Chapter 14:
"Wait so, Dr. Wolenzcak is?" Nathan hesitated as he interrupted the story.
"Dead, yes Cynthia as well." Kristin responded curtly, "He left a note basically blaming his failures and bad parenting on Lucas. He decided to end it all because people would look down on him and just not understand that. The bastard could have at least said he loved his son in it but, I suppose blaming Lucas was easier for him. Lucas took the news well, he didn't really respond but, I suppose there was too much happening all at once for him." Kristin looked up at Nathan as tears flowed from his eyes. She wasn't sure how to continue. "The doctor explained that for some reason Lucas was hand cuffed with zipties in the lift raft. He had pulled one hand free and gotten to some water in one of the rescue packs but couldn't reach most of it. But in pulling his hand free, he had cut one of his wrist very badly and the other down to the bone. He still has the scars. Nathan I can understand wanting to force him off to keep him safe but that daft idea almost killed him not to mention how much it disturbed him emotionally. He wasn't the same for years. He didn't even speak to anyone for months and that was only after… "Kristin paused. She looked at Nathan her anger beginning to rise again. She decided abruptly to not broach the subject of Lucas' suicide attempt. There would be time for that later if ever.
"After what?" Nathan prodded sensing something was wrong.
"Never mind, He acted like he didn't even know who we were at first. That was probably the worst part of those first few weeks. He was there but gone at the same time; just tell me why it was done? Why do that to him? Why not at least send someone with him. You abandoned him Nathan, you left him alone. For weeks after he started speaking to us again he wouldn't even sleep alone either Ben or I had to sit with him. Ben took a 12 month leave from work and stayed with us to help him." Kristin struggled to keep her emotions in check remembering everything that had happened. She wanted answers and part of her knew the man that stood before her couldn't give them to her.
"Kristin, you have to believe me, I may not remember what happened but, I know I didn't do anything to hurt Lucas. I would have never handcuffed him to anything why would he say I did?"
"Actually, Lucas doesn't remember what happened to him before he woke up in the life raft and even that is sporadic at best. He's never come out and said what happened to him. I don't think he knows or cares to know. For him, it wasn't so much the physical injury and it was just being left alone to go through something like that." She sighed realizing it was now or never, there was no point keeping any other secrets about this. She looked up at the man's pained faced wondering if he could actually handle anymore. "Nathan there is something else you should know, it gets got a little worse than just that."
"I highly doubt it can get any worse Kristin, not only was he hurt and abandoned but he feels like it was my intention to do it apparently. How could it possibly get any worse?"
Kristin looked down at her desk wondering if she should continue. The medical file on her desk caught her attention. She slowly reached for it looking for a small stack of papers and photographs stapled together. She handed the packet clearly marked classified across it to Nathan refusing to make eye contact. She watched as Nathan's face went from an expression of realization to denial.
"Suicide? Lucas? Our Lucas?" Nathan said barely above a whisper.
"He wasn't the same anymore Nathan. He didn't even seem to know us. Strange as it sounds, his mental state actually improved afterwards. It sort of snapped him out of what ever had a hold on him. He's only improved since then."
"Well, I suppose I can understand why Krieg looked at me like he would just as soon kill me and he would say hello."
"Yes well Ben and Bobby for that matter are very protective of Lucas. He looks up to them. I think they're the main reason he enlisted. I can't say that I approved at first but it gave him a sense of belonging and security so I adjusted."
"Yes, Hudson mentioned something about Lucas being a fine solider and a fighter pilot?" Nathan looked at her questioningly as Kristin rolled her eyes.
"You know that may very well have been just to give me a few grey hairs," Kristin looked annoyed," He's damn near gotten himself killed a few times doing that. Ben tells me he's quite good but, I still can't see him ever being safe doing that. Right now he's still on a medical leave from being shot down a few months ago."
Nathan watched as tears welled up in her eyes. Kristen quickly regained her composure only the crack in her voice gave an inclination of her feelings. "That last time was the worst. Ben called; they thought he had been killed. The whole thing is still under investigation. A lieutenant was killed and an entire peace treaty was called off over what happened. He's been offered a desk job at the base here. Designing fighter subs, they already base a line of them on the stinger. I was hoping he would consider it but, it doesn't look like he is."
Nathan sighed, there was so much he had missed and judging by what Kristin had just told him there was a good chance that Lucas wouldn't even want to see him if he tired. The idea of what happened to Lucas angered him. He knew there was no way he could have caused such a thing to happen to the boy. He just had to figure out a way to prove how.
"I promise you, Kristin. I didn't hurt him. I don't care if I remember or not. I don't need to. I know I couldn't have hurt him, I'll find a way to prove it." Nathan's voice sounded so determined as he spoke. Kristin wanted desperately to believe him but, she wasn't sure she could handle the heart break again. Accepting it the first time was hard enough a second time would be devastating.
"Well, I .. I better get home. It's getting late. I'll have some test results for you all in the morning, " Kristin said as she stood up from her desk trying to avoid making eye contact with Bridger but as she walked past him she felt him grab her for arm stopping her.
"Please Kris, you have to believe me, I need you." Nathan's eyes pleaded to her for some favorable response.
Kristin sighed looking away from her former lover. She walked over to her desk and opened the drawer pulling out a large black album. She grabbed the file on top of her desk and placed it on top of the album and added a smaller album from her shelf, "Here," she spoke pushing the small collection towards Nathan, "You need to understand what we've been through, the good and the bad. There's a lot more we need to discuss but for now, this is enough."
"I understand," Nathan looked down as he picked up the pile from the desk, " Kris, do you think he'll be happy to see me? Lucas I mean."
"I couldn't say. Lucas didn't come away from everything as bitter as Ben or even as I did. He maybe welcoming or he could treat you the way he treated your son the first time Bobby tried to speak to him."
"Well, they're friends now from what I can see, so I don't imagine it was too bad was it?"
"Oh no, not bad at all," Kristin said a little too coyly, "Bobby just ended up with a broken nose. Aside from that, the conversation went fine."
Nathan looked shocked, he had never known Lucas to be a violent person and certainly would of never thought he would strike someone.
"Don't look so shocked Nathan, It's a long story for another day," Kristin admonished lightly, "Come on, I'll walk you back to your room."
