A/N: Sorry this one took so long to get out. I've been working on my novel and my Bella/Jasper story. I had sudden inspiration for both and White Horse got pushed to the back burner. However, I'm back and I hope this was worth waiting for.

BELLA

I paced the waiting room of Forks Memorial Hospital. It had been two hours since Jacob had been taken for sugery and we had yet to find out anything.

Charlie had convinced me to get the cuts on my back, wrists, and ankles checked out. The doctor deemed them nothing serious and simply cleaned and properly bandaged them. They were still very tender to the touch and stung when I turned or moved a caertain way. The ones on my ankles were throbbing as I paced. I had to force myself not to limp. I didn't want the others to think that there was anything wrong.

I was completely and utterly exhausted from everything that happened in the last seventy two hours. Not to mention the fact that I had been running on almost zero sleep in those seventy two hours. Needless to say, my body was yelling at me to sit and rest for a little while but my mind wouldn't allow it.

I was way too worried about Jacob to do anything but pace. There were way too many possibilities of what could be happening in that room. Too many to even begin to expalin. However, all of the worst scenerios were running through my head. Worst of all, whatever was happening with him, was all my fault.

If he hadn't felt the need to run in and save me, just like my true night on a white horse, he'd be just fine. It would've been my life that everyone was worried about. I could've handled that, because the whole Edward thing was my fault anyway. I deserved something bad to happen for putting my friends in that kind of danger. Jacob didn't, though. He was just trying to help me.

Charlie, Billy, Rose, Jazz, Em, and Alice were sitting on the benches and chairs whispering to each other. Usually, I'd be outraged that they were leaving me out, however, today I was too nervous to really care what they had to say. All I cared about was finding out what was going on with Jacob.

"Bella," Jasper stood and walked over to me, "We were talking and we think that it might be good if Rose, Al, Em, and I took you back to my place for a shower, some food, and rest."

I could tell that he was worried about upsetting me by the cation in his tone.

"It's okay." I answered, "I'm fine."

"No, you're not." Rose stated also rising. "Bella, you look deader than a vampire (A/N: Couldn't resist.). You at least need some sleep."

"I'm alright." I repeated. "Besides, I won't be able to sleep until I know exactly what's going on with Jacob."

"Which is why Billy and your dad are staying here." Rose replied. "They'll call us when they find out something."

"No, I need to be here when he comes out and wakes up." I explained.

"Bells," Charlie stood, walked to me and took both of my hands in his, "You aren't going to do him any favors by ignoring your health. You've been through so much in the past couple of days and are exhausted. If you force your body to stay, you'll be passed out before he wakes up. Jake's not going to want you to make yourself sick over what happened to him. Go back to Jasper's, get cleaned up, change your clothes, eat something and rest. He'll feel better when he wakes up if he sees you're alright."

I thought about what Charlie had said. I knew that I needed a shower and not just because I still felt Edward's hands all over me. I was covered in dirt, and sweat from the walk to the cabin and from being thrown around it. Plus, I was still in the sweat pants that Alice had brought and an oversized T-shirt that the hospital staff had lying around. I had absolutely no undergarments on. And, after everything I had just been through, that made me feel extremely exposed. Even though, I wasn't hungry at all, I hadn't had food in nearly twenty four hours and was going to need some kind of sustuence soon or I'd be passed out on the floor. As for rest, like I said before, my body long for it but my mind wouldn't allow it.

Still, with all of that, I felt like I should stay at the hospital and wait. I owed Jacob that and so much more. He saved my life and I had to repay him somehow.

I was about to reject the offer again until I looked into Charlie's eyes. They were silently pleading me to go and take care of myself. I could see all of his worry and fear about my health at the moment and he wanted to make sure that I was taken care of. It was that look that finally swayed me. He was my dad, after all, and he was already worried about Jacob, the least I could do was give him one less person to worry about.

"Okay," I sighed, "But you have to promise me that you'll call the minute you find out something."

"We will." he stated then gingerly embraced me trying to avoid hitting the cuts on my back. "I love you, Bells. I'm so glad that you're safe."

"I love you too, dad." I replied hugging him back.

We stayed in that position for a few seconds. When we pulled apart, Alice was there to steer me down the hall and out to Emmett's jeep.

The ride to Jasper's apartment was silent. Emmett drove while Rosalie sat beside him, holding his hand. Jasper, Alice, and I sat in the back. Alice was on one side of me with her arm around my shoulders while Jasper was on my other side. He had his hand on my thigh and was rubbing comforting circles with his thumb. I laid my head on Alice's shoulder and let a fear tears fall as memories of Jacob flowed through my mind.

When we got to Jasper's apartment, Alice led me straight to the bathroom, while Jasper ordered some pizza. Alice took great care in washing my back for me. She was careful not to hit the bandages or any sore spots that didn't require bandaging.

Once she finished that, she helped my wash the rest of my body, avoiding the cuts on my wrists and ankles as well as any bruises that I may have aquired over the last couple days. Then she washed my hair for me.

When we finished she gave me a decent pair of PJ's. The pants were a light pink with little red hearts all over them, while the shirt was long sleeved and a solid dark pink. She also gave me a pair of underwear that she swore was just bleached and washed the day before. I put them on without compliant, just glad to put something retristing on. Once I was dressed, Alice french braided my hair, so I wouldn't have to worry about it later.

The pizza was there by the time we finished. Due to my worry over Jacob, I didn't have much of an appetite. However, I forced myself to eat two pieces of it. I knew my body needed it and my friends wouldn't leave me alone unless I ate a little bit. I knew that didn't expect me to eat my usual four slices, so two was sufficient.

We ate in silence as I stared off into space. I tried to imagine what my life would be like without Jacob, which was utterly impossible. We had been best friends since before we even knew our own names. There wasn't a day in my life when I hadn't seen him. Whether it was for five minutes or five hours. He was just always there. I couldn't ever imagine it if he wasn't there. Life would just stop for me, especially now after discovering my true feelings for him.

I didn't want him to die before we had a chance to be in love with each other. I wanted to share with him. Things that I wouldn't even share with Edward. What if Jacob died before I had a chance to share those things? It was hard to even consider. However, I knew it was a major possibility.

"Bella," Rosalie voice broke me out of my thoughts. "Are you alright? You were out of it for a minute there."

"No, I'm not alright." I answered tears starting to form. "I'm trying to imagine my life without Jacob and I just can't. He was my first friend and has been there for me through literally everything. If I lose him, I don't know what I'll do."

I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. I felt them slide down my cheeks as I let out a small sob. Rose wrapped her arms around me and pulled me to her chest.

"Oh honey, you can't think about that." she cooed. "We don't even know if that's a possibility, yet. You've gotta assume that no news is good news. It'll make things easier to deal with, okay. Besides, I don't think that he's going to die. It would be pretty stupid of him to do go and do something like that when someone like you is waiting for him."

I appreciated her words but they didn't help. She didn't understand what was really bothering me. I had to tell them.

"But Rose, if he does die, it'll be my fault." I sobbed.

"How do you figure that?" she asked pulling me away from her.

"Because, he got hurt trying to save me. If he hadn't done that, then I'd be where he is and he'd be just fine." I explained.

"But he would much rather be where he is now than have you there." she replied matter-of-factly, "Besides, if any of us is to blame for what happened, it's us. We're the ones who went to save you, even though we knew one of us could get hurt. We went when Charlie told us not to. And we screwed up and got caught. It was our fault. You were just the victim that we were trying to save."

"You don't get it." I stated trying to hold in my frustration. "If I had just did and said what Edward wanted me to, there would've been no reason for you guys to have to rescue me. Which meant there would've been no screw up and Jacob wouldn't have gotten hurt."

Tears continued to slide down my face as I let out all of my frustrations.

"No, Bella, don't even go there." Alice stated sounding just as frustrated. "If you had did and said what Edward wanted you to, he would've known he could scare you into doing what he wanted. He'd use that advantadge to get everything from sex to marriage out of you. And once you married him, he start doing God only knows what to you and you'd never see Jacob, Charlie, or the rest of us again. As for Jacob, yeah, he might not have gotten hurt but he would've spent the rest of his life wondering what was happening to you. He would spend everyday worrying about whether your dead or alive. Mostly though, he'd spend the rest of his life wondering what would have happened if he had done something to save you from Edward. I'm sure he prefers it this way."

He words were true, but I wasn't ready to admit that to anyone, yet.

"That's all good and well, Alice, but it happened like this and not like that and Jacob's been hurt because of my decision. How the hell am I suppose to deal with that?" I yelled.

"By realizing that it wasn't just your decision that got Jacob where he is. Edward chose to take you and when he realized that his plan failed, he decided to try to end your life. Jacob chose not to let that happened. He threw himself between you and Edward and his knife because he loved you. He chose to save you." Emmett stated there was a fierceness to his voice. It was like he was willing me to understand. "Jacob's where he wants to be because that means you're safe. That's the only thing that matters to him. Your safety. So yes, you may have chose to defy Edward and that led gave Edward and Jacob their choices. But it the end, they were responsible for their own decisions when it came down to it. It isn't your fault because you couldn't have stopped either of the from those decisions at that moment. Do you understand?"

I actually did. It came down to what everyone wanted. Edward wanted me to die but Jacob didn't and they chose their paths accordingly. I couldn't have stopped it, no matter what I did. I had to accept that if I was ever going to get over what happened.

"Yes." I finally said.

"Good." he replied.

We were silent for a few minutes as we all got lost in our own thoughts about everything.

"You should get some sleep, Bella." Jasper said after a minute. "You can use my bed. I'll just sleep on the couch."

"It's okay." I answered, "I'm too worried about Jacob to sleep."

"I know, but you should just try." Jasper said. "It'll do you some good."

"I can't." I replied.

"Please just try." Jasper asked. "It'll make us feel better."

I looked into his concerned and caring eyes. I knew, as annoying as he was, that he was just trying to help. They all were. They wanted me to take care of myself since it was the only thing I could really do for Jacob. Humoring them was the least I could do to repay them for everything they had done for me.

"Alright." I replied. "I'll try."

I stood up and went into Jasper room. I curled up under the blankets and laid on my side. I knew it was a lost cause but I stayed there anyway. All I could think about was the worst possible things that could be wrong with Jacob. I couldn't help but shed a few tears as the thought of life without him kept cropping into my mind.

A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door and I looked up to find Alice and the others walking in.

"We thought you might need some company." Alice said as she walked over to the bed.

She sat crossed-legged at the top and pulled my head into her lap. She smoothed the hair on my head soothingly. Rose laid down behind me and started rubbing comforting circles onto my back. Jazz laid down in front of me with his head at Alice's knee, he grasped my hand tightly in his and held on. Emmett sat at the foot of the bed and placed a comforting hand on my calf, squeezing it gently.

I appreciated all of their love and support as we sat/laid there. I couldn't ask for a better support system as I waited to find out what would happen with my life. I couldn't help but continues to cry, though. Not only for Jacob but for everything that had happened in the past few days.

We were still sitting like that, a half hour later when Alice's cell started to ring.

A/N: HaHa!!! Cliffie! I wasn't gonna stop there but the MTV Movie Awards are about to start and I have to watch them because of twilight. I'm so excited.