The rest of the day flew by in preparations, debriefing the new crew, catching up with Ken, Gabby and Karin, trying to find her personal belongings that the retrofit crew had spread around the whole ship, explaining to Diana Allers that the only way she could come on board was if she actually wore something, because naked skanks didn't get to live long under Jo's command, and finally answering some of the mail. Jo only realised how late it was when her stomach started to growl. Not everything could be done in one day, so she left work be and finally went to Deck 3 to see if she could find dinner.
The mess hall greeted her with a congregation of tired but enthusiastic crew members. Vega had cooked something spicy and was now boasting of his skills to some young, impressionable female navigators. All was as it should be, only when Jo appeared, several people stole amused glances at her and started whispering.
"I get that most of these guys are new and I'm a walking legend," Jo said quietly to Vega when he brought her a plate with food. "But what's with the whispers?"
"Oh, might have something to do with a certain message Joker forwarded to the whole crew," Vega shrugged, feigning innocence.
"What message?"
He opened his omnitool and showed her:
Re: Reinstatement
From: Steven Hackett
Commander Shepard:
This letter formally acknowledges your reinstatement into the Alliance Navy per Admiral David Anderson's recent verbal communication. Under Emergency War Powers Reg. 903.5, you are hereby authorized to assume command of the Normandy SR-2. You are directed to begin interdiction operations against any and all enemies posing a threat to Earth, its colonies and its allies. Furthermore, you are granted diplomatic authority to establish treaties with non-human races as required to support your mission. Sincerely, Admiral Steven Hackett
Re: Re: Reinstatement
From: Johanna Shepard
Hackett, how many fucking times do I have to tell both you and Anderson that I'm out of the Alliance forever? Did you not get my resignation forms a year ago? Do I have to stop by and personally punch you in the face for you to finally get it? If this message doesn't do it, I'll contact every fucking news station in the galaxy and make a fucking public announcement. Furthermore, neither you nor anyone else will be giving me authorisation to command my own fucking ship, so you can forget any notion of the Normandy ever being in your power. I already had the Alliance logo painted over. And who the fuck do you think you are to give me directives and grant me 'diplomatic authority'? Since the entire Alliance Parliament and the Prime Minister Shastri have died on Arcturus you must have imagined yourself something of a leader of all humanity. Please, fucking remember that as a Spectre I had all the diplomatic authority I could have needed years ago and that you should not make yourself comfortable in the leader's seat. This may be a fucking war, but we are still a democracy and militaristic usurpers will not be tolerated. I will not spare fuel and munitions to hunt you down like a mangy dog if you entertain any more visions of grandeur. Shepard
PS: The day you're sincere with me will be the day the Reapers start dancing polka.
"Joker forwarded that to the entire crew," Jo bit her lip, trying to hide a grin. She'd been mighty pissed at the entire Alliance earlier when she read Hackett's message and her reply was composed accordingly. "That asshole," she affectionately cursed at her lover. Upset about losing his mother he may be, but he would never be too upset to miss an opportunity to be himself.
"Yeah, well, all these guys are incredibly impressed," Vega continued. "It explains why you chose most of them from the civilian sector and former Navy, and they're kinda glad to see the Alliance being taken down a notch. You may have earned some serious loyalty points with the crew, Shepard. Mentioning the Parliament and calling Admiral Hackett an usurper was a clever move."
"No one but Hackett was supposed to read it, so whatever clever thing you think I may have done - I didn't do it."
"Just enjoy the fruits of Joker's labour. And mine," he gestured at her plate.
Liara sat down across from Jo and pushed a datapad towards her.
"I brought all the personal items you left on my station before your incarceration back to your room, Shepard," the asari said. Jo sighed heavily as she dug into her food:
"Don't remind me of personal items right now. I found my hamster in the cargo bay, my ship models literally all over the ship, some of my clothes in the CIC, some in the poker room, for some reason, but not all of them. Can you imagine what the retrofit team was doing with my underwear for six month?" She banged her fist on the table. "I know I don't even want to think about that. And my bed! All the weapons from my personal stash are gone. I haven't checked the armoury yet, but I'm afraid my best weapons will also be gone. The unique ones! The ones I got in the toughest places through lots of blood and sweat. It's always like that when you let strangers into your home. Fucking hate it."
Vega suddenly coughed:
"Those weapons from your bed, well, ask Steve about them. And there is something I wanted to give you. I didn't steal it, just thought it would be safer with me. I carried it around for a while, and it was with me during the Reaper arrival. Didn't get to save many personal items, but the most important things were, thankfully, on me."
With that he dug into his pocket and pulled out a knife. Her knife.
Jo put her fork away and took the weapon. It was simple and efficient and she'd missed it for six months. She was convinced that an item like that would be re-appropriated right away. She was touched that Vega had kept it for her so thoughtfully.
"Thank you." Jo unsheathed it and let it fly across her fingers. That got the attention of many idle gawpers in the room. Such agility and speed tricks always did.
"That looks beautiful, Commander," Campbell gasped at another trick.
"Yeah, well, politics and hostage negotiations are things I learned, but this," she tossed the knife up, caught it while it was twirling like a circular saw and let it dance across her palm. "This is what I'm actually fucking good at."
After a little show she resumed eating and Liara just sat there, looking at her. When Jo gave her a questioning glance, the young asari nodded at the datapad she'd pushed over to Jo earlier. Jo asked Vega to give them a private moment and turned the device on.
She stopped chewing when she finished reading the first report.
"Is that...?" She blinked.
"Not quite. It's only been a few months. But in about five more weeks it will be, yes."
"Let me get this straight. Back in the day you gave me intel on two fuel production companies and I invested just under thirty thousand credits in them. Now you're telling me that those companies gave me a million credits of profit?!"
"Not quite a million, give it a few more weeks, as I said," Liara smiled.
"I'm a fucking millionaire," Jo exhaled, very impressed. Liara may be weird and spooky, but she was damn useful. "Can't wait to tell Joker," Jo felt warmth spreading through her body at the thought of sharing something with him. All good news were only ever half as good if he wasn't there to share them with her. "Thank you, Liara. You've done a fantastic job with our money." Jo had to give praise where it was due, and Liara blushed a little bit, not used to Jo's gratitude.
"What are you going to do with it?" She asked.
"I don't know yet. Frankly, I've never imagined anything would come out of that investment. Never in my wildest dreams did I think you'd make me a million in nine months." For a moment she allowed herself to indulge in a little fantasy about what she would get for all the people she loved. A golden life-size statue of Joker? He'd just love that. Along with his own private group of asari exotic dancers.
They set course for Palaven that same night and during that journey Joker stayed away from her. He wasn't avoiding her per se, but he always found something more important to do. Jo kept herself busy during the day, but she couldn't help but notice the gaping hole on his side of the bed when he didn't come to their bedroom for two nights in a row. Jo knew he had to get some shit out of his system, but she missed him so much that working was becoming increasingly difficult during the day. He was always on her mind. It was worse than even missing him in the brig - at least then she knew he wasn't staying away by choice. But she needed to give him some time and space, simply letting him know that he was always welcome back and she would always be there for him.
Eventually they jumped and landed in the middle of a war zone. Reapers and the turian fleet were engaged in a tough conflict and it didn't look good for the turians. The biggest fleet in the galaxy - and the Reapers were slaughtering them.
James and Liara were the only ground team members at her disposal for now and Jo hoped like hell that Vega was up to a challenge. Liara could never hold a punch and Jo preferred she didn't use her biotics at all, but that meant that Vega would have to pick up the slack. To his credit, he did a good job of it.
And then, while Jo was talking to General Corinthus about the succession order of the turian hierarchy, the whole world suddenly turned the right side up and became a much brighter place.
"I'm on it, Shepard. We'll find you the Primarch," he said, walking up the stairs, wearing a heavy armour set in his usual blue, carrying his favourite sniper rifle, his visor firmly in place.
"Garrus," Jo exhaled, suddenly feeling a tight knot in her throat. Seeing him drove home just how much she'd missed him. Six months away from her and he'd become even more magnificent than he'd ever been before, if that was even possible. Jo felt a shiver run down her spine and legs when General Corinthus saluted Garrus, acknowledging his superiority. Jo felt the awe and pride to her bone marrow: Garrus deserved to be acknowledged by the high and mighty of the turian hierarchy, he deserved recognition and respect. Jo had no idea what had happened to him since they'd last met, but it seemed that his greatness was finally being recognised and rewarded. It was about damn time, too.
What she really wanted to do was to run to her best friend, jump in his arms and hug him tightly, but she couldn't do that to him in front of his soldiers. She settled for a firm and warm handshake, all the while a huge grin was splitting her face.
"James," she said over her shoulder, never taking her eyes off her most favourite turian in the world. "Please meet Angel," she emphasised the last word, reminding him of the time they'd been listening to the radio together and she'd gotten a message from a friend. "The Archangel," she added to remind him of the legendary Omega hero, too. "My very best friend in the whole damn world. I could tell you to be in awe right now, but that's not necessary. By the end of today you'll be in awe by your own choice."
James saw a thing of beauty that day. At first he was a little torn between slight jealousy at Shepard's dreamy face when she saw the new turian, and incredulity, wondering what kind of a person could earn Commander Shepard's awe.
Then she happily sent Doc back to the Normandy to check out some tech trouble Joker reported, and it looked like she relaxed. The three of them went on a search for the new Primarch and at several points James realised he wasn't even needed. Lola and Scars worked in such perfect unity that often James watched them standing directly in each other's line of fire, taking out Brute after Brute gracefully, almost easily, never disturbing each other's rhythm, never getting in each other's way. It was a thing of beauty to watch. The tall scarred turian and the little blond girl danced across the battlefield to the music only they could hear, but it was one song for them both.
Lola had been right - when they finally returned to the ship that day, the new turian Primarch in tow, James couldn't help but be a little in awe with Vakarian. Grudgingly, of course, but he had to admit that the man was as good as Lola on the battlefield. But just when he was about to go and prod Vakarian for some stories about Shepard, fire alarms started blaring on Deck 3.
"Commander, EDI just went offline," Joker sounded worried over the intercom and Jo cursed. What was going on? First some trouble Liara went to check out, now power fluctuations, EDI going offline and even a fire alarm somewhere? How did the Alliance manage to make a perfectly functioning ship fall apart like this?
Jo went to the med bay and found Adams and Donnelly with fire extinguishers, ready to deal with whatever was happening inside the chamber where first Legion had been brought to and now the skinny-assed robot body from Mars had been dumped. Jo really could have used the time and energy to deal with more important stuff right now than fixing tech problems.
Except...
The smoke dissipated and the skinny-assed mech suddenly stood in front of Jo, speaking with EDI's voice.
"The fuck?" Jo almost hiccupped.
"When we brought this unit on board, I began a background process to search for its information on the Prothean device. This eventually triggered a trap. A backup power source and CPU activated and the unit attempted physical confrontation. Fortunately, I was able to gain root access and repurpose it as I saw fit. During this process it struggled. Thus the fire."
Jo felt a lump of cold ice drop in her guts. For a few moments she just stood there, gaping at the mech, wondering if EDI even realised what she was saying or not. Could she possibly really be so reckless and blind?!
Unfortunately EDI took Jo's silence as approval and waltzed her new body towards the exit, wiggling her metal ass as she went:
"I will take this body to the bridge. Joker will also want to see it."
"Oh, you did not just say that," Jo grabbed the pistol from her hip, turned around and shot the mech five times in the neck, effectively severing its head from the rest of the body.
There was silence once the shots quieted down. Adams and Donnelly stood stunned, watching in shock as the mech sent sparks flying around and crumpled on the floor. A dozen curious onlookers in the med bay froze in place, wondering if they were also about to be shot to death. EDI was silent for a few long moments, before speaking up in her normal way through the ship's intercom:
"Shepard?"
"Look at what you made me do, EDI," Jo put away her pistol and pointed at the mech's remains.
"Did I do something wrong to upset you?"
"You can bet your backup processor you did," Jo hissed through clenched teeth, stepped over the mech and walked out of the med bay. "Donnelly, see if you can put that thing back together again."
Fifteen minutes later Jo called the senior officers to the conference room for a debriefing. Joker, Garrus, Vega and Chakwas appeared without delay and Jo closed the doors for a private discussion.
"First of all, EDI, what the fuck were you thinking?" Jo addressed the ceiling. "Activating that mech without warning anyone about it?"
"I was more than capable of stopping the unit's resistance," EDI said. "Besides, it would be useful if I had control over it."
"Jesus, EDI, I really thought you had more common sense and experience than that. I can't believe I have to go back to lecturing you about the simplest basics of life." Jo shook her head.
"I don't understand," EDI sounded hurt.
"There is one truth everyone has to learn, and it's even more tangible for synthetics than for organics. There is always someone younger, faster, stronger, tougher and better than you out there. Jeez, even I don't go against a Reaper one on one! Cerberus made you, EDI, but you're an old model. This mech is next gen technology, created by the same people but with Reaper help. They had more resources for it, more experience, and they calculated for your interference. They put a trap in the thing and you triggered it."
"I had sufficient power to overcome resistance."
"You blacked out!" Jo yelled. She was not amused. "First of all, you used the mech I brought on board for your personal pleasure without asking me for permission. You stole from me, EDI."
"I..."
"Secondly, you put yourself, the crew and the whole ship in danger by activating a trap Cerberus has left for you. You exposed your and the ship's systems to the Reapers! That is not acceptable and I warned you once already about that kind of negligence. This is your second warning. If you endanger my ship, my mission and thus the survival of the whole fucking galaxy like that one more time, I'm done with you."
"But..."
"Thirdly, you changed the parameters of your existence without consulting anyone. You tried to get a human-shaped body to interact with the crew on a fundamentally different level than you ever used to before. That kind of change affects the daily operations and the crew dynamics, which is my direct responsibility. Basically, you employed yourself in a new capacity without asking anyone if that was fine." Jo shook her head. "You disregarded my authority as your commanding officer, you disrespected my opinion as the person who makes sure that the Normandy is a comfortable home to all my crew, you stole from me and you endangered the ship while I was off board and while Reapers were flying all around you. I've never been so disappointed in you, EDI."
Everyone in the room looked like they wished they could be somewhere else right now. Jo sighed and bent forward a little to place her palms flatly on the table surface.
"And finally, EDI: were you seriously going to parade a naked metal woman's body around the ship? You were specifically looking forward to showing it to Joker, were you not? The first part of that would classify you as a skank and you know better than anyone what happens to skanks on my ship. The second part... From woman to woman, EDI: keep your grabby hands off my man because if you don't, I will uninstall you."
There was a long pause before EDI said quietly and properly chided:
"I can't really be simply uninstalled, Commander."
"I'll find a way, trust me. Check my record for doing the impossible."
"I apologise, Commander..."
"Save your apologies. The techies will probably repair that mech soon, and this time you will formally request access to it, or so spirits help you."
"Understood, Commander."
Joker's heart was racing by the time Jo finished tearing EDI a new one and turned to easier matters. She reinstated Garrus as her XO and got Vega to create a holographic scene from the day of the Reapers' arrival on Earth, while they kept talking about some child and the rest of people present couldn't follow them at all.
For once Joker wasn't interested. He kept thinking about the last point Jo had made to EDI. They'd just been through six months of a harrowing trial that could strain any relationship and he hadn't been sleeping in the same room with her for two nights, but it didn't seem to matter to her. She still claimed him as her man with violent, uncompromising vehemence in front of everyone that mattered. She would have done it in front of a hundred news cameras, too, to get her point across.
To be claimed so fiercely by such a woman - could anything ever be hotter than that?
He'd worked through a lot of shit since getting together with Jo. Insecurities, weaknesses, old demons. This was something new entirely and it had nothing to do with demons. Watching her work with Vega gave him some time to observe her closer. She was his woman, whether in a professional setting or in private. She would claim him as hers in any situation. She would stand by him through anything. This incredible new feeling, he realised, this warmth spreading through him, it was the realisation that he was secure in his relationship.
And it was not something he'd ever expected himself to have.
When Jo and Vega finally established that she'd seen a child where he hadn't seen any children, Joker tuned the meaning of the conversation back in.
"I'm indoctrinated," Jo said and silence hung in the room for a moment.
"So what?" Garrus suddenly said. "An indoctrinated you is still a thousand times better suited to unite the galaxy and win this war than most other not indoctrinated people."
Jo looked at her best friend with wide eyes, clearly touched by his words.
"He's right, Commander," Chakwas nodded. "You have us to watch out for you. We'll notice if you suddenly change your fundamental beliefs and we'll make sure you realise that."
"And if that happens, between us we have the means to incapacitate you," Joker added and Vega nodded in agreement.
"Your instincts are strong enough to filter through the bullshit," the Lieutenant said. "You picked up on one fake element in a large scenery. You're sharp enough to see through many attempts to indoctrinate you. It'll be a long time before they succeed."
"I... Well," Jo lowered her gaze. A tiny blush coloured her cheeks - the sweetest, the most endearing reaction. Between them they also found a way to render Commander Shepard speechless. "Thank you for believing in me," she said eventually.
"You believe in all of us. The least we can do is repay the kindness." Garrus let his fondness for her seep into his two-layered voice. "You carried each of us through so much, let us carry you for once. Come to us whenever you have a feeling that something isn't right and together we'll work through it. Each of us will go the extra mile to help you, make your life easier, if you only let us."
Later that night - deep into the night, really - Joker came to a realisation he'd already had months ago. Once again he was punishing Jo for something that wasn't her fault, making her life unnecessarily harder, when he was supposed to support her. He left EDI and Cortez at the helm and finally went home. Back to the bedroom where his woman was sleeping alone, waiting for him to get over his bullshit.
When he entered the room, the lights were out. The empty fish tank illuminated most of the space, though, casting blue and purple shadows everywhere. Jo was in bed, lying on her back on her half, staring up at the covered up window in the ceiling. She couldn't sleep without him, that much hadn't changed.
She didn't acknowledge him until he got undressed and climbed under covers. Then she turned her back to him and wriggled a little. He knew what she wanted: the same thing she always demanded when they were settling down for the night. She wanted him to spoon against her from behind and put his arm around her shoulder. After a while she would end up flat on her stomach and he would shift on top of her, covering her like a blanket in his sleep. He found out a long time ago that even though she sometimes spent the whole night sleepless like this, she found the greatest comfort in this position, being pressed into the mattress by his weight.
He moved closer to spoon against his woman. He'd missed her during this self-inflicted separation more than he was ready to admit. Tonight, though, she seemed to have something different in mind than cuddling up to sleep. Her butt kept rubbing over his crotch and his body definitely took notice.
"Trying to tell me something?" He whispered against her neck, brushing away her hair.
"Screaming it at you," she whispered back.
"How about I make you scream for real?"
"Please," she breathed the word out with such need that he grew hard instantly. Joker slid his arms around her as Jo turned to face him, and it was magic, magic when her grey-brown eyes met his. He'd never known before he'd met her that it was possible to feel so much for another person. She was his entire world and nothing mattered more than being with her.
In Vancouver they'd had to be mindful of the cameras always watching them, but back in their own bedroom they could finally kick off the covers, be loud, exhibitionistic, vulgar - be and do everything that made their sex so damn hot and mind-blowing.
Compared to others, his woman wasn't really soft to the touch. It was to be expected in a life-long warrior with several levels of heavy muscle and skin weave. Joker didn't mind at all, when he ran his hands over her perfect, exposed breasts and sweet little nipples darkened from desire and his manhandling. Her body was one of the wonders of the galaxy, honed to perfection as a weapon, destroyed and brought back from the dead, housing one of the most fascinating minds in existence - Johanna Shepard's body was a true thing of beauty and he was the first worshiper at this goddess' altar.
And yet he felt like a mighty god himself when she brushed her long hair out of her face to look at him directly, love and wonder shining in her eyes. Her every touch, caress, moan and sigh showed him better than any words that he meant everything to her.
He was home now, no matter how fast the galaxy was falling apart, no matter that he'd just lost his mother. He was home and so was she.
