Chapters: 5/9

A/N: I changed the definition of their friendship mentioned in the previous chapters. Platonic is more accurate to describe their relationship but I didn't know it until now, poor my vocab_(: _ㄥ)_

A LOT of setting in this chapter is for the plots purpose and please don't mix it up with both Hetalia the original work and the real world.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything mentioned in the story but the story itself!


Emil soon regrets his decision the next morning. It's not a normal time to get up, and Emil thinks it should be the reason he bumps on the furniture several times and makes a lot of noise. The sound is too annoying, even wakes Lukas up to warn him—he throws a pillow onto his younger brother. But there's one thing Emil has to clarify that he's not intend to provoke his brother again when he shuts the door accidently. He feels like he's still not clear-headed enough when he rides his bike, so it's impossible for him to behave like a brat just because he gets up early in the morning. Emil suddenly feels worried about Mathias—a grumpy Lukas in the morning is hard to get along with. Emil yawns, mumbling something like I'm sorry to his brothers while he has been far away from his home. He rubs his eyes, hurrying on his way when the traffic light turns green.

"I regret accepting the job."

This is the first thing Eduard tells him when Emil finally arrives at the planetarium. He could make sure that Eduard is as tired as him after he witnesses the guy pushes over a row of bikes when they're locking their own bikes. Waiting for his friend picking up the pieces, Emil can't help but wondering; how did they both get there in a safe way?

He follows Eduard into the building, just finds they're the only two in the huge space. The day has dawned outside though, the sunlight doesn't spread into galleries. Emil looks around. he can merely see the exit signs in the end of those corridors. The hall is totally dark, dark enough as if a universe truly existing here. "What do you preview today?" he asks.

"English narrator for the star maps program this month. The staff here is on vacation, so my teacher asked me to give it a try." Eduard turns back, reminding Emil to take notice of those hanging exhibits, "Would you refine my speech later?"

"Got it. You plan all the things and invite me to join you at the final step."

Eduard only answers him with chuckle, keeps walking ahead until stopping at the double door of the theatre. He pushes the doors open and a huge dome room silently appears in front of them. They're surrounded by a giant, pale hemisphere. The wall fittings hidden in the corners and stairs slowly enhance the light. The glow gradually turns the cool gray full of the room into warm and sunset colors. Emil wanders into the seating, looking up to the top of the dome.

He's tapped on the shoulder suddenly. Taking a cold glimpse of his back, Emil finds that Eduard makes a gesture for sorry, "I guess you may need a nap. Find your seat first.

"You know it'll be meaningless to sleep here." He talks back quietly. But Eduard doesn't hear that, he just walks upstairs in a hurry. Emil looks at his back, noticing that there are some staffs of the museum waiting for his friend at the highest place.

He walks alongside the stair Eduard passed by, searching for a seat he can curl up his body comfortably. He chooses the one located in the middle rows in the end. Taking off his backpack, Emil lays down on the tilted chair and holds his pack tightly. The dim lights are turned off one after another. Emil closes his eyes, hearing some buzzing noise from the speakers. The sounds soon turn into a male voice Emil has been familiar with. "Testing now…, üks, kaks, kolm…," the voice is clean and soothing as always, but now speaking in a language Emil has never known, "Tere hommikust, see on von Bock…, okei…. Let's start." Emil opens his eyes, but just staring at the scene calmly. The silent, dark blue widens above him, stars sparkling in the night; this is not the first time Emil watches an astronomy show, since his brother has been dedicating a few years to the research field. He has to admit that he pays little attention to Eduard's speech because he has contact with such type of knowledge for years. The starry night is gradually darkening, only a few brighter stars are left in the end. Lots of white lines appear on the dome screen, connecting the shiny dots like a connecting puzzle game. Some figures in the ancient mythology are added later. Emil looks at all these changes though, his mind is just sinking into the memory. He remembers one day in his elementary school; he and his classmates did a special experiment that day. They spent almost an afternoon building a volcano model.

He forgot how his teacher make the "magma" looks real, only remembering the red liquid climbed along the clay mountain he built hard, and finally spouted from the gap, flowing and covering the grass slope made by his friend. All his classmates were getting excited at the moment, except for Emil, he was still stunned by the red colors weaving beneath the surface, keeping quiet and couldn't look away from the colorful layers.

.

The line drawings fade, the few stars are scattered by the Milky Way, uncountable white blots splash over the dome in the blink of an eye. The narration is slowly muted in a gentle piano tune. Emil sits straight up, intending to look back while Eduard has come and sit next to him.

"How's my performance?"

"Uh?" Emil stops for a moment, realizing that he has no excuse for getting distracted, "sorry…, I didn't focus on it."

"It's okay. I'm glad you feel relaxed here." Eduard says, waving at the control room behind them, "Mrs. Janssen said we could stay here for a while, but we've to leave at 20 minutes before the opening time."

Emil gives a glance at his watch. They have about an hour.

"So, as for now, would you mind if I say something here?"

"What? I mean… about what?"

"About my home," Emil turns to Eduard soon, but Eduard doesn't make eye contact with him, "Do you know Tartu?"

"…Your hometown?"

"Yeah, wanna take a trip?"

"That's not the point." He sits back in his chair, knocking the armrest a little impatiently, "What do you want to say?"

"I escaped from there." Eduard answers him a smirk though, "Sounds like a spoiled teenager, is it?"

"…Why did you escape?"

"Because I was refused." Emil sits frozen. He's about to jump and look at Eduard, but he forces himself to focus on the night sky. Eduard doesn't notice that, just continuing his words, "My family opposed to everything I wished for, such as my hobbies, my high school, and my career. They think I shouldn't decide those things on my own…. Hey, imagine a situation, you gave your child the best education in your opinion, hoping he or she succeeded in school, in the future, to praise your family. But one day the brat just told you I don't want you to treat me like that, I don't want to waste my time on those things 'I do for your own good' then left you and studied in a young university which just reorganized within years, and planned to get a degree you thought it's not 'useful' at all. The brat even lives abroad now. How do you think? Do you feel it's like a sense of betrayal?"

"I don't agree with the thought of useless degree."

"Neither do I. But my family is as stubborn as me. They think UT is better than all school located in Tallinn. Why do I insist on studying there when I have ability to apply to the elite university in their minds? I could tell you that up to now, my family still rejects my decision…. I've worked so hard to show them I wouldn't let them being looked down on although I didn't follow their advice. Unfortunately, I was overwhelmed by their disapproval. From then on, I started to wonder, if Tallinn is not far enough away, what about moving to a place more distant from them? At least I'm good at, um, being a good student? So I had confidence to make my plan work…. Look, I'm sitting beside you right now. I win the bet. How lucky I am."

"Yeah, yeah, a gifted exchange student." Emil replies mindlessly, then pauses for a second, "but don't you think it's another way to show your family you're right?"

"No, I'm just an escapist. The only thing I want to do is to get rid of them, the farther the better."

"You're so straightforward."

"It's true anyway."

"Do you ever consider going back?" He thinks of what Eduard once said; he'll do whatever to stay in Copenhagen.

"Yes, I do. After all, I love my birthplace." Eduard's voice sounds a little tired. Emil hears a tiny sound like taking off the glasses. "Maybe Tartu is getting old. She's not like Tallinn, willing to embrace the sea, embrace the world. But to me, she gives me a sense of belonging, which is impossible to be replaced by any other place. I know I belong to the city, and I'm also proud of being born there, but it shouldn't conflict with the tiredness I have sometimes. Like now, I feel tired more than eager to stay there, but it doesn't mean the two feelings won't end in a draw, and maybe my passion for my hometown will come back one day. Sounds not bad, is it?"

"Feeling tired… more than feeling eager to stay?"

Emil doesn't get answer this time. Eduard sounds like he'd not like to keep talking, his calm voice fading away, one of his arm rising and covering his face while the other one just resting on the chair. His glasses are held slightly in his fingers. Emil can't stop wondering, is it struggling for a long time or lack of sleep to cause Eduard's tiredness. He wants to touch Eduard's hand if it can comfort him, but he doesn't even know what motivates him to do that.

"Oh, by the way, I'm still willing to be your tour guide if you really want to visit Tartu."

"Or you could be a host for your new travel channel." Emil talks back. They turn to look at each other at the same time, under the fictional night. It feels like all their thoughts hidden behind the eyes could be read easily. Emil thinks, being about to avoid the gaze, but a sound in his mind's just trying to convince him, he should leave something in return for their relationship, "…why do you tell me all of this?" His voice is awkward though, he looks someone in the eye at least.

"I thought you want to know."

Emil finally turns away. What a god damn embarrassing answer.

He hears the annoying laughter as expected, almost making him want to punch the guy. Eduard spends a few seconds stopping his laughter, "Hey, I'm honest with you," he explains after Emil turns to him again with slightly blushing, "After all, you looked very curious after we finished the work in archive room that day, but you also looked hesitant to ask me. I don't know it was because you were scared by me or you were worried about something, after all it was the first time I showed my worst status in front of you, if I remembered correctly…. Back to the topic, I think it's better to find a chance to talk about it, and tell you it's okay you ask me anything. Hoping you won't see me as a self-centered guy."

"Well sometimes you gave me the impression. By the way, we finished the archive work one month ago, I don't think you're a dull person who has no reaction for such a long time."

"No, I'm not. I didn't mention it because you're too slow to warm up to people."

"Yeah, right."

"There's another reason," the chairs squeak, Eduard sits up a little straighter, taking his glasses on, "besides your shyness, you look like you have no energy often, and it's not quite hard to notice your lack of confidence from, um, average negative people. It's just my intuition, I don't know if you were asked before…. You give me a feeling that you're always a foreigner. The loneliness is too hard to ignore so I can't help but being attracted by it."

"Foreigner?"

"Um… in fact, I think it's more accurate to describe it as a stranger, never feeling fit in with the surroundings no matter where you go."

Emil holds his body more tightly, pretending to not hear anything except for the noise from his squeezed backpack.

"Am I right?"

"…Hm."

"As for why I nag all of these, you look like you're bothered by some upset thoughts for a while, and hurry to find a way to be released from it. I think it'll be great you don't feel helpless anymore so sorry for sometimes being a busybody. I can't always read the tangle in your mind completely but I can't either leave you alone." Eduard says, leaning his arms against the armrest of Emil's side, "It feels like I find a resonance with you though your situation is a little different from mine. I'm not pretty sure but, you're kinda like a combination of inferiority and strong personality. The two opposite thoughts make you feel struggled always, and bring you the anxiety you have no idea to deal with. You're chasing a solution you don't even know to erase them all."

The dark sky was bleached. The warm light is rising from the corners and slowly wrapping up the white dome.

"Emil, did you ever think you've already found your answer? What you need now is just a little bit more courage, to prove that you deserve what you dream."

"…Did you know? Sometimes I really want to say, I have no idea to get along with you."

Emil stands up and looks Eduard back from a high angle—it's rare to him to be honest.

"Haha, sounds better than your first sight."

Eduard also stands up, picking his pack up and walking to the exit first. Emil stays for a while, then runs and catches up with Eduard, "But, there's another thing I need… I want to tell you," he says, approaching the door handle before Eduard.

"Thank you."

He rushes into the hall before getting any reply, following the direction boards he could barely see, going straight and turning without hesitation. He doesn't even know whether Eduard is walking behind him, his footsteps are too heavy and dull, but he'd make sure that his partner would realize his thought.

Emil turns back, as he's looking forward to, meeting a warm smile within his sight.


A/N2: Basic Estonian words below, thanks for google and youtube (collapse)

Üks, kaks, kolm: one, two, three in Estonian.

Tere hommikust, see on von Bock.: "Good morning, this is von Bock." in Estonian.

UT: the University of Tartu. It's the oldest university in Estonia, established by King Gustavus Adolphus of Sweden in 1632.

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