A/N: I'm back and all better. At least for the most part. I still have a few bruises and my neck is still a little sore which is why this chappie is going to be a little short. But I didn't want to make you guys wait any longer. Thank you for your support, well-wishes, and understanding. It meant quite a bit too me. Finally, I was surprised at how many people guessed the Hoes over Bros quote. Unfortunately, I'm unable to name everyone so if you gueesed One Tree Hill give yourself ten points. My sister is obesessed with the show and I watch it with her from time to time. That was one of my favorite quotes. It's the way it should be in every friendship.
EDWARD
I laid on the bed staring at the spot where Bella disappeared in utter shock. I couldn't believe what had just happened. I ruined my own plan. How could I have been so stupid?
I had known that Alice was going to tell Bella. I had known that Alice was probably going to bring Bella here for some time to think. Why did I invite Jessica here? I knew our meetings always turned into sex. Even if we were just planning on talking, we ended up having sex. It didn't matter what the conversation was about. It always ended with sex.
I had told Bella not to believe Alice. Yet, here I was doing the very thing that Alice told Bella I was doing. I couldn't believe I had allowed things to get this far. I was never supposed to hurt Bella like this. I think I just destroyed one of the only people in this world that made me truly happy.
Alice stared at Jessica and I in disgust for a few seconds before following Bella out of the room. Jessica, who had already disentangled herself from me, was sitting on the otherside of the bed with a sheet wrapped around her looking like Christmas had come early. I didn't take anytime to wonder what she was so happy about. I had to get to Bella and try to salvage what I could of our relationship. I loved her, truly loved her, and wasn't prepared to give her up yet.
I ran out of the bedroom threw on my boxer and t-shirt. I didn't bother with pants or shoes. I didn't want them to leave before I had a chance to say my peace. I ran down the stairs and out the door. Thankfully, Bella was too upset for Alice to want to try to leave. They were both sitting on the cement ground. Bella was crying into Alice's chest while Alice stroked her hair and whsipered comforting things.
I watched them for a few minutes. I knew I had to say soemthing but I didn't know what to say. I knew I screwed up and Bella was very happy with me. I knew that I had a lot of begging and pleading to do to get her back. I just didn't know where to begin. I slowly made my way towards the two.
"Bella, could I talk to you for a minute?" I asked catiously.
Alice turned her cold ice blue glare on me.
"Haven't you done enough damage?" she asked with a voice full of venom.
"I asked to speak to Bella not you." I replied acidly.
Alice turned back to Bella.
"Do you wanna talk to him?" Alice asked.
Bella made a movement into Alice's chest. I couldn't tell if she was shaking or nodding.
"Okay." Alice replied pulling her keys out of her pocket. "Why don't you get in the car and turn on some music. I have a few things that I would like to say."
Bella nodded, took the keys and got into the car. A minute later, Kelly Clarkson's Don't Let Me Stop You came blaring out of the car and I knew it was directed at me. I sighed and turned my attention to Alice. Sometimes she was really annoying with the protective best friend act.
"You're a fucking prick." she stated crossing her arms over her chest. "Not to mention stupid."
"Look Alice, I don't need to deal with your shit." I stated. "I just need to talk to Bella. I need to explain and apologize."
"What's their to explain?" Alice said. "You were cheating on her and she caught you red handed this time. There's no way you could possibly explain your way out of what she saw in there. And as far as apologizing goes, save your breath. I know you're not sorry. If you were you wouldn't have slept with Jessica in the first."
I knew there was a reason I hated Alice. She knew she'd knock a hole in everyone of my arguements. Why couldn't she just let me talk to Bella? I mean this was between the two of us, after all. Alice had nothing to do with it. Whyy couldn't she just mind her own business.
"If there isn't anything else, I think we'll be going." Alice stated and headed to the other side of the car.
I couldn't let her leave until I've talked to Bella. She had to understand why I did this. Maybe then I could actually begin to save our relationship.
"Alice, wait, you don't understand, I love her." I pleaded.
"Don't give me that shit." she replied nearly hissing. "You know as well as I do that if you loved her, you wouldn't have had to go to Jessica for anyhting. You would've been happy with what Bella gave you. You would've understood how she felt about sex and what happened to her mother. But you didn't. All you thought about was what she wasn't giving you. And that's not love, Edward, that's selfishness."
Her speech made me angry. She had no idea how deeply I felt for Bella. Just because I had sex with Jessica, didn't mean I felt any different about Bella. In fact, I knew if it came down to Bella and Jessica, I'd pick Bella. Bella needed to know that.
"Don't tell me how I feel about that girl!" I yelled. "I love her more than you can ever imagine. Everything she wants, she gets. Everything she needs, she gets. All she has to do is ask. I would give her the world if I could. And she knows that. And all I asked in return for all of that was a little bit of sexually attention and she couldn't give it to me. I needed that release. I mean, I understand about her mother and all but it's been seven years. She was only ten when it happened and probably didn't even understand the concept of rape. And it's not like she saw it happen or anything. She was sitting in the car the whole time. I don't understand why it's such and big issue for her. She should be over it be now."
"Yes, Edward, she was only ten when it happened. And yes, she didn't understand the concept of rape at the time but do you have any idea how hard it was for her when she started learning about it? She had to relive the whole thing when her dad explained all of it to her at fifteen." Alice replied. "And you were wrong about her being in the car while it was happening. She doesn't want me to tell you this but I think you deserve to know and be made to wallow in your own guilt. Bella saw and heard everything that happened that night! Those sick fucks made her watch the whole thing. She didn't tell you because she was afraid that you'd think she was never going to get over it. She thought you would leave her."
Alice's words stopped me in my tracks. I was in utter shock. I had no idea about that. It explained alot though, I supposed. Like the one and only time she gave me a blow job. She threw up halfway through and had to spend the rest of the day with Alice. I didn't understand it at first but now it made since. She was reliving what they had forced her mother to do no doubt.
Alice was right. I felt totally guilty. Had I known the full story, I probably would've thought twice about the situation.
"Alice, I swear if I would've known, I wouldn't have...." I started but Alice cut me off.
"Don't even go there." she said. "It doesn't matter what you would've done if you would've known. In fact, what you did when you didn't know shows your true colors. You should've been there for her enough to accept her decision and fears with no complaints or pressure. And certainly not with another woman on the side. You're just a disgusting and pathetic excuse for a man and boyfriend and that's all you'll ever be."
She opened her car door. I couldn't let her pull away. I had to talk to Bella first. She needed to know how I truly felt about her and everything.
"Alice, please, let me talk to her!" I begged.
"No, Edward." she replied. "She doesn't want to talk to you and I don't want you to upset her anymore. And all the begging in the world isn't going to change that. So why don't you do us all a favor and just walk away. For good."
With that she got into the porsche and drove off. I stood there staring for a long time. I was still in shock over what had juist happened. I had just lost and destroyed the love of my life. Regardless, of what Alice said, I knew in my heart how that Bella really was the love of my life. And I couldn't believe that I had just lost her.
I relaized in that moment that I couldn't live without Bella in my life. She was my all, my everything and I couldn't be without her. I could live without Jessica and the sex but Bella, I couldn't see a future without her. I only wished I had realized that a few days earlier. I guess the old sayings true, you don't really know what you got until it's gone.
I decided in that moment that I would do everything in my power to get Bella back. We were meant to be together and I would do what I had to do to prove that to her. I knew I'd have to give up a lot to make her see that I was serious. I would do it though. And Jessica would be the first thing to have to go.
A/N: I hope that ending came out okay. I'm really sore and tired tonight. I hope you all enjoyed the update. Please review.
