A/N: Sorry for the delay. My muses seem to work best while I'm at work with nothing to do but plan out my next chapters. So, I don't unpdate unless I work. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter. And yes, Charlie is going to be slightly out of character, but he's just trying to protect his daughter's heart. Anyway, I hope you like.
ALICE
I was beyond excited that Bella had decided to come back to us after all these months. I was also estatic to see how quickly she was opening up to us after so long. In fact, she had come in wearing a a camisole not even attempting to hide her scars from us. That was a major step in and of itself.
I was also grateful to Jasper for how much he had done for her in the last twenty four hours. She had a genuine smile on her face as she hugged and greeted us. Not to mention, she looked ten times better than she had when I seen her two nights ago. Whatever he did or said, had worked magnificently. She even ate nearly half of the food that Esme had made for her. Which was a major accomplishment compared to what she had been eating lately.
She did get a little nervous when Carlisle suggested that we go in the living room to talk. However, with a little encouragement from Jasper and I, she soon began talking. And once she started, she didn't stop.
She told us everything. She talked for a bit about her feelings on the day Edward died as well as how she felt when she decided to leave us. Those feelings were followed by a heartfelt apology that we refused to accept, because in our opinion there was no reason for her to ask our forgiveness.
We knew she was in a bad place when she wrote that note. She needed time and space to sort through things on her own. Besides, her intentions were good. She thought that she was hurting the family and did the only thing she could think of to stop it. We really couldn't blame her for that.
She finally gave up and moved on to how much it hurt to not be able to tell Charlie the truth about what happened to Edward. I knew we all felt a little guilty about that. Charlie would forever be resenful of Edward leaving Bella at the alter, when technically, that it wasn't happened at all. I could only imagine how hard that must've been on Bella. And we all wished that she could tell him the truth. However, we all knew the dangers of that. We were already expecting the Volturi to knock down the door and kill Bella because she's still human. We couldn't put Charlie in that kind of danger.
Bella knew all of this, of course. Which is why there was no feelings of resentment there, just sadness and a wish that things were different. We all felt for her on that. A daughter shouldn't have to keep something like this from her father, but alas, she didn't have a choice.
Bella continued onto other topics. She talked a lot about the things that she did and the feelings she never got to share. We sat patiently and listened providing support when she needed it. We didn't unterupt or try to rush her as she talked. We knew how much she just needed someone to sit there and listen to what she had to say and not judge her. And that's exactly what we did. I could see a significant change in her when she finished a couple hours later.
Once she was done, Emmett asked her why she hurt herself. I knew we had all wanted to ask that very same question but none of us were brave enough. I was worried that he had crossed a line and she was going to shut down on us. However, she answered with good grace and a slight bit of shame. Carlisle had to take over when Bella couldn't completely explain it to Emmett.
After that things became easier. We talked about other things. Mostly, old family stories and what not. Bella spent most of that time laughing at the different stories we told. I swear I saw some of her old self peeking through in those moments. We talked until she fell asleep well after midnight.
"Carlisle," I whispered ten minutes later. I wanted to make sure that she was completely asleep before we tried to move her. "She's asleep. What should we do with her?"
"That's a good question." Carlisle stated, thinking.
"What about Edward's room." Rose suggested in a whispered.
"No, I don't want her to wake up in there." Jasper stated. "It could hinder the progress she's already made and set her back further than she was."
"That's true, but the rest of you need your own spaces." Carlisle replied.
"She can take our room." I stated. "Like she did before. Jasper and I can find somewhere else to stay the night."
"Are you sure?" Carlisle questioned.
"Yes, she needs that bed more than we do." I replied.
"Alright, then take her up to your room."
I ignored the pang of jealousy that shot through me as Jasper picked Bella up and carried her to the stairs. We were quiet, lost in our own thoughts, until Jasper came back down the stairs.
"Do you think that she'll be able to get over this?" Jasper asked Carlisle as he took his place next to me on the couch.
"Yes, she's made some of the biggest steps in the last twenty four hours with finally facing Edward's death, her anger and pain, as well as laying it all out on the table for us." Carlisle answered. "And we did the best thing we could for her, we listened and supported her without being judgemental. As long as we continue to do that and let her know that she can come to us when she needs to, she'll be just fine. However, we all need to be into this one hundred percent. She needs to know that we all support her because one person is all it's going to take to send her back to where she was. Can I count on all of you for that?" He turned his gaze specifivally on Rosalie.
All of us, including Rosalie, told him that we'd do the best we could to help her through this. We were silent for a long time, all thinking, no doubt, about ways to help Bella feel loved and supported. My mind, however, landed on something that had been worrying me since I found out that Bella was coming back to us.
"What about Charlie?" I asked Carlisle. "He thinks that Edward abandoned and hurt Bella. I don't think that he's going to be too keen on the idea of us coming back into her life. I mean, even in that first month, when he was turning me away because Bella asked him to, he was everything but hostile. I don't think that he's gonna like this at all."
"That's very true." Carlisled answered. "Which is why I think it would be a good idea for me to take Bella home tomorrow so Bella, Charlie, and I can have a little chat. It's about time Bella tells him what's been going on."
"Like that'll make everything better." I nearly yelled. "Tell him his daughter cuts herself because your son and our brother left her. He'll definitely be open to welcoming us back again after that!"
"Alice, I understand that you're upset, but you have to understand that this is what's best for Bella. Telling her father is going to be another big step in her recovery process. Besides, as her father it's his right to know." Carlisle stated.
"Don't give me that bullshit!" I really did yell this time. "As her father, he should have figured it out by now. He should've seen that she's been wearing sweatshirts all the time, even around the house. Or how long her showers take. Or even the bloody towels in the laundry. Or the fact that she has razor blades hidden all over the bathroom and a first aid kit in her sock drawer. As her father, he should've seen the warning signs and been able to stop it before it got this far!"
"Alice, calm down, please. I don't want to wake her up." Carlisle replied calmly. "I understand your anger at him, I'm angry too because I told him she needed help. The problem is, it's just as hard for parents of self mutilators to admit there's a problem as it is for the mutilators themselves. He probably noticed these things but found it too hard to see that she had a problem. Besides, every father wants to believe that their daughter is perfectly happy and healthy even when there not. It easier to pretend there isn't a problem."
"Fine, if that's true." I said not completely sold on the idea. "Let's say you talk to him, and he doesn't want us to help to her. What are we supposed to do?"
"Well, Charlie has to understand that Bella's nineteen, a year older than what is considered an adult, if she wants our help, there's nothing stopping her from getting it. So if Charlie doesn't want us to help, we'll do it anyway, because Bella wants us too. Even if that means she has to move in with us. I will not let her fall, simply because Charlie doesn't want us that around her anymore."
"Thank you, Carlisle." I stated and hugged him.
We fell into another silence as we contemplated what would happen if Charlie didn't want us around Bella anymore. As much as we woul've liked her to come live with us, I prayed it wasn't the case. She didn't need to add losing her father to her long list of stresses. And she definitely didn't need something to push her further into depression.
She gave me butterfly kisses
After bedtime prays
Sticking little white flowers
All up in her hair
Bella's phone blared from where she left it on the dining room table. I recognized the ringtone as the one Bella used for Charlie and was into the dining room answering it before anyone else could move.
"Hello." I answered.
"Bella?" Charlie asked.
"No, Charlie, it's Alice." I stated.
"Oh." I could hear the coolness his tone took on. "I was just calling to make sure that everything's okay with Bella and find out when she's coming home."
"Well, she's just spent the whole talking with us, and she fell asleep." I answered. "So were just going to let her stay the night here."
"I would rather you brought her home tonight." he replied and I could hear a slight tone of anger in his voice.
"I don't think that's a good idea, Charlie." I answered. "She's had a very long day and hasn't been sleeping well lately."
"I am aware of that." he practically growled. "Which is why I want her somewhere familiar, in case she wakes up."
"I assure you, she'll be fine here if she wakes in the middle of the night." I answered.
"Well, that's not going to work for me. I want to know that she's okay."
"Well, she's fine and we'll bring her home tomorrow."
"Alice, as the chief of police, I have the authority to arrest you and your family for holding my daughter against her will. Which is exactly what I'll do if she's not home in an hour."
"Well, then do what you have to do, Chief Swan, I'm not going to wake her up just to drag her home."
By now, Carlisle was beside me, holding his hand out for the phone. I handed it to him, wordlessly.
"Charlie, this is Carlisle." he said. "I know you're worried about your daughter and with everything's that's happened, you have every right to be. However, I assure you that Bella is safe here."
"That's not the issue." Charlie replied.
"Of course, it's not." Carlisle stated. "However, Bella has had a very long day and has shared things with us that she hasn't been able to share with anyone, not even you. She is exhausted and sleeping. I'm not going to wake her for something as stupid as taking her home when she's perfectly fine staying here."
"And what exactly did she talk to you about?" Charlie asked.
"That's not something that I can discuss over the phone." Carlisle replied. "However, I will bring Bella home when she gets up, then the three of us can discuss all of it. Now, it's been a long day, and my family and I would like to get to bed." I snorted when he said that. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Fine. But if she comes back to me in worse condition than she was when I left her, I will hurt you, Dr. Cullen."
"Fine." Carlisle stated and snapped Bella's phone shut.
He stood there for a moment taking a few breaths. I hadn't seen him this angry since Sam told him the pack wasn't planning on doing anything at all about Jacob. I thought for a moment that he was going to snap like he did that night. However, he took a couple more breaths and said,
"I'm going up to my study to check on some methods of helping with Bella's problem and look up some ways to have the talk with Charlie. Will someone let me know when she wakes up? I'm going to need to talk to her about Charlie."
With that he walked up the stairs to his study. The rest of the family slowly dispersed to begin their own nightly activities.
JASPER
Once Carlisle went up to his study and the others went their seperate ways for the evening, I wanted nothing more than to go upstairs and check on Bella. However, I could sense Alice's want and need to be alone with me. Along with a whole nother torrent of confusing emotions.
"You wanna go for a walk?" I asked holding my hand out to her.
"That would be great." she replied taking my hand.
I lead her out the back down and through the trees to the little creek that seperated our hunting grounds from our backyard. I sat down against a tree trunk with my legs spread open and tapped the ground between them, encouragin her to sit. She sat and I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close to me and resting my chin on her shoulder. We were silent for a moment as her crazy emotions swirled inside me.
"Are you alright?" I asked her after a minute.
"I'm fine." she answered. "Why?"
"It's just because I sense a crazy swirl of emotion coming from you." I replied. "There's worry, sadness, pain, jealousy, and a small hint of happiness. I'm not sure what it all means but it's a little scary. You've also been extremely clingy the past couple of months. I get the feeling that you think you're going to lose me. I thought at first it was just because you lost Edward but now I'm not sure. I just need to know what's going so I know whether or not it's something that I can fix."
"It's nothing." she answered but I could feel that she was lying.
"Don't tell me it's nothing." I replied. "I can feel that it's something. Talk to me Al. Tell what's going on. I just want to fix it."
She sighed and looked down at her hands.
"It's just that the whole thing with Edward taught me that forever, doesn't really exist for anyone, not even us. I mean, if you we pissed off the right creature, we could be wear Edward is now. Just because we think that we have forever, doesn't mean that we really do. Every moment is still precious. Even for us. I don't wanna lose you and I've just got this horrible feeling that I'm going to." she explained and I could hear the sadness in her voice.
"Listen to me." I said gently pulling her chin to look at me. "I'm not going anywhere."
"I know, but it's just that you're spending so much time with Bella, and it's worrying me. I mean, I know she's my best friend and she needs you, but I can't help but worry about that."
"Alice, I love you. Not Bella. She's just like my sister and yes, she needs help. However, once she's better, I'm going to be coming right back to you. I love you and I promise I'm not going anywhere." I told her.
I knew somewhere in my self concious that I was lying and that I may not be able to keep that promise. However, Alice was my wife, ragardless of these strange feelings I was having for Bella, and she needed to hear the words and be reassured. I would say anything that she needed to hear just to get her smiling again.
Also, I hoped that telling her this, I'd be able to convince myself that my feelings for Bella were just a fluke of my gift. Maybe that way, I could squash the feelings before they got to far gone.
I could tell by her feelings that she didn't entirely believe my promise. However, she didn't call me on it, instead, she brought her lips down on mine and kissed me passionately. I kissed her right back with just as much passion.
The kiss deepened and I felt all of the negative emotions just fall away from both of us. It was one of those times where nothing else mattered but the person in your arms. I know longer felt anything for Bella while Alice no longer worried about losing me to Bella. All that mattered was throwing all of our feelings into the kiss and giving in to the passion of the moment.
A/N: Yes, for anyone who wants to know, they are about to have sex. Just thought I'd let all of you know that. Also, I know that Alice's feelings at this point are confusing. It's simple, Jasper asked her what was wrong and she pretty much told him the truth about her feelings on losing him to Bella. She, of course, left out the vision of Bella and Jasper getting married, as well as her acceptance of it. I hope that clears things up a bit. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed. Please review.
