Well there was a slight change of plans. Due to the sheer length of the chapter, plus I had even more stuff I wanted to write, Deidara's part of the time skip will be 2 parts. I am 99% sure Naruto and Sasuke's chapter will just be 1 part.

Just heads up, if at some point while reading this, you ask yourself "Where is *insert filler bit here*?" The most likely case is it never happened because Sasuke never went to Orochimaru, Deidara was not aware that it happened, or it happens off screen, like Ranmaru's filler. It happened the exact same way as in the anime just with Kimimaro and less talk-no-jutsu. Also these actual filler episodes will most definitely be out of order. (Please note that there are only a very small handful of actual fillers)

Lastly I have one important announcement to make that I'm gonna address right away: Because of how much homework I am getting at college (plus my professor tell us ahead of time what we are working on), updates will now be once a week. It sucks, I know, but until further noticed, I will only update on weekends.

Holy shit we hit 400 followers! Woohoo! You guys are amazing! Thank you all so much for following, favoriting and reviewing! Honestly it keeps me motivated even when I'm borderline going nuts from stress.

Notsae: Nope! I'm going with deus ex Madara, sounds like a play on words. :P

crazby: Actually using math and information from the light novels, Itachi joined the Akatsuki when he was about 12. I went with this as it made the most sense mathematically. Also I'm enjoying your story so far! :D

setokayba2n: It's all good. Glad I could clarify for you. Also Dei does not have an animal summon, I saw no point in one as he can make anything he wants for less chakra… and any summons he would have would just die within minutes lol.

VenaHope: Orochimaru is a main antagonist for Deidara, that's for sure. But the real threat is still Black Zetsu, since he will be doing all he can to bring back mommy-dearest. I'm happy you liked the realism, it would make sense for Deidara to get his ass kicked when he's entering something blind, or even semi-blind. In reality, Deidara can easily get his ass kicked if you just push the right buttons.

Yurei Hanatsuki: Yeah no Hidan for a while, sorry hun. Also yeah, no Idate. I actually never watched that filler and I forgot he existed, so Deidara isn't even aware of him. Also that exam… it will be in the next part… buuuuuuutttttt Deidara is 99.9% blind with the exception of the knowledge of Fuu getting captured. He doesn't even know what that girl is like. So he's gonna try, but we all know what happens when you walk into something blind. Bad stuff happens.

MelonLordOfMelons: … You beautiful creature you. Never fail to make mine and my beta's day. :3

IsraAl'Attia-Theron: Or both really. Daddy!Dara is never happy when he sees Dei in trouble. Uchihas in general are very awkward with anything involving emotions, so it makes sense the brothers act like silly ducks. (or weasel for Itachi) Also Dei's hair isn't gonna grow, it will float. Soooo think ghibli movies like Howl's Moving Castle. Very animated and flowy.

Mad167: Don't hurt your throat hun! :D

Asia1990: My beta mentioned the saiyan part when I read that bit to her actually lol. I may do something with Kiba, I may not, I'm pretty apathetic when it comes to that fight. Dei will go to Uzushio in the next chapter/part, alone for… reasons. Specific reasons but… reasons. You'll see. :D

ladybug002: I'm so bad at romance XD I'm glad you all like my terrible handle of it.

WhiteFang001: Dei loves his boys, they're his little chicks and he's a scary momma hen. XD

duchessliz: Itachi is gonna try to . But Deidara was already awake, and I am a mood killer. You'll see.

wyattharto8: Woohoo! Binge reading! I do that too often with the fics I find too. Thanks for the support hun!

EgyLynx: …Um… I'm sorry I don't understand your review hun. I'm guessing you are asking if that was the end? Then no, not even close.

Bcp2005: Not at all, I want to see Dei kill more too.

LeWeeaboo: Never feel pressured to review, just knowing you are reading my story makes me a happy author. :3

Warning: Violence, language, cheese, shipping, awkward ass funerals (Oh yeah, I did that episode), character death, miscommunication. Once again this is a yaoi!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, wish I would so I could redo the Deidara vs Sasuke fight to actually make more sense.


Year 0, April (AN: for the sake of keeping track of how months work, I will just list the actual months, but no dates. Just assume the boys left Konoha near the beginning of the month.)

I had a sudden thought process while laying in that hospital bed that made me cringe, spooking the nurse checking on me, 'Crap… I haven't told Madara about the fight.' I could try to keep the fight a secret… nah, he would be able to tell.

I eyed the nurse in the room, 'Young… always avoiding eye contact… soft spoken too… and based on the fact she had to poke me with a needle 3 times until she got the right spot, she's either new or a Hinata 2.0.' I give her a charming smile, which for some reason actually works on girls, "Excuse me, miss?"

The nurse jumps a little in surprise, "Y-yes?" Oh Kami she's blushing, sorry sweetheart but I am spoken for.

"Would it be possible for no one to enter this room for the next hour? I didn't get much sleep and I think I need to nap, un." In reality I slept like a log, but she doesn't need to know that detail. She gives me an unsure look, "I promise I will stay in bed."

The nurse stares at me for a moment, before nodding her head and scurrying out the room. I can hear her scribbling something on my door sign. I quickly make work to seal the room without getting out of bed, good thing my bed is against a wall.

"Summoning jutsu: edo tensei." Since I have no reason to be flashy, I simply allow the coffin to appear and fall open.

"What is the matter this time Dei-" I think I somehow managed to break Madara. He's staring at me with his mouth hanging open and his eyes roaming over the room. Not a good sign.

I let out a nervous chuckle, "I uh… Kinda got in a tough fight over a week ago, un." Instantly regretting my choice of words as now I have a pissed off Uchiha staring me down.

"Why didn't you summon me?"

Shrinking slightly, "They were faster than me. When I tried to summon you, I would get hit with lightning chakra, un."

Madara's back straightens, "So you nearly died because of speed and a weakness to lightning chakra? And you lost to… What I am guessing is some nameless shinobi?" When I nodded, he sighs, "Once you have recovered, I will personally train you in taijutsu. I can't have you dying on me."

I didn't argue, I just nodded while keeping my head down. Though, I did not expect for Madara to ruffle my hair.

"Do try not to get in this mess again, I am fond of you, I'd rather you not die on my watch."

I look at him confused, "Why do you care so much, un?"

The Uchiha steps back into his coffin, "You are my second chance at redemption." And vanishes into the ground.

A few days later

Tsunade finally discharged me from the hospital once she was confident that I could walk on my own. Seeing as how I made a mad dash to the apartments… yeah I'm fine.

Yanking the apartment door open, I had to narrowly dodge Itachi throwing a kunai due to reflexes. Seeing the shocked Uchiha, I tackle him into a hug, "Never let me stay at a hospital that long ever again, un." I give him my best puppy eyes… eye. You know it's really hard to pull it off when you only have one usable eye.

It takes Itachi a moment to recover before he returns the hug, with the obvious intention of not letting go anytime soon, "Then do not get into such dangerous situations…" He rests his head on top of mine, seemingly trying to calm down from the previous surprise.

I nuzzle my face into his shoulder, pleased by the smell. It's at least a major upgrade from the sterile smell of the hospital, "I'm sorry…"

I feel Itachi shake his head, "You have nothing to apologize for. Orochimaru was just a step ahead of you for once. We just need to prepare you for any future dangers."

I sweatdrop, "Madara... plans on training me in taijutsu. He wasn't too happy seeing me in a hospital, un." I wasn't sure if it was a good thing he would train me, or if I should be afraid. Based on the fact that this same Uchiha spent most of his life fighting the Shodai Hokage… I am definitely nervous.

Itachi goes quiet for a moment, "Dei… I'm sorry for avoiding you. I visited the hospital one night, but you were asleep and I-" I interrupt him with a gentle kiss.

Pulling away, "I heard you… every word. Did you forget that I'm a light sleeper, un?" In a way, I was expecting him to be upset, but instead his shoulders slump with relaxation.

"I'm not the best with expressing myself, but I promise that I will do my best. Because I do love you Deidara." He presses his forehead against mine.

A playful smirk grows on my lips, mostly trying to hide the blush that I know was forming on my face,, "I love you too Itachi, but don't push yourself past your comfort zone. I want everything to be mutual, un." Based on the beautiful smile that was on Itachi's face, he agreed.

The next day

I finally had the time to introduce Kisame and Zabuza. According to Itachi, the two have passed by each other, but never have formally introduced themselves.

Kisame and Zabuza stare at each other blankly, before Kisame spoke up, "You're here because of the kid too, huh?" Well, at least it's a light conversation.

Zabuza nods, "Yes, my adoptive son Haku and I were supposed to die several months ago. But for some reason, the brat decided that we were worth saving." Okay boys, I get it, I'm short and young, you don't have to rub it in!

Kisame nods in understanding, "I see, well…" Suddenly both men swing their swords at each other violently, "Let's see how good you are, Momochi Zabuza."

Zabuza crouches down, his sword resting against his back, "I can say the same about you Hoshigaki Kisame."

I sweatdrop, "Um… Glad to know you two are getting along… I'm gonna take Haku yukata shopping." Neither man seem to hear me as they continued their fighting. As a result, I awkwardly left to take Haku shopping.

Later that evening, I learn that after their battle, the two Swordsmen exchanged battle stories over sake. Good to know that they enjoy each other's company, and that they didn't flood Konoha.

One Week Later

I was going stir crazy staying in the village all the time. All I have been allowed to do was paperwork for Tsunade. I don't care if handling S-rank documents is considered important, give the job to Izumo and Kotetsu!

Itachi and I were at the Hokage's office to submit my report on the archives when I finally snapped, "Tsunade-sama, for the love of Kami, please give me a mission outside of this damn village. I feel like if I have to look at one more stack of documents, I'm going to explode, un!" Itachi takes a step to the side, barely missing my arms as I shot them out.

Tsunade gives me a hard look, "You have been in Konoha for your safety, I will not send you out in a combat mission."

Now my arms are in the air, "I don't care about that! It can be a C-rank! Just as long as it's outside of Konoha, un!" I plead to Tsunade, all of the fun missions popped up around this time, I need a distraction.

Tsunade quickly gives in, realizing that she was in a losing battle, "Fine… I have one you may be interested in. Someone requested a substitute head mourner for a family funeral. I will allow you to take this mission, but you need to prepare proper funeral attire and Itachi will go with you as well." Oh! I know this mission, specifically it is my second favorite single-episode filler in the original series, right behind the Kakashi's face one.

Without hesitation, I nod with a beaming grin, "So black kimono for me and black funeral clothes for Itachi. Got it, un!" I already own a mostly black wardrobe with some bright blue here and there. Taking the Uchiha's hand, I drag him to the apartment and pack our things in a scroll.

"A mission you recognize?" Itachi didn't mind joining on the mission, I think he's just happy that I'm not in a gloom and doom state anymore.

I gently place a kiss on his cheek, "Of course, I'm rather fond of this one too with how stupid it is. I'm incharge of this mission, un." Itachi simply nods and we head out to the Kagetsu estate.

We reached the land by the late afternoon, Futa gave us the will, but Itachi was the one to read it. I had little to no interest in the nitty-gritty details.

"... If you laugh, you lose all of your inheritance… What an unprofessional way to handle death." Of course Itachi would think that, the Uchiha clan was traditional in their funerals.

I give him a small smile, "Growing up, I would always tell my friends that if I die, cremate my body and have karaoke at the funeral, un." This earned a sweatdrop from Futa, "What? I'm dead, why should I care how they handle the whole thing?"

"Ah… um…" He nervously looks at Itachi, who has remained passive the entire time, "You will be taking my stead as head mourner?"

"No, Deidara will." I have never seen someone lose color in their face so fast. Nice to know this man had faith in me, "Despite his childish demeanor, he is a skilled jounin capable of killing all of his emotions and remain unmoved by foolish actions."

This was just Itachi's fancy way of saying I get bored easily.

Futa seemed unsure, but nodded. Afterwards we head to the main room for dinner that his younger sister made.

"It's poisoned." Itachi and I spoke in unison, though I had my verbal tic.

Futa dropped his chopsticks, "How do you know?! My sister made this food! How could you say that a family member would poison it?!"

"I was an ANBU captain by the age of 12." Was Itachi's reasonable response.

"If I cannot see the food being prepared, then it is poisoned, un." Was my unreasonable response.

The siblings looked between the two of us, before the sister chimed in, "The… door was unlocked… anyone could have walked in…"

Dumb woman… even if this is all of Futa's father's plan to make the family funny again. With a sigh, I get up from my seat, "Show me how the kitchen works, after that you will get the hell out of the room and only Itachi may enter, un." She tried to protest, but a single glare from me send her scurrying into the kitchen to instruct me on how the cooking worked.

Futa looks over to Itachi, "... Why is he in charge?"

My boyfriend sighs, "Let's just say my partner… he is someone who likes to be the one calling the shots." He calmly cleans up the dishes and disposes of the food, wisely avoiding more questions.

Dinner ended up being a bowl of rice with a side of fish, tempura, and a western style salad. When asked on the greens my natural response was, "Shut up and eat."

At night in our shared room, Itachi looks up at me after laying his head on my chest, "Are you sure you will not laugh?" He gently takes one of my hands in his and pulls the blanket up to his shoulder so we are covered.

I run my other hand through his silky black hair with a calm smile, "I have a specific type of humor. What these pathetic excuses of jokers have is nothing on me, un." Unless they suddenly turned into anthropomorphic animals, all with bad speech impediments, slapstick humor doesn't work on me.

Satisfied with my response, he nuzzles his face back onto my chest, "What was that poison anyway?"

"Laughing, it would have made us laugh like a bunch of idiots for a few days… I'm curious to know what you would look like laughing in that manner, un…" I shiver, "Nevermind, please remain passive Itachi."

"With pleasure…" And with that, the two of us fell asleep.

The next day

I effortlessly put on my kimono and tie my ponytail up using a black ribbon. Itachi wore the same type of funeral clothes most of the people in Konoha wear. He would sit behind me during the funeral, but only for the first few minutes to make sure I was okay. After that, he would scout.

The other sister of Futa, Tsukiko, arrived with her husband along with the other family members. Futa claimed that he had a cold, and Tsukiko took one look at me and instantly thought I would be easy, unlike the emotionless shinobi standing behind me.

I calmly sat with the family when that ridiculous monk entered the room. Sitting in front of me, a single strand of hair flew off his head… I just inhale. When the monk bowed to me, the second to last hair flew off, I felt all of the family members look at me, expecting me to at least crack a smile.

'Must… resist urge…' I can't help myself, 'To pluck… stray hair…' My OCD is killing me. All I could do was sit there with a twitching eye as I thought of symmetrical things.

"Now then, allow me to begin." Just before he hit the bell, the final strand of hair flew away. The family members became increasingly frustrated when all I did was relax in my spot. Yay, he was perfectly bald now.

I have no idea how Japanese funerals actually work, so when the sister sat down the tray and the first guy went over I was just confused… and then the man's pants ripped and revealed a Gai green thong.

Itachi was quick to cover my eye as soon as he heard the rip.

Tsukiko glares at Itachi, "What are you doing, young man?"

The Uchiha keeps my eye covered as he blankly looked at the woman, "The only person who Deidara will see exposed in such a way are his brothers and me, the exception being hot springs. I will not allow his mind to be soiled by such a vulgar display."

I love you too dear.

The ripped pants man leaves and replaces with a business man with a Snape nose… crap. I know this gag.

Business Snape begins to inhale several times before sneezing out a flower. I had to cover my snicker with a sneeze of my own, I forgot I found shit like that funny.

"Young man, did you just laugh?"

I glare at Tsukiko, "I lack the ability to laugh during such events. However you should have your relatives clothes and health checked out, it appears you all came ill-prepared to mourn the loss of your family head, un." At this response, the old bag glared at me while Itachi politely excused himself to go scout the area. I can feel Futa's heart race now that I am alone.

One after another, each family member tried to make me laugh… each one failing, and on occasion would earn a yawn. I live with Naruto, this stuff is nothing to what I deal with at home.

Allowing my voice to be soft, "Tis a shame no one understands how to do ironic and dry humor, this is all child's play, un." I smirk when Tsukiko gained a tick mark. Returning my voice to normal, "Thank you for today. And thank you for allowing me to be the substitute head mourner." I bow lowly to the monk, who in turn bows back.

Before the monk could leave, Tsukiko requests her husband says his thanks.

I nearly threw up when the man removed the kimono part of his clothes revealing the paint. Tsukiko using a squirt gun to make his man boobs look like they are crying, making the monk laugh while her husband danced.

'Ewwwww ew ew gross! Man boobs! I did not need to see that! Think of Itachi at a hot springs!' That oddly worked as I pretty much put myself in a self-imposed genjutsu of my boyfriend… this resulted in me staring in the distance with a dazed, dreamly look. Itachi is a very useful distraction.

A gentle shake of my shoulder snaps me out of my genjutsu, "Deidara, it is time to return home. The mission was a success." Itachi was standing beside me as laughter in the background filled the air.

"Oh… Talk-no-jutsu, un?" I slowly stand, having to cling to Itachi as my legs were numb and the blood left my head from standing to fast.

"Hn."

Futa bowed to us in thanks as we left. Things were all quiet until…

"What did you see in your genjutsu?"

I turn bright red, "None of your business Itachi, un!"

"Oh… so me then."

The rest of the trip back was me chasing my boyfriend shouting profanities.

Year 0, late May

Seems like all the fun shit is happening right away. I just learned that Kimimaro was sent off to deal with Mizuki, and I learned Sakura and Neji were finally promoted to chunin. (AN: Shikamaru, Sakura and Neji were all promoted during the chunin exams because of either their skills or how they handled their fights.)

I must say, I envy Kimimaro, I wanted to kill Mizuki.

Kimimaro's POV

The moment I learned that the man who tried to kill Otouto escaped prison, I didn't hesitate to take the mission.

Heading to the location where Mizuki was last spotted, a woman began to follow me. She was a chunin from what I could get, and for some reason she felt the need to tell me that he is working with Orochimaru and she withheld information from Konoha.

"It doesn't matter who or what Mizuki is planning, his heart will cease to beat by sundown." I coldly look at the woman as her face twists with conflicted shock. I have wanted this man to die since Otouto graduated from the academy, and now my chance is presented to me on a silver platter. Also Nii-sama wishes him dead, that alone is a good enough reason for me.

"What?! Why would you kill Mizuki? I thought Konoha just wanted him returned to prison. I want to help him, not see him dead!" Apparently this woman misheard me.

"I am not you. I am Kaguya Kimimaro, older brother of Uzumaki Naruto. I'm sure you have heard of me, I am the one that uses bones." To prove my point, I calmly pull my bone blade from my shoulder, "Mizuki attacked Naruto the night of his academy graduation, tried to kill him even. I do not care what your feelings for him is, you are not me, all I see is a threat to my family that I must eradicate. Get in my way, and I will take you down."

That last bit was a half-lie, I will take her down, but I will not kill her. I will just knock her out and return her to Konoha later. Nii-sama would be upset if he learns I killed an innocent person that was not a threat. Though, it seems my threat rang well in her head as she slowed down, giving me the chance to lose her in the trees.

Reaching a clearing, I see who I am to assume is Mizuki with two large twins, neither one seemingly very bright looking. Prison seemed to do the man some good, as he is now more muscular than what his photo looks like on the mission files.

"Ah, if it isn't the fox demon's big brother. What? Come to enact revenge for him?" Mizuki has a rather boisterous personality, and cocky too.

I merely nod and point my bone sword at him, "As a matter of fact yes, this bone is from the denses level of calcium my body can produce, it will find comfort meeting your throat." Mizuki actually backs away from my calm proclamation, "Did you expect me to say that I'm here to make you turn yourself in? No, I am not. I am here to rid of you so that you do not become a threat to Otouto later on." The twins back away, seemingly afraid of me. It must be my eyes, Ukon and Sakon alway say that I have scary eyes when I am focused on my brothers.

Mizuki's cocky face twisted into one of pure rage, "Don't mock me, you brat!" I am not mocking you, I am stating that I will kill you, there is a difference. Orochimaru must have given the man a curse mark or a medicine, as his body morphed into one of an anthropomorphic tiger, "DIE!"

Words and actions are two entirely different subjects, according to Mizuki's claims, I should be dead. But my actions spoke louder than his words, as the moment he came close to me, the bone sword lodged itself right in the softest part of his next and through his spinal cord. The tiger man falls to the ground, dead at an instant.

The twins slowly began to back away, fearing for their lives when I looked at them, "Stay there. My mission was to kill Mizuki, you two will return to prison." Obediently staying in one spot as more shinobi arrive at the scene, one of them being Nii-sama.

Nii-sama took one look at the bloody mess that was Mizuki before giving me a tight hug, "You did a good job Kimimaro, you ended a threat while also making sure he did not suffer, un." I have a feeling Nii-sama would have made him suffer. (AN: My beta has informed me that Mizuki apparently was hard to beat/kill in the anime… I'm going with the logic that Kimimaro's bones are special, considering he had the capability to overpower Gaara when sick.)

I felt pride swell up inside me at the praise, after reporting to Shizune about the mission and watching the twins getting taken away, Nii-sama took me out to barbecue for dinner. I love these moments where I can have Nii-sama all to myself or with Otouto… And not with Itachi.

The rest of year 0 (AN:Sorry I got lazy and this chapter got really long)

Today is beautiful day. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, I can feel the children running around playing shinobi… and I swear, THIS UCHIHA IS TRYING TO KILL ME!

"FUCKING SH-" I was cut short when a certain Lord McPoofhair Uchiha slammed his foot into my chest and sent me flying into some trees.

Yep… beautiful day indeed.

"Your stance was off and you are not moving to dodge. We need to work on your speed Deidara." Why I agreed to train with Madara, I will never know. This has been going on ever since I was able to keep up with Gai after being released from the hospital.

Getting myself back onto my feet, I had to dodge yet another attack from Madara. He doesn't even have his sharingan activated, yet he's still kicking my ass! Granted, he is considered to be one of the most powerful shinobi to ever exist, "I'm trying to dodge you! I never had to grow up in a war-torn environment at a young ag- YIPE!" Barely dodged one of Madara's fists, at least I was able to dodge that!

"No excuses. You're getting faster but not at a rate I'm happy with. When you go on missions, I want you wearing weights." He folds his arms while my shoulders slump, "Are we clear?"

I bow my head, with an exasperated sigh, "Yes Madara-sama, un." And then I got a foot connecting with my stomach.

"We will continue next week, do not let your guard down for anything." Madara returns to his coffin and vanishes from sight.

I wince while rubbing the bruises that are most likely forming on my body, "Glad to know you care so much, un. I can feel the love in my heart." Actually, I think that was just a bruise. I should go see Sakura about these.

Year 1, February

"Eh? Ambassador?" The confusion was evident in my voice as I stood in front of Tsunade. I was summoned to her office this morning, usually she just has someone drop off a series of missions for me to do throughout the week. Rarely does she request I enter her office anymore… mostly because I scare clients.

"Yes… Yagura was killed and replaced with a new Mizukage. For some unexplained reason, this one requested you to come to Kirigakure to start an alliance with Konoha… along with one shinobi of your choosing." Tsunade seemed both disgruntled and impressed at the same time, I guess me going means less paperwork for her to deal with.

I tilt my head, "Okay… I think I know who I want to come with me. Who is the new Mizukage, un?" Honestly it was a stupid question. But with how much I may have potentially changed, it was best to ask first, jump to conclusions later.

Tsunade slaps down two travel papers, "Terumi Mei."

Several hours later

"So why am I your plus one?" Zabuza was hot on my tail on another chocobo as we headed for Kirigakure, "I thought Yagura ordered for my head the moment I step into the Land of Water."

So he doesn't know that Yagura is dead yet, "You'll see, just tell any Kiri shinobi we meet that you're with me, un." When we arrived at the gate, the same shinobi from last time greeted us. When he opened his mouth to bark orders I hold my hand up, "Shut up pup before I tell Mizukage-sama that you kept them waiting, un."

Recognizing my voice, the now pale shinobi quickly escorts me to the Mizukage building, I could tell Zabuza was impressed but also confused by how quickly I was able to get work done.

I happily skip into the Mizukage office to see Mei lounging on a rather lovely looking sofa. The entire room now looks like it received the woman's touch and not a single ANBU in sight. The only other person in the room was Ao, guess Chojuro wasn't in Mei's service yet.

I whistle my approval, "This is quite the upgrade Mei-neechan! Yagura had a bunch of ANBU in the room when I talked with him, un." I sat down when Mei motioned to a chair. Zabuza was still awkwardly standing in the hallway like an idiot.

Mei giggles softly, "Ao is a dear comrade of mine. I wanted to show that I trusted Konoha, for the sake of Kirigakure." Ao seemed both disgusted at my informality with Mei, and disgruntled that she was letting it happen.

I nod, "Makes sense, I'm not the best at politics, but I hope Kirigakure and Konoha become stronger allies. Oh!" I wave Zabuza over, who shuffles into the room, "I brought Zabuza as a second ambassador, un."

Zabuza nods to Mei, then looks at me, "Kid, I'm lost. I thought we were going to speak with the Mizukage, who is a shrimp. That's a beautiful woman." Wow Zabuza, blunt aren't we?

Mei almost instantly perked up at the compliment, "Thank you Zabuza-san, I am the Godaime Mizukage, Terumi Mei. I fought Yagura in a battle and won." Oh Kami… she's batting her eyelashes.

"Strong and beautiful? This I gotta hear." Zabuza plops into a chair, "Yagura was the strongest shinobi in this village, what did you do to kill him?"

Mei crosses her covered leg over her exposed leg, her posture relaxed yet confident, "Well, you see-" She seems to remember that a 16 year old was present in the room, "Ao, escort Deidara around the village, answer all his questions and discuss negotiation terms with him. I will determine them myself later."

Ao sputters for a moment, "But-" He stops when Mei gives him the ultimate death glare, "Y-yes." He motions me to follow, which I do after a moment. Only one thought process could form in my head while leaving the room.

'Ship, ship ship ship. I ship it so hard!'

A few hours later

Kiri was a rather lovely place… in a misty, gloomy weather kind of lovely. Reminded me of my past life. Ao and I mostly talked about Kiri's future plans to recover from the civil war, we both agreed that it was best that their genin do not participate in the next chunin exams. He even took me to the academy, and I spoke with the senseis about how Konoha handles graduation.

Needless to say, Kirigakure now has a new graduation system. In order to graduate you must be able to walk on water and perform 3 basic genin jutsus or 1 genin jutsu and 1 elemental jutsu. I didn't really understand the walking on water bit, but it was better than having children slaughtering each other. Plus it promotes good chakra control.

Though, I think neither of us expected what we were witnessing when we returned to the building.

"So Zabuza-san, what do you do on your free time?"

"I usually spend my time with Haku, training him usually."

"Haku?"

"My son. Adoptive. He has ice release and he was orphaned at a young age, I… used him as a tool most of his life, now I'm trying to make up for it by being a good father to the boy."

"My my, you have a soft spot I see."

Oh Kami, the chemistry between them was evident. Zabuza and Mei were swapping stories while drinking tea, only acknowledging us in passing.

This is going to be a long stay.

Year 1, March

I returned home to Konoha a week after being in Kirigakure so I could spend more time with Kimimaro and Itachi, though I chose to drop whatever I was doing when I received a letter… I think I was doing laundry, I'm not sure.

I nearly scared the daylights out of Haku when I threw his apartment door open, "Pack your things! I need to take you to Kirigakure, un."

Haku looks at me confused, but begins packing nonetheless, "Deidara-san? Is everything okay?" He has a good reason for being concerned, I am practically jumping where I am standing.

I let out an excited squeak, "Yes! Now come on, you gotta meet your new mom!" I was so giddy that I forgot to add in an "un."

He pauses, a dazed look in his eyes, "New… mom? Zabuza-san… got married?"

I nod frantically, it was a fast paced relationship, but Zabuza and Mei fit together like a jigsaw puzzle. Zabuza admired Mei's strength and independence while Mei… I honestly am not sure what she sees in him. But I have a feeling it has to do with Zabuza's honesty and because of Haku. She was more than happy with the idea of taking the boy in as her son.

"Well, not yet. They wanted to hold off the ceremony until you arrived and got to know Mei first." I take a deep breath to calm down, "Sorry, I'm just excited. I know Mei will never truly replace the mother you had… but…"

Haku waves his hand to stop me, "No, don't apologize. I… never expected to have a mother again… I never expected to have a father ether… and yet I can call Zabuza-san my father, and now he's found love… I'm happy…" Well, he looks to be close on tears, but I guess it's out of joy.

I gently hug Haku, "Come on, let's get you in something cute." He doesn't even argue as I take him kimono shopping after sealing all of his and Zabuza's things in scrolls. Guess this apartment will be empty now.

I ended up getting Haku in a beautiful night sky-blue kimono that was patterned to look like the aurora borealis was wrapped around it. With a plain dark blue obi. I allowed him to keep his hair up in its normal fashion, and we made it to Kirigakure in record time.

Mei and Zabuza met us at the gate, though Zabuza was staring at Haku, "Deidara… Haku is a boy. This is a girl's kimono." Thank you for enlightening me on such a new fact! I had no idea that this flat-chested human being was in fact a male! Gee, I dress him up all the time and you are finally noticing your own son's gender? Some father you are!

I shrug with a grin, "Girl clothes look best on him, I don't see any problems, un." The swords master chose not to argue with my statement, instead he gives the boy a gentle embrace and a quick apology for the sudden news.

Mei approaches Haku, examining him for a moment, before her eyes lit up. Definitely maternal love at first sight.

She extends her hand to the boy, "I am Terumi Mei, you can just call me Mei if you wish. I hope we can get along."

Haku stares at Mei in awe, before shaking her hand with a polite bow, "Y-yes, pleased to meet you. My name is Yuki… ah, Momochi Haku." He blushes at his mistake. That only seemed to set Mei off.

Without warning, the woman grabs Haku and smothers him in an embrace, "You are adorable! It's official! I am keeping you!" The only reason Haku isn't dying of embarrassment is because I would smother him at every chance. The main difference is, Mei is… ahem… larger. But Haku is tall enough to not be smothered by her.

Zabuza had to carefully remove Haku from Mei's grasp after people began to stare. We retreated into a shrine so Mei and Zabuza can have their ceremony in private, I was there as the witness. It wasn't a big ceremony like Mei dreamt about, but I think she didn't mind she got a husband and a son all in one day.

… Kami their kids will be fucking adorable. I call godfather!

Near the end of the month

"With everything you have done for Konoha… not to mention your actual skills, I'm promoting you to ANBU. Your code name is Okami." Tsunade sets down a plain white wolf ANBU mask, "I thought you would like to take creative liberties with the design."

My eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas, bowing respectfully to Tsunade I grab the mask and the ANBU uniform and head to the Uchiha compound. I didn't feel like buying paint, and Sasuke's would go bad in another year anyway. Since I'm going to be Okami, I decided to paint the mask to look like Amaterasu from… well, Okami.

Putting on the mask and uniform I admire myself in a mirror. I was able to keep my iconic ponytail and my bangs nestled perfectly against the ears of the mask. Now for the fun part. After getting the ANBU tattoo I made my way to the apartments, and snuck up behind Itachi, who was enjoying some tea.

Placing a kunai against his throat, my voice transformed into one that sounded similar to Tobirama in all actuality, "Uchiha Itachi, you are being summoned for questioning." The fact I can hide my verbal tic makes me very happy.

Itachi tenses slightly, "And what am I being questioned for?"

I smirked behind my mask, "Why you ate your boyfriend's pocky supply." I remove the kunai from his neck so I could burst into laughter.

Itachi looks at me with a WTF expression, before tilting his head, "Dei?"

"Fooled ya huh?" I clear my throat to return my voice to normal and remove the mask, "I got promoted and I wanted to scare you, un." I place a hand on my hip, letting the one holding my mask hang.

Itachi blinks a few times before sighing and nodding, "I've gotten so use to your chakra… are you sure you want to be an ANBU? The things they do…"

"Minus watching over the village from a control center*, I already do everything they do. It's just now the village elders can't get on their high horses when I'm caught reading S-rank information." I walk to my boyfriend and put a finger under his chin, "Like what you see, un?" I know wondering eyes when I see them.

The Uchiha lifts his head to remove his chin from my hold and turns back to his tea, "Hn."

He loves it.

Year 1, May 5th

It's my birthday, but it doesn't seem all that special, especially with how the past few weeks have been.

"What's the matter, Dei-chan?" Anko and several jounins are at a tea house with me enjoying sweets, and then there's Kakashi always managing to finish his food when we all blink. Damn him.

"Itachi keeps leaving the village and never tells me where he's going… he even manages to lose me when I chase him. I didn't even know that was possible! Kimimaro followed him one time… but he won't tell me what Itachi's doing, un…" I sigh into my tea, the fact both of them were gone by the time I woke up broke my heart. I don't usually care about my birthday, but it's my day off. I want to be with my family.

Kurenai decides to be the voice of reason, "Maybe he has missions?"

I shake my head then point at my exposed upper arm, "ANBU remember? I checked the records, nothing matched."

Another jounin woman, I don't recognize her but she's a friend of Kurenai, threw in her 2 cents, "He could be cheating on you. Happened to me before." Even the people in the kitchen stopped making sound.

No one else moved as Anko and I looked at each other for a solid minute… before we both burst into hysterical laughter.

"I-Itachi! Uchiha Itachi! Cheating on Dei-chan?! Good one!"

I have tears in my eyes, "I don't even think that's in his vocabulary!"

The jounin was confused, "It's possible, and this Kimimaro guy might be helping him."

Now everyone was laughing, even the workers sounded like they were dying. Kakashi slammed his face into the table to hold in his laughter, while Anko and I were on the floor.

Kurenai was the first to recover, "You may not know this, but Kimimaro is Deidara's brother. The kid worships the ground he walks on, and he'd sooner kill Itachi than let him cheat on his big brother." The jounin's face turns bright red with embarrassment, hestily apologizing to me.

I wave her off, "It's all good. I needed a laugh, un." I pay for my stuff and stand, "I'm going to go talk with Itachi."

Anko pats my back, "Good luck!" She winks at me… Anko, we are not doing anything. Birthday or not.

As I was walking back home, I bump into a woman, "Gah! Sorry." I help her up, taking note of her bandaged hands. She must have a hands-on job.

She giggles and rubs the back of her neck, "It's okay, I wasn't paying attention. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm looking for Uchiha Itachi, do you know where I can find him?"

I think my brain stopped working, I do a once over of the woman. She was rather pretty in a hard working way: standard figure for this world, same with her height and her hair was a dark chocolate brown pulled into a bun, most likely to avoid work accidents in whatever her occupation was. But overall she was pretty, in an average way… Hinata and Sakura were prettier, "Yeah uh… he's…" I shift my foot to sense my surroundings, "The dark wood apartment complex about 100 meters west of the Hyuuga estate, first door on the second floor. If you get lost just ask someone with a headband 'where is Deidara's house?' and they'll be more than happy to point you there, un." I honestly have no idea why I basically just gave this random ass girl my address, but I am keeping in good faith that this is just an innocent conversation, maybe she's a client for an escort mission-

"Oh thank you!" She bows in thanks with a cutesy giggle, lord I have to ask.

I tilt my head, "What exactly is your business with Uchiha-san? He usually does not spend time with women unless it's one of Deidara-san's students." The fact that this lady obviously has no idea who I am makes me suspicious. Then again, my hair IS tied in a braid with my bangs pulled back by a hair clip, because it kept getting in my dango sauce, with a medical eyepatch over my closed eye so I would not be tempted to open it.

She puts a hand over her mouth, "Oh! Itachi-san made me swear not to tell, so I must keep his secrets. But I have to say that he is such a sweet man, and rather handsome too." Lady! You are not helping your situation, or making me not think something is up! She is giving me all the wrong messages, "I could stare into his eyes all day, and his voice is beautiful, I love it whenever he comes to my shop... Ah, forgive me, what is your name by the way?"

I take a deep breath, my hair slowly begins to float due to contained anger, "Deidara." I don't even take a second glance at her panicked expression as I move around her and stormed off to the forested area to calm down, ripping out the hair accessories and eyepatch in the process.

My mind became a broken record, 'It's all a misunderstanding, all a misunderstanding, talk to Itachi, talk to Itachi. Do not do anything rash, there is a perfectly good explanation.' My rant was cut short because I ran into a tree. Yelling in frustration, I focused my chakra into my fist, hitting the tunk and knocking the tree down to the ground, "Why the fuck am I acting like this?! I'm suppose to be rational and think things with a logical standpoint! Why do I feel threatened by some girl just because Itachi has met her before?!"

I lean against another tree before sliding down and tucking my legs to my chest, I need to calm down so I can talk with Itachi civilly. Who knows what may spew out of my mouth while I'm this riled up.

I stayed in that spot even when it got dark, slowly breathing and thinking. My head snapped up when a hand gently ghosted over it, I ended up locking eyes with the man I have grown to love.

"You've been missing since this afternoon. Wanna talk about it?" He crouches to my height, keeping his eyes locked on mine.

I sigh, "Sorry… I… it's just…" I inhale, "You keep leaving without telling me where you're going, even when you don't have a mission. No one will tell me what is going on. Some stupid coworker of mine suggested you were cheating on me-" I laugh at Itachi's raised eyebrow, "I know, stupid huh? I went to go talk with you when I ran into this girl who kept gushing about you and wanted to see you and I…I got jealous okay, un?!" I slam my face in my knees to hide the redness.

Things were quiet, and then I hear a snort, then a chuckle, then the moment I peeked at Itachi, the Uchiha was busting out in laughter. This was the freakiest thing ever, I was mildly concerned that this was a genjutsu because Itachi almost never laughs.

Itachi wipes away a tear in his eye, smiling, "Sorry, I'm finding it amusing how you are trying your hardest to keep your emotions in check for me, when usually you would respond violently to your anger. That girl was the daughter and apprentice for a jeweler I was meeting with. She... well…"

"She has a massive crush on you because Uchiha are naturally hot and you are also a gentleman, I know I know, un." I roll my eye. I should have seen that coming, almost every girl that meets Itachi gets a crush on him.

He nods, "Exactly that, she was sent by the jeweler to deliver my order. Though I wished he had sent his son instead so I didn't have the awkward encounter of your brother returning home with her excessively flirting. He scared her off."

I tilt my head, "Order?" My heart nearly stops when Itachi pulls out a small box, I've seen too many romances to know where this is going.

"I'm not to good at these kinds of things, and I know you have a love-hate relationship with cheesy moments. But I love you, so much that I want to spend the rest of my life with you and being able to call you mine. So, to make this speech short… will you marry me?" Itachi opens the box to reveal a silver band with a sapphire in the shape of a crescent moon in the metal.

I don't even remember moving, but the next thing I know, I tackled Itachi to the ground kissing him, "Yes! Yes yes, a million times yes!" I'm not sure if I should be laughing or crying. I think I'm doing a mixture of both at the moment while Itachi struggled to get me to be still long enough to put the ring on my finger, "Oh Kami… I thought this world didn't use wedding rings."

"We don't, but I noticed that everyone in your memories that were married had rings on and that your world has stones that correlated with your birth month. Your past life was a sapphire. I was planning on picking the green stone that matches with May… but I know you're not a fan of green." He kisses my forehead, "I wanted to, at the very least, give you the one tradition you missed out on."

Looking at the band, I notice something strange about it, "I can feel your chakra in the stone." I tilt my head in confusion when Itachi removes the band from my finger and shows me a seal on the inside of the metal.

"That's why I was always gone. This jeweler has a kekkei genkai that allows him to fuse chakra into stones. That sapphire is also a way to make sure I am alive. As long as my heart still beats, it won't break, seemed only fitting I had one made using your chakra." He shows his hand, and on his own ring finger, is a matching silver band. But instead of a sapphire, or hell a pearl which is birthstone. His was a bright red ruby, just a simple one cut in a circle… Nevermind it's suppose to be the sun. My boy- fiance, is turning into a cheese platter at this rate.

Now I'm even more confused, "How did you get my chakra, un?"

Itachi chuckles, "Kimimaro snuck one of your C1s to me after he learned that I wanted to propose to you. We were able to extract your chakra and put it in the ring."

I sigh, even though Kimimaro hates Itachi, I guess when it comes to my happiness my beloved baby brother will do whatever he can.

Itachi soon stands and helps me to my feet, "Come on, we'll need to tell your brother and friends the news." He walks but stops and looks at me, "Oh and Dei?"

I tilt my head, "Hm?"

"Happy birthday."


Oh my god, finally these two are going to get MARRIED! I understand you readers have waited a long time, but do you guys know how hard it is, as the author, to have to wait and wait and wait to actually have the stories permission to write a damn marriage?! GAAAAAHHHHHHH! Also Zabuza and Mei are married now! I was squealing while writing it!

Ahem, anyway, this chapter was fun to write. I had the funeral bit pre-written a few weeks back, so that's why it's so long. I was gonna do more filler stuff but… no, I hated how most of them turned out. A reader named Ebony sword requested the Kurenai-Yakumo filler bit WAYYYYY near the beginning of the story, but I just could not write it and enjoy what I made. Sorry about that hun. ^^"

*According to the Itachi light novels, ANBU watch over the entire village via hidden cameras. So Dei gets to spy on people.

Next part will have the wedding, the honeymoon (No lemons!), the Suna chunin exams, Uzushio, and several character interactions in that order. I may or may not have one or two more pairings show up next chapter. :D

As always, reviews are loved and I will see you all next week for part 2.

Bye!