A tall, extremely buffed dark-skinned guy caught up with them in the corridor and led Shepard away. He seemed familiar with Shepard, though Joker had never seen him before. Joker could hear him send a message to the technicians to finish the paint job on the new ship by adding the name, Normandy, at Shepard's request. Things seemed to be settled. He was the new Shepard's pilot at the helm of the new Normandy.

Away from her presence, he finally gave in to the chaos in his head. The world started spinning so hard that he had to lean his forehead and both hands against the window. He was suffocating. Would he wake up from this dream any time now? He gasped for air, gulped it in like a man possessed, as everything disappeared around him.

Shepard was alive. Truly alive.

He doubled over, suddenly nauseous, though nothing would come out of his stomach. Her presence was as mind blowing now as he remembered it from two years ago. He didn't know how he could deal with it now though, after everything that happened.

Logically, he knew that he was being a jerk. It wasn't Shepard's fault that she was alive now. Cerberus got her body and performed their experiments without her knowledge or consent. Joker was sure that had she been aware and given a choice, she'd stay dead. Logically, he couldn't blame her for standing in front of him today like nothing had happened. How else was she supposed to appear? With horns and hooves? With tentacles? Creeping along the wall like Nosferatu? She did have red glowing eyes and deep, orange scars, now that he thought about it. He was acting irrationally and he knew it. The only thing about irrational was that he couldn't help it.

Some Cerberus woman stopped to ask if he was all right and Joker decided to move his nervous breakdown to his room. He needed to pack anyway. He had a new assignment. Once inside, he dropped his tortured body onto the bed and rubbed his hands down his face. A tear escaped the corner of his eye. For two years he'd been dreaming every night about saving her. For two years he'd been on a self-destruct course because he couldn't forget her. His pain was not her fault, of course. She didn't do anything wrong. And yet… He could deny it all he wanted, but he felt suffocated, betrayed, cheated, used, and plain sick. How was he supposed to do his job again?

Eight hours later he was messaged to report to his station on the ship. The paint job was done and he still didn't know how to deal with the hurricane inside him. Angry at the whole world, he stuffed his duffel bag and headed for the hangar. He imagined not joining Shepard, leaving Cerberus and her behind, and mentally slugged himself. No matter how angry he was, there was no world in which he would walk away from a chance to work with Shepard again.

He got a chance to channel his anger at Cerberus, when he finally got into his new seat and realised there was an honest to god illegal artificial intelligence installed on his beauty's computers. Oh, there was no hell hot enough for Cerberus people.


The doors closed behind her, the engines roared smoothly and the little vertigo upon undocking was familiar. Like home. Well, almost. Jo walked in and looked around. Joker rotated experimentally in his new seat. The CIC was full of working people she didn't know and all kinds of new stuff. Jo felt a tinge of nostalgia. This Normandy was a copy of the original one, but all she could see for a moment were the differences. Many, many differences. It would take some time to get used to it.

Jacob politely welcomed her. Miranda, looking as smug and self-centred as always, paraded after him:

"I've been looking over the dossiers. I'd strongly recommend starting by acquiring Doctor Mordin Solus, the salarian professor on Omega. We know the Collectors use some type of advanced technology to immobilize their victims. We need him to develop a countermeasure to protect us."

Jo gnashed her teeth. Patience, she said to herself. Don't make a scene.

"You still don't get it, do you?" she said, turning around to face the two. "You're not in charge here. I am."

Suddenly a voice sounded, from everywhere at once, startling Jo a little bit, and it was not the old, familiar VI's voice:

"Operative Lawson makes a valid point, Shepard. Without the professor, any encounter with the Collectors would result in failure."

"Who the hell are you?"

"I'm the ship's artificial intelligence. The crew like to refer to me as EDI." A blue spherical shape appeared along with the voice this time.

Jo's heart fell. Oh, this was such bad news on so many levels that she should simply abandon the ship right now before they went any further.

"Shut that thing down," she barked and she could almost feel her eyes glow a brighter red. She'd discovered her new looks just two hours ago, when Cerberus left her alone in some room to rest. Rest, right. Like that was possible. "I don't want it on my ship!"

"Have I offended?" the synthetic voice asked. Miranda obviously had to put her opinion forward everywhere:

"Shepard spent a great deal of time fighting rogue AI. Geth, mostly. Plus that incident with the Alliance Hannibal system on Luna."

"Your distrust is logical, Shepard. Unlike the irrational mistrust of…"

"Shut up," she interrupted the AI. If people and things kept on talking in this manner, she couldn't guarantee to keep a grip on the hell in her head. And if she snapped, brains would decorate the walls. "Anyone else I should meet?"

"The Normandy has a full crew. They're at their stations awaiting your orders."

Joker's voice in the speakers caught her in the middle of a rage fit and distracted her into a much calmer place:

"Final preparations for takeoff are complete, Commander. When you're ready to go, just pick a destination from the galaxy map and I'll plot the course."

At least someone on the ship was polite, helpful and efficient.

"Jacob and I should return to our posts. Come and find us if you have any questions."

Jacob actually saluted, but Miranda almost walked away without permission, just swaying her ass.

"You two, stop right there. I'm not done with you yet. First of all, this EDI thing. Listening?"

"Yes, Shepard," the synthetic voice said passively.

"You are never to address me by my name, you haven't earned that right. It's Commander or Captain to you, understood?"

"Yes, Commander."

"Secondly, you are never to speak to me if I haven't specifically requested your services. Understood?"

"Yes, Commander."

"Now you two." Jo could see other operatives in the CIC stop and listen in on them. On her little outbreak, rather. "Operative Lawson, I want you to change clothes into something more decent. There will be no cheap strippers walking around on my ship. Understood?"

Miranda's jaw dropped.

"Look, missy, it's either that or I'll buy you a potato sack on my next leave and make you wear it."

"Shepard, I am free to choose the way I dress, like everyone else."

"Not on my ship you aren't."

Miranda visibly gnashed her own teeth and said nothing.

"Further, I have no idea who you think you are, but I need you to remember that I'm the one in charge here. You will not be giving me any strong suggestions or any other kinds of suggestions. Understood?"

"As your second in command, it's my job to…"

Jo laughed out so loud that everyone jumped.

"Second in command?" she spit out through laughter, pointing one finger at the skank, holding her belly with the other. That was the first really funny thing she heard since waking up. "Not in your wildest dreams! I'd rather appoint a Reaper my second in command than you, skank."

"Yes, Commander," Miranda looked like she had her own fit of inner fury to fight down. Good. It was payback time. Even if only the verbal kind.

"Furthermore, you will never take the liberty to apologize on my behalf to anyone. Least of all to an artificial intelligence."

"Yes, Commander."

"Very well. Dismissed."

Jo took a long tour all over the ship. She found her new cabin rather comfortable, even though a fish tank on a space ship was the oddest thing she could have imagined, not to mention a potential hazard. But if her second life's mission was to take down Cerberus and bring vengeance on the Asshole and his every little minion, she could at least do it in comfort. That he'd paid for.

She soon found another familiar face on the ship: Dr Chakwas, who, as it turned out, had joined the crew to serve with her and Joker again. Jo could live with that. In the elder woman's presence she found another little piece of herself that she needed so desperately to silence the screeches and ease the pain. After that conversation she felt like she could deal with the pain a little longer without snapping.

The two techies in the engine room also seemed eager to be here, Cerberus or not. The general mood was clear: not everyone in the world was happy with the way Alliance handled things. Those who wanted to see things done, and done properly, joined Cerberus by the hundreds, no matter the rumours. Everyone here was motivated to join her, specifically her, because of her reputation as the kind of person to get something done. Jo looked at these people, a little relieved that she could see actual people and not insects or microbes. They seemed so normal, so caught up in life, busy, hopeful, eager…

After talking to Daniels and Donnelly Jo felt lonelier than before. She was not a part of this world anymore. She tried to remember how it had felt to command a ship, to work with people. Sadly, all she could feel right now was desolation, agony and despair.

Then she stopped at the CIC and met her yeoman. The redhead piqued her interest. A psychology degree? Jo stood there, looking at the girl and couldn't believe what she was hearing. This airhead was the Asshole's version of psychological support on the ship? If that wasn't an insult, it could only be his stupidity. Jo looked at the bimbo and gave her a smile that would have frozen the blood in any intelligent being's veins. Kelly didn't notice. She, like Miranda, would make a fine object for torture in times when Jo would need to release her stress. It was almost too easy. Jo asked Kelly how she felt about Cerberus and heard the most bizarre answer in her two lives:

"We look out for human interests. Advance human technologies. Save human lives. They're noble goals." And then the redhead said the one thing that sealed her fate. "I love asari, quarians, turians, salarians, hanar…"

Skank. Another skank, that is. Jo swore to herself that she'd start tossing bodies out of the airlock if she found a third skank on the ship. She missed Pressly. A nice old guy who looked at her with fatherly respect and couldn't care less about her looks, reputation, personal history or tomfoolery. An old man who just did his job.

She noted to herself that once she had a better grip on her own demons, she would have to do some serious cleaning among these people. Finally, Jo went to see Joker and found him in love. With the ship. Figures.


Joker's battle against the Thing began the moment he sat down in his chair. It gave him suggestions on how to improve his efficiency. No one, NO ONE ever dared to do that. When Shepard finished yelling at the Cerberus guys, Joker couldn't help a grin. He'd told her once that she was always honest. Today her honesty was spot-on, untarnished by even a hint of politeness. Skank. Calling Miranda Lawson a skank to her face was brutal, but Joker would be a fat liar if he said he hadn't wished to say the same a few times since he'd met the ice queen. He also loved how Shepard had dealt with the Thing. It could be intelligent, but it had no right to be so familiar with them all. He realised he was smiling, when Shepard went on her first round to meet the people. He'd been so furious with her and with the situation earlier, but two minutes under her command brought back all the reasons why he loved working here so much. He still had no orders from her, so he simply set course for the relay. In the meantime he wanted to hack the security system and take a look at Shepard as she walked around, but the Thing blocked him. It locked him out of the system and resisted all his attempts to bypass it. He was ready to spit fire when Shepard reappeared in the cockpit.


Jo found Joker a little conflicted. He was in love with the ship. He did not appreciate the Ship Cancer.

"This is not our Normandy, there is nothing here that was even a part of her," she noted.

"There is us, you know," he sounded less enthusiastic now. Just like her, he was thinking of the old Normandy.

"Don't get too attached," Jo said, taking a seat in the chair next him. "Every millimetre of this ship, people included, is placed to spy on us and manipulate us."

"You're right. It's hard to argue when they install an AI to control the systems."

He understood. Good. If they really had to abandon the ship, he would understand. Hate it, fight it, but understand. She opened her data pad to look at the dossiers the Asshole gave her. Frankly, she couldn't even see them. Her vision was blurry from pain, and the screams in her head blocked all other noises around her, but sitting close to Joker gave her a little more strength to deal with it. At least she felt like reading and not like dismembering corpses.

Still, they couldn't fly aimlessly forever. They needed a plan to eradicate Cerberus and she knew it wouldn't be easy. Until she found out his location, she needed a goal, and even though it didn't matter at all to Jo right now, she supposed that she couldn't disappoint Chakwas or Joker. They'd joined her for a mission. What was it again? Save disappearing colonies? Riiiiight. She couldn't care less, but she was in charge here and she'd just made sure nobody questioned her authority. She needed to give orders. Saving human colonies sounded like something the old Jo would do. She could hold on to that until she had control over the pain and agony in her mind.

She forced herself to read. The dossiers looked like a bizarre collection of the galaxy's rejects. Rejects and geniuses were often the same, even though Jo was repulsed by the mere thought of these people simply because the Asshole recommended them. Still, she could see why starting on Omega made sense. Three of them were to be found there. Jo grinned at the thought of Kelly trying to psychoanalyse and give emotional support to the most famous and hardass mercenary in the galaxy. Doctor Mordin Solus had been in the STG, which piqued her interest, but he wasn't the problem. There was something about the other dossier that made her insides tickle. Good with omnitool and a great sniper? Instincts told her that this short text on Archangel hid some surprise. She simply knew it in her gut.

Very well. Her choice was made, for now. Omega first, then the Citadel. Jo turned off the data pad and reached to touch Joker's arm:

"I'm going to call a meeting in the debriefing room right now. Grab the best seat."

He flinched at her touch.

"Okay, Commander."

"Are you going to do that all the time now?" She asked him with a raised eyebrow. "Flinch?"

He ignored her question with defiant determination. O-kay. No touchy-feely moments with Joker anymore. Geez, like she didn't have enough to worry about. Jo pushed a couple of buttons and spoke towards the console. Her words echoed across the entire ship:

"This is Commander Shepard. I order an urgent meeting in the debriefing room in fifteen minutes. Every single member of the crew is required to be present. Put on hold whatever you're doing, or let… EDI keep your projects online for you. I repeat, every crew member is required in the debriefing room in fifteen minutes." She turned the console off and patted Joker on his shoulders despite another flinch: "See you in a bit."

She had a few minutes to herself before people would arrive. The agony was killing her, tearing at the walls, ripping her apart, but Jo needed to think. Think hard and quick. She had to find a way to deal with Cerberus. Her vengeance would be exacted justly, she swore that to herself, but a little bit of her old self stirred in her heart when she saw Tali, Joker and Chakwas. Her old self. Jo closed her eyes and leaned her fists on the table. First things first, she needed to control the hell in her head. Her old self was strong enough to do that. She needed all the strength she could get, and remembering who she used to be seemed to help. She needed her instincts to go with those newly acquired uncanny battle reflexes. She needed the self-righteousness she could always fall back to, the one thing that made her trust herself and her decisions. She needed to trust herself.

She thought of Joker and Chakwas, about how her heart skipped a beat at the sight of Joker's crooked shoulders, and about the tenderness she felt when she touched him. She didn't feel much more than that right now, but this would have to be enough for today.

Another deep breath. She needed a plan. She needed to find and torture the Asshole for everything he did to her and all his other victims, but that small part of her old self… it resisted. Don't go there, her heart said. Don't do this to yourself. You won't find your way to peace afterwards. No Asshole is worth it. You have something much, much better to look forward to.

One more deep breath. So, the woman she used to be wouldn't go straight for the Asshole, wouldn't gouge his eyes out, wouldn't eat his heart. Okay, so what then? Do something her old self would have done? That would be the best and only way to regain the needed strength to keep the agony at bay. Well. There was the mission to save the colonies. Jo couldn't make herself care about those weaklings right now, but she did care about her sanity. If saving them would give her back some of that, she'd take it.

She made her choice. Now she needed a plan. And the time she had to think was over. The room filled quickly. Miranda and Jacob were among the first to arrive and the bitch leisurely took a seat. The rest of the crew filled the room entirely. Most of them had to stand. There were twenty three of them, Jo included.

Jo didn't sit. She stood at the head of the table and watched them all with the sort of heavy glance people always told her made her look badass. She was putting on a bit of a show, holding back the real fury and pain she felt. No need to scare them all needlessly, she still needed someone to work on the ship.

"First of all, I want to thank all of you for being here. I've spoken to many of you today and you all told me the same story. Alliance wasn't doing anything about your problems, so you joined the company that got the job done. Most of you are aware of the methods Cerberus uses to reach their goal, and most of you are all right with it, as long as someone's doing something. Is that about right?" General mutter of agreement. Good. "I also realise that my reputation as a woman who can get the job done, and has done so repeatedly for a long time, was a reason for many of you to sign up for this ship. True?" More agreeing murmurs. "This is what I need to talk to all of you about. I have travelled a lot around the galaxy. I've seen how helpless Alliance is sometimes. I know, they've got sticks shoved up their asses most of the time and can't see past their noses the rest of it. But I've also seen research facilities on numerous planets where Cerberus was conducting outrageous experiments. All for the sake of humanity, Cerberus claims, but from what I've seen, there was little humanity left in those people. I will tell you specifics at some later point. Today I need to tell you that all of you may have signed up to work for Cerberus, but this is my ship now, and I am not working for Cerberus. Never have and never will."

"The Illusive Man gave you this ship and put you in charge of it," Miranda spoke up. Of course.

"Cerberus built this ship, they put an AI and countless devices all over the ship to spy on us, and doubtlessly most of you are required to send reports to Cerberus with all details on our missions. I'm well aware of that. Don't make the mistake of thinking that I'm too naïve to notice. Sure, I won't be able to hide this ship from the Illusive Asshole completely. But I'm not working for him. To put me in charge of something, he must have some power over me first. He does not. He can't put me in charge of anything. I've spent many years serving in the Alliance, then a few interesting months as a Spectre, but after I died all those ties were cut. I am my own boss now. Cerberus might have given me this ship as a present or I might have stolen it, it doesn't matter. This ship belongs to me now and this is not a democracy. If you stay and serve here, I'm your new goddess divine, mother, president and shepherd."

People stared at her strangely.

"Yes, that means that the members of my crew can't be on Cerberus payroll anymore. I will be checking each of you thoroughly and if I find any of you connected to Cerberus in any way from now on, financial or otherwise, I'll put a bullet in your brain. Do not worry. If anyone here doesn't feel comfortable with that, I shall let you leave the ship and rejoin Cerberus either on Omega or on the Citadel. That offer stands for everyone, except you," Jo suddenly turned to Miranda and pulled a pistol on her.

The bitch didn't flinch. She just stared back at her with challenge. The rest of the crew froze. Jacob put his hand on his gun, but didn't pull it.

"Why me?" Miranda said with a smug smile.

"One, because you're a fucking bitch and I don't like you. Two, you were handpicked by the Illusive Asshole. Three, you work for Cerberus out of conviction, unlike most others who simply had no other choice. Four, you seem to suffer a severe case of egomania. Five, you were never going to follow my orders. Six, you're here to undermine me and control me. Seven, you will not stop contacting your sugar daddy despite my order just now, nine: you will betray me without a blink when he orders you to, so the only option I have for you is your brain on the wall if you don't give me a fucking good reason to let you live within twenty seconds."

People were turning pale around her, but nobody moved.

"I rebuilt you. I saved your life."

"No. I died. I fucking DIED. Would you like to know how that felt? I didn't ask to be brought back. This is how much I care about your 'help'," Jo shook the pistol a little, then pulled the second pistol to point it at Miranda's chest: "And this is how grateful I am, you bloody necromancer."

"I won't let you shoot me like a pig without a fight."

"Oh, yes, your biotics, your super strength, your fast healing and the other stuff? Honey, if I want you dead, you will be dead. Your only option is to kill me before I kill you, but the question is: would you dare to kill me?"

"And would you actually dare to kill me?"

"I've killed hundreds of scumbags in my life. Your time is up and you gave me no reason not to do it." Jo squeezed the trigger.

"Commander!" Dr Chakwas cried out loudly.

"Is that really necessary?!" Joker echoed her, getting out of his seat. Jacob pulled his gun, still unsure who to point it at. Jo could see Miranda's powers coil inside the woman, ready to snap. But she never fired. She waited a little while, considering the bitch from all sides. Heavy silence pressed all around her.

"You think it isn't necessary?" she asked Joker without taking her eyes off Miranda.

"Don't misunderstand me, Commander, I don't trust her further than I can throw her, but murder her in cold blood? Come on."

"You've watched me kill countless people in cold blood. On many missions. For lesser reasons. You're still loyal."

"Be reasonable, Commander," Jacob stepped closer.

"The problem is that I am reasonable. Killing her is the most reasonable choice. Letting her live would be emotional, it would be taking chances."

"Please."

Jacob pleaded for her. Joker and the doctor pleaded for her. Miranda herself never said a word.

"Very well." Jo flourished the pistols back into the holsters. "Everyone listen closely. That includes you, EDI. From this moment on Miranda Lawson is stripped of all her ranks and power on this ship. All her authorisation codes are revoked. She will be escorted to her room, which she will not be allowed to leave without my permission. Her door will be guarded and in any attempt to escape she is to be shot to death. She is denied any access to the ship, software or hardware, she may not use the extranet, she may not contact anyone outside the ship. She will be brought food, but there will be no visitors. In short, Miranda Lawson is forbidden any kind of communication, electronic, verbal, written or otherwise. Her room is to be searched and stripped of all devices, even data pads with ebooks. I shall release Miranda Lawson when and if I see fit."

"So I'm a prisoner now?"

"Beats being shot like a pig, doesn't it? Besides, I'm not unreasonable. When you're locked in your room, you can wear whatever clothes the fuck you like." Jo turned to one of the officers with a rifle: "What's your name?"

"Jenkins."

"You fucking kidding me?"

"Excuse me?" the officer blinked. He obviously didn't know of Jenkins from the first Normandy who died on a mission for the beacon.

"Nevermind. You will escort Lawson to her room and guard her, don't let her send any last minute transmissions. I'll join you in a few minutes and take care of the rest. I will assign more soldiers to relieve you soon. Go."

Everyone watched Miranda walk out of the room, wiggling her ass more than ever, probably just to annoy her. Once the door was closed, Jo let her heavy glance wander through the crowd. Twenty people stood before her and felt incredibly uneasy.

"No matter what you may have heard of me, I'm not a nice person. If anyone annoys me, betrays me, or stands in my way, I'll shoot them. I always do. All communication between any other crew member and the Illusive Asshole is hereby strictly forbidden. I will deal with him myself, when and how I see fit. Understood?" Nods. "Those of you who were handpicked by him or are particularly enthusiastic about Cerberus should watch your backs carefully. Among others that includes you, Kelly."

"What about me, Commander?" Jacob asked. At least he had enough common sense to holster his weapon.

"You will be my XO until further notice, Mr Taylor. That does not give you the power to release Miranda, just so you know, under any circumstances. That only means that I'll be keeping a very special eye on you until you earn my trust. I don't trust any of you new crew members, and the fact that you work for Cerberus makes it a lot worse. But I'm not unreasonable. If you show yourself useful, I'll have no reason to kill you. But if you do gain my trust, I'll consider you family. I always do whatever is necessary and what is in my power to protect my ship and my crew. Are there any questions?"

At first there was silence. Then Kelly spoke up:

"Commander, may I inquire about your plans? Will we be following the Illusive Man's dossiers or do you plan something else entirely?"

"I have my plans, for sure. They're my own business. In the meantime we might as well save those pathetic colonies. So yes, we'll be recruiting people, and we're starting on Omega."

"Who will be your ground crew, Captain?" Jacob spoke up.

"You will be my only other ground crew member until we find more people."

"If I'm to accompany you on the missions, which officer will be left in command when we're gone?"

"Jeff Moreau."

"Excuse me, Commander?" Joker looked surprised. "You're leaving me in command?"

"Absolutely."

"But…"

"This is not a democracy, Joker." If he was giving her the cold shoulder now, she would treat him like any other crew member, despite all her feelings for him. As the crew slowly shuffled out of the room Jo wondered how much time they'll be spending in gossip and thinking from now on.