A/N: I would like to apologise for this chapter. Most of it is just Alice thinking and reflecting. It is, however, important for the development of the story. So please just be patient with it. I hope you all enjoy it.

ALICE

I walked away from Bella's room in an odd state of shock. There were so many emotions running through my mind- pain, anger, guilt, sadness- I wasn't sure which I should be feeling at the moment. Pain and sadness were definitely the ones closest to the top.

I hadn't meant to hear their conversation. I had gone upstairs to ask Bella if she wanted to come to Seattle with Rosalie and I. We were going to have a nonwedding shopping say. And, although, Bella dislikes shopping, I figured she might enjoy some time away from the house. When I got to the door, though, I heard way more than I bargained for.

Jasper had questioned Bella about her feelings for him. Bella tried to act innocent, but acting was never her strongest talent. They ended up kissing, then agreeing that their relationship couldn't go past that point, because they didn't want to hurt me.

Hurt was definitely something that I was feeling a whole lot of at the moment. I was confused about why though? I had known this was coming for about six months now. One would think I was well prepared for it by now. However, it still came as a heavy blow. I think part of me hoped it wouldn't get to this point because that meant that I could deny the truth of everything. Now, though, I have no choice but to believe it was true.

I was also quite confused about which part of the conversation hurt the most. The part where the kissed or the part when they decided to deny themselves and each other their own happiness for my sake. It just didn't seem far to anyone. We were all damned if we did and damned if we didn't. It was all so wrong and I felt horrible.

I walked to my room in a slightly shocked and emotional stupor and flopped on my bed, completely unsure of what my next move was going to be.

On the one hand, I could've just told Jasper that I wanted a divorce and walked away. I knew it would make him and Bella very happy. They could be together without the worry of hurting me. I loved them both very much and hated to see them sad or in pain. Especially Bella, she'd already been through so much with losing Edward and all. And she was finally starting to get over it. I didn't want to be responsible for sending her back to that sad and lonely girl who nearly killed herself with guilt. It wasn't right.

The same went for Jasper. I loved him with every fiber of my being. All I wanted was for him to be happy. He told me all about his life before he met me, and it wasn't a very pleasant one. He was only just beginning to get over the things he'd done, then. He didn't need anymore of that kind of pain. He was too wonderful and good for that.

On the other hand, there was myself to consider. I wasn't ready to give Jasper up, yet. There was still so much I wanted to say and do for a with him. He was my husband, after all, and I loved him so much. He had no idea how much half the time. I don't think that I told him that enough. I wanted to hang on for as long as possible. I knew that was very selfish of me, but I was going to lose him no matter what.

I looked into their futures many times of the last six months. It was akways the same no matter what was happening to the relationship at the time. Bella was walking down the aisle toward Jasper who was waiting for her at the altar.

I took another quick look, just to see if their agreement changed anything. Nope, it was still the same. The two were going to get married and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

I think that in itslef was enough to give me the right to be selfish about this. I mean, wouldn't you? Still though, thinking about how selfless Jasper and Bella were being about the whole thing, made me wonder if I my selfishness would be unfair to them.

They were both willing to give up their own happiness to make sure that I didn't get hurt. Which was why I loved them so much. I mean, after everything they had both been through in this life and existence, they both deserved a little bit of happiness. However, when something with the pontential to make them happier than they've ever been came along, they're willing to walk away from it for me. It just wouldn't be right for me to keep Jasper to myself when they were both willing to give up everything for me.

I hated this so much. I had no clue what to do and it was making me crazy. Thinking about the situation didn't help much either. It just made me even more confused by my feelings and this situation. I found myself wanting throw things and scream my frustrations to the world. However, I knew that wouldn't be a very clever idea. It would do nothing but get the family swarming me and wondering what was wrong. Nobody would leave me alone until I spilled the secret. Which was definitely not something that I was prepared to do. I didn't want to get any angry at Bella and Jasper out this. At least, not until it couldn't be kept a secret anymore. We'd all have to deal with it then.

I looked around for an alternative way to express my frustrations, however, there was a knock on my door before I could find the solution. I sat up in time to see Rosalie open the door and walk in.

"So did you ask Bella about coming with us today?" she asked leaning against the doorframe.

"Actually, when I went up there about twenty minutes ago, she was pretty upset about something." I stated. At least, it wasn't going to be a complete lie. "Jasper was taking care of her, so I thought that I should give them some space."

"Right." Rosalie said. "Well, if you want, I can go back up and check on her. Then I'll ask her. Maybe, she'd like the distraction."

I knew she mostly likely would. However, for the first time in my life, I didn't think shopping was going to make me feel any better. I know, shocking, right?

"Um, actually, I really don't fell like going anymore." I stated.

Rosalie's eyes widen in shock and a bit of disappointment.

"Who are you, and what have you done with my sister?" she asked in utter disbelief as she came to sit next to me on the bed.

"What? Can't I just change my mind?" I questioned trying to sound inoccent.

"The Alice Cullen I know, doens't change her mind about shopping." Rosalie answered. "Especially when she was the one who suggested the trip in the first place."

"Well, I guess there's a first for everything."

She raised an eyebrow at me.

"I still don't know, though. It seems to me like there's something wrong."

"There's nothing, I promise, Rose. I'm just not in the mood anymore. That's all. I think I just wanna chill here at home for the day."

"Okay, I suppose that I could just go hang out with Emmett." she stated sounding a little upset. "Of course, he'll probably be wrestling with Jasper all day."

I was sure that wouldn't be the case. Jasper would probably be spending most of the day either wallowing in the guilt and sadness. Or else, helping Bella cope with it all. However, having fun would most definitely not be on Jasper's to-do list today.

"I'm sorry." I replied feeling a little guilty about.

"No, it's fine." she stated. "I just wish you would tell me what's wrong."

"It's nothing. I promise. I'm fine." I answered.

"Okay." she sighed. "But if you change your mind, I'm only down the hall."

"I know." I replied. "And thanks."

"No problem sis."

She embraced me for a few short moments then walked out the door. I felt horrible for lying to her as I laid back down. I wished I could've told her what it was. I told Rose just about everything that I couldn't tell Jasper. However, I knew that it was impossible to tell Rose this. Not after she had finally started acknowledging and treating Bella like the sister that she was. I didn't want to damage that relationship before it got off the ground.

I laid there lost in my own thoughts for another five or ten minutes before there was a knock on the door.

"Alice, darling, it's Esme." Esme's voice floated in. "Can I come in?"

I shook my head at my sister. She knew that there was something wrong and when didn't open up and talked to her, she sent in someone who I would. Thankfully, it was the only person in the house who knew anything about what I was dealing with and could help me better than anyone else.

"Sure." I stated sitting up and pulling my knees into my chest.

She walked in and I could tell from what she was wearing and the state of her hair, that she had been cleaning things. She walked over and sat beside me on the bed.

"Rose said that you cancelled your guys trip to Seattle today." she said. "She seems to think that it's because something's wrong."

I nodded.

"So what is it?" she asked.

"It's started." I whispered.

"What's started, sweetie?"

"Bella and Jasper."

"Oh honey!" she wrapped her arms around me. "What makes you say that?"

I told her all about the conversation I heard. I told her about everything including the kiss and the decision they made to stay away from each other for me.

"And I'm so confused. And it just hurts so bad." I explained trying to control my emotions. "And I don't know why. I mean I've known it was all coming, but now that it's happening, I can't. And I don't even know what to do. I mean, with what I've seen and heard, I know that the ball's in my court and I have to decide what to do. I mean I want them to be happy and together. I love them both and don't want them to suffer on my account but I'm not ready to let go, yet. There's just so much."

"Honey, calm down." Esme cooed and tightened her grip on me. "You don't have to decide anything just yet."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well, you said the future going to be the same no matter what, right?" she asked and I nodded. "Well, don't do anything. Just let them do what they want and let the pieces fall."

"But that's going to hurt them to be apart like that." I stated. "I can't stand to think of them in pain."

"I know, honey." she replied rubbing my shoulder. "But their doing this because they love you and don't want to see you in pain. It's there gift to you. They'll eventually get their happily ever after, so take the gift of more time and cherish it. Don't worry about them, they'll be happy later. You just worry about getting as much happiness out of this as possible."

I smiled slightly at her as I thought about her words. She was right, as always. Bella and Jasper we going to get married, regardless of what happened between Jasper and I. They would have their happiness soon enough. I was going to give him up in the end, so why shouldn't I be able to enjoy the time I had left with him.

"So I should just let go and let things happen they way the were meant to." I questioned.

"Exactly." Esme replied. "You're relationship will end when it's meant to. There's no reason to rush it, especially if you don't want to lose him so soon."

"But Esme, I don't think that I could continue to be with a man who doesn't love me anymore." I stated. That would definitely hurt me way worse than giving him up completely.

"Sweetheart, just because he loves Bella now, doesn't mean he loves you any less than he did before. You and he were together through some of the darkest times of your existences. You can't go through stuff like that and not end up loving each other. He may love Bella now, but you'll always have a special place in his heart. Nothing that anyone will say or do can change that." she answered.

I knew she was right about that one too. Jasper loved me and I loved him. That was something that would never change. I knew from the first time I saw his face in that vision, that I would love him forever and he'd feel the same about me. Yes, he would eventually love Bella more than he loved me, but it didn't change the fact that he loved me.

"Thanks, Esme." I whispered. "You always know the right thing to say."

"It's all part of being a mother." she replied and kissed my forehead. "Now, why don't you go see Rose and tell her that you changed your mind. And I'll get cleaned up and find out if Bella wants to join us in Seattle. I think that we could all go for a distraction in the form of a girls day. What about you?"

"That does sound wonderful." I replied.

"Good. Go get Rose and Bella and I will meet you in the porsche." she stated. My face probably lit up brighter than a Christmas tree. "I thought you might like that." Esme smiled as she kissed the top of my head and walked out the door.

I ran a quick brush through my hair and headed out the door to make Rose's day.

A/N: I hope you liked this chapter. I also hope that Alice's thoughts weren't too annoying. Finally, I hope you all see the importance of them right now. Anyway, I can't wait to hear what you guys think. REVIEW OR FLYING MONKEYS WILL EAT YOU IN YOUR SLEEP.