Oh sweet Kami this chapter is long! X_x I had a lot that I wanted to put in here and it got a bit out of hand. Sorry about that, hope you all don't mind.

Speaking of which, thank you so much for the follows and the favorites, they truly give us writers insparations.

To answer/respond to some reviews regarding Deidara going into the village: Yep! I used plot armor no jutsu! I promise I will try to keep these to a minimum, but honestly it is nearly impossible to write ANYTHING, book or fanfiction without giving the main character some kind of invincibility. So I'll just be poking fun at it from now on! :P

'Blah' - Thinking

"Blah" - Talking

Update 10/4/2017: Replaced the word "ninja" with shinobi

Update 4/12/2018: OCD saw some grammer issues so I fixed a couple of them. Nothing else of note on that matter.

Warnings like usual: I have a dirty mouth, I insult old people, I'm motherly to the point of violence. People will have OOC moments and… OH! There are some emotional moments here! I don't always write for shits and giggles.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, if I did Gaara's teddy bear would make Easter Egg appearances.


"RACE YA TO THE PARK DATTEBAYO!" Naruto all but screams out, racing in a random direction. Without hesitation my mind goes into a motherly frenzy.

'What if he falls? What if he runs into something?!' Cupping my hands over my mouth, "NARUTO-KUN WAI-" A small breeze blew past me. Followed by two quick pricks to my arms and some kind of tag smacking my back.

Oh goodie, the ANBU showed up.

One with a dragon mask spoke, it's a woman's voice, "Deidara of Iwagakure, the Hokage wishes to speak with you. Your cooperation is mandatory." What a nice way of saying that if I make a scene, I'm dead.

My arms begin to tingle and feel heavy, dropping them my brain begins to race 'Poison?! Seriously?! POISON?!' All I could do was give my best WTF face before sighing, even my chakra was sealed. No point in running. "Fine, un."

I quickly look in the direction of where Naruto was, hoping to tell him that I will catch up with him later. Only, the hyper child was nowhere to be seen.

Naruto's not going to be happy seeing that I'm gone. Hopefully I live long enough to blame the old man on this.


Skip!


By the time we reached the Hokage tower my arms were completely numb, I'm pretty sure any minute now my palm mouths will start drooling due to a lack of muscle control. The precautions they took on me are borderline ridiculous yet, understandable.

Entering a room that was not the Hokage's office, but rather seemed to be a lounge area with two large plush sofas and a table with a book on it. On the back wall was the photos of the previous Hokages, including Minato. The people in the room however, are what caught my attention.

Hiruzen, those two old farts that call themselves village elders, Ibiki, several ANBU and lastly the biggest asshole in the world…

Danzo.

Ooooohohohohoho, this is going to be fffffffffffun! Too bad I can't use explosives...

At first, no one spoke, then before gramps could open his mouth, Mr. Sharingan-Stealer speaks up.

"How did you get here?"

Pausing, my brain searched for a Deidara-like response. But then it dawned on me, they don't know me. And what people that don't know me learn very fast is that I am a literal person. Throwing caution out the window, I decide to see how long this game will last.

"Through the door, un." Good, I'm seeing anime sweatdrops.

However the geezer isn't amused. "I meant, how did you get into Konoha?"

"I walked in."

"How?" Someone sounds mad…

"Through the gate, un."

"Why would Konoha jonin allow an Iwagakure shinobi inside our village?"

If I could move my arms I would have shrugged, "Your security sucks. All I had to do was hang around some genin and I got a free pass inside." I hate plot armor and love it at the same time. It makes my life both easy and a living hell considering it's a fickle thing.

"You're a missing nin."

"And you're old."

"..."

"Sorry, I thought we were stating the obvious here, un."

"..."

Hiruzen, though holding in a chuckle at his old friend's struggles, takes over the conversation with a cough, "I believe what Danzo is trying to ask is, what is your purpose coming to Konoha? We are aware that you are a bomber for hire, yet you tend to stay clear of larger countries." Well since it's YOU asking gramps, I'll answer properly.

Only… I didn't know what to say. If it was just the Hokage I could possibly plead my case about being reborn. But not with Danzo in the room. The moment he learns I hold information I'll find myself in ROOT faster than I can even say "ROOT". Then again… I did have a story I could use.

"I was confronted by an organization called the Akatsuki..." I paused, waiting for a reaction. There was none. "They wanted me to join, but I refused and fled, un. I thought Konoha would be a good option to hide in. Though judging by the welcome I thought wrong, un." I give a sharp glare to the dragon ANBU in the room. I can almost see her smirking, asshole.

I guess Ibiki was there to be a walking lie detector, cause once I said my piece everyone looked at him. All they got was a nod and he was then promptly forgotten.

The elder lady spoke up "And why, pray tell, should it matter to us what the Akatsuki want? They're just mercenaries."

Wow, was this lady serious? "Because I met one of YOUR shinobi. Black hair, around my age, lines on his face." I deadpanned, though amused when the tension began to form. Good, they now understand the situation.

"Why didn't you join them?" Again it was the woman, I need to learn her name.

"I don't see how that's important. I chose not to, that's all that matters, un." I wish I could fold my arms right now.

Hiruzen quickly understood that if he wanted me to talk, it would have to be one-on-one. Taking a breath from his pipe he sighs, but was once again interrupted by the mummy-man. Rude much?

Leaning forward on his cane, his closed eye bore into mine. "We were told you talked with Uzumaki Naruto, what were you talking about to him?"

Now, that caught me off guard, sure I knew Danzo was a blabber-mouth, but I'm a missing nin for Kami sake! At least refer to him as a "Konoha child" or "small boy", as creepy as that sounds it at least keeps his importance to a minimum!

"We talked about ramen, he wants me to train him, called me 'nii-san' and you all owe him an apology because I was forced to ditch him, un. Why? What's so special about him?" I was met with silence.

So, I continued "Honestly, he has trusting issues, all I had to do was give him some attention and he latched onto me like an abandoned baby monkey. Didn't anyone teach him the importance of 'stranger danger', un? He doesn't even know my name yet. Not that he gave me a chance to do that, once he saw my headband he went bonkers, un." I tilt my head in fake confusion, was he so loved deprived that he would cling to a random person? Yes, yes he was, but I want them to admit it. I want them to acknowledge their mistakes, if only it was that easy.

Hiruzen cleared his throat uncomfortably, probably understanding my subtle hints "Naruto… is an orphan. But I have to agree with Danzo here, as long as you are in this village we cannot let you be near him… or any of the other academy students." He quickly added, trying to cover up his slip.

I understand that I am physically a male, but that doesn't stop maternal instincts. If I had gone to Suna I would have already kidnapped Gaara to raise him better than his father "tried" to do. And these guys want me to stay away from Naruto, who had even LESS than Gaara? If that was the case then someone should have taken him in, Kurama or not damnit!

You know what…

Fuck self-preservation.

Pulling a face that I would guess to be realization, I open my mouth "Oh, I see now. He's this village's Jinchuriki huh?"

The chaos was almost instant.

A leg quickly kicks under my feet, and as I fell, a fist connected with my gut, making me cough, but even that was interrupted by a knee colliding with my jaw. Once I landed with a harsh thud, I only had enough time to dizzily look up as several kunai were held close to my vital spots. ANBU sure move fast.

Even the Hokage was on his feet. Let me guess, he's going to ask how I knew?

"How do you know?"

Because Shonen Jump anime characters are predictable. That's why.

"Because I was the Tsuchikage's student, I was taught to know these things, un. Iwa isn't the best place for children, so I can see abuse when it's there. He flinched when I looked at him and even when smiling he had a cautious look in his eyes. Meaning his reactions and sudden attachment either means he's bullied, neglected or abused, un." I stated with disgust, how could they treat an innocent kid in such a way? "None of you helped in this either. An orphan boy is special enough that he must be mentioned to me by name, and told I must stay away from him? I heard that slip up, I'm young but not stupid, un."

Seeming to accept my answer Hiruzen sat down, but doesn't remove the ANBU, at least not yet. I barely see him motion to the book on the table, which Ibiki wordlessly opens and places in front of my face to read with a smirk.

It's a bingo book. With Deidara's page staring back at me.

I can only understand some kanji and the hiragana, but I made out things like "stolen" and "destroy", but what got me was the kanji for person and the number by it.

Deidara killed a lot of people for an eleven year-old.

Suddenly, I no longer found this situation amusing, I no longer found my apathy for that Taki shinobi normal. I knew I was in the body of a murder… but these numbers…

I'm going to be punished for these crimes if I don't think fast… this was to force me to acknowledge them. Bile began to burn my throat as I was forced to swallow it back down to hold whatever pride I may have left in this situation.

This is why it's rarely a good thing to be stuck in the body of a villain, all their actions become yours and you face their consequences. Whether you want to become good or not is all a matter of who you end up meeting. At the moment, I no longer wanted to be in the world of my childhood dreams...

'I wish I was home.'

Hiruzen's POV

Something was off about Deidara, based on the bingo book, he shouldn't care about Naruto. In fact, the bomber should be yelling at us, threatening to blow us up with his "art". But instead here is a pre-teen with too much information on his hands to be let free.

A pre-teen that looks to be on the verge of tears?

I furrow my brows and look at my friends in confusion. Was he showing... regret? Or was this a facade? I had to test him.

"Your crimes could very well sentence you to death. What do you have to say for them?" For a while, the blond didn't speak, or move minus the subtle trembling and the twitching of his fingers, indicating the poison wearing off due to a low dosage. Finally, he spoke.

"... Is there a way to atone for my actions…?"

I sat there stumped, usually when a missing nin is captured, they hold their heads high and laugh or beg for mercy. Never have I seen someone ask for redemption.

Then again, it wasn't wrong to request such a thing. Many of Konoha's own shinobi have done worse actions and faced little to no law based consequences. Granted, most of them were due to missions. Though I thought back my students, and how I let Orochimaru, who experiments on his own comrades get away.

Danzo was quick to stomp down on the blond's hope. "You flatten villages for revolutionists, murder people for enjoyment, and expect forgiveness? How undignified and selfish." He did have a point, Deidara has killed many people.

Then again, so did Uchiha Itachi, because we gave him no other choice.

Deidara is no Itachi, he stole a forbidden jutsu to become stronger, and his teacher branded him a traitor. Deidara had a choice and he picked it. But I'm not sure what I would have done if one of my students did something like that…

Oh, I do know. I let one them away with it, and to this day I regret my actions. But this child, if I am to believe what I'm hearing, wants to start over. Orochimaru just kept following his bloody path.

'I'm becoming too soft for my own good.' Aware of the lecture to follow after this meeting I take a long drag from my pipe then exhale "Now Danzo, as much as I want to agree with you, I believe in chances when it is wanted." All eyes snap to my attention. Even Deidara was hanging on every word I said.

Only time will tell if I'll regret my actions or not.

Deidara's POV

Blinking through my tears that were forming I wasn't sure if I should feel blessed or afraid.

A second chance? Why would I get a second chance? I mean, I'm grateful but this is Deidara we are talking about. I'm not even a Konoha shinobi…

Then again, Orochimaru has done worst, and he got off scot free. And Danzo… speaking of Danzo, the Hokage wanna-be is adamant on making sure I'm killed.

"Hiruzen you soft fool, don't let this be a repeat of Orochimaru!" Ouch, comparing me to that snake is low, at least I don't dream about younger boy's bodies and I actually want to become a good guy.

Suddenly the heavy pressure of chakra filled the room, it was becoming a struggle to breath. If I wasn't already on the ground I would have collapsed from the sudden change. Trying to find the source I quickly realize it was Hiruzen.

"We are at a time of peace Danzo! I will not have a child's blood be spilt without giving them a fair chance!" Hiruzen looked livid, and Danzo quickly stopped arguing. I must have "meep"ed because everyone's attention focused back onto me.

Quickly, the fierce glare soften, gramps cleared his throat again "You will have your chakra sealed to genin level, you will be allowed to participate in D-rank missions. You will be under 24/7 surveillance from our elite shinobi and ANBU. If you try to bring harm to the village they will detain you and more than likely kill you. At night you will be locked under guard in a cell until you are deemed trustworthy." Well at least I won't cause public outrage from neighbors.

"Under no circumstance will you be allowed near the academy, intelligence building, clan compounds, or the forty-fourth training ground without permission from someone of jonin rank or higher or by the clan HEADS themselves, not their heirs and heiresses. I will give you a series of missions every few weeks to prove yourself and," he pauses, thinking of anything else. "You and I will have a one-on-one conversation after one month. I will allow you to speak to villagers, including Naruto and I will allow you to train at a genin level under supervision."

He must have seen the relief wash over my face because now he's chuckling in my direction. I can spend time with the kit, and while I'm basically on pins and needles I have more freedom than I thought. At least I won't end up dead.

"Of course, I will be speaking to the Tsuchikage about these terms. If he has more demands I will have no choice but to follow them." I felt myself nod, I had no reason to complain. At least Hiruzen understands that I'm willing to redeem Deidara, not to mention save my own neck for his actions.

I found the Tsuchikage part odd, why would Hiruzen need to speak to him? Then it clicked, what if the old man found out that I was here? It could cause political problems if the Hokage didn't at the very least inform Deidara's former teacher. As long as he doesn't demand that I return to Iwagakure I'm fine with it all. I'd sooner join the Akatsuki then go there and potentially die.

"I accept Hokage-sama. I am at your mercy." The ANBU remove themselves from my person and I'm yanked to my feet. My arms are still useless but at least I can move. Quickly someone used fuuinjutsu on me, and while I can feel my chakra, there is a lot less than my normal reserves. One by one everyone leaves and I begin to fidget. 'Who is suppose to watch over-'

"You summoned me, Hokage-sama?"

That voice, hallelujah do I know that lovely voice anywhere. Turning my head I lock eyes… well eye, with every Naruto fan's favorite masked shinobi. And no it's not Tobi.

Hatake Motherfucking Kakashi!

'Someone pinch me I have to be dreaming!' Oh how I wish my best friend was with me, she would have flipped her lid. (AN: Fact. Kakashi is her #2 right behind Itachi!) Oh, hi voice- annnnddd it's gone again.

I had to suppress my excitement at the sight of this powerful shinobi. The man was suppose to watch over me and possibly attack if I make one wrong move, and with the sharingan there is no way in hell could I beat him.

A voice behind me spoke up, it was gramps, "Hello Kakashi, seeing how you failed your genin team AGAIN-" I snort at that, "I've decided to give you a month-long mission." He motions to me, "This is Deidara, a missing nin who is to be under constant surveillance, I'm sure you know of him. You will be in charge of him during the day. At night the ANBU will take over."

Kakashi begins to loom over me and I can feel myself doing that anime shrinking technique, that or my knees are giving out. I'd much prefer to picture myself turning into a chibi. 'Need to break the ice… say something cool! Something powerful!'

"C-could you t-take me to Naruto, un? H-he should b-be at a p-park." I squeaked out like a tiny mouse. So much for first impressions, I don't do well with tall people okay?!

Kakashi smiled his famous eye-crinkle smile, obviously enjoying this moment, "Sure kid, just… don't do anything you might regret. Wouldn't want you dead on the first day." With that he turned and began to leave.

With a sigh I bow to the Hokage and give Danzo a rude hand gesture, earning a laugh from the former.

Gramps, I won't let you down. I'll make sure Naruto gets stronger and has someone to look after him. And Danzo…

You better pray I don't learn C4, and even more so if I learn to control it better than Deidara ever did...

Because once I'm finished with you, all that will be left is Shisui's eye.


Skipping through time!


We reached a park about ten minutes later. I had to give Kakashi my wallet to buy fingerless gloves, the sudden change in gravity from standing made my palm mouths ooze out saliva so I needed to keep them shut. Gross. My arms were sluggish but I can at least move them now.

"My mom says not to play with you! She says you're a monster!" Well, I found Naruto, and he's being rejected by a bunch of kids. Watching the scene play out I see Naruto's head bow and his face morphing into disappointment. All he wanted was for people to acknowledge him, kids can be unbelievably cruel to one another.

Another boy pipes up, "You should drop out of the academy! I heard adults saying you'll fail anyway."

I saw red.

Kakashi quickly stepped to the side, not sensing killing intent he allows me to storm over with a "Go ahead, I won't be far behind." More than likely he knew my goal was to scare the piss out of them.

Grabbing the two brats by the front of their shirts I yank them up to my level, trying to suppress the tremble due to their weight. "Wanna repeat yourselfs you little shits?" Their friends begin shouting words, I guess it's their names. Who gives a fuck though?

The one that called Naruto a monster sputters "Y-y-you can't hurt m-me, my b-b-brother is a shinobi! He'll b-beat you u-up." oh? The big brother card?

I playfully tilt my head with Deidara's trademark grin, "Oh? I'm a jonin who blows up my enemies." The kid pales, "Tell your 'b-b-brother' to come at me, in fact tell him to bring all his little friends. I'll kick their asses then yours." Dropping him, I look at all his friends, now they look scared.

"Think Naruto's a monster? Remember this, my name is Deidara, and if he's a monster, than I'm a demon." Dropping the other shithead I slowly remove my gloves and raise my arms to show my palm mouths grinning at them, one having its tongue sticking out. They scream and run off calling for their moms. Serves them right.

Turning on my heel I'm greeted with big blue eyes GLARING at me, if looks could kill or if he had the sharingan I would be dead.

I gulp, "Naruto-kun..?"

"You ditched me, dattebayo…" Naruto's face became overwhelmed with tears and his lower lip trembled. Nonononono please don't cry!

"... I-"

"YOU LEFT!" I reeled my head back as Naruto began to scream into my face, "YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO TALK! AND I LISTENED, DATTEBAYO! BUT WHEN I TURNED BACK YOU WEREN'T THERE! AND I… I thought… I thought…"

Okay, anger completely justified, but I still had to ask, "Naruto-kun, why are you so attached to me?" Guilt was filling inside me, I don't understand what I did to have him like me. I've never been a people person.

He lowers his head and sniffs, tears leak down his cheeks "Y-you… believed in my dream to-o be Hokage, and not counti-i-ing g-gramps y-y-ou don't treat me like a demon-n-n, dattebayo…" He takes a deep breath "A-and you l-look like you c-coul-l-ld be my broth-ther… b-because we l-look rela-a-ated..."

I broke, pulling Naruto into a tight hug, my own eyes beginning to feeling moist. He's thinner than I expected… Why are main characters always so mistreated-... no. This wasn't the main character of an anime, this wasn't the village hero; this was a lonely child whose whole life was full of hardship up until he becomes a shinobi. And I made him cry.

Now I feel like the asshole.

"I'm sorry Naruto-kun… I had to talk to some people… I've… done things I'm not proud of. Never believe people when they call you a monster because… if anyone is a monster it's me... I've killed people kid." I feel Naruto tense in my arms, but I continue "But the Hokage is giving me a second chance, and so I'll do whatever it takes to make up for the things I've done…"

I try to look at him, but my bangs block his face, "So, if a brother is what you want… I'll be that. I'll train you, watch and protect you, I'll give you so much love you'll be sick of me. I'm not perfect, but if you can forgive me for my faults… I think I can do my best for you." Suddenly small arms snake around my neck and the small body in my arms begins to shake.

Expecting more tears, I was surprised to find Naruto looking into my face with a cheeky grin. "Okay! But you gotta promise to train me, dattebayo!"

My own lips begin to tug into a small smile, he's too forgiving for his own good. Pulling away I hold my hand out to shake his. "Then let us start over, I believe you do not even know my name yet, un. My name is Deidara but call me whatever you wish."

Without missing a beat his small hand clasps mine and shakes it vigorously. "Uzumaki Naruto! And I'll call you Deidara-nii!" Next thing I knew I'm back in a crushing hug. With that one hug I knew things have changed.

The Deidara that kidnapped Gaara will never exist, the suicide bombing will never happen, the person that hated the sharingan with a passion is nothing more than a part of my memory. In its place is a Deidara who cares, who will try, who will protect. In place of the old Deidara is someone who will give Naruto the love and care he needs.

I'm going to change things, even if at the costs of going into the future blind.

As stated by Itachi himself: "That's what big brothers are for."


Pretty emotional stuff, I'm still learning how to write so hopefully I get better as the story goes along.

So now Deidara has come to accept his fate and is fully prepared to face any consequences coming down the line. Honestly that is a natural cause when waking up in another body, there is no way to reset their actions, you just gotta suck it up and hope to fix things.

As soft as Hiruzen is, of course he would keep Deidara locked up. Dei has done NOTHING yet to prove he is trustworthy, so he plans to keep the bomber on a tight leash. That is until a certain knucklehead catches wind. ;P

As I say, reviews are loved and I shall see you all in the next chapter; where we shall see some events from another's perspective.

Bye guys!