This chapter was fun to write, I'm not the best at fight scenes, but I hope this was okay for you guys!

Thank you so much for the fave, follows and reviews! They're fun to see and read!

bookdragonslayer: Yeah it's pretty adorable, Deidara is gonna be annoyed though. XD

Tawnypelt37: She appreciates the feedback, thank you so much!

Guest: Thank you so much for all of the reviews hun, I'm glad you are enjoying the story. To answer your question on why I did not have the fox explode was simply because… I didn't want to really, I don't have much of a reason. Deidara only made the fox and chirithy to lessen the suspicion of Sasuke getting his weasel. Konan will get more screentime most likely during shippuden most likely, it's hard juggling so many characters. Also I really do not need that image in my head. - ugh… ew...

ArmCannos34: Expect that phrase to appear often! XD

robatahir03: I'm glad you're enjoying it! Also, here you go! :D

JimmyHall24: I have no idea what this reference is related to, I'm guessing Hellsing? But I never watched that anime, sorry!

Shinobi of the Hidden Leaf: Thank you so much for understanding my views on Karin, yeah fanfictions tend to make most characters that are unlikeable, likeable. I'm happy that you like my inclusion of her though, she won't appear next chapter, but the chapter after that. Also yeah, Dei has a lot of questions he has to answer after the chunin exams.

silverwolf310: There is absolutely no issues with the twins… at least in these fights, you'll see. Crow!Itachi will be showing up soon! XD

Mackenzie Willow: I warned you. XP Kimi is a human porcupine, and he likes to hug too! (Not really but OUCH that would hurt lol)

IsraAl'Attia-Theron: Sweet jesus I love it. XD Hiruzen needs to have a special EVERYTHING for Deidara at this rate. I have never watched Boruto (and I never plan on doing that either) but I heard Karin is a bit less fangirly, and the reason why Boruto is a brat is because Naruto spends most of his time at work. He feels left out… Still don't like the kid.

MelonLordOfMelons: This is my art! And art is an explosion! Lol thanks for the Gai impersonation, made me smile. I'm glad your sister is enjoying the story! :D

"Blah" - Talking

'Blah' - Thinking

Blah - Passage of time

*- Explanation on bottom

Warning: Violence, death, disturbing imagery, swearing, panic attacks, insanity, anger issues. The usual.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, is it really necessary for me to have this be in here 19 chapters in?


You know, the Universe can be an ungrateful ass sometimes. You save some lives from horrific fights that lead to their deaths, only for the Universe to go "HA! You think you stopped a fight? Pfffff here ya go!"

"The first match is... Sakon vs Kankuro!"

Needless to say I busted out in uncontrollable laughter.

Everyone that wasn't Kakashi, Gai, Hiruzen or one of my chibis just stared at me like I've gone insane… with the exception of Orochimaru, who looked intrigued by my reaction. I was laughing so hard I had to lean against Kakashi so I wouldn't collapse.

'Holy shit! I've tried so hard to keep Ukon and Sakon from fighting against Kankuro, and now one of the twins is fighting him!' I finally stopped my laughter. Wiping away my tears I look over to the twins, while everyone was distracted they had separated. No one seemed to notice this.

Hayate coughs, "Would the two participants remain down here, the rest go up the stairs?" He points at the two sets of stairs with another cough. We all head to the same areas as in the anime, I planted myself between my brothers, soothingly running my fingers through their hair as the tension was high enough.

"Give up now if you're not willing to die, kid." Kankuro smirked as he sized up Sakon, obviously thinking he's tough shit.

Sakon… decided to take a different approach, "Nice make-up. Did the monkey that put it on your face have a seizure halfway through?"

I am now tasting blood from biting my fist to hold in my laughter.

Kankuro immediately gets defensive, "It's war paint!" Kankuro tries to attach chakra threads onto his opponent, but Sakon easily dodges.

"Oh! So that's what the losing sides wears! Thanks for the advice, I'll make sure my brother and I avoid it."

Ukon snorts from behind me, "Sakon, enough taunting and end the match."

"With pleasure brother." Sakon easily throws a well places punch on Kankuro's throat, except… he sounded more wooden than fleshy.

"Called it, un." Everyone looks at me oddly, only to focus on Kankuro when his face chipped away, revealing Crow.

Crow nearly grabs Sakon, but the boy dodges it and quickly makes a break towards the real Kankuro.

I may have told the twins on how to dodge puppets. Specifically multiarmed ones that liked hugs.

A sadistic grin forms on my face as Sakon lifts his leg to a beautiful 150 degree, before slamming it down on Kankuro's right forearm, the snap was audible before the screaming.

My chibis like to break things with overdramatic kicks, don't know why.

Hayate observes the match, seeing Crow fall to the ground limply, he coughs into his fist, "Sakon is the winner."

Temari quickly retrieves her brother and puppet as Sakon returns to us, high-fiving Ukon smirking. I would say I'm surprised that he won, but Sakon trains with Neji and Kimimaro, Kankuro only had one puppet, losing is not possible.

My attention focused on the screen as names jumble again, I wonder how this one will go.

"Ukon vs Uchiha Sasuke."

… So much for a dramatic battle. I hear Ukon groan and Sakon facepalming. Every one of us knew how this was gonna go, though thanks to my sensing abilities I can feel Orochimaru's excitement.

… It's Orochimaru, take that into any context you want.

Sasuke and Ukon stand in front of each other on the battlefield. I rest my arms on the metal guard rails, prepared to take a nap if I have to.

"Begin."

No one moved, instead, Sasuke spoke, "On a scale of one to ten, how likely can you beat me?"

"Without Sakon? Zero."

"Hn…" Sasuke folds his arms, "So do you really want to fight me?" There was a quick pause as Ukon began weighing his options.

Ukon shakes his head, "Nope, I'm gonna help my brother for the second round, I give up!" With that, the older twin walked up the wall and back to his brother.

I hear a collection of facepalms, but I was focused on Orochimaru, snapping pictures from my scope.

He looked like a kid whose parents gave them a cellphone box for Christmas, only to open it and it's full of underwear. Pure disappointment. 'That's a keeper!'

Sasuke returns to us and messes with his clay, he didn't seem to care about people looking at him with disappointment. All he cared about right now was that his sculpture had an air bubble. I quickly learned towards him to fix the bubble without ruining the overall shape.

I looked at Naruto, he didn't seem to mind, as it meant he got to fight sooner. In fact when I motioned my head towards Sasuke, he just shrugged.

"The next match, Yamanaka Ino vs Haruno Sakura." My head snaps towards the girls, they had left to use the restroom when Sasuke's fight started, both knowing that the fight would be uneventful.

I hear Ino's nail on chalkboard voice call out to Sakura, "Better give up now, Forehead!"

"Kick her ass, un." I nudge Sakura off to fight Ino, but not before removing her chirithy and turning it back into a lifeless mini sculpture, same with Naruto's fox and Kimi's dragon. They served their purpose in the forest and I doubt I'll need them again.

… Hopefully.

The two girls stood against each other, but instead of fighting, they just started talking. It's probably better this way, Sakura would flatten Ino in a heartbeat.

Ino gives Sakura a confident smirk, "Don't get so full of yourself, you're forehead can't take much more of your ego." I once again find myself slumped against the guardrail, this is why I refused to train Ino, she can't get rid of her inflated ego to save her life up until this fight.

Sakura sighs and places her hands on her hips, slowly shaking her bowed head in disappointment, "Ino… would you please stop taunting me with words? It'll only make me feel less bad when I win."

Ino growls and points at Sakura, "Just because you're teammates with Sasuke-kun, doesn't mean you have a better chance!"

Sakura deadpans, "I stopped chasing Sasuke-kun after I was beaten to a pulp for letting my crush get in the way of my training." As if to prove her point, she gently tucks her short hair behind her ear, mindful of the senbons.

Ino snorts, wow she really is a pig, "HA! Give me three good reasons why YOU of all people would give up on Sasuke-kun? You even cut your hair as well!"

Sakura lists of each reason on her finger, "Well, 1. I have a goal to become a medical kunoichi. 2. Sasuke-kun is just not worth it. And 3. Deidara-sensei won't let me date until I'm 16." Good girl.

"Deidara-sensei this , Deidara-sensei that. Why is he allowed to have his hair long then?" Ooooohhh I think Ino is going to cut her hair and it's gonna be all my fault. Yes!

"Because if a shinobi can fight with long hair and not have it be grabbed, then it is okay.

Ino, at your skill level… If I'm able to grab your ponytail, you'll lose." Sakura tilts her head to the side as Ino's face turns red with rage. "Face it Ino, you focused too much on your appearance, I've been training since before I was a genin."

The blonde pulls out a kunai, and without warning cuts off her hair. I could feel several of the guys tense up, even I subconsciously began touching my honey locks; I don't even wanna know what would I do if I cut my own hair. Though my hair does need a few inches cut off, it's getting too long and it's not even shippuden yet.

"See?! I DON'T NEED THIS TO BEAT YOU!" Ino dramatically throws her hair at Sakura. Oh dear, it's that part of the fight.

Just as Sakura tries to move to throw a kunai, the chakra in Ino's hair wraps around her ankles, leaving her immobile. Ino smirked and uses her mind transfer jutsu, she collapses and Sakura's face turns cocky and arrogant.

"Sorry Sakura, guess I win." Hearing Ino's tone but in Sakura's body was weird, I felt my back straighten as Kakashi gives Naruto the exposition-no-jutsu due to my brother being confused about the whole thing.

Ino has Sakura's arm slowly raise in the air, and my entire body turns cold.

"Sakura."

Sakura's body turns stiff the moment I spoke, in fact, everyone stopped moving. My voice was like dry ice being dragged across flesh and I could only imagine my expression based on how Temari, who was across the room, looked at me with a terrified expression.

"Wh… what the…? This body won't move!" Ino tries making Sakura's body shift, but it remained still, looking directly at me. Ino twists the face in terror as she looked at me.

"I have trained you for all these years, and if you cannot break such a pathetic excuse for a jutsu… consider yourself no longer my student." I held back the un, folding my arms as I glowered at the pinkette.

It was silent for a solid minute, Hayate slowly spoke, worried of what I may do, "Did you plan on giving u-" He was caught off when Sakura's body collapses to her knees, clutching her head.

"What… Sakura… how…?" Sakura's body flinches as an inner turmoil rolled through her, soon Ino's body regains consciousness and Sakura was in control of her body once again.

"Sorry Deidara-sensei! Won't happen again!" Sakura waves to me frantically before weaving hand signs. I feel my body warm up and my expression soften.

"That's my girl, un." I feel the room relax as my aura dropped.

Without warning, Sakura began using earth jutsu after earth jutsu. Ino was basically being juggled in the air, yelling in pain as Sakura mercilessly beat down her former friend.

Sakura only stopped when Ino was too weak to get back up.

Ino looked at Sakura wide eyed, "How… How are you so strong?"

Sakura kneels by Ino, and gently brushes some hair from the blonde's face, smiling softly, "I gave up on what ruined our friendship." She helps Ino back to the teams, Ino stared at her in deep thought.

Hopefully those two can become friends again.

Now it was time for the fourth match. Maybe it's because how the Japanese view the number four*, but I think someone is going to die in this round.

"Aburame Shino vs Misumi." I hear Naruto whine next to me, as he wanted to fight. I'm grateful he's not.

Shino stared at his opponent… Oh! The rubber man! That's his name?! Doesn't he die when fighting Kankuro, I blank out on that fight a lot.

Shino begins his warning, "Unless you wish to die… I suggest you give up now." Why does everyone have to either make threats or give out warnings?

Misumi scoffs and charges at Shino, apparently choosing to ignore the quiet kid. Once he was close enough to Shino, he wrapped his body around the boy in an attempt to choke him. I decided to pop in some commentary.

"Hey Misumi! You sure you're a Konoha shinobi? You seemed to have forgotten what the Aburame clan's jutsu is, un!"

That seemed to have triggered the next chain of events.

Within seconds hundreds of kikaichu crawl around the man as he flings himself off of Shino screaming. The insects quickly get to work in sucking up all of his chakra as more and more of them leave Shino to join in the feast.

I had to run to the restrooms to vomit, I sense Kimimaro standing behind me to hold my hair back. Kami, I can still hear the guy screaming. By the time I was done and had washed my mouth out with lots of minty mouthwash, Misumi laid dead on the ground and Shino declared the winner.

Knew the fourth round would kill someone!

I sit down, pressing my face against the bars exhausted as the screen went back to jumbling names. Oh, this fight should be interesting...

"Hyuuga Hinata vs Abumi Zaku."

Honestly, I'm glad she's not fighting Neji, there wouldn't be anything to gain from it. Neji and Hinata are practically siblings with how close they are now, I smiled slightly when he wished his cousin good luck.

"YOU CAN DO IT HINATA, DATTEBAYO!" We all winced when Naruto shouted at Hinata, I think she appreciates the support sweetie, but is the yelling necessary?

Hayate starts the match, but Zaku decides to be a little bitch… every match seems to have one.

"Don't expect me to go easy on you because you're a girl-" Oh hell no, he did not just try to make a sexist comment on MY cinnamon roll!

"Kick his ass please Hinata-chan, un." Zaku gives me an aggravated look and he has to quickly dodge Hinata using gentle fists.

Hinata activates her byakugan and quickly focuses on Zaku's arms. Sure, one was broken but that doesn't eliminate the risks that are currently present.

"What the hell is with these Konoha shinobi?!" Zaku finally got the chance to shoot air from the tube in his arm, but Hinata just focuses chakra into her feet and held her ground. "I thought you guys are genin, but everyone is freakishly strong!"

"They are genin you dumbass, but so far minus Aburame-kun, and Yamanaka-chan, these are MY genin, un." I allowed a satisfying smirk to plaster on my face as Zaku gives me a hardened glare. While distracted, Hinata gives two solid jabs to both of his arms.

Zaku didn't seem to think any of it, forcing his broken arm to aim at Hinata and prepared a wind. I decided to give one last comment to a boy who will be sacrificed to edo tensei.

"You lost the moment you allowed me to be a distraction, un." Zaku's arms blew off their sockets from the tubes being closed off due to the jabs and he collapses unconscious. (AN: Check out Zaku's fight against Shino in the manga, I am not kidding when I say his arms literally blew off.)

As the medical shinobi take Zaku and his arms away, Naruto looks at me, "Wasn't that cheating dattebayo?"

I calmly shake my head, "A true shinobi can ignore distractions and focus on the task at hand. Hinata-chan focused on her opponent while Zaku was distracted by me, his lack of focus is what made him lose, un." Naruto thinks for a moment before nodding, understanding my reasoning. I decided to leave out the factor that in the world of shinobi… there really are no rules, so you can't cheat.

When Hinata returned to us she was immediately hugged by Naruto and Sakura, Neji stood by and gave her a proud smile.

"You did wonderful Hinata!"

"Yeah! We have to spar again Hinata, dattebayo!"

Hinata blushes and nods, "Thank you both… I had fun!" She beams a bright smile at her two friends before returning to her teammates, who also congratulated her.

I was so distracted by Hinata that I barely missed Hayate calling out the next names.

"Nara Shikamaru vs Tsuchi Kin!"

Well… guess something that to stay the same. I wonder how the fight will go… oh hey! She's still using her genjutsu! I wonder if-

BONK

… Yep… just like in the anime. As anticlimactic as before.

No special commentary to add, moving along, please hurry, the blond next to me has way too much energy.

"Temari vs Tenten."

"You can do it dood!"

I nearly break the guard rail in front of me from gripping it so hard, I forgot she still has that fucking penguin!

Nothing special about this fight either, Tenten got her ass handed to her by Temari and the Prinny stayed with us, not being much support. To be honest I was rooting for Temari anyway, I want her to be in the next round… hopefully fighting against Shikamaru.

Rock Lee collects Tenten and sets her down by the Prinny, who pats her shoulder in comfort, "There's always next year, don't lose hope dood."

I proceed to ignore them waiting to see who fights next.

"Yoroi vs Hyuuga Neji." I turn my attention to Neji, who has been quietly making comments with Kimimaro.

Kimi gives Neji a gentle smile and pats his shoulder in wishing him good luck. It was rather adorable actually, I can see the two of them getting together one day. I feel a smile form on my lips at the thought.

The moment the match began Neji started his dance, okay I know it's just his gentle fist style, but his moments were like a dancer. Each step was done meaningfully with nothing but grace, Yoroi just kept trying to grab him. It was like an orc trying to grab an elf, there was an obvious difference in dexterity. (AN:I've been playing a lot of D&D with my club. Had to make the reference.)

I felt Kimi tense up next to me and my body did the same, we just noticed that Yoroi was trying to keep his distance, and is aiming for the Hyuuga's long hair. The same thought waved through both mine, my brother's and most likely Neji's heads.

'Don't touch the hair.'

Neji, seemingly offended that his beautiful locks were in danger of being grabbed, quickly aimed for the chakra point on Yoroi's heart and took several jabs. The man falls to the ground as his body spazzes in a cardiac arrest.

He died before the medics could get to him.

We both sigh and Kimi instantly begins checking his best friend over, despite Neji not getting a scratch the entire fight. I quickly snap a photo when I notice Neji's cheeks turning a faint pink from Kimi going all mother hen on him. They are just too cute together!

"The next match… Kinuta Dosu vs Akimichi Choji."

I then left the room to get a drink. By the time I came back, Dosu had won.

I nearly choke on my juice with how much energy was radiating from Naruto, Kiba and Lee. I snap my head at Hiruzen, 'Who's bright idea was it to make the three loudest and most hyper boys in the room wait almost an hour- holy shit it's only been an hour?!' This time I actually began choking, Kimimaro had to pat my back so I could breath.

I lock eyes with a clock from across the room, zooming in on the numbers from my scope, the fights have only lasted an hour and fifteen minutes. 'The anime really did stretch these fights out huh? Granted it was full of flashbacks and exposition…'

I jolt violently hearing Kiba and Naruto howling with excitement and Lee groaning in disappointment. Guess I know who is fighting who now.

"Prepare to get your ass kicked you loser!"

"Who are you calling a loser dog breath, dattebayo?!"

Ladies... ladies, you're both pretty, now go on with the fight.

While the two started beating the ever living shit out of each other like a couple of children fighting over the last cookie, my mind began to wonder. 'Kimimaro, Gaara, Lee and Kabuto… four people, two more matches. I don't like any of the combinations… The best case scenario is Lee fights Kimimaro and then Gaara kills Kabuto. That would save a bunch of headaches later on with the war. The worst case senari-'

Tooooooooooooot

I facepalm as Kiba begins yelling in disgust. Right, forgot Naruto technically wins by farting. I look over to see my brother beat down Kiba and is proclaimed the winner.

When Naruto returns to us I gently kiss his cheek, "You did well Naruto, un."

He gives me a cheeky grin rubbing his nose, "Well I'm gonna be Hokage one day! So this had to be easy dattebayo!" I'm just glad this was one thing that stayed the same.

"Sabaku No Gaara vs Rock Lee."

THAT I am not happy stayed the same!

Panic overflowed me as I met eyes with Kakashi and Gai, one look from me was all it took for the jounins to understand that something bad was going to happen. Before any of us could warn Lee, he was already fighting Gaara. I notice Sasuke actually started to pay attention to this fight.

My eye kept looking around at everyone, various expressions on each person's face. I had to keep my eye away from the match, stress overwhelmed my body to the point where I found myself bending the bars in front of me.

Lee dropped his weights… he punched Gaara in the face… he's using primary lotus… Gaara's bloodlust is growing and is on the offence.

'Stop the match… someone step in!' Neither Lee nor Gaara were under my responsibility. I had no plausible reason to stop this fight, not without making Gaara go ballistic.

I watch as Gaara's sand wrap itself around Lee's arm and leg, his hand clench into a fist and Lee screaming in pain. I lose my cool as Gaara go after Lee again.

"GAI!" This snapped the jounin from his shock and faster than I could blink, stopped the sand with a single swipe. Without hesitation I was by Lee's side checking his vitals as the medics come rushing out.

"Why… why would you protect a weakling like him…?" I wince at Gaara's confused but angry voice.

"Because… he is my precious student." Gai never broke eye contact with Gaara. Gai turn towards his student, only to see Lee trying to stand. Realizing that the boy was unconscious, standing with only the will to fight, he gently wraps his arms around Lee's frame and cries quietly.

The medics take Lee away and Gai returned to his team after watching Lee leave and I walk to Gaara, my mind replays the only time this body interacted with Gaara in the anime and manga… when Gaara was forced to die for the Akatsuki.

"Are you injured Gaara-kun…?" The boy stares at me like I've gone nuts, in fact most of the people here are doing that. I roll my eye, "Stop giving me that look, un."

"Why… are you even asking that? If this is a trick…"

"You'll kill me? Good luck with that honey, un." I ruffle his hair, that made Temari and Kankuro flip out, Gaara's sand completely ignored me!

Must be my brotherly and/or motherly aura, this seems to be a running trend, that or his mother controlling his sand understood I meant no harm*.

As I returned up the stairs, Kimimaro went down causing me to stop midstep. The last battle…

I turn my head to look at the nearly destroyed area, Kabuto was giving my brother a friendly smile that screamed bullshit. Kimimaro was simply pulling out his boneblade from his shoulders.

By the time I returned to my spot the two were attacking.

Kimimaro's body gracefully twisted and twirled as he attempted to swipe and jab at Kabuto. The older male used tactical movements and seemed to be waiting for an opening, but whenever there was an opening Kimi would just have a bone stick out to stop the attack.

Sneaking a glance at Orochimaru, I could tell he was pleased with what he was seeing.

So far, it looked like Kimimaro was going to win. I allowed my body to relax with a sigh as Kabuto slowly began to be pushed into a corner because he can't show his true strength.

And then Kimimaro coughed up blood.

It was as if a switch was flipped, Kimimaro's movements started to become sloppy as more and more blood escaped past his lips. Kabuto noticed this, and used this opening to land a few powerful blows to my brother.

My body began to shake watching someone dear to me become hurt, "... Stop the match, un…" People started looking at me, Kimimaro began pushing himself more. "STOP THE MATCH, UN!"

Hayate coughs, "The rules state-"

"Fuck the rules! Stop the match! NOW!" I find myself being held back by Kakashi, Asuma, Kurenai and Gai as I struggled to throw off the four adults. "Kimimaro! Stop fighting!" I could feel my feet slowly drag the five of us towards the guard rail as I tried pulling myself away.

Kimi looks at me for a moment, before returning to Kabuto, "Forgive me," He coughs again, "Nii-sama is distressed. I must end this."

Without warning Kimimaro allowed multiple bones to stick out of his body, twirling around Kabuto cutting the man up while he tried blocking 15 bones at once. There was blood with each step Kimi took, but he didn't stop until Kabuto was flat on his back, arms out in surrender.

When Hayate announced Kimi the winner the other jounins released me from their hold, but I was like a coiled spring ready to leap into action. Kabuto slowly got up and gave Kimi a smile, reaching out to pat his shoulder in congrats. It didn't take much sensing skills to notice the faint glow of a chakra scalpel, but no one else seemed to notice.

The next thing anyone knows, I had Kabuto pinned to the wall on the opposite end of the room. One hand pinned his wrists above his head, the palm-mouth clamping down on his skin practically ripping away flesh, and my other arm pressing against his throat. I'm breathing heavily and the reflection of his glasses shows a face of pure rage, something I rarely have.

I don't even remember moving.

Every ounce of my body wanted to kill this smug asshole right here and now. I could feel Hiruzen signaling the jounins to stay put, which kept the genin at bay. Orochimaru was right above us, watching with interest.

"You finally show your true colors Deidara…" Kabuto's voice was as smug as ever, keeping his tone low so no one but me can hear.

'He knew… he knew I would act this way…' I felt sick realizing that I played into his hands. No way in heaven or hell would I keep giving him the satisfaction of knowing what makes me tick.

With a single breath, I relax everything but the hand holding his wrists. I watch with amusement as his face twists with confusion, as I allow a gentle smile and kind eyes to show. I gently remove my arm from his throat, and have the hand to brush his hair from his face, trail down his head and rest by his ear. I allow the hand to rest there for a moment, as if admiring the appendage.

Gently cupping his ear, I lean in close, giving off a breathless chuckle I whisper, "You don't seem to understand something, Kabuto… I may have lost my temper… but you miscalculated on how I do things…"

Kabuto's eyes widen at the feminine sounding tone in my voice, as my voice is usually deep and masculine. "I can't keep you or Orochimaru away from Naruto and Sasuke, but I can promise you this… if either of you lay a finger on Kimimaro, I will wipe your existences away like I did Danzo. Piece… by… piece, un."

The man tenses up, "So it was you that killed Danzo…"

"Indeed… Do be careful of your glasses, a mother's gift should always be treasured, un." With that I leave the baffled man.

Kabuto quickly regains his composure, pushing his glasses up, he turns towards everyone and waves with his iconic "I'm a genin too!" smile, "Sorry about that guys! We had a misunderstanding!" I can tell only half of the room bought that lie.

While he went to go heal himself I took Kimimaro away to the hospital before anyone could question me. Sending him to the emergency room, I summon his clay dragon, increasing the size to where it took up a large portion of the room.

"Kill anyone that is not a hospital staff or is a scent you know is non hostile, un." With it nodding at me, I go have ramen.

I don't even know who is fighting against who.

About an hour later

After three bowls of aggressively eaten ramen Naruto locates me, the blond is being tailed by everyone's favorite pervy sage!

"Deidara-nii! I found a better teacher, one that's actually stronger than that closet pervert Ebisu! He's weak, dattebayo!" I then bonk Naruto on the head, "Owwwww Deidara-nii!"

"Mind your manners Naruto, Ebisu is still a jounin and deserves the respect that comes with it, un." I politely bow to Jiraiya, my heart clenching up as his death had a powerful impact on how I view anime as a whole. "It is a pleasure to meet you Jiraiya-sama."

Jiraiya gives me an approving smirk as he looked me up and down… watch it pal, I may respect you but I am physically male here. "You know who I am?"

I try to avoid growing a tic mark as I nod, "Of course, the great Toad Sage and author of one of my favorite books. May I have your autograph, un?" I pull out my book from my pouch. Naruto is watching the exchange with confusion, and with minor annoyance as he was being ignored.

Jiraiya closes his eyes as he accepts my book, pulling out his pen, "Of course! Anything for a fan of my famous Icha- oh…" He had opened his eyes mid-sentence to look at the worn cover of my The Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi, "You've… read this book?"

"At least once a year, I find it more beautifully written then your.., other books… and… well…" I give Naruto a sideways glance then look at the older man with a small smirk, "The main character holds some importance to me, un."

Jiraiya's eyes widen in understanding, his face quickly morphs, giving me a "we'll talk later" look before signing the book for me then turning to Naruto, "Come on kid, let's get training."

"Alright! About time, dattebayo!" Naruto quickly hugs me, "Bye Deidara-nii!" And then runs off, Jiraiya slowly trailing behind him.

I pay for my ramen and quickly finish up any tasks that was left unattended to for the past five days, like laundry.

The following night

I sat on the roof of the hospital, right above Kimimaro's room when Ebisu appeared before me.

"I apologize Deidara-san, I was unable to train Naruto, but on the bright side he is being trained by-"

"The Legendary Sannin Jiraiya, trained by the third Hokage and was the sensei of the fourth Hokage, un." Ebisu gives me a peeved look, but sighs and pushes his glasses against his face to calm down.

"Yes, that is correct."

I nod, "It's fine, he needs to be trained by someone that can give him a push in the right direction. Is there any other reason why you are here, un?" I tilt my head in confusion when he hands me a scroll with the symbol for an S-rank mission.

"Hokage-sama believes you are the one who can finish this mission the fastest and cause the least amount of damage in the process."

I open the scroll and read its content, a smirk pulls on my mouth. Perfect, just what I wanted.

It was an assassination mission, no bodies required and everyone must be dead.

Giving my fellow jounin a nod before going into Kimi's room, I give my sleeping brother a kiss on his forehead and a promise to be back soon. I pack what I needed for this mission plus a little extra, and left konoha to prepare for the next steps in my plans.

I can only wish that luck is on my side.


Longer fight scenes were a bit more serious, while the shorter chapters… they were fun. Most of the fights that stayed the same I honestly had no reason to type them out, they're all over youtube and the internet for you guys to view. Just add some of Dei's commentary and you're golden! :D

Also, I'm really really REALLY excited for the next chapter! I have been working on this chapter for weeks (Not kidding, I started it in the middle of October) now as more and more ideas pooled into my brain, and I just had fun with it! I literally do not care if anyone has an issue with that chapter, I love it to pieces and it makes me happy, so I am gonna keep it! Ooooooh I'm so excited! X3 (P.S. I actually broke my beta's mind with it) It's more cracky than my usual chapters, but that's what made it so much fun. I need to change some details so it flows with the story, so it will be posted on Saturday, I need to have a break on Thanksgiving anyway.

My friend is still looking for feedback on the cover art for the fic, it would be greatly appreciated if you lovelies share your thoughts on it! :D

*Japan has two words for four, and the word shi also means death if you change the kanji, so in Japan they associate the word for four with death. It's kinda the same reason why we Americans view 13 as an unlucky number.

*It was confirmed (I think) that Gaara's mother is the one that protects him with the sand even before the Shukaku extractions, I may be wrong on that but I'm having that be this fic's canon because I think it's adorable. :3

As per usual, reviews are loved, I hope you guys have a fabulous Thanksgiving if you celebrate it, and I will see you Saturday!

Bye!