A/N: I hope this chapter doesn't seem too much out of place. I'm giving Alice a bigger role than I had orginally intended. So I hope this doesn't confuse or throw anyone off too much.
ALICE
Dear Diary,
I did something terrible the other day. I drank from my first human in six months. I didn't know what else I could do. The whole family was in front of me. I didn't have a choice. I'm still too scared to tell them that I've gone back to the vegetarian ways. I didn't know what they would do if they found it.
Besides, everythings falling apart. It has been since the war began. Since Bella and Edward starting falling apart. It felt like it was their love that held the family together when times got tough. We knew that if their love survived it then we would too. But when their marriage started falling apart so did the family. All Bella and Edward do is fight. Esme and Carlisle barely speak anymore and when the do it's cold and detached. As for Jasper and I, I know he doesn't love me anymore. I can feel it everytime he looks at me. I have a feeling that he's found someone else and just doesn't want to hurt me by asking for a divorce. I haven't yet had the courage to check the future to see if I'm right.
I hate what we've become since the war. When we took over the human world, we forgot that we were all once human too. We were forced into this existence. And we are forcing the humans into an existence were they do nothing but serve us. How is that fair? We're being total hypocrites and no one sees that. Edward always said he'd never condemn someone to his life but weren't we condemning them to a fate worse.
And what about what happened to Nessie? She was pulled away from us by an unjust "government." Yet, here we were unjustly taking children and parents away from their families. What's the difference? I don't know anymore.
I wish we could just go back to the way were before the war but I don't have the guts to mention it to anyone in the family. Not even Edward. Which just went to show how far apart we had become. I used to be able to talk to Edward about everything. But now, I don't know if I can even trust him not to rat me out. I hate this. I hate them for becoming what they are now.
I feel sad all the time. I'm doing the best I can to help take care of these girls but it's getting harder and harder to keep Edward from switching girls every couple months and letting Bella play with the left overs. I makes me sick to see it.
He has some horrible things planned for Kari, his new girl. I'm still ashamed about killing her sister. Still, I couldn't avoid it. I hope she can forgive me for it. I still have to talk to her and let her know she can trust me. I hope she will believe me.
I'm really scared for her. Edward and Jasper made a bet because Jasper doesn't think Edward can break her. Edward loves his bets and he makes sure he wins. I took a look to see who wins and all I saw was blackness. I don't know what that means. I have some theories but I think I'll keep them to myself right now.
Well, that's all for the night. I'm going to go see Kari. I heard Edward was pretty rough on her last night. Bye for now.
L&H,
Alice
I reread the page with my most intimate thoughts of the day then slammed the book shut. I took a deep breath hoping that Kari would accept my help. From what I heard, she'd need a lot of it. I stood up from my desk and headed down to Bella and Edward's second floor bedroom.
I wasn't like the rest of my family. I didn't believe the humans were an inferior race to us. I didn't believe that they were only good enough to be food and slaves. I did until about three months after the war. That was when I met Peyton. She was mine and Jasper's personal slave for awhile.
Peyton was only twelve when Jasper decided that we had to have her and keep her. I remembered watching her cry as we dragged her away from her family. I remembered the look in her mother's eyes as the family kept her from coming after us. Peyton did nothing but cry for a week after we brought her here.
Unfortunately, I couldn't remember my human family at all. I don't remember feeling loved like that as a human. I did; however remember that feeling with my vampire family. I remember what it felt like when I was in danger of having one of them ripped from my life. I remembered how hard it was for me to leave them when the Volturi were threatening Nessie's life the first time.
The thing I remember most though was standing in that dark forest, the Volturi had lured us to, and feeling my heart being ripped away as I listened to Nessie's screams of agony and watched the fire consume her. It hurt worse knowing I couldn't stop it.
I realized that the agony Peyton felt was the same thing I felt when Nessie was taken from us. That was when I realized how wrong everything had become. I did my best to secretly make Peyton feel safe and comfortable. I did my best to keep Jasper and Edward from hurting her. I saved her from a lot of anguish but couldn't save her from death.
I don't even know what happened that night. I came home from shopping with Esme and Bella about two months after Peyton became ours. Jasper had gotten angry about something and beat her up pretty bad. I ran upstairs to see if there was anything I could do. She died from her injuries a few minutes later. I realized in that moment that I didn't want to be part of this world. I didn't want to use the humans. I just wanted us to live in peace with them like we used to.
I convinced the family that we needed to get a doctor so something like this didn't happen again. I made them think it was because it would be easier to keep the others alive so they wouldn't have to teach new girls how to act.
I also made it my personal job to make rounds every night and make sure the girls had everything the needed. If someone needed a few extra blankets or some water or whatever, I take care of them. They were all a little apprehensive at first but soon I had them swayed.
Also, the day Peyton died, I made a vow that I would go back to our vegetarian ways. It was hard to get the control back at first but I did it. Kari's sister was the first in six months. I was still disgusted and ashamed by that. I hoped she could forgive me for it.
As I made my way down the stairs, I found the way blocked by a young girl. She didn't look much older than ten. She was laying on a couple of the steps, crying. I knelt next to her and began to stroke her hair. She looked up, afraid at first but when she realized who it was, she calmed.
"What's wrong sweetheart?" I asked in a kind voice.
"I miss my family!" the girl sobbed.
It broke my heart to hear her say that. She was too young to be seperated from them. Damn the Volturi for screwing everything up.
Yes, I found it was easier to blame the Volturi for all of this. In my mind, none of this would've happened if they wouldn't have killed Nessie. The war would've never happened. Neither would the vampire take over. I knew in my mind it wasn't logical. My family made their own decisions. Still, it was easier for my heart to blame the Volturi.
"I know, sweetie." I whispered and pulled her to me. "What's your name?"
"Paige." she answered.
"I'm sorry. You were taken away, Paige." I said.
I didn't know what else to say. I could tell her I missed my family too. No, she was too young to understand that. I just held her until she stopped crying then I pulled her away from me.
"Why don't you go down to the kitchen and tell Caroline that Mistress Alice said to give you a brownie." I said. He face lit up a little as she got up and headed to the kitchen.
I convinced my family to do a lot. I had to pretend it was for other reason. I told them that we should have the cook, Tanya, make dessert. It would only be given to the girls who did an excepotional job for the day. They were served with the girl's dinner. I; however made it a point to make sure every girl got one every night.
I was surprised none of the others caught me yet. I figured Edward at the very least would've noticed something by now. Of course, everyone was probably too busy drowning in their own problems to notice anything. The point is I was getting away with it. I needed to stop questioning why.
I rose from the stairs and continued to Edward and Bella's room. As I approached, I heard Edward yell,
"BELLA, STOP IT NOW!" It was truly terrifying. I've only once seen him that angry and that was the day his daughter was murdered. "It's one thing to beat on the family slaves but it's another to beat on mine."
I thought I should wait outside until the were done fighting. I heard Bella growl at him then say,
"Well, I wouldn't have to if you would stop screwing them! If you have to screw somebody, why can't it be another vampire?"
"First of all, if you would screw with me then this wouldn't be an issue." Edward said. "And I use the humans because you're the only vampire, I want to screw!"
Bella didn't say anything after that. I heard silence for a second then a small moan of pain and Bella stomped out the door. She was so angry she didn't even notice me. There was more silence as I stood in the hall wondering what just happened.
"Alice?" Edward said. He read my thoughts and knew I was there.
"Yes?" I replied.
"Can you go get Dr. Garfunkle?" he said.
"Certainly." I replied.
I used my vampire speed to run down to the room where the doctor stayed. I knocked on his door. It took him a minute to open it.
"Mistress Alice," he said with a slight incline of his head. I was the only one he had any respect for. Mostly because I tried not to hurt the girls. "What can I do for you?"
"Edward needs you." I said. "I think Bella went after his new girl."
He nodded and we both headed back to Edward's bedroom.
Twenty minutes later, the doctor told us that Kari only had a few bruises. He extended his order for her recovery from four days to a week. Then he left. I was interested in Edward's feelings towards her. He seemed very upset that Bella had hurt Kari. It wasn't the usual upset. It was downright anger.
He looked at me because he heard what direction my thoughts were going. I saw there was the ever present anger but there were many other confusing emotions too. There was regret, sadness, fear, pain, and confusion. What was he thinking about her?
"We'll talk later." he said knowing I suspected something. He turned his attention back to Kari. "Kari, I know I said the bed would be a more comfortable spot to recover but the cage might be safer. I'm the only one who has the key. Bella won't be able to get to you in there."
Kari nodded. Knowing we both had things to tell later, I didn't see the harm in helping him help Kari to the cage. We didn't say anything as Edward locked the cage and we walked out.
A/N: This one didn't turn out as good as I had hoped it would. I'm not sure why. I think maybe I planned it two days before I wrote it and forgot a lot of my original plan. I hope it turned out okay enough to keep the story moving though. Let me know.
