A/N: Hey guys. I'm sorry that my updates haven't been everyday like they usually are. I've just been extremely busy lately and end up coming home exhausted most nights from work. I'm trying very hard to finish this story so I can work on my novel. However, with my busy schedule, it's much harder to do. Thank you for bearing with me on all of it. Anyway, here's the update. Unfortunsately, it's another tear jerker. Don't worry, the mood will start to pick up again soon, though. And a quick aside, Alice and Jasper's part are slightly out of order. I did that because I thought that it would be the easiest way for you guys to understand. I hope it doen'st confuse anyone. Anywho, I hope you all enjoy this one.
ALICE
The scent hit me less than a second after Jasper took off up the stairs. It sent such a fiery and nearly undeniable thrist down my throat that it could only be one thing; freshly spilled human blood. It didn't take long to identify it as Bella's freshly spilled blood. She was, after all, the only human within smelling distance of the house.
Once it registered as Bella's, I followed Jasper up the stairs. The family was at my heels a few short seconds after. They were all delayed by the confusion of what Jasper and I needed to talk about.
By the time we reached Bella's room, Jasper had busted in the bedroom door and knocked the bathroom one right out of the frame. He was kneeling beside the tub with his arms around a sobbing Bella. He had her pressed tightly to his chest. I could tell he was trying hard not to breathe. He had a, once white, now blood soaked towel, pressed to Bella's left forearm. Her right one, however, was still bleeding freely but not nearly as bad as her left one.
I had to put my hand over my mouth and nose just to keep the burning thirst away. Even that didn't help much though. Emmett already had to race out of the room. It was just a little too much for him. I was sure it was getting to Esme and Rosalie as well, however, I think they were frozen in place from the shock of what they were seeing.
Jasper was kneeling there , beside a bleeding Bella, and staying completely in control. I was sure they were all recalling the simple papercut on her eighteenth birthday. He hadn't be able to handle himself with the tiny bit of blood that escape her fingers. Neither Carlisle or Rosalie could even begin to understand what they were seeing.
Esme and I, however, knew exactly what was going on. Jasper was in love with Bella, and couldn't imagine his life without her. Especially if he was the one responsible for her death. Those were the only thoughts that kept him from ripping her throat out on the spot.
JASPER
"Oh god, Bella, what did you do?" I breathed as I grabbed a white towel off of the sink and ran to her side.
Her left arm had a deep cut from her wrist to her elbow. It was bleeding heavily. Her right one, was cut as well, however, it wasn't as deep or long as the one on her left. I asessed that her right wasn't anything to worry much about.
She hadn't reacted to the sound of the door falling over and didn't seem at all aware of me presence. She just stared intently at her forearm. This worried me. By the look of things, she had intended to kill herself this time and now she was just waiting for death to engulf to take her. I could tell by the look of her pale skin and the redness of the water, that she had already lost a substantial amount. I was surprised that she was still concious at this point.
The smell of the blood burned the back of my throat as I knelt down beside her. However, I found the thirst easier to ignore, considering what was at stack at the moment. I immediately pressed the towel to her left forearm, hard. I hoped that it would not only stem the flow, but it would sting enough to pull her out of whatever mental block or trance she was in.
A small weak hiss of pain from her lips told me that it had the desired affect. I saw her blink a couple of times, then her eyes widen in shock and fear as she realized what was going on. She looked instantly to me and I could see tears pooling in her eyes.
"Jasper," she said weakly. "I'm so sorry. I just couldn't do it, anymore. And I was hurting everyone. And..and...and.."
She broke then and buried her face in my chest as if embarassed by the whole thing. I wrapped the arm that wasn't putting pressure on the wound around her back and held her close to me.
"Shh..." I whispered. "I understand."
We stayed like that for the few seconds it took for Carlisle to get in there with his black bag and the family trailing behind him.
Emmett, I noticed, had to dart from the room right away. The blood was too much for him and I understood that completely. I could tell the uncomfortable looks on everyone else's face that they wanted nothing more than to scatter as well. The only thing stoppin them was the shock that was rolling off of everyone in waves.
None of them could believe that I was able to handle being this close to this much fresh human blood and be as in control as I was. I mean considering what happened last time. I had to admit that I was completely shocked myself. I had no idea how I was able to do it, really. I just knew that I didn't want her to die.
I suppose that I now knew how Edward felt everytime he would come into contact with her.
Carlisle was the first to recover from the shock. He walked quickly to me and knelt beside me.
"Jasper," he whispered as he placed his hand on my shoulder. I noticed that Bella's breathing was getting weaker as he did this. "I think it might be best if you leave right now."
"No," I replied. "I need to stay with her and make sure that she's okay."
"I'll take care of her." he replied speaking quickly. "But I know it's been a couple weeks since your last hunt and I don't want to take the risk. She's already lost too much blood."
"I'm fine." I stated, even though the burning in my throat was close to unbearable.
"Jasper, please, we don't have time to fight about this." he coaxed. "Just leave for her sake."
"Jasper, it's okay." Bella said weakly in my chest. "Go, there's no reason for you to be uncomfortable."
It seemed as though she held on just long enough to tell me that. The minute the words were out of her mouth, she fell limply into my arms. Those words and the fact that she was unconcious was what I needed to push me out the door. Carlisle needed to take care of her and he couldn't do that if he was worrying about me.
"Alright." I replied and kissed her forehead. "Just please, save her, Carlisle."
"I'll do my best, son." he answered sadly.
Alice and Rosalie had now joined us by the tub. Rosalie had a white robe in her hand. I stepped away to allow them to pick Bella up and wrap her in the robe. Then I ran out of the house to the one spot I always found comfort.
ALICE
I watched and listened carefully as Carlisle tried to convince Jasper to leave.
I was reminded of Edward the night of Bella's eighteenth birthday. Jasper refused to leave, exactly like Edward did, no matter how uncomfortable things were for him. He knew it was dangerous, but he cared too much to leave without knowing it was okay. He didn't even agree to leave until Bella told him too. Exactly the same way Edward had that fateful night.
It wasn't until that moment did I realize exactly how much Jasper loved and cared for her. He was willing to put himself through the worst kind of discomfort for her protection. However, he wasn't unable to deny her anything that she asked him for. Which was exactly how Edward had always been with her.
Jasper and Bella were meant for each other and that's all there was to it. It was just something that I was going to have to accept and deal with.
I followed Rosalie, who was carrying a white robe, over to the tub to help pull a now unconcious Bella out of the tub. Jasper ran out the minute we took over. I lifted Bella out of the tub and held her up while Rose wrapped her in the robe. Then I carried her out of the room and laid her on the bed.
"Okay," Carlisle said preparing his instruments. "I want the rest of you to leave as well." He said very quickly, even for us.
"Someone should stay in case you need help." I replied just as quickly.
"No, Alice." he countered. "Like I said to Jasper, she's already lost way too much blood as it is. She wouldn't survive it if any of you attacked her. Which is why I can't take any chances."
"But....But...But..." I stuttered.
"Just go, Alice." he ordered. "I need to uncover the wound and find out if she needs a transfusion. And I can't expose anymore blood until you're a safe distance away. I promise I'll do what I can and call you when I finish. But you have to leave, I don't want you doing anything that you're going to regret."
"Okay." I whispered defeated.
"I would go find Jasper, if I were you." He said and I could here the slight accusation in his voice. Great, he knew exactly how to interpret Jasper's reaction to what just happened. Which meant he blamed me for this. "I seem to recall you saying that you needed to talk to him."
"Right." I replied unable to keep the hurt out of my voice.
As I ran down the stairs, I noticed that Rosalie and Esme exited the room the second Carlisle asked. Rosalie was probably off trying to find Emmett to calm him down and bring him back. I ran past Esme, who was in the kitchen, no doubt, fixing something for Bella to eat. She'd definitely need some kind of nutrients if she woke up.
I ran out the backdoor and to mine and Jasper's place, the brook just before our hunting grounds. I prayed with all of my might that he'd be there, because if he wasn't, I'd have no idea where else to look for him.
As I approached the spot, I, thankfully, saw Jasper sitting against a tree. He had his head in his hands and looked utterly broken. I don't think that I had ever seen his so upset in the decades that I had known him.
I slowed my walk, playing for more time. I still had no idea how I was going to tell him the things I needed to say. And now, with what happened to Bella, I was starting to lose my nerve. What if he blamed me for what Bella did to herself? What if he's angry that I didn't stop this, even though I had the power to? There were too many worries and what ifs for this to end well.
He didn't look up until I was directly in front of him. His were black and they looked tortured beyond anything that I could've possibly imagined.
"Hi." he whispered dryly.
"Hi." I whispered back. "Can I sit?"
He shrugged his shoulders and I plopped down beside him. I placed a gentle comforting hand on his shoulder but he didn't even look at me. We were silent for a long time as I simply stared at the space in front of him.
"Are you alright?" I asked quietly. It was a stupid question and I knew it. However, I couldn't really think of anything else to say at the moment.
"What do you think Alice?" he replied angrily. "I mean, Bella just hurt herself again after promising not to. I'm pretty sure that she was actually trying to kill herself this time. Hell, we can't even be sure if she going to survive. And it's all my fault. So, no, I'm not okay."
I sighed. I knew that he was going to blame himself. Which was hardly fair. He was only trying to do what he thought would make me happy. Bella's was doing the same thing. I was the selfish one here. This was my fault. I should've let him go that morning three months ago. All of this could've been avoided if I had just let him go then.
"It's not your fault, Jazz." I whispered looking at the floor. "It's mine."
"How do you fiugre that?" he asked with a humorless laugh.
"I knew what she wanted and needed to survive. And it was in my power to give it to her. However, I was too selfish to walk away for her sake. And now she could be dying because of that." I said. I knew I was being vague, but I couldn't bring myself to say the whole truth just yet.
"And what exactly did you have that she needed?" he asked. I had a feeling he knew what I was getting at, however, he wasn't ready to admit to it either. I guess we were both gigantic cowards.
"You." I whispered sadly staring at the ground.
"I don't know what you're talking about." He replied trying to play stupid. I guess he really wasn't ready to admit it to me.
"Jazz, enough lying." God, how I wished I could cry. "It was the lies that got us here. Lies that could very well be taking Bella's life at the moment. So let's not make it any worse. I want her to be happy, again, if she pulls out of this. The only that's going to happen is by telling the truth from now on."
He was silent for a long time, just staring in front of him. I could see several emotions pass across his face. Relief, guilt, anger, sadness, pain. It hurt me to see him struggling with this. I wanted nothing more than to pull him into my embrace and tell him everything was going to be fine. However, I couldn't do that just yet. We needed to finish this conversation, first. It was the only way for any of us to have a hope for a happy ending.
"How long have you known?" he finally sighed.
"Since the day Edward died." I admitted still staring at the ground.
He finally looked at me. I could see confusion mixed with the beginnings of anger.
"I don't understand?" he asked. I sighed and looked back at the ground.
"I had a vision of the two of you together." I purposely didn't tell him what they were doing. I didn't want to ruin all of the surprises for them. "Just after you stopped her from attacking Jacob." I chanced a glance at him and I could see the anger beginning to bubble out. I needed to finish before he got to angry to listen anymore. "I decided that night, while you were taking care of her, that I'd let you go to her when the time came. However, she ran away before I could do or say anything to help. I did, however, keep an eye on the future the entire five months that she was gone, and the vision didn't change. That's why I pushed you so hard to go talk to her. I knew that you helping her could only lead to one thing. I thought I would have more time, though, so it didn't bother me much that you were getting close to her. Then three months ago, I heard the two of you confessing your feelings to each other. I also heard your resolve to pretend that those feelings didn't exist for my sake. I..."
"So you mean to tell me that you knew exactly what was causing her rehression and you did nothing?" he asked, his anger suddenly getting the best of him. "She was willing to go through hell to make sure you were happy and you just sat back and watched her suffer. You're so fucking selfish."
His words and the disgust with which he said them stung me. Did he have any idea how hard this was on me? He was my husband and the love of my life. I wanted him as much as Bella needed him. Did he not understand that?
"You have no fucking idea what I've been going through since the day I had that vision." I responded trying to control my anger. "I wanted to give you up for the sake of my best friend. You have no idea how much guilt I've been carrying around. I love Bella and I love you. And I want both of you to be happy. But Jazz, I love you. And I always have. You were there for me through the worst possible time in my life. You have no idea how hard it is for me to even imagine letting you go. I've be trying so hard, but it hurt too much. And I'm sorry for what Bella went through. You have no idea how guilty I feel about what she just did, but she's not the only person who's been hurting over this. I know how deeply you feel about her and don't want to see her in pain, I don't either, but doesn't the pain I've had to go through during this whole affair mean anything to you?"
My words seemed to snap him out of his anger. He stared at me with an awkward expression on his. It was a cross between sympathy and sadness. I wasn't sure what he was thinking at all. It surprised me when he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to him.
"I'm sorry." he whispered. "I know this has been just as hard for you as it was for Bella. I mean I am an empath and all. I'm just so worried about Bella and I can't imagine what would happen if I lost her. And I...I...I.."
"Jazz, it's okay." I whispered. "I understand. I'm worried too. And I'm so sorry that it had to come to this."
"It's not your fault." he answered. "This is a shitty situation. Someone was bound to get hurt. I just wish it didn't have to be Bella. She doesn't need anymore heartache."
We silent for another few minutes. I just sat there in his arms taking in everything I could and getting my last fill of him.
"So what are we going to do?" Jasper asked.
I pushed myslef away from him and laced our fingers together.
"We're going to go to Carlisle tomorrow and tell him that we want a divorce." I said. "Then you're going to give Bella exactly what she needs, wants, and deserves." I answered sadly.
"No, I can't do that to you, Al." he replied. "I could never hurt you like that."
"This isn't about me Jazz. It's about Bella and her feelings. As much as I love you, I know I don't need you anymore and as much as it's going to hurt, I can exist without you. But Bella, she loves and needs you way more than I do right now. She can't even live without you."
"But Al," he whispered cupping my face in his free hand. "I don't want you to have to hurt."
"Someone's got to. And I rather it be me, than Bella. I'm mean she's just a fragile human, after all. I'm a big bad vampire. I can handle this, she can't."
He smiled at me and freed his hand from mine. He held my face tightly in both hands. I could see a great amount of pain and guilt in his black eyes, however, the was certain amount of relief and happiness in them as well.
"Al, I want you to know that you are the most amazing and selfless creature that I have ever met." he said. "You are special and beautiful and intelligent. And that fact that you are willing to give up the thing you love most for your best friend's hapiness, just makes you that much more amazing. I love you and some part of my heart will always belong to you. You deserve you chance at happiness and I promise to do everything in my power to make sure that you get exactly that."
With those words, he brought his lips crashing down on mine. It was the purest most passionate and wonderful kiss we'd ever shared. My heart broke just a little to know that it was going to be our last. However, my resolve never wavered. Bella needed this way more than I did right now.
We broke apart after several long moments and just stared into each others eyes. I noticed his were still pitch black.
"Maybe, we should hunt?" I suggested.
"Well, that just killed the moment." he stated with a small chuckle.
"Well, if you wanna see Bella when Carlisle gets finished, you need to get some blood in you. We don't need another scare tonight." I replied.
"I suppose you're right." He sighed helping me stand.
I smiled wickedly as I got to me feet and leapt across the water without warning.
"Catch me, if you can!" I yelled.
Jasper smiled playfully and leapt across the water as well. And with that we embarked on what was surely going to be our last hunt together.
A/N: I hope you guys like this one. It took me forever because I wanted to be exactly right. Also, I know a lot of you are thinking that there's no way Jasper would say those things. However, the woman he loved could by dying. Of course, he going to mad at anyone who had anything to do with that. However, indirectly. Anyway, please review.
