"Have you met someone yet?"
The question had caught her by such surprise that she had turned to stare at Levi. The captain was not doing much, except for leaning against the wall with his arms folded. He watched her with a critical gaze.
Mikasa couldn't help it. She scowled at him. Everytime she looked at Levi, she could not help but remember how he had treated Eren in the courtroom. Though she understood to a certain extent why Levi had done what he did, she still couldn't come to terms with forgiving him for hurting Eren.
Her palm burned just thinking of it. To think of any harm befalling Eren filled her with rage.
She narrowed her eyes, recalling Levi's recent question. "What?"
"Met someone," Levi re-stated. "Have you met someone?"
Mikasa blinked, confused. What could have meant by 'met someone'? "I've met multiple people," she answered. She knew that wasn't the answer he was looking for, but it was all she had to offer him.
To her complete surprise, Levi chuckled. It was a low chuckle, carrying faint traces of humor. "My mistake," he said, shaking his head. "That's how Kenny asked me."
Mikasa frowned. "Your uncle," she stated. She could only wonder why Levi would bother mentioning his uncle.
"Yep," Levi answered sarcastically. "And a load of help he was." With a sigh, Levi pushed himself up from off of the wall. He strode over and pulled out a chair. He sat in it, looking up at Mikasa. "Let me rephrase this then: have you met someone that you are bonded to?"
Mikasa stared in surprise. "Bonded?"
Now it was Levi's turn to blink. "You mean you don't know?" he asked. He narrowed his eyes. "You're an Ackerman, right?"
"It's my last name," she said simply.
"I know that," he said quickly. His tone sounded annoyed at her vague answer, but Mikasa wasn't sure what answer to give him. She didn't even know why he had asked her such a question to begin with.
"I've already mentioned the Ackerman Power to you," he said, glancing at her with a raised eyebrow. "Right?"
Mikasa nodded. "Right," she answered slowly. To think that power came with the Ackerman name was new to her, and she wondered if her father had unknowingly experienced this 'Ackerman Power.' This was just another situation where she wished she could speak with her father.
"Well," Levi started. "The Ackerman Power also comes with the Ackerman Bond." He shook his head. "Even I don't know the full extent of the bond, or even how it works to its full potential. All I know is that it's there, and it can drive you crazy if you don't understand what you have."
Mikasa stayed quiet, listening intently. As quietly as she could, she pulled up a chair and sat down across from Levi. Folding her hands, she leaned forward slightly.
Levi glanced at her for a moment. "As Ackermans, we can bond ourselves to someone by mixing our blood with that selected person. You are bonded to that person and serve them for the rest of your life. The bond is only broken through death, and-" Levi stopped when he noticed her expression. "What? What's with the face?"
Mikasa shook her head, closing her eyes briefly. "Nothing. It's just…" she trailed off. "A bond?"
Levi scoffed. "It's not as crazy as Titan shifters or Ackerman Power, right?"
"Right," she muttered. She considered her options. It did not seem like Levi to spin some story, or jump on a theory without some knowledge about what he was speaking about. And as much as she had her misgivings about him, she knew he would not lie to anyone about something like this. She at least would like to hear him out before she made any hasty decisions.
Levi cleared his throat. "Anyway. You can create the bond by mixing your own blood with another. Accidental or not, the bond will be created if you are not careful. You will become connected to this person, and you will be able to share feelings, thoughts and emotions. Nothing is hidden from the bond." Levi paused for a moment before stretching out his hand. "The mark of your bond is created as a reminder for all to see."
Mikasa stared at his hand, noting the long red wound. It looked barely a day old, like an injury that he had obtained from cutting a piece of fruit. She looked up into his grey eyes. "That's the mark?"
Levi nodded. "That is the mark of a bond."
Mikasa flexed her hand instinctively, the same hand where her unhealed scar was. It had been years, and she still wondered why it wasn't healed. She knew something wasn't right. Cuts didn't just not heal like that, right? She had been too ashamed to ask anyone for help or for why she was like this.
But...with what Levi was telling her...could it have been…?
Did she create a bond by accident?
There was only one person whom she could have created a bond with. Only one person who she understood without expression of words. The idea of creating a bond with him both thrilled and terrified her.
He was the same green-eyed savior who she had grown attached to all these years.
Eren Yeager.
But if she really did create a bond with Eren, when had it happened? When had they mixed blood like that? She was sure the both of them would have known. But, Levi had said that the bond could happen by accident. Maybe she and Eren had created the bond by accident, without intending to.
She couldn't just ask Eren if he had an unhealable wound on his body. She even wondered if he would still carry the mark of a bond, with his healing abilities. For some reason, the thought of the mark of their bond being erased made her wince. Her palm flared up in pain instantly, as if in response to her thoughts.
She rubbed her palm absently, oblivious to Levi's watchful gaze.
"So," she heard him say. "You've already met someone?"
She looked up to see him watching her. He smirked in response to her inquisitive gaze. "I bet you didn't know what was happening."
Mikasa looked down, unsure how to answer.
She could remember being so attuned to Eren, becoming aware of his inner thoughts and feelings. She knew what he was passionate about, what he loved doing. She knew what set him off, and what calmed him down.
She had been aware of his pain.
The first time when the Titans had attacked them. She had felt his fear as he tried to save their mother. She had shared his fear. His fear became hers. His desperation was hers. She had felt his pain as he scrambled to pull the wood off of Carla as they tried to save her. But more importantly, she had felt his rage.
She felt his determination to succeed in his training, to become a Scout. She had felt how vigorously he had worked for his goal, how nothing could stop him. And she knew that nothing could stop him. Nothing could quench that fire that burned inside of him. Sometimes, she feared that the same fire he relied on to push him forward would burn him to cinders in the end, leaving nothing but ash.
She had felt that rage when the Titans had broken through the walls once more. She had felt that fire again, burning through him and propelling him forward. She had felt his hatred. There had been such intense hatred that it had burned her too, searing through her mind and straight through her heart.
She had felt his pain when the Titans had attacked him. She knew something was wrong. She had felt it. She hadn't know it then, but Eren was being eaten by a Titan. Her entire body had hurt and exploded with pain. First, it had been her leg, than her arm. Then everything hurt.
Her heart had hurt.
He was gone.
Like her parents. Like Carla and Grisha. He was gone.
But then, she knew that she couldn't die. Something inside of her wouldn't let her. She wasn't allowed to die. Not yet. She still had a job to do. But she could not yet identify the job.
She was glad she had fought. She was glad she had preserved her life. For Eren. The bond had been formed, and it had connected her to Eren.
Now she had an answer to present to Levi.
She shook her head. "No," she replied. "I didn't know then." She looked up at him. "But I do now."
Levi nodded, a slight tilt in his head. Then, he rose from his seat, pushing his chair back.
"Why are you telling me this?" she asked.
Levi paused, looking back at her. "Because," he answered simply. "You deserve to know, and I don't want to leave you wondering about the bond without having a vague idea on what it is about."
"So even you do not know a lot about the bond," she said.
Levi shrugged, turning away with the clear intent on leaving. "I wasn't given much," he replied.
Mikasa frowned at the vague answer. It was on the tip of her tongue to ask him who his bonded was. But, she refrained from asking such a question. If Levi wanted to tell her, he would have in his explanation. Besides, she already had a vague idea on who his bonded was, just as she was sure he knew who her bonded was.
Mikasa unstrapped the saddle on the horse, pulling it and the blanket off. She was tired, sweaty, and thirsty, but none of her needs were expressed from her outward appearance. Instead, she stoically made her way to the tack room, holding the saddle and blanket effortlessly.
She had rode beside Eren this afternoon. This time, now that she was aware of it, she was sure that they were bonded. How else could she feel such emotion that was not her own? Even as she had gazed at Eren with such newfound adoration, he had rode on ahead, racing with Jean. She had felt his intense desire to beat Jean, to come up on top.
It was with that memory, and these new thoughts, that she was led to her tormented contemplation. Though her body was worn, her mind was sharp as she tended to her duties as a Scout.
She wondered if Eren was even aware of the bond. Did he know of this connection they shared together? Did he cherish it, value it, as much as she did?
But what if he despised it? What if he saw it as a bondage? What if the bond only worked on her end, but not on his because of his Titan abilities?
She stopped in the middle of the doorway of the tack room. Her heart felt heavy just thinking of those horrid ideas. But what if they were true? Should she explain the bond to Eren anyway? And if so, how would she go about explaining it to him?
What if he rejected her because of the bond?
She had lost so much. She couldn't bare the thought of losing him.
She sighed. Whatever happened, she would have to accept it. If Eren didn't want the bond, than she would go out of her way to make sure that he did not have to deal with it. She would take the brunt of the burden.
Because, when she was with Eren, she became aware of everything. The world seemed so much brighter, warmer...alive.
Eren made her feel alive, and she wanted to make him feel the same.
Even if Eren despised the bond, she would cherish it, because it brought her closer to him. Maybe it didn't bring him closer to her, but that was okay. She was fine with what she was given. The bond had shown her so much, and had opened her eyes to new things.
Because of the bond, because of Eren, the world got a bit more bearable.
This time, the world just got a whole lot more beautiful.
She heard footsteps, and without even looking, she knew who it was. She turned around as best as she could manage with the saddle. She stared up at the green eyes she knew so well.
"Hey," Eren said.
She blinked. "Hey." She handled the saddle easily, adjusting her grip on it. "What brings you here?"
He shrugged, holding up a canister. "I brought you some water. You could use it."
She stared at the offered drink, speechless. Setting the saddle down, she reached for the canister. "Thank you," she said. She tilted her head, staring at him thoughtfully. "How did you know?"
Eren shrugged. "I could tell you were thirsty."
Mikasa opened her mouth to say something, but all she got out was, "Oh." With nothing else to say, she tilted her head back and drank the water.
"I could also tell that you were thinking about something that troubled you," Eren continued. "Don't do that. Or rather, don't think about whatever's bothering you too much. It's weighing you down."
She gaped, startled that he was even aware of her troubles. "You...you knew that my thoughts were...heavy?" She inwardly winced at the word. 'Heavy' did not even begin to describe her thoughts.
Eren scratched the back of his head, suddenly uncomfortable. But Mikasa could not contain the joy she felt welling up inside of her. Did this mean that...he felt her emotions because of the bond? What else could it have been?
"Just don't dwell on what's troubling you, okay?" he said quickly.
She lowered her head with a small smile. "Alright," she answered.
Eren nodded awkwardly. "Yeah, so, anyway...that's all I have to say." He backed out of the door hastily, turning to leave.
Her heart gave a lurch, and it was as if time had slowed down. Before she could even give much thought into what she was doing, she rushed forward. "Eren!" she called out, starting forward. "Do you know?" She held out her hand, the one with the scar. "Do you...do you know?"
Anticipation nearly swallowed her. There was no going back, no taking the words she had so impulsively said back. Now, she waited for his response.
Eren's eyes flickered over to her hand, than to her face, than back to her hand. Her heart dropped just a little as the silence stretched on.
Maybe he didn't know.
But, Eren smiled. Slowly holding up his hand, he displayed a long, red gash on his hand. "The commander told me," he answered. "But...I think I've always known."
Mikasa's smile could not have been wider, just as their emotions and thoughts collided with each other.
There was her answer. The bond was intact.
