Another long chapter! This, and the next several chapters are going to be pretty lengthy ones too, (pray for my beta XD) so look forward to that!
Thank you so much for the favorites, follows and reviews guys, I may poke fun but it's because they make me so giddy to see!
MeiaAdey12: I love the support. I had a hard time debating on what Naruto orphan I was going to have Dei adopt. Kimi made the most logical sense due to timeline and also there is no way in hell I'm gonna let that muffin get taken by the Pedo-snake. Expect bonding in general this chapter and a nice little treat next chapter. :3
allykat5: awe indeed. ^^
VenaHope: Congrats on being my first reviewer to give me the "PLEASE UPDATE!" review! Love that you are looking forward to my chapters hun! Hope this one makes you happy! :D
"Blah" - Talking
'Blah' - thinking
Blah - Passage of time
Warnings: Swearing, trigger warnings included in the side story just to be safe, fluff, fangirls, OOCness and references galore!
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, if I did… Sakura would be a lot less pink.
I have no idea why I woke up in Naruto's room. It's a bad mental habit, I'll sometimes forget events from the previous day for a few minutes. Guess whatever happened resulted in Naruto become my teddy bear for the night.
Slowly, I remove myself from Naruto's grip and climbed out of bed. I stretch until I hear the satisfying pop of my spine, then relax my muscles with a sigh. Yep, this body does not like mattresses at all, every part of me aches.
I begin to make the slow shuffle out of the room, though I was interrupted mid-yawn when my foot catches under something and I trip. Landing face first onto the ground, I hear a younger voice yelp from under my legs… wait, Naruto's in his bedroom… waaaaiiiitttttt, who did I trip on?!
Bending my legs, I awkwardly twist my neck to look at a small boy with white hair looking at me with a mix of confusion and worry. I spend a good ten seconds of staring for my slow brain to register what happened.
I adopted Kimimaro. He is in my futon and I tripped on him…
Shit, I just kicked a chibi.
My maternal instincts go into overdrive as I twirl around and begin checking him. "Kimimaro! I'm so, so sorry, I completely forgot about yesterday and I didn't mean to kick you! Oh Kami, are you okay baby, un?" I think my panic shut down the poor kid's brain due to overstimulation. I don't blame him. This is probably the first time someone has fussed over him.
"I… I am fine Nii-sama, are you hurt? You landed pretty hard." He regained his composure and stopped my fussing by grabbing my wrists.
I blink a few times, "Yeah… yeah sorry, I'm overly emotional in the morning, un." I give him a nervous laugh. Quiet footsteps catch my attention and I look to see Naruto rubbing his eye. Aw… I woke him up.
"Deidara-nii… wha…" He yawns, "What happened…?"
I can't help but smile at how cute he's being. "It's nothing. Why don't you and Kimimaro go get ready for the day while I make breakfast? Kimimaro can take the first shower, un." We're all boys, so I don't mind the whole using the bathroom while another showers, thing. But, I still lock my door when I bathe, I am not ready to see any naked males anytime soon besides my own body… okay, I am done with bathroom talk.
Naruto sleepily nods and leads Kimimaro to the bathroom. Poor kit, he usually doesn't wake up for another hour. But then again, we also have to move today.
Going to the kitchen I prepare some fruit salad and honey for breakfast. The fruit won't survive the move, so I need to make sure we eat all of it. I also took the time to prepare several lunches, mainly cause I'm going to introduce Kimimaro to Sasuke and Hinata.
Sealing the lunches in a scroll, I call out, "Chibis! Breakfast!" Naruto bolts into the kitchen, at first he seemed disappointed at the salad. But then I shoved a strawberry into his mouth to shut him up and he was happy with the honey taste.
Kimimaro entered the kitchen with damp hair and a fresh outfit, I click my tongue in disapproval. "Kimi-kun, do this, un." I then bend forward, flinging my hair in front of me.
He mimics the position and I grab a towel and wrap his hair up in a turban and had him stand up. At the very least he won't drip water onto the floor.
After eating breakfast I hand the boys scrolls, "Put all of your things over the seals then call for me when you are done. This is easier than putting everything in boxes. The furniture stays, un." They both nod and scramble to do their tasks. I have a clone handle my stuff while I fill out the paperwork for the moving.
An hour of packing and cleaning to avoid a pissy landlady later, and we reach our new apartment. I entered the place first to make sure there wasn't any mold or pests. Pleased when I saw none, I let the boys pick out their rooms… note I said "rooms".
I had Hiruzen agree to a two bedroom two bath apartment. In my head, Kimimaro would get one room and Naruto the other. Apparently the kids didn't get the memo.
"Boys, I said pick out your roomS." I hiss out the s sound for emphasis.
Kimimaro was the first to start the argument, "Nii-sama, where would you sleep?" When I point at the spot between the rooms, he crosses his arms. "No. You take one of the rooms, Otouto and I will share a room." Naruto beams at being called otouto, and promptly joins in.
"Yeah! You always sleep outside a room and you should have a space all to yourself, dattebayo!"
"But-" I was interrupted by two sets of glaring eyes. 'They're going to force me to sleep in one of those rooms eventually huh..?' I sigh, "You two get the bigger room, un."
At least they were satisfied with me agreeing to have a room. I move the other bed into the boys rooms and we spend the rest of the morning unpacking and organizing things. Though the apartment was still pretty empty, as it was twice the size of the previous one, that and Kimi and I do not own much stuff.
Checking the time I call out to them, "Naruto! Kimi-kun! We're going to meet up with Hinata-chan and Duck-kun to train, un!" I hear Naruto cheer with glee as he bolts to where I am. Kimimaro is just confused.
"...'Duck-kun' Nii-sama…?" He tilt his head, most likely picturing a literal duck.
The hyper child bouncing right next to me begins to rapidly talk to Kimimaro about Sasuke. Good to know Naruto is already becoming fond of Kimi.
Reaching the training grounds, Hinata and Sasuke were already waiting for us. I had a clone do some errands while we moved, and telling these two to meet us up made my life easier.
"Hey Hinata! … Teme..." Naruto cheerfully greeted Hinata but then glared at Sasuke. It was normal, Sasuke would just return a glare, then they would turn their heads away, noses in the air. It's like watching two tsunderes interacting with each other.
"H...hello Naruto-kun…" Oh praise the universe, we only had one pause! The exercises are working! Hinata seems to be taking my advice to heart, good.
I cough into my hand to get their attention, "Hinata-chan, Duck-kun, this is Kimimaro, un." I motion to the boy hiding behind me- wait, why is he acting shy? I nudge him out of his hiding spot. Can't hide behind my figurative skirt all the time, sweetheart.
Kimimaro cautiously waves, "Hello." Before looking up at me. I then lightly nudge the small of his back with my knee to make him walk over to them.
Hinata nervously greeted him, but Sasuke just glares. Guess he wants to test the Kaguya boy.
"I want all of you to spar with each other. Kimimaro, spar with Sasuke. Naruto you spar with Hinata-chan, un. No jutsu, no kekkei genkai, keep the weapons to kunais, no throwing. I have a first aid kit with me and I want everyone to swap partners every few rounds, un." With that I then sat under a tree and signaled for everyone to start. I would join in, but I had other matters to attend to.
My clone appears by me and hands me a bag with something that I will either regret, or thank myself later with.
A thick blank journal, with a pen.
Black leather bound with 400 pages, specially made with the ability to seal words with just a couple drops of my blood. I saw this bad boy within the first week of being in Konoha and have been saving up since. I had it custom made to be fireproof, so unless Itachi decides to use Amaterasu on it, I don't have to worry about my art destroying it. (AN: Horcrux much?) 'Shush voice and go away.'
Taking the pen I begin writing, the circles and lines come naturally to me as I write in English. I don't trust my memory to remember everything about this world. So I'm writing everything while it is still fresh in my mind.
I want to preserve all of the information I know about this universe, both its people and the timeline. Naruto's section took almost ten pages, biograph and all. It's going to take weeks before I finish this book. But I plan on having the characters to be scrambled, so Madara's page would be right after Tenten, just so it's harder to decode. That, and I'm gonna have a index on page 394… my inner Harry Potter fan squealed at the idea.
I sneak a glance at the kids and they had long since swapped partners, Kimimaro is patiently moving Naruto's arms and legs, teaching him stances. This made me smile, he's taking the big brother role to heart.
Hinata and Sasuke however, are just going at each other. Shuriken and kunai are flying in each and every direction, and Hinata was using her byakugan while Sasuke spammed fire jutsu. Well, that explains why my brothers are a good 50 feet away. You can hear calm bamboo flute music between the boys… and it's just a war zone between the clan heirs, I swear I can hear Sephiroth's theme song in the background.
I had to get in between the two when a kunai nearly impaled my neck. "LUNCHBREAK, UN!" I think I nearly gave them all heart attacks.
I hand them all their lunches, Sasuke was pleased when he saw sun dried tomatoes with pasta. Hinata got an adorable bento lunch with some pre-made cinnamon rolls. Kimimaro, since I had no idea what to feed him, got a high calcium lunch with a rich green salad and some cooked fish.
And Naruto…
"AW SWEET! RAMEN, DATTEBAYO!" I decided if everyone else got their favorite food, he should too. Thank Kami that scrolls can preserve heat, and thank Kami for clones, so useful.
I kept my lunch to some leftovers. I got extremely lazy with my lunch and I wanted chicken.
Maybe I should have been reborn as Shikamaru, at least I would get to keep my birthday.
The whole affair was peacefully silent. No awkward tension, no negative feelings, just the sound of nature and the occasional comment on the food or someone's taijutsu skills. At some point Hinata tried to apologize for her and Sasuke breaking my rules but I wave it off, as long as no one got hurt I was fine with it. Once the boys were done eating, I hand them papers and pens.
"Write down anything you need and/or liked to have in your room. We will not get everything at once, but it will give me a good checklist, un." I pause, "Kimimaro if you argue I'm going to make you wear a dress, un." I poke his stomach when he opened his mouth to protest. Problem is that, if I told him to wear a dress, I am pretty sure he would!
...I am now tempted.
After lunch, Hinata had to leave due to the fact that she promised to train with Neji. My heart soared at that news, he took my advice and talked with his cousins.
When Hinata left, Naruto was just frowning, "Who the hell is Neji, dattebayo?!" Whoa, he has steam coming from his ears.
"Her cousin."
He then deflates faster than a popped balloon. Haha! He is starting to develop feelings for Hinata… I hope. He still talks about Sakura a lot. Kimimaro seemed interested in Neji, as he enjoyed his spar with Hinata. Guess I have some introductions to do later on.
I offered to walk Sasuke home, but he simply handed me the box that use to hold his lunch and leave. "The least you could do is say thanks Duck-butt!" Crap, I'm killing Naruto again.
"Why do you call him Duck?" Kimimaro was looking at me with a puzzled expression.
"Seriously, why am I the only one that notices his hair looks like the butt of a duck, un?" Naruto's clutching his stomach from laughter. Maybe I should stop… he's gonna barf at this rate.
Kimimaro and I both patiently wait for Naruto to stop laughing, the kid nearly passed out at one point.
Once things had calmed down I take both boys out shopping. I started with the basics, clothes. Kimimaro had plenty of outfits, but Naruto needed some new clothes because his growth spurt is going to be soon. So, I took them to the store I usually shop in, as I like the quality and the pricing was fair.
The shop owner greeted me with her usual smile, I politely return it while nudging Naruto and Kimimaro to the yukata section. I am unaware of what she thinks of Naruto, but it's best to be safe than sorry.
And then the lady's daughter latches onto my arm. Yep, I have a fangirl, I don't even know her name and I don't care. This happens everytime I come here after the third visit, the girl is about a year older than me, but apparently she has a thing for blonds.
Sadly for her, I don't have a thing for brunettes… or women in general. Unless you're Anko or Konan, but that's personality.
I let out a heavy sigh, "Please let me go, un." 'Don't kill, don't kill. You like this store's clothes, you do not want to make a scene. Do not attract your brothers' attentions.'
"But Deidara-kun~ It's been too long! Tell me about your missions!" It is NUZZLING my shoulder! My entire body bunches up like something covered with germs was touching me. A shiver runs up my spine. Nope! I do not like fangirls! This is not a good thing! I'm a fangirl, but I would never cling to the object of my affection like a leech!
I try to keep an unimpressed expression, "I can't, I have some errands to do, I'm sorry, un." It is so hard to be polite. I'm use to overly affectionate people, but I just want to get away from this girl! I NEED AN ADULT, UNIVERSE!
"Yo!"
'Kakashi I love you, I love you so so so much I would kiss you if you weren't over ten years my age and wearing that goddamn mask. Did anyone ever tell you that you are a fucking saint?!'
Without warning, I twist myself to face Kakashi, the girl lose her grip from the movement. "Kakashi-san! Hello!"
He pretends to be oblivious to what he just witnessed, "Hokage-sama wishes to speak with you. I'll escort you there."
'Yep… I want to shower this man in kisses and admiration.' I quickly nod, "Alright, but my brother is still picking out a yuka-" Something tugs my sleeve. Looking down Kimimaro is holding up a… oh jesus.
A bright orange yukata covered in flowers with a dark blue obi. Naruto picked out a girl's yukata… Well, at least it's cute.
"Nevermind, un." I cautiously take the bright object and buy it, I see Kimimaro discreetly escort Naruto out of the shop. Crisis avoided.
"Deidara-kun! Promise you'll visit soon~"
I then grab Kakashi by the arm and drag him out. I hand the bag to Kimimaro, told them that I'll catch up later, and got the fuck out of there.
I need a new store to shop at. I'd rather be around Daiki.
One walk later
I enter the Hokage office to find Hiruzen, a stack of paperwork and a small parcel on top of it.
I give him a questioning gaze and he takes a drag from his pipe.
"These are official adoption papers for both Naruto and the Kaguya boy. Once you are of jonin rank in Konoha's eyes, you will fill these out and they will be completely under your guardianship."
I pause for a moment, "But I'm not a Konoha shinobi, un."
He motions towards the parcel and I open it. Well well well…
It was a Konoha headband, with a black cloth instead of blue.
"I was able to get approval for you to be a chunin, with you having to wait until you are 14 to become a jonin."
I was taken aback by this. All I could do was bow, tie the headband on my forehead, pick up the paperwork and walk out while Hiruzen chuckled at my baffled expression.
Kakashi tilts his head at me, "Congrats. You're-"
"I'M A KONOHA SHINOBI, UN!" I was now jumping for joy squealing like an actual fangirl. Who cares if I'm Deidara?! I'm a motherfucking shinobi of the Hidden Leaf Village!
I ended up hugging Kakashi, who awkwardly pats my back, unsure of what to do.
I let him go and with a giddy smile and a very violent bow, I run off to my apartment. Seeing the boys approach me wondering why I look like a serial killer, I tackle both boys in a tight hug, smothering both of their heads in kisses.
Naruto wiggles away, "Gah! Deidara-nii?! What's wrong with you?"
I can't stop smiling. I point at my forehead, instantly Naruto starts cheering while Kimimaro just stares blankly at me.
"Can we have ramen to celebrate, dattebayo?!"
I freeze. He just had ramen for lunch. I look down at my brother… before grinning like an idiot.
"Why the hell not, un!"
Side story #3: Iruka and Sakura (One year after Deidara's encounter with Obito. Credits for ideas in the authors note at the bottom.)
TRIGGER WARNINGS: Hostage and kids in dangerous school situations. (The kids are not in actual danger, but it's best I give everyone a fair warning.)
Naruto forgot his bento, AGAIN! I swear he can remember in detail how to make food, especially ramen; but to remember his own damn food? Of course not!
"Nii-sama, would you like for me to deliver otouto's bento to him?"
I look over at Kimimaro with a sadistic grin, "Nah, it's been a year. Time to embarrass him, un." Kimi merely nods, takes his lunch and leaves to go to his class. Kimimaro is a year behind due to his childhood, putting him in Neji's class. I often see the Hyuuga boy training with my brother, though it looks more like dancing than fighting. At least they both found each other in friendship.
Reaching the academy, it didn't take long for me to hear Iruka yelling at Naruto for one of his pranks… Wait, he pranked someone and didn't tell me?! Oh hell no!
I nearly scared the shit out of everyone when I slam open the screen door shouting, "NARUTO DAMMIT, STOP FORGETTING YOUR LUNCH! Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt, un." I fake an apologetic smile to Iruka, who was clutching a hand over his heart. Poor guy.
The scarred shinobi quietly observed me before looking at Naruto, " Go back to your seat, I need to speak with your brother." the blonde sighs in defeat. He grabs his lunch, but not before I snuck a kiss to his cheek earning a "DEIDARA-NII!" And several students laughing at his expense.
Stepping out of the classroom, Iruka closes the door, "What did you need Sensei, un?"
"You can just call me Iruka, Deidara-san." Iruka bashfully begins to scratch the side of his face, "Well, I need a favor."
I motion for him to go on.
"This is my first year of teaching and..." He sighs, "Most of the civilian students are not taking the idea of being a shinobi seriously. Especially the girls, who almost always spend their time gossiping or watching Sasuke. I uhh…." he claps his hands together, "Could you maybe teach a lesson on shinobi life?"
"...So you either want me to make these kids take this lifestyle seriously, or scare them enough to make them quit, un?" Honestly I was surprised, but then I remembered that Iruka is a new teacher. This isn't the Iruka that risks his life to protect Naruto, this is an Iruka who has no idea what the hell he's doing. I can relate in a way.
After he nods, I smirk evilly, "Alright. I have an idea, un. So here's the plan..."
3rd person POV
Naruto was glaring at his classmates grumbling to himself about Deidara embarrassing him.
"It's not so bad N-Naruto-kun…" Hinata whispered reassuringly to Naruto. Hinata and Naruto have become close friends, and a year of Deidara's training has made Hinata more confident. Though she still slips up every once in awhile and stutters.
Naruto still has a crush on Sakura, but whenever someone bothers Hinata, he becomes extremely protective of her.
Somethings are hard to kill, that one-sided crush was like a cockroach.
Naruto nods pouting, 'Gah she's right... Deidara-nii actually tries to take care of me. I just wished he wasn't so… so… feminine acting. He's a brother, not a mom.'
Naruto's thoughts were interrupted when Iruka and Deidara re-entered the room. Hell, everyone went quiet as the same thought rang through their heads: 'Why did he come back?'
Iruka coughs, "Class. This is Deidara, a former Iwagakure shinobi, now Konoha chunin, who will be teaching you about the shinobi lifestyle." He then sat down at his desk. Many of the students begin bouncing in their seats with excitement.
Deidara develops a kindergarten teacher's smile and claps his hands, "Okay, so who here already has a shinobi relative or had a shinobi relative?" All of the clan kids, a small handful of civilian kids, including Sakura and Naruto raised their hands. "Perfect. Then feel free to ignore this lesson unless I call on you directly, un."
Kiba whooped and Shikamaru almost instantly slammed his head against his arms to take a nap. Most of the other kids either started to talk to their friends or the studious ones like Sasuke, Sakura, Shino and Hinata kept listening. It didn't take them long to realize that this was a test.
With an even, but threatening tone Deidara continues talking, "Congrats! Those who decided to talk... can get the hell out of the classroom, as your chatter would be a disturbance, un." One glare was all it took for those students to shut up. "Thought so. So Iruka-sensei has given me free reign to talk about whatever I want, so I'm going to do that. First step is the kekkei genkai."
All of the clan kids instantly straightened their backs, except for Shikamaru, who is out cold.
"Kekkei genkai are special chakra natures or techniques that are passed down through the generations. From the Hyuuga clan's byakugan, to special natures like the lava release, each of the five great nations have a number of rare bloodlines within them, un. Konoha having the most and Kiri having the least."
A civilian student raises her hand, "Why does Kiri have the least?"
Deidara looked at the student dead in the eyes, "Because those with kekkei genkais are slaughtered on sight, un." The mood quickly turned grave. "Anyone born with unique abilities are killed the moment they are discovered. The Yuki clan is all but extinct, the last few are spread thin to keep their last few members safe. In fact, my other brother is the last member of Kiri's Kaguya clan, un." A few kids begin whispering about Kimimaro.
"That's why clans are so secretive here in Konoha, rarely letting outsiders in. Other villages would risk war for their unique chakra. Kumogakure being one of them; they have attempted to kidnap those from Konoha with the intent of studying their bloodlines, and most likely breed the kekkei genkais into their own village, un. And no, I am not saying every shinobi in Kumo is bad. If you accuse me of such I'll beat your tiny ass into next week, un."
Several clicks from kids closing their mouths just now occurred.
Shino calmly rose his hand, "Do you have a kekkei genaki?"
Deidara put his hands on his hips, "That I do Aburame-kun, I have the explosion release kekkei genkai, un." Everyone was now paying attention… except Shikamaru, who is still sleeping. "It actually relates to my next topic: The shinobi lifestyle."
Without warning the blond rose his arms and showed off his palm mouths, earning screams from the girls and a mix reaction from all of the boys. Naruto, Hinata and Sasuke just sigh, those chibis were already use to the palm mouths.
"I was not born with these, I stole a forbidden jutsu that allowed me to knead my explosive chakra into clay. I was then branded a traitor and a rogue shinobi to my old village, un. I became a shinobi at the age of seven, by the time I was nine I became a chunin, and I left my village almost two years ago as a jonin. I have murdered, and flatten villages with my jutsu, un."
The air was thick with tension, as a few civilian kids begin to show regret about becoming a shinobi.
"Konoha is at a time of peace, but the threat of war and imminent death looms over all shinobi. Once you are a shinobi and on the battlefield, it's no longer all fun and games. Your greatest rival may be the one to save your life, un."
Naruto and Sasuke exchange glances.
However, some of the civilian students begin to stop paying attention. Mutters between them can be heard, some girls are talking about boys and a "This is boring…" reaches the bomber's ears.
"Ladies, don't be shy. Raise your hand if there is someone in this very room, that you have a crush on, un."
Almost instantly 90% of the female population raised their hands giggling, even Hinata was timidly raising her hand. Of course when Naruto saw both Sakura AND Hinata raising their hands he begins to glare menacingly at Sasuke. Obviously getting the wrong idea.
Sasuke returned a glare, 'Dobe, Hinata likes you. Not me.'
"Well, seeing as you girl's were able to pay attention when I mentioned love... you should pay attention now. Sasuke-kun, I would like to talk to you in private, un."
"Hn." Sasuke gets out of his seat and leaves the room with the bomber. Everyone was confused but some of the more aware students became suspicious.
Choji begins to shakes Shikamaru away, "Shika, I think something bad is going to happen..."
Shikamaru just grumbles awake and sits up, "Troublesome, everything will be okay." He then cracks his neck joints and slumps in his seat. Choji begins to munch on some chips to calm his restlessness.
Suddenly shouting was heard in the hallway, followed by some thuds and the screen door being thrown off.
A tall man wearing a plain white mask entered the room, a katana strapped to his hip and Sasuke being dragged inside by the back of his head. Deidara was nowhere in sight, but the hallway had splats of a red substance on the walls.
Everyone was either shouting at the man to let Sasuke go, or suffering from the bystander effect. Even Naruto was frozen on the spot.
Iruka shot up from his seat, pulling out a kunai out but freezes when the man does a handsign, "P...paralyzation jutsu… d-damnit!"
The man finally spoke in a powerful, booming voice, "Listen up. One of you kill your sensei, or your classmate dies." All of the fangirls in the room began crying from the emotional stress, many of the boys were unsure what to do. Kill their sensei? Impossible! How did this guy get into the academy?
Finally someone moved. They threw a branch at the man.
The one to throw the branch was Sakura, standing by a window where a tree was nearby. Terrified for her own safety, took the third unspoken option in order to protect her classmates and the boy she loved.
Take down the masked man.
At an instant Hinata activated her byakugan and got into a defensive position, eyes flickering with confusion for a moment. Naruto had to be held back by Kiba and Choji so he didn't fling himself at the man. Many of the clan kids grabbed kunai and shurikens from their backpacks. Hell, even a handful of civilian students got ready to attack.
The masked man pulled out his katana and pressed it to Sasuke's throat. "Pinky, you want to save your boy? Face me head on if you dare." Blood started leaking from Sasuke's neck as the katana pricked him. Sakura face morphs into fear as she sees the red liquid.
"How about you break your jutsu instead?" Suddenly, the masked man's shadow turned black as Shikamaru calmly sat in his seat. The man began to mimic the Nara's posture, dropping Sasuke who is also caught in the jutsu.
Naruto looks at Shikamaru confused, "What do you mean Shikamaru, dattebayo?" Everyone was also sharing the sentiment.
Shikamaru sighed, "Isn't it obvious? That's just your brother in a henge and Sasuke's playing along. Why do you think Hinata looks so confused?"
Naruto looks at Hinata, who looked unsure about the whole thing.
The man lets out a laugh, "You really are a bright kid, Nara-kun. What do you say, Iruka-san? Sasuke-kun?"
"I'd say Shikamaru and Sakura handled that with flying colors." "Hn"
A collection of "WHAT?!" Rang out as everyone looked at the back of the classroom.
There stood Iruka with a bashful smile, and Sasuke nonchalantly checking his nails. Kiba and Choji release Naruto, who goes to wildly shake Sasuke while flipping out. Hinata slumps in her seat relaxing, she noticed everything the moment she activated her eyes.
Soon the masked man and the other Sasuke turn to earth and crumbled away. And the Iruka at his desk poofed into Deidara.
"That students, is what shinobi risk everyday for the rest of their lives. And most of the time, at least one of them doesn't return home alive, un."
Deidara's POV
I spent the later part of the morning explaining why I scared the piss out of everyone. At the same time praising the students that acted properly to the situation. The red stuff was just tomato juice from a vending machine.
I was inspired by Kakashi's lecture he gave Team 7 in the anime, where he threatened Sasuke's life after the bell test. But the school environment made me more uncomfortable, as this was extremely close to home with my old life. I had to keep reminding myself that guns have not been invented, and that everyone with chakra could do worse damage with a single handsign.
By the time lunch rolled around, I heard half of the civilian kids in that class were asking to be transferred to a regular school. It explains why by the time the show starts the classroom only has about 20 students. News of this will spread and more of the kids unqualified to be shinobi will most likely transfer too.
Better that they stay alive and living productive lives than be death fodder if you ask me. I want to keep the body count to a minimum if possible.
I sit down with Naruto and Hinata for lunch, Sasuke went to go eat somewhere else, as he doesn't like being bothered by fangirls. Kimimaro was preoccupied training with Neji nearby, promising he'll eat after a few rounds.
"Hey, Sakura-chan!" Naruto waved excitingly at the pinkette in the distance… staring right at me.
'Here we go again…' Time to manipulate another kid. Damn, I should have been reborn as Sasori, I feel like a puppet master- 'NOPE BRAIN! Shut the fuck up! He's even worse than being Deidara!' With a sigh, I stand up and walk over to the girl.
"Can I help you Sakura-san-"
"PLEASE TRAIN ME TO BE A BETTER KUNOICHI!" Sakura screams, bowing low as her face was bright red. Holy shit, the kid got a pair of lungs!
"...Why should I, un? Minus when you threw a branch at my clone's head I have yet to hear anything good about you." Harsh, but true. She's so bloody useless in the show and rarely uses her abilities minus healing. But if I can get her to focus on being stronger… She is an earth type, I know some jutsu that she can learn.
"I… I want to be able to protect Sasuke-kun! I don't want to be standing helplessly on the sidelines! Please train me!"
"No, un."
I have never seen hope crash as fast as hers. "Your entire posture and appearance tells me you care more about your looks than your strength. I heard you are on a diet," info from Sasuke, "and I just don't see the point in training someone who doesn't even have a goal or someone they strive to be like, un." As I turn to leave, Sakura grabs my sleeve. Better than my hair, I'm looking at you, Neji.
"If I figure out my goal as a shinobi, will you train me?"
I stare down into those mint green eyes, just what I wanted to hear. "Fine, but you also need to have a balanced diet. Eat what your parents feed you and pack some food for training. In fact, go ask some adult kunoichi on what you should eat. Find a goal or hero by tomorrow and I'll train you, un." I pause in thought, "Oh, and don't bother Sasuke when we train. At. All."
Sakura hesitates but nods and runs off to the library. Well that worked out.
The next day
Sakura approached me, hugging a book to her chest. She nervously shuffles her feet and holds it out.
It's a book on Tsunade.
At first, I just let her think that I would reject her. I can't help myself, I'm a sadistic asshole.
"This weekend. Bring kunai, shuriken, a water bottle and wear clothes that you don't mind getting all dirty and sweaty in. I do not believe in going easy on the first day, un." With that, I turn on my heel and left.
The side story is super long, but like I said, I am a sucker for details. The idea of Deidara teaching the students about shinobi life was suggested by Queen Mo-Freakin, though I added the Iruka and Sakura bit so Dei would meet some new people. The whole hostage bit I added because they suggested that Dei try to desensitize the kids and in my head… that means to scare the shit out of them! Cause let's be honest, the shinobi life is not all butterflies and rainbows, but is instead full of murder and lies. They have to be exposed to this stuff sooner or later.
I put in that trigger warning because things like school shootings and hostage situations are a very real and very sensitive topic. I just wanted to be courteous to any of my readers who may have been in those situations. I'm so sorry if this made anyone upset.
Ebony sword also PMed me mentioning Choji and Shino, so I gave them little cameos to start with. Don't worry though, I'll give them a lot more screen time later in the fic!
I'll also be including a segment where Kimimaro and Neji meet and become friends in the next chapter. Don't know why, I just thought they would be cute as buddies.
Remember, the next two chapters are just a collection of stories/progress reports on Deidara up until Naruto and the gang graduate. So expect lots of random events! (But who doesn't love random?) And long chapters! :D (Again, pray for my beta.)
Reviews are loved and I will see you guys in a while. It will take me some time to finish the chapters, so don't expect an update for at least a week as I am busy with school.
Byebye!
