Some people wanted to hear the birth story of Kristina and I can do that after I wrap up this storyline.
After downing a bottle of wine between the three of them, Beca chose to go check on the kids. Kristina was sound asleep as was her brother. She looked in on Johanna and while it was dark in the room Beca could see her teenager sitting on her bed, hugging a pillow to her chest. She looked up at her mother and Beca quickly made her way over to the bed and climbed in next to her daughter.
"Can't sleep?"
"I tried, but I guess my brain had other ideas." Beca laid down on the bed and pulled her daughter against her like she did when she was much younger. "A lot of stuff happened today, your brain has been working overtime, but it definitely needs to rest." Beca ran her fingers through her daughter's hair and mindlessly hummed quietly.
"Did you tell mama?"
"I did and she should be home soon. She got the next returning flight to LA so her flight should get in soon." Johanna covered her face with her hands and let out a frustrated sigh.
"She didn't have to do that, I didn't want her to change her plans because of me."
"Baby, you didn't make her do anything, she just decided that she needed to be home with us, not off on a business trip. Now just relax a little bit and try and sleep." The teenager snuggled into her mother and let Beca continue to try and soothe her. Downstairs Aubrey and Chloe cleaned up the kitchen and washed the wine glasses before sitting down in the living room.
"Should one of us go to the airport to pick Luisa up?" Aubrey held up her phone in answer to Chloe's question.
"I ordered a car to pick her up. I don't feel right leaving Beca alone when she's this upset." Chloe paused and thought for a moment before turning to her friend.
"Should we be doing more Bree?"
"Chloe, what more can we do? We found out what she was doing and told her parents, the rest is up to them. All we can do is support them and keep a sharper eye on her behavior from now on."
"We are smart women Bree, but we missed something that was right under our nose." Aubrey sighed: she felt guilty too, but it was not going to help anybody to point fingers.
"She's a smart teenager Chloe and she hid what was happening well. She made sure that this came off as normal teenager moodiness. We didn't hand her a razor and look the other way.". Chloe nodded, knowing her friend was right, but they all felt powerless in that moment.
"I'm gonna go look in on Beca." Chloe went upstairs and Aubrey trailed behind her and they found Beca asleep in Johanna's bed with the teen sound asleep next to her. They shut the door and went back downstairs.
"What did you tell Isabella once Beca left? She must've had questions." Aubrey rubbed her face and nodded. "She did and she was upset, rightfully so. She doesn't understand why hurting yourself could make anyone feel better. I told her that I didn't totally understand it either, but that people feel so much intense emotional pain that they do something physically to deal with the pain. She wondered if she missed the signs something was wrong too. I soothed her the best I could, but the two of them may have to have a conversation about it when the dust settles." Their conversation was cut short when Aubrey's phone buzzed.
"The German says thanks for the car and she is on her way here." As they waited for Luisa to get home they enjoyed the silence and tried to calm themselves down after an emotional day. Roughly half an hour later, they heard the door being opened and soon saw Luisa enter the house, pulling her suitcase behind her. She quietly shut the door and looked up expecting to see her wife, but Aubrey pointed upstairs to indicate where her wife was.
"She and Johanna are asleep in Jojo's bed."
"And the rest of my children, are they sleeping?"
"Safe and sound and they have no idea what is wrong, but they both have an idea that something is going on so be prepared for that in the morning." Chloe warned Luisa and she nodded, her children were many things, but naïve and dumb were not on that list so it stood to reason that they would be suspicious of the attention their sister was getting.
"You both can go home, you must be tired after everything that happened."
"You must be tired after flying all over the place today. Don't worry about us, we are just here if you need help, otherwise we will gladly leave you guys to handle this as a family."
"You are family too, ja?" Luisa smiled, maybe for the first time in hours and the other women nodded.
"We are, but we can also leave when you need time with your kids and wife to sort this out." Luisa ran her hand over her face and shrugged her shoulder, "I don't even know where to begin to sort this out." Aubrey stood from her chair and went to the kitchen and returned with three glasses and a bottle of whiskey.
"Not that alcohol is the answer, but I bet you could use some." Aubrey poured a glass for everyone and Luisa gladly took hers and sat on the couch. After more silence Luisa asked Aubrey, "how bad are they?"
Aubrey took a drink before answering, "some of them were pretty bad, but I don't think any of them needed stiches."
"You don't think she was trying to do more than hurt herself do you?" Luisa looked at both women with pleading eyes.
Aubrey bit the bullet, "I don't think any of them were suicide attempts and I don't think that is what you are dealing with here. Of course, I could be wrong, but she can tell you more about that." Luisa played with her drink and before drinking it she muttered, just loud enough for the others to hear, "I thought about it once." Luisa finished her drink and Chloe and Aubrey just about dropped theirs's.
"Seriously? But you always seemed so together." The German nodded at Chloe's statement. "I was after I threw myself into DSM. After school was over I felt lost and overwhelmed and I didn't think I had any options. So I started sleeping all day, not eating and one day it occurred to me that I could end it. I planned what I would do, but when it came to writing a note, I couldn't do it."
Aubrey was stunned, "does Beca know?"
Luisa smiled and nodded, "of course the maus knows, you think I'd keep that secret from my wife?"
Aubrey was careful with her question, "you don't think about it now do you?"
Luisa became very serious in that moment, "I have a wife, 3 kids, a job and you nerds as friends. I have things to live for now that I didn't have then. I promise, I am not going anywhere." Aubrey nodded and finished her drink before turning back to the German, "good, cuz you know I would have to kick your ass if you did anything to break Beca's heart right?"
"I remember the threat you made when I told you I was going to propose."
"Good, it still stands…but, if you ever need to talk to someone you have my fucking phone number. You call me if you ever think that again."
"Relax pit bull, you have my word, I am not going anywhere. Besides my daughter is the one who needs help now, not me."
"Just wanted to be clear."
"Be clear about what?" Beca came walking down the stairs and looked a little less sad when she caught site of her wife. The German walked over to Beca and Beca sort of fell into her embrace.
"She asleep?"
"Finally." Beca sat on the couch next to Chloe and rubbed her forehead. "So what were you talking about that has Aubrey making her 'pissed off because I care face."
"I told them about what almost happened back before I joined DSM." Beca didn't need any more info than that.
"She's not suicidal, I asked her like six times and you know she sucks at lying." Luisa nodded and ran her hand across her face. "Do we know what she was using?" Beca nodded and went and retrieved the box of razors and handed them to her wife. The German looked at the package in her hand and she made a face that Beca couldn't read and even Aubrey was at a loss over what her friend was thinking.
"I should've seen this in her. She was going to bed earlier, wearing her long sleeve shirts everywhere, distancing herself from us. I may not have done what she did Beca, but I know what that dark place looks like and I couldn't see it in my own child. If it was a snake it would've bit me." Beca rubbed her wife's arm and kissed her briefly, trying to calm her down.
"Honey, we ALL missed what was happening, but she hid it well. She isn't blaming us and I don't think we should be beating ourselves up over this. I want to, but I don't think it'll help her."
"So what do we do then?"
"We call around to some therapists and take her to go see one. We are going to get through this, I promise." Beca offered her wife a smile and Luisa returned it half-heartedly. Aubrey spoke up from her spot in the living room, reaching forward to grab the package of razors from the German.
"And you won't be going through it alone. Chloe and I are here to help and if you choose to tell any of the other girls then you will have full Bella support. And that support is going to start by me getting rid of these." Aubrey put the package in her bag with the intention of throwing them out in some alley garbage can where none of their kids were likely to find them.
Luisa pulled away from Beca and smiled at Aubrey, "so, it wasn't enough for you to save my son's life, you had to save my daughter's as well? Once a pit bull, always a pit bull." Luisa winked at Aubrey and Aubrey smiled which felt weird given the situation.
"First off, I didn't save your son's life, I helped deliver him…"
"On the side of the highway, in a downpour, with a 4 year old in the backseat."
"And secondly, I didn't save Johanna. I just happened to be there when things fell apart."
"Ja, and you put them back together did you not?" Luisa stood from her chair and eventually she was standing toe to toe with Aubrey. "Thank you for everything, especially everything with Johanna. We owe you and Chloe big time. You just name your price, whatever you want its yours." Aubrey eye her one time opponent and offered her a sad smile.
"She's family, you are family, your son is named after me, I love her like I love my own girls. I don't want anything from either of you. Just keep me posted and let me know if I can do anything to help." Chloe put her hand on Aubrey's shoulder as if to echo what her friend had said. Luisa surprised everyone by offering Aubrey a hug that she held onto a bit longer than normal.
"Well, thank you regardless. You were once again there when I couldn't be and I most definitely owe you for that."
Aubrey shook her head and smiled, "my family never taught me much about being a family, but the Bellas did and if I learned one thing from them it's that you do for family. I'm just glad I could help somehow. Chloe did the hard work getting her to talk, I just happened to be standing by."
"You both are very modest and it makes it very hard to thank you properly." Aubrey picked up her purse and nodded, "I know, drives you nuts doesn't it?" Aubrey and Chloe headed for the door and offered the couple one more hug before they went home for the night, leaving a quiet house and two parents who didn't know where to start with helping their daughter. Luisa looked around and sighed before looking at Beca.
"I think tonight we might just need to be thankful that she is safe and sleeping in her bed and tomorrow…tomorrow we deal with the rest, together.". Beca put her hand in Luisa's and nodded, "together".
So I think I'll leave this storyline alone for now. I might come back in and do Kristina's birth story since people asked for it. I need to update another story first though, but thanks for the support.
