A.N.: Sorry for disappearing. Life happens sometimes. Updates should be regular again. And just because I love Jo and Joker, they get some happy time they deserve!
After the spectacular breakfast Joker went to the cockpit to work on the systems with EDI, but there was nothing to be done about the FTL at the moment and they still had twelve more days to go. At least the chance of a pirate attack was smaller after they'd cleared the relay at Omega. He was still half busy checking the systems and half sunk into thoughts about his new life situation – he and Jo in a relationship?! – when Mordin came over and silently handed him a small datapad. It was barely bigger than his palm, one of those used for small tasks or data transfer. If anyone were to rob his house, they'd leave this thing behind because it looked worthless.
The worth of this particular datapad could be measured against the whole galaxy and would probably win. And not just in his personal estimation. Joker turned it on with shaking hands. There it was. A steady stream of heartbeat, blood pressure, adrenalin levels, brain activity and dozens of other biometric readings. A location on a miniature zoomable galaxy map. Audio stream.
Mordin had probably created something unheard of before. Such a small receiver on a frequency that even EDI couldn't detect? No wonder the salarian had worked all night on this.
Joker connected the audio stream to his earpiece experimentally.
"…you really think she'll go for it?" Garrus' voice.
"Garrus, why don't you trust me on this one?" Jo was saying. "I'm telling you, she'll say yes. And if she doesn't, you just have to find out what would persuade her."
"But what if she doesn't…"
"Hey, I'm sort of a girl, myself. I know a girl's heart. Just go with what I tell you to do."
Joker had no idea what they were talking about, but he had a suspicion they were plotting to get Tali somehow interested in Garrus. Joker grinned to himself. He had no doubt that the minute Jo was finished talking to Garrus, she would go to Tali and make sure the girl accepted whatever the turian was going to offer. She had real people skill, his girl. She could make these two socially awkward people find their way to each other so subtly that they'd be grateful in the end.
This thing he was holding in his hands, he thought suddenly, it gave him more than control over Jo's life. It gave him information about everyone she would ever talk to from now on. All the secrets people shared with her would be his. She just gave it all to him and she hadn't even asked for his discretion. She just trusted him with the most important and potentially dangerous source of information the galaxy had to offer at the moment. That thought was like a punch to his guts. As long as he had this, he would have to be a better man than he'd ever planned to be.
That night Jo declared a celebration night and everyone cheered until Gardner said that their supplies were running low. They had enough food to last 12 days until resupplying, but he had nothing to work with for a celebration.
"Don't you worry," Jo said with such a shit eating grin that they knew: she had something up her sleeve. She lazily leaned back on the sofa in Kasumi's room right into his arms and said: "Grunt, go up to the loft and get the two cooling boxes from under my working desk down here. Don't forget to unplug them first! EDI, let him in this once without authorisation codes."
"What are you hiding up there, Shep?" Kasumi couldn't resist a secret.
"You'll see in a moment."
Everyone gathered around to relax on Kasumi's sofas and to enjoy the last drinks from the bar, when Grunt returned with the two huge boxes Joker had noticed in his new bedroom before but hadn't bothered to check out.
A rippling wave of excitement caught the entire crew when the boxes were opened and items started to appear on the bar. Ice cream boxes, chocolate, candy, cigars, expensive alcohol for both levos and dextros, even a small box with those cocktail cherries she had sometimes put on his ice cream back in the day. So, that was her big secret? A stash of luxuries for the whole crew? He hugged Jo into himself as they watched the crew spread out the goodies with cries of pure bliss.
"You kept this stuff hidden in your room all this time?"
"Yes," she purred against his chest. "Just for this kind of situation. Never let it be said that I don't take care of my people."
"No, that can never be said about you," he couldn't help but grin along with the rest of the crew. The celebration mood rose even higher when people started making music requests to EDI, mixing drinks and moaning over their chocolate.
"Besides, look at them," Jo pointed around with her chin. "Right now they'd forgive anything and anyone, even us for sleeping with each other."
As always, she played people. That was what she did. Her own crew, her best friends and him as her lover – Johanna Shepard loved playing people. And he loved her for it.
He wanted to tell her that, but it didn't seem like the right time. Twenty people were laughing, dancing and frolicking around them and Jo was too absorbed into watching them, enjoying their joy.
Zaeed sat down across from them with a huge cigar between his teeth and a glass of cognac in a lazy hand.
"This was made on Earth," he declared, taking a sip with a blissful moan.
"I know, Zaeed, I bought it," Jo laughed and put her feet on the couch to curl up against Joker's side like a cat.
"Why aren't you two getting anything for yourself? Hurry before the last of the stuff is gone."
"Who said it was my last stash?" Jo stuck her tongue out at the scar-faced human. He puffed his cigar and shook his head with a grin:
"You're bloody amazing, Shepard."
She just shrugged a little. Compliments obviously meant nothing to her, and Joker loved that about her, too. Zaeed, however, proceeded to scrutinise them.
"You both look different today than before."
"Yeah," Joker couldn't help himself. "I plucked my eyebrows this morning."
"You little shit," Zaeed puffed more smoke in their direction. "It's like you've both been looking for something and now you've found it. Like the edge is off for both of you."
"I hope you're not insinuating that I'm growing soft," Jo still sounded like a purring cat from where her head was leaning on his shoulder, but both he and Zaeed knew she could kill them both in three seconds, if she wanted to.
"No. It's just… Oh, bloody hell, I'm not into all this touchy-feely stuff…"
"But you have something to say. So say it."
"You're a lone she-wolf, Shepard. Women like you are rare but unforgettable. You follow your own path and it's better not to stand in your way. You were still searching for the one man who's yours when we met and now you've found him. God knows what you see in him, 'cause I honestly don't. No offence, pilot boy. I doubt anyone here can fucking see how this thing between you two is supposed to work out. But the change in you, both of you, is bloody amazing. I've seen it happen once before in my life, that's how I know that you two are right, no matter what anyone thinks or says."
"Huh," Jo absently fumbled the lapel of his cargo pants' pocket. "You're the last person I expected to get support from."
Joker realised through Zaeed's words that there was some story in the mercenary's past about another she-wolf of a woman, a story which Zaeed was not going to share. But he'd said enough. It must have been someone pretty special for the old mercenary to get so "touchy-feely". Before they could continue this slightly awkward conversation, though, more people started joining them. Some were holding a drink, some were enjoying sweets, all of them seemed relaxed, happy and euphoric about their successful mission. Their victory was finally starting to sink in.
Their journey continued on pretty much the same pattern. People got up late, cleaned up the mess around the ship, worked on systems or repairs, but most of the time the crew just enjoyed doing nothing. People talked a lot, laughed, shared things that couldn't be shared in those gloomy months when everyone was getting ready to die. Now people made plans to live. And in the evenings they would party. Jo turned out to have some more stuff hidden up in the loft, but even that ran out by the tenth day. Nobody cared. They played poker or other games half the night, and Jo and Joker played, too. From the past bloody poker battles between Jo and Kasumi people knew she could clean them all out without trouble, but she didn't let her superiority show anymore. It was not about impressing them. Now they were all simply relaxing. And when Jack and Zaeed would really get into the game late at night, Jo and Joker would sneak away. Then they'd get creative.
She'd woken him up with screams twice more in that time, but at least she was getting some sleep every night now. She wasn't ghosting around the ship anymore and the dark circles under her eyes were slowly starting to fade. Even her ashen skin was getting a little healthier, rosier.
Jo never pushed her presence on her crew, but the crew – be it on the SR1 or SR2 Normandy – usually wanted her around. Except now they could see that the two of them would rather be alone, and that was when Joker got the first real respect and appreciation for a bunch of people in his life.
Because the crew let them have that privacy. After a few days nobody found it strange anymore to see them curled up and entangled on a sofa, nobody commented on Jo looking like a soft, purring cat in those moments, no matter how uncharacteristic it was. Nobody was giving him shit about sleeping with the Commander. Even Jacob and Kelly, who clearly felt no enthusiasm about this new development, kept their misgivings to themselves. The rest of the crew simply let them be. Joker hadn't expected for them all to be so discreet, but they surprised him.
Joker had never before spent so much time on a space ship outside the pilot chair. But there was nothing for him to do on such a slow speed, so he dedicated the time to the promise he'd made to Jo when he witnessed her nightmare. He was asking her about things she liked.
He'd discovered very soon that the concept of liking something was pretty much foreign to her. She'd spent so much time doing grand, important things that the little things got completely neglected. She had no idea what her favourite food was, or favourite colour, or vid. She did, however, have a favourite song called "Bridge under water". It was from fifty years ago by an obscure little band from Earth called Meticulous Arrows that never even made it past a few radio appearances back then. They were among the last to disappear into nothingness before humanity discovered the extranet and other species. Today nobody knew of that band. The song was a tango rhythm underlined with heavy drums and a raspy voice sang something about water and stones.
Joker had never heard it before, nor had he ever noticed Jo listening to it. He asked EDI and she confirmed that this song had never been played on the SR2 Normandy. Joker wondered about that.
They played strip poker when alone in the cabin, or watched vids, or played the origami game he'd shown her so long ago, and they spent countless hours sexually exploring each other. Those were the moments that still blew his mind, especially when her jaw healed and she really showed him what she could do with her mouth and tongue. She could make him feel things no porn had ever suggested possible and no hooker had ever managed. And then she went and completely blew his mind when he asked her how she felt about anal sex and she said she'd never tried before but was not at all opposed to the idea.
It was distracting as hell sometimes because every now and then a memory would come up, an image of a heated night before, when they'd lose themselves in each other, and Joker would get hard instantly, just thinking about it. The need to be with Jo was overwhelming. All day long, as they moved around the ship on errands, the need would pull them towards each other, finding them in the most inappropriate times and places. He knew he had to be professional about it, and he could see how hard Jo was trying to keep up the Commander image in front of the crew, but they both had been swept away by this hurricane of emotions, feelings and desires. His porn consumption plummeted to zero overnight because the memories in his mind were a million times hotter than any porn. They were real.
They more or less lived in their own private world for those twelve days. It was a world he had never imagined possible, not for himself anyway. No doom, no war, no politics, no conflicts or enemies existed on the ship for twelve days, nothing to mar the bliss of a successful mission followed by his every dream coming true.
But they did arrive at the Citadel eventually. Jo told everyone that the ship would be docked for at least two weeks to be fully repaired and anyone who had other places to be and things to do was free to leave her command whenever they wished. She offered those who stayed and helped with the repairs to fly them to a destination of their choice afterwards because she was officially giving each of them a month of vacation to visit their families or to do whatever they wanted outside the ship. She looked genuinely touched when every single crew member volunteered to stay and help.
The Citadel greeted them by reminding them that not everything was sunshine and bunnies. Jo went to talk to the Council to inform them that she'd taken care of the problem with disappearing human colonies and to present them with the data on the Reaper larva. The non-humans on the Council, however, dismissed her ideas once again by saying that this proved nothing, especially not her claim that an army of Reapers was about to attack. The only thing they agreed to do happily and frighteningly quickly was to give her and her people leave of absence. She was still a registered Spectre, but they didn't care for how long she'd go away on vacation. One month? Two? A year? Why not take forever? Anderson seemed a little more apologetic and sympathetic, but Jo didn't really seem to care about his reassurances that he believed her.
"They'll come running, Anderson. When it finally happens, they'll come running to me because I know more about the Reapers than anyone else, and I can help. Don't worry, I won't hold grudges. I'll be there and I'll help. You don't need to try and boost my morale. Knowing what awaits us in the near future is the most powerful morale boost you can imagine."
"Still, I'd like you to know that I support you," the Councillor said.
"Good for you. What about Hackett?"
"He knows what's good for the Alliance and for humanity, Shepard. He believes you, too."
"At the end of the day, Anderson, que sera sera." She shrugged a little. "Our cycle had more warning than anyone's ever had before. The Protheans gave their lives to give us this chance. We stopped the initial invasion, but now the hard part begins. We should use this time to build up our fleets, train troops, stockpile supplies, develop new weapons, strengthen our communications and defences, preferably abandon the Citadel and build our own mass relays. That would be ideal. But we won't. This is our nature: bury our heads in the sand, no matter what species we belong to. So, when the Reapers attack, this is how ready we'll be," she spread her hands, pointing at the Presidium. "Que sera sera. If we don't win as ready as we're going to be by then, no one will ever know."
"Don't tell me you're going to sit around, wait for your fate and give up without fighting," Anderson frowned at her.
Joker jumped when her camera was suddenly in Anderson's face and she hissed in an evil voice:
"Don't you fucking dare. I died for this and I was brought back from the dead for it. How do you think it makes me feel, knowing that every precious second we're wasting is bringing us closer to our death and annihilation? You didn't see that Prothean vision, Anderson. You didn't talk to Sovereign and Saren, didn't see the Collectors and the human Reaper they were building. You go to bed every night knowing that there is at least a possibility that I'm wrong and crazy, like they all say I am. What do you think it feels like to know that I'm not wrong? Every wasted second, minute, day is driving me nuts. Don't you dare talk to me like I'm a quitter. Because fuck it, Anderson, I'm the one doing the most fucked up job in the universe. I'm be waiting for the doomsday, knowing it's about to happen, helpless to change anything. The only thought that's keeping me sane right now is that whatever will be, will be."
"I'm sorry, Shepard, I didn't mean to sound like I consider you a quitter."
"I don't need your fatherly shoulder for support, Anderson. I'm a fucking N7, like you. Better than you, because I actually made it to the Spectres and defeated your old enemy for you. What I need from you is that you do your job in all this without bringing shame on me. Can I count on that?"
Joker swallowed hard. No one, he was sure of it, had ever dared to speak to a Citadel Councillor like they were their underling. Anderson knew that, too. Joker could see that the elder man didn't like being face-planted into the fact that she'd succeeded where he'd failed, despite their similar training. He also wondered why Jo was antagonising this man. He was basically her only friend out there, he cared about her and he had the power to help her.
But Jo played people, he reminded himself of that every day. And being an N7 meant things he couldn't understand, because the pain in Anderson's face was finally replaced by dark determination.
"You're right, Shepard, you are a better N7 than I am. A better Spectre, for sure. This is exactly why I believe in you and trust your judgement. It doesn't matter how I feel about you, you're right: I'm not your father. I am an N7, though, and we stand together bound by more than circumstances. You go out there and do what you need to do and I'll do my part as well as any N7 can to make his family proud. And I'm still proud of you, whether you need it or not."
Anderson may be proud, but Joker was hot for her. Twist an old, experienced N7 around her little finger like that? Wow. Joker was beginning to understand why she'd left the Alliance. Her road took her much higher than any human Admiral position. She would be the one to lead all the species and all their Admirals into battle eventually.
She never asked anymore if he'd heard what had been said during her time away from the ship. He would always know, if not from her camera, then from the chip in her jaw. But Joker had no need to resort to the clandestine methods. The receiver datapad Mordin had made for him landed in a desk drawer in their cabin, unused since then. Joker didn't want to tempt fate by letting anyone know such a thing existed. Right now only he, Jo, Chakwas, Mordin and EDI knew. And Jo gave him enough other opportunities to spy on her.
As the repairs on the Normandy began and some team members started planning their departure, they still kept spending the evenings on the ship, playing cards and relaxing.
On their fourth night on the Citadel it was poker night again and the stakes were high. Grunt was muttering angry words over his cards, Tali was all dignity as she counted her winnings from the last round, Garrus dealt the cards, Jack was telling some loud story, Zaeed and Donnelly were whispering quietly, undoubtedly plotting the "happy couple's" demise in this round. The "happy couple" was still a point of some interest. Joker sat on the couch, cards in his left hand, right arm draped over the backrest. Jo had been sitting next to him at first with her own cards in her hand, but after a while she leaned closer and closer. Now her body was resting against his ribcage, her head relaxed on his shoulder and her bent knees on his thigh.
"You two look so cosy together," Tali said. Kasumi nodded:
"I barely remember ever seeing you so relaxed before, Shep."
"I'll take that as a compliment," Jo said softly and contentedly. She could feel Joker's thrill at the whole situation. Her being with him, showing off their togetherness so openly, standing by him and others taking it so well. It was not like before the suicide mission, when he'd simply allowed her to love him. He was changing as he let himself fall deeper and deeper in love with her. The look in his eyes, that overwhelming need and desire for her, like she was the air he breathed, was the exact reflection of her own feelings.
"You should," Kasumi smiled. "It's nice to know you're only human, after all."
"There were doubts about that?" Joker asked.
"You've got to admit, your girl fights like a demon and argues even harder." Kasumi shrugged.
Some people looked up, curious to see Jo's reaction at being called Joker's "girl". She only nuzzled her cheek against his chest and grinned:
"Royal Flush."
There was a row of protesting sounds and everyone put their cards down.
"What, did you think I suddenly became soft and weak?" She laughed.
"No, what I'm wondering is you, pilot boy," Zaeed grunted. "You could see her cards all this time."
"Yeah."
"You've lost two hundred credits willingly?"
"Like they would go anywhere," Joker tightened his arm around Jo's shoulders.
"You can try and win them back later," Jo suggested in a lower, more private voice that surprised the others even more. They'd never heard her speak like that. "We can see if the whole total of my clothes' worth sums up to 200 credits."
That earned her a few gulps and shocked faces. EDI, ever helpful, spoke up:
"The clothes you're wearing right now, Commander, are worth ninety two credits."
"Well, I guess I'll have to find another way to give you your money's worth," Jo grinned up at Joker, who grinned back:
"Losing money to you is a purely selfish act on my account."
"Geez, people, get a room!" Donnelly groaned. "And I never thought I'd be saying this to my CO."
"That is a brilliant suggestion, actually," Jo transferred the money she'd won to her omnitool and detached herself from Joker: "If you want a rematch, I'm heading to our room, coming up with all the ways to give you 200 credits worth of pure agonizing pleasure."
She got up and walked off, as people were staring after her in disbelief, arousal, and pure possessiveness in Joker's case.
Joker woke up next morning to an empty bed. Sure it was pretty late, but why did she have to sneak out so quietly?
"EDI, where's Shepard?" He asked before he even reached for his clothes.
"The Commander is on the Citadel on a business and she asked me not to monitor her."
Joker sat up. Was she keeping some secret from EDI? Well, she could keep no secrets from him. He didn't strictly have to do this, but he decided he wanted to, just because. He retrieved the mini pad from the desk drawer and connected the audio feed to his earpiece. There were the usual sounds of busy Citadel streets that she was apparently walking right now, but she wasn't talking to anyone and for the first time he realised how useless the audio feed was without the visual. He disconnected and tossed the device back where it had been. So, what's with the secrets?
And what to do without her? He'd gotten so used to always being next to her that he was a little lost for a moment. But there was breakfast, there was the new FTL drive to be installed today, and the girls were talking about having a big party at some club later tonight because Samara and Kasumi were leaving on their own business next day. Next time he asked EDI about Shepard was about seven hours later, when he remembered he hadn't had lunch.
"She'd come to the ship earlier and left again," EDI said. "She also left something in your cabin for you."
Joker wasted no time. When he saw a shopping bag with a logo of some expensive store sitting on the bed, he knew Jo was up to something.
Inside it he found a silk shirt of such deep blue that it almost looked black. Under it was a pair of black pants. Both civilian. Both in his size. Both the kind of clothes he'd never owned. When he tried them on, he knew why. Back when he'd still been using the crutches, such an outfit would have looked ridiculous. After he'd joined the military, his wardrobe options had been severely reduced to his standard uniform.
The dark blue made his white skin shine with nobility instead of the usual unhealthy paleness of a spacer. The shirt managed to compliment his crooked shoulders by some weird magic. And the pants made his legs appear long and his waist narrow.
"Okay," he said to the mirror, putting his ACE cap back on. "I get it, I'm supposed to look hot. Now what?"
"I believe there is one more item in the bag," EDI said helpfully. He almost said 'What would I do without you?', but stopped himself. He didn't need to encourage the AI to interfere in his affairs any more than she already did.
At the bottom of the shopping bag he found an honest to god paper note. Who wrote notes on papers anymore? The material was too expensive of a commodity these days to use for notes. The writing only gave him an address and a time, nothing else. Looking at it Joker realised he'd never seen Jo's handwriting. He'd read hundreds of her reports, but he'd never seen anything handwritten before. On a whim he decided to keep it, for a rare thing that it was.
So, she was planning a date for them? He cursed himself for not thinking about this earlier. They'd been docked for three days now and he should have taken his new girlfriend out on a real date by now. That showed him clearly where his brains had been all this time. In the gutter.
He also realised he was relieved. He didn't really date. The last time he'd been out with a girl was so long in the past that he didn't even remember how those things were being done anymore. And yes, he was supposed to be the guy who knew Jo best of all, but even he drew a blank when he tried to imagine what she would like for a first date.
Then he realised that he did know. She'd told him a long, long time ago. They'd been celebrating their victory over Saren and Sovereign at the Flux with the original Normandy's crew, and Jo had told him that her idea of fun was a gardening exhibition. Now he had something to think about as he looked at himself in her mirror.
