Did you lovelies miss me? :D I'm baaaaaacccccckkkkkk! I wasn't planning up updating this week, but I got far enough ahead in the fic that I was comfortable enough to resume updates. Not to mention since I learned what my tests are gonna be like this week for finals, I'm pretty good with schoolwork.

So this chapter takes place during the Sanbi arc… don't worry about trying to remember things, I only briefly go into the arc because I also forgot most of the stuff that went on. Just remember who Guren and Yukimaru are and you're golden! In return for not doing the Sanbi arc well enough, there is a lovely side story at the end that I think you guys will enjoy. Along with a… "special" OC at the beginning.

Thank you all for the continued support even when I stop updating. And thank you for the fave, follows and reviews, it was nice seeing the email notifications whenever I was stressed from school.

707cloud: Oh trust me, the elders respect Deidara and will be afraid if they upset Kimimaro.

Asia1990: I'm glad that you guys seem pretty okay with me not doing Boruto, it's not AS bad as I thought it was after I had watched a couple of episodes during Christmas, but Deidara still hates it nonetheless and I really don't want to catch up with it anytime soon.

Shinobi of the Hidden Leaf: Lot of doom in this fic huh? And this fic is life altering, I am considering having writing be a side passion after I start my main career and this helps me practice my creative writing. Plus, it helps keep me sane lol.

VenaHope: Glad Pein made you laugh, certainly amused me and my beta. I do plan on having Mitsuki being born, that's for certain and it's one of the only reasons why Deidara has not gotten rid of the curse hickey on his neck. Boruto is a little shit and frankly I don't know why Kishimoto tried to make a character that was like Naruto but a brat, just give him his own personality for crying out loud. Sasuke will end the series with the same eyes has the manga/anime, and as for Jiraiya… uhhh… I'm struggling with that chapter, so whatever I do with that chapter plz don't hate me. ^^"

Pr1nc3ss K3nny: Good luck on your fic hun! I know you'll do good! I think Hidan was more like he's always had doubt in his God, so he wants to die to see if Jashin truly exists or not, and since he's never been able to die that just kept proving that Jashin was real. Dexter is a good distraction btw, love that show.

cdog1019: Ahhhh, whoopies ^^". Tbh I had no real reason for Hashirama to be there besides me just wanting him there, so if it felt like I sandwiched him in there… it's cause I did. Also I did not know about that review function, thanks for telling me about it!

ShortcakeX: I'm glad you've been enjoying the fic for that long, nice to see that you dropped in and said hi! I'm too stubborn to drop this fic, I'd never be able to look any of my other work the same knowing that I dropped a big project like this. :D

Bcp2005: He'll show up eventually, I have other plots to worry about before I even mess with him again.

MelonLordofMelons: *proceeds to eat cloud* Yum~. Meh, I don't think Deidara and Itachi would want Hidan messing up their fun times if you catch my drift ;)

princessbinas: I'm glad you're enjoying my SI fic, I try to make sure things are balanced and have reason behind them… except when they don't have reason and that's usually when my beta and I just have fun.

Miz. Chaos: Glad you're liking the story!

Reader: The ship name is known as MadaDei but I can see why you would think that, he does give off that vibe slightly. But really, Madara just sees Dei as a really stupid son/daughter and it makes him protective.

Purplebeian: Yeah those beginning chapters were before I got my friend to fully beta with me, fixed the hiccup. Welcome to the fic!

"Blah" - English

Warning: Swearing, violence, an OC, use of alcohol, drunk poetry, and teasing.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the movie Anastasia, my beta owns the poem used in this fic.


There was an overwhelming sense of giddiness emanating from my body. Tsunade had given me the mission of going to Kirigakure to inform Mei that Konoha would be capturing the Sanbi. It wasn't the fact that I'm going to Kiri that made me happy… no, nothing like that.

It was because this means the Sanbi arc was happening!

For some reason I just loved that arc, it dragged on for a while, but I tend to skip those bits. What I was excited for was potentially meeting Guren, and taking yet another skilled shinobi away from Orochimaru. Guren was my favorite filler character, I loved how artistically beautiful her jutsu were and the relationship between her and Yukimaru was just… ugh, I'm squealing. Good thing I'm on a bird.

"Deidara… why are you squealing?" Crap, I forgot I brought Madara along. He was in his Masato disguise, so his fox ears would twitch every once in a while.

I give him a cheeky grin, "I'm just excited to deal with the Sanbi. There's the high chance of meeting a shinobi with a cool kekkei genkai, un." It wasn't even a chance. The whole reason why this arc was happening still was because the Sanbi was irritated by something, and considering Kabuto's face is irritating enough… well, it had to be them.

Hopping off the bird when we reach Kiri, I fling my arms back so I can run into the village. The gatekeeper at this point has given up questioning my purpose for arriving to the village, he sees blond, he backs the fuck up.

Honestly, Mei was pretty okay with Konoha trying to capture the Sanbi. In her eyes, it was better that one of the Five Great Nations got to Isobu rather than the Akatsuki and seal it away in another dimension. Come to think of it… why was this seal never used again? In my opinion, it's only existence was to give fanfiction writers a reason to send Naruto characters into my old world to cause chaos to happen.

Okay, maybe I was a little too happy, but it's been nothing but depressing or aggravating events one after another. The fact that my favorite filler was just around the corner made my heart soar, nothing could kill this mood-

"OW!" I was so busy daydreaming that I ran into someone, causing me to land on my ass, "Gahhh…. Sorry, I wasn't paying attention."

A stern male voice spoke over me, "It's alright, you okay kid?" A hand grabs my arm and helps me stand. I hear a couple of guys snickering behind him, must be his teammates.

I nod brushing off my coat, "Don't call me kid, I'm 19 and an ANBU- huh?" I blink several times looking at the tall man in front of me. He had the same honey blond hair, just cut short and blue slanted eyes, Iwagakure clothes and headband. He looked like me… but older… and less attractive, he definitely had a more masculine look to him.

The man matched my shocked expression, his teammates suddenly became extremely cautious. Wait… don't fucking tell me… Is he…?

"Woah Katsumi," Nice name, "isn't that your son?" I feel my eyes lit up with excitement. Also this world is so predictable sometimes.

Deidara actually has parents! I always thought he was some orphan, but turns out that I have a dad! This is so cool! Several years ago I would have been dreading this, but I could potentially learn so much from this guy about Deidara's past-

"You traitor…" The punch in the gut and then a punch in the jaw reminded me that, despite living in Konoha all these years, Deidara in fact betrayed his home village, "How dare you show your face!" I taste copper… and it's not tasty.

Wiping the blood from my mouth, I stare up at this asshole, "Nice to see you too I guess, un?" This only seemed to piss off Katsumi more.

"Don't act like you don't know what you did!" He weaved a few hand signs that made my blood turn cold, he had explosion release! So the chakra nature is genetics… focus! Katsumi raised his hand, all with the intent of hitting me with whatever jutsu was at his palms.

"Lay a hand on the boy and Iwagakure will lose another shinobi." Madara appeared behind my father and held the kunai to his throat, "We are in Kirigakure, and you are causing a scene by attacking your son." The two other Iwa shinobi freeze on the spot, not noticing Madara right away despite him standing behind me originally, how do you not notice the giant poofy haired fox-man behind me? I made him very noticeable!

However, Katsumi didn't seemed phased by the threat at all, "This thing is no son of mine!" Locking eyes with me, he promptly spat in my face. Okay… ew, "He stole a forbidden jutsu, left the village and killed his own mother, all for the sake of his art. How many people has he killed to please himself knowing his 'art' was the thing that killed them?!" Hold the phone! I did what?!

Madara tilts his head, obviously noting my confused expression, "What do you mean?"

One of the Iwa shinobi pipes up, "When Deidara fled the village, he killed his pursuers in order to get away. One of them was his mother, though judging by his face… Deidara either forgot the whole thing, or didn't realize one of them was her."

My mouth goes dry at that moment, I couldn't find my voice. I… killed my own mother…? No wait, Deidara did, not me. This all happened before I took over his body, so I was not the one responsible for her dead… yet, I still felt guilty. I feel my head tilt downward in shame and a hand tangling itself in my hair so I was pulled into a chest. It didn't take eyes to know that this was Madara trying to comfort me.

"I… Do not remember most of my past anymore… You're nothing more than a stranger to me. Shinobi are killers by occupation, I can easily list off who I have killed before and for what reason, many were just because they got in my way, un." I take a deep breath and tilt my head so I could look at the man in the eyes, "I am no longer a shinobi of Iwagakure. I am Uchiha Deidara of Konohagakure, gah that's a mouthful…" I feel light headed from the lack of oxygen, "Husband of the head of the Uchiha clan, Itachi. Older brother and guardian of the Kyuubi no Jinchuuriki and…" I feel a smirk plaster on my face, "I am the ambassador for Konoha to Kirigakure, un."Okay… floor spinning, I forgot to breath half the time.

Katsumi's glare hardens, it reminded me of when the original Deidara would glare at Sasuke during their fight, "You should have never been born in the first place." That struck me, I don't even know this guy, but just the fact that he could easily say that without remorse… it… hurt, barely.

Madara's hand tightens around my head and guides me around the Iwagakure shinobi, even as we walk away, I could still feel his glare on my back, "What he said was for the original soul of your body, not to you. Remember that young lady." I feel his body twist and the Iwa shinobi bolting off in fear, I guess he flashes his sharingan at them.

I nod, feeling my mind daze off, "I… never expected to have actual parents…" I rest my head against his arm in thought. I never... really even bothered trying to learn about this bodies pasts, I just wiped the slate clean and did what I wanted. I should have known the past would come to haunt me eventually.

I hear Madara huff and try to blow some hair out of his face, but the mask got in his way, "Frankly, I think I'm a much better father figure than that guy." Which made me chuckle as Madara radiated jealousy that even for a second I acknowledged such a person as a parent, "You're what I could picture my child to be like if I had not abandoned Konoha and taken up a wife… Serious like an Uchiha… but stupid like Hashirama."

I smack Madara's arm in minor offence, I am not stupid! Also, good to know Hashi would have been his child's godfather.

"You'll still need to tell me the story of how Hashirama got to marry Mito, un." I smirk hearing the Uchiha groan.

"When you return from the lake, then we'll talk."

I see no reason to argue and I am holding that promise against him.

At the lake

"Damn that's a big turtle!" Hey I'm a reptile nut, can't blame me for freaking out. Upon reaching the lake, everyone was having issues finding the Sanbi with its mist… so I may have pulled an anime and made it appear using C1s. I had arrived late to the party so Kakashi was filling me in on information, or at least trying to.

"Deidara! There's a crystal user working for Orochimaru, be careful! Shino is already working on breeding insects that are immune to her jutsu." Or… he would, but the Sanbi was being a royal pain in the ass and trying to kill everyone.

I perked up, "Oh! Guren IS here!" That got everyone to pause. Whoops, I was too happy for their liking huh?

"What the hell are you getting excited for, Deidara-nii?" Naruto was looking at me while talking to Gamatatsu, who was there to help him develop a really pointless jutsu that he would NEVER use again. Honestly, whose idea was this? Definitely not Sasuke's… ugh, I'm going to have to talk to Jiraiya about Naruto's jutsus.

I wave him off, "Oh nothing, just go do your thing honey. I'll go… meet this problem, try not to get eaten or anything, un!" Throwing a clay owl into the sky, I hop on it to scout, taking note of the occasional bat that would fly around my bird, "Damn… that bat man is here… heh… batman… though Bruce Wayne is more attractive than… fuck… what was his name? Renji… Kenji…? Bob?" I pause in thought, "Oh! Rinji! That's his name! Wait… doesn't he die halfway through, un?"

Hearing crinking noise, I turn my head to see brilliantly shiny pink crystals overtake the wing of my owl, "Well then… Time to meet Guren, un." Leaping off the bird, Guren had to dodge so my foot didn't land on her face. That wasn't intentional, her face just happened to be under my foot.

"Another Konoha pest…" Guren glared at me in frustration as the death fodder squad bolted past us to deal with the others. I forgot their names… meh, they die anyway.

I cheerfully wave at Guren smiling, "Hi Guren-san! My name is Deidara, un." I backflip to avoid her crystal projectiles, Kami I want that kekkei genkai.

Guren stares at me dumbfounded, "How do you…?" Blinking a few times, she shakes her head and gets back into a fighting stance, "No matter. You'll end up dead anywa-"

Incoming Sanbi tail!

We had to leap in opposite directions as the Sanbi was on a rampage, I had to get on dry land to avoid anymore attacks. I may have the advantage in terms of chakra nature… but I also don't want to be squashed by a giant turtle.

Looking over my shoulder, Guren was rushing to my teammates and brother in an attempt to kill them along with her teammates… I think this is when Guren and Naruto get eaten? I may love this filler, but like all fillers, it's a blur.

"Tch… I wanted to fight her some more. Oh well, she betrays Orochimaru anyway, un." Grumbling to myself I slowly trek around the lake, sensing the are. It's absolute mess on the waters, the Sanbi is on a rampage after swallowing Naruto and Guren. Yukimaru is screaming and the Sanbi is trying to get to him, with everyone trying to get him away. There was also-

"Ah, you always seem to know when to be a thorn in our sides Deidara." Moving my bangs so I didn't have to turn all the way, Kabuto emerges from the trees. I was really focused on Obito, who was about 30 feet away, but he's a good substitute, "I sincerely do hope you were joking about Guren betraying Orochimaru-sama. Since we have been unable to get Sasuke-kun, she would be the next vessel."

Biting my lip in thought, I had to reveal a smirk, "Glad to know. Now I can feel more pleasure in taking her away from him, un." Kabuto calmly adjusted his glasses, trying not to lose his temper, of course something in the distance distracted me from him. This gave him the opportunity to try and attack me.

"Guren-san!" I know that squeaky voice anywhere.

Absentmindedly kicking Kabuto in the gut to get him away from me, I twist around and bolt off after the voice. Maternal instincts kicking in as the voice became more and more panicked. I stop dead in my tracks when I see Yukimaru in a clearing, looking at the waters with a broken look.

"Yukimaru-kun?" I make my presence known, holding my hands above my head to show the kid I mean no harm. It still didn't stop him from yelping in fear and practically running headfirst into a tree. Ouch, that's gotta hurt.

"G-get away from me! Guren-san! Guren-san!" The poor chibi just kept screaming for Guren, I wasn't sure if I should comfort him or laugh at how pitiful this looks.

"Hey… hey… it's okay, I'm not going to hurt you. Watch my hands, un." Out of fear Yukimaru froze on the spot and watched as I unclasped my clay pouches and tossed them to the side, "My name is Deidara, I'm a Konoha shinobi. I want to help you and Guren get away from Orochimaru, him and Kabuto make you do things you don't like am I right, un?" To show I'm even less of a threat, I sit down while keeping my hands up.

In reality, this is a stupid move as I am more vulnerable in this state. But the last thing I want to do is frighten this child anymore than he already is.

Yukimaru pauses, clutching the cracked crystal with the camellia flower inside it to his chest. Slowly, he nods in confirmation to my statement, "I… can control the Sanbi and Kabuto-san makes me take medicine… it hurts my head…"

Kid is way too trusting for his own good, but can't blame him when he's half drugged up from whatever Kabuto made for him. I offer him a small smile, "Listen, Guren is alive. She's with my brother in the Sanbi's stomach. How about you help me get them out, un?" Yukimaru's eyes lit up in excitement as I stood up, "We need camellias. In return for helping Guren, I want you to stay with me until we are able to chase Kabuto away. Deal?"

At the prospect of getting Guren back, he didn't hesitate to agree to my terms. Taking my sleeve, he drags me to where the camellias are, "We can use these, right?"

I nod, creating clones to help collect flowers, "Tell me Yukimaru-kun. Why do you like Guren, un?" I know I'm just asking for one of his home speeches, but I need his trust in order to get Guren's trust. Besides, it's better to talk while picking flowers than in complete silence.

"Home is a place where someone is always thinking of you for you to return to. Guren-san is my place to return to, and I am Guren-san's home. Do you have a home to return to?" Yukimaru tilted his head in curiosity as we head to a spot where the flowers would help Guren and Naruto.

I hum thoughtfully, "I do. I have a husband, three wonderful brothers and friends who care for me. I feel blessed to have the home I have, un." I watch as Yukimaru grabs some grass and began playing his theme music. I never understand how you can make sounds like that using grass, but I was never a musical person myself. Now all was left was to wait and see what happens next.

One long ass filler later

Yep, nostalgia really glorified this filler for me.

I loved the characters in the story, Yukimaru is such a precious chibi and Guren is a badass filler character that deserved to be canon. But man… did this drag on longer than it needed and I didn't have the ability to fast forward time.

After Guren and Naruto had left the Sanbi's stomach I dropped Yukimaru off to his little mother figure and proceed to spend the rest of the day tending to Hinata. The poor cinnamon roll was still exhausted from being trapped in crystal, so we were in the wooden house Yamato made for everyone to rest in. Happened just like in the anime, except when it was over I offered to Guren that if they need sanctuary to go to Kiri. I'm not sure if she would go there, but hey, Kabuto got his ass handed to him by Naruto and this did end on a happy note at least.

"Tsunade is ordering us to return." I look up from my book to see Kakashi at the doorway, "ANBU will take over on sealing the Sanbi." Oh… lovely.

Jumping to my feet, I grab Naruto's shoulder so I don't fall on my face, "Alright. Let's go home then. Naruto, how about you and I have some ramen when we get back, un? Celebrate you mastering a new… jutsu." I say that last word with minor sarcasm, he's never going to use that stupid jutsu ever again, him being here was a waste of time besides talk-no-jutsuing Guren. He should be home, training with Sasuke!

Naruto didn't notice my tone and instead fistbumped, "Hell yeah! I haven't had ramen in forever!" Honey… it's been 2 days.

Hinata seemed to have heard my thoughts, "Naruto-kun… we had ramen before we left for the mission, remember?" Wait. Hold a flippen minute.

"When did you two started dating, un?!" Sakura does a spit take next to me when I said that out loud. Now all the attention was on the duo.

"D-date?"

"We're not dating, we just had ramen, dattebayo!" Naruto tried to defend himself, too late really, all reason has left the door.

"Oh my Kami, you two are dating!" I proceed to hug the air out of Hinata while Naruto was in a choke hold by Sakura. Everyone decided to give us some space and not intervene… though Kiba and Lee are cheering for Naruto.

"Naruto, if you break Hinata's heart, I will kill you." Sakura lets out her danger aura as Naruto was slowly turning blue from a lack of air.

"G-guys… we're not d-d-dating!" Hinata slowly transformed back into her shy self as I was nuzzling her cheek with mine. This only made the idea more concrete than before, as Hinata rarely becomes shy for any reason unless it involves actually being with Naruto.

Sakura gives Hinata a reassuring smile, "Sure, Hinata-chan. Suuuuuureeeeee." These two can try to deny it, but we notice how they would sometimes lock fingers when we all eat together.

3rd person POV

The Konoha shinobi returned after several hours of traveling and excessive teasing the teens. Tsunade wasn't pleased with the fact that the Sanbi was too difficult to capture, but was happy to know that Orochimaru lost some of his followers.

That same evening, Sasuke headed over to Deidara and Itachi's house after painting. He wanted to discuss some things with his brother and while he knew the couple were expecting guests, he couldn't wait for tomorrow, "Itach-"

"Here this song and, remember… Soon you'll be… home with me~ Once upon a December~"*

Sasuke halted in his step hearing Deidara singing in his other tongue to someone, and carefully snuck into the family room to see Deidara singing to Anko's stomach. Anko wasn't paying much mind to the singing and was letting the blond do his thing while she drank some tea, only speaking when the song was done.

"Where did you learn that song Dei-chan? I never heard of it, did it come from your past?" Anko takes a sip of tea from her cup, neither one noticing Sasuke spying on them. Though it didn't escape the teen that Anko seemed to have been picking her words more carefully than before. Why was Deidara's past such a secretive thing to everyone but a select few?

Deidara nervously laughed and rubbed his neck, "It's a song from my childhood, nothing big. It was from a movie I use to watch all the time." Anko nodded in understanding, which made Sasuke even more confused.

'I never heard that song from a movie… then again, mother and father never took us to see movies except on rare occasions.' Everything about Deidara becomes more and more strange, but he's grown up to accept that. What caught his attention was as Deidara resumed singing, he suddenly stopped and grabbed his neck in pain. The movements were so sudden that Sasuke almost jumped from his hiding spot to help the blond as he began writhing in pain.

Anko sprang up to help Deidara, "Orochimaru?" She unbuttoned Deidara's trench coat, as the material started constricting the blond's neck and made breathing more difficult than it already was at the moment.

Deidara nodded while gasping for air, "Yeah… he's on his last leg and I think taking Guren away from him… ugh…" He flinched, tightening his hold on where the curse mark laid, "He's angry… and weak, so he's taking his frustration on me… makes sense, un." The blond takes a deep breath after a pained chuckle, only to slam his face into a pillow to let out a muffled scream. Sasuke watched in horror and anger as the curse mark couldn't seem to decide if it wanted to activate or not, patterns slowly spreading along his body before being sucked back into the mark thanks to the seal around it.

Turning at his heel, Sasuke stormed out of the house and past Itachi who had gone shopping. Itachi noted the fire in his brother's eyes as the teen rushed past him in a blur of black.

"Sasuke?" But the young Uchiha was already heading to the Hokage's office, piratically shoving anyone in his way, even Shizune and some ANBU.

Storming to Tsunade, Sasuke slammed his hands on her desk knocking over documents in the process. Sharingan activated and kill intent radiating from his body to the point where it was nearly suffocating to those nearby the room. He's had enough seeing his loved ones suffer because of him… no… because of a snake that didn't seem to understand that power won't win him over.

"Give me the order to kill Orochimaru. If you don't, I'll leave Konoha and kill him as a missing nin."


Side Story # 12 Madara, Hashirama and Mito (Just after the Sanbi arc and before Sasuke spies on Dei and Anko)

Deidara's POV

Returning home after the whole Sanbi fiasco, I walk up behind Itachi and rest my head on his shoulder as he was looking at a list, "Going shopping, un?" I look at the list… and I can't read half of the kanjis on the paper.

I hear Itachi chuckle, must have said that last bit out loud, "Yes, I wanted to make something nice for us since Anko will be over for dinner. Will you be okay by yourself?" He nudges my head with his own like an affectionate cat. I always love these little gestures from him, never any big declarations of love, he always showed his love to me through actions rather then words.

I smirk, giving him a quick squeeze before releasing his stomach, "Yeah, I need to talk with Madara-sama about a few things before Anko shows up, un." I watch Itachi leave the house before summoning Madara, "Okay, no ones home and you promised to tell me how Hashirama got to marry Mito, un." I fold my arms as Madara groans into his hands, seemingly have forgotten the promise.

"It started at 4 am in the morning…" Oh this is gonna be good if it involves a sleepy Uchiha.

Flashback-no-jutsu

3rd person POV

"Madara! Great news!" Madara sat up from his futon as Hashirama barged into his room, kunai in hand and eternal mangekyou staring at his best friend thinking he was an attacker, "Oh… why do you sleep shirtless? It's cold this time of year." Of course Hashirama would chose to ignore the kunai that would have embedded his forehead had Madara not have self-control of himself.

Madara's entire rage deflated seeing Hashirama's happy demeanor in his room, "Hashirama, have you ever heard of knocking? What if I was with a woman? What time is it?" Madara looks outside from his window, barely able to see the sun in the sky and returned his glare to the man standing by his futon.

Hashirama proudly grinned down at his poofy haired friend, "Come on Madara, we both know you're single." He sweatdrops when the sharingan were focused on him again, "Ahhh… anyway, I wanted to tell you when it was morning, but I couldn't wait until then! I received a message from the Uzumaki clan! They want a formal alliance with Konoha!" The man was using all of his self-control to not cheer to the heavens as it was… "Oh, and it's about 4 in the morning." That time.

Madara slowly got out of his bed and slipped on his Uchiha shirt, "And why did you feel the need to tell me about this?" He impatiently tapped his foot, peeved that his sleep was ruined because of Hashirama… and on his day off too! He had spent 10 hours straight yesterday talking with the clan about important business, then another 5 hours dealing with Hashirama's idealistic ranting on what the village needs. A man needs his sleep!

Now the happy in Hashirama was drained away, rubbing the back of his head, "I uh… I have to marry the daughter of the Uzumaki clan's head… and I'm meeting her father today. I wanted you to go with me as it would strengthen the village's bond seeing both halves of the village."

"So you're scared." Madara deadpans blankly, which caused the Senju in front of him to blush furiously.

"N-no I'm not-" One Uchiha glare later, "Okay, I'm terrified! I met this girl, her name is Mito, and she's… she's absolutely beautiful and strong… I fell in love the moment I laid my eyes on her. I think I met her as a kid but… Seeing her now… as a fully grown woman..." If he could, he would have hearts flying over his head. Thankfully for Madara, he can't and the Uchiha doesn't have to dodge stupid floating hearts like a moron.

Madara sighed, "Only you would fall in love at first sight…" Rubbing the bridge of his nose, he sighs in acceptance, "Fine, I'll go. Now get out of my room and let me sleep!" The Uchiha promptly grabbed Hashirama by the back of his kimono, and literally kicked him in the ass out of his room, slamming the door shut.

How the hell did Hashirama get into his house anyway? Oh right, he gave the Senju permission when the village was first made.

That evening

This is… rather awkward. Madara casually sipped his sake as Hashirama fumbled, trying to talk the Uzumaki head. Mito's father was this stern looking old man with red hair and streaks of grey in it, and it was overpowering Hashirama's cheerful aura. A rather pitiful sight if Madara was to be honest, if he was meeting with the father of his potential wife, he would demand a test of strength to prove that he can protect the man's daughter and produce strong heirs.

Deciding to help his friend out, Madara cleared his throat, "Uzumaki-sama. On behalf of the alliance between the village and your honorable clan, allow me to present to you, a present from the Uchiha clan." Like the perfect first born that he is, Madara gently sets down a bottle of the Uchiha clan's finest, and most powerful, sake.

The old man looked at the bottle suspiciously, which Madara poured the two men a cup and Hashirama poured Madara's cup. The Uchiha severed any suspicions by drinking the sake, proving that it was not poisoned.

Within minutes, both Hashirama and the elder Uzumaki were completely wasted. They barely had three glasses, and sake cups were small too. What lightweights...

Madara was trained to have a high tolerance for alcohol, it may fuzz his mind slightly but he was overall, in full control of himself. Seeing his friend and an elderly man acting like sentimental children was hilarious and… disturbing.

"Madaraaaaaa! Thank you for coming with meeeee, I-I wanted Tobirama to come w-with me… b-but," sniff, "He said he was busssssyyyyyy!" Hashirama flung himself onto Madara, crying onto him, "Y-You're the bestest… best friend I could," sniff again, "ever have!"

Madara leans away as snot threaten to get on his kimono, giving the man a handkerchief to blow his nose with, "Just don't get snot all over me, stupid Senju." He turns to look at the door when a beautiful young woman opened it in interest.

Poor Mito, she was promised to a man that she thought she never met before, and when she went to take a peek at her future husband… she found an Uchiha, her father drunk and her presumed husband… why was the Uchiha the only one not drunk?

"You must be Mito-hime, please forgive the display, I wanted to break the tension." Madara bowed in respect to the princess of the Uzumaki clan, of course Hashirama was ruining the display by being an idiot.

"Ah… Thank you… Uchiha-sama, I didn't expect my husband to be Hashirama-sama…" Mito had met Hashirama on multiple occasions, but the boy was too focused on his brothers and world peace to really notice her, until now.

Hashirama stared up at Mito in awe, "Beautiful…" Suddenly, he pulls out some fancy paper he had hidden in his robes, "I ah… wrote a," hic, "poem for you!"

Madara facepalmed while Mito watched with interest, "Oh? A poem?" She gives Madara an amused expression, knowing full well that she should wait until he was sober for him to read it to her… but she was curious to see what he would sound like if he was not held back by formalities.

"Mito-hime… please wait until this idiot is sober…" Too late, he's reading it.

(AN: My lovely beta wrote the poem, I just added in all the drunken element. I'll put the original version in the authors note below)

"The peerless" hic "beauty you possess"

"Forcing the moon to look away in shame"

"Your hair is" hic "like...like fire"

"The flame of my eternal love to you… love to you"

"Yourrrrr eyes are an…" Pauses to read, "abyss!"

"Pulling and trap me into your service" Nearly falls on Madara due to trying to hug himself.

"The...The goddess that you are"

"Your increpibl-incredible strength is unsurpassed by all"

"Like holy mother Amaterasu!" Loses paper due to arm fling.

"Your smile heals me and motivates me!"

"The loveliness that you are!"

"So beautiful no word can describe you!"

"A queen to my eyes!"

"Deserve to be worship and loved by all!"

Impressive, he was a mess at first, but once he got to the halfway mark he suddenly was able to shout his undying love for the woman in front of him.

Mito blinks a few times, before smiling and kissing Hashirama on the head, "Beautiful, you should write me more poetry after we wed." Carefully stepping around him, she picks up the paper and slides it into her kimono, making a shush motion to Madara before she leaves the room entirely.

Hashirama swayed in his spot, "Did I do good Ma...Ma…" Before passing out, banging his head on the table, which Madara notes also has the sleeping Uzumaki head.

"You had better been trying to say my name, Hashirama…"

The following morning and one hangovered Senju later

After getting Hashirama some medicine for his hangover, the two walked around the settlement of the Uzumaki clan, it was nothing but redheads. It was like the Uchiha clan… but red.

Hashirama nudges Madara playfully, "I think some ladies here are interested in you~" Indeed, everytime Madara looked at the Uzumaki women, they would look away in a blushing and giggling mess, "Maybe we should get you a wife. Uzumaki and Uchiha would be a strong combination when you have an heir~"

Madara folds his arms stubbornly, "Uchihas only marry Uchihas. Unless you can find me a woman that is as beautiful and powerful as an Uchiha woman, I will never marry outside of the clan."

Hashirama gives his friend a cheeky grin, "Somebody's gonna die a virgin~" He was then chased by fireball jutsus, much to the amusement of a nearby Mito.

Flashback ends

Deidara's POV

"You did die a virgin though, un…" I bite my lip to hold in my snicker as Madara glared at me, "Don't look at me, you Uchiha like dying virgins. You all never seem interested in women."

Madara tried not to pout, "We had more important duties than finding wives. I would have married eventually."

I wasn't convinced, "Uh huh… sure you would grandpa, un." I like reminding him that he's an old fart now, despite looking like he's in his late 20s.

Huffing, Madara went to his coffin and had the lid close on him, but not before I pop a last minute question, "Did Mito keep the poem?"

He chose to answer, "... She practically hanged it on her wall." before sinking to the ground, leaving me a giggling mess.

"Hey Dei-chan, sup?" Anko had let herself in and was staring down at me in bewilderment, "Why you giggling like you just saw Sasuke's baby pictures?"

That stopped me from my giggling, "Wait, he has baby pictures?!" Anko quickly looked away and sat in a chair to watch me go into an amused frenzy looking through Itachi's side of the bookshelf and finding the Uchiha family photo album…

Awwwww, he had ducky pajamas!


Deidara got to meet his birth dad! I wanted to add in something like that because we never truly get a backstory for the guy, and I thought it would be cool to put some more details into the original Deidara's past. Sorry that the Sanbi arc was so short, I got lazy and didn't have time to rewatch the arc, I just kept it minor. Most of the stuff happens like in the anime, just with Dei's commentary.

That side story was fun as hell! My beta was concerned that I was having a little too much fun with it, but nonetheless it amused me to mess with her poem to sound drunk and to voice out a drunk Hashirama (Not kidding, I made hiccup sounds and sniffs the entire time. She was dying… and concerned.). The poem was made by my beta for this fic, it's not a haiku or tanka, it may be some other form of Japanese poetry and the reason why the syllables don't match up is because these characters speak Japanese, so the translations of course would not match. Here is the original version with some grammar changes because English is her second language:

"The peerless beauty you possess,

Forcing the moon to look away in shame

Your hair is like fire,

The flame of my eternal love to you

Your eyes are an abyss,

Pulling and trap me into your service

The goddess that you are,

Your incredible strength is unsurpassed by all

Like holy mother Amaterasu,

Your smile heals me and motivates me

The loveliness that you are,

So beautiful no word can describe you

A queen to my eyes,

Deserve to be worship and loved by all."

Our goal was to make this as sappy as possible… I think it turned out wonderfully.

* (Warning: movie spoilers) So the song I used was the reunion song from the Warner Bros. movie Anastasia with Anastasia and her grandmother. You can hear it in both the beginning of the movie and at the end, I chose this version instead of Once Upon A December where Anastasia is dancing with the ghosts of her past because the lyrics didn't add up. Deidara sang this song as more like a lullaby for his babies since they are due soon.

As always, reviews are loved and I'll see you all next week which is gonna be a doozy, something extremely important is going to happen in it and I ain't gonna tell you what it is. :P

Bye!