Rekindling the Music of the Night
By: K.C. Vaillancourt
Disclaimer - You know the drill…I do not own anything associated with The Phantom of the Opera and have no affiliation with ALW, Leroux, or Kay. All publicly recognizable characters, settings, and songs are the property of their respective owners. No profit is being made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended. This is purely for my enjoyment and the enjoyment of others.
Just as a quick warning I do edit all my work before I post and have people read my work but there still may be some grammar mistakes. I apologize for them in advance.
Author Note – Thank you all for taking the time to read, review, follow, or favorite my Phanfic. I can't thank you enough for making this story such a success. Without you, this story wouldn't be what it is.
I profusely apologize that it has taken me so long to get the next chapter of this story up. As it happens so often life continued to get in the way and this kept getting pushed to the back burner. Now that I am back I am excited to share this next part with you.
The songs in this chapter are "Lost in the Darkness" from Jekyll and Hyde, "Time Heals Everything" from Mack and Mabel, "Without You" from Rent, and "Light" by Sleeping at Last.
Now on with our story, I hope when you reach the end of this chapter you feel it was worth the wait!
Lost in the Darkness
A few hours earlier, it was a crisp November afternoon and Christine was snuggled beside Erik as they went for their daily walk which usually led them to their forest glen. A rare snow had fallen the night before which only enhanced its beauty.
Christine laughed as she threw snowballs at Erik but was disappointed when she couldn't convince him to throw them back. The further along she got in her pregnancy the more protective and nervous he became. Thankfully they had Roger or Christine knew she'd most likely had been on bedrest if Erik had his way. Throughout the day she'd been experiencing pain in her back that would come and go, she'd experienced it before but today it seemed to be stronger and sharper.
As they were walking back to the house she felt a shooting pain in her abdomen so intense she cried out and nearly fell to the ground.
"Christine!" Erik exclaimed catching her in his arms.
"I'm..." She was overcome with pain once more falling to her knees gripping her stomach as tears came to her eyes. "Erik." She said through gritted teeth. "Erik something's wrong it's..." She breathed hard as another contraction came over her. She felt something wet running down her legs and gasped when she saw the snow under her feet turn a pale red. "No." She whispered, tears streaming faster down her cheeks. She looked up at Erik who was unable to hide the terror in his eyes. "It's too soon. Something must be wrong."
"It'll be alright." Erik tried to assure her knowing he had to be strong for her. "We'll get you to Roger." He said cradling her in his arms. "And everything will be alright."
Christine held on to Erik with all she had as he ran back toward the house. She felt another contraction and closed her eyes. Please Lord let our baby survive. She prayed. I know you have given us many blessings but please, please don't take this one from us.
Erik rushed inside the house screaming for Roger. He had Christine brought up to their bedroom while Meg went to town to get the nurses Roger had brought on to assist him. After Marie was finished getting supplies she told Erik he had to leave the room. He tried to argue that fathers not being present during birth was an arcane rule and that he and Christine didn't care much for what was proper, but Roger assured him it had nothing to do with propriety and everything to do with what was best for Christine and the baby. After that he stopped fighting them, so they could focus on Christine.
It had been hours and Erik had been told nothing. All he could do was pace the floor of the hallway his heart breaking every time he heard his beloved scream. It took all he had not to burst into their bedroom. He sat down putting his head in his hands a tear sliding down his cheek as Christine screamed his name. He let his mind drift back to their wedding day trying not to focus on how terrified he was. He replayed every precious moment but the image of Christine nearly collapsing on the ground invaded his mind. The terror he saw in her eyes was all he could see as he heard another distressing scream from inside their room.
"Erik!" Christine screamed as another contraction swept over her. She tried to breathe through it like Marie taught her, but the pain was unlike anything she'd experienced or been told about. Meg used a cool cloth from the basin on the nightstand to wipe the sweat from her brow but more instantly took its place.
"Christine," Roger said. "Christine I know it's difficult but I need you to focus so we can bring your baby into the world."
"No," Christine replied. "It's too soon. " She took a deep breath. "You said before the wedding...you thought we had 2-3 more months to go. You have to stop..."
"Christine your water broke. I can't stop your labor but I promise you I will do what I can to ensure you and the baby are alright."
Christine let her head fall back on the pillows tears streaming down her cheeks. "Erik." She whispered. "Please." She said looking at Meg. "Please get Erik. I need him."
Meg wiped the sweat from her brow once more and felt her resolve to keep Erik out the room crumble as she looked into the desperate eyes of her friend. "Alright, I'll go..."
"No, you will not." Marie cut in ringing out a fresh cloth and handing it to Meg. "Christine it's not..."
"I don't," She said through gritted teeth. "Give a damn about what's proper." She took a deep breath. "Neither does Erik. You should know that by now. I need him beside me. Now, will one of you please..." She was rendered speechless as a stronger contraction began accompanied by pressure and a strong need to push. "Oh god. I think the baby's coming."
"Christine," Roger said looking up at her from the end of the bed. "I know you'd like Erik here with you but as I said to both of you earlier the fewer people that are in here the safer it is for you and your child. Between Meg, Marie, the nurse, the wet nurse, and myself it's a bit crowded for my liking. Now, I need you to focus, it's time to push."
Meg and the nurse each held one of Christine's legs while Marie stayed at her side to help focus on her breathing.
"When the next contraction comes I want you to push until I tell you to push," Roger instructed.
It wasn't long and Christine pushed as hard as she could. Even when Roger told her to stop she had very little time to recover before she was pushing again.
"Wait," Roger said just as she was about to start pushing again.
Christine found it difficult to stop when it was all her body wanted her to do. "What's wrong?" She asked seeing the concern on Roger's face.
"Your baby is breach."
"What does that mean?" Christine asked trying not to panic.
"The baby isn't coming out head first like it's supposed to. I've seen this before. It's a more difficult delivery so I'm really going to need you to give it all you have and focus on my instructions."
"Is our baby going to die?"
"I am going to do every..."
"Don't patronize me," Christine said. "Just tell me."
"Given the early labor and position of the baby, it's a possibility."
Christine felt another contraction and pushed as hard as she could while tears streamed down her cheeks.
"Nothing's happening. I need you to push harder."
"Promise me," Christine said as she pushed. "Promise me if something happens and you have to choose between saving my life or the baby's, you'll save the baby."
"Christine there's no reason to think..."
"Promise me," Christine repeated.
Roger was silent as he concentrated on helping the baby along. He'd had a similar conversation with Erik only a few days before only Erik had insisted he save Christine, reasoning that they could have more children. He'd been careful to promise nothing due to the unpredictability of labor and delivery.
"Roger," Christine said. "I can tell something's wrong. I can see it in your eyes." She took a moment to catch her breath. "Give me your word. If it comes down to me or the baby."
"I will save the baby. You have my word." Roger said. "Now, your baby isn't progressing down the birth canal. I'm doing what I can to help it along but on the next contraction I need you to push as with all you have left."
Christine nodded giving it all she had.
"Good." He said happy to see the baby starting to move. "Your baby's almost here. One more big push."
Christine screamed as she pushed praying for strength.
"It's a boy," Roger announced taking the newborn baby in his arms.
"He's supposed to be crying," Christine said. "Roger why isn't he..." Then she heard it. The first cries of her son. It is was the most beautiful sound she'd ever heard.
"Sometimes they take a moment," Roger said placing the newborn in her arms.
"Hello." She said through happy tears not paying attention to what anyone around her was doing. He was small, but perfect. He had fair white skin like Erik with a full head of auburn hair. His eyes were a deep dark blue but she knew that would change in time. She bounced him as he cried tracing her fingers over his cheeks that bared no sign of Erik's deformity. "Your father is going to be ecstatic when he sees you." She whispered. "Shh. Shh. Shh. I know my darling boy. You've been through a..." She felt a wave of pain course through her and was shocked when she felt the same pressure to push. "Roger." She said looking up at him. "Something's happening." She let Marie take her son while Roger checked her.
"It would seem your son wasn't content with being an only child."
"What?" Christine said in disbelief. Twins. She thought. We've been blessed with not one little miracle but two.
"I can see the head." Roger said. "Time to push on the next one."
Christine was exhausted and felt weak but forged ahead pushing with everything she had left.
"It's a girl." Roger said but didn't hand her to Christine instead turning towards a small white table. "Marie I need your assitance."
"Wait." Christine said. "What's happening?" She gasped when she saw a glimpse of the pale blue color of her daughters skin. "Oh god. She's not breathing."
Neither Roger or Marie said anything as they worked on the baby girl.
"Christine." Meg said while a nurse, Isabella, tended to her and Anna, the wet nurse began bathing her son. "They're doing everything they can."
"Meg, she's blue. She's not crying. What if she's..."
"Don't think like that. Everything will be alright." Meg tried to assure her while holding her hand and praying this joyous day didn't become a tragedy.
Christine didn't notice Isabella help her deliver the afterbirth. Her eyes were fixed on Marie and Roger while she prayed that any moment their daughter's cry's would join their son's.
Every second felt like an eternity until finally, she heard a small sound that turned into the loud wails of their baby girl. She smiled as she listened to both her children and fell back on the pillows behind her feeling drained. She felt gushes of something between her legs and was light headed. The room began to spin. She didn't know what was happening but felt the world going dark. Meg had gone to check on her daughter and everyone else was tending to something. She didn't have the strength to call out. Erik, take care of them. She thought as she slipped into darkness.
"Christine she is absolutely beau..." Meg said but stopped when she saw Christine had passed out and the blood pooled beneath her on the bed.
Erik paced the floor certain he'd eventually wear a hole in it. He expected someone to come get him so he could be with Christine and their child but the door remained closed. As he listened to the baby cry a knot began to form in his stomach. His palms were sweaty as he thought about seeing his child for the first time and what he or she may have inherited.
As he listened to the baby he thought he heard two distinctly different cries but was distracted as his attention was drawn to the muffled movements and hushed conversation happening inside. He wanted more than anything to rush through the door but knew if something had gone wrong he could be a potentially fatal distraction.
His pace quickened as his anxiety rose. He tried to sit again and sip his cold tea but it did no good and he was up pacing again. Seconds felt like minutes, minutes felt like hours. Two hours had passed, the intermittent cries of the baby had died down and still no one had come for him. It's taking far too long. He thought. Something's gone terribly wrong. His mind began to fill with horrifying thoughts as to what could be happening. He needed to know, needed to be there with her, and distraction or not no one was going to keep him in this hall any longer.
He marched to the door and just as he was about to open it he found himself face to face with Roger. His hands and shirt stained with crimson blood.
"The baby...?" Erik asked before Roger could say anything.
"Marie and Anna are tending to them now." Roger responded fighting to keep his voice even.
"Them? Christine was carrying twins?"
Roger nodded. "You have a daughter, and a son. Twin pregnancies can be difficult to detect which could be part of what caused the early..."
"Christine." Erik cut in. "Is she alright?"
"Erik..." Roger hesitated. "Erik I'm sorry but there were, complications."
Erik felt his breath catch in his chest and his heart begin to pound. He knew his entire life hung on Roger's next words. "What kind of complications?"
"Everything was progressing normally until your son began crowning. He was breach, meaning his buttocks were coming out first instead of his head. It made the delivery harder and more dangerous."
"Why didn't you send for me?"
"There was no time and too many people in the room already. I needed Christine to focus. I was able to deliver your son but it wasn't long before Christine told me she felt the need to push again and I was shocked to see your daughter crowning. I delivered her but she was blue and not breathing. Marie and I performed cardiopulmonary resuscitation and were able to get her back. Meg called to me not long after. Christine had begun bleeding heavily after delivering the afterbirth."
Erik felt his heart sink, his worst nightmare coming true. "Is she?"
"She's alive but her condition is grave. I was able to stop the bleeding but due to the blood loss she has slipped into a coma."
"How…" Erik said. "How did this happen?"
"There's no way to know for certain what caused this. Twin pregnancies put more stress on the body and can result in a premature birth. Pair that with possible scar tissue from the repeated terminated pregnancies Christine told me about and it could lead to the complications she experienced."
"When will she wake up?"
"I'm not sure." Roger admitted. "In my experience comas are unpredictable."
"Is it still possible she could die?"
"It's a miracle she's still with us now. I wish I could tell you she will be fine but I've seen this happen before and unfortunately I have never been able to save the mother. I'm sorry Erik. The longer she's in a coma the more likely it is she will die. I will watch her closely but it might be best to prepare yourself for the worst." Roger said his calm facade beginning to break. He put a hand on Erik's shoulder. "If there was anything more I could do."
"I know. You've done everything you can." Erik said feeling the joy turn to grief. He felt hollow. A piece of him was missing, a piece he knew he couldn't live without.
"The babies are in the nursery. They're small due to being born a few weeks early but appear to be in good health. Marie and I will monitor them closely since being premature they are more susceptible to post birth complications. I can take you to see them."
"No." Erik whispered. "I have to see her."
"There is nothing you can do for Christine, but you can be there for your children. You know she would want that."
Erik said nothing pushing past Roger and walking through the doorway.
Two maids had begun to clean the room and nearly jumped in fright when they heard the door close and looked up seeing his cold eyes filled with despair.
"Leave us." He ordered in a low hissing tone.
They nodded and headed for the door behind them leading into the nursery.
The room was dark with only a few candles providing light and it's usual warmth replaced by cold. It felt like being back in his opera house prison. Blood soaked rags and sheets littered the wood floor, basins that used to contain clear water were now dark red. He took a deep breath forcing himself to look at the one sight he was terrified to see.
He lifted his head and there she was, his beloved wife laying still as stone in their bed. He slowly walked over and sat next to her. Her skin was pale, her hand cold in his. The white night dress she wore was stained with blood and her hair was a mass of tangles and strewn about the pillows but even in this state, she was beautiful. He caressed her cold cheek holding back the tears and sorrow that threatened to overcome him. "How could they leave you like this?"
He carefully removed her ruined clothes and the blood-soaked sheets from the bed. Using the only fresh basin of water in the room he washed the excess blood from her skin before putting on a fresh night dress. He brushed the knots out of her brown hair and laid her back down on the fresh sheets and pillows he fetched from the closet and covered her with a woolen blanket.
He sat down next to her and took her hand in his. "Christine." He whispered. "You look so peaceful, like your sleeping. You've just done an amazing thing and I know you're tired but I need you to open your eyes. I need to see you look back at me, speak to me. Please Christine, listen to my voice and come back." He fell silent, waiting, but nothing happened. "Roger says you could still die but I refuse to believe it. You're strong. You're a fighter, you've proved it time and again. I know you'll fight this too and come back. I can't believe we've come this far and endured so many hardships to lose one another now. It was only two short weeks ago we took our vows, you can't leave me now." A few tears fell from his eyes. He could feel the dampness under his mask while the others made a trail down his cheek. "If you need strength use mine. Use as much as you need. I know you can hear me and I love you. Please come back to me." He sighed. "Lost in the darkness," He sang closing his eyes. "Silence surrounds you. Once there was morning, Now endless night. If I could reach you, I'd guide you and teach you to walk from the darkness back into the light. Deep in your silence, Please try to hear me; I'll keep you near me till night passes by. I will find the answer. I'll never desert you. I promise you this, till the day that I die."
He looked up when he heard a door open and saw Meg come in from the nursery.
"Erik." She said putting a hand on his shoulder. As hard as she tried she couldn't hold back her tears. "I can't imagine what you must be going through. Christine was..."
"Don't." Erik said trying to keep his tone even. "Don't eulogize her. She's not..." He couldn't bring himself to say the word. "She's here, her heart is beating. Don't talk about her like she's part of the past."
"I wasn't." Meg said. "All I wanted to say was she was so happy when the babies were born. Perhaps I could stay and watch over her while you go and meet your children."
"No. When I see my children for the first time it will be with my wife."
"Erik you know Christine would want you to..."
"No." Erik said looking up at Meg. "Marie and the other's can look after them until then. Now, get out."
Meg was about to argue when he turned away from her but decided to do as he asked. I pray for his and your children's sake that you do wake up Christine. She thought and left the way she came.
Erik sat in silence watching Christine's chest rise and fall. I know what you would want me to do. He thought and closed his eyes remembering a conversation they'd had a few days before.
They sat together on a chaise lounge in front of the fire in their sitting room. Christine watched the flames dancing as she rubbed her ever growing belly. "Do you think our child will be blessed with the gift of music?"
"I have no doubt." Erik replied. "I can't wait to discover the music our family will make together."
"Neither can I." She said and turned to look at him. "I have to admit as the day that I will give birth to our child gets closer I am becoming more nervous something will go wrong."
"Everything will be alright." He assured her trying to hide his own nerves.
"All I can seem to think about lately are the possible complications. I try not to let it cloud my excitement but I feel that familiar panic."
Erik took her hand in his. "You see this hand?" She nodded. "Next time you feel panic coming on, no matter where I am, come find me and grab this hand. I promise you I'll always be right here with you to get you through it and I'll never let go."
She leaned up pressing her soft lips to his. "If something does go wrong I need you to promise me something." She paused. "Promise me that you will love and care for our child no matter what. Promise me that you will harbor no resentment toward him or her if something happens to me or retreat into that dark place inside yourself. Please promise me."
Erik placed a hand on her stomach. "I am confident everything will be fine but should something happen I promise you our child will know my love, he or she will be bathed in all I can give." He leaned forward and laid a gentle kiss on her forehead.
"I'm sorry Christine." Erik said as the memory faded into darkness. "The first test of that promise and I have failed you. I'm sorry I made a promise to you that I can't keep. I can feel the darkness in my heart. The contempt for the infants that took you from me. When you asked me to make that promise did you honestly think I could care for them or tolerate them if they killed you?" He squeezed her hand tighter. "I know how horrible that sounds and how ashamed you would be to hear me say those words. When and if I do look upon our children's faces I need you by my side. We need to gaze upon the infants you brought into this world together. If it was your time you would be gone but you're here, you're fighting to stay. As long as your heart is beating I will be here. You will have strength and a voice to guide your way. I am begging you please come back to us Christine. I am nothing without you."
He could hold back no longer. He let his head fall on her chest and let out the anguish he had been holding in. His body was raked with sobs until he finally gave into exhaustion.
Erik opened his eyes and found himself standing in a familiar forest glen. The trees and flowers were in full spring bloom. He felt a presence behind him and a smile adorned his lips when he turned around and saw his beloved wife. He rushed to her taking her in his arms and held her close. "I thought I lost you."
"You will never lose me." She said reaching up to caress his cheek. "I will always be in your heart, and dreams."
"This…This isn't real." Erik said and stepped back really looking at the woman in front of him. It was Christine but not somehow. She looked younger, like the woman he tutored before a certain vicomte entered their lives. She was dressed in a pure white gown and emitted a glow that calmed him.
"It might be a dream but is it no less real?" Christine asked leaning up to lay a soft kiss on his lips.
"All my senses tell me this is real but I know when I open my eyes you will still be laying motionless in front of me. Are you here to say good bye?"
"Is that what you need? Is that why you've conjured me here?"
"No." Erik said pulling her close afraid to let her out of his arms. "I could never say good bye. I would miss all the things we'd never do. I can't believe you would leave me here alone. I'll never make it on my own."
"You're not alone and never will be. Our children will be with you, they need you."
"They're not you. They took you from me."
"You know that's not true. They're babies, innocents. They have nothing to do with what happened to me, but through them you'll always have a part of me."
"I don't want a part of you. I want you."
"Sometimes life isn't meant to work out the way we think and you promised to care for them no matter what."
"They have Meg and Marie."
"They need you." She said pulling herself out his arms and facing him with a pleading look in her eyes. "Please remember your promise to me. Please don't let our children grow up alone." She begged caressing his cheek. "Time heals everything." She began to sing. "Tuesday, Thursday, Time heals everything. April, August, If your patient the break will mend. And one fine morning the hurt will end. So make the moments fly. Autumn, Winter, I'll be by your side. Next year, Some year, Tho' it's hell your going through. Some Tuesday, Thursday, April, August, Autumn, Winter, Next year, Some year, Time heals everything. Time heals everything."
"But loving you." Erik sang grasping for Christine as she began to disappear in a glow of white light.
"So make the moments fly. Autumn, Winter, I'll be by your side. Next year, Some year, Though it's hell your going through. Some Tuesday, Thursday, April, August, Autumn, winter, Next year, Some year, Time heals everything. Time heals everything."
"But loving you!" He exclaimed as she disappeared from his sight.
Erik's eyes flew open and he looked up his heart shattering a bit more when he saw Christine still laying motionless in front of him. "Was it truly you in my dream?" He wondered. "Did you come to say good bye?" He grasped her hand tightly bringing it to his lips. "Please don't let this be our end my love. Don't go into the light where I can't follow." He caressed her cheek tracing a finger over her lips. "I've heard some say that the soul has a choice to stay or move on when hovering between life and death. If you can hear me I beg you to stay with me, stay with us. It's not your time to fly with angels."
He let go of her hand getting down on his knees. "I don't know if you can hear me or if your even there. I have not led a life of faith but she has. Christine is one of your children and I am begging you not to take her, not yet, please protect her. I know neither of us have led a life on the path you might wish but her faith in you has never wavered. Please do not forsake her."
He was silent as he sat back in his chair and held her hand. Through the small slit in the curtain he could see the sun had set and wondered if he would be forced to endure the rest of his days alone. Is this my true punishment for all I have done? He thought. To have known love and light only to have it ripped away. He gripped her hand tighter. " Without you," He sang. "The ground thaws, the rain falls, the grass grows. Without you, the seeds root, the flowers bloom, the children play. The stars gleam, the poets dream, the eagles fly, without you. The earth turns, the sun burns, but I die, without you."
The days passed in a haze and melded together. A day turned into a week and still no sign Christine would wake up. Erik refused to leave her side and no one could convince him otherwise. Roger kept a close watch on Christine and to his dismay she developed a fever, he gave her medicines to treat her but there was little else he could do.
"Without you," Erik sang as he rung out the cloth from the basin of cool water. He laid it on her forehead hoping it would reduce her fever. "The breeze warms, the girl smiles, the cloud moves. Without you, the tides change, the boys run, the oceans crash. The crowds roar, the days soar, the babies cry, without you. The moon glows, the river flows, but I die, without you. The world revives, colors renew, but I know blue, only blue, lonely blue, within me blue. Without you. Without you, the hand gropes, the ear hears, the pulse beats. Without you, the eyes gaze, the legs walk, the lungs breathe. The mind churns! The mind churns! The heart yearns! The heart yearns! The tears dry, without you. Life goes on, but I'm gone. Cause I die, without you. Without you. Without you. Without you."
In the kitchen Meg wiped away tears as Erik's anguished voice faded away. Roger put an arm around her pulling her close. "I know this will sound awful but…"
"I know." Meg said. "You would never wish death on anyone, but it's hard to deny that things wouldn't be a bit easier if she had passed." She sighed. "It feels horrible to hear or even think that but what about Christine. She looks peaceful but she must be in pain. It isn't fair that she is stuck up there, wasting away. If she had died we would all grieve but then begin to heal. Erik would go to his children…" She stopped when she heard a gentle knock on the door and smiled when she saw Nicole on the other side. She ushered her in and pulled her into a hug. "I'm so glad you came."
"It's good to see you too." Nicole said. "How's Christine?"
"Her condition hasn't changed." Roger said.
"And the babies?"
"They're doing well and seem to be adjusting to life outside the womb."
Nicole looked at Meg. "How's Erik?"
"I thought I saw the worst when Christine left him at the opera house but this is like nothing I've seen before. He doesn't sleep. He barely eats. He refuses to leave her side and will not see his children."
"I don't know how helpful I'll be." Nicole said. "We're still just getting to know one another."
"I know but we thought someone outside of the situation might be able to help him see some reason."
Nicole nodded noting the weariness and desperation on their faces. She made her way upstairs but before going to see Erik she decided to see her niece and nephew. When she entered the room she was greeted by a woman she assumed was the wet nurse. "Hello I'm Erik's sister, Nicole."
"It's lovely to meet you." Anna said getting up from the rocking chair with a tiny bundle in her arms. "I'm Anna, the Destler's wet nurse."
Nicole looked at the baby in her arms and smiled. "Can I hold…"
"Absolutely. This is the baby girl." Anna said placing her in Nicole's arms.
Nicole bounced her and cooed at the sleeping baby. "She's beautiful." She walked over to the crib and looked down at her nephew. "What a handsome boy. And both sleeping. When my boys were born it felt like they never slept."
"They have their moments but for the most part they are happy babies." She paused. "Although I do wish their father would come in to be with them."
Nicole gave her niece back to Anna. "Hopefully that will change today." She knocked on the door leading to Erik and Christine's bedroom but got no answer, after being greeted with silence for the third time she opened the door and walked in. The room was dark and dank. She frowned when she saw her brother. He was sitting next to Christine his hand in hers. She walked closer and saw his hair was disheveled, his mask and wig discarded on the floor. He didn't look at her but she knew if he did she'd see sunken eyes from lack of sleep.
Tears threatened to spill when she looked at Christine. She was pale, and her cheeks had sunken in a bit from obvious weight loss. The only sign of life at all was the slow rise and fall of her chest. She wiped her tears away and took a deep breath. She had to be strong and not waiver if she was going to get through to her brother.
Erik had heard the nursery door open and close and felt a presence in the room. "I'm not leaving her side." He said looking up expecting to see Meg. "What are you doing here?"
"Meg sent for me. She seems to think you'll listen to me, though I honestly can't imagine why."
Erik ignored her words and turned back to Christine. He grimaced when sunlight streamed into the room and watched Nicole open the next set of drapes. "We would prefer them closed."
"The sunlight is good for both of you." Nicole said and sighed walking up to her brother. "I'm so sorry for what happened, and I can't imagine the hell you're going through..." She paused trying to choose her words carefully but decided bluntness was the only way to go. "Christine isn't your only family anymore. There are two little babies in the next room that need their father."
"When Christine wakes up, we'll see them together."
"It's been a week. Seven days with no indication that her condition will change."
"It will." Erik insisted. "She just needs rest."
"Erik this isn't rest. She's in a coma. Your children need you. They need to feel safe in their father's arms. Would Christine really want you to sit here in despair, watching her waste away? Or would she want you to go to your children?" Her question was met with silence. "If Christine recovers she will be so disappointed that you..."
"Don't presume to know what Christine would think." Erik whispered trying to control the anger stirring inside him.
"Can you honestly sit there and tell me this is what Christine would want you to be doing instead of caring for..."
"Get out!" Erik yelled toppling his chair as he stood to face his sister.
"No." She replied crossing her arms in front of her chest. "You're only upset because you know I'm right. You have two children that need you and you're being a selfish bastard sitting in here watching your wife die while..."
"Get out!" Erik repeated. He took a breath and continued in a low threatening whisper. "I will not allow talk like that, now leave. Leave this room, this house, or else."
"Or else what?" Nicole said. "Is this what it was like to be in the presence of the infamous opera ghost who inspired fear in so many?" She paused looking directly into his blood shot eyes. "It will take much more than yelling or a threatening tone to scare me. I'm not Meg or Roger or anyone else who tiptoes around you instead of being bluntly, brutally honest with you."
"You barely know me. Don't assume you do because of the small snippets of my past that I've allowed you to know or think that you know my wife or what she would want."
"I may not know Christine like you do but I know this. She is a mother, and she would not want you in here sitting with her while your children are in the next room being cared for by strangers."
"I...I will care for them."
"When?"
"It's only been a week."
"That might as well be a year to an infant. They need to see you, need to bond with you." She paused. "Or are you afraid?" Erik said nothing and Nicole noticed he could no longer look her in the eye. "I see it now."
"You see what?"
"The real reason why you're not with them and it has nothing to do with wanting to see them for the first time with Christine. You're using her condition to hide behind what you truly fear, that your children have inherited what we did."
"That's not true." Erik whispered his eyes still cast down to the floor.
"The hell it isn't. The first time we met I saw the horror in your eyes when I told you Corbin inherited it, but you don't fear their appearance as much as you fear the guilt you think you'll feel every time you look at them." She sighed. "If Christine were to wake right now I know she would be overjoyed to be alive but that joy would turn to disappointment that her children have been without either of their parents." She took a breath. "I've said my piece and I apologize if my words caused you additional pain. I know I can't make you do anything, but please put aside your grief, your fear, and everything else for a moment and be honest with yourself about not only what your wife would want you to do but what your heart is telling you to do."
Erik sat back down taking Christine's hand in his as Nicole returned to the nursery. Sunlight streamed over Christine's face and Erik thought some of the color seemed to be returning to her cheeks. He brooded over everything Nicole had said. There weren't many people that would take such a firm stance with him but he had to admit she was right. He sighed closing his eyes trying to clear his mind of everything.
"Wait." Christine said. "Before we go back in I must know, are you alright?"
"I never thought I'd get the answers to the questions I had and honestly it is a lot to take in but the good far outweighs any negative feelings our conversation with Nicole brought to the surface. Part of me still can't fathom that I have a sister, a brother-in-law, nephews..."
"And you're alright knowing one of your nephews…"
"I should have known you'd hear that." He sighed. "I didn't want to dampen your happiness with my fears. Now that we know my deformity is hereditary it's more likely our child will have it."
"If he or she does will we love them any less?"
"Of course not!" Erik said placing a hand on her stomach. "I already love this child to the moon and back."
"Then there's nothing to worry about." Christine said placing a hand on his masked cheek. "Our child will be loved and happy no matter their appearance."
He opened his eyes wiping away a few tears and stroked Christine's cheek before pressing his lips to hers as he stood.
After taking a moment to freshen up and make certain his mask was secure he took a deep breath and with a trembling hand opened the door to the nursery.
Nicole looked up from putting the sleeping baby in her arms down in the crib and smiled when she saw her brother.
"M. Destler." Anna said with a smile. "It is good to see you."
"Thank you." Erik whispered staring at the crib.
"They've just been fed and are down for a nap."
Erik's heart pounded as he approached the crib. He turned to Anna. "I want you to know how grateful I am for the care you've provided my children. I apologize for not being more involved."
"I understand." Anna said glancing at their bedroom door. "Is there anything I can do for you?"
"No, thank you." Erik replied trying to steady his breaths as he turned back to the crib.
"Anna you've been with the children night and day. Perhaps now would be a good time to rest." Nicole suggested.
Anna nodded her thanks and left the room.
Nicole placed a hand on Erik's shoulder giving it a squeeze. "It'll be alright."
Erik put a hand on the crib rail breathing deep to attempt to calm his nerves. Without another thought he looked down at the sleeping infants. Tears brimmed in his eyes as he saw his son and daughter. He leaned down caressing their perfect pink cheeks with his thumb. "Thank god you have been spared from deformity." He whispered and looked at his daughter. "You are a beauty, like your mother." Then turned to his son. "I may not have met your grandfather but I'm certain you are handsome like him." He wiped away a tear and turned to Nicole. "What did I do in this life to be blessed with such angels?"
He could hold back no longer and let his tears flow freely as Nicole held him. "After the life you've endured, you deserve this miracle." She said letting her own tears fall.
He held his sister tight as he cried but for the first time in days they weren't tears of sadness but joy as his heart swelled with more love then he thought possible. Thank you for sparing my children the feel of a mask. He thought and let go of Nicole turning back to the sleeping babies. "I know I won't be able to spare them from the pain life can bring but from this day on not matter what, they will always have my acceptance and unconditional love."
They were right. Erik thought as he stared at them. He could feel his sadness lifting like a dense fog and deep love taking its place. You don't simply love your children. You fall in love with them. "I only wish your mother was here with me as I watch you sleep."
"She will be." Nicole said.
"You were right I was afraid, but not entirely for the reason you thought. I, I was afraid I wouldn't truly be able to love my children like other father's."
"You're right." Roger said coming to stand next to him. "You won't love your children like other father's, you'll love them more because I've never seen anyone love as fiercely as you. I'm happy to see you in here."
"I should have been here since day one. How are they? Are they healthy?"
"I know you haven't wanted to speak with me much beyond knowing Christine's health but if there had been complications I would have forced you to listen to me. They are happy, healthy babies who will no doubt be happier now that their father is with them."
"They should never have been forced to be without me."
"You're here now." Nicole said. "It's what you do next that's important."
"Roger." Erik said. "I am so very sorry for how I've treated you this past week."
"I understand." Roger replied. "Had it been Meg I don't know that I would have reacted any differently."
Erik nodded unable to take his eyes off the sleeping infants. "I suppose we should let them sleep. Would you both join me in the next room?"
"If you don't mind I'd like to stay with them." Nicole said. "I'm sure you and Roger have things to discuss."
Erik nodded leading Roger back into their bedroom and to Christine's side. "Has there been any sign that she'll come back to us?"
Roger took a moment to examine her before answering. "I'm afraid not. Her fever has gone down and outwardly she looks to be in relatively good health considering. But I must be honest, the longer this lasts the more likely it is she will pass away."
"She'll wither." Erik said. "Like a dying Rose."
"If you and Christine have taught me anything it's to never give up hope. I'm a doctor and as such must give you the facts about her condition. I've also seen people defy what most would consider medically possible. It's a miracle she is still with us now and I think if anyone is going to defy the odds it will be Christine Daae." They stood in silence for awhile, Roger said a prayer for them and squeezed Erik's shoulder before leaving the room.
Erik sat down letting the silence hang in the air. "I wish you could see them."
"She did." A voice said from behind him.
He looked up and saw Meg standing on the other side of the bed.
"She held her little boy before his sister was born."
"She did? What about our daughter?"
Meg shook her head. "She passed out before she got the chance. I'm sorry, I should have told you before."
"I doubt I would have listened if you did. I haven't wanted to hear anything, from anyone, too wrapped up in my own despair to give a thought or care to what anyone else said or was going through." He stood and approached Meg. "I am so sorry for how horrible I've been."
Meg pulled him into a hug. "I know this has been a nightmare for you." She held back her tears. "This isn't how this was supposed to be. If I could do anything."
"You already did. You sent for Nicole, and I can't thank you enough for that."
"I hoped she'd be able to get through to you."
"She certainly did."
"Did you hold them?"
"They were asleep." Erik said. "But just seeing them warmed by heart."
Meg's smile widened. "Roger thought we should tell you that they didn't inherit your deformity in hopes you'd go to them but I…"
"I don't know that it would have made much of a difference. I think in my heart I always knew they hadn't but refused to acknowledge it. It was easier to be lost in the darkness I knew then to be open to light and the possibility that I would be raising them alone."
"She's still with us." Meg said looking at Christine. "As long as her heart beats there is hope to be had."
"I will never give up on her, but I also can't continue to ignore the promise I made."
"Did you and Christine have a name picked?"
"We decided to wait until after the baby was born. Somehow Christine knew the perfect name would come to us once we saw our child and she was right. Though I don't know if it's fair for me to name them without her."
"When she wakes up she'll love their names as much as you do."
"You're right." He said and turned to go back to the nursey with Meg following behind him.
"Oh shh shh, it's ok baby girl." Nicole said rocking her in her arms. "Look." She said when she heard the door open. "Your daddy's here." She looked at Erik. "Are you ready to hold her?"
"Yes, but I'm not sure how." Erik admitted.
"It's easy." Nicole said and soon Erik was holding his daughter in his arms while Meg picked up his son who had begun to fuss.
Erik stared down at his baby girl sure to support her head as Nicole had instructed. She stared up at him her cries quieting as he bounced her. "My beautiful Odette."
"Oh, that is a lovely name." Nicole said.
"And his name?" Meg asked.
"Alexander." Erik replied.
"A strong name for a strong boy." Meg said. "Christine will love them."
Both babies began to fuss and after being changed and fed they were back in Erik and Meg's arms while Nicole sketched the scene in front of her as she stood by the fireplace.
Erik hummed while he swayed with Alexander and it wasn't long before humming turned to song. "May this song be the first to find your ears. The world is brighter than the sun Now that you're here. Though your eyes will need some time to adjust. To the overwhelming light surrounding us. I'll give you everything I have, I'll teach you everything I know. I promise I'll do better. I will always hold you close but I will learn to let you go. I promise I'll do better. I will soften every edge, I'll hold the world to its best and I'll do better. With every heartbeat I have left I will defend your every breath. And I'll do better. Because you are loved You are loved more than you know. I hereby pledge all of my days to prove it so. Though your heart is far too young to realize. The unimaginable light you hold inside. I'll give you everything I have I'll teach you everything I know. I promise I'll do better. I will always hold you close but I will learn to let you go. I promise I'll do better. I will rearrange the stars Pull 'em down to where you are. I promise, I'll do better. With every heartbeat I have left
I'll defend your every breath. I promise I'll do better. I will soften every edge hold the world to its best. I promise I'll do better. With every heartbeat I have left I'll defend your every breath."
His last note hung in the air and he smiled seeing both his children were sound asleep.
"You're a natural." Meg said laying Odette down in the crib.
"We'll see." Erik said placing Alexander down next to her and kissing their foreheads. "Sleep well my angels."
In their bedroom a stream of sunlight brightened Christine's pale face as her eyes began to flutter open and closed. "Erik" She whispered barely audible. "Erik" She tried to say again but her throat was so dry it only came out as a hoarse whisper. She forced her heavy lids open but quickly closed them when the bright light hit her eyes. She could feel panic overtake her as she tried to move but found herself too weak to even lift her arm. What's happened to me? She thought as she fought harder to move and tried to remember. She heard a door open and close and forced her eyes open to see who was approaching her.
Erik saw Christine and froze when for the first time in a week he looked at her and her chocolate brown eyes were looking back at him.
"Erik." She breathed trying to smile as she stared at him.
As he heard her whisper his name he was stirred out of his shock and ran to her side dropping to his knees as tears streamed down his cheeks his eyes never leaving hers. He took her hand and brought it to his lips. "Thank god you came back to us." He whispered placing a hand on her cheek.
"I had you to guide me, my angel."
