A/N: See? I came back relatively quick, as promised. Anyway, I do not own The Legend of Zelda or any of its characters.

Twilight Princess Link's Perspective.

Chapter Seventeen

Hyrule's Beautiful Hammer

Link wanted to attend the meetings evil villains went to. All of them seemed to have the same maniacal, disturbing laughter, and if he could just convince one of them to teach him, he could blend in perfectly. Who could he bribe to accomplish this?

Besides, it would terrify all of his enemies to see the Hero displaying the characteristics of the villains. He already had the body of a beast; why couldn't he acquire the laugh, too? And how much more creepy would the sound become in that bestial form?

Wait…I could just ask Midna to teach me, Link thought to himself, now standing beside the Hero of Time, their backs to the door. Their entryway had been barred the moment they entered, door slamming shut and confining them to a fairly large but plain room with a square platform in the center. A ring of fire blazed atop it, and from it a strange orange figure had emerged, spinning and rising from the inferno while producing evil laughter Link wanted to mimic.

The creature they now faced somersaulted from the platform, landing off to the Heroes' right and causing both to draw their weapons. At first glance, the foe resembled a scarecrow, but that impression died instantly. He was significantly taller and made of pure heat, with arms and legs that tapered into points capped by blades. Striped fire pants seemed to flare out around his peg-like legs. His solid black head had red markings painted onto it, and a pair of evil green eyes glowed menacingly from the inferno that comprised what would normally have been hair.

"What in the name of the Great Deku Tree?" the Hero of Time demanded.

"Flare Dancer," Navi explained. "Extinguish its flaming clothes first…"

"Blow it up!" Link declared, throwing a bomb at it since he knew it would never teach him that awesome laugh. Besides, one of the Gorons had warned him not too long ago that arrows were meaningless to dancing monsters; detonations were required to immobilize the beast.

The creature did an exceedingly long pirouette before quickly gliding away, its blade feet scraping across the floor as blue flames erupted all around it. The little fireballs then began to chase the Heroes as their creator circled the room.

Fortunately, the Flare Dancer didn't seem too concerned with where he traveled, and ended up skating straight into the blast radius of Link's bomb. Shrapnel slammed into the monster, causing it to give a strange cry as its fiery body sputtered out and its head dropped to the ground.

Much to the surprise of both Links, the little gremlin suddenly sprouted legs, and the Hero of Twilight was forced to rethink his entire assumption of the creature. That big blocky structure wasn't a head; it was the tiny monster's body. It simply had no arms…just legs. And its actual head was so small that its eyes were bigger.

Navi turned yellow as she zipped over to the little creature, chasing after it as her Hero pursued it without question, but his expression showed that he was just as confused as Link. The Hero of Twilight chose to dash in the opposite direction from his companion, skidding to a halt in front of it. The creature yelped and whirled around, only to be greeted by the sharpened blade of the Master Sword wielded by the Hero of Time. It was then assaulted from behind by the Hero of Twilight.

The Flare Dancer quickly ducked out of their grasp, flinging himself back into the fire circle nearby. He laughed as he spiraled back to a more significant body, apparently thinking that he would now have a distinct advantage over the Heroes. Didn't he realize he had already been harmed by them before? Silly monster.

However, perhaps he did have a better chance to defeat them; he had changed his appearance. Well, his color at least. He now burned a beautiful periwinkle, still doing his crazy pirouettes.

The Hero of Time tossed a bomb remorselessly at the monster's head, blowing it up before it could even continue its strange circling. The little gremlin body dropped back to the ground, pursued by the two Heroes as they tried to quickly end its life. A single Jump Attack by Link caused it to spring back into the fire, the coward.

Once more, the Flare Dancer whirled into existence, green flames comprising its outfit.

"That's my color, you fiend!" Link snarled, drawing out his Clawshot and firing it at the creature. The metal quickly compressed, the creature's tiny head now trapped in the steel clutches of Link's tool as he pulled it toward him. "There can only be one!"

Unfortunately, the Hero of Time had already arrived at Link's side, impaling the monster with his sword before the Hero of Twilight could draw his weapon again. The beast began to swell to several times its original size, body flashing dangerously.

Both Links understood exactly what was happening, quickly darting away as it detonated in the air. The fire ring that had generated its clothing also sputtered out, and the bars over the door lifted. The pair were free to do whatever they wanted now.

"I caught him, and I didn't even get to deal the final blow…" Link grumbled to his friend, but he meant it in the most playful way.

"Poor, poor Link," the Hero of Time teased, sauntering over to the dais.

Link beat him to the stage, leaping onto its edge. As with everything else, it was carved with a relief of those creepy stone faces, but that didn't bother him as much as the fact that this thing was already moving. He was almost brought to the ground with the sudden motion, a timid yelp coming from his friend as the stone lifted magically from the floor.

"Wait, wait! I was kidding! I'm sorry!" the Hero of Time called from below, watching Link's block disappear into the ceiling. "Wait for me!"

It wasn't exactly like Link could wait. He was carried without his consent to the top of the room, stone square sliding perfectly through an enormous hole and delivering him unharmed to a new location. He stepped off, allowing the stage to plummet back to the ground below. He then slowly approached the door, but faithfully waited for his companion to join him.

The red hat of the Hero of Time was the first thing Link saw of his friend, offering his hand to his companion as the Hylian Hero ascended. However, since the elevator was moving so quickly, the gesture wasn't necessary.

"You actually waited?" Navi asked as Link allowed his hand to fall back to his side. "I thought you would just leap at any chance to venture off on your own."

"He asked me to wait for him," Link replied simply, turning to face the door and opening it for the pair of them. He trudged into the new room, the change in color somewhat aggravating his eyes. He had grown quite accustomed to the faded tones of red and orange, so seeing the dulled hue of green was difficult to handle immediately.

A wall of bricks was all that lay to his left, but his right had a path that branched out of sight, and a clear diamond switch was within arm's reach. Link stabbed the jewel with his sword, joined by the Hero of Time in a race to see what was around the corner that required the switch. They spotted a chain-link fence, with nothing else in sight. Without wasting any time, both leapt onto it and began to ascend.

As usual, the Hero of Time was faster, leaving Link in the dust. He quickly reached the top, running forward as fast as possible for the second climbable wall. Much to his displeasure, the timer on their diamond switch ran out, the yellow interior turning back to dull silver.

"Agh!" the Hero of Time complained, just as Link finished pulling himself to his feet. He whirled around, facing the Hero of Twilight. A ring of fire blazed at his back, encircling the path and preventing him from continuing onward. "Can you go down there and hit the switch for me?"

"And let you abandon me again?" Link inquired, brushing himself off.

"I won't leave until you're up there with me!" the Hero of Time assured.

"Fine…" Link grumbled, disappointed with the fact that he'd had to climb up only to immediately jump back down again. It dawned on him that he could simply drop a bomb and just blow it up, but a shadow flickered near the switch, and the translucent form of Midna waited for him to join her. She wanted to talk to him in private.

Link dropped down to the floor below, his impish companion floating over and whispering in his ear.

"Hey…did you forget about your Clawshot?" she asked. "Why don't you just use it after you flick the switch, and then pull yourself up from your place right here to climb the metal?"

Link stared blankly at her before he frowned. "I guess it just never dawned on me since Link never uses his one to climb it either," he whispered.

"Use your head, you dummy," Midna hissed, falling into his shadow as he prodded the switch with his sword once again.

Probably the nicest thing she's said to me all day, Link thought sarcastically, drawing his Clawshot from his belt and aiming for the chain-link fence his friend was beginning to climb. Though, she's right. I should have thought of this a little while ago, but I suppose it doesn't matter now.

Link's dissatisfaction was quelled by his smugness as he landed on a part of the wall above the Hero of Time, who squeaked in surprise. As quickly as his body would allow him to move, Link scurried up the wall and darted to the side, landing on the next part of the room.

"What did you just do?" his friend called as he chased him into the next room.

"Used my nifty Clawshot. I told you it was better than your Hookshot," Link teased. However, he quelled his playfulness as he sized up the new room, which didn't look like it was going to be fun. To his right, an enormous wall rose up proudly, while his left was constructed with gigantic stairs several yards long. A smaller staircase was built onto the side of the enormous one, but the path was significantly thinner. An army of Fire Keese flew purposelessly through the air, gliding over a bottomless pit big enough to comfortably fit several Kokiri houses inside.

Link groaned before trudging over to a mysterious stone face in the floor. It resembled a switch, but he didn't understand why it would look different than all the others. Was it a death trap? He looked up at the tall wall that comprised the first step, spotting a more proper switch atop the platform. He stared between the two. What could this one possibly do?

The Hero of Time, apparently not possessing the proper weapons to mess with the relief face, boldly charged toward the wall instead. He sprang into the air, hefting himself onto the platform without hesitation.

Disregarding the hole, Link pursued his friend, also effortlessly ascending the stage. The pair looked between the two paths, then spied the inferno the steps led to. Four braziers blazed with orange and yellow flames, a Fire Keese flying around a circle of heat within the square created by the pillars.

"A chest?" Link guessed.

"Race you for it!" the Hero of Time proclaimed, stomping on the switch and not even bothering to watch the ring of fire sputter out. Deciding to be a daredevil, he raced along the smaller path.

But Link was a daredevil too, springing after his friend and doing his best to stay away from the enormous and seemingly bottomless pit. The path thinned significantly, forcing the Hero of Time to slow down or accidentally stumble off. To their left, a large boulder separated the path from the enormous stairs, preventing him from simply taking the wider course. It was a gap Link hadn't noticed from the ground, but didn't necessarily care about.

He proceeded onward regardless, not fazed by the skinnier route. He was used to sprinting across tiny walkways, especially as a wolf. The only thing that bothered him was his companion in his way.

"Move, Link!" Link declared, leaping a portion of the angled stairs and ending up in front of his friend as a Fire Keese noticed the pair and charged them. He ducked beneath it, his companion hesitating behind him and poking the nuisance with the Master Sword. Though it had only been a minor delay, it was enough to allow the Hero of Twilight to win the race, and access the large treasure chest waiting promisingly for him.

He skittered over the bricks, entering the magnificent square and quickly tossing open the lid. Gold light tried to blind him, but he was too excited for whatever lay within it, reaching in and fetching the contents.

Oof, it's heavy…Link thought to himself as he lifted it and held it in front of him.

The Hero of Time furiously dispatched another Keese, only to look up as he heard the odd noise of delight Link made involuntarily. He stared at what his friend held, only to blink several times in surprise as he spotted the strange object rotating in the Hero of Twilight's possession. A long shaft was bound in leather at the handle, widening before instantly tapering at the opposing end. A large, three inch thick disk studded with rivets opposed an equally thick but smaller triangle that seemed somewhat flat.

"OH MY HYRULIAN GODDESSES IS THAT A HAMMER?!" the Hero of Time demanded, now speeding up to get a better look.

"It is!" Link replied immediately. "I found the Megaton Hammer!"

"I want it!"

"It can smash and break junk! But…" As Link held it, it dragged his hands to the ground, causing him to grunt. "It's so heavy, I'll need to use two hands to swing it!"

"THAT HAMMER IS MINE, YOU LITTLE SCOUNDREL!" the Hero of Time thundered.

Link laughed. "Come and get it!" he declared, darting off the edge of the raised platform and landing at the door he had originally entered the room through. He stared at the face relief on the floor, spinning the Hammer in his hands and slamming its steel iron surface into the switch. A shockwave of energy rippled from his weapon, causing the relief to tremble and sink into the ground. "I am in love!" he announced.

"GIVE IT!"

Link glanced back at his companion, using the Hero of Time's strategy and leaping before he dared to look. There was no way he was just going to give up this magnificent new tool. He spotted a column in the top left corner of the room, the statue seemingly mocking him as he realized that there was no exit to this little box; all of the walls were made of brick, and there was no way out other than up.

Unless…Link thought, his mind working as fast as possible so he could keep his toy. He darted over to the pillar, using both hands to smash the Hammer's iron surface into the base of the column. The bottom was launched free, shrinking for no apparent reason and disappearing into white powder. Link slung his arms, and consequently his weapon, back to a more manageable position.

"Yaaaaa!" he heard behind him as the Hero of Time dropped into the room with him.

Link quickly batted the head of the pillar out of his way and pocketed the Hammer, sprinting towards the door, flinging it open, and slamming it shut in his companion's face. Unfortunately, it seemed his fun was about to end here. A horde of Fire Keese zipped through the air, no doubt having ignited themselves from the torch at the far end of the room, near the wall. The path branched off to the right, so Link quickly scurried that direction and disregarded the monsters so he could keep his new item for even a moment longer.

Another column to be destroyed by his Hammer was below him, an entire section of the floor placed lower than the rest. He quickly whipped out his toy, Fire Keese now diving to attack him as he slammed the Hammer into the face of the column.

"LIIIINK!" the Hero of Time roared. He thundered towards the Hero of Twilight, who had leapt off the high platform and onto the lower one. The ground began to tremble, enormous stairs dropping lower into the floor and inviting Link to continue fleeing.

"Go get your own Hammer!" Link shouted as he raced away.

"That is my Hammer, you big meanie!" The Hero of Time was right on his tail, no more than four feet away.

Oh no! Link thought as he spotted one of those evil switches that required someone to weigh them down to remain activated. Mind working furiously, he darted to the side and slightly sprung over it, chased by his friend. The Hero of Time's foot came down on the switch the second Link reached the barred door that it would unlock, sending the barricade into the ceiling.

"Thank you!" Link called as he threw it open, the door immediately closing behind him before his companion could join him. Now in the new room, he found himself greeted by a brick wall to his left and directly in front of him, but to his right he spotted another switch that required the Hammer.

"Just give him the Hammer and use your Iron Boots," Midna commented in a bored tone as Link stood on and smashed the switch into the floor. "You're going to need to reunite with him eventually. Besides, this is from his time; the Hammer belongs to him."

"Shush, Midna," Link replied as the switch trembled below him, plunging him downward. He was somewhat surprised as it dropped him significantly farther than he had predicted, but the fall didn't harm him so he wasn't too concerned. He spotted a barred door directly in front of him, causing him to leap onto the platform he had dropped past.

His mind managed to process—from two glances that he stole as he ascended—that he was once again in the room with the army of posts that sparked with walls of flame like an invisible labyrinth. He scurried to his feet, looking to the switch on his right and slamming his Hammer into its rusted surface.

The bars of the door rose up, allowing him access to the next part of the dungeon. The Hero of Time still had yet to catch up, which was quite pleasant. However, the fun and games ended there, because the second Link entered the next room, he found that he needed the assistance of the other Hero.

He was back in the room where he and the Hero of Time had temporarily bypassed the little Goron immediately before stumbling across the second fire labyrinth. The rock-man was still trembling behind the wall of bars, but the wideness of the corridor prevented Link from simply leaping across to the other side. He wanted to examine the suspicious blue cube embossed with the design of the Temple of Time, its enormous surface jutting awkwardly from the ground. No doubt it was hiding the switch to free the Goron.

"Midna," Link called.

"I can't warp that, Link," his companion replied, separating herself from his shadow and hovering before him. "Especially not such a short distance. It would be a mockery of my Twilit power, and a waste of energy."

"Then can you throw it?"

"Throw it yourself."

Link, deciding that he did not want to do that, quickly whipped out his Ocarina, racking his brain to recall the melody the Hero of Time had played to move the stone once before. He played some notes, but he couldn't finish the tune. He just didn't remember.

"Let him have the Hammer," Midna insisted. "You have the Iron Boots, and the Ball and Chain. Give him what is his, Link."

Link snorted at her, then turned back to the door. "Fine." He didn't need to exit, however, because just then, the Hero of Time opened it and walked in.

"Give me…the Hammer…" the Hylian Hero commanded, looking tired from all the running. Even so, there was a determined fire blazing in his eyes. Link had seen the same look many times over from the village children, when they wanted something so badly they were willing to do anything to get it. Now that he thought about it, wasn't the Hero of Time a kid in an adult's body?

Link stared at his friend, tightly gripping the handle with a cheeky look of suspicion on his face. "Now why would I do that? I acquired it honestly."

The Hero of Time launched forward, fingers locking around the handle and bringing him within inches of Link's face. "I killed the monsters! This is mine!"

"You wouldn't let me kill the monsters!" Link retorted, pulling on the shaft and almost tugging the pair off the roof. "We earned this together!"

"You have those nifty boots to trigger switches! Give me the Hammer!"

"So? Boots and Hammers aren't even close to the same thing!"

The Hero of Time grunted as he jerked himself back, dragging the pair back toward the door. "You have that big sphere, too! With the spikes! On a chain! Give me!"

Link glanced up, spotting Navi circling the pair. She seemed to be impartial to their squabble, knowing that Link had certainly fairly acquired the tool, but wanting to side with her master who had vanquished the beasts guarding it. She wisely chose to stay out of the matter altogether. Apparently, getting flattened by the Hammer wasn't on her agenda.

A single red eye glowered at Link from behind the Hero of Time, the shadowy form of Midna staring unamused at her Hero. She indicated a decapitation movement, then soundlessly smashed her tiny fist into her palm. She tapped her foot in the air impatiently, then mimed yawning. If Navi hadn't been so focused on the blue cube a short distance away, the imp's cover would have been blown, but she didn't seem to care.

Link frowned back at her, before glaring at the Hero of Time and ceasing to pull. However, he wasn't mean enough to just release the shaft and let the Hylian Hero smack himself in the face with the Megaton Hammer. Not this time, at least.

"Fine, you can have your Hammer…" he commented irritably, slowly releasing the iron and allowing his companion to claim it. His friend triumphantly lifted it above his head, dancing in a circle.

"I GOT MY HAMMER!" he cheered. "HAHA! Best. Item. Ever."

"I'm taking six objects from your grave now," Link said, pointing at the Hero of Time.

"Is the Hammer one of them?"

"Yes."

"Then no. I'm taking this with me through death itself! It's my treasure, forever!"

"You'll be dead! You won't even need it!"

"Are you kidding?" the Hero of Time looked horrified. "I'll be building stuff and breaking stuff, even when I'm dead! And if your ghost seeks out mine to get this from me, then I'll smash you with it."

"You can't kill a ghost," Link argued.

"Boys," Navi said. "We have a Goron to free."

"I let you catch up to me," Link snorted tauntingly at his companion, who looked over at the other side.

"More like you got stuck," the Hero of Time commented, pulling out the Ocarina and playing a strange melody. Instantly, the cube was engulfed in a ring of pure blue light, vanishing from directly ahead of them and appearing instead on the ground, bridging the gap.

Link leapt onto the cube first, strutting across it before springing to the other side of the room. He hefted himself to his feet and marched over to the switch that now waited where the cube once lay. He stepped onto it, equipping his Iron Boots and allowing it to settle into the ground.

Immediately, the wall of bars slid aside, permitting the Goron access to the outside world. The Hero of Time dropped down to speak with him, accompanied seconds later by Link.

"Are you releasing me? Am I free to go?" the Goron asked as he regarded the two Heroes. "I'll tell you a secret for saving me! A door is hidden inside the statue at the entrance to this temple. But…the Goron 'special crop' won't work on it… Don't you have anything stronger?"

Link stared daggers at his friend. "Indeed he does."

The Goron, delighted with this information, departed without another word and left the two Links alone in the dungeon. The Hero of Time regarded the Hero of Twilight, gesturing to the small wooden chest.

"Want the key?"

Link still stared resentfully, but the look wasn't serious. It was just a Hammer, after all, but the fact that it released shockwaves made it that much harder to give up. It was two of his weapons put together in a cooler form, with more capabilities.

Oh well. I can walk on the ceiling, Link thought as he trudged over to the chest and kicked it open as usual, retrieving another shiny key. And smash stuff a significant distance from myself. Mine are more beneficial.

"I might let you borrow it every now and again," the Hero of Time suggested.

"No," Link said immediately, surprising his friend and the fairy. "I have better weapons anyway. I'll prove to you that mine are superior."

"Better than a Hammer?" the Hero of Time inquired as he followed Link back out the way they had come. "No such thing."

"There is so," Link insisted, now running with a bit more of a spring in his step. At least he didn't have to lug around one more impossibly heavy object. In front of him, an enormous pillar was locked in place, pinned perfectly by the roof of a gazebo. The Hero of Time leapt onto it, excitedly swinging the Hammer as Link also stepped onto it and equipped his Iron Boots.

The column shuddered, rattling both Links' metal items as the floor suddenly plummeted.

"HWAAAAAA-AAAA-AAAAHH!" the Hero of Time screamed, his cry echoed in a slightly different way by the Hero of Twilight as Link quickly tried to take his Boots off midair.

They both miraculously landed unharmed on the pillar, the platform now rising from the lava and providing a perfect stage to allow them access to the room Darunia had disappeared into. Link distinctly recalled the words of the Goron he had met at the start of this dungeon, the rock-man informing him that he needed to find a way to get the pillar into this very room. It looks like the duo had succeeded in doing just that.

"Good job, Link," Link commented, now completely unfazed by the previous events as he casually patted his companion on the back. "I don't suppose you have the key…?"

The Hero of Time looked to the chained door before he shook his head. "No…but I bet it's accessible by that mysteriously hidden door behind that statue at the entrance."

"I presume you are correct," Link agreed, turning away. "Shall we go fetch it, then?"

"Indeed!" The Hero of Time turned back to the less elaborate door, sprinting off the column and racing away, joined by Link.

Soon enough, they would fetch that key. And then, with the legendary Hammer in their possession—and if all the Gorons were finally freed—they could rush to Darunia's aid. The dragon that Link the Goron had spoken of would be defeated, never able to wreak any more havoc on the beautiful land of Hyrule.

Link just hoped they wouldn't be too late.

. . . . .

A/N: The Megaton Hammer actually isn't my favorite weapon, but from my observation of little boys, they love hammers. And from all the playful men I've interacted with, they still have a somewhat childish mentality—but more controlled—so I guess these two bored adventurers would be the same. So they're both really immature for hammers. (Honestly, my personal favorite weapon in OoT is probably the Longshot, while in TP it's the Spinner. What about you guys/gals?)