Next day the gym buzzed like a beehive when they arrived. It was stuffed with people but nobody was training. The buzzing wasn't excitement, either. James felt tension mixed with apprehension in the air. He had the advantage of height over Shepard and looked around for her potential opponent. There was a big guy at the edge of the boxing ring, cold-faced and indifferent. He sat alone, looking at nobody in particular. Shepard made her way there and the spectators silently let her through. When she and James stepped closer, the buff guy finally stood up. James coughed, almost swallowing his tongue. This man had been almost the same height as everyone else while he was sitting. When he stood, he was clearly about two and a half meters tall and almost twice as wide across his shoulder as James was. James had never seen someone so big and he didn't like the feeling of inadequacy next to him. He suddenly felt small, and James Vega didn't remember the last time he'd felt small.

Shepard looked like a preschool girl next to him, only pigtails were missing. She stopped far enough from the man to look at him without throwing her head back too much.

"You the one?" She asked. The man didn't reply, but then James imagined a man like that didn't need to speak. Instead he slightly inclined his head towards the ring. "Why not," Shepard said, though it was clear that she doubted their fight would stay inside the ring, if he was good. Silence settled in the big room when the two opponents faced each other. Shepard didn't pop her neck or knuckles, like many fighters did. She didn't dance from one foot to another. But neither did her opponent. They just stood there for several moments, then the man reached out surprisingly quickly and backhanded her...

...and she let him.

James gasped when she flew to the side, broke the ring corner with her body and slammed into the wall just like the punching bag she'd kicked yesterday. He saw the impact, saw how she banged her head, shoulder and hip against the wall, he knew exactly how that felt. Anyone else would have ended up with a cracked skull, a dislocated shoulder and a few broken bones. He started towards her, but then everyone gasped as she unglued her body from the wall, shook her head to fight off dizziness and rose to her feet with a maniacal grin.

"Oh, yeah," she moaned with masochistic pleasure, rubbing blood off her chin and rotating her sore shoulder. "Come to mama!"

All James could do for the next ninety minutes was stand there amidst the other officers and gape, unbelieving.

The ring broke apart completely after only fifteen minutes, and when it did, other equipment in the gym came to suffer. Walls, pillars and floor were damaged even more. Neither Shepard nor her opponent used any weapons. It was a pure, raw fist fight without any rules, cruel, brutal, unforgiving. Whoever the man was, he seemed to be exactly what Shepard needed. He gave her no quarter. Whenever he could, he'd deliver real punches to places that really hurt. At times Shepard really reminded him of a charging krogan and he wondered if she had had some training with krogans before. She and Joker kept mentioning some krogan king and James still wasn't sure if it was a real person or just a joke. The woman never ceased to amaze. For all her small size it was clear that the implants Cerberus had given her made her superhuman. No wonder it was so hard for her to find a worthy opponent. Her file also mentioned hardened skin, bone and muscle weave. Her only disadvantage against the giant was her weight. She couldn't keep the man down even if she sat on his head. Still, even that didn't keep her from giving him a run for his money.

James felt hollow and empty inside as he watched. He knew from experience how quick she was. Like lightning. That's why he noticed all the times when she simply allowed the man to hit her. Face, ribs, legs – anywhere. She seemed to revel in pain, she drew strength from it, she seemed to enjoy forcing her body up again after collapsing in a bloody heap. She loved conquering pain, he got the impression. Pain gave her a sense of accomplishment, focus, filled her with adrenaline and reminded her of how strong she really was.

And she was. Whenever she landed a kick or a punch on the man, he felt it, James could tell. He favoured more than one leg after a while, he favoured his whole side.

James couldn't avoid the realisation anymore: he would never be the kind of opponent Commander Shepard needed to really let off some steam. He would never be strong enough, unless Cerberus decided to give him the same implants. He also completely lacked the capacity to viciously hurt the woman he admired so much. If she called it playing footsies, then so be it. He would just have to find other ways to be useful to her. After all, she was in love with a man who couldn't throw a punch without breaking his own arm in fifteen places. James liked to think that she valued more than brutal strength in people.

Shepard wasn't going for the kill. She could have used the items lying around them to kill the man a hundred times over. She could have torn out his trachea or do something else people always told stories about, but she did nothing of the sort and neither did the man. This was about inflicting simple pain with simple means, not about life or death.

Over an hour later the two of them grew slow and tired, bleeding all over the gym. The room looked like a bomb went off inside. Many officers around him sported injuries from simply having stood in the way of the battle. James ached all over just from watching. Nobody really won, nobody surrendered. At some point they both just decided it was enough and stopped. James saw Shepard raise a bloody, beaten hand to pull the man's head to her level gently. The giant leaned down to hear whatever she whispered in his ear and said nothing in reply, but the one eye that wasn't swollen sparked as he looked at her.

Shepard found James in the crowd easily. Everyone was silent, watching her walk like she was the second coming of Christ. But as she looked up at him from her demolished face, he saw real satisfaction there. That one look made sure that he'd do this again for her if she asked, even if it meant watching her suffer.

She waved him to follow her out of the gym and they almost made it to the exit before she suddenly bumped into someone who deliberately stepped in to block her way. She oompfed, bounced back and looked up. And up. So did James.

The man in front of her stood at six feet seven, nowhere near as tall as the guy from the ring, but he was big, too. He wore a Captain's insignia on a casual uniform, his skin was black as tar and he showed two rows of perfect pearl-white teeth as he grinned at Shepard from his height. James was about to step in and chase away an unwanted intruder when suddenly Shepard did something nobody in the room had expected from her:

She squealed and jumped into the man's arms.

He caught her expertly and wrapped his long arms around her waist as she wrapped her arms and legs around him in a tight hug, truly like a small school girl. James felt a pang of jealousy on Joker's behalf (why would he feel it on his own behalf, really?), but then he realised that the Captain's hands never went to her ass to support her. He held her chastely around her waist and kept grinning.

She released him only after she profoundly soaked his uniform with her blood and sweat. He carefully placed her back on the ground.

"Mbala," she breathed out with genuine pleasure.

"Jo Shepard, as I live and breathe," the Captain said, gently rubbing his palms over Jo's upper arms. For a minute the two of them just stood there, grinning at each other, and a whole conversation seemed to happen just in their glances.

James also couldn't help but wonder. Was the man an old lover? An old friend? Judging by his colouring James could exclude any blood relation, but maybe someone she'd considered a brother in arms?

"Vega, this is Mbala, my old boot camp buddy," Shepard finally spoke, never taking her eyes off the newcomer. "We haven't seen each other in, what, twelve years?"

"Thirteen," Captain Mbala corrected her. James nodded. It explained why she was so happy to see the man. Best friendships formed in those boot camp days between soldiers, friendships lasting lifetimes.

"You got time?" She asked.

"Just tonight, and I'm not even supposed to be here in the first place," Captain Mbala said.

"I need to clean up and have my nose set," she said, still smiling. "Why don't you come to my cell for dinner later? Only you'll have to bring food because brig food is crap and this one," she jerked her thumb over her shoulder, pointing at James. "He's trying to hook me on Mexican and it's not working."

It was against regulations. It had to be, right? A stranger visiting her in her quarters? James would have to clear this with someone, and they would certainly tell him it was not allowed. But he was her guard right now and it was technically up to him to do with her as he pleased.

Captain Mbala reached out and sharply tugged on Shepard's nose. Something cracked gently and she exhaled in relief. Then they both looked at James.

"The young man seems to be unsure if it's allowed," Captain Mbala noticed.

"I'll make sure it's fine," James said. He would do anything for Shepard. Anything. She beamed at him and his heart broke. He truly couldn't say no to her and it didn't matter that she was in love with another man.

"See you later and don't you get lost on the way!" Shepard patted Captain Mbala on the chest and hurried towards the med wing. James had long ago lost the illusion that he had any control over her. She went wherever she wanted and did whatever she needed and he was left trailing after her, hoping not to get lost.

The doctor looked at her and sighed:

"Do I want to see the other guy?"

"Don't ask questions you don't want answers to," Shepard grinned. Her mood was off the charts after the fight and meeting the big black man and it was exhilarating just to watch her happy like this. She got bandaged, medigelled and released within twenty minutes. Her face, and probably her entire body, was swollen and blackened with bruises.

Back in her cell she washed the gore off her and sat on the couch impatiently, drumming her beaten fingers on the backrest. She really wanted to see the man, James realised. When the door finally chimed, she flew over the couch to open it. Captain Mbala stood there with two bags of food and she happily ushered him inside. The food was Italian, and there was a lot of it. To James' guilty satisfaction there was also beer in the bag. He already knew how Shepard would react to that. She didn't disappoint, even though her face didn't become quite as haunted this time as it did when he showed up with beer.

"Ooooh, damn it, I want it so much," she ran a finger over the bottle.

"So take it," the Captain said.

"Can't."

"Why not?"

"I died, Mbala. I'm suffering the mother of all PTSDs, and alcohol gives me nightmares I wouldn't wish on anyone."

Mbala looked at her in a way that sent an envious, nostalgic longing through James. It was a look of a brother who loved his sister from the bottom of his heart, who knew her deepest secrets and accepted every little quirk about her because essentially they were one. James wished that one day he'd have the right to look at her like that, if he was forbidden to look at her the way Joker did.

They fetched plates, spread around spaghetti and gnocchi and settled around the table. That was when Shepard finally turned her attention back to James.

"Vega, please meet Mbala Ngaatagawonga Ghawaadineye, apparently a Captain in the Alliance fleet."

"Captain of SSV Seoul," the dark-skinned man said proudly. "And Shep, you know I hate it when someone says my full name."

"Yes, I know, but Vega also deserves to know why you hate it," she pointed her fork at the guy. James dared a question:

"So, boot camp buddies?"

"Yeah," Shepard said with more than just a hint of pride. She beamed. "Mbala is my very first best friend."

Captain Mbala looked genuinely humbled by her declaration.

"So, Shep," he cleared his throat. "Is it true that you… have a boyfriend?"

James looked up sharply, wondering about the odd question. He wasn't asking about the batarians or the Reapers or Cerberus or the trials, but wanted to know about Joker?

"It's true. And yes, he has brittle bones, but no, it doesn't stop us from doing it like bunnies whenever we get a chance to."

James still wondered about the odd twist of the conversation, the familiarity between these two, when the Captain surprised him by asking him directly:

"Have you seen this lover of hers personally, Vega? Does he really exist?"

"Uhm. Yes, he does. Why?"

"Just can't believe it. Jo always had a reputation of an untouchable ice queen. I remember the very first day I met her, she planted some guy's face into a table for saying she was pretty. We were all convinced that a man who could capture her heart simply didn't exist."

"Funny you should say that," James remembered something. "That's exactly what Mr D said."

"Who?"

"That's above your pay grade, Captain," Shepard cut the conversation softly but firmly. "I wish Joker could be here to meet you, Mbala. I'd like you to see that I wasn't all that frigid, it just took me a while to find the right man. The only man."

"So what makes him so special and why can't I meet him?"

"He is one of a kind. The strongest, most beautiful, most amazing man in the world. I trust him with everything, he is an artist in that pilot seat, way smarter than me, way stronger than me, too. Never takes any bullshit from anyone, follows orders selectively and if you're not careful, he'll relieve you of your command," she chuckled at some story only she knew. "You won't notice him right away because he's very good at hiding in plain sight and you'll never see him coming, but when you see a guy and think: wow, what an obnoxious, insufferable asshole! – that's my man, and he couldn't be more perfect."

Captain Mbala watched her with obvious fascination.

"Quite a guy, isn't he?"

"I could talk about him forever," Shepard nodded. "Too bad he can't be here right now. He has limited visitation hours with me every week and well, it's Sunday. If you were here tomorrow, he'd surely be around."

"As much as I'd love to meet such an extraordinary specimen, I can't, sorry. Do you know what I had to do to get here even for one day? I went off course, had my ship damaged and requested dry dock here in Vancouver just on an off chance to find out something about you in the brig. Only when I got here, a whole circus show was on and I knew for a fact: my Shep will always be my Shep. I don't know if I'll ever see the day when I get to see you without your face being fifteen shades of purple."

"Yeah, well," Shepard looked a little like she blushed. She got even prettier, despite the bruises and swelling covering most of her face. "Tell me about yourself, and others. Have you kept in touch with them? How's Evan?"

"Uhm," Mbala grew serious. "Evan's dead. Three years ago. Killed in action."

"Fuck."

When James looked at them with respectful curiosity, the Captain opened his omnitool and showed him a picture of twenty teenagers in Alliance Marines recruit uniforms. Mbala was on it, thirteen years younger and already taller than the rest of the group. Shepard stood right next to him. On her other side was a tall and blond young man, both young men's arms around Shepard. They were all grinning. Shepard looked thin, battered, her hair was chin-long and swept back in a careless ponytail, but she seemed happy. James didn't have to ask who Evan was. The trio in the picture's centre spoke volumes.

"I was going to propose a toast, but since you're not drinking…"

"Fuck that," Shepard forcefully interrupted him. "Evan deserves a toast. If only you brought something other than beer, 'cause he deserves better than that, too."

"Who said I didn't?" The Captain fished a flask out of his pocket and held it out to her. She unscrewed the cap and raised the drink:

"To Evan Tolley, a great Marine, a better friend, a brother on the battlefield and off it. Rest in peace, babe, we'll always miss you."

She took a swig from the flask, swallowed and waited a moment to catch her breath. When she gave it back to Mbala, she nodded with appreciation:

"A man after my own heart. So. Who else?"

"Puente, Hadad and Cagas. All killed in action. Rest in peace," Mbala took a swig from the flask and handed it to James, to his surprise. With two solemn companions at the table James couldn't help but remember all of his own dead friends.

"To the fallen," he nodded and drank from the flask. The liquid hit him like boiling acid, burning his mouth, throat and all the way to his stomach before he could even gasp for help. There was only one kind of drink to knock a man down like that. "Ryncol?" He managed to whisper.

"The only drink that fits the occasion," Shepard nodded. For a few moments they were silent, honouring their dead friends.

James couldn't hold back his curiosity. When the dinner resumed, he simply had to ask:

"So, Captain, share some stories. What was Shepard like when she was eighteen?"

Captain Mbala flashed him a wide, white grin:

"I don't even know where to start. In all honesty, meeting her, getting to know her, was an extraordinary experience for all of us back then. From day one she was not like anyone else. First of all, she spoke gang slang when we met on the transporter to Macapá, we couldn't understand her and it took us all a while to realise that she didn't even know how normal people spoke."

"Gang slang?" James was intrigued. "Say something in gang slang, Shepard, please?"

She looked a little embarrassed, before putting her fork down.

"Donna wha't say. Proly asta do som 'th that've never read a book fore boot camp. Oh, y'now, grown up on streets. The fuck shoulda nown to speak righ? Now souns funny now cause'yh now I now't really speak, but back'n didn't an had't learn fro' scratch. Go on, laff, y'asshole, know y'wana!"

James really needed a moment to understand what she'd said, but Captain Mbala just reached out and patted her head affectionately:

"God, I missed that."

"Fascinating," James agreed. "Were you as intense back then as you are now, Commander?"

"Oh, she was just getting started," Captain Mbala nodded. "There are still legends ghosting around Macapá about the Red Squad and our illustrious leader, Jo Shepard."

"Red Squad? Wasn't the name of your gang Tenth Street Reds?" James grinned and Shepard groaned:

"I know! I didn't pick the name, we were designated Red when we entered the boot camp, what was I supposed to do?"

"I take it you became the squad leader?"

Captain chuckled:

"That's one of the stories about Jo. She didn't become squad leader right away. Evan was the first in line. Natural born leader, everyone said, until the first mock exercise. He panicked when we lost half of our squad, so Shep stepped in, put a motherly hand on Evan's shoulder and said: don't worry, I'll get you all out of this mess. And she did. Every single time until the day we left the camp."

"Sounds just like you, Commander."

Shepard only shrugged.

"I'm guessing you didn't tell the Lieutenant what you had to do to jump-start your career, did you?" Captain Mbala poked Shepard, who looked decidedly too embarrassed:

"I did what I had to do. I still don't know why everyone's making such a big deal out of it."

"Tell me," James didn't mind begging. This was too good to miss out on.

"See, Shep was pushing herself in all kinds of training like a madwoman. It wasn't helping the rest of us with our self-esteem that such a thin girl was stronger than me and Evan even back then. She had all our asses. I'm sure you know how it feels, losing to a little blond girl." He gestured at James' own bruises from sparring with Shepard. "She carried double load in running exercises, she jumped into the ocean not knowing how to swim and managed to arrive first on the shore. She learned all kinds of weapons, became our best sniper as well as our best in hand-to-hand, but the real story started on our career day. Representatives from many Alliance branches came to speak to us about career in the military, and Jo decided to get into the Officer Candidates School in Quantico."

"The best out there," James nodded. That school was out of his league, for sure.

"She was so catastrophically unprepared for it that the representative first thought she was fucking with him."

"Oh?" James suddenly felt stupid for thinking he wasn't good enough. Shepard made it against all odds, so he could have, too. Damn.

"Jo had no school records, and as you surely know, Quantico only accepts the best of the best. Just team leader isn't enough for them, they need more. So, Jo applied for a program that helped her get her grades. She spent over ten months training like crazy with us and then studying for weekly exams every free minute between training. Just watching her made us all uneasy. I've never seen anyone so driven to learn everything she possibly could. Math, history, art, literature, grammar, music theory, politics, geography, astronomy, biology, medicine, architecture, alien races and their history - you name it and she was learning about it. Just the basics at first, of course, but the drive and the thirst for knowledge were staggering."

"Well, it was either that or going back to gang speak, so there really wasn't an alternative," Shepard shrugged it off like it was no big deal, but James knew better. She was just uncomfortable being admired and praised.

"It wasn't just survival, Jo, and you know it. You joined the Marines and that was a different world for you already, but you went for much more than that. You didn't only learn how to fight and kill. You wanted to know about beauty and peace, about nature and science, you wanted to find on your own what nobody showed you before: the goodness in people. Tell me, am I wrong?"

Shepard said nothing, but James saw something he hadn't known was possible. Emotion in her face, so deep that her lower lip started quivering a little when she looked into her old friend's kind eyes.

"Tell me, Shep," Captain Mbala continued. "Didn't you spend those months reading on your bunk, soaking up lessons on history and art, devouring book after book about love and honour and sacrifice and friendship? Didn't you reinvent yourself in Macapá? Didn't you put your past behind you when you decided to trust me and Evan and Kate and Chen? We followed you into any kind of shit and we still would because there was always this incredible goodness in you, even when you threatened to disembowel each of us for slacking."

Commander Shepard was clearly trying to fight emotions and James saw it was hard for her.

"Sounds like you were a perfect candidate for Quantico, after all," he nodded, trying to ease the situation.

"If you think I was a perfect little recruit, you're terribly mistaken," Shepard regained control of her features. "I mouthed up to every single CO I ever had, in training and then in my career."

Captain Mbala laughed:

"Yeah, remember that officer on Mars? What was it that you told him?"

"Sarge, ain't no need to shout, nobody here is deaf," Shepard cracked a smile. "There was another CO in my first year out of Quantico. He gave us the orders and I said: Or we could forget this stupid plan and do something really smart instead."

James gaped at her:

"You said that to your CO?! Why? How? How did he react?"

"He was going to send a whole team into a certain ambush. They would have all died. It was not about taking or giving orders, it was about him not seeing a better way, so I gave him a better way and my plan saved lives of more than thirty people in the end. You bet I mouthed up to him. Spent a week scrubbing the kitchen with the recruits for that, but it was more than worth it."

James slowly swallowed. He came from a military family, it was in his blood. His uncle taught him a lot about how military worked before James ever joined. Soldiers signed up for the chance of dying and followed orders, no matter what. There were times for decisions, as he'd learned on Fehl Prime, but mostly the orders were there and they were clear. Going against them just to save some people from getting into an ambush... Admirable. Showed Shepard's absolute integrity. Showed him that he'd never been like that. He'd grown up with the knowledge that soldiers were meant to risk their lives. Grumbling about stupid orders, knowing his CO was wrong and actively risking his whole career to save a few soldiers were different things. He'd have to wrap his mind around Shepard's kind of integrity.

"I remember another good one," Shepard sported a shit eating grin. "My Supervising Officer in Quantico, Colonel Gromov, gave us a riddle once. He said he was married to another staff member and asked us to observe him for a while and guess who it was. He gave the same riddle to all previous courses and the whole school knew about his little game, so nobody would tell us. Apparently, no one had ever guessed right. So, when he asked us for our opinions, I said I didn't have to guess, I knew it was our General. When he asked what made me think that, I said it was obvious to a smart observer and that the only more obvious thing for the two men to do would be a naked making out session on the table in the mess hall during dinner."

James and Captain Mbala roared with laughter.

"Were you right with your guess?"

"It was no guess, I knew what I was talking about. Of course I was right. Those two men had been married since the discovery of the Mars archives."

"Shepard, were you always so adamantly convinced that you're smarter than everyone else?" James couldn't calm the laughter down.

"Well, yeah," she shrugged easily with another shit eating grin.

"And that you always know better what to do?"

"Pretty much."

"How come?"

"Experience shows. Or did you think I became a fucking N7 and a Spectre by following orders? Boy, there's a huge difference between what people think they want and what they truly need. I give them what they need, no matter how much they may want something else, but in the end they're grateful. Like that kid on Omega. I went there to collect Archangel for my team..."

"Wait, Archangel?" James stopped laughing. There was not a soul on Omega who hadn't heard about Archangel, his deeds and his death. The gigantic battle that had united three merc gangs was legendary! "You were there?"

"Yes, I was there. There was a kid who wanted to join the freelancers, so I broke his pistol and sent him home. After we saved Archangel and got him out of there, the gangs and all the freelancers were wiped out. That kid thanked me in an email afterwards, though he sure was pissed at me at the time."

James digested the story, but came back to Archangel.

"That crazy turian is still alive? He worked for you? You know him personally?"

Shepard's face softened into a slightly nostalgic smile:

"Yes, you can say that I know him personally."

For the rest of the evening Captain Mbala and Shepard sat on the couch, looking at pictures of the Captain's family. James could tell how moved she was at the sight of his three children. They had literally taken her breath away. While the two old friends were busy catching up on each other's lives and remembering their other boot camp buddies, James sat quietly on another couch, thinking about all that he'd learned about Shepard today. Her unnatural strength? That was the result of fierce training mixed with Cerberus' tech. Sometimes she needed to feel that strength again, to undergo the pain of a real challenge to feel alive. But those were acquired attributes. With enough training and for the right price anyone could get superhuman strength.

What couldn't be acquired was the integrity, the instinctive knowledge about what was right and wrong, the ability to read people and to understand their deepest desires and needs and the desire to protect by any means necessary.

He'd been presented with some deep insight into who Commander Shepard really was that evening and as he watched her, a sudden memory washed over him like hot shower.

After his mother had died almost twenty years ago, his father changed. The tragedy left him raw, wounded, broken and completely unfit to care for a child. His father never bothered to understand that he was not the only one who'd lost someone vitally important. James had been left to grieve and deal with the loss on his own. In those times, when he knew it was best to stay out of his father's way to avoid another drunken beating, James spent a lot of time in his room, watching cartoons. One of them, a cartoon mostly liked and watched by girls, was his one guilty, secret pleasure.

The heroine of that cartoon was a strong-willed girl named Peloar, who travelled across the galaxy helping her friends. Peloar and her alien friends were a tight-knit group that all viewers dreamed of belonging to. Lack of understanding and attention at home led James to live a whole fantasy life in his own head, filled with adventures and characters from his favourite series, but mostly it was Peloar, often called Lola by her buddies.

Her trademark and the cartoon's main theme was solving problems in clever, peaceful ways. Lola had a way of dealing with all kinds of people, had a big heart, was tough, fair and selfless. James would never admit it out loud, but back in those tender childhood days he had a crush on Lola. She got him through the worst times after his mother's death.

Lola looked and sounded nothing like Shepard did, but looking at Shepard now James knew he'd found the spirit of his favourite heroine he grew up with, wrapped up in a glorious, sexy package and given to him to protect.

In his teenage years James tried his best to put those painful years behind him. He could see what grief had done to his father. He wanted to forget the pain, and so he did. For many years now he hadn't thought about those times, or about Lola along with his boyish crush on her. But now he remembered. And finally owned his own feelings. He was hopelessly in love with Shepard.

She would never know. He couldn't imagine she would be cruel to him if she did find out, but he never wanted to put her in that position in the first place. She was happily in love with someone who made her ecstatically happy and James knew his place in this twisted situation. He would only be allowed to admire her from the sidelines. He was fine with that, more than fine, if only his Lola, his one, true and real Lola, allowed him to be a part of her little gang of friends. Belonging to a group of people like that would be a dream come true for James, no matter how she felt about him personally. He wanted to earn his place next to her, it couldn't be forced by Admiral Anderson's orders. Earning Lola's good opinion would be any man's ultimate test of courage, will, integrity and righteousness. Her good opinion was worth more than anyone else's because it was not easily gained.

James was very glad that Lola and Captain Mbala were too busy talking to pay any attention to him. He could take some time to bring his emotions under control while still sitting in her room and looking at her. How could he have forgotten his childhood heroine? How could he not have noticed who Shepard reminded him of and why? But none of that mattered now because his Lola was real and she was right there with him.

When Captain Mbala left late that evening, Shepard remained sitting on the couch for a long time, deep in thought. James remained with her.

"I'm glad you had a chance to catch up with an old friend, Shepard," he said eventually. "Looks like you needed that."

Shepard shook her head slowly:

"There is one thing you have to know about Mbala. He's much smarter than he would ever let on. He never does anything without a reason."

"What are you saying?" James frowned.

"He's not like you and me, who grew up in the middle of a big civilisation. He's from an actual African tribe that lives in huts and follows a shaman. You know, one of those that chose to preserve their ancient way of life?"

James nodded. All across the planet there were groups of people who felt overwhelmed by all the new technology and decided to go back to the roots. Hell, many of them left the planet to found new colonies somewhere far away just to escape the wild world of technological progress.

"He always believed in souls and spirits. He hadn't contacted me for thirteen years, but he showed up now to talk about the good old days. He must have used his Alliance contacts to learn about my trial and realised that I was losing my faith, so he came here to remind me of my soul, of my beliefs, to help me see all the reasons to keep on fighting. To keep believing."

"Did he succeed?" James could barely breathe. With all the mail she was getting from around the galaxy, with all the people showing up here, like Mr D, Captain Mbala, and Admiral Anderson and Joker being permanent fixtures in her life, James could see that she had some amazing people as friends. What wouldn't he do to have her call him a friend...

"Yes. I'm not saying I'm motivated now to stay here indefinitely, but he reminded me that I'm not here because someone did something to me against my will. I'm here first and foremost because I believe that organic life, synthetic life and all the other forms of life out there deserve a chance to live and prosper. We all have a right to make our own history and the Reapers have no business taking that freedom away from us."

James could swear she was shining from inside. Not with the orange glow of her scars, but with serenity and peace. He hoped the Reapers would never arrive, but he also kind of hoped to personally see Shepard put her beliefs to use.


AN: Reapers arrive in the next chapter! Thank you everyone for reading and reviewing, and most importantly for your loyalty.