King Kong Meets Garden State
Andrew Largeman (Braff): Hi it's me Andrew Largeman (Braff). I sure do like our garden. What do you think?
Padmé Amidala: Yes, it's great. (It starts raining) Oh, rain?
Andrew Largeman (Braff): Sure looks like it! (both start laughing)
(a rumbling sound occurs)
Padmé Amidala: Did you hear that? (rumbling continues) Sounds like some sort of heavy footfalls, such as that of a large creature-perhaps over 85 feet high?
Andrew Largeman (Braff): Then that means-!?
King Kong emerges from the nearby garden-roaring very loudly and beating his chest. He is very large and in charge and the two actors cower in fear. This is understandable because, uh, King Kong is quite fearsome and, uh, I think anyone in that situation would react as such. Of course King Kong is also quite cool and a lot of us in the King Kong community would relish in the opportunity to, uh, see this ape in person.
Andrew Largeman (Braff): What are we supposed to do in face of this beast? (he roars) Why, that sounds just like a lion's roar played backwards at half speed!
Padmé Amidala: I hope he doesn't kill us along with thirty nine people, since that would be a total matching King Kong (2005) and one more than in King Kong (1933).
Andrew Largeman (Braff): That reminds me how in the Broadway show, where Kong is the unwilling star, the "native dancers" are dressed in the same costumes as the Skull Island natives in the original 1933 King Kong (1933). (The men wear furry gorilla costumes, and the women wear grass skirts and coconut brassieres.) The theater orchestra (led by composer Howard Shore) plays sections from Max Steiner's score from the original film. During the "native dance" number, the orchestra plays the music from Steiner's score that is heard in the original film during the Skull Island natives' sacrifice dance. When the fake "Ann Darrow" (played by Julia Walshaw, Naomi Watts's stand-in) appears on stage before Kong, the theater orchestra plays the music from Steiner's score that is heard in the original film when Kong first appears before Fay Wray.
King Kong roars and the cliff they're sitting on cracks, causing both to plummet in the ocean. They scream as two strong, beefy hands reach down and grasp them, saving them from the perilous oceanic rock farm below.
Padmé Amidala: Kong….. Saved us?!
Andrew Largeman (Braff): As director of this film, I originally didn't include King Kong at all! (Kong drops Braff into the salty ocean water, shattering into a million pieces)
Padmé Amidala: Looks like Kong is King! (both laugh) (King Kong kisses Padmé Amidala and the screen fades to black in a circle, but it pops back open and you see Kong wink before it close again. The words "The End" appear followed by "...?" and then "Summer 2019")
Thank you for reading my work. Mr. Braff, if you are interested in rectifying your disgrace of a film, please contact me on twitter at kingkongfan420 and I'd be happy to help you rewrite this to be more Kong-centric.
Have a King Kong kind of day!
