A/N: Hey, sorry for the wait. I was really tired when I got home from work last night. I just watched some T.V. and went straight to bed. Warning: This is another tearjerking chapter. This is also where Rosalie and Emmett, mostly Rosalie, get to show Bella how much they want her around. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter.
BELLA
The hour Alice and I spent packing my things was one of the longest and most agonizing of my life. It was almost as bad as those first few hours without Edward. Almost.
Alice helped me pack everything in silence. She would occassionally ask me if there was something that I wanted packed or left at Charlie's. I tried to only take the essentials. I needed a way to tell Charlie that none of this was permenant and that I'd be back when I felt I was ready.
There were points during the hour when I got the impression that she wanted to say something to me. I think that she wanted to find a way to reassure me that everything was going to be okay. However, she couldn't quite find the words. I understood her completely, though.
She didn't remember enough of her life as a human to recall ever being in this situation. It was truly a case of not knowing what to say. However, I wished she was able to say something.
In the silence, I was able to think about everything that had happened in the last five months and the person who had caused it all. My former best friend, Jacob Black. I couldn't believe how much I loved and trusted him with my life. It was a mistake and I knew it. I also knew that, as badly as I wanted him to before, I wished that he had never come back to Forks.
If hadn't have come back then Edward would still be alive and I'd be the immortal, Isabella Marie Cullen, who wouldn't be able to or even dream of hurting herself. Granted, I'd be unable to contact Charlie, but at least our goodbye would've been on better terms. It was all Jacob's fault. Every last God damned bit of it.
I hated him for it. Loathed every last bone in his stupid werewolf body. I wished nothing but a slow and painful death on the man who had once been my best friend. He was nothing to me anymore. Nothing more than the object of my deepest loathing. And I no longer cared what happened to him.
He ripped two giant holes in my heart. Holes that I knew would never be filled because of it. I once couldn't imagine how I would've gotten through life without him. Now, I just wanted him to stay away from me forever.
I tried to keep myself from crying over the huge mess Jacob had thrown my life into by packing everything that I could. However, an hour later, there was nothing left to pack. I stood in the center of the room looking for something, anything to keep me distracted from the boiling rage.
It, however, came anyway. I wanted to throw things and scream until I couldn't scream anymore. I wanted to shout to the world the pain Jacob had caused me. However, I knew I couldn't. I didn't want Charlie to think that I was completely unhinged.
I gave into to the tears, instead. I sank to the floor and sobbed like I had never sobbed before. I let out every once of hate I felt for Jacob in those tears. I wasn't down there for too long before I felt a pair of strong cold arms wrap around me. Alice had knelt beside me and was gently rocking me while stroking my hair.
"Oh, Bella what's wrong, honey?" she cooed.
"I hate him, Alice. I just hate him so much." I cried into her shoulder.
"No you don't." she replied. "He's your father. He just wants what's best for you."
"No, not Charlie." I answered. "Jacob. I hate him so much. I wish he never would've come back. He destroyed everything. He took Edward away from me. He made me hurt myself. And he made Charlie hate you guys. And now I can't even live with my father anymore. He messed up everything and destroyed my life. And now I can't be sure if I'll make it through this." I sobbed even harder into her shoulder.
"Oh, Bella, honey." she whispered still rocking me and stroking my hair. "You will make it through this, I promise. Carlisle will help. We all will. And as for Charlie, it may take awhile, but I promise that he'll eventually understand that you know what's best for you a lot better than he does. This isn't the end of your relationship. I promise. You will get through this and be okay."
"But, Alice, even if I do, what's the point?" I cried back. "Edward's gone and nothing that Carlisle or Charlie or any of you can say or do will bring him back. He was my only reason for being anymore, and he's gone, with no hope of ever coming back. How can I possibly be okay knowing that I'm never going to see him again?"
She sighed and pulled me away from her until I could meet her eyes. There was a sadness there along with a fierce determination.
"Listen to me, Bella." she said. "You're right, it's never going to be okay, that he's gone. He was a vary special person in your heart and you loved him with everything you had. There's always going to be a hole where he was. And that's never going to be okay, but I promise that it will get better. You see that Edward wasn't the only person out there for you. The hole will eventually be filled by someone else and you will be happy again. I promise."
"But how can you know for sure?" I questioned.
"Hello, psychic here." she replied pointing to herself with a smile.
I couldn't help but laugh at that. I knew that if I could trust anyone with my future, it was Alice. It didn't seem like it know but I trusted that she was right that'd I be happy some day. It soothed me a little to know that bit of information.
"I promise, Bella, that you have a happy a bright future in front of you, once this is all over. You will find happiness again, Bella. And I'll do everything in my power to make sure that it stays the way." Alice finished.
She pulled me back to her and I wrapped my arms around her. It was so nice to have a friend and sister like her. I wasn't sure how I had gotten through the last five months without her. I felt a small wave of guilt over the feelings I was beginning to have for Jasper.
I pulled away at that thought. I didn't want to give anything away, and make her hate me, so I made it look like I was looking to see what time it was. My alarm clock told me that another fifteen minutes had pace since I finished packing.
"Come on." I stated. "We should get going. We don't want to make the boys wait to long." I started to get up, but Alice clamped her hand around my wrist and pulled me back down.
"Wait, I need to talk to you about something before we leave." she said. She sounded so serious that I didn't want to object. Instead, I made myself comfortable on the floor and nodded for her to speak. "I don't know what Edward told you about the night after the almost accident with the van, but it was almost the end of the family. We were extremely divided at that point and Edward was so head over heels for you, that he was prepared to destroy any of us who tried to hurt you. Well, Jasper and Rosalie were adamant about getting rid of you and the exposure risk. They wanted to be sure that their mates and families were safe." she added hurriedly looking a little worried about my reaction. I simply nodded in understanding as I tried to figure out why the hell she was telling me all of this. "We fought until I asked Jasper not to kill my friend. At the time, he was like Edward, and couldn't deny me anything that I asked for. The family was confused by my request and I explained that I had a vision of the two of us becoming like sisters. After that, Carlisle decided we would wait and see what happened. We wouldn't do anything until you gave us a reason to believe that you wouldn't keep your mouth shut." I nodded again, still confused by her speech. "What I'm trying to say is, that was the night you became my sister and I decided that, like Edward, I would do everything in my power to protect you. I hadn't even met you, yet, and I already knew I loved you like family. And I just want you to know that those feelings are still there and will never go away. You are my sister and I love you, now and always, not matter what you say or do. I need to know that you understand that."
I had no idea why she felt the need to tell me this now. However, she sounded so sad and desperate that I couldn't make myself question her motives.
"I do, Alice. And I feel the same way about you, too." I replied with a smile and she pulled me into another hug. "Now," I stated once we pulled away and I saw another fifteen minutes had passed. "We really should go. The boys have already been waiting an hour and a half."
We both stood and grabbed a few bags before heading downstairs. When we got down there, I noticed that Charlie hadn't left the kitchen. I think he was still in shock over what had happened. I motioned for Alice to wait for me by the door and walked down the hallway.
Charlie was sitting in one of the chairs, just staring at nothing. I leaned against the kitchen doorframe and folded my arms over my chest.
"Dad, I'm leaving, now." I whispered trying hard not to cry okay. He simply nodded, I didn't think that he could find the words to say. "I want you to know that this isn't permenant. I'm going to come back as soon as I'm better. I just need you to trust that the Cullens are the best form of help for me right now. I love you and I will be back. You can call anytime, you wanna. Bye."
He didn't say anything as I started to walk away. However, I heard him whisper something that sounded strangely like "Olive Juice" (A/N: Ten points to anyone who gets that.) just before I got out of hearing range.
Once Alice and I got outside, we found Jasper and Carlisle leaning against the Mercedes waiting patiently for us. Jasper immediately came to me, and took the bags I was carrying. He helped Alice place those and the others in the trunk.
"Are you okay, Bella?" Carlisle asked coming over to my side.
"No." I replied. "But I will be someday."
I smiled as I remembered Alice words from upstairs. Carlisle smiled back at my optimism.
"Do you wanna take your truck?" he then asked.
"Now, I want to leavc as much as I can." I answered. "I wanna make sure Charlie knows that I plan on coming back."
"Of course." he replied and we all piled into the Mercedes. "There's one problem, though, Bella." he continued as we headed toward their house. Edward's old room is the only one that we have available at the moment. Is being in there going to bother you at all?
"Because if it is, Jasper and I could always switch with you." Alice suggested from beside me in the backseat.
"It's alright. I can handle Edward's room." I stated.
That was partially true. I knew I had to get over this and the only way to do was to face Edward's memories head on. Even if that meant living in a room and sleeping in a bed that I had once shared with Edward. Besides, I had already inconvienced the Cullens too much. I wasn't about to let Alice and Jasper give up there room for me. That wouldn't have been right.
"Are you sure?" Jasper asked from the front seat. "Because Alice and I really wouldn't mind switching."
"It's okay." I replied. "I'm going to have to face it sometime. And the sooner I do, the sooner I'll get better, right?"
Carlisle smiled and said,
"I've already called Esme, she and Rosalie and Emmett are going to help us get you settled. And go through everything in Edward's room. You'll have to let us know what you wanna keep and get rid of."
"Right." I replied noding my head.
The rest of the drive was quiet. I spent it cotempleting the conversation that Alice and I had in my room. All that stuff about her knowing that I was going to find my happiness againe without Edward. Then the whole speech about me being her sister no matter what I said or did. It all started to make me wonder about whether or not she had seen the strange feelings that I'd been having for Jasper. Maybe, she had seen us together in the future, or something. Perhaps she was trying to tell me that she'd be okay with it if Jasper and I did end up getting together.
I didn't know if that was truly the case or not. Which was something that really bothered me. I didn't want to think about would could possibly happen with Jasper if I gave into the strange feelings and if Jasper felt that way about me. Because what if Alice wasn't okay with it? I'd lose my best friend and that was definitely something that I wouldn't be able to handle.
I couldn't ask her about it, though. What if I had completely misread everything she said? What if her words were just a way to stop me from crying and get me to feel better? If I brought it up without being sure, she'd get mad because I had feelings for her mate and husband. And I'd still lose my best friend.
It was a lose/lose situation for me. In the end, I just decided to forget about the Jasper box and work on getting over everything that happened. That had to be my first priority if I was ever going to be happy again. I'd just have to put Alice and Jasper on hold for awhile.
Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett were waiting for us when we got back to the house. We spent the rest of the afternoon going through Edward's room and remembering the good times, the bad times, and the times in between. I found that it was much easier for me to remember Edward with the Cullens around.
They understood my pain and suffering better than anyone else. They were able to see the tears of pain and joy for what they were. And they knew exactly what to say and do to make me feel better. I only wished that I hadn't walked away for five months.
The Cullens allowed me to pick what stayed and what had to go. I, of course, kept all of his funiture, including the bed and couch. There were too many special memories there to get rid of them. His stereo and entire music collection stayed. I also kept most of the pictures he had. Except, of course, for the embarrassing ones of me.
Once we had finally finished moving stuff out and I was preparing to unpack, Carlisle suggested that the others go on a hunt. Everyone agreed that it was an excellent idea, considering that I was going to be around twenty four seven now. They needed to be as full as possible, so there weren't any accidents.
Rosalie offered to stay and help me unpack, because she had been hunting early that morning. She said that she was good for another couple of days. However, when the others left, she sat on the bed and watched me put some of my stuff away.
"Bella, I was wondering if I could talk with you for a few minutes?" she asked after about five minutes of watching me.
"Okay." I said a little worried. The last time she had said something like that, it wasn't a very pretty conversation.
"Don't worry." she said, patting the bed next to her. "It's not bad."
I chuckled at how predictable I had become to all of them and went to sit beside her on the bed.
"So, I have a confession to make." she said sounding slightly embarrassed. "I've always acted like you didn't mean much to me and I only put up with you for Edward's sake. Especially after you made your decision to make the change. And that was because I hated the fact that you would willingly let go of everything that I was given no choice but to give up. And the irked me a lot. However, my dislike of you and your decision disappeared as time went on and I began to think of you as the annoying little sister that I've always wanted."
"Well, you've always been the bitchy older sister that I've always wanted." I stated with a smile. She giggled.
"I suppose, I deserved that." she replied looking at the bed. We were silent for a minute. "There's actually something that I wanna ask you, though. And I'm not exactly sure what you'll say."
"Okay." I answered confused by the sudden change in the conversation.
"As you know, Emmett and I were planning to get married again shortly after you and Edward did, but we decided that it wouldn't be appropriate after everything that happened with Edward. So we put it on hold for awhile. We decided a couple months ago, though, that seven months was a respecatable amount of time. We're getting married on February twentieth." she explained.
"Rosalie, that's wonderful." I replied still trying to fiugre out where this was going.
"Thank you." she smiled and bit her lip. She looked so nervous when she looked me in the eye again. "Emmett and I were wondering if you would do us the honor of joining Alice and Jasper as my second maid of honor?"
I was shocked by the request. Rosalie Hale had not only admitted that she thought of me as a sister, but had asked me to be in her wedding. I couldn't find the words to desrcibe what that meant to me.
"Wow, Rosalie, I..I..I..I" I started unsure of what to say.
"If you don't want to. I'll understand. I mean after how nasty I've always been to you, it would be the least I deserved. I mean..."
"I'll do it, Rosalie." I cut her off with a smile.
"Really?" Her face lit up like a kid's at Christmas.
"Really." I nodded.
"Oh Bella, you have no idea how much that means to me." She exclaimed throwing her arms around me.
"About as much as it means to me." I replied returning the hug.
We stayed like that for a long moment, and in that moment, I felt better than I had about everything that happened that day.
A/N: I hope this one didn't turn out too crazy. I planned it last night but wasn't able to write it till now. And I'm really tired and don't feel good. So it was a little difficult to get out. Anyway, please review and let me know if it bombed or not. I appreciate your feedback.
