Hey everyone, I didn't know how I was going to skip to Deidara's first mission/the one-on-one talk. So I instead had an entire month pass via a sequence of short events from Kakashi's perspective. It's mostly in a diary/report format.

Thank you guys for the follows, faves, and reviews!

allykat5: oh yeah, they definitely like bloodlines.

EgyLynx: Added a little segment for the Akatsuki at the end ;)

Warnings: Potty mouths everywhere, Daiki is annoying, and violence.

"Blah" - talking

'Blah' - thinking

Blah - a change in time

"Blah"- English

Special announcement at the bottom!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, if I did there would be less flashbacks of the same scenes.


Kakashi's POV

The first impression I got from meeting Deidara was that he was hiding something. Not only was he able to convince the Hokage to give him a second chance, but he almost seemed in his element the entire time. Then again, he was just pinned down by ANBU, even so he seems to be handling things well.

"C-could you t-take me to Naruto, un? H-he should b-be at a p-park." Ah, right, I spaced out. At first glance Deidara looked terrified, rightfully so. He even had a high squeaky voice. But that wasn't the case.

His eyes screamed excitment, like a kid getting an early birthday present excited. He didn't squeak because he was intimidated, he squeaked because he was trying to look cool but failed.

But looking into his eyes… eye, made me uncomfortable, it was too much like those that are long gone. People like Rin, or… or Obito, who could take one look at me and read me like an open book. I could hear a soundless speech being shouted from that eye as he patiently waits for me to answer him.

Deciding to give him a smile even though he can't see it, I finally spoke "Sure kid, just… don't do anything you might regret. Wouldn't want you dead on the first day." Again, he doesn't seem afraid, it was like he was expecting me to say something like that.

I'll have to keep a close eye on him.


Prepare to skip!


The kid's mouths drooled… no, not on his face, he has mouths on his HANDS! For some reason that was the least of my concerns when babysitting a missing nin. Bombing? Yes. Complete and utter chaos? Yes. Temper tantrums? Definitely.

But drooling palm mouths?

The bomber had me take his wallet and buy him gloves, something about "Not wanting to make a mess on the wooden floor, un." He wordlessly put on the clothing, effectively gagging the hands so they didn't ooze out saliva. And he stole the jutsu that gave him those…. Why? It's not worth the effort to ask.

Reaching the park, Minato-sensei's son, Naruto was being bullied by other kids… my mind slowly drifted to the faces of my former teammates as the past tried to flow back into my head looking at the kid. But that was quickly put to a halt when I saw Deidara's face.

He looked livid.

For some reason the aura this kid gave off was the same one Kushina would give Obito if she caught him skipping on meals to train. So, I calmly stepped to the side seeing as these civilian kids were in no danger besides some trauma.

"I won't be far behind." That's all Deidara needed to storm over there to deal with the bullies.

I calmly pulled out my book to enjoy a light reading. Opening my current page I let the words block out the tormented thoughts that haunt me... Heheheh~

A few moments later.

'Oh Mai-san, how lovely it is to see yo-'

"YOU LEFT!" I snapped my head from my book to witness Naruto screaming into Deidara's face. The older blond makes no move to argue or yell back, but exchanges some words with Naruto.

I almost went to step in when Deidara pulls Naruto into an embrace that was almost too familiar for people who just met. It was almost as if the missing nin has always known Minato's child even though they just met today. Those close to Naruto like the Hokage or even Teuchi, keep physical contact like hugs to a minimum and express their love through different ways. Yet here is a stranger hugging him.

I retreat into a tree so Naruto doesn't notice me and ruin the moment. I don't trust this Deidara kid, but if he can take care of Naruto like he's promising, then my opinions could change.

Or he would end up dead. Either way I'm just glad I don't have to fail anymore genin for a while.

Day 1

Collecting my charge for the first time was not a hassle at all. In fact, he was already showered and dressed for the day by the time I got there.

Opening the cell, Deidara calmly strolls out like he owns the place, a cocky grin on his face.

"Didn't have any black cats cross your path, un?"

I pause mid-step and glared a hole into his back, how did he know what excuses I use when I'm late?

I was almost disappointed that whatever D-rank mission was thrown at him, he handled them without any complaints. The bomber even made an earth clone so the missions would be done twice as fast.

Day 3

Deidara is terrible at aiming.

It's been two hours and he has yet to hit the wooden post in front of him once with a kunai or shuriken.

I had to laugh, he's suppose to be a jonin yet he can't even hit a fixed target from ten feet away?

Of course the brat heard me.

"Haha very funny, un! I don't use ninja tools often and you guys won't let me use my clay!" Excuses excuses, he sounds like a genin already. Maybe the lack of chakra got to his brain? Okay fine I'll help him.

"Try getting closer to the target."

He's a very literal person, he threw the kunai barely a foot away from the post. I watched as it got closer… and closer…

Then suddenly it changed direction and landed about 15 feet AWAY from its intended target.

"..."

"..."

"Not. A. Word. un."

I fell backwards in laughter as the blond stared up at the sky with the most deadpanned expression I have ever seen.

Day 7

After speaking with the Hokage I decided to let Deidara make explosives with some clay. But the kid and I made a deal: three C1s a day and they are to be kept in a pouch with a lightning seal on them. That way no matter what he tried the bombs would be duds as long as they stayed in the pouch.

I'll need to update his bingo book on this weakness. But I have to admit, the little animals he make are pretty cute.

"Why would you tell me the one true weakness of your jutsu?"

Deidara paused his sculpting and tilted his head in contemplation. Nodding with a satisfied mental answer he looks up at me with a dangerous glint in his eye.

"Because by the time I fight someone with lightning chakra, I will have countered this weakness."

I involuntarily shivered and then momentarily hoped that this supposed time is much later rather than sooner.

Day 10

Today seemed like a normal day. Birds singing, people talking, Deidara failing at throwing kunai at a post literally ten feet away. Yep things seemed pretty norma-

"DEIDARA-SAAAAAANNNNNN!"

Nevermind.

Watching Deidara go from 1 to 1000 on the scared cat scale, I turn my head to the newcomer. A genin if my assumption was correct, fresh out of the academy, civilian with straight brown hair in a high ponytail and sparkling green eyes that scream "newbie". Minus the fact he's oozing with hyperness I wonder why Deidara would be so tense.

"Deidara-san! Deidara-san! It's me Daiki! You remember dontcha? I read up all about you because of our sensei is it true you are a jonin?! And that you have been a ninja since you were a kid?! Why didn't you tell me you were so COOL?!"

Ah, that's why. He talks a lot. Nice job kid, all in one breath.

Deidara seems to be overloaded with all of the sudden chatter, but tries to reply anyway. "Well I uh-" Keyword "tries".

"And you're older than me by a few months too! Can I call you Senpai?!" Daiki interrupted and man I have never seen an expression change so fast. Deidara went from overwhelmed to have a face of pure terror, I tilt my head confused.

Slowly, Deidara swallows, "I'd rather you did-"

"AWESOME! You're such a cool person Senpai! Hey hey teach me some of your jutsu! I want to be a cool ninja like you!" Well, seems as though Deidara's made a friend, good for him he needs to be with kids his own age.

Or not.

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME TOBI, UN!" Without warning Deidara dropped a smoke bomb 'When did I let him buy those…?' Before bolting away.

However this didn't seem to stop the genin from chasing my charge "Oooooooh is this a training exercise?! WAIT MY NAME'S DAIKI NOT 'TOBI'! SENPAI WAIT UP! SENPAAAAIIIII!" And they're gone.

Though it begs a few questions, who is Tobi and why did the title "senpai" cause such a violent reaction? Imagine if Deidara had access to not only his normal chakra reserves but also his clay… I'm fairly certain this Daiki kid would have been dead.

I'll need to report this later.

Yep, a normal day.

Day 11

Deidara only left his UNLOCKED cell to pick Naruto up from the academy and to make sure he got home safely. The moment Naruto was in his apartment, Deidara ran like the ANBU were on him, back into his cell, slammed the door shut and hid under his bed.

Pulling out my Icha Icha book I let out a sigh, "Why are you hiding again?"

Deidara poked his head out from under the bed, "It's the only place Daiki is not allowed to enter and I'm keeping it that way, un." He states rather dryly before returning to his hiding spot.

Note to self: Call for this Daiki kid if I ever need to punish Deidara.

Day 15

I am never taking a day off for the rest of the month.

"WHADDAYA MEAN DEIDARA-NII IS IN A CELL JI-CHAN, DATTEBAYO?!"

Guess who said that.

Yesterday the Hokage gave me the day off, which I spent most of the day at the memorial stone. But he forgot to mention that my replacement was chosen by Danzo-sama.

A jonin whose father was killed during the 3rd shinobi war by Iwagakure shinobi.

Unable to contain his hatred for Deidara's very existence, told Deidara that it was time to return to his cell earlier than agreed on.

Right in front of Naruto.

So here we are with Naruto outraged at this, even as Deidara tries to sooth the boy by telling him he doesn't mind.

"Naruto-kun, it's okay. I agreed to these terms and-" Naruto was not having any of that.

"I DON'T CARE DATTEBAYO! It's not fuc- OW DEIDARA-NII!" Deidara interrupted Naruto mid-curse with a hit on the head which formed a comically large bump.

Deidara huffed, putting his hands on his hips, "Naruto-kun, I will allow 'damn', 'hell' and 'teme' but if I hear anything else there will be consequences." He chastised motherly. Are we sure Deidara's a male?

Naruto began to pout, but quickly pulled a mischievous face "Sooooo what words am I not allowed to say again- OW!" That earned him another bump from the older blond to add to his growing collection.

Deidara quickly bowed to the Hokage. "Forgive his rashness Hokage-sama, I will have a talk with him after I take him home, un." With that Deidara grabbed Naruto by the ear and dragged him away. But before he left the Hokage stops him.

"The Tsuchikage responded to my message," Deidara looks over at the Hokage with an interested look, "he has demanded you return your headband, write one letter a month for someone named Kurotsuchi and visit every other month. Oh, and to not reveal S-class information." That last part almost sounded as if the Tsuchikage added that last minute.

All Deidara did was throw the Hokage his headband, letting his hair drop even more into his face, nod and leave with the squirming kid.

I sigh, yep, no more vacations for me until this mission is over.

Day 17

I stay hidden on a roof as I watch Deidara wait for Naruto by the academy gate. Eventually, I see the familiar spiky hair bolt over and hug the older blond. Focusing chakra into my ears I listen in.

"Neh, Neh! Deidara-nii, we had a test today, dattebayo!" Naruto was practically vibrating as he told Deidara about his day.

However, Deidara didn't seemed amused at the idea of a test. "Score." A single word and an outstretched hand were enough for my brain to register that this will not end well.

Naruto seemed to get the same vibe, as he timidly pulled the paper from his backpack, 'A gift from Deidara no doubt, he either saves his money or spends it on the kid…' and hands the test to him.

It was a 23...

Without a word Deidara crushes the paper in his hands like someone would a bug, and proceeds to drag Naruto off to his apartment. All the while Naruto tried to escape from his impending doom.

"Deidara-nii it's not that bad! It's higher than usual!" THAT made Deidara walk even faster. I watch him throw open the door after taking Naruto's keys and forced the kid to sit at the kitchen table. 'What is he planning..?'

Deidara pulls out a sealing scroll 'When did I let him buy that?' and slams his hands on it, in a puff of smoke, flash cards and books spewed out in a pile.

"You are going to study MY way, un. Apparently the academy doesn't know how to help those falling behind." Deidara sat down next to Naruto, and began making him study.

Two hours and a mock test later

'I should let Deidara go to the academy…' was my only thought process as Naruto was actually beginning to understand some of the material he should have known from the beginning.

"Twice a day for 15 minutes I want you to study these flash cards, once a week you will stay at the academy an extra hour to make more cards from new things you learn, un." This wasn't a request, Deidara is taking Naruto's education very seriously.

However, Naruto wasn't. He just pouted, earning a sigh from the older male.

"Naruto-kun… if you score an 80 or higher, I will teach you a new jutsu, un." That made the kid perk up and nod in agreement.

"Then I expect you to work hard, un" was all he said before going into the kitchen to prepare Naruto's lunch for tomorrow.

'That still isn't a very high score…'

Day 20

Here we are once again, I'm reading my books and Deidara is failing at throwing kunai at the post.

Finally the blond snapped.

"SON OF A MONKEY'S SHIT EATING ASS FACE THIS IS FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE! FUCK YOU UNIVERSE AND ALL OF YOUR BULLSHIT!"

I paused, Deidara froze. Only one thought could pass through my head. 'What did he just say?' Even Deidara seemed surprised.

Deidara's POV

'Holy shit that was english! I spoke english! Wait… Kakashi…' Sneaking a glance at the masked shinobi I let a smirk trail across my face.

"Hey hot stuff! I know what your face looks like and I can see why the ladies love you! I know my friend does!"

I watch Kakashi give me his iconic eye crinkle smile before cheerfully saying, "Did you say something?"

I let out a burst of laughter 'Okay Kakashi, be that way.' After the laughter subsided I threw a kunai at the post.

It hit its mark.

Kakashi's POV

'Lovely, Deidara has a secret code that I can't understand' was my thought process until I saw him successfully hit the post.

"HALLE-FUCKING-LUJAH! Finally! Three fucking weeks!" Deidara was jumping for joy, suddenly he started throwing all kinds of weapons at the various posts and trees in the area. All hitting their marks as Deidara kept yelling in his code. 'Again, where does he find the time to buy all this stuff?! Where did he even keep his stuff?' I see seals on Deidara's wrists 'Ah, there… Wait, when did he make those?!'

This is going to be a long report…

Day 23

"Kakashi!" Oh no, Deidara please have something to do.

"I think your friend wants to talk to you, un"

With a sigh I look towards the voice, Might Gai, longtime friend and self-proclaimed rival of mine. "Yes Gai…?" He proceeds to shake his head in disappointment at my lack of a reaction.

"How unyouthful! I was wondering if you'd like to join me and my protege," Gai gestures towards a mini-him "To our 50 laps around the village!" He finally noticed Deidara. "Hello there youth! I'm Might Gai, Konoha's noble, blue fierce animal and this is Rock Lee!"

The kid, Lee, shoots his arm in the air in greeting "YOSH! It is a pleasure to meet you!"

"Deidara, un."

Tears comically form from Gai's eyes as he begins to rant to my charge, "SUCH AN UNYOUTHFUL RESPONSE FROM A YOUTHFUL FACE! Kakashi! You should teach your students to be more passionate!"

"Gai, he's not my student."

"I am passionate, un!" Gai's mouth snapped shut in interest.

"Then tell me your passion unyouthful one!"

Without warning, Deidara took some clay from his pouch and made a bird, "Behold! Such magnificent sculpting with perfect lines. The symmetry is unmatched by any craftsmen as I use my chakra to create such beauty that no other artists can make! In my hand is a super flat power that vanishes in a blink of the eye." Before I could stop him he throws the bird into the air " My art… IS AN EXPLOSION! KATSU!" The bomb explodes in a firework like display.

I paused, and waited. Waiting for something to happen. And then, Gai spoke.

"SUCH YOUTH!" I'm deaf. "I HAVE YET TO SEE SUCH UNIQUE ART BEFORE! YOUNG MAN YOU MUST JOIN US ON OUR YOUTHFUL RUN OF YOOOOOUUUTTTHHH!" My ears are dead.

"Sure, un!" With that Deidara ran off with the duo in a… sunset? But it's noon!

My ears are still ringing.

Day 26

It took me a few days but I found Daiki and informed him where Deidara was. Time for some payback.

"SENPAIIIIII!"

"Oh FUCK NO, UN!" Before Deidara could run away, Daiki grabbed him by the arm and proceed to bounce on the spot.

"Senpai senpai! Could you help me out cause there's this girl I really really really like and I want to ask her out but she won't notice me but if I had a senpai with me it would look cool and- mffh mhhp mmmmh!" Deidara quickly slammed a hand over Daiki's mouth.

His ungloved hand.

Quickly realizing what he was doing, Deidara yanked his hand away like it's been burnt, but Daiki saw the mouth.

"Did you just kiss me Senpai?"

Turning red Deidara flailed his hands while shaking his head "No I di-"

Daiki flew his hands to the sides of his head in dismay, "I got my first kiss from my senpaiiiii! And he's not even a girl and it wasn't even on on the mouth! I kissed my senpai's hand! Oh Seiko will never love me now!" Overdramatic much kid?

Deidara seemed to have the same thought as he sighed "If I talk to this girl will you PLEASE shut u-" Before he could finish his sentence Daiki was already dragging him away.

"Sure senpai! Thank you senpai!"

I could feel Deidara's glare boring into my soul.

Day 29

Deidara will still not talk to me.

"Come on kid, I said I was sorry." Nope, nothing, he would just keep sculpting the same bird over and over again. It's creeping me out because I think the kid forgot how to blink.

Quickly thinking I summon Pakkun, kid's like dogs right?

"Yo Kakashi, what do you need?"

I sweatdrop while pointing at Deidara, "Can you cheer him up? He refuses to talk or blink."

Pakkun looks at Deidara, "Hmm… he smells off, like there's two people in one body. But okay." He trots over to the blond while I let my mind wonder.

'Two people in one? That doesn't make sense, no one is controlling Deidara and he rarely uses any jutsu… I'm going to talk to him before this mission ends.'

"Hey kid, what's up?" Deidara slowly looked at Pakkun, instantly his eyes had that same sparkle he would have when looking at Naruto or just small things in general.

Pakkun continues, "Look kid, let me make you a deal, if you talk to Kakashi…" He raises his paws "I'll let you touch my paws. They're nice and soft." Suddenly Pakkun begins to scratch behind his ear due to an itch.

Without saying a word, Deidara reached over and scratched the spot for Pakkun, as if he's always been around animals. Pakkun wags his tail pleased and lets the blond touch his pink paws.

"There you go, un…" Oh thank Kami, he spoke and blinked.

Deidara looked over at me with a calm expression "We'll talk later, un." Then turned his attention back to Pakkun.

The final day

I took Deidara to a small tea house that I visit sometimes. Sitting down I lock eyes with the blond, "Pakkun said he smelt two people in your body. What did he mean by that?"

His expression kept changing; from confusion to contemplation then back to confusion with a side of annoyance. Even he didn't seem to understand.

Then, a wave of realization washed across his face.

"Oh, un."

'"oh"? That's all he has to say?' Apparently not as the pre-teen began laughing.

"S-sorry, un. I think I understand." Deidara straightens his back, "I'll tell you if Naruto becomes your student." With that, Deidara stood up and left. Leaving me confused about the ordeal.

A few hours later.

Giving my report to the Hokage I stand in his office as he reads up a month's worth of information. Sometimes he would chuckle at Deidara's expense with Daiki or the post.

But his face grew serious the moment he read on Deidara's codes and what Pakkun told me.

"Two people in one, Kakashi?"

I nod "Yes, Pakkun didn't give much detail, only that his smell was unusual." I watch the Hokage's face grow grave and his age beginning to show.

"You… are dismissed Kakashi, Deidara will be released from his cell and I will speak with him tomorrow." I bow and begin to leave, but not before I hear the Hokage weakly whisper…

"Please don't be another Orochimaru…"

Third person POV

Meanwhile with the Akatsuki

In Amegakure in a tall tower, eight people stood in a room, some holographed, the rest are physical bodies. All there for… more or less one reason.

A man whose body is half white, half black, with a venus fly trap attached to his body, spoke the reason, "Deidara is in Konoha. He is trying to integrate himself in the village. He's already taking care of the kyuubi jinchuuriki."

This brought the attention of their leader, Pein, a man with many piercings and the infamous rinnegan. Everyone respectfully waited for him to say something.

"He could still be persuaded to join the Akatsuki."

Kisame chuckles "Maybe we should use Itachi to get him to join." He states like it's a joke. "He could use his charm to win Deidara over, he did call Itachi cute." Though by the look his partner gave him, Itachi did not find this funny.

However Hidan, the foul mouthed Jashinist, found this to be the joke of the year and promptly slumped over his partner while dying of laughter. "Kakuzu! Can you believe it! The fucker has an admirer and it's a dude. Shit I can't breath! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Itachi throws a kunai that hits his head. "Oi oi oi shithead! No need to be a pussy about it!"

Hidan soon finds himself covered in kunai.

While Itachi may seemed like he was annoyed by Kisame's constant joke. In reality he was worried for his brother, Sasuke. If Deidara went to Konoha with the intent to do harm, he has the power to flatten the village with some training, his precious sibling could be killed.

However, if Deidara truly is there to help Konoha, and if his theory about the bomber is correct… then he may have another problem, Sasuke may not seek vengeance. Deidara had a look in his eyes that says he knows things he shouldn't.

Either way, he needs to speak to Deidara...

Alone.

And while this meeting was going on, now that the topic has swapped, a man with a single sharingan eye watched from the shadows. With the same thought as Itachi.


My beta-reader really enjoyed Itachi making a cameo in this chapter. She wants to ship Deidara with Itachi but… they're 11 and 14, I ain't pairing people off yet! Let me know what you guys think!

Notice:

Including the prologue, after the 6th or 7th chapter I will be adding side stories at the end where Deidara encounters characters for the first time at different time frames. This is where you guys can help mold the story! Either through review or pm if there is anyone you want to see meet Deidara feel free to do so. You can even throw in ideas on how they meet.

I will give credit to those who input their ideas if I decide to use them. If more than one person suggest a character, but different ideas I will be having my beta readers pick out the scenario they like best.

Remember, this will end up being canon to the fic. Unless you specifically want it to be an omake, say so and I will exclude it from my canon. I do have a few in mind but so far Sasuke, Sakura, Orochimaru, Hinata and Tobi/Obito are part of the main storyline. My lovely beta will appear in an omake much later in the story but will not be canon in the fic.

Like always, reviews are loved and I'll be posting the next chapter soon!

Bye guys!