A/N: Once again, sorry for the bad updating skills. My life had been a little crazy and I'm just getting over a small bout of the flu. One that I had to go to work through. So I've been exhausted and just wanted to sleep when I was home. However, I hope that this one is worth waiting for.
BELLA
I woke up in my soft warm bed at the Cullens' house, unsure of how I got there. There was a dull throbbing pain in my head and strong waves of nausea were rolling through my stomach. I closed my eyes and tried to remember exactly what happened.
I remembered following a bloody trail of puddles and paw prints, knowing what I'd find at the end. I was clinging to Jasper for dear life as we walked toward the kitchen, toward the part that I didn't want to remember. I forced my mind to contiue walking down the hallway with Jasper by my side. Sure enough, we entered the kitchen to find Charlie's lifeless and mangled body laying next to a pool of his own blood.
I pulled myself out of the memory and choked back a sob. Charlie was dead. Murdered, I was positive, my my once best friend. It was too much to take, too hard to believe. It couldn't really be true. But if it wasn't, then I'd be enjoying dinner with my father at the moment. Not laying in bed trying to keep my rage at bay. It was way easier for me to be angry than to be sad.
The rage, however, was getting to a point where it was nearly out of control. I found that I wanted to hurt Jacob Black the same way he had hurt me. I wanted to rip apart and kill everyone and everything he ever held dear. I wanted him to know what it felt like to lose his father, his sisters, and maybe even the pack. I wanted to do it with my bare hands, so I could show him just how much he had hurt me.
I knew, though, that it wasn't a logical outlet for my anger. If I killed inoccent people just to get back at him, then I was no better than he was. That was something that I didn't want to be. Besides, I knew I could never bring myself to kill another living being, no matter how angry I was.
The anger didn't go away, though. I needed some way to get rid of it. I looked around the room, praying Jasper was there to calm. He, however, was nowhere to be found. That knowledge just added to my anger.
Why wasn't he here with me? This was one time I needed him more than anything else in the world. I needed him to hold me and tell me that everything was going to be okay. Yet, he was no where to be found. I knew on some level, though, that only something really important could keep him away from me on a day like this. I, however, couldn't fathom what would be more important than him being with me after something like this.
The rage bubbled over then. I was suddenly on my feet and throwing anything that I could get my hands on. Pictures, C.D.'s, clothes, nic nacs. Anything that wasn't bolted to the wall ended up on the otherside of the room. I even managed to throw a book out of the window. It took me a minute to realize that I was screaming and crying through my fury. I didn't care, though, I just needed to get all of this anger out. I knew I'd feel a whole lot better when I was done.
I wasn't even going at it for more than five minutes when I felt a pair of strong cold arms wrap around me, from behind, pinning my arms to my sides. I wriggled and struggled against the restraining arms, even though I knew it was pointless.
"Let me go!" I cried. "I need to do something. To hurt somebody."
"Bella," Emmett's voice was in my ear. "Calm down, please. Breathe and relax. Everything is fine."
"No, Emmett, everything is not fine." I yelled ceasing my struggles. "My best friend murdered my father just to hurt me! I need to hurt...I need to kill...I need Jasper." My yells broke into sobs. "Where's Jasper? Why isn't here? I need him. And he's gone. He left me just like Edward."
During my speech, Emmett managed to pull me down onto the bed. He placed me in his lap and was cradling me in his arms.
"He didn't leave you, Bella." he whispered stroking my hair. "He wanted more than anything to be here when you woke up, but Carlisle needed him for something more important.
"What could possibly more important than being here for me at a time like this?" I sniffled.
"A meeting with the pack." Emmett replied. "Jacob is getting out of hand and needs to be dealt with. Carlisle wants to make sure that he actually gets a proper punishment this time. He's also going to be sure that the two who attacked Alice and Rosalie get what's coming to them as well."
I nodded relieved that I finally understood what was going on. Emmett was right, meeting the pack was way more important than being with me. Especially with all the hostility between the two groups. If it turned into a fight Carlisle would need every man he could get. So why was Emmett still here? Why wasn't he at the meeting as well?
"If it's so important, Emmett," I whispered. "Then why are you still here?" I hoped I sounded meerly curious and not accusing.
"Well, see one of them attacked Rose a couple miles from Charlie's place." Emmett answered sadly. "He got the better of her. In fact, had I not found them when I did, she would've been killed." I gasped at that thought. "Don't worry, she made it. However, she suffered some extremely serious injuries at his hands. The venom, of course, will be able to put her back in one piece. However, it's going to be just as painful as the first time. And there's nothing we can do to make it any easier on her. I couldn't bear to leave her alone, which is why Carlisle asked Jasper to go, instead."
"Oh god, Emmett, I'm so sorry." I whispered unable to believe how much pain they were once again suffering because of me. "It's all my fault."
"Don't even go there Bella. This isn't anybody's fault but the stupid mutts'. You had no way of knowing they were capable of any of this."
"But if I had only given Jacob what he wanted in the beginning, none of this would've happened. If I had just stayed with him, instead of going back to Alice that day, everything would be fine. Edward would be alive, Charlie would be alive, Rosalie wouldn't be in any pain, and your family would still be whole and the treaty still intact. You'd all be happy." I argued.
"That may be true, Bella, but if you had given into him, you would be unhappy. And who knows what would've happened if Jacob caught on to that unhappiness. He could've still snapped and started hurting you. None of us would've wanted that. We all want you to be happy. No matter what it means for us. You should no that by now." Emmett stated. "And I can bet you anything that Edward, Charlie, and Rose would rather be where they are now, than have you spend the rest of you life in the hands of a psychotic werewolf. I know the family would rather be on the brink of war than see you sad or in pain."
I was shocked and comforted by Emmett's words, whether or not I believed them to be true. I wasn't completely sure why, though. I knew that if it had been Jasper or Alice saying them, I wouldn't have been comforted at all. I would've felt even more guilty, actually.
I think it had something to do with the fact that this wasn't normal Emmett behavior. Normally, he'd be the one to simply make a joke about whatever was upsetting you and let you laugh it off. It wasn't very often at all that he had a serious conversation about your problem. It was oddly comforting to know that he cared enough to walk away from his fascade and say the things I needed to hear. Even if the weren't necessarily words that I wanted to hear or believe.
A loud but muffled scream from a few rooms away broke into my reverie. It was only then that I realized Emmett must've left Rosalie to check on me when he heard my tantrum. Now she was all alone and in pain. I felt guilty for taking him away from her in her time of need.
"Umm..Bella," Emmett stated uncomfortably. "I know you really need someone right now, but I can't just let Rose lay in there by herself. Do you mind..."
"Go, Emmett." I whispered. "You've done enough for me. I'll be fine. I promise."
"Thanks Bella." he replied and kissed the top of my head. "I'll be back to check on you in a little bit."
I nodded and he ran swiftly and gracefully out the door.
I sat on the bed for a long moment just staring at the mess in front of me. I was starting to feel a little guilty and ashamed of my outburst. It was something a five year old would do. I was a grown woman who shouldn't need her emotion controlling boyfriend to keep her anger underwraps. I shook my head.
I needed to get the mess cleaned up before Jasper got back. I didn't want him to think that I was completely psyhco. I didn't want him to have any excuse to leave me.
I stepped slowly off of the bed and heard a soft crunch under my foot. I looked down to see a picture frame under my foot and knew I had broken the glass. I lifted the frame and tossed it across the room. Instinctively, I reached out to grab one of the largest and sharpest pieces.
I realized then just how wonderful the numbing feeling would be on my emotions. I found myself wondeing how bad it would hurt after a few months of not doing it or even thinking about it. I needed the relief, I really did, and there was no one else there to help me. It was just me and those beautiful pieces of glass. It would've been so much easier to just tear my skin open and watch it bleed, then to wait for Jasper....
I yanked my hand back at that thought. I made a promise to Jasper, to my family, and to myself. I was finished with that part of my life. I would just have to deal with my pain just like every other God damned human on the planet. Just let it run it's course.
It was, of course, a lot easier to have those thoughts than it was to follow through with them. I knew I shouldn't do it, but I was also sure that it would be pure heaven the minute one of those pieces broke my skin.
I stared at the jagged pieces of glass for a few long moments as I tried to justify doing it to myself. I, however, couldn't find a good enough reason to do it. Still, the glass pieces just looked so inviting.
A loud beep coming from the direction of my dresser, pulled me out of my trance. I recognized the beep as my cell phone telling me that I had a missed call. I slowly got up and walked to the phone, suddenly worried about who it was.
I flipped it opened and scrawled through my missed call list. When I found the one I was looking for, my heart skipped a beat. I warily opened the phone and dialed my voiceamail, almost panicking as I wondered what else Jacob Black could possibly want from me.
JASPER
We met the wolves in our usual spot. A clearing that was split directly in half by the treaty line.
Carlisle, Esme, Alice, and I stood in a line a foot or so away from the treaty line. I could feel sadness, pain, and anger coming off all of them. I tried my hardest to continue rolling out waves of calm, but it was getting harder and harder by the minute to control my own anger. I wanted nothing more than to cross that line and rip everyone of their heads off.
It didn't help that the five oldest - Sam, Jared, Paul, Embry, and Quil - were standing at the front in human form with there arms crossed over their chest, while the rest of the pack was lined up in wolf form, just waiting for Sam to order an attack. The five in the front looked very calm and in control, considering we were here to potentially start a war. I could feel a smug confidence radiating off of the pack. It reminded me of children who had just got caught doing something wrong, but was sure they could talk their way out of it (A/N: Something my sister had always been amazing at).
It made me even more angry to think of the possibnility of them denying it all. However, once I felt the determination coming off of Carlisle, I felt better. He wasn't going to let them get off easy like that. Something the entire family was grateful for. They had caused this family too much pain over the last year. Pain that was completely unecessary. Carlisle was determined to make sure that didn't get away with it anymore.
"Dr. Cullen." Sam stated with an incline of his head. I could tell by the sound of his voice that he'd rather be anywhere but here. I could also sense that whatever truce we had for Bella's sake was dead and gone. Which was fine with us. It wasn't like Bella wanted anything more to do with the wolves anyway.
"Good evening, Sam." Carlisle replied trying to be as polite as possible through his anger.
Carlisle knew that it wouldn't be wise to start something now. As badly as we all wanted revenge, we knew that we were sadly outnumbered and there was no way we could win, even if we tried. Carlisle knew this. Which is why he was trying so hard to keep this comfortable and calm.
"You said that you had something that you wished to discuss with us." Sam stated.
"Sadly, we do." Carlisle answered. "And I doubt you're going to like it."
"We're listening." Sam responded. The arrogance that was coming off of him in waves was making me even angry. It's like he knew exactly what we were going to say and had a counter arguement for it.
"We're here to talk about the treaty that was broken on your end at least three times in the last eight or so hours." Carlisle stated still trying to sound polite.
"I beg your pardon." Sam asked looking shocked.
"At least three members of your pack have broken the treaty in the last eight hours." Carlisle stated. "I'm not sure if it was to your knowledge or not. Somehow, though, I'm sure you knew about it. However, that gives us sufficient cause to start an all out war. However, we don't wish to fight you. We simply want justice for what's happened today. If you are willing to give us that, then they'll be no need for us to go after your pack."
"That's a very serious accusation. And yes, I am aware of the things that happened this afternoon. However, I fail to see where we broke our end of the treaty. Would you care to explain?"
Carlisle took a deep brath and pinched the bridge of his nose. Sam feigning ignorance was making him angrier and angrier by the minute. I didn't know how much more he could take really. I mean, he was already angrier than I'd ever seen him in my time of knowing him. I could feel his want to rip Sam to bits for allowing this to happen.
That's how I knew it was bad. Carlisle had never relished the idea of hurting or killing another living creature. Hell, he only killed the animals because he didn't have any other choice. To stand here and feel that he was ready to murder someone came as a huge shock. I supposed, though, that even the most peaceful man in the world would be ready to kill if someone hurt his family the way Carlisle's had been hurt over the last year.
I poured as much calming emotions into Carlisle that I could muster. We could afford to have any of us snap right now. We wouldn't survive a fight with them. Not with our tiny numbers.
"About five or six hours ago, you allowed Jacob Black to kill Charlie Swan, an inoccent human." Carlisle answered. "And you helped him do it, by having two of your brothers attack both my daughters, and nearly killed one, unprovoked."
Sam chuckled a little to himself, as did the other four in the front. Their reaction to our pain made me even angrier. I found myself slipping into a crouch and letting out a warning growl. Esme placed a comforting, yet reprimanding hand on my shoulder and I pulled out of the crouch.
"I'm sorry." Sam replied getting his composure back. "But it seems there has been a misunderstanding on the issue of Jacob Black."
"And what might that be?" Esme questioned.
"Well, you see, Jacob is no longer a member of our pack. He was exiled a year ago. While we still consider him like a brother and would avenge him should anyone try to hurt him, he's no longer part of this pack. Which means that he no longer has to live by the rules of the treaty and is no longer obligated to follow my orders or the orders of the Elders. He can do whatever he wants, even if that means killing a human. There's nothing we could've done about it." Sam explained.
I found myself growling again as Carlisle struggled to control his instinct. I don't think that any of us expected him to use Jacob's "exile" against us. It was after all a punishment that they had not enforced. The entire family had known it was only done for show. Now, they were using it as a scapegoat. It made me sick to thick about. I could feel Carlisle's pulsing anger and wondered how he was still in control of himself. I would've launched myself across the clearing by now, if it wasn't for Esme.
I couldn't believe someone could be so cold hearted as that? Whether or not, Jacob had to listen, they should've tried to stop him, even it meant attacking him. Charlie was an inoccent man who had done Jacob no harm. In fact, Charlie treated Jacob like a son, as far as I heard. He didn't deserve to be murdered in cold blood.
"Be that as it may." Carlilse growled out. "Isn't it the tribe's job to protect the inoccent humans of La Push as well as Forks. Charlie Swan was the chief of police, a good man, and the best father Bella could've ever asked for. There was nothing more inoccent and good than Charlie Swan and you let him die. You allowed one of you own to kill him. That should be sufficient enough evidence for me to believe that the treaty was broken. The fact that you didn't do your job and protect an inoccent human. You let him be killed."
"On the contrary Dr. Cullen," Sam stated. "It is our job to protect the humans of La Push and Forks from creatures like you. It is what we are trained for and what were made for. It's what we are bound to do. However, nowhere in the job description does it say that we have to fight one of our own kind to keep humans alive. Especially one of our brothers. It's against our nature to do something like that. Charlie Swan's death is regrettable yes, but you couldn't have expected us to hurt or kill one of our own to stop him from killing someone else. It just wouldn't be right."
"That's bullshit!" I growled. "Sure, family and loyalty is important. I wouldn't dream of hurting any member of my family, however, if I knew they were doing wrong, I'd do what I could to stop them. There's no way I would sit back and let it happen. Or help them do it for that matter. That would be wrong and monstrous on so many levels."
"Enough, Jasper." Carlisle stated calmly raising his hand to silence me. Esme hand tightened on my shoulder and Alice linked her fingers in mine. I held back taking my strength from them as I fought to keep in control.
"Let's put the Jacob issue aside for a moment then. It is after all a very gray area. I would like to know how you're going to explain the unprovoked attacks on Alice and Rosalie because those are definitely treaty breakers." Carlisle continued.
"Well, Dr. Cullen, you can't consider it an unprovoked attack if Embry and Quil thought our land or a human was being threatened." Sam stated as if that explained everything. I surpressed the urge to growl again.
"And how on earth could they have possibily felt threatened. Alice and Rosalie were just watching and listening. Nothing more." Carlisle argued.
"Well, according to what I saw in Embry's head, when he caught the small one's scent," Sam rebutted. Alice growled at his description of her. "He followed it and found her standing only a few inches away from the boundary line and chased her away. She turned around and attacked him afterward."
"That's a lie!" Alice yelled and it was my turn to hold her back. "I was a good twenty feet away from that line when he came out of nowhere and attacked me. I lead him away from the line and out of sight of the humans."
"Are you calling me a liar?!" Embry yelled back at Alice.
"Yup!" Alice answered with a smile.
I saw Embry quiver just slightly and set out a wave of calm that hopefully reached everyone in the clearing. Judging by the look on Embry's face, it did.
"This is getting us nowhere." Carlisle sighed. "And let me guess, you have some kind of excuse for nearly killing my Rosalie as well, right?"
"Well, that one was an accident." Sam replied. "You see, we've been running circles around Charlie's house for a couple months now trying to make sure nobody gets to him. Since even his own daughter didn't seem interested anymore."
"Don't even go there!" I growled out figthing the urge to attack. How dare he insult Bella in that manner?! "Bella loved Charlie more than anything or anyone else in there world. He was the first person she thought about whenever there was trouble. And his safety was always top on her priority list. It isn't her fault that Jacob completely messed her up by killing Edward. She needed time away from Charlie, so she could thoroughly recover from what all the mental shit she went through! This isn't her fault!"
"Jasper, you need to relax." Carlisle stated firmly. I took a few breaths and tried to relax my body and my mind.
"As I was saying, Quil was running around the house keeping an eye on things when he caught the blonde one's scent. He didn't stop to think about who's it belonged to, he just smelled a leech and viewed it as a threat. He did the only rational thing he could. He attacked." Sam shrugged.
"Attacking was the only rational thing he could think of?!" Carlisle asked in outrage. "What about figuring out who he was attacking first, then finding out why she was there. You know, talking, it could've saved us from having an accident all together."
"That is true, however, it is not in our nature to ask question first. When we see a vampire threat, we attack. We do what needs to be done to eliminate the threat. Sometimes, accidents happen and that's regrettable, but we have to do our duty to protect the humans. I'm sorry that your daughter ended up hurt." Sam stated not sounding at all sorry.
"But we not only have a treaty, we have a truce." Carlisle argued. "We owe it to each other to ask questions and make sure mistakes like these do not happen. That way we can keep the peace better and avoid situations like these."
"Yes, Dr. Cullen, we have a treaty. One that we feel has not yet been broken by either side. However, out truce was only in place while Bella's life was in danger and she was still in the middle. Seeing as she's no longer in danger and she's obviously chosen sides, then the truce is no longer in existence. The being said, if any one of you so much as think about breaking the treaty, we will attack and we won't show any mercy. We will destroy every last one of you. And if Bella ends up getting bitten and changed, regardless of the circumstances, we will attack and destroy all of you, including her. So I would tread carefully if I were you."
"See, Sam, the problem with that is, whether or not you feel you broke the treaty and no matter how you justify it, we feel that you have and that gives us sufficient cause to attack right now." Carlisle stated.
"If you wanna start something right now, Dr. Cullen, you're more than welcome to." Sam invited. "We're more than prepared to take you out at any given moment."
Carlisle didn't answer Sam right away. I could feel indecision radiating off of him. I knew he wanted to attack and take down as many wolves as possible, just as much as the rest of us. However, he knew, as well as the rest of us, that we were outnumbered. The could team up and have all of us destroyed before we could even cut one of them down. While Carlisle wanted justice for Bella, Rosalie, Charlie, and Edward, he didn't want to lose any more of us, either. And I couldn't bear the thought of Bella having to live on without me.
"No," Carlisle finally answered. "I don't want to start something right now. In fact, I don't want to start anything at all. However, you're pack has hurt my family so much tonight that I do want justice for what you've done. So I'm going to give you twenty four hours to consult with your Elders. I want them to come up with, dole out, and enforce an appropriate punishment for what Jacob, Embry, and Quil did today. If I find the punishment fits the crime, then we'll be a good terms again. However, if I even think that it's another slap on the wrist type thing, then there will be a war."
"We'll take your twenty four hours. However, you should use it to prepare yourselves, because I doubt the Elders will give you what you want. Like I said earlier, even if they punished Jacob, they wouldn't be able to enforce it, because of the exile. And I highly doubt they'll punish Embry and Quil for doing their duty to the tribe and pack."
"If that's the way they want it, then we'll be prepared, but you should know, we won't be alone." Carlisle explained. "We have friends and family all over that will come to our aid. In fact, we have some extended family in Alaska who have a personal grudge against you for killing Luarent. He was one of there sister's mate. And that's something we never ever forgive."
"In that case, I hope you know this, the more leeches that you bring in town, the bigger our pack gets." Sam challenged.
"It won't be anything we can't handle." Carlisle replied.
"Well, if that's all, we have a job to do." Sam spat.
Carlisle simply waved his hand to show that we were done here. The wolves slowly scattered in different directions. The family was silent as they disappeared. We were all lost in the thoughts and ramifications of a war. Most specifically about what a war between the two species would do to Bella. She'd most definitely blame herself for it all and who knows what she'd do to get rid of that guilt. I didn't even want to begin to think about it. I didn't what I would do if she slipped back into old habits.
My cell went off in my pocket before anyone could speak. I pulled it out a flipped it opened, in less than a milisecond, without even looking at the ID.
"Hello?" I said.
"Hey Jasper, it's Emmett." Emmett's voice sounded upset and panicky.
"Hey man, what's up?" I asked unable to hold my panic down.
"I just went to check on Bella, but she's not in her room." he stated. "She's not anywhere in the house, and I have no idea where she went."
A/N: Well, what do you guys think? Worth waiting for? Please review.
