Yep! Another chapter in one weekend. I did say before that this chapter was 99% done so now that it is finished, I decided to post it. I had more fun writing this chapter anyway.

Thank you guys for the reviews, faves and follows! They always make me smile with each notifications!

ArmCannos34: haha, puns... love 'em. :)

"Blah" - Talking

'Blah' - thinking

Blah - Passage of time

Warnings: Naughty words, mini violence, cuteness and references (Yes, I am only just NOW warning people :P)

Disclamer: I do not own Naruto, if I did I would have animated a fight between Madara and a drunk Rock Lee.


3rd person POV

Hiruzen was discussing this coming up chunin exam with a genin team, more specifically Daiki's team. When suddenly…

"Hey Hiruzen! I'm going to Kiri to handle some unfinished business, then I'll be off to Iwa, un! I'll be back in a day or so and if things go according to plan I'll be coming home with a kid! Please prepare some moving papers just incase! Naruto already knows! Bye, un!" Gee… guess who.

"Was that senpai? WAIT SENPAI WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!" Daiki rushes out to chase Deidara.

The jonin looks at the Hokage with a raised eyebrow, "He speaks to you so informally…"

Hiruzen sighed in defeat, "He's like that." With that he calmly goes and opens a window, at that very second Daiki comes flying in the room through that window with a lump on his head and x's for eyes. 'I'm getting too old for this…'

Deidara's POV

I used my chocobo to reach the land of water, it's faster and tramples bandits. The faster I can get to Kiri the better.

I don't care about the consequences, or the fact I may be running headfirst into possible death. How can I say that I'll change the plot, if I don't take an opportunity that is right in my face? I can't, that's how. So I'm steamrolling through a forest with a single goal in mind.

I need to nab Kimimaro before Orochimaru.

I don't know how old the information I got was. But if it's as fresh as I am lead to believe, then the chances of running into the bone wielder is very high.

I have to find him, for both his and Naruto's sake. Once I am given a headband from Hiruzen, I'll be on more missions and I have plans on training at an almost unhealthy level. I need to master C4 and develop my sensing skills before Naruto graduates. A bonus if I can figure out how Deidara trained his eye to see through the Sharingan. I don't want Naruto to come home to an empty apartment.

So, Kimimaro shall become another brother for Naruto. In return, Kimimaro gets a nice childhood with a loving family, that won't fucking experiment on him!

Just thinking about how he was used till the very end, I nearly missed a head of white hair. 'I mean come on! He died at 15-'

'Wait… white hair?'

I stop my chocobo with an almost car like screech and hopped off. Walking towards the head my heart melts, happiness fills my entire being at the sight before me.

Kimimaro is talking to the flower. Thank god, that's one life that won't be screwed up because of that Snake.

Speaking of snakes, I could FEEL a certain pedo-snake staring at me, most likely trying to pinpoint where he has seen my face before. 'Uh-oh, Kimimaro's getting mad at the flower. TIME TO INTERVENE!'

"You okay kiddo, un?"

Kimimaro jumps a foot in the air and twirls to face me in a defencive stance. Holding my gloved hands out to show I mean no harm, I walk over to the bone boy.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. You just looked like you needed an actual person to talk to, un." I give him a brotherly smile, the kind that I give Naruto when he's being a brat. It calms kids down for some reason. With a joking whisper, "I heard a rumor that flowers can't talk back."

Like magic, Kimimaro lowers his bone weapon and looks at me with a lost expression. 'Poor kid, he doesn't have a will to live… well, he would if Orochimaru had came out of the clearing a few seconds earlier. Too bad bitch.'

I calmly walk over and kneel besides the flower he was going to stab, "You like flowers, un?" He nods slightly, "They're rather artistic. Beautiful for a moment then they wither away to begin anew, un. A fleeting beauty, and a symbol of new beginnings." I feel so manipulative talking like this, but if it will keep Orochimaru away then so be it.

He doesn't speak, just stares at me, probably unsure of what to think of the blond boy talking to him. I hold out my hand, "My name is Deidara. I'm formerly from Iwagakure, but I now live in Konoha, un." He is now staring at my hand… oh lord, he doesn't know how to handshake huh? "It's a handshake. You take my hand like this," I gently take his hand "And shake." I move his limp arm up and down.

"...Kaguya Kimimaro…"

"Well Kimimaro-kun, where are your parents? You look like you just got out a warzone, un." I watch as he becomes downcast, my heart clenches up.

"They're all dead." Wow, way to be blunt. I must have a deer in headlights expression because he keeps talking, "My only purpose in life was to fight… now, I have nothing. Do you know what purpose is there in life?"

I can feel Orochimaru's killing intent on me, holy fuck is it powerful. It's like a snake is wrapping itself around my throat and constricting it… And it only makes me want to fuck with his plans even further.

I tilt my head, "Hmmm… a purpose? Never thought about that." Might as well use ONE thing Orochimaru would have said, "I honestly think we humans have no purpose. We steal from this earth and kill our own kind, un."

That only seemed to make him even more depressed. Time to throw my perspective.

"We have no purpose, but we all have a reason to live. Something that makes us wake up everyday to face the harsh realities, un." He looks at me in confusion. "I have younger brother who I live everyday to protect and raise. He became my purpose and my reason to live, un."

His eyes slowly shine with life. I decide to throw in my question, "How would you like to come with me to Konoha… and join our little family, un? It's small, somewhat dysfunctional, but it's full of love. Besides," I give him a wink, "I think my brother would absolutely adore you."

"..."

"If you want a purpose... Think of it as, you having people you want to grow strong with and protect." I stand and judging by his awed expression, I must have a fucking halo or something behind my head from the lighting… grrreeaaaattttt… just what I wanted to avoid.

I hold my hand out again, "What do you say, Kimimaro-kun?"

He shakes my hand without hesitation.

I couldn't hold back my gigantic grin, to Kimimaro, it looks like I'm just joyful. But in reality, I'm smiling at the man hiding behind some trees.

'Hahahahahahaha, fuck you Voldemort 2.0. I just got your most loyal subordinate and I am gonna give him all the love he deserves! SUCK IT!'

Standing up, I whistle my chocobo over and shrink it back to a figurine. Putting it in my pouch I pull out my C2 dragon. Overkill much? Why yes, yes it is. But Orochimaru's 15 feet away and I want to rub it in his face.

Kimimaro was startled by the giant dragon. At first he avoided it, but a reassuring pat on his head and a demonstration of how I have control, he got on without a fuss.

While he was climbing the dragon, I turn to face Orochimaru who is no longer hiding, and is just glaring at me.

I proceed to give him a mock bow, and rose with a "come at me bro" pose. All the while keeping Deidara's trademark smirk. I hop onto the dragon and take off. Dropping some bombs I yell out a "KATSU!", destroying the area.

Kimimaro looks at me puzzled, "Why did you do that?" He leans over the dragon to watch the smoke rise into the air. That didn't kill Orochimaru, but it gave him a reason to keep an eye on me. That's what I want, I want snakey to see me as a potential threat. Because I will be.

"Sorry, saw a snake and I have ophidiophobia, un." I lied, I love snakes. But not this snake.

"Oph...idio…"

"I have a fear of snakes, un."

"Ah."

I hand Kimimaro some onigiri from my bag that I had on me, "Here, eat. I have to go to Iwagakure before returning to Konoha, so rest up." Kimimaro takes the food without question and begins to quietly eat. Oh god, his cheeks are puffed out like a chipmunk.

'Damn it, why is everyone so cute?!'

Several hours later

Me and Kimimaro spent the next few hours bonding, I talked about Naruto and a bit of my life. Kimi… he just spent most of his life locked up. Needless to say I ended up talking the most. At some point I made him take a nap, but he only fell asleep when I forced him to lay down and quietly hummed for 20 minutes. Good thing I know so many Disney songs!

I woke him up when we reached the Land of Earth."Kimimaro-kun… when we reach Iwagakure… I need you to just stay behind me and don't speak or act without my say-so."

Kimi gives me a puzzled expression and I sweatdrop, "I ah.. I'm not exactly on friendly terms with them. I'm only visiting due to an agreement." I subconsciously press my bangs over my mouth and look away, basically sitting in a thinker position. An old habit from my past life.

He nods in understanding and I land the dragon just outside of the village. Poofing the dragon into its miniature size, I hand it to Kimimaro, "Here, watch over this, un." Wow, he's taking this seriously as he gives me a firm nod. 'Honey, I just want you to hold the dragon, I'm not asking you to hold onto S-rank secrets- aw fuck it, you're adorable.' Kimimaro clutching a clay dragon to his chest is possibly the cutest thing I have seen since Naruto discovering pancakes. Just less messy.

Within mere seconds of going near the village three figures literally float down to us. Gently pushing Kimimaro behind me protectively I smirk, "You guys certainly know how to make an entrance, un!"

Before me was Onoki the Tsuchikage, and Deidara's former teammates Akatsuchi and Kurotsuchi… Seriously, their names are so weird. (AN:I keep reading their names as "Akatsuki" and "Kuroshitsuji" in my head.)

"Cheeky as ever Deidara. Even with becoming a missing nin you haven't changed." The old man boasts towards me.

Kurotsuchi skips over to me with a pout, "Deidara-nii! I want to see how strong you've become. I haven't seen you in forever!"

'And I've seen you never.' Was all I could think looking at the younger girl. 'Why do girls think pouting works? You just make me want to poke your cheeks.' And so I did, I poked her cheek, using my nail.

"Ow! Why did you do that?!" Kurotsuchi rubs her cheek overdramatically. 'Seriously, I am immune to things trying to be intentionally cute. You're making Daiki look like a newborn puppy.'

"You were being annoying. There's nothing cute about puffing out your cheeks like a fugu, un." I fold my arms with a frown. "I'm not here to battle or cause problems. I'm only here on orders from the old man, once this visits over I'm going home to my brother."

Onoki noticed that, "'Brother', Deidara?"

One of my arms move like I'm swatting a fly in dismissal, "Before we talk, can I at least get Kimi-kun some new clothes?" I hear the younger boy behind me mutter " 'Kimi-kun' ?" and cling to my shirt when all eyes focus on him.

Kurotsuchi looks at Kimi in interest, "Is that your brother Deidara-nii?"

"One of them. I'll send a photo in my next letter if you'd like, un." Without warning I toss all of my clay and weapons to Akatsuchi, "Feel free to search me, but considering I am now a member of Konoha and we have a deal Onoki-sensei… You guys don't have much power over me, un."

I take Kimimaro's hand and walks past them, Kurotsuchi chases after me claiming that I'll "Pick out ugly outfits!", leaving Onoki and Akatsuchi standing there baffled.

Onoki grumbles, "I see he's become even more of a cheeky brat… but it seems like he has found something in life besides his… 'art'."

Akatsuchi just nods.

Time for shopping!

'Ha! I can pick out nice clothes!' Was my only thought process as I kept picking out outfits for Kimimaro to try on. I kept the colors to soft purples and greys, with designs that make the tops easily removeable due to Kimimaro's kekkei genkai. Though I sent the last Kaguya to pick out his own yukatas and pajamas. If I had control over that, he'd end up looking like a girl… tempting really.

Kurotsuchi, however, didn't seem to understand my choice of clothes. "Nii-chan! Have him try on this!" She then holds out the standard shinobi garb of Iwa, tight red top with one long sleeve and a pair of red pants.

I had to suppress a gag, I love red, love it to bits. But that red looks like a brick threw up and died on it. It would dull out Kimimaro's bright green eyes!

"Hell no, un. It's ugly, would make Kimimaro look like joke, and it would get ripped up in a matter of minutes on the battlefield or get him killed."

She gasps, "No it wouldn't it's designed to not get damaged easily!" She proceeds to pout again.

'Do we girls really act like this…? Or is just exclusive to anime...?'

I calmly grab a soft blue kimono shirt for Kimi, "Exactly, un. He uses bones to attack. It would limit his abilities to fight." I ignore her questioning stare as Kimi approaches me wearing a child's yukata.

He nervously fiddles with the sleeve as he waits for my approval. Grey pinstripe with a modest obi, he blushes as my eyes begin to bug out. It's not the prettiest color, I'm tempted to make him wear a girl's yukata. But his eyes pop in contract almost giving him doe eyes.

I break my "do not fangirl around others rule" at that moment, "Kimi-kun look at you! You're so adorable!" I make an unmanly squee sound as I scoop up my new brother and twirl the poor child in my arms. If Kimimaro is this cute in a yukata then I need to take Naruto shopping when we get home. "Oooooh promise me you'll keep your hair long, un! You look just wonderful!"

3rd person POV

Conveniently, Onoki and Akatsuchi entered the shop just in time to see DEIDARA of all people, squealing like a girl with a smaller kid in his arms.

All three Iwagakure shinobi watch this display with the same confused thought.

'What happened to Deidara?'

Onoki quickly did a few handsigns, and confirmed that, yes, this is Deidara. But he is still tempted to check the boys head. No one changes this suddenly within a year.

Deidara sets Kimimaro down and pays for all the clothes, sending the boy off to get dressed in a new outfit. "What?" Deidara crosses his arms in annoyance as his former teacher and teammates look at him like he's grown another head.

"You okay Nii-chan?" Kurotsuchi puts a hand on Deidara's forehead. "You've changed." She just gets her hand batted away.

"Isn't me changing a good thing though, un? No one in Iwagakure liked my art and when I decided to improve myself I was branded a traitor. I get I stole a forbidden jutsu, but honestly, it compliments my kekkei genkai, un." Inside Deidara's head he is trying to think of SOME kind of jutsu that he could use with the explosion release, and came up with nothing.

Onoki spoke next, "That jutsu was forbidden for a reason. You were foolish to use it."

Deidara shrugs with a meh face, "And now Konoha has a new powerful shinobi. Your guy's loss I guess, un. I have people I want to protect and I plan on talking with the Hokage about letting me earn a headband." The moment Onoki began to scold Deidara, an aura of pure apathy oozed out from him and filled the room.

Kurotsuchi was upset, Deidara didn't even seem to care about his old life. She was happy that he had people in his cared about, but on the other side, he seemed to have turned his back on Iwa.

Deidara's POV

'I feel awful. How do you talk to people you have no memories of?' I only know about this world from what was shown to the viewers. We don't know Deidara's past all that well and here I am, expected to actually know these people. When I woke up in this body, I never received Deidara's memories. I don't even know if he has a family here.

I'm left feeling apathetic to Kurotsuchi's upset expression, Akatsuchi's confusion and Onoki's growing frustration. These are just strangers to me. I never invested time in understanding Iwagakure. Hell, I'm more emotionally invested in filler characters. FUCKING FILLER CHARACTERS!

The fact that they arrived in the show so late adds to my lack of fucks given. I was going through a phase where the show was losing my interest, most of the Akatsuki was dead and Kabuto had yet to reveal his edo tensei. Revealing who Deidara's sensei and teammates were, only left me sitting in my chair bored.

I let out a tired sigh, I didn't want to come here. But I have to keep my agreement with the Hokage and Tsuchikage. But they never said how long I was suppose to stay. So when Kimimaro returned I give him a soft smile.

Looking back at the three before me, I calmly bow, "I thank you for greeting me at the gates. But I must return to Konoha and help Kimimaro-kun settle. I will write again with some photos and I'll visit later. Hopefully when we meet again you all will understand that I am a different person now, un." The formalities felt odd on my tongue but it got my point across.

The Deidara they know is long gone.

Onoki was the first to protest, "We had a deal Deidara! You will come to my office and we will discuss everything that is needed to be discussed!" He tries to stop me from exiting the store.

I look at him with a cold expression, "You never said how long I had to stay, and to be frank, you lost your chance the moment you tried to scold me for developing my art, un. You'll get another chance later when I visit, try not to make this mistake again." Nudging the small man to the side, I take Kimimaro's hand and leave the village.

Making a simple bird this time, I have us fly to Konoha. I'm relieved that I get to go back to the place I now call home, with my new ragtag family and ever growing army of chibis.

I should be happy, so why…?

Why won't these tears stop?


A mini skip in time


"Nii-sama."

"Deidara-nii, un."

"... Deidara-nii sama"

"Kimimaro-kun, stop with the 'sama' please, un."

"I will not. You are my elder thus you are nii-sama."

"If you keep calling me 'Nii-sama' I'm going to give you pet names."

"Do as you please, Nii-sama. My life is yours." He bows his head low towards me.

This has been going on for the past ten minutes. Despite taking the kid from Orochimaru, he STILL got the whole idolization trait. Hell, the conversation started with him addressing me as "Deidara-sama"... I AIN'T NO "Deidara-sama"! It took seven minutes to stop the Deidara-sama part, and another three to get him to use the brother honorifics.

I throw my hands up in frustration, "I give up, un!" The kid is almost as stubborn as me! He's just more polite and adorable about it.

Thankfully, Konoha was in the distance. Landing the bird, I have an earth clone go retrieve the paperwork from Hiruzen as I take Kimimaro home.

I am instantly greeted with a hyper blond tackling me. It's good to be home.

"Welcome home Deidara-nii! Guess what! Teme and I were sparring and- who's that dattebayo?" He points over to Kimimaro who's just watching the exchange.

"This is Kimimaro-kun. Kimimaro-kun, this is Naruto."

Kimimaro just looks down at Naruto, makes me realize how short he is compared to other kids. Kimi is only a year older than Naruto but he's already at my shoulder, and I'm tall for my age!

"Hello Naruto-san."

At first, Naruto does his closed eye frown, before pointing at Kimi dramatically, "You're the reason Deidara-nii left, huh?!"

"Pardon?"

WHAM

"Owowowowow Deidara-nii, what the hell dattebayo?" He rubs his head, no bump but he definitely felt that.

"Naruto, it's rude to point at people." I shoo Kimimaro to go explore and kneel to Naruto's height.

Naruto looks at me curiously, "So he's the one that will join our family?"

A simple nod was all he got, it's better if I let Naruto judge Kimimaro for himself.

"Ah… fair warning Naruto, Kimimaro-kun is… rather quiet but he's a good listener, un."

When Kimimaro returned Naruto gave him a long look. I bite my lower lip at how silly his face has become, and how Kimi is just letting this happen.

Soon, Naruto gave Kimi his sunshine smile, "I'm Uzumaki Naruto! It's nice to meet you Kimi-nii, dattebayo!" Oh thank kami he didn't scream. It's almost 9 at night and I don't need pissy neighbors… Well, we are moving tomorrow so screw it. Be loud, my little Kit!

Slowly, Kimi's mouth twitch upwards, Naruto's smiles are so contagious, it's impossible to not return one. But what made me happy was the expression on Kimimaro's face. A similar face I had gotten when I first met Naruto. A look of fierce protection and the blooming feeling of adoration.

I can tell Kimimaro is going to be an excellent big brother to Naruto.

I clap my hands together, startling the kids, "Alright chibis, bedtime!" Without argument Naruto bolts to get ready.

I go to the closet and pull out the futon, "Kimimaro-kun, you'll take the futon until we move tomorrow. I hope it's comfortable, un."

He looks uncertain, "Where will you sleep?"

"The couch, un."

He becomes blank faced, "No Nii-sama. You're taking me in, I can't possibly take your be-" Nope! I am not taking any arguments!

I peck his cheek leaving him baffled and red faced at the sudden affection. "You're adorable. But seriously, you're sleeping on the futon and that's final, un." I head to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I hear the kitchen sink running meaning Kimi's doing his nighttime routine. But what I saw when I went to the living room after tucking Naruto in, annoyed me.

Kimimaro was laying down… On the goddamn couch.

Obviously, I'm not about to let him sleep on that stupid thing. I go to the kid and scooped him up, went to the futon, and all but dropped him onto the plush bedding. Before he could get up or protest, I tuck him in, turn off the light and all but make a mad dash to the couch. I could hear him make an annoyed sound right above my head before begrudgingly go back to the futon. Ha, I win!

He's gonna learn two things. 1. How to be a kid. And 2. What I say, goes.

Though, I didn't appreciate waking up four hours later to find myself in the futon and him on the couch. How did I sleep through that?

Knowing he's going to be adamant on me sleeping anywhere but the couch, I force him back into the futon and bunked with Naruto. He didn't care and just snuggled in my arms.

As crazy as this is becoming… I honestly love this little family I am creating.


Woohoo! Kimimaro got adopted! But just because Orochimaru lost Kimimaro does not mean he will be unable to create the curse seal. Like with Sasuke, there are plenty of people that would be able to calm Jugo down.

Kurotsuchi is a character that really does not mean much to me, I feel as though Kishimoto shoehorned her in when he realized how little backstory Deidara had. Also her personality in this chapter is based on what young anime girls act like towards other characters. She'll mature later on, don't worry. ;P

Important notice: I am still taking suggestions for side stories but also, in the chapter after the next one I will be time skipping to Episode 1 of the anime. This chapter will be written similar to the Kakashi chapter where it jumps across time with random events/updates of progress. This is a good chance for you guys to have any say-so to who Deidara interacts with before the main storyline begins. The chapter will be a fairly long one and if needed will be broken up into two chapters. Go nuts! If you want more Daiki, you get more Daiki! Run in with the Akatsuki? Depending on who, then sure! It's almost five years, there is A LOT that can be done with that.

Until next time, reviews are loved, and I look forward to hearing from you guys! :D

See ya!