A/N: Sorry for the delay in this chapter getting posted, but Real Life and I aren't getting along well at the moment. Would like to thank Kunari801 for taking the time to help out with beta'ing this story. I still own all mistakes.

Again Bioware/EA (fuckers) own Mass Effect and Kaidan.


Systems Alliance Operations Chief Kaidan Alenko made his way through the Mess Hall on Arcturus Station, glancing only occasionally at the news vids playing all over the room. Finally grabbing a tray and his food, Kaidan made his way to a table in a corner. Being a biotic tended to evoke either curiosity – which he had no desire to sate – or outright fear and suspicion, so most days he tended to keep to himself when not training or working. Glancing up he nodded to the tall dark haired man who approached his table, "John," he said before turning his attention back to his food.

2nd Lieutenant John Shepard, N4 Operative, survivor of Mindoir and younger brother to Kaidan's oldest friend settled down at the table, watching his longtime friend set to work on his food. "Damned Biotics, always with the best and most food," he teased before tearing into his own meal.

Kaidan chuckled, "Yeah well you go through the calories I do and you'd get a bunch of the good stuff too," he replied, "Though not really sure I'd call this the good stuff," he finished, lifting up a fork full of mystery meat and potatoes.

"At least you don't try to hide the need to devour everything in sight, unlike Keira," the younger man told him with a chuckle.

Kaidan laughed out right at this, "True, she does seem-"

This is ANN special reporter Allison Jones with a breaking news story. Word from Alliance officials is that the colony of Akuze has been destroyed by unknown hostiles. The 37th Marine squad, led by 1st Lieutenant Keira Shepard was sent in to investigate. We have just received word, that in addition to the colonists, all but one of the marines have also perished. The identity of the survivor is being withheld pending family notifications.

Again this is ANN Special Reporter…

Kaidan watched the report in shock, "John-"

John looked down at his food, "I suddenly don't feel that hungry," he said, standing up.

Kaidan stood and put a hand on his friend's shoulder, "I'm sure it's her, I mean-" Kaidan's voice broke. Last time he had really talked to Keira things had been tense to say the least.


2172 Vancouver

Kaidan walked into the apartment he had rented with the Shepard siblings two years ago, forgetting that Keira would be in residence for John's graduation, he nearly tripped over her seabag left in the middle of the floor before he noticed it. "Damnit," he swore.

Keira walked out of the bathroom in a pair of shorts and a SpecOps shirt, "Sorry Kaidan, didn't realize you'd be back this early. John said you were visiting your parents," she replied, walking over and picking up the bag.

Kaidan shook his head, "Don't worry about it Keira, I forgot you'd be here. Just give me a bit to grab some stuff and I'll stay with my parents this week," he said as he headed toward his bedroom.

She stopped, turning to face him, "So it's not just my imagination, you are avoiding me," she said softly.

Stopping in his tracks he faced her, "Keira…" he started.

She glared at him. "My fucking brother can't seem to keep his damned mouth shut and has to act the protector and I lose my best fucking friend… beautiful," she almost screamed.

Taking a deep breath, Kaidan ran his hand over his face, "Keira, he only wanted to protect you, and he was right," he tried to explain. "I would have hurt you worse because I didn't see it, I never wanted that Keira," he whispered.

"You know what, FUCK YOU Kaidan Alenko. I have been in love with you since I met you, but have I ever let it hurt our friendship?" she demanded.

"You were hoping for something that wasn't there, I'm sorry Keir…"

She walked right up to Kaidan and before he could finish his statement she punched him hard. "I was never hoping for anything other than your friendship you stupid fuck," she whispered, walking away from him.

"Keira…"

She didn't turn around, walking into John's room with her bag and slamming the door.

Kaidan stared at the closed door, something inside aching from the loss. Turning he continued into his room, absently rubbing the spot on his jaw where Keira's fist had connected.


Kaidan closed his eyes as he came back to the present, hand still on John's shoulder and that same ache back in his chest. He and Keira talked on occasion when duty required, but their relationship had become cool at best since that day. It was for the best, for both of us, he thought to himself sadly.

John shook himself, "Yeah she is a tough one – N5 last session – so yeah I'm sure she's just fine," he said quietly, pulling away from Kaidan, "You want me to let you know if I hear anything?"

Kaidan looked startled at the question, "Yeah, of course," he replied wondering why he even thought to ask the question.

John nodded, "I just… the two of you seem to have drifted apart since-"

He glanced up at the younger man, "I still care John, it was just better to put some distance between us," he told him.

Shaking his head, John met Kaidan's gaze. "That's bullshit and you know it, and right now it's eating you alive not knowing," he said, reading right through to Kaidan's soul.

Kaidan sighed, "John, things are more complicated than that and you know it," he said. "You're right though, it will drive me crazy until I know, because despite all of this I still care about her."

John closed his eyes, his emotions warring within him; between protecting his sister and keeping her secrets. "You know, it broke her heart every time you wouldn't talk to her. Knowing you were with other women or men never fazed her, but that you wouldn't talk to her unless duty required it," his hard eyes holding Kaidan's. "That broke her heart," he whispered.

"John-"

"She still loves you, with all her heart –I really have no fucking clue why. But more than that, she misses her friend," he told him shortly, poking Kaidan's chest with his finger. "I should have broken you," he finished darkly before he walked away, leaving Kaidan standing by the table alone.

Sitting down a lot of things hit Kaidan at once, he really did care for Keira, more than as a friend, followed immediately by the fact that he just may have lost her for good. The ache in his chest became more insistent and deeper at that thought.


1st Lieutenant Keira Shepard woke up in stages, each one a bit more painful than the last. She remembered touching down on Akuze with her squadron, she remembered giving the orders to check the area; at that point everything became a jumble of screams and pain.

Seeing each of the men and women under her command fall either to the monsters themselves or to the searing acid as it ate its way through their armor and skin, her own screams as it ate through her shoulder guards and greaves, barely managing to get the chest plate off before the acid managed to eat through to her skin.

She remembered setting the distress signal just before she collapsed in one of the housing units, thinking she would never wake again.

Now she was awake, glancing around the med bay of the SSV Shanghai, she took stock of her injuries. Both legs were wrapped in medigel bandages, right arm in a brace, left shoulder bandaged and – she stretched – yep stitches so probably had surgery again, wondered if it had been the rotator cuff or something else this time. Her right eye was covered, she seemed to remember getting some splash in her face, and hopefully it missed the eye.

"So finally awake Lieutenant Shepard," a quiet voice, that of the doctor inquired. "Doctor Karin Chakwas, you're on the SSV Shanghai."

Keira glanced at the doctor, "Thanks, so what's the damage," she asked.

Chakwas glanced at the datapad in her hand, "Severe acid burns on both legs and above your right eye – not sure how it missed your eye but it did. Then you broke your right arm and tore the rotator cuff in your left shoulder. We were able to repair the rotator cuff completely; the burns and broken bones we are letting heal normally."

"So how long will I be out?"

"Physically about three weeks, psychologically will depend on the psychologists and command," came the reply not from the doctor but from the deep voice of Staff Commander David Anderson. "Though if I had to hazard a guess, I'd say six to eight months."

"Sir, I am up for return to N training to get my 6 rating next month," she objected.

Anderson held up a hand, "You aren't going to lose your spot Shepard, just might have to delay it a bit," he told her. "From what we saw down there, it looks like you should have gone in with a full ship not just a squadron of Marines."

"Is that your way of asking me for a report Staff Commander?"

Anderson shook his head, "No, I am sure you'll file your report as soon as the doc lets you near a terminal. It was more asking for an informal brief."

Keira laid her head against the pillows on the medical bed, taking a deep breath, she thought back. "We got a report of the colony going off the grid, fearing raiders, we headed in immediately, hoping to catch them in the act and stop them. When we hit the dirt, we could see that something was very wrong with the situation. It was like the colony was completely abandoned, not like any of the other colonies hit by raiders," she started, her mind replaying the entire incident.


Keira hit the dirt first, though a biotic she was still well respected by her squadron, she was an N5 – something command didn't just hand out to anyone - and well decorated already. Glancing around she motioned the squadron to break into their pre-assigned teams, indicating which groups should check which areas. Taking stock of her team she nodded and the group made for the communications building across the compound.

It had been sheer luck that her squadron had been on the SSV Hong Kong at the time, having just been picked up from an op when the information came in from Alliance Command, the Hong Kong being the closest patrol to Akuze, Shepard had volunteered her squadron and taken them down to Akuze, hoping against hope it was all just a messed up comm station, fearing they had missed raiders, never expecting what they found.

She and her team had no sooner reached the communications building than the entire mission went FUBAR. She heard the assault rifle shots causing her and her team to dodge into cover outside the building, she quickly took stock of the situation. "Toombs, I want you in that shack and getting comms back up," she ordered, glancing back at the Corporal, she tried to make a point of getting to know all her team, the squad on the other hand tended to get out of hand, especially since she spent about six months in N training after every tour.

Toombs nodded, powering up his omnitool and moving quickly from cover to cover before finally reaching the door. He hacked the controls efficiently and entered the room, glancing around. "LT there's no damage here, the comms should be up," he told Keira over the team frequency.

Keira arched an eyebrow at Davis across the way, "Can you get a message to the Hong Kong to get us out of here?"

"Seems Hong Kong is out of range LT, they were heading to check another signal after dropping us off," he replied.

Keira cursed under her breath, "Alright Toombs, let's see what the hell is happening." She quickly switched to the squadron frequency, "All team leaders SitRep now," she called quickly.

"Martinez here LT, we are pinned down near one of the housing units, attackers unknown creatures, came up out of the ground," came the first report.

Martinez' report was quickly followed with similar reports by the other team leaders. "Alright let's get this by the book, I want covering fire as each team moves toward the communications building, so by the numbers ladies," she told them.

Keira moved from where she was, quickly making her way to a building further out from the one where Toombs and Davis were, she would make sure the squadron got to cover then she would bring up the rear guard. They would camp in the building until the Hong Kong came back for them the next day.

She was barely set to start cover fire, when she began hearing the screams. "SitRep NOW," she screamed into the comms.

Martinez was the only one to answer, "SNAFU LT, I've lost my team, and it looks like several other teams are down as well. These things come up from underground and they are spitting some kind of acid that eats right through armor."

"FUCK," Keira screamed, quickly clicking over to the team channel, "Davis, Toombs get out here, we're going to need more cover fire, and bring out your grenades Davis," she told the men.


"After that point it all becomes a haze, last thing I remember before getting into the housing module was the monsters dragging Toombs under. I took a direct frontal hit from the acid before I managed to get into the habitat. I set the distress signal and blacked out," she finished quietly.

Anderson sat quietly, contemplating the report. "Well we do have a name for them now, based on reports from the Council, they are called Thresher Maws. Rather nasty and stubborn species, they can survive in vacuum as spores and just drop onto any planet and thrive," he told her.

"Would have been nice to know that before now, you know so we could look for them before we put a colony on a nest," she replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Really wish the Council would figure out if they are helping us or trying to wipe us out."

"Well to be fair, they really can't be expected to remember every threat on every planet out there to warn us of," he replied lightly.

"They could damned well tell us about a species that eats people, spits acid and lives underground like a grabboid from that old vid. Oh and it can go from planet to planet as a spore on a ship in vacuum and has no limit to where it can live. Yeah I can see how that would be a hard one to remember."

Anderson put up a hand, "Calm down Shepard, you're preaching to the choir here," he told her.

Keira took a breath to calm down, "Yes sir," she replied. "So where are we headed to?"

"Arcturus, they are best set up to handle the investigation," he told her.

"Sir, I did everything by the numbers," she protested.

"I know you did Shepard, that's not in question. It's SOP and you know it," he said, trying to calm her down again.

"Have you talked to John?"

"No, not yet, we wanted to be able to say more than yeah she's alive but we don't know anything else."

Keira sighed, "I need to contact families," she whispered, the impact of losing her entire squadron hitting her out of left field.

"It's being handled Shepard, only thing you need to do is get over your injuries, I'll give John a comm when I leave here, and I'm sure the doc will let you contact him as soon as she clears you to leave medical."

Nodding, Keira glanced around, "Yeah, do you know if-"

Anderson shook his head, "No, Operations Chief Alenko is on Arcturus on a TDY, however, what he has heard, I don't know right now."

"Thanks," she replied, closing her eyes.

"I'll let you rest now Shepard, you'll pull through this," he said quietly, placing a hand on her uninjured shoulder and squeezing.

"Thank you sir," she responded.


Kaidan had just settled down for the night when his omnitool pinged. Growling he tapped the code and opened the channel, "Alenko."

"Kaidan, it's John, just got news."

That caused Kaidan to sit up, "And," he asked softly.

"She's alive and will be on Arcturus within the day. She's pretty banged up, but she got out."

Kaidan let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding. "OK, well-"

"Damnit Kaidan, quit this shit, the Shanghai is due in about 1500 tomorrow, be there-"

Kaidan closed his eyes, "John it's-"

"Bullshit it's not that simple, get your ass down there and you two figure out your friendship or I swear to the gods that I will break you in half. She almost died down there, don't be stupid anymore."

The line cut out before Kaidan could respond. "FUCK!" he said to the empty room, he knew John was right, even if he didn't want to admit it. It didn't help that he was off duty for the next forty eight hours either, and if he knew John – and he did – John knew it and would end up dragging him to see Keira one way or another.


At 1445, John Shepard was standing in the docking area of Arcturus reserved for military vessels only, watching as the SSV Shanghai was finishing up docking procedures. He was reaching a boiling point with Kaidan and Keira; they had been friends for years, before Kaidan decided to be an ass about the fact that Keira's feelings weren't quite innocent toward him. OK Hell the woman was in love with her best friend, wasn't the first time in history it had happened, and wouldn't be the last.

She was his sister though, and he wanted to make sure no one else hurt her the way their family had when they found out about her biotics. So here he stood fuming that Kaidan hadn't shown, and thinking of the different things he could do to break him in half without actually putting the other Marine out of commission. Glancing around, his jaw dropped when he saw him walk in through the entry. "Thought I was going to have to SpecOps on your ass Kaidan," he said as the older man walked up to where he stood.

Kaidan shook his head, "Yeah well we can't have that, now can we," he replied.

John opened his mouth to reply when he heard the airlock cycle open, Staff Commander David Anderson stepped out of the airlock supporting Keira still bandaged and looking even smaller than her 5'2". "Keira," he whispered as he walked slowly up to his sister and gently pulled her against him.

Anderson was always amazed at how gentle the younger Shepard was with his sister. Given the reports he saw on John's activities, the young man was a no holds barred kind of soldier, which solidly balanced against Keira's more logical and thought out approach to things, John tended to act without thinking. Knowing his record, Anderson was always surprised at how different he was with Keira as opposed to anyone else or in the field.

Kaidan was more used to John's attitude and behavior around his sister, but he still caught the look Anderson gave the siblings. They really were total opposites, John tall and bulky, Keira short and petite, John dark, Keira light.

Anderson walked over to Kaidan, "It doesn't make much sense does it," he said to the younger man.

Kaidan couldn't help the chuckle, "Just need to get to know them both as siblings. Their backgrounds are every bit as different as their personalities, but they have always been close."

Anderson nodded, "I have followed both their careers, they have a lot of potential between them. So I hear you are heading in for N3 in a few months."

Kaidan glanced up in surprise, "Yes sir, on TDY until my slot comes up, so a lot of paper pushing right now," he replied.

"Relax Chief, I follow all N candidates and operatives. Just because I only recommend some of them, doesn't mean I don't keep an eye on all of them," Anderson told him. "I'll leave you and John to get her where she needs to go," he told Kaidan before walking off in the direction of HQ.


Keira had grudgingly allowed Anderson to help her off the ship, it had been that or a wheel chair and hell would freeze over, all seven levels of Dante's Inferno, before she went anywhere in a wheel chair. So here she stood in the docking area of Alliance HQ on Arcturus with Anderson, leaning heavily on her mentor and superior. It was damned embarrassing, though not nearly as much as the way John had come up to her and hugged her. She was a soldier not some fragile doll who needed to be treated carefully.

"John, I'm an N, you don't need to baby me," she told him as she hugged him back.

"Don't care Keke, you scared the hell out of me, and if I want to treat you like china I will," he replied, carefully picking her up.

"John put me the hell down, I will walk out of here," she demanded.

"I don't think you're in much of a position to demand anything."

"I will beat the shit out of you if you don't put me down John Stephen Shepard."

Kaidan laughed at that, "She's using your middle name John, you better put her down before you get hurt."

"Bah, you're no fun, why did I invite you again?"

Kaidan almost doubled over laughing, "Invite? I seem to remember it being more along the lines of 'you be there or I kill you'."

Keira hit John, "Put me down John, now," she said, her command voice falling into place.

John knew when he pushed too far, and gently settled Keira on her feet, "Sorry Keke, I just-"

She hit him with a biotic push, slamming him down on his ass, "You listen to me John Shepard, I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, and if Kaidan has other things to do than stand here where he doesn't want to be then leave him the hell to it," she all but shouted, before turning to stalk off, only to have her legs give out under her.

Kaidan had moved before it even registered she was falling, his arms wrapping around her waist to support her, "You OK Keira," he asked.

"Yeah, just got ahead of myself," she replied, her hands on his shoulders, she pushed back. "I'm fine now."

Shaking his head, Kaidan shifted her around, settling an arm around his shoulders, his still around her waist, "I am willing to put money on the fact that you weren't supposed to walk off that ship."

Keira blushed, "Am I that predictable?"

"No, we just know you," John replied as he moved to her opposite side, sliding his own arm around her waist careful not to bump the arm in the brace. "You don't have to be strong with us."

"He's right Keira, we know you're human."

"I'm not supposed to be human remember, I'm supposed to be among the best and the brightest and the strongest," she retorted, "I'm not supposed to be weak," she finished in a whisper.

John moved, kneeling down in front of his sister, "Keke, I love you, I of all people know how strong you are, just let me be here for you from time to time."

Kaidan felt Keira tense, "What happens when you're not there?"

"We'll always be here Keira," he replied to her question.

Keira turned her eyes to him, "You've already left me once Kaidan," she said, her voice emotionless.

Sighing Kaidan turned her to face him, both hands on her waist supporting her light weight against his body. "I was trying to protect you Keira, I was wrong," he answered her unspoken question. "Now let John carry you up to medical, we'll get everything looked at and head back to quarters," he told her softly.

Keira stared for several moments before nodding, allowing her brother to pick her up again, "Sorry I hit you John," she said quietly.

"It's alright Keke, I understand."


Kaidan sat in the room Keira had been assigned in officer housing, due to the nature of her injuries as well as everything going on surrounding the investigation into the incident on Akuze she had been assigned a room on her own, which allowed he and John to be there most of the time. Right now he was sitting outside the head while she took a shower, in case she needed assistance, which she never did, but with her injuries you never knew.

He glanced up when the door opened, and Keira made her way out of the head, her hair still wet and slicked back wearing the same shorts and shirt she had been wearing five years ago. "I owe you so many apologies Keira," he said before he even thought about it.

She stopped, dropping the towel in her hands to the desk before settling down on the bed, "Yeah well shit happens, we're both Marines we know this more than anyone," she replied.

"Just listen please," he begged, kneeling on the floor in front of her. "I let my own fears dictate what I did when I found out how you felt. I never even considered the fact that these weren't new emotions to you and yet we were still the best of friends. I am so sorry I did that, I was wrong and I was an idiot. The thought of you dying on Akuze…" he dropped off with a shudder.

Keira took a deep shuddering breath, "What exactly are you saying Kaidan?" she asked, "No way out this time, just the truth."

Kaidan couldn't stop the chuckle; leave it to Keira to remember his desire to leave a way out of everything. "No way out, I care a lot for you. I can't say I'm in love with you but I know it's deeper than anything I felt for Rahna," he replied quietly.

Keira reached out, tracing the rough surface of his jaw with the backs of her fingers. "Let's go with that, see if we can't be friends again, and go from there," she whispered.

"I'd like that a lot Keira," he replied.