
"Right…" Luke began, sounding a bit unsure. "I just wanted to thank you for doing this. You know, putting up with all of Lorelai's stupid ideas and all that. It means a lot to me that you're doing this," he said, smiling a little.
"It's the least I could do," he said, trying to lessen the importance. It felt strange to have someone feel grateful for something he did. He definitely wasn't used to that feeling. "Besides, someone has to keep you sane in all of this, right?" he smirked back, marveling at how good this felt.
Luke nodded a little at him and they stood there for a while just watching each other again. Neither of them really knew what to say, they had never been good with words. But somehow words didn't seem that important. That silent exchange said more than they had ever been able to say before. Finally Luke smiled again and they both nodded a little and exchanged a hug. With a final smirk he turned back to the living room and said good night to Lorelai before he and Rory left for the diner.
"You do know you have to dance, right?" she asked suddenly the next day as they were on their way back to Yale.
"Did you have to remind me?" he groaned, glaring at her. "Isn't it bad enough that I have to wear a suit and hold a speech? Not to mention that I'll inevitably meet your grandparents?" he asked in a pathetically whiny voice that made her laugh. At his last words she went silent though. "They are coming right? I mean, you've hardly talked about them at all in these past months." He looked over at her questioningly, not sure if it was the right thing to bring it up.
"I don't know actually," she began hesitantly after a long silence. "Mom has hardly talked to them in almost a year, at least not to grandma. I think they're invited, but I don't know. They haven't said anything. Everything is still rather strange after my living there and everything that happened. I've been to a couple Friday night dinner's, but we haven't made it a regular thing again. At least not yet. I don't know if we ever will. It's just awkward, with grandma almost trying to change me into her new daughter or something. I don't know. I guess we'll just have to see." She went quiet again.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "You want to talk about it? I know I'm not their biggest fan, or they mine, at least not your grandmother. I can't really say anything about your grandfather, since I've never officially met him, but… Just, if you want to talk about it, you can. You know that, right?" he said, looking over at her reassuringly and taking her hand in his, squeezing it lightly.
"Yes, I know," she said, offering a small smile. "Thank you. I just need to think about it, or rather not think about it maybe. I don't know. But thank you," she smiled gratefully.
"So, what should we do with the rest of this day?" he asked casually, not so subtly changing the subject. "I don't have to get back for another couple of hours."
"My dorm is all empty tonight…" she said, smiling at him, a light blush coloring her cheeks. He smiled back at her and raised her hand, still in his, to his lips, kissing it gently and turned into the parking place.
