STORY WARNINGS:
–Yaoi – Male/Male.
– Rating: Mature. ADULTS ONLY. Contains coarse language, explicit sexual content both consensual/non-consensual, forced/willing submission, bondage, BDSM, edging, safewords, aftercare, rimming, flogging, anal orgasm, graphic violence, torture, adult themes, public display of affection, guilty pleasure fantasy where you want someone to be a bit too forceful, BAMF Takaba Akihito, BAMF Hacker Takaba Akihito.
A/N: I've gone and done it. Too much? I feel like I've asked that before. (๑→‿←๑) Ah well, too late to take it back now! As ever I worry if I've missed the mark, characterization, content, these two...! I want to hide... (#^^#)ゞ
There seem to be a hundred and one wild and exciting theories about Akihito, but it's actually rather simple. A few have hit the nail on the head but I'm slightly worried I'm going to disappoint some of you... (⁎˃ᆺ˂) Though hopefully not! I also originally wanted to time this post with the right time of year, but I suspect I wouldn't be very popular if I waited that long! Lol.
I can't believe we've really arrived at the penultimate chapter... 。・゚(゚ω゚)゚・。 But there's still one more chapter to go! An epilogue, but you know me, it'll be a hefty one. There's a lot going on with my family at the moment so I have to warn you that it'll probably take a month. It's also why I haven't been able to reply to a lot of reviews – as my writing time has been limited recently, I've been focusing mainly on this udpate – I hope you'll understand. Thank you for all your kind comments, I've appreciated and treasured every one!
Heed the story warnings please! I'll throw in NSFW too. Hide your screens. Don't read with other people around unless you've got your poker faces at the ready. *wink wink wink* Get the picture? (^_-)
(Oh, and for disclaimer purposes, the brand mentioned is real! No joke. You'll see when you get there.)
I hope you enjoy reading this half as much as I enjoyed writing it! Here goes. Everything.
~ Nyx ~
DISCLAIMER: The Finder series and all recognisable characters belong to Yamane Ayano sensei.
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Chapter 28. Everything
It raced across Akihito's back like a thousand tiny pin pricks. Stifling the air with command and power, so thick it was tangible, that presence. It permeated even amongst the growing scatter of people, as leather soles crunched the compacted gravel path, as the shift in the air carried the bitterness of Dunhill.
Bathed in the low setting sun, sat atop the metal mooring, Akihito's breath fluttered. "Asami..."
Six hours earlier.
It was the same stained concrete exterior, the dusty air conditioning vents, the grimy windows. The apartment building hadn't changed, other than one section smack bang in the middle of the third floor where someone had slapped in a new wall. Evidently some of the bullets had gone that far.
Akihito knew where the landlady kept the spare master key. He coaxed it out from behind the rain pipe, brushed off the street dust. Checking that there was no new name on the letterbox yet, he let himself in.
Akihito had never seen the apartment so new. Or empty. New veneer flooring, new plastering, new economy furniture. And nothing personal to speak of, with the place not rented out again yet. The landlady was probably holding out for higher rent, citing the refurb.
A first, in many ways. The first place he'd called his place, living without flatmates. The first place his parents had never helped out with rent. The first place he'd brought a girl home. But not Risa, he'd known not to bring Risa somewhere so rundown. Then there was Asami...
It was convoluted, thinking back on that time now. So much fear. Fear of Asami, the secrets he'd tried so hard to keep, believing Asami would kill him for them. But then one blink (and a whole lot of Argh! in between...), and all hell had broken loose and Asami had been the only thing standing between being alive and being a memory.
The sex – had been more than sex. It had far transcended the physical. Bound and crying, feeling like it was more than he could take, but looking back on it now it was more from the mind-blanking intensity he'd never experienced before. He hadn't physically been hurt. Of course being taken for the first time was a major biggie, but it was also Asami being... well, Asami. There was nothing small or mediocre about the man, in any shape or form or addictive presence or masterful handling of Akihito's body and psyche. Asami had been reading him even then, what he responded to, what he genuinely recoiled from, adjusting every step of the way and completely blowing him away. It was a right mixed bag – yes, he'd been drawn to Asami from the start, to be brutally honest, but the fact remained that he hadn't consented. Then again his objections were grounded in what he'd believed Asami to be, when it turned out that he hadn't known Asami at all. It wasn't ok, but it had turned out ok. What the fuck was he supposed to do with that?
There was no bed in the bedroom. But there was the wall. Oh so slowly, momentous as though he was about to trigger some unstoppable sequence to criticality instead of the simple act that it was, he placed his palm on the cold surface. Never mind the fresh lick of white paint, he could still vividly recall the faint yellowing of age, the wall where Asami had pressed into him and shielded him from death. From bullets. From gunmen. From the arm locked about his neck.
What if Asami hadn't been here? What if –
Akihito squelched down on such thoughts. He wouldn't lose himself in a downward spiral.
You, me, here. This is the reality, Akihito.
No what ifs. Only what was. They'd each given a bit of themselves to the other that night – yes, Asami too – and they'd both walked out alive. All small pieces of significance. All a part of Akihito now. And he was stronger for it. Stronger than the fear.
Akihito closed the front door and walked away.
Street vendors were putting up stalls, deliverymen with their heavy duty white gloves rushed by with L-shaped luggage trolleys and boxes. Lights and lanterns were going up all around the giant parkland. Preparations were in full flow for the hatsumode [first shrine visit of the year] that evening, readying for thousands of people to descend on the local temple to usher in the New Year with the gargantuan bell booming 108 times. In another area of the park an A-list band and multiple support acts were lined up for the makeshift stage. Fireworks were set to light up the Bay.
Akihito was an island. In the midst of the hive of busy people with purpose, he sat motionless and alone at the water's edge. He was pretty sure these moorings were just decorative antiques, dotted along the built-up path around the parkland. There were no boats tied to any of them around this little corner of Tokyo Bay. Akihito's particular lump of metal was shaped like a wide toadstool, wide enough that he could sit cross-legged if he balanced right. He could almost imagine he was meditating on a mountain top in Shangri La.
Except he was looking at the charred ruins of the burned-out dockyard across the water. The area was still fenced and cordoned off and he hadn't been able to get in. So he sat here and stared across the water reflecting silver in the midday Winter sun, at the dock crumbling into it, surrounded by orange safety meshing, the charred skeletons of outbuildings in jagged relief against the singed cargo crates.
It had taken a long time just to bring himself to look at the destruction. It was every bit as unpleasant as he'd thought it would be. Asami had been in that water, as had Suoh and Sagano and Nakatani. Akihito had been there too, though that was almost an afterthought. It was where Asami had so nearly been ruined, because Akihito had been weighed, measured... and found wanted.
He stirred at the buzzing in his pocket. There had been a few now. He'd blocked himself so he couldn't be found – not yet – but every time Asami called, there'd be a different message.
I know you said 'emergencies only' but I just needed a moment, ok? I closed up the hidden exit behind me again so it's all secure. And don't blame Blond Tank, it's my fault for asking about a back way, it was just coincidence that the elevators happened to lead from the door you showed me, that's all. And... I'm ok. I just need to think some things over. I'll be back later ok?
I'm still here. I've set Artemis to track my signal and you'll hear from her if anything happens to me, which it won't, so you can stop looming at me through the phone, ok? Go back to your evil finger pyramid tapping.
I have to do this. Don't you have any more fascinating reports from Glasses to read?
Ok, I need to think, ok? Just give me a bit more time, Asami. We're good so just try and chill. I'm not recording any more messages.
Are you worrying? In your gloomy glowery way? Time to turn that misery mouth upside down into a smile! There it is…
How many of these do I need to do? Ok. Last one. Really this time. I'll call, ok? Or I'll be back. As in, I'll be back anyway but I might call as well. You know what I mean. (Ugh... How do you record over on these things...?)
– *beeep* –
He knew Asami wasn't going to be best pleased being kept away like this but Akihito needed time to grab the bull by the horns and face this. As much as Asami helped and distracted, that was also why Akihito found himself here.
No more distractions. No more telling himself he was totally over it all when it still reared its ugly head when he least expected it, and he still couldn't look this in the eye and tell it to fuck the hell off. So that's what he was doing, sitting here and staring across the bay. He looked each fear in the face, acknowledged it, understood it, let it pass. And onto the next.
It was some hours later that he reached for his phone.
"You're smoking."
Wisps of white curled around him. Asami hadn't smoked since that night, Akihito realized incredibly. At least not that he could tell. Was it for his lungs?
Asami didn't comment. Standing at Akihito's back, he burned through the cigarette. He wasn't pressed against Akihito but it was close, close enough for their jackets to brush with every inhale. Close enough for Akihito to feel the aura like the nudge of opposing magnets.
With a last puff of smoke, Asami stubbed the cigarette out underfoot. "Suoh isn't best pleased with you," he said at last. Cool. Damning.
Akihito scrunched his face. "I figured." He knew he'd have to speak to the big guy later. Apologize. He picked at his laces. "But... that's not what we need to talk about, is it? We've put it off all this time and I don't – we need to talk, but I don't know..."
"Jump straight in, by all means," Asami snapped, surprisingly bitter. "Where should we start? How you spurn me or how I failed you?"
"You – what... What?!" Akihito shook his head, totally confused. Limbs flapping, one leg dangling, he half turned around on the mooring. He almost fell off at the face of doom looming over him. "Way to hit me outa the blue, Asami." Akihito shuffled all the way around. Asami didn't budge and Akihito had to pull one foot up to take it over, his knees on either side of Asami so he could look at the tall man properly. "Don't tell me this is why you've been weird? Fucking hell, if only I'd known..."
"Weird?"
"Reserved," Akihito clarified. "Holding back. Not being grabby at every unsuitable opportunity. And I've seen that look you get sometimes when you're cleaning your gun, like you're seeing a ghost. And want to kill it all over again. Like I said, weird. But, seriously, you couldn't be more wrong. I'm actually gobsmacked how far off the mark you are 'cos you're – uh, I wouldn't say always right but you're usually a lot more spot on. I'm only here facing my demons, or something like that. You know – new year, new start, goodbye nightmares. All that good stuff."
Akihito couldn't quite meet his eyes. Glancing around, that was when he noticed that the park was busier and noisier now, friends and couples and families gathering, some eating takoyaki and taiyaki. There were some women and girls wearing beautiful kimono. A couple of men too, in more sombre hues. Music boomed somewhere far off. The wide semicircle of bodyguards facing outwards had cleared the immediate vicinity but that also drew more curious glances. There were people further along the built-up water's edge taking pictures of the ruined docks. It was a tourist attraction now, was it?
"You're too distracting," Akihito dared to admit 'cos they clearly had some colossal crossing of lines going on. "I end up relying on you too much. That's why I had to strike out on my own, just for a day. I left messages 'cos I knew you'd worry but I would've been back this evening. I mean, we can't miss the New Year fireworks, can we? Geez, where on earth did you get spurning or failing from?"
The chiselled jaw was so tense Akihito imagined Asami's teeth must have been hurting.
"I didn't protect you," Asami hissed. "I swore. But you were–" He broke himself off, snapped his head aside, his jaw closed even tighter.
Akihito drew back because he suddenly saw it like a wounded lion was snarling in his face. Fuck, Asami... Asami was hurting. Such harsh self-recrimination. And to think he'd carried that all this time, and winding himself up about it all day when Akihito had snuck off...
Akihito didn't know how he could ache more now than he did at the docks.
He snagged the black coat, a subtle gesture down by his knees where his hands were because they were in full view of everyone. He tugged but he might as well have been reaching for a boulder. Asami remained rooted.
"I'm only here now 'cos of you," Akihito insisted with quiet conviction. But if anything, Asami's expression only darkened. "I remember. You probably think I don't but I do. Flashes. Bits and pieces. I keep dreaming about it. I know you're the one who pulled me out of the water."
"After you were hurt," Asami rebutted.
Frustration flashed through Akihito at Asami's obstinacy and he practically growled, even as he dropped his voice. "Remember all those people taking a shot at me? Not to mention you confessed to murder to the whole world for my sake! I mean, who does that!"
"You shouldn't read so much into it," Asami dismissed coolly. "Wakajima was a raving psychotic one blade away from taking your life. It wouldn't have been admissible."
"And you shouldn't belittle it so much!" Akihito threw right back, fierce in defending what he knew Asami had done for him. "That raving psychotic was right about one thing, it would've raised serious question marks. Enough to hit future investigations. Maybe even reopen old cases. Chief Matsui can't stem the entire nation's police force, you know. You would've been up shit's creek. You know it too. But you still did it."
Eyes just a smidgen wide, Asami seemed taken aback at Akihito's vehemence.
One of Akihito's legs swung against the mooring. "This really wasn't 'cos of anything you did, ok? I was reclaiming my mojo. No more moping around. 'Cos I haven't told you or thanked you or anything but... I'm stronger with you. And not just that night either. It's always like that."
"You make that sound like a problem."
"It's not. It's just no use when I'm not with you, is it? And don't say you won't let me out of your sight then or anything else equally ridiculous," Akihito added before Asami could suggest precisely that. Akihito caught the guilty amusement – "You were going to! Geez..."
Rolling his eyes, Akihito half turned his back, bending a leg up, still balancing on the mooring. He took in the crumbling docks. The water was darker now. More like that night.
"I had to know I could do it. To come here. To look at that place again and be alright." The hazel gaze hardened across the water, the determination unshakable. "'Cos I can't freeze up if anything happens again. I can't be all useless and needing you and your band of merry men to save my sorry ass every time and put you all at more risk. I won't."
Something warm, something hard, battled in Asami's dark eyes.
Akihito didn't see it, still staring out at the ruins. "Last time was pot luck. Next time they might be smarter and work in an air-gapped system or it might not have anything to do with computers at all, then I'm stuffed. And it's not like you're ever gonna just say, 'Hell, it's too dangerous, have at him'. I know you'll have my back. And that's why it was such a big deal that I came here, on my own 'cos I..." His eyes shifted, suddenly hesitant. "I wasn't sure that I could. And I didn't..." He became quieter and quieter. "I didn't want you to see how weak I was. To see me as less."
Asami made an odd sound in his throat. "Is that what you think?"
What was with that voice, was he offended? It was enough to make Akihito look up. No, not offended. Angry thunder clouds crackled down at him.
Should he give the man some space? "What the hell's got you all fired up now?"
"You," Asami snapped. "You didn't wait around and hope for the best. There was one way that everyone else would have come out of that alive and you threw yourself at Death to take it. That took far bigger balls than most men possess, Akihito. I would never see you as less."
"...I plead temporary insanity," Akihito deflected, not knowing how to handle such a forceful ratification. But he wasn't done. Now that they were finally talking about this, here of all places, he couldn't seem to stop talking. "Do you know what I dream about?" he blurted. "It's not Scarface or the knife or the bombs going off. It's you. I see you, saving me, and dying for it." He sucked in a breath, killed the wobble on his voice. He was overly harsh to compensate. "I have to get over this. I have to be stronger. 'Cos I'm not gonna let you be killed on my account."
Asami stepped closer, closing the final few fingers of space between them. "Do you know what I see when I close my eyes?" he murmured.
The sudden softness of his voice silenced the clamouring in Akihito's head, ensnared his attention. A finger trailed up his throat, tipped up his chin, made him look up.
Asami's gaze was naked. Shimmering with untold emotions. Fear. "You."
That single word, that look, it hit Akihito like a bullet. "I'm your biggest weakness." Blood drained from his face as his runaway thoughts leapt in a horrifying direction. "I'm your Achilles' heel. You'd be stronger without me. Safer –"
"I don't live to be safe, Akihito," Asami cut in, not letting that idea take hold. "I live in a world of my design, exactly as I would have it, until I die. Even if that's tomorrow. If you wanted safe, you chose the wrong man."
What with thoughts from the apartment fresh from that morning, Akihito couldn't help his arched look at that. "I didn't exactly choose you though, did I? Not at first."
Asami regarded him, his expression closed. "Do you resent me?"
"Oh boy, we're really hashing out all sorts today, huh. I don't know. Maybe I did? I really don't know." Akihito shrugged lightly, his lips twitching. "But with everything you've done? I think you've paid your dues now."
Asami smirked faintly. "Have I now."
But that heaviness was still there, and soon Akihito's mouth was tugging down again. His question refused to be stifled. Or maybe it was a plea. Or worse, a suggestion that was entirely too heartbreaking. "I don't want to keep putting you in danger 'cos you're protecting me."
Asami's hands dragged heavy around the tight denim of Akihito's thighs, his expression full of dark shadows. "I swore that I would never be powerless again. "
It was like a giant had reached into Akihito's chest and squeezed. "... If I leave –"
A rare streak of self-preservation stopped him in his tracks. That gleam in Asami's gaze – another word and Akihito knew he would've been pulverized. He snapped his mouth shut.
"Threats on my life and business are commonplace. A bullet meant for you wouldn't be the first I've taken, in any sense of the word, but it would be the first I wouldn't begrudge. I do, however, need to install additional measures."
Akihito's eyes grew. "What more could you do?" He couldn't bear anyone else to be killed because of him.
Asami saw right through him. "No more deaths. There are other ways."
"You've done enough, Asami. You don't have to do anymore."
Asami's baritone roughened. "It's not a choice. I protect what's mine. Have you already forgotten?" His large hand slid around Akihito's neck, fingers wrapping just enough to feel Akihito's pulse trip. "We're bonded, you and I. Forged in fire and blood. I hold your freedom and you hold mine. In all things. It's everything, Akihito. For you, for me."
In their little bubble of calm at the water's edge, stunned silence fell over them. Akihito was trying to find a way, any way, of seeing that as anything but the confession it sounded like. Fucking hell... Shyness blooming, he could only deflect with awkward levity. "Th-there you go again with your overblown declarations. You know, most people just say 'I love you' or something conventional like that."
"I was asked about that." Asami's hand slid into the blond hair.
"Huh?" Akihito had expected sarcasm, derision, maybe amusement. But not this serious look on Asami's face. "My parents?" he asked in horror.
Asami's expression shifted. More specifically...
"My mum?"
Another shift, prompting. Or...?
"Not my dad! Oh hell, that's a gazillion times worse! I bet you think he's all sensible and serious but he plays the worst pranks when you least expect it. Literally nothing, and then boom, Armageddon. He was probably stirring the cooking pot and seeing what boiled over. Don't pay him any mind."
"Too late. It's been irritating me ever since. The headache is unmerited for three words so susceptible to abuse."
Akihito fought a smile at Asami's grumpy face. It wasn't cute. It wasn't. "Aren't you overthinking it a tad? It's what it is."
"Is it? I've lost count the number of times I've heard it from opportunists and social climbers."
Something ugly tried to rear its head but Akihito forced it aside.
"Different again to families," Asami went on. "Friends. Bros," he said like he was down with the lingo or whatevs. Akihito snorted. "They all carry their own meanings, different intents. I make it a rule not to engage in such ambiguous mix-ups."
Akihito grinned. "I'm pretty sure that's what they call psychoanalyzing a horse."
"No. This is. Because a spirit like you is too brilliant to be contained or defined by rules. Because if it means that you are the Achilles' heel I would kill and die for, if it means I would sooner drag you with me to hell than to let you walk away... If it means," Asami practically snarled, "I would rather carve out my own heart and see it beat in your hands than to let that cold grey of death come over you again..." The golden gaze blazed, the baritone rumbled. "If it's means only you... then I'll gladly say it. I love you, Akihito."
... What...
… the...
… fuck...?
Akihito's brain exploded.
Melted. Disintegrated. It wasn't working. Asami just... He just...
There was a weird stuttering sound... Wait, was that Akihito? He closed his mouth, opened it, but his mind was blank – Antarctic plains, deep space vacuum, tumbleweed –
But before he could relearn how to communicate and form some semblance of language, Asami was kissing him right there in the open, a hand sliding behind his head and trapping him and overbearing tongue and all, all the strangers doing a double take at the sight be damned.
The kiss was fast and hard. Asami seemed endlessly amused by Akihito's shellshocked face. "Very eloquent, Akihito. You can get in the limo and consider an appropriate response." He lightly hoisted the dazed man off the mooring.
"You... ridiculous... bastard..." Akihito whispered shakily, stumbling along on legs he couldn't feel as Asami steered him away.
They naturally coordinated together now. Setting the table and serving dinner. Moving around each other tidying up. Showering in turn and slotting together in the tub. Asami still stubbornly persisted with hauling Akihito into his lap – whether to keep Akihito from slipping when he was still injured or because there wasn't enough room in the tub (which there blatantly was), there was always one excuse or another. Akihito blamed the hot water for his bright cheeks and for making his dick swell that he couldn't hide and that made Asami smirk in that smugly, maddeningly amused way of his. But that wasn't why Akihito was squirming today. Because every time he stared at that face chiselled by Michelangelo, quite literally breathtaking, his breath was gone and the words wouldn't come.
He'd tried in the limo. He'd tried as they sat down for dinner. He'd tried again in the bath. But each time, the overwhelming intimacy choked his throat and rendered him mute.
Asami wasn't saying much. It was far too quiet, what with Akihito not babbling away either. He kept sneaking glances at that superior mask, all cool and indifferent and haughty and master of the universe, and he couldn't help but notice it was too cool, too indifferent. Akihito wasn't blind. Asami was bothered. Which bothered Akihito. It was bothersome.
Asami was on the couch. He'd been reading something on his tablet for a while now as Akihito fidgeted around in the kitchen.
He was hiding. He was scuttling around with nervous energy and that bottom drawer in the fridge hadn't been cleaned for as long as he'd been living here and it obviously couldn't wait. He started emptying out the veg.
"What on earth are you doing?"
Akihito yelped and banged his head on a shelf in the fridge before he sat back on his heels. "Did you know, these things should be cleaned at least every three months? You can get all sorts of food poisoning from poor hygiene. Leave it and leave it and next think you know, you've got the shits and the porcelain bowl is your new best buddy..."
He trailed off as Asami's imperious brow climbed his forehead.
Asami was leaning in the doorway. His bathrobe was parted at the front, revealing insane abs and black lounge pants, with the snug black boxers Akihito had bought him for Christmas peeking out. The grey on the black waistband gave it away. Made by a brand called Joules that had a men's underwear range called... Yep, you guessed it. Crown Joules.
Asami's eyes adopted an amused glint as Akihito's eyes travelled. "And this needs doing on New Year's Eve, does it?"
"D'uh, it's Japanese custom. Clean out the old and greet the New Year with a clean home and clean frame of mind."
"Whatever makes you happy."
Asami grabbed a crystal tumbler and raised it in question. Akihito shook his head. Asami headed back out and to the sideboard, pouring himself a super generous slosh before settling back on the couch.
Akihito just stood there. Clean frame of mind? More like as restless as a squirrel stocking up for Winter. Because Asami had to darned well go and drop the L-bomb, didn't he? An appropriate response, Asami had said. What in the blazes could be an appropriate response to the big bad crime lord baring his soul and sharing his feelings?
Even two hours to midnight on New Year's Eve, business didn't stop.
"I saw," Asami was saying on the phone. "I tire of his excuses. Give him another chance to deliver then you can suffer a bout of carelessness and mislay his invite for the Meet." He listened to the reply. "Yes it would, wouldn't it?" he said without sympathy. "If he doesn't want to be a sitting duck, I'd suggest he get his ass in gear." Asami hung up and returned to his tablet.
Asami did that sometimes, sounding rather like Akihito. Were they rubbing off on each other? Or maybe it was Asami's new way of winding Glasses up when he found things dull. Akihito was still standing there in limbo. He was there long enough for the fridge to start beeping in protest that it had been left open. The whiskey was long gone.
Veg went back. Fridge door closed. Akihito's bare feet carried him across the thick carpet. He stood behind the couch, staring at Asami's dark, still-damp hair. It was soft when dry, he'd discovered, when Asami hadn't slicked it back. He fidgeted with the waist tie of his slacks. His habitual sleepwear now was his tank top and Asami's trousers. Soon after he'd left the medical clinic there were suddenly a lot more of Asami's lounge pants lounging around so they were easy to nab. Yes, they wore matching trousers to bed. It was almost cute. What wasn't so cute was how Akihito had to roll them up at the ends 'cos there was no elastic around the ankles and Asami's legs were manly and long and muscley...
Akihito's gaze was flitting around like a nervous jackrabbit when he caught the returning stare reflected on the blank TV.
Carefully neutral, Asami's eyes revealed nothing. Akihito's mouth went dry.
You knowingly set off a bomb, for fuck's sake. You're stalling at this?
Akihito squared his shoulders...
And fell forwards, his arms hugging around Asami's neck from behind, his face buried in there somewhere too.
Asami tipped his head a little against Akihito's but otherwise he just waited.
"You busy?" Akihito mumbled.
Asami clicked off the tablet and pulled out his phone. The call was brief. "No interruptions." Phone and tablet were put it aside. "I just finished, as it so happens."
Akihito snorted. Had Asami only been pretending to be busy? He didn't know. He didn't care. He grabbed Asami's hand and pulled, drawing the tall man up and alongside the couch. He pulled him across the living room and into the bedroom. Marching along determined not to stop, Akihito went right up to the headboard, flicked up the hidden switch cover and jammed the button.
Akihito didn't dare look at Asami as the door to the Secret Room slid open. He marched them across the bedroom floor and finally he dropped Asami's hand. Standing in the middle of the Secret Room, Akihito turned to him.
Asami waited, folding his arms, leaning against the doorframe with an unreadable expression.
Akihito chewed his lip, fidgeted with his waist tie. You can find a few seconds of courage, can't you Aki? He had to do this right, even if he was about as smooth as a learner driver who couldn't make heads or tails of the gas pedal.
"I realized something today. I thought I was losing myself, but... actually it's ok to change. Life changes, things change, I change. It's ok. I'm still me. Just a bit weathered. Maybe a bit wiser." His gaze lifted. "And... not so alone. I –" Akihito stalled. He rallied. "You promised me everything and... well..." He closed his eyes, scrunched them for a moment – A few seconds, Aki! – and raised his eyes. "Well, this is my everything. I – I don't mean sex. Well actually that too, 'cos it's been way too long since we've actually, you know, had sex, but –" Since when did Akihito whine over a dry spell like it was some major catastrophe! Gordon fucking Bennet, couldn't he just be serious for a minute here? He cleared his throat. "But it's not just about sex. You said that to me before too, but I get it now. So... well, this is me. Freely given. What I am. What I – I feel – that is, uh –" Far, far, beyond his comfort zone, Akihito's eyes shifted all around again. "I might... as in... I'm pretty sure, I think, that... Actually you know what? It's totally fucking unfair 'cos you went and said it and now I have to say it 'cos if I don't say it I'm just gonna be thinking about it all the time like seriously an actual elephant has already moved into my head and it's stomping around with its bigass stomping feet so I'm putting it on record that I'm saying all this in protest and... argh! I suck."
The first arched brow of amusement somewhere along the lines had been joined by the second. Asami was infuriatingly calm, when Akihito was so wound up. He scowled in a serious grump.
Asami tilted his head, a familiar gleam of teasing in his piercing gaze. "That's an awful lot of bush beating for three words that weren't even in there. And you lost me – is it freely given or in protest?"
"Shut up. I have my own ways of doing things."
"That you do," Asami smirked.
"Fine. You want three words? I'll give you three words. Try this on for size: I'm yours, Ryuichi." Akihito's mouth opened again to carry on yabbering away, but then he belatedly realized that what he'd said was just as intimate as the actual three words he'd been trying to say.
Asami froze – watching him, reaction suspended, not leaping to conclusions –
Colour rose up Akihito's face like roses in Spring bloom. But he didn't take the words back or laugh them off. In fact... "I'm yours, Ryuichi," he said again, quieter, steadier, surer. He didn't say it because was ranting but because he meant it.
A dragon. It was an honest to fuck dragon that came alight in Asami, the golden fire that suspended them in time and there were only the two of them with all their desire and focus and purpose between them.
It was a faint smirk that lit Asami's face, an expression of something deep showing more through the subtle shift in his cheeks and eyes than anything else. "I suppose it'll do for now."
When had Asami approached? Long fingers slid into the blond hair, gentle, caressing... then tightening, fisting until Akihito's head was pulled back, further still, until his throat was exposed and he was just the slightest bit off balance.
Akihito didn't fight him at all, putting himself entirely at Asami's mercy.
Submission.
It hit him, the freedom of letting go, handing himself over with absolute confidence that Asami had him. Asami's teeth closed at the side of his neck over his stuttering pulse point, biting, harder, an ache growing then blooming, until it became pain, his eyes smarting, before it eased off just short of it becoming unbearable. Lips sucked hard against Akihito's neck, bolting lightning down his whole length, making his knees shake. Actually his entire body was trembling, whether from adrenaline or anticipation or arousal or perhaps something entirely deeper.
Asami soothed the bruised neck with a gentle kiss. He nuzzled Akihito's jaw, nosed along his cheek, before drawing back enough to look at Akihito.
Adorned with Asami's mark. Flushed, tremulous, pupils dark, waiting.
"Have you really recovered?"
Akihito blinked himself back. It was like his brain had floated off somewhere. "Huh?"
"Internal tissues take much longer to heal and you might not notice."
"Doc gave the all clear at the last check up." Akihito threw a grin, mostly challenge, a little shy. "You were saying all that stuff about traffic lights and all. Was that just all talk and no bite?" His lips twitched at that. "Oh, I know! You actually have a secret and active interest in roadgeeking, don't you?"
Akihito could feel Asami's burning gaze like fingers over his face.
"I'll wreck you." Soft and dark. A rumble of warning. Or promise.
The shiver darted all the way up Akihito's spine and up into his hair. He took a second to steady his breathing. It sure as fuck wasn't happening by itself. "What makes you think I don't want you to?" His cheeks coloured but his gaze was sure.
It was hypnotizing, seeing the dark lust dilating through those piercing eyes, the flecks of ebony in the golden irises. Asami still had a fistful of his hair, the pad of the thumb circling behind his ear.
"Do you trust me?"
Akihito's eyes widened. He remembered the first time Asami had asked him that, when the early sprouts of trust was as prickly and defensive and small as a hedgehog. It was a lifetime ago. Now, his grin came back easily. "I dunno. If we're having the best sushi in the universe, would you give me the last piece?"
"Every time." Dead serious, not missing a beat. Fucking hell, Asami wasn't even letting him laugh it off.
A little shakily, Akihito said, "Then how could I say no?"
Asami's lip twitched with a smirk not quite suppressed. "Is that all it takes? If only I'd known."
"Don't tell anyone," Akihito mock-whispered.
He swallowed as Asami towered over him, staring down into his face. "You're trembling. Are you nervous?"
"We're in here and you ask if I trust you, of course I'm fucking nervous."
"Door's open."
Akihito tugged free, Asami let him go. Akihito cast about and then made a beeline for the bed as he spotted the remote. Grabbing it, he beeped the door shut.
Asami's expression was dark satisfaction and lust. "Are you particularly attached to your clothes?"
Hazel eyes widened. "Aside from the fact that I'm wearing them? I guess not. These are yours though," Akihito said, tugging at the pants leg.
Asami took the remote off him and pressed another button, revealing the wall of hardcore black leather and chains. Just like that. No ceremony or grand reveal or anything.
"I'm never gonna get used to that," Akihito mumbled as Asami headed over to it.
When Asami came back he handed Akihito something. Twenty, maybe thirty strips of leather the length of his arm, drooping out of a stiff handle created by what looked to be the same leather bound neatly together.
A shaky breath fluttered from Akihito. "This is...?"
"A flogger."
Akihito was nodding numbly for a while before he could reply. "Of course it is." Nervousness made him deflect with sarcasm. "You want me to flog you?"
Asami walked around him. "Do you want to flog me?" He pressed against Akihito's back – "Or would you rather –" and purred in his ear – "I took care of you?"
Akihito's skin tightened. "That shouldn't sound so hot..." he mumbled.
Asami's smirk was all arrogance as he loped off for the toy wall again.
"But... uh... why do you want to flog me?"
Asami returned with two cuffs, unbuckling one and opening it up. They were the same as Akihito had worn before, the soft leather, solid black, serious business. Asami just let Akihito stare at them, process... and hold out a hand. Silently, Asami secured the cuff around the slender wrist.
Akihito had worn it before but this felt entirely different. Was it because he wasn't fighting this time, not even half-heartedly? Asami held out the other cuff. Akihito swapped the flogger in his hands and held out the other wrist to be cuffed.
Only then did Asami cup the side of his head, fingers tightening through the blond hair. "I'll give you what you need, Akihito. I'll clear your mind. Make you think only of me."
"By beating me?" Akihito said sceptically, pitched a little high.
"You'll see. Trust me, and let go."
Quietly, just trying to breathe and somehow keep calm against his pounding heart, Akihito held tightly to the leather flogger and watched as Asami headed for the bed, reaching under it.
He pulled out a bench. About a metre long and half as wide. Leather seat about knee height, maybe a bit higher, all black, solid legs. Asami dragged it clear into the middle of the floor, to an exact placement that only he understood, parallel with the width of the bed. He shrugged off his bathrobe as he returned to the bed and flung the fluffy white cotton onto the covers.
He turned, and Akihito stopped breathing. Broad shoulders, powerfully defined musculature, the proud stance, dark slacks with bare feet, the face that would have knocked Zeus off his throne, and that molten gaze –
"Fucking hell..."
It was the uplift at one corner of Asami's mouth that made Akihito realize he'd said that aloud.
"Come here."
It wasn't defiance that made Akihito so slow to react. His body just didn't seem to be functioning too well. He stumbled around the bench – he gave it a second glance 'cos seriously, what?
Asami held out his hand. Akihito stared at it stupidly for a moment before he caught on, and put the flogger in the expectant hand. He'd forgotten he was holding it. As he handed it over, he caught sight of the black cuff on his wrist. Shit, they were really doing this...
Asami draped the flogger over the bed so all the strips of leather were running the same way. He stepped towards the bench, patted the leather.
"Kneel up."
Asami guided Akihito by the hips as he kneeled up onto the bench facing the bed. It was padded, cushioning his knees. Asami kept him steady with a hand on a hip as he reached for the remote again. And pointed it up. And pressed a button.
A hole opened up in the ceiling, and a ring lowered through it.
"Oh shit..." Akihito breathed.
There must have been some technical word for it but to him it was just a ring. A fucking solid one. On a solid metal stick that came down over his head. Solid enough to... "Fuck."
Asami pulled out a double-ended metal clasp from his pocket. He connected one end to one cuff, raised the arm to pass the clasp through the ring, and raised the other arm too to connect the other end to the other cuff. The thick metal ring was cold as Akihito wrapped his fingers around it, the only solid thing to hold on to. Another beep of the remote and then the stick was disappearing back up into the ceiling, taking the ring with it and the cuffs too, raising Akihito's arms up and up –
Another click of the remote and Asami stopped the ring as Akihito's wrists were held high overhead, just a little forward. There was only a little give left in his arms. Already having to fight to stop the trembling and runaway breathing, Akihito stared at Asami.
Asami soothed a hand over Akihito's jaw, a squeeze behind the neck, a moment of reassurance before heading to the wall behind him again. When Asami came back this time he stood directly in front of Akihito. He was holding a knife.
It sat in Asami's palm, hilt out, the 20cm curved blade pointing up the forearm. The same one he'd brought to Akihito's apartment, if he'd had to hazard a guess. Akihito was uneasy around knives, had always been queasy at the thought of slicing flesh. More so now.
Asami would know that. Was it deliberate? Another fear to face in his day of facing fears? Akihito stared at the evil looking thing and pushed his brain to be rational. Asami had a knife. Asami had a knife.
It was his complete confidence in Asami that steadied him.
Asami waited until the hazel eyes fixed onto him – calm, if a little rigid – before bringing the knife closer. Deftly spinning it in one hand from reverse to forward grip, with the lethal blade millimetres from the skin, Asami cut off the tank top. Focusing on Asami, Akihito didn't flinch. Didn't move. Didn't breathe. He held perfectly still as the slacks likewise fell to the blade, the material tugged out from under his knees, and the boxers were sliced off too.
There was a brief brush of lips against his temple. "Well done."
Akihito drooped, leaning into the contact.
Asami allowed him a moment before stepping back. He flicked the knife airborne, caught it by the end of the hilt, and threw it back-hand. Akihito craned his head back to see it embedded dead centre in the top frame of the toy wall.
He gaped. "That's actually weirdly hot," he blurted.
Asami smirked. And lightly back-slapped the inside thigh. "Knees wide."
Mentally floundering at the abrupt shift in focus, Akihito opened his mouth – but froze at Asami's brow raised in challenge as though to say, Yes?
Yes, what had he been about to say? He wasn't fighting here, Akihito had to remind himself. He wanted to do this. It was just his nature to push back if he was pushed. He shut his mouth again. Feeling the flush rising further up his cheeks, he shuffled his knees out.
"Wider."
"They are," he grumbled. It was also his nature that he couldn't stay quiet for long. But he still shifted them wider.
Another slap, harder this time, on the other inside thigh. Hard enough to sting. It did funny things to the adrenaline charging around Akihito's veins.
"Wide as you can, Akihito."
"I'm gonna pull a muscle..." Akihito mumbled 'cos he was feeling more and more self-conscious which made him lippy. With just a moment of gathering himself, he shuffled his knees out until he felt the stretch in his groin, even his ass cheeks parting. And there went the last of the give in his arms, at a full stretch overhead. Did Asami actually know how wide his legs could go and so how much leeway to leave his arms? Shit, it was dizzying. Akihito was leaning a little forwards onto the ring, but that was probably deliberate as well. He resisted moving his knees forward.
And then Asami blatantly gave him a once-over – an extremely detailed, lingering appraisal of a once-over that had colour rising up the wealth of exposed skin.
Akihito was naked. Bound and naked. Everything was dangling. Until he wasn't dangling so much... Sure, it was this position, stretched out and up and completely exposed, and the doses of adrenaline, and this Room, and Asami being so insanely hot and dominating – he shivered just a little, fuck, this man... – and the fact that Akihito hadn't come in that earth-moving, bone-melting way that Asami could make him feel in what might as well have been a lifetime as far as his dick was concerned! Everything conspired to send his blood surging south. But it was what was in front of him that fuelled the bonfire of his arousal the most, the raw, possessive hunger that lit the molten gaze devouring the sight Akihito presented. Asami made no attempt to conceal it.
Then the older man was close, his forehead tipped against Akihito's. There was a tortured groan. Or it might have been a growl.
"What you do to me, Akihito..."
No wonder Akihito was practically at full mast without a single touch. Asami didn't make him feel smaller or lesser for his submission. He felt desired. Cherished. Loved. It was nothing short of insane that Asami made him feel like that.
...Or was it? Shouldn't Akihito stop being surprised at this by now?
Akihito quirked a lopsided grin. "I'm pretty sure it's what you're doing to me, you perverted crime lord."
It was definitely a growl this time as nails scraped up his abdomen and his chest and the hand closed for a moment around his throat.
The strangle grip eased just in time to let out the gasp carried up by Akihito's whole body shudder. Even his dick trembled. "Fuck..."
"Mmm someone's eager. You look like you might shoot if I gave you a single lick."
"Shut up," Akihito glowed. But he was still grinning.
"Don't worry, your cock will see plenty of action."
Akihito stifled a groan. Poorly.
"Don't go anywhere," Asami smirked, disappearing away behind him.
"I'll try not to," Akihito deadpanned.
Asami returned with a blindfold.
"Ohhh... It's one of those days, is it?" Akihito tried to be light about it but there was an undercurrent in his voice. The last time he'd worn a blindfold... was the first time.
Asami just held it up by his head and waited. Akihito met the intense gaze – searching, anchoring... And closed his eyes.
The blindfold encased him in soft leather, encased him in darkness. It made his skin more sensitive, he could feel the press of leather around his wrists, the stretch in his body, the air over his sensitive groin, the leather warming under his knees. There wasn't much sound either, just his feathery breathing, the rustle of Asami's slacks.
And he could feel hands. Asami didn't break contact. Large hands soothed over his heated skin.
"Don't fight this, Akihito," came the soft, firm baritone. "Let go, and I will show you. You already know how you respond to me." Fingertips feathered up the inside thighs, making Akihito twitch. "I can show you how pain –" Asami grasped the balls and base of the erection and pulled –
"Hhnnnn!"
"– becomes pleasure."
Akihito's hands were squeezing tight on the ring. "You already are," he admitted into the darkness.
"Very good." Asami sounded pleased. He eased his grip and Akihito's tight tension dropped with it.
Asami trailed his nose in the blond hair, whispered right into the shell of his ear. "Tell me the safeword."
Behind the blindfold, hazel eyes widened. Akihito closed them again when eyelashes crushed against leather. He shook his head.
"Not to stop," Asami reassured. "I need to know you can say it, if you need to."
Heat prickled through Akihito at the implication. He worked his mouth – "Red," he whispered. It was actually harder than he thought it would be. The vulnerable position, the darkness making every sensation more intense, the safeword – his breathing was coming hard, his heart trying to race out of his ribcage.
"Shhh..." Large warm hands soothed over his back, kneaded his shoulders, squeezing and rubbing the muscles. His arms and back received the same treatment, firm, gentle pressure, easing the tension from the muscles.
Akihito was relaxing until Asami's hands reached his ass and squeezed there too, just a bit too hard.
"Hey," he grumbled, but only 'cos he could feel Asami was teasing. There was a chuckle.
The hands left him for a moment, then returned again. One hand. One hand was soothing over Akihito's back. Then came the trailing of leather. Multiple trails over his back, brushing here, flicking there. Over his shoulder, close to his face, enough that he could smell the leather. Flicking over his back again.
His breath fluttered with every jolt and twitch of his muscles.
"I'll erase everything else, Akihito," Asami rumbled from close behind. "Think only of me."
Akihito's world was the leather secure on his wrists, the stretch in his body, Asami's voice.
Then came the first thud, the snap filling his ears. He jolted, tensing, and it kept coming, and he couldn't work it out until his brain could decipher the unfamiliar signals. Not continuous but repetitive, rapid dull thudding strokes around the middle of his back over and over, each one sounding with a snap.
And then the thudding eased off, lightening up until they stopped completely. It had only been a few seconds but his back was still alive with it. But it wasn't pain as such. More an ache, a flare of warmth.
"Relax, Akihito."
He was breathing too hard. He eased his white-knuckle grip on the ring, easing his weight back into the wrist cuffs.
Asami nuzzled his hair. "Colour?"
Akihito's brain was flipping around doing cartwheels and it took a moment to twig. Thinking back, he couldn't be sure if it had actually hurt or if it was more the surprise of it. "Uh... green?" Was that what Asami was after?
There was a brief press of lips to his ear. "Remember, let go."
Akihito gasped as the flogging started up again. Harder this time, but the pain – if it was pain – was more from the repetition than each contact of leather. No singular point, but areas of brightness as the flogger met the centre of his back again and again. Circles? Figure of eight? It wasn't pain like Scarface's knife had been. That had been an excruciating point of agony, off to the side –
A hard snap of leather forced a cry from him. The sudden sting carried through the strokes that followed, the dull thudding never once ceasing or breaking rhythm.
Maybe he'd been getting complacent. Getting used to it. He was all tense now, his fingers aching. Holding onto the ring too tight again.
Let go. He tried.
When the harsh snap came again next, he jolted, but the whoosh of breath left on air without voice. The sting was different this way too. It merged with the ache gathering at his back, a counterpoint that made the dull flat thud of the leather strips more a light drumming, the ache not enough to make him cry out, but persistent enough to keep tugging him back from dark thoughts.
The flogger lightened off and stopped again. His laboured breathing was loud without the rhythmic snap of leather.
Asami's skin at his sensitive back made Akihito shudder. He jerked as something touched his stomach, but it was just Asami's arm that had wrapped around him. The hand slid upwards, trailing over his stomach, making his muscles dance at the scrape of nails, the brush against his nipples. The flat of a thumb brushed his cheek.
"Colour?"
"Green." Instant this time. Akihito leaned against the nuzzle in his hair. The hand brushed back down his front. Wrapped around his dick. He gasped. He hadn't realized he was still hard, rock hard in fact, the familiar ache seesawing with the bright ache at his back. Asami gave a single firm stroke from root to tip, drawing a strained whine. He nipped at Akihito's ear before pulling away again.
It went longer this time, the repetitive thud of multiple strands of leather, the crack in his ears. And as Asami continued, Akihito got used to the rhythm. He managed to relax into the wrist cuffs, stopped bracing himself. At first, the occasional sharp sting that Asami threw in stood out against the steady drumming. But gradually the rhythm took over, weirdly calming. Hypnotic almost. It was blanking his mind. No worries, no fears. And then the sharp, hard crack of the flogger became brighter, blooming his body alive with it.
The dull pain growing across his back became a canvas for the bright flares of sensation and pleasure-pain that were too few and far between. He started to yearn for it, moaning at every sharp sting of leather, seeking its ever unpredictable appearance, the rush of endorphins. But when he started seeking it, it didn't come.
"Asami..."
But there was only the dull rhythm of gentle strokes.
He gave up waiting. Asami would do what Asami would do. He let go, trusting, just feeling what he was given.
That was when he was rewarded. He cried out at the hard sting as the flogger connected hard, but it was a good cry, and he rode it as Asami wanted him to, mingling with the dull soothing thuds that followed without missing a beat.
After that he just went with it. The fabric of the dull aching, the bright flares of pleasure-pain, they all served to go hand in hand with the growing throbbing in his groin. The bright warmth at his back only heightened the heady cocktail filling his veins. Oxygen and aching desire and Asami drenched his cells.
Akihito didn't know when the flogger had eased off. He registered hands on his face, removing the blindfold, brushing away tears.
"Well done, Akihito." Warm. Fond. Proud.
Akihito didn't know what he'd done to merit it. He blinked into golden eyes, piercing and steady. "Ryuichi..." That was Akihito's whole plane of existence.
Hands raised his jaw, parted his lips. Asami took a kiss, deep and tinged with whiskey. Akihito reached for it, his tongue chasing Asami's taste.
He whined when Asami pulled away. Large hands soothed around his side Asami circled the bench, moving behind him. Akihito dropped his head, eyes closed, hanging by his wrists. Asami's hands feathered down his ribs. Kneaded his ass. Rubbed over his bent legs. Back up to his ass, squeezing, pulling, stretching apart.
Yes! Akihito needed, so much. To be filled. He yearned for it, to be driven until it took over everything –
The wet brush right over the tight ring of muscle made Akihito's eyes pop, his mouth agape. A shuddery moan sounded at the rush of feeling down there.
What the f–?!
Another brush, as wet and warm as the first. Circling the sensitive skin, nerve endings erupting with more sensation than he could have ever imagined, bolting right through his dick and his gut and to his head and every finger and toe.
He could feel Asami's nose. In the crack of his ass. Asami's cheeks. On the cheeks of his ass.
He whined, trembling, wired, blown. "You – you – can't –"
He'd just showered earlier and he was clean, but still! Words were hard to muster, and Asami's tongue was insistent, jabbing now against the tight ring of muscle. Pressing inside.
Akihito was straining against the cuffs, his legs twitching but Asami held him firm. Straining... but the direction was backwards, his hips pressing keenly while his mind fumbled with the notion of Asami rimming him. Fuck. Just... fuck.
Bliss radiated out from him so intense that he could picture his asshole had turned into a rosebud and it was Spring and he was in full bloom. 'Cos fuck but Asami's tongue...
"Ahhhhhhhh..."
His moans went on forever. His brain was too buzzed out to notice. He could feel every lick and tease and swirl, and then a finger nudged in, smooth with spit, and a gasping whine filled his ears. The digit just eased in and out for a while, and then pushed deeper, the tongue swishing over the ring as the finger tilted at a particular angle – Akihito shuddered on a cry, bone-deep pleasure radiating out like calm waves of the ocean, gentle but unstoppable. A second finger pressed in, joined the first in stroking and stimulating the secret nucleus inside, the wet tongue laving at the sensitive skin wrapped around the fingers. Fingertips were brushing up his inside thighs, scraping the perineum – but never quite touching his scrotum. Akihito was losing control of his body, his breathing, his moans. Something was coiling deep inside and his hips stuttered, uncoordinated, lost to the gentle onslaught. It was growing, snowballing, a cascade of undulating pleasure. The fingers gently, relentlessly massaged his sensitized prostate and he was so almost there –
Then all at once the tongue swirled across to where the fingers disappeared and pressed in alongside, and the other hand brushed oh so lightly over the glow of his back –
It surged over, rolling through his back passage and radiating out from deep in his pelvis. He'd never come like this before, wave after gentle wave of bliss, his whole body tingling and quivering, hanging by the cuffs and held in Asami's hands. It went on and on, not the kind that peaked and crashed, but suspended on a plateau of bone melting pleasure turning him into goo.
He was a moaning, needy mess by the time Asami climbed back to his feet. Akihito had the sweetest ache everywhere. His back was warm. And he was hard. Rock solid, bone hard. Throbbing. He gaped down at his erection still going strong. He hadn't come? But he had. He felt like he was still riding the pleasure wave, in fact. Precum trailed an unbroken line from his frantic erection to the bench.
Asami chuckled close against his back. "Anal orgasm. I'm not letting you shoot your load yet," he remarked as though he could so easily fine-tune the level and duration of Akihito's arousal. A finger trailed up his cock and Akihito's whole body jerked, ready to erupt on a hair trigger. Another touch... Just one more touch...
"Look at you," Asami purred. "I suppose I did promise to wreck you."
Akihito could only stare, needing, lost, overwhelmed. "Please... please..."
"Shhhh. You're alright." The large hands were heavenly on his aching shoulders and arms as Asami kneaded life back into them and carefully unclasped the cuffs, catching him before he could fall. His legs, too, Asami rubbed blood back into them and helped him back to the floor.
Asami ran his hands down Akihito's arms – and guided them behind Akihito's back, where he snapped the cuffs together.
"Colour?"
Akihito couldn't form the words. He just nodded. Asami's hands caught his jaw, forced his face up.
"Concentrate, Akihito. What's your colour?" Asami's voice was firm, his gaze equally so.
Responding to the command, Akihito somehow mustered a scant few brain cells. "G-green. Oh fuck, green..." It came out scratchy.
Asami guided Akihito to sit on the edge of the bed. Crouching beside him, a large hand rubbed his thighs. Up and down. Up and down...
Akihito blinked.
"You with me?" Asami asked.
Blinking some more, focusing a little better, Akihito nodded. Had he been dreaming? How long had he been sitting here?
Asami searched his gaze for a moment longer. "Alright. Wait here. And don't you dare touch your dick."
Akihito scowled after Asami as he strode for the door. "Damn it. I was gonna lick it and everything."
Asami jolted to a halt in the doorway. He turned back to find the blond looking far too cheeky. And flushed and hard and oh so fuckable.
He marched out with Akihito's laugh warming his back.
Left alone, Akihito took an almighty breath. Shit, that had been intense. He stared at his angry, glistening boner. Who'd have known, he was into flogging. Well, Asami for one. And what he'd done with his tongue...! Flushing, he tugged on the cuffs. They held fast behind his back. Mild self-consciousness reared its head but the way things were going so far? Green green green, baby.
Asami returned with a glass of water. It tasted like nectar.
Thirst quenched, Akihito wasted no time in pointing out the obvious. "A little eager yourself, aren't you?"
The black slacks had disappeared. Crown Joules was being stretched.
Asami smirked without an ounce of shame. "More than a little. I'm young and virile, remember?"
Akihito snorted helplessly.
Asami stood him up, guided him onto his knees and backwards to the middle of the bed, his back to the headboard. Asami grabbed a bottle from the bedside drawer and parked himself behind him.
Akihito was looking over his shoulder, expectant. But Asami just leaned against the headboard, one leg bent up, the other hanging off the bed, doing nothing about the tip of his erection pushing free from under the waistband.
"Spread your knees, Akihito," he ordered softly, his eyes dark.
Akihito didn't move but inside his heart started thumping and his body tightened and he felt several degrees warmer. Asami didn't press any further. He gave time for Akihito's instinctive baulking to swell, clamour, then pass. After what felt like an age of hesitation, Akihito rocked and shuffled his knees wide. Not as wide as he'd done on the bench because there wasn't as much grip on the covers, but it was close.
He could feel air. Asami was behind him. His face warmed. But he was silent, his brain starting to submerge into that weird floaty haze again from before, when he could only think of Asami and need.
Something cold dribbled onto his hands and down the crack of his ass, making him jolt with surprise.
"Stretch yourself out for me."
Akihito took an unsteady breath, a twinge of awkwardness pulling him from back from that haze.
Asami caught his foot, sliding a hand up his calf. "I've warmed you up but you'll hurt if you don't stretch out some more. Use your fingers. Get yourself ready for me. You can do it, Akihito."
In the end, the self-consciousness became a background scratch that only heightened his arousal. A steadying breath, and Akihito reached down. His wrists were already cuffed behind him. He just needed to find his ass, and he breathed softly at the sensation he was creating himself. He pressed a finger in. Asami's hands were warm over his thighs, his hips.
"Add another finger, Akihito."
It was still a stretch even with Asami having warmed him up.
"You need to push deeper than that."
Akihito pushed to the second knuckle, then the third.
"Another finger."
Asami sounded strained. Akihito glanced over his shoulder to be hit with the golden lust like it had physically hit him in the face.
"Go on, Akihito. Get yourself ready so you can take me."
Fuck... Yes... Please... Akihito added a third finger, sliding in and out, more eager now, deeper with every push. He was breathing with it, his fingers jabbing faster. It felt good. But it wasn't deep enough.
"Asami..."
"What should you be calling me?" The reminder was sharp.
"Ryuichi," Akihito amended instantly, something inside of him whining at the reprimand.
"Better." A warm hand soothed over his heated back, making him tremble with the wash of sensation. It still sent waves cascading through him.
"Ryuichi... I... I need..."
Something pressed in alongside his own fingers, another finger, not his own. Longer. With a better reach. There was a stroke in a particular spot inside and his body jolted like he'd been electrified.
"Hhhhhnnnn..." Akihito sighed.
That! That was what he needed! He waited, waited – but Asami didn't do it again. Akihito even moved his own fingers, but he couldn't reach that point inside that Asami could.
"I need... more..."
The bed shifted. And then Asami was kneeling up behind him, brushing against his back. "More what?"
Akihito just quaked and waited.
But Asami was merciless. "Tell me, Akihito. Be precise. What do you need?"
Akihito tilted his head, seeking. Asami was there. Pressing his forehead to Asami, Akihito hid in the proximity.
"I need you... Inside..."
There was another deliberate stroke against the point inside. He cried out, he shook, he pressed against Asami again.
"Is it my fingers you want?" Asami asked, feigning ignorance.
Akihito knew what Asami was doing, even half lost to delirium as he was. "Bastard... I want –" He squeezed his eyes shut... And let himself spill. "I want you to fuck me. Hard. Until you make me come like crazy. I want you to come inside me. I want to hear you, to feel you... to feel it for days. I want you to rock my world, Ryuichi. Like you always do. I want... you. I want you."
There was a frozen pause.
Then Asami's arm snaked up his chest, the hand grasping his neck and drawing him back against Asami's hard torso, the finger of the other hand still planted up his ass finding his prostate and pressing.
"Hhhnn!"
"Oh I'll rock your world and then some, my dear Akihito," Asami rumbled, practically purring. "I'll make you come harder than I've ever made you come, than you've ever imagined you could. Are you prepared for it?"
Akihito shuddered. "Fuck, please, yes..."
With a chuckle and a nip against his ear, Asami's hands left him.
Akihito was left swaying as the bed shifted again. Asami shucked his boxers, and with a squirt of lube he slicked up his eye-popping erection. There was a bead of precum glistening on the tip before it was eaten up in the large hand.
Asami jumped back onto the bed, and with a bit of shuffling and manhandling Akihito was back on his knees right where he'd been but now straddling Asami's crotch as the man lay down under him.
"Take me in," Asami said.
Akihito was meant to do this? He could take it as slow as he wanted, adjust, ease down... But he didn't want to. "I... want to feel it. Make me feel it, Ryuichi."
There was no reply, just something that rumbled like a growl as Asami took aim and drove up, hard hands drawing down Akihito's hips. Air rushed from Akihito's lungs with a cry, his eyes flying wide at the sudden stretch, the burn, moisture prickling. He gasped, his body as tight as a bow string –
And then he laughed. "Fuck that feels good."
"Ride me, Akihito."
"Ahh... You're gonna have to gimme a sec..." Because Akihito's insides all needed to migrate out of the way. Plus there was already pressure inside that was making him dizzy.
Akihito started to rock. His legs were already tired from the bench but the hunger drove him on. His hands were cuffed behind but Asami held him steady. He rocked and stirred himself up, he drew up to press back down and made them both groan. Asami's strong hands locked about his hips and helped drive them both, but his thighs were fatigued, quaking.
"I can't... I need more... Please..."
Asami sat up, squashing Akihito's hands against tight lower abdominals for a second. Asami pulled his legs under so he was kneeling, with Akihito kneeling wide astride his legs. He unclipped the cuffs, releasing Akihito's wrists so he could press close to the sensitive back.
Arms locked about Akihito's chest as powerful thrusts drove repeatedly against the most sensitive part inside him and drove him higher to that pinnacle. His legs had long melted, his brain wasn't far behind. Yes yes yes... That satisfying ache, it was coiling in his gut. Close. So close... He reached for his dick – but Asami knocked his hands away.
Akihito whimpered.
"No hands. You can come from your prostate. You're going to come hard, and for a long time. Just feel me inside."
Still submerged in need, Akihito turned and bumped his head against Asami. He reached over and grabbed Asami's head – but the man pulled back before he could close in.
"Kiss me," Akihito breathed.
"You know where my mouth's been."
Akihito moaned, even more turned on if that was possible. It was lewd and filthy and the fact that Asami was worrying about that for him was insanely cute. "Fuck that, kiss me," Akihito demanded more roughly.
Asami didn't need telling twice. He plundered, his tongue and his sizeable erection both, deep and full and fucking hell, that rhythmic pounding... Akihito was soaring, soaring – and his every muscle and tendon tensed and trembled –
It was the sudden squeeze on his nipples that tipped him over into the point of no return. His balls clenched –
And stayed there even as Akihito spilled over. His cum gushed forth but Akihito was still caught in that moment, the start of an orgasm, the crash of rapture but without the ensuing release of all that coiled pressure. He was coming, and coming, and coming...
Asami threw Akihito forwards onto his chest, ass up, still pounding into him. Akihito cried out, too stimulated, coming too hard, seemingly without end.
"Ryu – Nnnnnggggghhhhh!"
"Let go, Akihito," Asami said, rough with strain. "Just let go."
Asami was still thrusting into him and his ass was starting to protest, and Akihito was crying at the over-sensation, but the repeated bumping against the nerves inside filled his vision with stars.
"Ggghhhaaa...!"
Akihito cried out anew as a large hand grasped his throbbing cock and stroked fast. He had no idea if he was still coming, when the wave was surging up again and leaving him suspended... But that edge was more elusive the second time – or still the first? – fuck he didn't know – until nails scratched down his reddened back.
With an anguished, surprised cry, Akihito's pelvis reared up and his balls jerked and he pitched into another release, rocketing, soaring, Asami's hand stroking him through it, and still stroking, coaxing out his orgasm until it hurt, until Asami's driving hips stuttered and rammed deeper and the taller man draped over his back, his guttural groan lost amidst Akihito's hair.
Buoyant, sated to the marrow, and every muscle like jelly, Akihito came to in the tub.
A momentary flicker of uncertainty – more curiosity than any worry – passed by too when he noted he was ensconced on Asami's lap. He snuck a glance at the strong column of Asami's neck, the sculptured features of that stunning face – Asami actually had quite long eyelashes, he noticed, currently resting closed against the high cheekbones.
Akihito relaxed again, assured in the knowledge that he was safe. The warmth was heavenly, all his satisfying aches luxuriating in it. There was something creamy about the water. An ointment maybe? For his back? It was soothing, whatever it was, as Asami's hand lazily scooped and drizzled it over his back.
Safe. In every sense of the word. Physically, sure. Aftercare, always. And the biggest of all – emotionally? Letting Asami in, making himself vulnerable, having the trust and confidence to let Asami see his real self without any masks or pretences? He knew the answer there too. And he wasn't alone. Asami had long gone and bared his soul.
In the end it was simple. Echoey in the bathroom, quietly resonant with what was between them. "...I love you."
The warm hand glided up his back, a finger sliding around to trace his jaw. Eyes still closed, Asami smirked. But it was more a real smile than teasing. "Took you long enough."
Akihito stuck out his tongue – yeah, real mature – and ducked his head into Asami's neck. The large hand was still soothing along his back, scooping up a handful of warmth and gliding up to the neck, back down through the water to the top of his ass, repeating over and over.
Akihito pressed a shy kiss over the slow, steady pulse at Asami's neck. He paused, an idea flickering in his eyes, his mouth curving with mischief. He kissed again. A few seconds then another kiss. And another. Until he was just kissing... And sucking... He sucked hard, even setting his teeth a bit, but he didn't know how much it would hurt and didn't bite very hard at all –
A hand suddenly squeezed around his half-hard cock. Akihito jumped, his jaw clamping in his surprise, before he jerked back.
"Baka, you made me bite you!"
"You should have told me you wanted to mark me. You can bite me anywhere you want," Asami grinned.
"Your dick then?"
The smug smirk didn't once waver. "I have no objections to you swallowing me down whenever and wherever you want." Asami's lips were nipping over Akihito's jaw, around towards his neck. "You can be sure I'll return the favour tenfold."
And then Asami was sucking hard on Akihito's neck, digging in teeth, making Akihito flail.
"You bastard, it's not a competition!" Akihito gasped.
Asami was about to reply, when he suddenly looked at the door. Then back at Akihito, and the young man could see the lightbulb clear as day. Before Akihito could ask, Asami lifted him up bridal style amidst a cascade of water and carried him out of the tub.
"What the hell?"
Asami went right out of the wetroom, passed the sinks, and out into the bedroom. It was dark, lit only by the city's nightscape.
"Asami? What the fooomph–" Akihito broke off with a grunt as he was thrown on the bed, tumbling a bit with the momentum.
He gaped as Asami grabbed the bottle of lube and squirted a generous handful.
"Oh, you're fucking kidding me!" Akihito scrambled away, but he was wet and the covers stuck and Asami was on him in seconds.
"Haven't you had enough?" Akihito deplored.
"Tired already?"
"Yes. Definitely yes. I'm gonna be asleep in two minutes flat, I swear."
Two fingers pressed in and Akihito could only clutch onto Asami's arms at the burn.
"Shit..."
"Sore?"
"Whaddya think!"
"I'll be gentle."
"You're hung like a fucking beast, gentle doesn't even come into it."
Asami soothed his lips and tongue against Akihito's neck. "Let me in, Akihito."
"I'm seriously gonna fall asleep on you. Don't say I didn't warn you."
"But we can't miss the New Year fireworks now, can we?" Asami smirked.
"This is so not what I meant..." Akihito dropped his head back, it hung off the side of the bed. He didn't try to move. He was staring upside down at the windows.
He consciously relaxed down there... and he found it significantly easier. Asami waited for him to ease up before adding a third finger. Slow and careful. Then a fourth. Gentle. Enough that Akihito found himself swallowing back a moan because, oh fuck it, it felt good. Even with the burn. Especially with the burn.
"Ready for more?" Asami said knowingly.
"Oh, just get on with it," Akihito pretended to grouch, not completely able to smother his grin.
Asami withdrew his fingers and started rolling him over.
But Akihito resisted, pushing back flat again. "Here's fine."
"It'll rub on your back."
There it was again, the little considerations, the actions that spoke louder than words. No wonder the man had snuck well and truly behind Akihito's walls.
"Did you break skin?" he asked.
Asami looked insulted.
Akihito grinned. "See? It's fine. Besides, maybe I want to feel it." He jutted his jaw to counteract the shy. "And it also means I can do this." He hooked his legs around Asami and drew the man closer. He delighted in the momentary surprise that widened the dark eyes.
"Sure your legs aren't too tired? You were shaking earlier."
The blush was bright and strong. "I'm young, remember. I bounce right back."
"You can bounce right back on me all you want, Akihito."
"You pervy baka..." Akihito mumbled as he flushed even more.
"But perhaps we should work on your stamina. You keep blanking out on me –"
"Bastard! That's 'cos you keep aahhhnn –"
Asami chose that moment to push the engorged head of his erection past Akihito's entrance. But just that. He didn't sink any deeper.
"You were saying?" Asami mused innocently. But his gaze was intense.
Way too intense. "You're such a horny bastard," Akihito mumbled from somewhere behind his arm as he hid.
"Only with you," came the baritone and Akihito couldn't be sure that Asami was really joking.
Asami pulled the arm aside, pinned it to the bed. Akihito brought up his other arm but that was confiscated too. Both were pinned above his head. He turned aside.
"Don't hide from me," came the rumbling demand. "Don't hide anything."
With a shaky breath Akihito dared to lift his face, his eyes fluttering open.
Asami took his time lowering himself into Akihito, sheathing so slowly into Akihito's depths that they could both feel every millimetre of the glide.
Not only deeply entwined, but being watched so closely, not being able to hide any of his breathy anticipation, the flicker of muted pain as he gave into the sizeable – and welcome – intrusion, the bone-deep pleasure of being filled... Seeing the heat reflected right back... It was achingly intimate. Spiritual, even. No words were needed when their emotions were naked in their eyes.
Akihito tugged on his arms. Maybe Asami saw the intent, for he let go. Akihito wrapped them about Asami and tentatively initiated a kiss, his tongue swiping at Asami's lips, seeking its counterpart.
Akihito flushed at the warmth he could see glinting in Asami gaze. But he didn't shy off. He just pulled his legs in tighter and Asami responded, rolling his hips, and self-consciousness was forgotten. Soon Akihito's head dropped back and he gave himself over to the rocking between them, to the surging deep inside that carried him high.
Asami stilled, making Akihito look up. Asami was watching him with quietly contented, possessive focus.
Fireworks exploded over the city, flashing brilliantly through the bedroom.
Asami smirked. "Happy New Year, you sleepy brat."
Akihito blinked into those golden eyes, a little stunned. His brain ran a mile a minute, but it always returned here. To this man.
Akihito returned a lopsided grin. "Happy New Year, you horny bastard."
Akihito's memories of the fireworks were somewhat hazy that year, an upside-down blur through euphoric tears.
