I think this was my favorite chapter to write so far, not only in what happens in this chapter, but also because I kept rewriting it to fit what I wanted. One particular scene made my beta and me verrrrryyyyy happy girls lol.

Thank you guys so much for all of the follows, favorites and reviews, the support brings out so much of my muse.

Zeak106: You had me scared for a moment when I was reading your review. Glad you are liking it! X3

ArmCannos34: Love that I could make you laugh hun!

IsraAl'Attia-Theron: I love that official name. Sassy!Deidara, suits the SI's personality to a T. It's always fun to look back at ourselves and laugh at the small things in life. :3

Tawnypelt37: My beta wonders the same thing. Don't worry, he'll accept more help as time goes on. (Like this chapter)

VenaHope: The sex talk was my favorite scene in that chapter, it's fun watching kiddies squirm. Also I mentioned Sai in this chapter. He won't be added to the family, but you can rest knowing the little artist will be safe.

Tanner Clark: Thank you so much for all of the reviews, it's fun seeing shippers in the review section, helps me decide pairings. You and I already talked through PM so you know a bit about my plans. ;)

Silverwolf310: Fluffy needs more friends, he's lonely. Itachi's crow does like Deidara, animals in general like me so I translated that into the SI. Never know what birds are thinking though.

Guest33: Woohoo! Time for the responses! I'm not adorable hun, I'm just crazy! :D But thank you so much for the kind words, they mean a lot to me. My beta and I had to go through this chapter several times to make sure the details were okay, it was a pain in the butt checking everything, but I'm happy that so much was happening, I really didn't want a third part. Glad you liked/hated my Danzo, it could have been so easy to just make him a cranky old man, but I think I got his manipulative side to come out here rather organically. Deidara will continuously improve, for better or worse she will learn jutsus to overwhelm her opponents, within reason of course. That Crow!Itachi scene was fun writing, and yes, the "hey cutie, those colors still clash with my hair" is their thing, it's a nice code phrase and just shows how weird their relationship is. She truly does care about Itachi, so toning his worries down even a little bit is worth the risk of getting attacked by a bird. Kurama is a fun character to mess with. And yes, Kimimaro is such a good little student. XD I couldn't resist making him the one asking all of the awkward questions. Don't worry about grudges, I still hold a grudge against Sasuke for… well… obvious reasons, but expect the twins to grow on you like a fungus cause they're here to stay! Kimi-kun needs buddies besides Neji… even though those two are absolutely adorable. Cats are majestic beings, another viewer suggested she meets the Inuzuka's dogs but… I have a strong fear of off leash dogs, so since this is a self-insert fic… yeah she is afraid of them too. I love wolves, but dogs? Nu uh. Nope nope nope. Thank you for letting me use the Notebook of Doom title! I'm so happy that you are enjoying my story!

MelonLordOfMelons: … I love your goddamn username dude. So much. But I ain't telling you anything… except yes… cheesecake. Just cheesecake. :P

"Blah" - Talking

'Blah' - Thinking

Blah - Passage of time

"Blah" - English

* - I explain in AN at bottom of chapter.

Warning: Disturbing imagery, swears, minor insanity, hot springs… yep. Hot springs.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, if I did, Anko wouldn't become a fat, kindergarten teacher like person. She would stay a badass.


Naruto is practically vibrating in his seat as we eat breakfast. It's his chance to graduate, he's been training for the last five years for this day. I couldn't be more proud for him.

"Naruto, I'll see you later, okay? I have… some important business to attend to, un." Kimimaro gave me a sceptical look, he knows that I have been training for something big, he just did not know what it was.

Naruto obliviously nods, "Alright Deidara-nii- oh shoot, the time! I gotta go, dattebayo!" He grabs his bento for once in his life and ran out the door. (AN: Hallelujah)

I sigh with a smile and relax in my seat. Kimimaro puts his headband around his waist, as that's the only place that doesn't get shredded with bones. "Nii-sama, I have a mission to attend to, I shall also be back this evening."

I look up at him, as I am still sitting. "Kimi, you're taller than me, and will be way taller when you are older. Enough with the 'nii-sama's' please, un." It can't hurt to try at least.

"Would you prefer Deidara-sama?"

"..." Damn him and his worship personality.

"Nii-sama it is then." He gives me a hug before leaving.

I take a deep breath before finishing my tea. Despite tea being a soothing drink, the moment Kimi left my heart began to race. Slowly I shuffle to my room, digging through my drawers, I pull out a small container filled with chemical preservatives and a sealing scroll filled with tools and cleaning supplies.

I take a shaky breath, "I… can do this… I have preparing for the last… five years, un." My hands begin to shake as I put the items in my empty clay pouch. I only need a little bit of clay for this one task.

A simple knock at the door caused me to jump a foot in the air with a silent scream. I quickly rush to the door and throw it open.

Hiashi is standing at the doorway, all serious as he is aware of my task.

"I will make sure you are uninterrupted." Was all he said before walking off to the Hokage tower.

My body grows numb, I quietly gulp as I return to my room to dress. It was time I ditched the kimono shirts and baggy pants. No more childish looks. I slipped on an outfit I have been both dying and dreading to wear.

Looking at myself in my fullbody mirror, I now look like shippuden Deidara. I even painted my nails black, as the look wouldn't be the same without it.

Exiting the apartment, I walk to the Hokage tower. Calmly greeting my neighbors and shop owners that have come to accept me, I enter the building and head up the stairs. At a particular door, two masked men laid unconscious on the ground, with Hiashi standing over them.

"Thank you, Hiashi-sama, un." Stepping over the bodies I enter the door and lock eyes… eye with Danzo.

"What is the meaning of this Deidara?"

I calmly close the door behind me and locked it with a click. On the outside, I look like a dutiful jounin of Konoha. Perfect posture and a neutral face.

On the inside, my heart is hammering in my throat and I want to throw up. Walking to his table I set down a harmless looking clay weasel. So much meaning behind that figure, but this man was clueless.

"Councilman Danzo of Konoha, it is time for you to die, un." I said it as plainly as saying the sky was blue. I left no room for humor, because if I joked now, I will be unable to stomach what I had to do soon.

The old bastard scoffs, "An assassination? After all these years, you'd throw away your current life? What a fool."

I feel my head tilt, "It is not an assassination. It is an execution, un." His eyebrows furrow as I pull out a piece of paper, "Your death shall be written off as heart failure so that you may be honored by the villagers for all you have done in the name of Konohagakure. Your crime is the unauthorized genocide of the Uchiha, charging you with both mass murder and treason. This was signed from Sarutobi Hiruzen, un."

By the time I had finished, Danzo was on his feet ready to unravel his sealed arm. A single handsign from me changed that.

"Wh…. What did you do?!" Danzo's usually blank face turns to horror as his left hand slowly dissolves, particle by particle and float into the air. The weasel was gone as well.

"Elementary my pathetic excuse for a Watson, I have mastered C4. I spent years practicing my chakra control. It wasn't a pretty process, un." My apathy levels rise as I walk forward, I simply stopped caring.

Danzo begins to back away from me, but another hand sign and he collapses to the ground yelling in pain as a leg dissolves.

I click my tongue in disappointment, I was hoping to beat him around a bit, but this is a good option too.

He grits his teeth, "If this is my punishment, then get it over with and kill me."

I had to contain my shock to keep an expressionless face, "Now…? I have you in my grasps, and you expect mercy?" My head keeps tilting in a bird like manner. "What have you done to deserve a quick death, un? Please enlighten me."

"I… urk… did was I had to… to protect this village."

"Yes, because having an eleven year-old* slaughter friends, family, babies, and elderly is protecting a village. You are such a hero, un." I sarcastically rolled my eyes with mock praise.

Opening my scroll, I prepared my tools, mostly cleaning supplies.

Realization crossed his face, "So you… came to Konoha… to avenge Itachi? Is that your game? What has he done for you to warrant these actions?"

I chirp out, "What has he done? Absolutely nothing, un!" Danzo lays there staring at me completely baffled. "Nothing that you need to know anyway." I won't give Danzo the satisfaction of knowing the truth about me. Besides, Hiashi is listening.

I kneel beside him, unbandaging his eye, I stare into Shisui's sharingan, unusable for several more years. "You will be the first step in bringing Itachi home, all you have to do is die. Your head was what I wanted when we talked those years back, un." A handsign later, the skin and most of the bone surrounding the eye dissolves as Danzo screams. When he tried to use his bandaged arm, I stomped on his shoulder, dislocating it.

It could be so easy to pity this old man. But one thing I have learned from being in this world, is that killing comes natural to shinobi. I adapted remarkably fast, and developed a thought process to cope with these deaths. Unlike Naruto, Kimimaro, or even someone like Orochimaru, I do not see neither human, monster or even a real living being.

To me, Danzo is still a fictional character. Black and white, paper and ink. Something I can erase.

"But I don't need your head for my plans, I need Shisui's eye, un."

A few hours later

Danzo really did die of a heart failure.

After carefully removing Shisui's eye, taking out all C4 from it, then gently placing it in its temporary home, I had proceeded to slowly dissolve Danzo bit by bit. At some point I threw up in a trashcan at the sights, but I kept it up until his heart gave out.

Maybe I shouldn't have messed with the brainstem so early on.

Anko came into the room after Hiashi received the okay. She quickly disposed of Danzo's corpse, mindful of the jar of sharingans just sitting beside him, as I had destroyed his disgusting arm a long time ago.

Ignoring the blood, she scoops me into her arms and begins to comfort me as I became unresponsive to most of anything. I was numb, unfeeling, I needed someone to just hold me.

"Let's clean you up." She leads me to a restroom. Hiashi left after seeing my glazed over eyes, understanding that for the sake of his clan, he will not ask questions.

A long wash and a new set of clothes later, I am now in the Hokage's office with Anko keeping me in a tight hug. The images began replaying in my head over… and over… like a bad dream that wouldn't go away.

Hiruzen slumped in his seat, having long since accepted his friend was doomed. He had tried to talk sense into Danzo, but based on the fact that the cyclops is now dead, he failed. "Who else is next…?"

I look at him, I can see my eyes in the window reflection, dull and tired. "No one in this village, un. Most of my next plans involve saving lives, not taking them."

He relaxes, "Good, I will let you have a few weeks off to recover and plan. Oh… Naruto graduated from the academy this afternoon. There was an… incident, but Iruka took care of it."

That was the best news I could have gotten all day. I nod limply as a smile returned to my face, "Thanks gramps. I'll be going home then, un." I began to leave until a critical thought process happened.

I flickered over to Hiruzen, slamming my hands on the desk I look at him with a crazed state of panic. Anko was left standing there with a dumb expression. "What will happen to the ROOT members?! There are children in that group, un!" Hiruzen seemed to have also forgotten that detail.

"Right… is there anyone in particular you are looking for?"

Anko's face morphs into confusion. I promise I will explain after the chunin exams!

"A boy, he doesn't have a name, thanks to Danzo. Short straight black hair, black eyes and pale skin. Orochimaru pale skin, uses ink for his jutsu, un." At the very least I need to make sure Sai is somewhere safe. I don't plan on adopting him, but my conscience will kill me if I just leave him alone.

"Alright… I'll file the paperwork for him to be placed in the same location as you."

"... Maybe you should have Tenzou build a structure… considering the boy is not the last person I plan on dragging into my life, un."

At this point Hiruzen just gave up on asking what else I knew, he nods and begins to go back to his crappy paperwork.

"Um… Hiruzen… why do you never just use clones?"

I left the office with Anko as Hiruzen almost flips his desk as he began to feel like an idiot. She then dragged me off to have dango and tea.

"I can't believe you did it Dei-chan, so what's your next plan?" Her mouth was stuffed with dango. Anko, please don't talk with your mouth full!

I took a bite of my own dango, relishing in the sweet taste. After being in a room that smelled like gore, the aroma of tea and sweet sauce was welcoming.

"...The weasel shall be returned to it's den, un." Whenever in public, I refer to Itachi as a weasel. At this point, most people that overhear just think I'm on some long term pet hunt for my lost weasel. I wish, if I had a pet weasel or ferret, I would own a white one and name it Draco. Too bad I'm not a wind type, I would so summon Kamatari.

Anko nods before giving me a concerned look, "Will you be okay? That kind of stuff messes with people's minds you know, look at Ibiki."

I lean back in my chair contemplating this. She's right, but then again, "Considering the things I've seen… I can handle it, or I just seal the images away, un." I smile as Anko relax, that's the beauty of this world, a simple seal can lock away so many bad memories.

But I also want to keep these memories as a reminder of my goals.

Not long after I began to relax, Kakashi showed up and motioned me to follow. Right… our agreement.

I slowly stand from my seat and followed the silver haired man after hugging Anko goodbye. He leads me to the memorial stone, I guess this is so no one will listen to us, as nobody really comes around here.

"I will be Naruto's sensei."

That one sentence was enough for my mouth to run. I did, after all, agree to tell him the truth if he became Naruto's sensei.

"Do you believe in reincarnation, un?"

Another hour later

Kakashi looked overwhelmed, also I could tell he didn't believe me.

"Do you have proof that you know the future?"

I put my hands behind my back and rock on my heel, "Well… while you escort the bridge maker, just before running into Zabuza...You'll encounter a puddle… that's all I will say."

He slowly nods, sighing, "If it turns out you are being truthful, I will try to make sure Zabuza and this Haku boy live. I'll also help out in your future plans."

My body relaxes at this, at least I'm slowly branching out and accepting help from others. I'm certain if I just kept doing everything on my own, I'll go nuts. I almost did while killing Danzo. With a low bow I leave Kakashi to go home.

I returned home absolutely drained. Not only of chakra, but of just mental capacity. I just need a hot cup of tea and some down time.

"DEIDARA-NII! I'M A GENIN DATTEBAYO!"

Oh right… I forgot, I'm technically a parent. Parents don't get down time until the kiddies are asleep.

I give my hyper brother a tired smile, "Congrats Naruto, I'm proud of you, un." I wrap my arms around him in a warm hug. "Tell me all about it."

And he did.

Turns out that he graduated just like in the anime and manga, except his failure was due to Mizuki actually tampering with the room so Naruto's chakra went haywire. He also learned about Kurama the same way as well.

"Deidara-nii… did you know…?"

"Yep. I've known since day one, un."

"Then… why did you take me in..?" Kimimaro hands me a cup of tea, so thoughtful.

"Naruto, if I had problems with the fuzz ball inside you, do you REALLY think I would have taken you in, un?" I pull the preteen into my lap and held him against my chest. "I took you in, not because of the fact you have the Kyuubi; but because in my eyes, all I saw was a child starving for love." I press my lips to his ear and whisper, "And I had more than enough love to give, un."

Naruto went quiet as I took a sip of my tea. Soon he hugged me tightly, thankfully I wasn't drinking at that time.

"I love you Deidara-nii."

I motion Kimimaro to join in the family snuggles, which he obeyed.

"I love you too Naruto. I love my family."

Within minutes of snuggling I was out like a light, Kimimaro had put me in my bed and the kiddies went to sleep later that night. Everything was peaceful and I got some needed rest.

What could go wrong?

The next bloody morning

Tap

The sound came from my window, 'Ugh…'

Taptap

"Go away, un… tired…"

Taptap… tap

"Fuck off you son of a half-baked Twilight vampire…" I create weird insults when asleep. I don't even care who I'm insulting right now.

'Thank yo-'

TAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAP

"MOTHER FUCKER! Oh… you…"

Outside my window was Itachi's crow rapidly tapping my window like he's a fucking woodpecker. I all but crawled to my window to open it before something breaks… the window or its beak, not sure which one.

"Can't I sleep in Itachi… please?" I rubbed my open eye and yawned. The crow hopped into the room sharingan activated and just stared at me. "… You Uchiha and waking up at stupid hours in the morning… Sasuke wakes up early too." I look over at my digital clock to see how early it really is.

5 in the fucking morning.

"..."

I then noped back to bed.

That is, I would have noped back to bed, but the fucking feather duster next to me pecked at my ear until I sat back up.

"You are soooooo lucky that I like animals, un."

Standing up I stare down at the bird with annoyance, I grab my outfit for the day and got dressed. Thankfully, it looked away.

I put the crow on my shoulder and went to get some breakfast. Feeding the crow some meat I drowsily ate my own breakfast. On several occasions slamming my head on the table from sheer exhaustion, which the crow would peck at the back of my neck and make me shoot back up. Turns out that is a very sensitive spot for me.

"You should be in bed Nii-sama."

I look up from my food to see Kimi in the doorway to the kitchen.

"I'm going weasel hunting, un." Blunt and simple.

"... Nii-sama…?" He tilts his head in confusion.

"I need to be awake to hunt for weasels, go back to bed honey, I'll be home later tonight. Make sure Naruto takes a bath when he comes home, un."

"The bird…?" The crow had turned off his sharingan just as Kimimaro had entered the room.

"Don't ask… it's been following me the past year, un."

He nods, unsure of what to think before hugging me then returning to bed. I just now realized he had his dragon plush draped over his shoulders and it is adorable!

My head slammed onto the table again. I'm tired… five more minutes...

Peck.

"OW!"

Sometime later

I head out to the border, reaching there within a relatively short amount of time using my chocobo. I am still tired, my entire body aches, and there is an inn with a hot spring right next to me. Screw all of the health risks of hot water and sleepiness, I have not once been to a hot spring and I'm gonna go all Kid Icarus on it! (AN:For those unfamiliar with the game, Pit likes hot springs. Watch some scenes, his reactions are hilarious)

I quickly rented a room for the day, informing the lady at the desk to expect a "Handsome man with black hair and dark eyes, he will have lines on his face, un." After setting my stuff in the room, hiding Shisui's eye in my chocobo's stomach, thank Kami for clay creatures, I hop into the warm water. Despite the rules of inns I kept on my trunks, mainly because I do not trust myself or the universe.

Closing my eyes, I let myself relax. Yep, I can see why even monkeys love these baths, it feels like heaven. Because it's so early in the day no other guys were in the baths. Good for me, I have no idea how I would react seeing another naked man-

"I love springs as much as anyone, but isn't it a little too early for a bath Deidara?"

I screamed a… okay I admit it, I screamed like a girl and sunk myself in the water, completely forgetting that I lack the assets to be shy about.

Timidly, I peek over my shoulder and my eye lock onto pale feet with purple nail polish.

'Don't look up, don't look up, don't look- He has nice abs... ABORT MISSION! DISENGAGE! TOO MUCH SKIN!'

Dammit Itachi! Warn a girl… guy, WHATEVER when you are going to enter a bath with just a towel on!

I fling myself about ten feet away from the Uchiha as he begins to enter the water and I smack my hand over my visible eye. My poor virgin eyes were not ready to see Uchiha torso!

Yes I said torso, I ain't planning on looking anywhere else anytime soon!

"... You are a strange person."

"Next time warn someone when you enter a hot spring, un!"

"It's a hot spring… did you expect me to sit by the water fully clothed?"

"No! I mean.. yes…? I mean… STOP CONFUSING ME, UN!"

"... You are acting like this is your first time being in one of these…"

"..."

"Ah. Makes sense."

"Shut up… I'm body shy okay, un?"

I kept my eyes shut until I was certain Itachi was settled in the water. Taking a peek I am eternally grateful that the steam makes my face naturally red, as I am pretty sure I am blushing while staring at Itachi.

He didn't seem to notice I am one step away from a nosebleed, "You are rather difficult to capture. Our leader wants you alive, but you are never alone or you were using that molecular jutsu of yours."

Finally feeling comfortable in my own skin again, I sit up straighter. Damn it, he is still taller than me. "Glad to know I'm so popular. I still don't plan on joining, un."

"Yes, the colors clash with your hair… un." He has the nerve to smirk after the "un".

I splash Itachi with water.

"Damnit, I get enough of that crap from your brother, I can't help my speech impediment, un!"

He chuckles, kinda odd seeing him so relaxed, "My apologizes, you make it too easy."

I splash him with water again.

"Besides, I didn't mean to say that, I just needed something weird to say so I could get away from you guys…" I decide to give a hint, "In another timeline, I would have joined, un."

"What do you mean?" He finally looks over at me. Yes, victory, I have his full attention.

"It's not Pein that wants you guys to bring me in, it's the Masked Man, the one you call Madara... When you use your Tsukuyomi," He tenses up, "... Would you have access to my memories, un?"

"... Yes, if they are willingly given.*"

Thought so, he would never invade other's privacy. "Then activate the genjutsu please, I don't truly believe you are Itachi and I want to avoid eavesdropping. My memories are yours, un."

I look into a pair of red eyes and I get trapped in Itachi's domain.

Many cutscenes, manga chapters, and accidental viewings later

That went well. At least he didn't encounter too many disturbing memories.

"You're reincarnated..?" Itachi gets out of the water with me, as we were both in the springs a little too long.

"Basically, un." I pat myself dry with my towel and slip on my clothes again. Ugh… I'm getting black spots in my visions. That's not goo- heeeeyyy the floor is getting closer!

"Deidara?"

I blacked out.


Hi time skips! Missed you!


Sometime later I woke up in the room I had checked into, snuggled in a futon. Sitting up something silky slipped off my front and landed on my lap.

It was an… Akatsuki coat?

"The fuck…?" I poked at the article of clothing draped over my legs, as if expecting it to come to life. It took seconds for panic to wave over me. The coat? Shitshitshitshit! Please don't let the last five years be a dream! I did not join the Akatsu-

"Calm down Deidara… that's mine."

I whipped my head in the direction of Itachi's voice. The Uchiha prodigy is sitting at a table eating some dango and drinking green tea without his coat on. He looked somewhat amused at my mental breakdown. Haha… jerk… you're too pretty and sweet to be mad at.

… I open my mouth to question if he is the real Itachi.

"Your first… 'episode' of this world was watching Sasori fight that Sakura girl, your friend had to spend 5 minutes explaining how his body was a puppet."

Okay, he's the real Itachi. Also Sasori vs Sakura is the worst episode to start with.

I relaxed my body as I look up at the ceiling, "What happened…?"

"Your body gave out due to chakra exhaustion. I brought you here so you could rest."

"Sorry…"

"You have no reason to apologize. I woke you up early. But I can now understand why you reacted in such a violent fashion to me entering the springs." He then goes quiet.

"... Uh… Itachi?"

He looks at me through his bangs, "So… my plans for Sasuke fail…?"

I swallow, here comes the train wreck, "Y… yeah… it fails up until the war… He would have killed Danzo had I not..."

"And that man...isn't Madara."

"..." Oh dear...

I could feel Itachi getting pissed, and I mean pissed. I shouldn't have shown him Tobi unmasked. I froze on the spot as a million thoughts were swirling in his head like a whirlpool. I needed to break this tension.

'Think of something random, think of something! OH!'

"Fun fact! Madara can't pee when someone stands behind him!" Why did I say that?

Itachi seemed to be questioning the same thing.

My palm met my forehead, "Sorry… you're a little scary when angry, un."

He regains his composure and runs a hand through his hair. While he processed his thoughts, my own mind was reminded of the things I had seen. It mostly consisted of the anime and manga, which I will need to update my Notebook of Doom (AN: Thanks Guest33!) as I missed some details.

But the rest we saw were some of my own memories. Small snippets that held strong to me, morning hugs from my friends, waking up to find my cat snuggled by me or just sitting with my best friend squealing our little hearts out over cute things, or from looking at hot anime guys… you know, girl stuff.

Which was all cut short. Three days after my fucking birthday.

I hear myself inhale deeply as tears leak down my face. "Damnit…" Not in front of Itachi, my pride wanted me to resist crying, to suck it up and move on.

My brain then decided to be an asshole and replay my high school graduation.

My body curled up into itself and I broke down. I buried my face into my knees and wailed as I involuntarily revisited every aspect of my life that I missed. Almost as if it was the first day of being reborn my skin didn't feel like my own, it was tight and suffocating. I haven't cried in years, but here I am, letting all of my stress out in front of the person I admire the most.

I hear someone walk over to me, and then put a hand on my shoulder.

I don't care who it is, I grab their shirt and cried into their shoulder. The person didn't seem to care as they just sat as still as possible, resting a hand on my head.

It takes me a few moments to calm down and the person has me drink some tea and to lay back down, as I was close to fainting again. I look at the person, which of course was Itachi, I motion for him to ask away as I snuggle into the warm covers.

"What is your next plan?"

"...I need to change Sasuke's mind about you. He trusts me, and if I can convince him to at the very least talk to you. Then… well... it's all up to what you say, un."

He pauses at me, "You want me to tell him the truth?"

"Would you rather I do, un?"

He doesn't respond to that.

"Itachi…Talk to your otouto, un. I will tell him a little about the truth, but the rest is up to you."

"..." He lowers his head, fists clench.

"I plan on having Tsunade heal you if that's one of your worries." I could feel his disbelief. "I won't let you die. Just… please, try." I whistle and my chocobo enters the room and spits out the container, thankfully because it's clay there was no mucus, "Here. You spoke with me, you now know the truth,this is my end of the bargain, un."

He shakes his head, "You keep it, you may find a better use than I will."

"Itachi, I have no intentions of having the sharingan, I don't want the sharingan, and I especially can't use THIS sharingan, un."

The weasel had the nerve to try to protest again. I will not lose this argument!

"Weasel-kun, take your best friend's goddamn eye before I shove the thing in your eye socket, un." I all but throw the container into his hands. Which he catches despite my angle making the throw off.

"... Shisui…" The amount of love in Itachi's gaze while looking at the eye was both endearing… and disturbing, it's an eyeball.

He then looked back at me, "Why… why are you doing all this for Sasuke and me?"

I bite my lower lip as I hold back a laugh, "It's not obvious, un?" He looks confused. "You've seen my memories. You should know I'm not doing this for Sasuke, un. Getting him to appreciate true art," damn, I sound like the original Deidara, "was just an added bonus."

He quietly goes back to looking at the eye. I guess he understood my hidden meaning.

I just take in this sight, Itachi looks like a man who has been beaten down, got back up, only to be tossed down again. Like a human phoenix, never staying defeated, even when facing death.

Maybe that's why I have kept a strong attachment to him.

"You deserve a better life Itachi." I slowly stand back up and stretch, "Feel free to follow the timeline up until after your first attempts to capturing Naruto. Keep the Akatsuki on their toes. I'll be there to mess with things, un. Oh, don't worry about Sasuke, he won't get the curse mark, I'll take the bite for him if I have to. Maternal instincts and all."

I head outside and create a clay bird.

"And thank you, for… literally everything, un." I hop onto the bird and fly to Konoha.

Third person POV

Sometime later Kisame found his younger partner sitting in his room at the Akatsuki hideout, staring at a container with an eye in it. But that wasn't the weird part.

Itachi was smiling. Not a big one, but it was noticeable.

"Ne… Itachi-san? You okay?"

Itachi quickly morphed his face back to being passive, "Hn… I just had a nice conversation with someone."

Kisame grinned and bared his shark teeth in a teasing manner, "Oooooh? A girl?"

"... Yes." At least mentality wise. "She… cried."

And now the shark man is deadpanned, "Itachi-san, that is not a 'nice conversation'"

"Hn, you wouldn't get it."

"No I guess not, come on, leader has a mission for us."

The Uchiha nods and pockets the container, heading out with Kisame. He just has to wait a few more months, and he'll see his otouto again.


So Deidara and Itachi finally meet again! Five years in the making and it turns into… well hot springs make everything awkward. I was originally going to make the scene a crap ton more serious than planned but I felt that this would present a more casual relationship forming between the two. Deidara was bound to break down at some point missing his old life, so using Tsukuyomi would be a nice way to push the moment.

*I am going with what the majority of information places + the hints from the light novel suggests that Itachi's files were messed with so he could be an ANBU. Based on other character's timelines (like Oro), Itachi killed the clan at around 11 or 12 in this fanfiction.

*Itachi was able to use Tsukuyomi to give Izumi a whole life, killing her peacefully (in the novel that is). And since he has can control time and space in the genjutsu, I thought it would be cool if he could access memories, but only if the person gives them willingly.

Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, reviews are loved and next chapter will have some flashbacks and some Sasuke moments!

Bye guys! :D