Hey everyone! Hope you all had a nice holiday, I know I did! As a result I ended up writing… well, this. It's way longer than usual, but so much was said and done in this chapter that I could not ignore… also Yagura… I added Yagura into this. This chapter explains a lot about Deidara and has a one time appearance from a very important person. This was suppose to be posted on Saturday... but I decided to post it a day early! Enjoy!
Thank you all for the fave, follows and reviews, I love all of the support you guys give me and help with the motivation for this fic.
VenaHope: I will have Madara and Anko's reactions + a few other characters to Itachi and Dei's relationship in the next couple of chapters. I have a feeling they will be fun. :3
crazby: Hope you had a nice Christmas! Keeping Naruto in the dark would have been hard, with Kimimaro being an overprotective brother and all. But just wait until he learns a few… interesting things in shippuden.
cassianaswindell123: Surrogate mom is the correct guess, specifically gestational surrogacy. The beauty of jutsus and science, anything is possible! Any other details I will keep in the dark until it is time to mention it (meaning, in the next few chapters) :D
MelonLordOfMelons: I will have to make a scene where everyone prepares a date for them. Doubt the two love birds would go on a date on their own at first anyway. I can imagine everyone plans it and they have to distract Kimimaro so he doesn't lose his shit. XD Also no clay baby, that would be freaky, the Prinny already scares me and my beta.
IsraAl'Attia-Theron: This made me laugh lol. Madara in all honesty would most likely handle the whole thing in a more mature fashion… until the hickeys start popping up, THEN he's gonna have some issues. Don't worry about reviewing or not hun, make sure you get plenty of rest before you do anything else. :3
ladybug002: I'm glad you liked it!
Yurei Hanatsuki: Happy Holidays! Oddly I think Shino had more screen time than Yagura the entire anime, yet Yagura had one of the biggest impacts to the anime with the whole Bloody Mist fiasco. Weird how that turns out.
Zeuseus: Yay! I'm glad you like my version of yaoi, I tend to keep things as realistic as possible, so nothing is going to jump to lovey dovey right away.
ArmCannos34: YES! IT HAS BEEN SAILED! FINALLY! Do you know how hard it was to make the slow progression to that point?! It was like reading Inuyasha knowing that they would be married by the end! Just pure torture! X-X
RoofSCat: Hope you had a nice Christmas! Yeah, I could never find an SI!Deidara before… so I made this. I will keep my lips sealed on Sasori, unless it's a guess I do not speak of any spoilers. And even if you did guess I would only answer it in a PM if you got it right. Gotta keep you lovelies on your toes! :P
himekuroyuki853: I don't tend to enjoy keeping to one type of trend for so long, even serious moments have humor and vice versa. It keeps the story more engaging if you ask me. But sometimes I have to break my own rules for the sake of the plot. Like in this chapter.
silverwolf310: Not sure what to do with the twins actually in terms of romance, they were someone that was not originally planned to be in this story at first. But regarding Sai, he will show up after the Kazekage rescue arc like in the anime. Not even Deidara has had the chance to meet him because of Sai's ANBU status keeping him busy.
avaiaal: Sleep is important hun! But I am happy you like my story enough to read it! :D
UseFistNotMouth: I'm gonna be honest with you, I thought about what you said with Itachi having hickies and I nearly fell over laughing. Deidara will have fun leaving his marks if you know what I mean. ;) Also Naruto Pairings are weird in general, have you tried exploring the crack pairing section? It's a complete mess.
HitGamer22: Happy belated birthday! Glad that I had some decent timing! :D
Pr1nc3ss K3nny: Okay, hun, stop changing your dang username, this is the third one already. XD And Karin x Sakura…? No… oh Kami no. Nope. Nope nope nope nope. Do not like the images that gives me. X_x I still don't like either girl and this does not make a good combo. Karin and Sakura will have different love interests definitely.
Shinobi of the Hidden Leaf: I was looking up fan theories for Itachi and a lot of them pointed to lung cancer because of all the blood and his symptoms. This was one of my favorite chapters to write, besides the Madara and hot springs ones of course. I just had fun making it a big pile of cheese! I have already confirmed that NaruHina was a thing a LOOOONNNNGGGG time ago, I just have not said who Sasuke will be with because… well mostly because I can. Also nope, that is not how the kid will be brought into the world. Deidara is keeping the kid far away from he labs as he possibly can.
bookdragonslayer: I'm glad that you like the idea of KimiNeji, I thought the pairing would be cute.
Love Stories00: I already answered these, but no, Dei will remain a male permanently, but gender swapping for a period of time is planned. And no, there are no other people like the SI. You have a nice day too! :D
Maxine: I wish you good luck in writing your own fic! Write something that YOU want to read, not what is popular at the time. Like my story, I wrote it BECAUSE I wanted an SI!Deidara fic and I put my heart and soul into making this. So have fun with it! :) Also yes, it is a running gag that Sasuke's hair looks like a duck's ass. So I call him Duck-kun affectionately.
Bcp2005: I'm glad you are enjoying the story!
* - Explanation on bottom
Warning: Swearing, complications, lots of explaining, disrespect for leadership authorities, my beta is in this chapter (yes she gets her own warning), and incase you skipped last chapter: This is a yaoi!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. But I did buy the ps4 game! :D It's enjoyable!
The next three days were spent purely figuring out how our relationship would function. One of the biggest rules we agreed on is that we would not display any form of affection in public. We decided to do this because the less people that know we are a couple, the better. We are still a work in progress, but it seems to be functioning just fine. (AN: I will delve more into this later in the next couple chapters.) I also learned that Itachi is a natural cuddler, and I am enjoying every second of it!
Standing in front of an annoyed Tsunade was not something I was expecting to deal with on the fourth day.
"You have yet to depart for Kirigakure. I received a letter from the Mizukage to speak with you, he does not seem pleased with your negligence… somehow I am not surprised." Tsunade rubs the bridge of her nose with a sigh.
"Nope, Yagura can kiss my ass for all I care, un." I calmly ignore everyone's odd stares at me, "But now that my schedule is clear, I guess I can visit."
"Deidara, you should be respectful to the Mizukage." Itachi attempted to correct my manners, but only half-heartedly as he also knew the truth behind Yagura, "I'll go with you, I don't believe you going alone would be a good idea."
I shrug, "Alright Itachi." While collecting the permission slip to travel to Kirigakure. Normally I wouldn't care about travel papers, I just show up, do my business then leave. However, Haku, Zabuza and now Kisame are involved in this, so I want to minimize any reason for Yagura to try to have my behavior be related to his demands for the three.
Due to the fact that it would seem completely unprofessional to arrive to Kiri for political business on a chocobo, I decides to go for a more… practical approach. One that will both display professionalism and militaristic strength.
"We are not going to Kirigakure on your C2 dragon, please make a bird."
My boyfriend is such a buzzkill.
A few hours later
I decided to have us go via chocobo anyway, it's faster, harder to track and it tramples everything in its path.
"Deidara this is not what I meant by a bird."
Also it was hilarious to see Itachi break from his usual blank face to one of ultimate panic when I had the clay creature go at top speed. He hasn't stopped his vice grip on my torso even after going to a gentle trot when we entered the village. It was oddly satisfying to break his shell, even for just a moment.
A Kiri shinobi greeted us at the entrance of the village, obviously wary and distrustful of my kekkei genkai… and the Uchiha behind me wasn't helping anything either. The man clears his throat, "State your business Konoha shinobi."
I unlatch Itachi's arms from my torso and jump off the impressive bird, and landing in front of the much, much more taller male. My face morphs into one of rage, "Excuse me? Did Mizukage-sama forget to inform you gatekeepers of my arrival? Huh?!"
The guy became flustered with enragement, "Don't talk down on me child! Tell me what your business is!" He leans away when I wave the papers in my hand.
"Oh no, I will not be ordered by a mere chunin! I am Deidara of Konohagakure and Mizukage-sama demanded MY audience. You are wasting not only MY TIME but your LEADER'S time by standing here playing guard dog when you're nothing more than a pup off his leash!" I grab the now paling man by the collar of his top, "Do you understand the importance of time? Yes? Then take me to Mizukage-sama!" I all but throw the man away as I lead the bird to the Mizukage's building.
"You know how to get things done." I gently pat Itachi's leg in thanks, the Kiri shinobi's face slowly grows more red, but otherwise said nothing.
Helping Itachi off the chocobo like the pretty pretty princess he was, we head into Yagura's office… there are a lot of ANBU, and I can sense someone on the roof, but it doesn't feel like an ANBU. The shrimp was lounging on a long sofa, his flowered hook-type weapon at his side, determined eyes that otherwise remind me of a cocky brat… ironic that he is twice my age.
I don't know much about Yagura, besides being under the control of Obito, being the sanbi jinchuuriki, and was killed by Mei sometime in shippuden… not much information has stayed in my mind.
Though, a single glance from Itachi confirms that he is somewhat in control of his mind and body right now. I guess Obito isn't in actual control, but is just influencing Yagura.*
Yagura glances at Itachi, looking somewhat peeved, "You brought a member of the Akatsuki here? Does Konoha want to start a war with Kirigakure?"
I place a hand on my hip, "He is here for my own protection. Itachi was a spy for Konoha and played his role flawlessly, now he is back home and has come with me to ensure that I return safely… as I am made aware, Mizukage-sama… your land is in a civil war with an intolerance for kekkei genkais, un."
The shorter man stares at Itachi for the longest time, I guess he holds grudges, "Very well. But I will only be speaking with you."
Letting out the breath I didn't know I was holding, I politely sit in the chair across from the couch. Itachi was staring at me with mild shock as I kept my posture straight, and my face neutral.
"I am here because of Momochi Zabuza, Yuki Haku and Hoshigaki Kisame, correct?" I tilt my head with a single blink.
"Straight down to business I see. Yes, more specifically the two Seven Swordsmen, I could care less about the ice user. He would be killed either way." I clench the fabric of my pant leg to stay calm as he continued, "I want them returned to this village to face their punishments, their swords included."
I pretend to think a about this, until I smirk, "I am sorry Mizukage-sama, I must decline. You see, those two now belong to Konoha… more specifically, they are mine, un." I hate referring to my friends in such a way, especially Zabuza, who I have grown close with along with Haku. But I will not allow this punk-ass turtle soup to take them away when I already punched Death in the face to get them. (AN: I actually like Yagura, but this is politics and Dei has people to protect.)
Yagura was, understandably unamused, "Your's? Two missing nin who abandoned their village? How did you convince them to follow you?"
I feel Itachi squeeze my shoulder to calm me down. Based on how tense the ANBU have gotten I must have released my kill intent. I'm not comfortable in this situation, I hate political talk and I don't know Yagura. I cannot puppet a puppet.
I grit my teeth, "Simple really, I offered them better lives than what they had. Kisame only just recently joined the village due to his loyalty to the Uchiha squeezing my shoulder. He still needs to prove himself… but Zabuza has done nothing wrong in the last few months. He's already proven himself by defending Konoha when Orochimaru attacked. For those reasons I cannot allow you to take those two to do as you please, un."
A smirk played his lips, "And what will you do if I say that I will announce war on Konoha for harboring S-ranked criminals? Several that have attempted to assassinate me."
And he lost this game, he lost the moment he displayed his fear for me by having ANBU within my line of sight.
"I would call your bluff. You're in a civil war, the 'Bloody Mist' as many call it. You declare war, and not only would you lose, but people will tear you down from your position as Mizukage…" I lean into the chair, "Need I remind you that Konoha now has Tsunade of the legendary sannin as Hokage now? Do you really want to risk what little stability you have right now, for two men?"
Everything in the room stayed still, it was as if everyone summoned a scale in their head to weigh the options. Of course they can see how stupid the war would be, I am almost tempted to demonstrate my own abilities to scare Yagura into agreeing.
That didn't seem needed as he chuckled, "You are quite good at this game. No, a war would be pointless for those two… so, here is how this will turn out. Both swordsmen are forbidden from entering the Land of Water, if they do, they will be killed on sight. And if they die I want their swords returned here."
I shrug, "Fair enough, un." Okay, now that shocked every Kiri shinobi in the room, it always brightens my mood when I stump people. I had no reason to argue with those demands… and since this shrimp is going to die in the next few years, I just need to not piss of Mei… Meaning I need to not reference marriage at all.
It's not like Zabuza or Kisame will die anytime soon anyway, if they did… oh hell no, those swords stay with me until I find their other owners.
I get up and bow lowly to Yagura, "If that is all Mizukage-sama, I have business to attend to, please send a letter to Tsunade-sama on the matter. Itachi, come, un." I straighten myself out and briskly walked out of the room with Itachi following.
"Are you okay Deidara…?" Itachi stays by my side as I make a hawk to fly on.
"I want to leave this village… I feel like I'm going to throw up…" The moment we had entered the office, I had focused all of my sensing skills around the village for traps, or ambuses...and I got more than I bargained for.
There was so much going on in this village that reminded me too much of the warzones back in my past life. It didn't help that I came during one of Kiri's graduation days. I did not need to sense children slaughtering each other, some younger than eleven.
Before I could toss the bird onto the ground, a hand places itself on my shoulder, "Let me escort you outside the village… it would be best if you do not flaunt your kekkei genkai during such a sensitive time."
Itachi and I turn our attention to face… wow that's a coincidence, it's Terumi Mei*. I nod before walking with her to the gates, clinging to Itachi's arm as I became more anxious the longer we stayed here.
"I'm sorry you had to come here during… these bad times, but please do not think ill of the people here." Mei motions to the village in general, "We do not have much of a say in things…"
"Of course not ma'am… it's Yagura that needs to be dealt with, un."
She gives me a baffled expression, "He's the strongest shinobi in the village, so he became the Mizukage."
I roll my eye, "Oh please, that shrimp? Without the sanbi, yes I know he's the jinchuriki it's not that hard to tell," I give her a pointed look, "Anyone with a kekkei genkai or hell, earth jutsu, could take him on. I could take him on right now, easily, un." I don't mean to boast at all… Okay maybe a little, but Yagura would be particles in the air if I did want him dead.
I must say, I did like the glint in her eyes.
Outside the gate, I allowed the bird to poof to a rideable size and hopped on.
Itachi bowed to Mei, "Thank you for escorting us out."
Mei places the tips of her fingers over her mouth to giggle, "My… aren't you handsome. You take good care of your lover, okay?" That made both of us froze with red faces, "Don't act surprised, I can see the love in your eyes for each other. I hope to work with you two again, my name is Mei!"
I nod, "Yes Mei-neechan!" That made her glow with glee as I used an honorific that made her sound younger. Once Itachi was on the bird we took off back to Konoha.
3rd person POV
Mei waved goodbye to the two teens until they were out of sight, "Ao… you can come out now."
The eye patched shinobi appears besides her, "What do you think?" He looks at the sky, barely seeing the white dot of the bird in the distance.
Mei pauses, staring at the spot that the couple were, "Kekkei genkai huh…? I wonder…" She turns at her heel to return to her duties, "Come on Ao… I have some things I need to do." Yagura has done nothing but cause suffering to the village, it was time to stop it all.
Dei's POV
I think I accidentally inspired Mei to overthrow Yagura earlier than planned. Not sure how, but my gut is telling me to prepare for more letters.
Itachi eyes me, "Are you feeling better?" This caused me to smile, I love that he cares enough to check on me. What Mei said about him made me think that he actually felt love… but I will wait for him to say it himself.
I nod slightly, "Yeah… I'm just… a little tired, un." I rest my head on his shoulder, "Wake me up when we get to Konoha…" Dreamland took over me once again.
Undisclosed amount of time later
Based on the fact that I found myself in another dark hallway indicates that Itachi never woke me up. I vaguely remember waking up a few times, only for my eyelids to reject light and slam shut again. Something is keeping me asleep.
I take slow cautious steps down the hallway, looking around for some kind of decoration or sign of life… none, it was as if my brain thought that black marble would make a beautiful architectural choice. At least it made sound, but even that made me more paranoid. It felt like those survival horror games, one that almost promised a scare just by turning around.
"Why do my dreams always have to be in dark areas?" What felt like a few minutes of walking, I come across a dark door with a faint glow around the brim, open slightly ajar. I pause in front of it, the last time I went nearby something that glowed in my head, I nearly died for a second time.
I poke at the door, instantly leaping away expecting it to shock me or cause something to happen. The door only slowly opened with a tired squeak, revealing a rather modern room.
The room was painted with a pleasant slate color with glossy grey wood floor. A white carpet complimented the dark colors with a white couch and armchair… and that was about as normal as the room was. The rest was like a nerd just got back from both comic con and several anime conventions, the majority being Naruto merchandise, after winning the lottery. (AN: I'll leave the rest to your guys' imagination, everyone sees these kinds of rooms differently.)
I give a soft whistle, admiring a random Itachi plushie and giving it a quick hug, "Damn, wish I had a room like this in my past life." I noticed that I didn't have my verbal tic in my head, not that I minded, it was a nice change.
"I never realized how annoying that verbal tic would be until I had to listen to someone talk like me for 5 years, un." Out of shock I throw the Itachi plush, causing it to smack into the ceiling and land somewhere randomly on the ground. Twisting my body, I swung my leg up with the intent to kick the owner of the voice aside, but I didn't expect the hand to grab my ankle.
"You're fast, but you need to work on your taijutsu more if you want to be on equal… footing with me, un." The voice chuckles as I focus my attention on the hand holding my ankle.
Slowly, my eyes trail up, to land on two sets of stitches and discolored skin making up the elbow, 'Impossible… the only person that has an arm like that is…' I snap my head towards the person, and I nearly felt myself faint from shock.
"Are you always this slow or is the idea of me living in your head this unbelievable, un?" In front of me was Deidara… the real Deidara. He was giving me his iconic smirk as he lifted my leg up even more, causing my balance to lose me and I tumble backwards onto the sofa, "Bet you have some questions huh?"
"I…" My mouth felt like it was full of cotton, I couldn't speak, 'Why is he in my head..?'
"Good question." There was a pause as I asked another question mentally, "Yes, I can hear your thoughts, we are in your mind after all. No, this isn't a dream… think of this like a jinchuriki, except instead of a massive turtle or tanuki, you have me, un."
Well, I'm not complaining.
"Good." He gives me an asshole grin when I glared at him for poking into my head, "Sorry, sorry, no need to be all pissy. I'm just messing with you. Anyway, I already answered the first question, keep it up, un."
My mind goes blank, suddenly it was as if someone pressed the power button on my brain. I couldn't speak, move or think.
Deidara tilts his head, "How's my body?"
Without missing a beat, "It was a little tight and your hair felt like rope at first, but a few explosions and showers fixed it up." I feel my body push itself up and my lips curling into a smirk. For some reason talking to Deidara comes naturally, almost like a brother.
He sighs, "Well, at least the shock hasn't killed you… man seeing my own face make such idiotic expressions is killing my pride. Are you able to ask questions now, un?" He crosses his arms, impatiently staring me down as I get myself into a seating position.
I had to think about this, which seemed to irritate the bomber, but then one very noticeable fact caught my attention, "Wait… I took over your body when you were 11, why am I staring at your shippuden self?"
"Ah ha! She asks one of two important questions, at least you're not like that dumbass Tobi!" Deidara nods in triumph, "It's because I am the Deidara from what you would call the 'original timeline', the same one who captured the ichibi and…" He growls to himself, "Used my ultimate art to kill Uchiha Sasuke.. Or at least tried to, un."
I tilt my head, "I don't follow… how…?"
"There is a correct question that will allow me to answer everything all at once. Come on, you hate the guessing games, un." Deidara encourages me to push my mind.
Finally, it kicked in, "Why am I in your body? Why, out of millions that die everyday in my old world, am I in the world of my favorite anime, and in the body of my favorite character?"
Deidara's face broke into a beaming smile, I think I'm stroking his ego, "There you go." He plops into the armchair, "The old man, the Sage of Six Paths, didn't like how the original timeline passed. You see, he was curious to know what would happen if just one person thought differently than before, un."
I nod slowly, starting to put together what was going on.
He continued, "He used some freaky jutsu to revert time, back to just before the kyuubi brat was born. Wiped everyone's memories and abilities of the original time clean, no amount of jutsu could return what they originally had, and went soul hunting. The Sage told me that he knew of your world, and decided to put one that died into the body of one of the… I guess you would say 'main characters' like Hakate or that pink haired kid, un."
That caught my attention, "You're not a main character. At all. So why am I in your body and not… dare I say it, Sakura's? Or anyone else for that matter?"
He pauses, then his face collides softly with his hand, "For some reason you 'Naruto fans' are like cockroaches, it took the guy ages to even collect a few of you to examine your lives, un. Sadly, all of the ones he found either knew too little, had too many fears for changes… or knew a lot, but cared too little for the anime. In other words: No one fit his requirement. At some point he decided to take a gamble. The next person with a high level of knowledge of this world that dies… would be put in the body of their favorite character, un."
"Let me guess, I died right as soon as he said that." I deadpanned as he nodded. Great, of course I happened to get the chance of a lifetime based on someone losing their patience… but… it's nice to know that I'm not here because of Kaguya, "You're my favorite character… but how do you remember everything?"
"The Sage claimed that he didn't clean the slate until he picked out a soul. The person who lost their body would remain in the soul's mind and wait until the time was right, un. But because I never had a confirmed childhood in your guy's manga, he put your soul in my body just before I joined the Akatsuki. You would have a greater sense of time then, un." Deidara nods to himself, seemingly pleased with how smoothly this was going.
Oh… so Hagoromo was the angel I pissed off. I bury my face into my hands, "This… is a bit much… ya know…? I…" I let out a soft chuckle, "Itachi… he just got healed…" Before I could finish, Deidara interrupts.
"Oh yeah… why the hell are you dating that Uchiha bastard, un?!" I had to bite my lip to stop my laughter, looking up, Deidara was so conflicted in his emotions.
"You know?" My body shakes as his face turned more and more agitated, he looks so funny when pissed. I can see why Obito did everything he could to rile him up.
"Of course I know!" He points at a giant, theater-sized monitor that I just now noticed, "I can see and hear everything you do, un!"
I look at the monitor curiously, "Oh… So you've seen us cuddle."
Deidara scoffs, "Yeah, thank Kami you two haven't done anything else. Though, when you are asleep… I watch your memories… this is your mind after all, un."
With a single button, the monitor lit up and memories of my past life played before me.
"Do you miss this old life?" Deidara stands behind me, watching my reactions.
"Yeah… I… haven't truly let it go yet… but I wouldn't trade this new one for anything…"
I feel him place a hand on my shoulder, it's surreal to have Deidara next to me, we looked like identical twins… but without the stitches.
"Come on then, I have a surprise for you, un. The old man will meet us there later." Deidara opens another door, and I followed him into the maze that was my mind.
3rd Person POV
Itachi was interrupted by his reading hearing Deidara whimper. After returning from Kiri, the Uchiha settled himself on the couch with a book, and had the bomber lay next to him, using his lap as a pillow. On occasion Deidara would stir, but almost instantly fell back asleep.
But this was unusual. Both Naruto and Sasuke informed him that Deidara could pass as a corpse with how still and quiet he slept. If it wasn't for the steady beating of his heart, Itachi would have agreed to the statement. He's woken up plenty of times in the middle of the night to notice Deidara's stiff body.
Setting his book down, Itachi gently shakes the younger man's shoulder, "Dei? Dei wake up." But no response came from Deidara.
'Somethings wrong… he doesn't make noise, but he is a light sleeper.' Once again, this was something he also discovered.
The second day of Itachi being in Konoha, he woke up to Deidara just staring at the ceiling in the middle of the night. When Itachi had asked why he was awake, the bomber stated that Naruto was up. He only fell back asleep when Naruto was back in bed.
Worry settled in and Itachi turned Deidara onto his back and opened his eye. The rapid movement of his eye indicated a dream or high brain activity, but still the blond would not wake up.
Itachi pushed chakra into his eyes, allowing his sharingan to activate, "Forgive me Dei." And entered Deidara's subconscious through a genjutsu.
The Uchiha found himself in a landscape that was similar to his Tsukuyomi, but it was more… blue? Looking at his hands, Itachi also realized that everything held their normal colors, nothing was inverted, 'So this is what Deidara's mind is like…'
The Uchiha's attention was snapped towards a young adult woman looking around the area confused her back facing him. With a petite figure and straight black hair… she looked like an Uchiha but with tanned skin. Confused, he called out to her, "Hello?"
The woman spins around to look at him, at first it looked as though the cogwheels in her head were spinning to figure out what was going on… and then the squealing happened.
"OH MY GOD ITACHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" Itachi had to slam his hands over his ears to protect them from the sudden wave of high pitch noises that were escaping this girl's windpipe.
'This voice is too familiar. But I can't concentrate!'
Realizing that she was almost rupturing the poor man's eardrums, she slams her hands over her mouth bowing in apology, "Sorry! It's just… oh god, if this is a dream, I will kill whoever woke me up!" (AN: English is my beta's second language, so she has an accent) Her voice quickly became softer, slightly louder than Hinata, but just as high pitched.
Recovering from the initial shock of such a tiny body containing that loud of a volume, Itachi takes a moment to observe the woman in front of him. Now that he was looking at her face, she really did not look like an Uchiha, she had a small button nose and almond eyes, but she was definitely familiar. Considering that she was in a majority of his boyfriend's memories.
"Maria?"*
The woman, now dubbed Maria, tilts her head in confusion, "How do you know my name?" Her posture became defensive, as she valued her privacy, even if the sexy Uchiha was the one to look into her head.
"Well I also know Kakashi is your favorite character." That seemed to be wrong response as Maria went from suspicious, to blank, to eyes lighting up to look like two big shiny stones.
"Lily?!"* Itachi had to quickly dodge the girl, as without warning she tried to hug the Uchiha. Deidara's memories are enough indication that physical contact with her would almost certainly mean a slow painful death via hug, "Wait… You died and got reborn as Itachi?! Damn… Either the Universe loves you, or wants you dead a second time."
"No, I am not Lily, but I do know her." Itachi brushes himself off despite not being covered in dust, even in his head Deidara's mind stays perfectly clean.
Once again, Maria was confused, "So if you're not Lily… then who-"
"Why the fuck are you here Uchiha, un?!"
Poor Maria's head was basically spinning as Itachi perked up at the sound of his boyfriend's voice… albeit a little mad sounding. Turning around Itachi spots Deidara, though he looked different with stitched up arms and a sour expression that looked permanently plastered on his face. Recognizing that stitch work, Itachi inquired, "Are you the original Deidara… or my De-"
Deidara points his finger at Itachi almost violently with a low growl, "Finish that sentence and I will turn you into art, un."
That was enough to confirm his suspicion, "The original Deidara then… right."
Maria quickly catches on, "'Original'? Oh okay, so the Universe loves her then!" Both men turn their attention to her, "What? I don't need a full sentence to understand a situation."
Deidara rolls his eye, "Fantastic, well thanks to this damn Uchiha butting in with the old man's process, I lost Lily somewhere in her mind! Now I have to get her before she gets lost, un!" Turning on his heel, the bomber storms off in a random direction.
Maria cups her hands around her mouth, "Good luck! I suggest looking in either the anime or the fanfiction section!" She pauses, "And if there is a Kingdom Heart section, go there too!" She beams when Deidara gives her a thumbs up before disappearing again.
The woman returns her attention to Itachi, "So if you are not Lily… then how do you know my name? And what did you mean by 'my Deidara'?" Itachi could feel an enormous amount of kill intent radiating from her from the second question. He was slowly understanding how his Deidara had such a dominating personality.
'Deidara was well protected even in his past life.' Itachi straights himself out and allows his face to return to his typical blank expression, "Dei- ...Lily allowed me to look into her memories to prove that she was on my side. She is the only reason why I am alive and that my brother no longer walks down the path of hatred." He wisely avoid the second question.
Maria sighs, "Typical, she is the one with a bleeding heart in our friendship. Surprises people every time they meet her, considering I'm the one they expect to be the nicer person." (AN: Her definition of a bleeding heart is someone who cannot say no.)
Something quickly caught Itachi's attention, "You don't seem upset at all, despite Lily being dead."
She shrugs, "I know and understand death, knowing that she has already been reincarnated is enough to put my mourning aside." Smiling sadly at Itachi, of course the idea of her friend suddenly dying was painful, but at least she's not waiting forever for another life.
"Found her, un!" Deidara returns triumphantly with another Deidara in tow, this one was quietly singing songs to herself.
SI!Deidara/Lily's POV
(AN: For the rest of this sequence, SI!Deidara will be referred to as Lily and as a woman by characters and the narration in POV changes. I will let you know when it changes back to Deidara. Itachi will still call her Dei when talking directly to her. Note that Lily will not be shown in her original form and is still in Deidara's body. This is also the only time the SI's name will be used the entire fanfic.)
I was bobbing my head to the theme song for Ouran Highschool Host Club as Deidara was leading me to a pretty blue landscape, "Kiss kiss fall in lo- YIPE!"
I let out an unmanly squeak when a familiar girl tackled me to the ground, "Wha? Ma...Maria?! Wait what?! Deidara what's going on?!" Why was my best friend here?! Oh shit… don't tell me she...
Deidara smirked, "The old man wanted you to see your friend to help you finally move on from your past life. Don't worry, she's very much alive, un." He moved away from us and stoods by Itachi… with a fair bit of distance between the pair. Guess he knew that things were going to get loud, very quickly.
I quickly released Maria as she was repeatedly hitting me saying "air" over and over again, "Sorry hun… it's just… wow… holy shit it's been forever!" I had to stop myself from crying right there.
If Maria was able to raise an eyebrow, I could tell that she would, "Really? It's only been 100 days." In her culture, you would see a loved one that passed within the first 100 days of their death, "Also air! Sweet Jesus, beautiful air!"
This news crashed onto me like a pile of bricks, "Only 100 days…? But… I've been in this body for the last 5 years…" I stared at my hands, 'have I truely not been gone for that long…?'
Maria stares at me blinking, "Damn, that's a big time difference." She calmly leans away as I half-heartedly tried to swat at her head, "Well it is. Has shippuden happen?"
Distracted from the shock, I give her a cheeky smirk, "No, it's still the original series… but I've fucked with the plot enough to where some of the shippuden events will not happen." My grin widens when Maria perks up with interest, urging me to go on.
"I adopted Naruto as my little brother."
Meanwhile with the boys while the… girl...s? Catch up
3rd person POV
Deidara and Itachi watch as the two sitting on the floor talk about all the changes Lily has made, followed with the occasional squeal or laughter coming from the pair.
"You revived Madara? Okay… I won't question how… but how's his hair?" The boys sweatdropped as Maria was basically bouncing where she sat with excitement.
"It's softer than we thought! And his voice is just…" This led to two very different pitched squeals to echo in the environment.
"I cannot believe half of the stuff that comes out of my mouth or what my body has done in the past five years, un." Deidara massaged his temples with a groan.
Itachi eyes the man, in another life, this blond hated his guts… and now in this life, he's dating the blond… albeit, the soul is different.
"Do you really hate me?" Itachi really did not get how him winning a battle caused this man to die hating him.
"Of course I do! You looked down on my art with those damn eyes of yours, un!"
Itachi's brow raises, "But I find Lily's art to be beautiful and unique. It is the same as yours."
Deidara freezes on the spot, before folding his arms and turning his nose up, "I still think you're a bastard that was born lucky. Why the hell did she pick you? Of all people, un. What have you done to make a girl so devoted to saving your ass?" He locks eyes with Itachi, determined to get an answer from the Uchiha.
Maria pipes in, "It's the smile!" Before returning to her conversation.
"... I honestly don't know. From what I can tell… Lily was giving her 200% from the very beginning… she could have picked out a better partner, but she picked me." Itachi looks at the pair that were still giggling and talking to their heart's content, "I'm still not sure what I feel…"
Deidara scoffs, "Of course you don't, but at least you're not so much of an asshole that you'd shut her down… Kami would she stop squealing in my voice? It's uncool, un…" The bomber's lips turn into a scowl.
"I like it. She's being herself." Itachi pauses at that statement, "I… like… her, being herself."
Deidara jabs a thumb at the pair, "Tell that to her, not to me. What she does with my body is her call now, I've grown to care for the girl and honestly she's doing a damn good job at spreading my art. I mean… she did turn your brother into an artist, un." He had this proud look on his face, but there was something off behind it.
Itachi could not figure out why.
Back with the girl...s?
SI!Deidara's POV
"This is Naruto and Kimimaro's first New Year's with me." I pull out my locket and show Maria the little family photo.
"Awwww how cute! Now, back to the question Itachi avoided, what is your relationship with him?" Maria gives Itachi a half-baked glare.
"Itachi? He's my boyfriend, we've been dating only for a few days now, un." I was never able to keep secrets, it gets even worse when around Maria, who is basically my sister. Biting my lower lip, I lean in to whisper to her, "And to be honest… I am completely twitterpated…" I proceeds to hide behind my hair as I felt my face turns red.
"Ohhhh, okay! Can I talk to him?" Maria leaps to her feet when I gave her a thumbs up. Bolting to Itachi, she grabs him by the collar of his shirt, "We need to talk!" There was this disturbing mixture of sadistic malice and overwhelming glee as the tiny girl dragged away the powerful Uchiha, causing me to laugh at my boyfriend.
Suddenly out of nowhere Hagoromo appeared between Deidara, who had moved to stand by me, and me, "Things seem to be settling down I see." This caused in the two of us to leap away from him in shock.
"When the hell did you show up?" I gripped my hand over my heart to steady it, not expecting the Sage of Six Paths to show up.
"I have been here for quite some time, but no one pays much mind." The Sage calmly floats at his spot, "I trust you had most of your questions answered?"
I nod, "Yeah… Deidara explained most of it, thanks for… letting me see Maria again…"
"I know the pain of being away from loved ones. Think of it as my thanks for all the work you have done."
I rub my arm bashfully, "I did have a question though… why did you only pick out those who died? Why not someone who was alive and truly could change things?"
Hagoromo gave me a patient smile, "Because young one, it would disturb the balance of that world. By only choosing those that pass, I am keeping their cycle of life unchanged. There is no reason to strip someone of their life before their time."
I tilt my head, "Then is there anyone else like me?"
The Sage sighs, "No, it is just you and only you. I only wanted one soul and you were the lucky one to be chosen." I nod at that answer, satisfied to know that there was no one else messing with the timeline.
My attention was changed when Maria returned with Itachi… still lecturing him. I don't blame her though… Itachi is my first relationship and we both have a protective streak for each other when it comes to boys… me more so than her.
"Remember, there is more that I could say about what will happen if you hurt Lily… but it's best to leave it to your imagination!" Maria pats Itachi on the back with a big smile, "Good luck!"
I quickly swoops in to rescue the poor guy from my crazy friend, placing my forehead on his so our eyes meet, "Are you okay Itachi?" In the background, Deidara is gagging while Hagoromo is chuckling at the bomber's reaction.
Itachi relaxes and wraps his arms around my waist, again giving me that feeling of undying safety, "I'm fine Dei… Your friend was just being protective of you is all."
Deidara now sounds like he's about to throw up. It was rather amusing.
Maria smiles affectionately, "Oh you know me, I just said a few things. I know you can handle this… also CUUUUUUTTTTEEEE, oh my god!" We both wince at her sudden squealing, that's what we get for being affectionate around her.
I looks over to her and nod once, "True, not that I would. Come on, the man hugging me is Itachi, now if it was anyone else then we should be concerned."
Maria sighs, "That's true… at least it's not Sasori." Poor Deidara was hiding in a mental corner, also traumatized by randomly looking into my memories. People always find the yaoi first, always the stuff I shove into the farthest corner of my mind that's buried under other memories. Maria takes this time to poke Deidara with a stick- wait where the hell did she get that?!
Hagoromo swoops into the conversation, "It is time for all of this to end, Maria needs to be returned to the world she lives in and Deidara… needs to move on finally."
"Wait, move on?" I look over to Deidara, who stood up, "What does he mean?"
Deidara smirks, "It means that this body is now 100% yours, I am the Deidara from the original timeline remember? I do not even exist anymore, I can finally be like my art and vanish from this world completely, un!" He was proud to finally be able to disappear.
Maria steps in, "Wait, won't you just be reincarnated?"
Hagoromo took the time to answer this, "I gave Deidara the option to either be reborn as somebody else, or to vanish from existence… he chose the latter option."
Deidara raised a finger to stop my protesting, "I only wanted to stay to see what you had in store, and you already are creating a better life than I could ever do… while keeping a love for art. If I move on to the afterlife to wait for reincarnation, then someone has the chance of using edo tensei to summon me. Now that would be a mess and it would cause confusion…"
Everyone for a few seconds began to picture Kabuto accidentally bringing Deidara back... and chaos ensues because there are now two explosive happy shinobi prancing around the battlefield. What a nightmare.
"Considering I accidentally reanimated Madara… This would be worse than what I did actually…" Maria looks over at me with a "you think?" expression.
Hagoromo turns to Maria, "You also need to be returned home."
"Can I be reborn as someone? Please? Even if it was some background shinobi?" Maria tries giving the Sage her best puppy dog eyes… sadly the old man is not only a father, but created the chibi versions of all of the tailed-beasts. Her eyes got nothing on baby Kurama. When the man doesn't even blink she pouts, "Oh boo… Okay." She turns and hugs me tightly one last time.
I holds her for a few moments in complete silence, "... This is like a bad fanfiction." It was never in either of our natures to keep the mood down.
This earned a minor laugh from my friend, "It is, no offence. Bye! Don't die again!"
I rolls eye, "I won't! Good luck in life hun!" With a sharp ring sound and a bright flash of light, Maria, Deidara and the Sage were gone.
Back in reality
(AN: SI!Dei will no longer be referred to as Lily from this point onward)
I snapped my eye open to see both my ceiling and Itachi looking down at me, at first I thought it was all a dream.
"You have a good friend Dei…"
That was enough to trigger the tears I had held in. I didn't want to cry in front of everyone, I usually end up becoming an unresponsive mess by the end of it all… but at the cost of bottling it up until someone like Itachi opens it up. For some reason it's always him that causes me to cry.
Itachi holds onto me as I allowed myself to wail with heartache, I missed my past life, I missed it so much. But at the same time… seeing Maria again… I feel some closure…
"Do you wish you could go back to it all?"
I sniff a little before looking up at Itachi, it was… honestly a good question, if I had the choice… would I? I had to think on it for a while, before slowly shaking my head, "I… I miss my friends and my family… but…" I chuckle, wiping my face with my arm, "I died, it's not like I was forced to this world before my time was done. I… my only regret was that I never got to finish my schooling and become a teacher… that's it, un."
He tilts his head in interest, "You wanted to become a teacher?"
I nod, "Yeah… I love seeing people learn new things, I love spreading knowledge. It's the reason why I wanted to be a jounin sensei at a young age, un. Kinda stupid really." I get off the couch and grabbed a tissue to blow my nose, feeling it getting stuffed up and then washed my face, I almost missed Itachi speak.
"This is what I like about you…" I could barely hear him, I guess he didn't intend for me to hear what he said, so I chose to not make a comment.
Returning to the couch, I relax next to Itachi, "I think I can finally move on from everything, I don't need to cling to the past anymore… well… looking at the old times now and then won't kill me, un." I let out a soft laugh as Itachi returned to his book. Getting snuggly with my Uchiha again, I slowly started to fall back asleep. Things were so peaceful… so…
"Get your hands off my Nii-sama!" I was interrupted by a strong arm yanking me away from Itachi, gee… I wonder who it is? Not like many people call me "Nii-sama".
"Kimimaro, we were just snuggling honey, un." I laughed at the protective expression on the boy's face. He's already starting to become taller than me due to his diet and the disease slowly being removed from his body permanently. It was rather interesting seeing him grow.
"I don't care, I will not allow this man to defile your purity!" Kimimaro glared at Itachi, who if he had a drink, most likely be choking on it.
"Wait, who said what now? 'Defiling your purity'? Kimimaro, we haven't even kissed yet, un." I feel my face become hot as my mind slowly crept towards the gutter. Maybe giving the boys such a detailed description on how sex works was a bad idea…
Itachi decided he wanted to calm the Kaguya boy's rage, "I had no intentions on laying a hand on Deidara until marriage." Wait…. MARRIAGE?! Also bad wording there!
"Who said I would let you marry my Nii-sama?"
"Kimi… honey." I catch my brother's attention, "We will not be discussing such matters for a few more years. Don't worry, Itachi knows my boundaries and has done nothing to push them… so don't stress too much, okay? You'll get sick and make Naruto and me worried at this rate, un."
This deflated his anger rather quickly, but it did nothing to loosen his grip. Instead, he throws me over his shoulder, "Also, Otouto wanted you to have ramen with us."
I wave goodbye to Itachi as my brother took me away, I need some time with the boys.
It's little things like this that help me move on from what I had lost before.
Oh lord this chapter was fun, my beta and I worked closely together to make sure her dialogue and reactions were accurate to her own personality. This was the SI's chance to get closure on her past life, so she will be missing it a little less than before now that she has given a chance to say goodbye.
Hope my explanation on how and why she was reborn as Dei was clear, I noticed that some fics will vaguely mention it… but then never go into detail. So I went all out. Long story short: Hagoromo was unhappy and curious, and the SI was chosen because of timing and chance.
"Or the universe just has a love and hate relationship with SI :3" - Beta
* How I saw it was that Yagura had most of his free will, and only lost it when Obito wanted something. So I'm going with that idea for my canon. Also he's gonna die anyway so might as well make it simple. It was mostly influences, as unless it's Shisui's eye I do not believe any other sharingan can truly control a person.
* Mei was a jounin at the time, most likely hiding her kekkei genkai, and I think she would be thinking about overthrowing Yagura to fix the Mist. So it stands to reason that someone from Konoha going to Kiri to speak with the Mizukage would a person of interest/future ally in hopes of rebuilding alliances.
* Maria is my beta's alias for whenever we go to places that ask for names… mostly because her real name is kinda hard to pronounce for some people. She was comfortable being in the story, but not using her real name, so we used Maria! I still do not know why she picked this name.
* Lily is MY alias. I learned that my beta uses an alias and wanted to try it out… so I blurted out the first name that came to mind… I am now known by most starbuck workers as Lily. But please, just refer to the SI as Deidara, it will save a lot of a headache not having to swap between the names. The SI has accepted the name Deidara now and Lily is just a relic of the past.
Anyway, Maria was a one time thing that the Sage wanted the SI to see one last time. She will not show up in the story again (At the mutual agreement between both me and my beta). Also the real Dei is permanently gone due to the time travel/butterfly effect. So he will not be around giving advice like the kyuubi; he has become like his art, gone in the blink of an eye. Also yes, Itachi calls the SI Dei, he wanted to try the whole pet name thing too. :3
Only 3-4 more chapters until shippuden! Next chapter will set the stage for Naruto preparing to leave to train with Jiraiya and a few other fun things here and there… yes one of them involves dad!Madara being a dad to Deidara.
As always, reviews are loved and I will see you all later.
Bye!
