Kakashi had definitely had better days. He was sneezing and coughing the entire way home and had to change his mask no less than three times. Not that a little cold would keep him down though. The only reason he'd taken a sick day the day before was that he literally couldn't get out of bed.

His first years had been as rowdy as first years usually are. The boys took no pity on him in his sickened state and the girls were too busy gossiping to pay attention. For the entirety of the class, he'd had to watch his back for paper airplanes while discussing the merits of pi and how it may relate to their future lives.

Kakashi typically didn't teach first year math. His typical classes were the third years, but Suzumi-sensei had called in some vacation days. It was a serious inconvenience for everyone involved, but somebody had to pick up those classes. And that somebody ended up being Kakashi.

He was certain that this cold was from a small case of overwork. The extra planning involved with his sudden workload meant that Kakashi wasn't getting as much sleep as usual. He was silently grateful when the Vice Principal told him to head home early and rest. He had finished his classes for the day and he'd already sufficiently prepped for tomorrow, so there was no real need for him to stay at school.

The walk home was short. Kakashi didn't live terribly far from school and relished the short commute. Not needing to pay for car expenses also helped ease his frugally minded conscience. After about 15 minutes, he was in view of his apartment complex.

Kakashi lived on the fourth floor of a large walkup. It was a relatively new building, however, which meant the units were incredibly small. Developers these days were trying to pack people in as tight as they could to increase profit. This lead to tiny living spaces for outrageous prices.

He began walking up the steps and could hear a couple crows cawing nearby. Kakashi suddenly saw something quickly move out of the corner of his eye and stopped for a second. He slowly turned around and jumped at the sight of an angry looking crow an arm's length distance from him. It spread its sizable wings and flew off. Kakashi stared at the crow retreating while he caught his breath. Once it was no longer in sight, he turned around walked to his door.

Kakashi paused for a second before sliding his key into the lock. He didn't know why a sense of anxiety had suddenly washed over him, like he was being watched. He elected to ignore it as he stepped through the doorway. It was probably just his exhaustion. The door swung shut behind him and he hung his keys on a hook on the wall.

He made his way through the tight space to his bedroom, where he dropped his bag on a chair. Other than the constant buzzing of the cicadas coming from outside, it was peaceful in his apartment. Kakashi pulled his laptop out of his backpack and threw them on his futon. Just because he was home early didn't mean he couldn't put a few more hours in. Kakashi could feel a headache coming on, however. He would have to make some tea to get rid of this cold once and for all. Kakashi then proceeded to pull out his dirty bento box before walking for the kitchen.

Kakashi's kitchen was tiny. It was definitely designed with compactness in mind and only contained what was considered absolutely essential. The sink could only hold a few dishes at a time and was a mere hand width away from the electric stovetop. There was a distinct lack of counter space, but he figured he could use the glass surface of the stove as needed.

Kakashi hummed to himself as he washed his bento. Umino-sensei had been worried about him today. He kept saying something about a bar, but Kakashi was quick to let him know he never even left his apartment the day before. Nonetheless, the other man wanted to make sure he was alright. He thought it was actually kind of cute, not that he'd never tell him that…

"Yo."

Kakashi whipped around at the sudden voice and proceeded to freak the fuck out. A man who had absolutely no right being his apartment was standing in the shadowy corner of his kitchen. Without taking his eyes off the intruder, his felt along the counter with his hand until he found the paring knife that he'd used when he was making lunch that morning.

How the hell had someone gotten in without tripping the alarm? And how did Kakashi not hear the man sneak up on him? Because he was surely not a tiny person, and these floors were squeaky as hell.

Kakashi tried to look as threatening as possible by holding up the small knife. Clearly, however, he didn't do a good enough job because the man fucking chuckled. His grip drooped before he held the knife back up again with new determination.

"Who are you and what are you doing in my house," he demanded, using what he thought to be his best authoritative Teacher Voice. Middle school children everywhere froze in terror at the sound of that voice. The figure took a stop away from the corner and into the light and Kakashi froze.

Kakashi didn't pride himself on keeping up with current events. He'd payed close attention, however, when Umino-sensei had shown him an article in the newspaper regarding a recent robbery. Now the description of the theft itself wasn't so interesting, but the description of the suspect nearly matched him to a T. It was actually sort of disturbing to think about.

So when Kakashi saw a man in his apartment that looked nearly identical to himself, he had every right to panic.

"W-who are you and what are you doing here?" Kakashi repeated his question, his voice wavering this time and at least an octave higher. He couldn't tell if it was because of anger or fear. The man took a step forward.

"Stay back!" he yelled, slashing the knife a few times in front of him. Kakashi could tell he wasn't even close to hitting the man, but he had to try anyway. His body went rigid when he heard that chuckle again. He swiped the knife a couple more times to no avail.

"There's no way you're hitting me with that stance," the man said in a relaxed voice, but Kakashi was barely listening. He could hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears. His fight or flight instincts were in overdrive and he was about to charge the man before he suddenly found himself on his back. Kakashi's head hurt from the sudden impact and he let out a small groan.

Kakashi belatedly realized that his feet had been swiped out from under him, but he was in too much pain to think about it. His eyesight was slightly blurry when the man walked into his vision.

"I gave you fair warning. You really had no chance coming at me like that," he said calmly. From his spot on the ground, Kakashi took a second to actually look at the other man. His gravity defying gray hair drooped slightly as he looked down at Kakashi's prone figure and his face was covered with a medical mask not unlike his own. What was startling, however, was the horrific-looking scar running down the side of his face, over his left eye. The lid itself was covered with an eyepatch, but Kakashi was willing to bet that with an injury like that, the eye was most likely removed. He wondered if this man had some dealings with the Yakuza with a scar like that.

Kakashi tried to get away when a hand was thrust into his vision. He scrambled, awkwardly pushing himself backward with his legs until the back of his head hit the counter. The man sighed.

"I'm not going to hurt you, you know. I just want to help you up. Your head can't be feeling great right about now," he said. Which is exactly what a serial killer would say.

Kakashi couldn't focus on the strong sincerity of his voice, only able to keep staring at the scar marring half of his face.

But he suddenly realized that in the excitement up until this moment, he had completely forgotten that he was the proud owner of a brand new smart speaker. It had been a present from Iruka for his birthday. Something about bringing him into the current century.

"Hey Asshole!" he screamed out. The first thing he'd done when setting it up was change the nickname. It's not like he was going to call the thing by a human name. The intruder seemed very confused.

His speaker was laying under a pillow in his bedroom. The fabric and stuffing would surely muffle any noises that the microphone would pick up, but if he could yell loudly enough, it might work.

The beep that would normally let him know the speaker was listening was too quite to be audible from the distance. Didn't seem to matter to the intruder, however, whose head whipped toward the bedroom.

After a second, Kakashi yelled out, "Call the fucking police!"

Kakashi could hear the quiet response from the device. The intruder could as well, but that was to be expected.

"I'm not sure I understand."

Kakashi grit his teeth. Damn this speaker and damn technology.

"Call. The. Police."

And then the intruder fucking vanished. There was a whoosh of air, and then he was just gone. Of course, he was back a second later, speaker in hand. Because of course this home intruder could break the fucking laws of physics.

Both men listened to the small black device as it said, "Calling Emergency Services in 5 seconds… 4 seconds… 3 seconds… 2 seconds… 1 second…"

The dial tone sounded for a second before:

"This is 110. What is your emergen—"

The intruder's visible eye widened. In a blink, he threw the speaker onto the floor and smashed in half with his foot. Broken plastic and internal electronics flew everywhere as the audio from the device quickly fizzled out.

Kakashi flinched at the noise and started coming to terms with the fact that he could very well die there on his kitchen floor. He could feel his body tremble and his mouth bob open and closed. All while the intruder watched him with an amused look in his eye.

Kakashi was in deep shit.