Casey anxiously tapped his foot and watched the clock in the common room.

Otis crept over to Severide in the kitchen and asked, "What's with Casey?"

Kelly looked over and saw Matt sitting on the couch trying to act nonchalant and failing miserably, and he said quietly, "Tomorrow's the hearing, no offense, but he doesn't want anybody showing up."

"None of us?" Cruz asked.

"We're family, right? It's his wish, we need to respect it," Kelly told them.

"What do you think they'll decide?" Otis asked.

Kelly shook his head, "I don't know, assuming the judge says it's enough to go to trial, Stone still needs 12 to convict the bastard, his lawyer only needs 1 person to hang the jury and he walks free."

"You don't really think anybody on a jury will believe that crap, do you?" Cruz asked.

Mouch quietly cleared his throat and joined the conversation, "If they've got one person on that jury with a kinky love life, they could buy it, and it's becoming a well known fact most people are not as rigid about that stuff as they used to be."

"What if they have a rape victim on the jury?" Otis asked, "You think they'll believe anything the defense says?"

"Can they ask people about stuff like that when they're picking a jury?" Cruz asked Kelly.

Severide shrugged his shoulders. "Didn't occur to me to ask Stone."

"Even if they can, that doesn't necessarily mean anything," Otis said, "if they're too ashamed to report it, they're sure as hell not going to tell a rapist's defense attorney they were raped. They'd just lie."

"In which case, for once under-reporting the problem might actually work in the victims' favor," Mouch pointed out. "I mean think about it, do defense attorneys ever seriously consider the people deciding his client's fate, might have more in common with the victim than the defendant?"

"You mean the lawyer makes the same mistake as everyone else, figuring only certain people can be raped, and anybody who makes it on a jury couldn't possibly be among them," Kelly said.

"Yeah," Mouch replied. "Casey could actually have this in the bag."

"Not yet," Kelly shook his head.

"Right," Herrmann said, "not until it's all over and we have a big party for him back at Molly's to celebrate."

"Oof," Cruz sighed, "What would we call that?"

"We'll figure that out later," Herrmann said, "meanwhile I tell you guys what, I wouldn't mind taking a shot at that piece of garbage defending that scum wad."

"He's a public defender, Herrmann," Otis said, "he has to take the cases he's assigned to."

"Yeah but that don't mean he gotta smear our lieutenant in order to do his job," Herrmann said. "And if it does, he's in the wrong line of work and should either be counting beans somewhere, or drug out into the streets and shot."

"I'm almost afraid to ask," Otis said, "what exactly do you have planned?"

"Here's what I'm thinking," Herrmann said with that sly smile of his that always spelled trouble, "While they're all in the courtroom doing the hearing, we find out which car belongs to this self righteous defense douche and have it moved in front of a hydrant. Then, we start a fire, just a small fire, but a fire nonetheless, we show up, hey, car's blocking the way, we gotta do something, right? So we smash out the windows and run the hose through it to the hydrant."

Joe and Brian were both trying not to laugh, Brian said to him, "Only you would have the balls to come up with such a plan to inflict on a guy who could own every last one of us for it."

"Well if you don't like that, I got another idea," Herrmann said. "Instead of going to all that trouble, we just set the car on fire, then we show up and pour a few thousand gallons of water on it. Either way by the time it gets done smoldering, it won't be no good for nothing."

"I'd like it better if this was a high paid attorney with a $80,000 car," Otis said, "but a public defender? Hardly seems worth the trouble."

"Yeah well, if you guys come up with anything that'll stick it to those bastards and incidentally cheer up our lieutenant at the same time, I'm all ears," Herrmann told them.

Cruz wasn't sure about that. But he went into the common room and stood by the couch. "Lieutenant."

"Cruz," Casey said, his eyes still on the clock.

There was an awkward pause as Joe tried to figure out something to say.

"You...want to talk about it?"

"No," Casey answered flatly.

"Okay...you want some company?"

Casey turned his head slightly to look at Cruz, and gave a very slight nod. Cruz sat down on the couch beside him and turned on the TV. Maybe it was just his presence, but something changed and Casey stopped tapping his foot and leaned back against the couch. Then he felt a sudden weight on the other side of him and saw Brian had joined them.

"Otis?"

"Lieutenant," he said nonchalantly.

Casey looked at one, then the other, and back again, as if trying to figure out what their plan was. For all intents and purposes, they looked like nothing out of the ordinary was happening whatsoever, and yet he knew that wasn't the case. But, as long as they didn't bring up the subject, he wasn't going to say anything, he crossed one leg over the other and took some comfort in at least acting like everything was normal.


Casey knocked on Boden's door and entered, "You wanted to see me, Chief?"

"Briefly...go home, Casey," Wallace told him.

"What?" Casey asked.

"I know the hearing's tomorrow," Boden said, "I also know you don't want us there, and I understand the reasons why, and we'll respect those reasons, but I want you to know we will be there with you in spirit."

Casey looked up at Boden and said humbly, "Thanks, Chief."

"As it is, I'm taking you off duty for the rest of the day, I know tomorrow's going to be hell so go home and get some rest, you'll need it," he told Casey.

"Chief, all due respect, can I stay here until..."

"No no no," Boden shook his head, "if we have calls coming in all day and half the night, I know what's going to happen with you. You go home, get some sleep, and kick that son of a bitch's ass tomorrow."

Casey stood there frozen for a second, unsure what to do. He took a step towards Boden and hugged the man gratefully.

Boden slapped his back and told him, "You got this, Lieutenant, you got this."

"I'm sorry, Chief, I wish I could say I want you guys there," Casey started to say.

"It's alright, you know we will always be there for you here, and anywhere else you need us," Boden said, "and you ever need anything, doesn't matter day or night, you call us. Got it?"

Casey nodded, too overcome to actually speak.


"Boden sent you home too?" Casey asked as Kelly came through the door.

"More like I talked him into it," Kelly answered, "how're you doing?"

"I wish it was already tomorrow and tomorrow was already over, does that explain how I'm doing?"

Severide nodded. "Perfectly. Casey, you're going to do fine tomorrow, don't worry about it."

"Who's worried?" Matt asked. After a brief pause he asked Kelly, "Do you know if the judge says there's enough evidence to move ahead, it could be 2 months before the actual trial even begins? And that's what you call a 'speedy' trial, that's not even if his attorney waives time, it could be longer."

"One step at a time, Matt, there's always a chance somebody will shank him while he's awaiting trial," Severide told him.

"We can only hope," Casey moaned.

The two men heard one of their phones buzzing in the room. Casey picked his up off the coffee table, "It's not mine."

Kelly took his out of his pocket and answered without even looking to see who it was, "Hello?" His face instantly changed into a wide eyed look of shock. "Oh, hi, Mom."

Casey looked up and watched Severide while he continued speaking to his mother.

"I'm fine," Kelly said, "how're you? ...That's good...you're what? You are?" The mask of horror faded away and was replaced with a big smile, "Well that's great...when will you..." Kelly's whole face changed again and now he looked more shocked than anything. "Tomorrow? Uh...when tomorrow?" Severide quietly groaned and slapped himself in the forehead. "That's...well you see I..."

Kelly looked to Casey, trying to figure out what to say to explain why he wouldn't be available, but Casey just waved him off, Kelly nodded in understanding.

"Yeah actually I do have tomorrow off," Kelly said, his voice was chipper enough but his expression was a glum one. "Okay, I'll see you then...love you too..."

Kelly hung his head as he disconnected the call. He looked at Matt and said regretfully, "I'm sorry, Casey, my mom's coming into town tomorrow, she's on her way to visit an aunt of mine, she switches planes here but there's a five hour gap before the next one's ready."

"Sounds like she needs a better travel agent," Casey said.

"So anyway while she's waiting for the next flight to leave, she wants to see me while she's here."

"That's fine," Casey told him, "you go, I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" Kelly asked.

"It's your mom," Casey emphasized, "you have to go."

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright. Kelly, what have I been saying since this whole thing happened? I want my life back to normal, I appreciate everything you've done for me but I can't do that if you keep holding my hand all the time. Go on, have a good time, tell your mom 'hi' for me."

Kelly looked at him somberly and nodded, "Thanks, buddy." He took a step towards the kitchen, then thought of something, "Oh, do you want Rhonda to be there when you go tomorrow?"

"Nah," Casey shook his head, "she's probably seeing patients all day."

"If she's free, do you want her to come?"

He thought about it, and shook his head again. "I'm sure she won't hear anything she hasn't probably heard a thousand different times already."

"Well, if you want to talk to her about it afterwards..."

"Yeah, I know...I didn't really get too far with her the other day."

"But it's easier than you thought?"

"Yeah...what kind of psychiatrist is she anyway? I mean is her answer to everything to just blame the mother, or does she think every single thing has an underlying sexual component?" Casey asked.

"Uh...neither," Severide answered, "usually she just tells me I'm an idiot and to pull my head out of my ass."

Casey burst out laughing. "Oh I am so sitting in on the next session. I've got to see how she keeps people coming back for more with that approach."


Rhonda opened her door and saw Kelly standing on her porch. Something about him seemed different from the last time she saw him, and she realized his hair was wet, and he had changed into a different set of clothes than the ones he'd had on when he dropped Casey off earlier that evening.

"Did you jump out of the shower and right into the car?" she asked.

"Eh, my mom's coming into town tomorrow, she's kind of prim and proper so I want to make sure I look presentable when she arrives," he said. "Where is he?"

"Come with me," she turned and headed to the dining room.

They went to the back of the house and looked out the window to the swimming pool. In the floodlights, Kelly could see Casey swimming furiously across the pool, he looked like Jaws was chasing him.

"How long's he been at that?" Severide asked.

"About two hours, what's going on?" Rhonda asked.

"The hearing's tomorrow."

"Oh."

"They won't be calling him until late afternoon, I'm not sure how he's going to get through the next 18 hours. I'm starting to wish I'd listened to Herrmann a while back."

"What do you mean?" she asked as they moved away from the window.

"He suggested getting some sleeping pills and putting them in Casey's food, at the time I figured the last thing he needs is one more betrayal but now I'm starting to wish..."

"Say no more," Rhonda said and went over to one of the kitchen cupboards.

Kelly watched her as she reached to the top shelf and took down a small box of pills.

"What're you gonna do?" he asked.

"Just leave everything to me," she said as she filled up her teakettle, "you watch the window and let me know when he gets out."

Severide went back to the window and watched as Casey continued to lunge through the water, then turn around and lunge back across the other way.

"I wish I were going with him tomorrow," Kelly told her, "he's going to need somebody with him when it's all over."

"And how's he taking this news that you can't make it?" Rhonda asked as she dug out a box of tea bags.

"Well, he says he needs to start doing things by himself again...but I just don't think this should be one of them."

"He's been through a lot, hasn't he?" Rhonda asked.

"Oh yeah," Kelly nodded as he watched Matt turn around in the water and start again. "His mom killed his dad when he was a kid, apparently he was some kind of abusive prick, and she took it as long as it was her, then he started on Casey and she snapped. You know Sergeant Voight at the 21st District?"

"Doesn't everybody?"

"Well, Casey was the only witness that his son was driving drunk when he caused a crash that left a 16 year old paralyzed, Voight tried to make it go away, he tried to get Casey to retract his statement."

"Oh yeah, I remember reading about that in the paper," Rhonda said, "took out a hit on him, didn't he?"

"Sounds weird to say 'that's Voight', but it is," Kelly replied. "Then his fiancee was murdered, had to work with Voight to catch the bastard that did it."

"Talk about your conflict of interests," she said.

"He had his skull fractured when a building came down on him several years ago, for a while there was the question if he could even work again," Severide told her.

"Sounds like he's bounced back from a lot of stuff," Rhonda commented.

"Yeah well," Severide responded, "I'm just worried one of these days he won't be able to. This has pretty much pushed him at his limit."


Casey came in the back door soaking wet and covered in gooseflesh anyplace his towel didn't cover him. He had no idea how long he'd been in the pool but he was about ready to drop and decided to call it good before he drowned. He closed the door and saw Severide and Rhonda sitting at the kitchen table talking.

"Hey Matt," Rhonda said, "you know, if anything ever happens and you can't be a firefighter anymore, you'd sure have a hell of a shot at the Olympics."

"Uh, thanks...I think," he said, he looked over to Kelly and asked, "what're you doing here?"

"He's trying to get me to take him back," Rhonda said as she gripped a mug on the table, "and he's failing miserably."

Kelly took a drink of his mug and made a face and shook his head, "That stuff's stout, what'd you pour in there, grain alcohol?"

"No, that's just the tea," Rhonda said, and turned to Casey, "I got this new herbal stuff to try, I took the liberty of making three mugs if you want to try it."

"Uh, sure, I'll get it after I get dressed," Casey said as he headed over to the changing room.

"I hope this works," Kelly murmured.

"If you were right about his weight, then the dose should be enough to keep him knocked out for 10 hours at least," she told him. "I take one of these when I can't sleep, and I'm out all night."

"Good, I don't want him up all night worrying about the hearing."

"I'll drink to that," Rhonda said, and they clinked their mugs together.


The three of them sat around the table making conversation for an hour, talking about anything and everything except what was pressing on everybody's minds. Matt had to agree he didn't particularly care for the tea Rhonda had made, but he was a little more diplomatic than Severide and at least drank it down so he didn't offend Rhonda, who didn't seem to have any complaints about it whatsoever. During that time, Severide kept watching Casey for any signs the pills in his tea were taking effect, about halfway through their conversation he started to get bleary eyed and rubbed them like they were sore, then he started to keep his eyes shut for a few seconds each time he blinked, and then finally he dropped his head on the table and was in a dead sleep.

"About time," Kelly said as he pushed his chair back.

"You need a hand?" Rhonda asked as she got up.

"Nah, I do this for a living," Kelly said as he pulled Casey's chair back, lifted Casey up and over his shoulders and maintained a hold on one arm and both legs. "Just get the door."

Rhonda ran on ahead and opened the front door, then got ahead of Kelly and went down to the driveway to open the passenger side door of his car. Severide hunched down and eased Casey into the seat and got him buckled in.

"Thanks for your help, you don't know how much I appreciate this," he told her as he shut the door.

"Good luck tomorrow," she said.

"Thanks, we're probably gonna need it."


Casey woke up with a sudden gasp of shock. The room was dark and he couldn't see anything, but he inherently knew he was in his bedroom. He tried to remember what it was that had woken him up. Whatever it was, he could still feel his heart pounding in his chest and he felt the nerves in his back tingling.

Somebody touched his hand and he let out another gasp and jerked away from it.

"Hey, hey," he heard Severide's groggy voice, "it's alright, come here."

He felt Severide's hand grab his again and felt himself being pulled over to the other side of the bed.

Kelly wrapped an arm under Casey's back and turned him over towards him. "It's alright, I got you...go back to sleep."

He could feel Casey's heart racing in his chest, he could feel the startled breaths entering and leaving his body. After a few minutes he finally calmed down and seemed to fall back asleep, almost.

"K-Ke-Kelly," Casey slurred his name like he was drunk and about to pass out.

"What is it?" Severide asked.

Casey slurred the next words out of his mouth too, but Severide was able to decipher it anyway, "I love you."

He almost laughed. Those must've been pretty strong pills to get a reaction like that out of him.

"I love you too, buddy, now go to sleep," he said. "I got you, you're safe."

He felt Casey's head pressing against his chest, and after a few minutes heard the steady breathing of someone sound asleep again.

Kelly looked over to the digital clock on the nightstand, 2:00 A.M. He tilted his head back and sighed. Casey had already woken up once shortly after they got home, but it hand't been for long. Rhonda had given him a couple extra pills to take himself when he got home so they could both get some sleep, but Kelly wouldn't take them. Just incase they wouldn't work as well on Casey as hoped, he had to be awake to make sure Matt was alright. He'd remembered his conversation with Rhonda a while back and decided if his presence was what helped Casey get through the night undisturbed, then that's just what he'd do tonight, it was crucial Casey be as well rested as possible in the morning. Tomorrow couldn't come to be over fast enough for either of their comfort. Kelly especially wished it was already morning, as he held his best friend against him while he slept, a lot of things that had been revealed over the past few weeks started running through his mind all at once.

Casey moved back again and this time felt the wall behind him. The fight left him now and he sank down to the floor and groaned, "I don't want anybody to know what happened, please don't make me do this!"

Kelly stepped back and said, "I don't know...they're supposed to be doing a, a, a kit on him right now...he didn't want to come here, Chief, and I understand it, really I do...but all I kept thinking was...what if this guy has AIDS, or an STD? Or what if Casey needs stitches...or surgery? What if he has internal bleeding or...something punctured, or ruptured, or..."

"Casey walked out of that hospital with most of the DNA still on him, but the report found even for what there was, there was evidence he had been assaulted several times that night."

"Oh my God," Kelly said, "Casey didn't tell me that."

"The one thing in our favor is that the only semen on his clothes was Cardoza's," Stone told him.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Cardoza clearly experienced several orgasms while he was raping Casey."

"It was intimidation," Kelly corrected him. "Don't move or I'll kill you, when somebody tells you that, and they have a knife at your throat, you don't move."

"I realize that, but a lot of it is just secondhand circumstantial at best. You can't even testify how the attack started, you walked into the middle of it, for all you know..."

"Don't start with me, Stone," Kelly warned him, "I know what I saw, Casey was scared to death."

"Of Cardoza, or of you walking in on him with his clothes all but torn off and another man on top of him? Maybe what you saw wasn't really fear but just shame and mortification at being caught having sex with a man."

"At best, this guy's lawyer could say this was a consensual affair gone sour and Casey is just the bitter ex-lover who likes it rough," Antonio told him. "At worst, he could say that this was a gay love triangle gone wrong and Casey only cried rape because you walked in on him sleeping with another man."

Severide was slow to respond to that because his brain was having trouble taking in what Antonio was saying. However, once it all registered, Kelly summed up his response with a solitary, "WHAT?"

"Think about it, Kelly, you two live together, 'roommates', neither of which has any substantial relationship with any woman, a defense lawyer will milk that to the jury for all it's worth, and all the tabloids will run with it, 'Steamy Gay Firehouse Romance', then all of 51 will be dragged through the mud as well."

"It was hell, Severide!" Casey told him. He sat down across from Kelly and told him, "They left me in that room for over an hour, they wouldn't let me have anything to drink, they wouldn't let me use the bathroom, they wouldn't let me take a shower..." the fight started to leave him and he groaned as he beat the table with his fist. "And then I'm supposed to stand around naked for another hour being probed and swabbed and violated while some cop asks me about my sex life and about how the attack happened, and somebody taking pictures of me with a ruler to measure the size of my wounds. Nobody should have to go through that, I don't care what anybody says."

"I'm sorry, okay?" Kelly also became defensive, and told Casey, "I'm just trying to help!"

" 'Trust me' you said! 'Trust me!' I didn't want anyone to know what happened, now everybody does!" Casey screamed at the top of his lungs, "Why the hell did you have to come home that night? Why couldn't you have stayed at the bar, drunk yourself stupid and gone home with some bimbo just like every other night of the week!?" Casey made a move towards Kelly and screamed at him, a raw primal yell, then he turned towards the door and stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

"I'm sorry I didn't kill that bastard when I had the chance," Kelly leaned back in his seat and said, "then none of this would be happening."

Matt kept his arm pressed against Severide's back, and told him, "You saved my life...and I never even told you 'thank you'."

"I am not questioning his ability to do his job," Boden told him. "I'm concerned about how he's recovering from this."

"None of this should've happened, why the hell did this guy target me?" Casey wanted to know.

"I don't know," Severide said. "I don't know."

"I want my life back the way it was."

Severide tightened his hold on Casey, and whispered to him even though he knew Casey couldn't hear it, "I'm sorry, man, I'm so sorry...I'm sorry I didn't come home sooner that night."