A/N: Hello! Vacation's going well, so I'd thought I'd drop you a little present! In other words, I just realized this chapter's been up on Ao3 for like a week now and I wanted my accounts to be up to date with each other. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it! This was a really tough chapter for me to write and I'm still not totally happy with it, so I'd love to know what you think!
WARNING: Mentions of depression and suicide. Mentions are small, but they're still there.
Day 1
"Don't worry about the ID anymore," Kakashi said. Marushita somehow seemed even more disgusting than the last time he'd been there, "I'm kind of a national criminal now, so it wouldn't be of much use to me anyway."
Marushita, who Kakashi now knew was an influential figure in the local Yakuza ring, was clearly used to getting his way. That's why he wasn't surprised when the mad had appeared pissed and tried to throw a chair at him. He dodged.
"I just thought you'd be happy to know," Kakashi said. And truly, he did. It hadn't been quite a week yet and so the ID he'd ordered wasn't scheduled to be finished just yet. Marushita had already received three quarters of the payment he requested, without the pressure to actually finish and deliver the product.
Kakashi smiled at the incredulous expression on his face before dissipating in a cloud of smoke.
The memories of his shadow clone came back to him. He wished he had another shadow clone only to see the look on Marushita's face when the smoke cleared. Now that that was out of the way, he was able to focus more on the task at hand.
They'd been walking for nearly 8 hours already. Since beginning their journey, Kakashi had learned that their origin, Kizamu City, was just northwest of Tokyo, the capital of Japan. And while he'd had no problem keeping to the painstakingly slow civilian pace, Kakashi could tell that the two civilians were quite out of breath.
When they'd passed a sign signaling their entrance into Gunma Prefecture, there was a collective groan.
Therefore, Kakashi had made the executive decision to declare it time for lunch.
Not-Iruka, the least recognizable of the three, used a small bit of his pocket money to buy food and bandages for his leg at a local convenience store. It was a good thing Kakashi still had the money that he did, because the other two men weren't able to bring any in the confusion that resulted in them being on the run in the first place.
After they'd found a nice bench to sit on, Kakashi thought it would be a good time to check on the status of his leg. Though Not-Hatake was quite squeamish when it came to him changing his bandage, Not-Iruka seemed fascinated by the bullet wound. He wondered if the man was interested in science or healing arts. After a minute of silence, he decided to ask.
"Hey, Not-Iruka—" Kakashi started, but was immediately cut off.
"Wait. Let me stop you there," said the man in question, "'Not-Iruka'? Is… is that something you've calling me in your head this whole time?"
Kakashi felt a little sheepish. 'Not-Iruka' and 'Not-Kakashi' worked well as names inside his head, but they were clearly not suitable for referring to them. But it did feel wrong to call him Iruka when he had an Iruka back in his world. And, well, using the name Kakashi felt wrong for other reasons.
"What should I call you?" he asked. Better to get a name directly from them. Not-Iruka looked at him with a dead stare
"Umino-sensei," he said, pointing at himself. And then he pointed toward Not-Kakashi, "Hatake-sensei. Got it?"
"Got it," Kakashi nodded in confirmation. Umino and Hatake would work much better than his old names for them anyway.
As it turned out, Umino was a science teacher. Him and Hatake both taught third year, which Kakashi reasoned was why that sat at the same table in the staff room at school. Umino was… less than enthused when Kakashi pointed that out. Something about him being a 'stalker'.
Kakashi brushed it off and went back to eating his food. All three boxed lunches were a variation of noodles. His own contained a sort of mystery meat with vegetables in a thick sauce, and the other two did not vary greatly. Hatake's seemed to not contain any meat at all, and Kakashi wondered idly for a minute if he could possibly be a vegetarian.
The hot sun beat down from overhead. They'd started moving right at sunrise that morning, which was at roughly 5am. Kakashi was thankful for the early light that came in the summer months. It was now closer to 1:30, just after the hottest part of the day. They had been keeping within the dense forest for the majority of their walk in order to escape the sun's harsh rays. Kakashi was pleasantly surprised, given the circumstances. It was obvious that Hatake and Umino were worn out, but they hadn't complained, not even once. This break was well deserved.
The three sat in silence, the ever present sound of the cicadas drowning out the noise of wooden chopsticks and slurping. It was peaceful. Kakashi knew that sunset this time of year wasn't until 7pm. His plan was to pack up and continue moving in around half an hour, which meant they would have another five hours of walking ahead of them. He knew the two teachers could handle it.
In the calm, peaceful setting, the only warning Kakashi got that something was wrong was the faint sound of rustling leaves. Dropping his food container on the bench, he looked up with wide eyes to see—
"Police! Put your hands up!"
The three of them jolted out of their seats, food now forgotten on the ground, as ten officers suddenly moved to surround them in a circle. The ominous barrels of guns were pointed at them and Kakashi had to resist shivering at the memory of his last encounter with the deadly weapon. Kakashi was expecting to run into the authorities eventually, just not nearly this quickly. He damned this world for not having chakra, for not allowing him to be able to sense their approach.
If he were by himself, this encounter wouldn't be a problem at all. But he had people he needed to protect.
"When I say 'Get down,' you get down," Kakashi whispered as the three of them slowly lifted their hands in the air, slipping into mission mode. He was thankful for his medical mask at times like these. The officers wouldn't have been able to tell that he was saying anything at all, "Understand?"
Kakashi could hear quickened breathing coming from Umino and a loud gulp from Hatake. Their eyes had flown wide open and he could tell after a quick look that their pupils had dilated from the sudden stress. But they both gave him the slightest nod to let him know they heard him. Kakashi would have to commend them later for standing their ground as well as they did, despite the circumstances.
He watched as the police slowly lowered their weapons. It was only a matter of time before they attempted to approach for the arrest. Capture, however, was out of the question. Kakashi waited until the last barrel was pointed at the ground before calling out.
"Get down!" Kakashi gave the sharp command as he gathered chakra in his feet and legs, allowing him to jump high into the air. With no less than ten guns pointed at him, he was able to anticipate the bullets this time. He could see the instant fingers began to tighten on the triggers.
He was able to time it so that just before the sudden rain of projectiles pierced through his body, Kakashi substituted himself with a nearby log. Said log, however, was covered in a dozen exploding tags that he'd created a couple days ago. The resulting explosion created a show that would without a doubt distract the officers without doing them any real harm. While they were disoriented, he shunshin'd to each one to knock them out with a sharp blow to the neck. The body armor they wore this time was much more extensive than the last, but it had its weak spots. It wasn't anything he couldn't handle.
When the smoke had cleared, he could see Umino and Hatake, crouching with their hands over their heads in front of the bench. Kakashi looked at them for another moment before he silently began dragging the unconscious bodies into the section of tall grass nearby the river bank. He wanted them to be found eventually, of course, but he wanted them hidden enough that they'd get a head start. The other two seemed to get the memo and began helping him drag the bodies.
Kakashi could hear them panting at the shock and exertion when he turned to face them. He absently noted that there were grey specks on their person, most likely ash from his exploding log substitution. Kakashi felt a sharp pain in his chest. He'd told them that he could make sure all three of them got up to Hokkaido safely. But how could he possibly do that if he couldn't even detect a few measly officers? But he shook his head, not allowing himself to dwell.
Kakashi looked again at the ash covering Umino and Hatake and realized that something wasn't right. Something was fishy about the officers showing up this soon into their journey, and he wanted to get to the bottom of it.
"I've been carefully covering our tracks, so there shouldn't have been any way they would be able to find us. I will ask you one more time," Kakashi said. He tried not to let his anger slip into his voice, but he had a funny feeling his was failing at that. Though in reality, he was more angry at himself than anyone for nearly failing, for allowing his charges to be in danger, "Do you have any tracking devices on you?"
He knew the instant Hatake's eyes shot open that the man had forgotten about something the first time he asked. The teacher hand slowly slipped into his pocket and pulled out a small device. It appeared to be a cell phone of sorts, folded in half.
"Damn," Umino said, letting out a low whistle, "The battery on mine's been dead for a while, but those things last forever. Who knew a flip phone would be our downfall."
Hatake, with a terribly guilty look in his eyes and not a word to be spoken, handed the phone over to Kakashi. His double flinched as he broke it in half at the hinge before tossing it into the river.
"Let's move," Kakashi said, not looking at either of them, "We have a lot of ground to cover before sundown."
Umino and Hatake silently followed him.
Kakashi was keeping watch again that night. He would be fine to go one more night after this one before he was in need of sleep. The night was silent and he was expecting to not run into any more officers anytime soon. What he wasn't expecting was for Hatake to walk up to where he was sitting. His duplicate silently sat down next to him.
Hatake stared at the ground, and then at his hands, and then back at the ground. He seemed distracted by something.
"If you want to say something," Kakashi said, "then out with it."
"I…" Hatake mumbled, his voice cracking. Kakashi offhandedly wondered if the man was still sick. He continued, "I, uh, want to apologize for earlier today."
Oh.
"It's alright," he responded, at a bit of a loss of what to say. What was he supposed to tell the man? Kakashi himself was truly the one to blame for that situation with the police. He awkwardly said, "I don't blame you for what happened earlier today. It was an honest mistake."
"No," Hatake said suddenly, sharply, and Kakashi looked up at him. He was staring straight ahead when he said barely at a whisper, "I've very consistently been a fuck up my entire life. It's just the way I am. This is just one item to the long list."
"Huh," Kakashi muttered. This was most definitely not the conversation he was expecting to have. The first thought that went through his mind was how unbelievably unqualified he was to be having this conversation. He idly thought to himself that he suddenly knew how Tenzo felt whenever he had one of his frequent depressing episodes. His kohai tended to be a bit of a mother hen, always telling him to stop, trying to cheer him up when he got too self-deprecatory. But Tenzo wasn't here right now. So he did what he could.
He himself had a long history of doing things that hurt others, things that he wasn't proud of. Could that particular character trait, being a fuck-up, as Hatake so eloquently put it, be a similarity that they shared across dimensions? He continued, "That's strange, because I've got quite the long list myself."
"Hm?" Hatake mumbled, his eyes lidded. Kakashi could see an all too familiar, long lived sorrow nestled deep within them. It was often the look he saw in himself when he stared at a mirror for too long. The fact that he could recognize that look in the eyes of a civilian was unnerving.
"I somehow forced one of my students to seek out a homicidal maniac for power for one," he said with a sad smile, thinking of all the ways he had failed Sasuke. He turned his head to look out into the forest.
"Hm. I've forced all of my friends out of my life of multiple occasions for selfish reasons without even realizing it," Hatake said, his voice growing softer. Kakashi let a sad smile form on his face. That was definitely something he'd been guilty of, mostly during his ANBU days. Perhaps him and Hatake were indeed more alike than he'd first realized.
"It's because of me that my best friend almost died," Kakashi said, remembering the memory of Obito being crushed by the cave in. Of not being able to save him from what he had become. But then—
"It's because of me that my father killed himself."
And that made Kakashi pause. For a second he felt like he couldn't breath in enough air. He suddenly felt like he eight years old again, standing over his father's curled up corpse after his suicide. Not seppuku, because that would've been too honorable. No, it had been a fast acting poison that had gotten him in the end. Kakashi looked up at Hatake and froze, holding his breath.
Tears flowed freely from the man's eyes and down his cheeks. He was staring straight ahead into the darkness of the forest with a hollow, absent smile and breathed deep breaths, but Kakashi could tell he was barely keeping his composure. He could see the way the man's shoulders shivered some kind of underlaying emotion. Anger? Fear?
"My father," Kakashi began. He hated himself for allowing his voice to crack in the way that it did, for allowing himself to be so affected after all these years. But this was important, not just for himself, but for both of them. He wanted Hatake to hear this. He continued, "had to make an impossible choice. He made the wrong one, and the village hated him for it. So he killed himself."
"I'm gay," Hatake responded, his voice now hiccupping through the tears, "My father would never have blood related children, and his family ridiculed him. He had depression. So he killed himself."
Kakashi paused at that, but the other man didn't elaborate. If his father hadn't poisoned himself after that mission that had gone terribly wrong, Kakashi thought grimly, perhaps he'd have gone out in a similar way.
Their confessions were met by a silence drowned out by the cacophony of the forest, by the sound of the thriving life surrounding them.
They sat there in newfound mutual understanding, surrounded by the sounds of the cicadas and the crickets, the sounds of sharp intakes of breath soon added in to hide the sound of sobs.
It was the strangest therapy session he'd experienced in a while and he wasn't quite sure what to make of it. The two of them sat there in silence until the sun rose, wallowing in each other's pain, relishing each other's company.
