A/N: So I recieved request to continue with this story. So I am going to continue. Now, this is actually an interesting title to the story, though. I named it Without You. This story was initally inspired by HInder's Without You then I decided to make it more than just a one shot. And this is how I figured it up, Bella's side of the was inspired by Hinder's Without You but Edward's side was inspired by Rent's Without You. I hope that will help with some confusion the title brings. So this is Edward's side of what he saw that day in the parking lot and some of his feelings before that.
EDWARD
It had been nine months since I left my angel. I missed her more and more everyday. If I wasn't already dead, I say the effort to keep going forward without her was killing me. Nothing was helping to ease the pain even telling myself that she was safe from the danger of being around me and my family. That used to be enough but it wasn't anymore.
Which is why I decided to go back. I didn't plan on letting her know I was back. I was just going to watch her for a few days. Just to see if she was getting along any better than I was. That plan fell apart when I went to her house the night I got back to Forks. I was going to watch her sleep for a few hours and be gone before she woke up. The problem was what I heard and smelt as I approached the house.
I smelled the semi-familiar smell of werewolf. Though, I knew there'd always been a possibility that our prescence could effect that part of the tribes genentic makeup, it still caught me off guard. I didn't understand why the change took place when we weren't even around anymore. Or maybe it had started before we left. I didn't know.
I didn't spend too much time thinking about it. I had to figure out what one was doing at Bella's house in the middle of the night. I stretched out searching for his mind.
"I don't understand why Jake still thinks this is nessescary. We destroyed Victoria months ago. Then again, Bella being the danger magnet that she is, she's bound to attract more trouble. Hang on, what's that?"
I heard it sniffing.
"Bloodsucker. I better call the others."
Damn it! I'd never get into the house now. I had to get out of there before they found me. If they were protecting Bella, they would definately tell her I was here. I didn't want that, especially if she's doing better without me. I took off towards our old house that's been empty for almost a year. I knew they'd be able to follow my trail. They wouldn't be able to touch me though. I didn't do anything wrong.
When I arrived at the house, about five minutes later, every light was on. Alice was sitting on the porch staring at me. She looked terrified. I stepped out of the trees and she bounded towrds me throwing her arms around me.
"I was so worried." she thought. "I saw your decision to come back and wasn't going to interfere until I saw it play out. Then your future disappeared as you were heading to Bella's. I was worried and told the family. We came back here immediately. Carlisle was going to give you an hour then we were going to come looking for you. What happened?" she said pulling away from me.
"Calm down, Alice." I said. "I'm fine. I didn't get to see Bella, though. Let's go inside. I need to talk to everyone."
She nodded and we went into the house. Everything was just the way we left it. Funiture and all. The family was scattered around the living. Carlisle was pacing nervously. Esme was staring out the window just waiting for me. Emmett was trying to think of ways to lighten the mood but Rosalie kept chiding him for it. And Jasper was trying to stop the worry from getting out of hand.
Everyone looked up when Alice and I walked in. Esme engulfed me in a hug. I began hearing mental chidings from everyone.
"We were so worried!"
"You could've told someone you were going."
"You should've brought someone with you."
"Stop guys!" I said. "I have something of more importance to tell you. I was trying to get to Bella's house but there was a werewolf circling it."
"A werewolf. Are you sure?" Carlsile asked. "I haven't seen that gene come out in a century. And it must have happened while we were gone. Why then? There was no threat after we left."
"There was Victoria. But according to the thoughts I read, they got rid of her months ago." I said. "I owe them a thank you."
"I think we all do." Carlisle said. "We love Bella and want her to be safe just as much as you do."
I smiled at him.
"We do have a small problem though." I said. "The one at Bella's caught my scent and he called for the others. I wasn't able to get in to see Bella and I think they've followed my scent.
"Why did they come back?" I heard an unfamiliar mental voice.
"I don't know." Another voice came through.
I turned to look out the window. I saw four large wolves standing, hidden in the trees. Or rather they would've been hidden from human eyes. I growled.
"What?" Jasper asked.
"There's four of them outside." I answered.
"Should we go out there?" Esme asked.
"No." Carlisle answered. "Let's just leave it for now. Once we decide whether or not we're staying, then we'll deal with them."
"Can't we go in there and rip them to pieces?" The first wolf voice asked.
"No, they haven't done anything wrong." The second, who I assumed was the leader, answered. "We won't dishonor the treaty. We'll just have to see how things play out."
"Fine but if he shows up at the school, I can't be held responsible for my actions." The first responded.
"If he does go, you need to keep it under control for Bella." The second stated. "Do you really think she'd like it if you went after him?"
"I suppose not."
"Let's go. I want to get the others ready for later. They aren't going to happy that they have to miss Bella's big day."
"She won't be very happy about it either. Should we tell her?"
"That's your call."
Confused by their exchange about Bella, I let the rest of there conversation fade out until the were out of range. Why did they care so much about Bella's safety? And why did the first care about what Bella would think if he attacked me? I had been gone for way too long. I was so confused by everything. And what did they mean Bella's big day?
"Alice, what's tomorrow at the school?" I asked.
By now the family had drifted to the dinind room. We had to decide if we were staying or not. They could decide what they wanted. I already knew my decision was hinged on Bella. If she no longer wanted me then I wasn't going to complicate her life by staying. I know, though, that it was a mistake to make the family pick up and leave the first time. I wasn't going to do that again.
"Wow," she said. "You really haven't be paying attention to the dates. Tomorrow's graduation."
I nodded. I was going to go to the school, regardless of how the mutts felt about it. I needed to see Bella, to know how she was doing. I needed answer to what was going on with her. Mostly though, I needed to know if she still wanted me. Or if she's moved on.
I looked at Carlisle as he began the family meeting.
"Whatever you decide, we'll support you." he thought.
I smiled at him and drifted to my room. I did my best to block out their discussion. It didn't work. I caught every word of it, including their final decision to stay. I laid on my couch and thought about what I was going to find tomorrow. I wasn't even positive what I wanted to find.
A few hours later, I got up and put on a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. I wasn't planning on going in for the ceremony. I wouldn't catch her off guard like that. I just wait in the parking lot for her to come out. I hoped she wouldn't object to talking to me. I needed to know if she still felt the same about me or not.
I sitll couldn't decide what I wanted. I know what was best for her but at the same time I knew what I wanted. I wanted to wrap her in my arms and keep her safe from the rest of the world. I also knew how hard that would be considering I was probably the most dangerous person for her to be with.
The rest of the family was in the living room watching T.V. They didn't say anything as I walked out the door. I, however heard all of their thoughts of worry over me. They were all thinking the same thing. What if it was too late? I thought about that question all night. I decided that I could live with it as long as she was alive and happy. My world would be perfect if she still wanted me.
I jumped into my volvo and was at Forks High School within minutes. The parking lot was full of cars and excited graduates and families. I sighed. This was something I had wanted to do with Bella. It was one of the few human experiences that I could fully share with her. Even if it was one I experienced many times.
I watched as the families went inside. I kept my eye out for Bella. Maybe I could get a look at her before she went inside. As the people cleared out of the parking lot, a car and a truck pulled in and parked about ten cars away from me. A boy, I recognized him as Jacob Black stepped out of the car. He then pulled a wheelchair out of the trunk of his car. He wheeled it to the passenger side and helped his father, Billy out. Out of the truck came another boy. He looked like he was a member of the tribe as well. He walked around and helped a beautiful girl get out.
I watched as they walked in. The stench the boys they left, told me the were part of the pack I starting seeing around yesterday. They were all mentally worrying about whether or not I was going to make an appearance. I recognized their mental voices as the ones I was listening to last night. Jacob was the one who was afraid of the impact our return would have on Bella. The other was the one who didn't want Jacob to come after me, afraid of how that would impact Bella.
I was still confused as to why they were so concerned about Bella. Wasn't it there job to protect their tribe from us. Why were they going out of there way to protect a girl that wasn't part of the tribe? She had to have become very close to one or all of them. It wouldn't have surprised me. I mean, she and Jacob have known each other since they were in diapers. She probably chose him to lean on after I was gone. I would definately have to thank him.
A couple hours later, when people started step filing out, I got out of the car. It would give her a better chance of seeing me. I watched as Chief Swan and Billy Black exited the building. I wondered breifly why Chief Swan was leaving without Bella. I focused on their thoughts for a moment. They had planned a party for Bella in La Push and they had to finish stepping up. Jacob and the other boy and girl were waiting for Bella. I watched as the cruiser pulled out then I waited while other families were coming out.
Finally, Bella and Jacob came out. If my heart was still beating, it would've skipped a beat when I saw them. I knew they had possibly gotten close but I was thinking in a brother/sister type way. It was an utter shock to see him with his arm around her and hers around his waist. It suddenly all made sense.
The pack going out of its way to protect her. Jacob's overprotective attitude towards Bella's reaction to my return. They weren't just close. She was dating him. And possibly in love with him. I wasn't sure how I felt as I watch them talk. I was too busy with my own thoughts to hear what they were saying or thinking.
On the one hand, I happy to see her happy again. I was also relieved to find that she wasn't completely destroyed by what I had done to her. Those were the good emotions. The were fighting with my sadness, pain, rage, and jealousy. If she had to move on why did it have to be with my mortal enemy. I knew no there was no way I would ever get the chance to speak to her again. Ever.
It took me a second to realize that the girl the other boy was with was pointing at me. I had less the a second to prepare before Bella's chocolate brown eyes followed the pointing finger and met mine. I was trying to portray some kind of calm at peace exterior but I knew Bella could see right through it. I knew all the different emotions were playing on my face all at the same time.
There was nothing but happiness and a sense of peace in her eyes and on her face. I think I saw just a little shock there as well.
As she stared at me I noticed her arms tighten around his waist. I suddenly knew how much my telling her I didn't love her anymore had hurt her. It felt like someone ripped out my dead heart a threw it across the lot. The feelings of happiness and relief were gone. I only felt the pain of losing her again. Why did I even have any hope of ever getting her back? What was worse? I had lost her to my mortal enemy.
We continued staring at eachother until I noticed Jacob was trembling. Shit! I could read how angry he was that I was here. I knew it was a good idea for me to leave. I didn't want him phase anywhere near Bella. Especially if his the other boy phased as well. I didn't know how well they could control themselves in wolf forms.
Juging by the scar on the girl's face, I didn't think it was very well. I knew I abosolutely had to get out of there when Bella turned and began kissing Jacob's neck. It was no doubt in an effort to calm him down. If I could vomit. I probably would've. I just needed to get out of there before I did or said something. I got back in the car and whipped out of the lot as quickly as possible.
I wanted this for her but I couldn't handle seeing her with anybody but me. I just had to go home and tell my family what happened. I knew they'd understand my need to leave. I was home within minutes.
When I got into the house, I slammed the door so hard, the glass shattered into little pieces.
"Damn it!" I yelled.
"Edward, you're back." Alice said as she walked into the living room.
She had a smile on her face. It faded when she saw the glass on the floor. Then she looked at my face.
"It didn't go very well, did it?" she thought. I shook my head.
"She's moved on and is happy." I explained. "It's exactly what I wanted her to do but it hurts to see her with someone else."
Alice wrapped her arms around me.
"I know. I'm sorry."
I smiled. I loved Alice. Her and I had fought the most about us leaving of the last nine months. She told me repeatedly that I was going to regret it when I came back. Now that I was, though, she had no thoughts of I told you so. It was only sincere sympathy. That was all I wanted right now. I've never felt so hurt in the entire century that I've been alive. I just needed someone to tell me it would be okay. I knew it wouldn't but it was nice to hear it said.
"So what happened?" Alice asked.
"I went and sat in my car until the ceremony was over. I was going to try to catch her on the way out. Until she came out with Jacob Black. She had a smile on her face and her arms wrapped around him. She didn't look at all effected by seeing me. She held tightened her grasped on him and stared at me like we didn't mean anything to each other." I explained.
"It probably wasn't like that for her. I'm sure she felt something. You can't just completely forget what the two of you had. I'm sure she was feeling more than she was letting on. She just didn't want to hurt Jacob." Alice replied.
"Maybe." I said. "I know you guys are staying but I don't think I can. I can't stand to see her with someone else. Especially with a dog."
"Edward, you know what happened the last two times you tried to leave. You end up feeling sorry for yourself and coming back anyway. You should stay, try to make sense of this. Nothing good ever came of running away from your problems. She's found her peace with the relationship. I think the only way you're going to find yours is to stay." Alice said.
"I don't know."
"Please Edward. You don't know how much this family misses you." she begged. "Besides, if you stay, you might be able to win her back."
"You think so?" I asked not letting myself get my hopes up.
"Sure but you can't fight if you run."
"Thanks. I think I'm going to go for a run and think about it." I said. It wasn't until then that I realized how quiet it was. I couldn't even hear any ones thoughts. "Where's everyone?"
"Emmett, Rosalie, and Esme went for a quick hunt. Carlisle and Jasper went to find one of the wolves. Carlisle thinks since we're staying, it might be a nice gesture to call a meeting. You know, going over the finer points of the treaty. He knows the wolves will ask eventually. He thinks will get points if we ask first.
I nodded.
"I'll work on fixing the door before Esme gets back." she said warmly. "You just figure out what you're going to do."
"Thanks, Alice." I said and headed out the door.
I ran for hours thinking about what Alice said. Eventually, I decided that she was right. Running wasn't going to get me over this. It was just going to make me feel worse.
I already felt like I was dying. Not knowing what was going with her. At least if I stayed in Forks, I could make sure that he was treating her right. I knew I had to stay. I had to make sure she was being taken care of. I was going to watch the mutt's every move, if he did anything to hurt her, physically or emotionally, I would rip his head off with my bare hands.
I wasn't going anywhere.
A/N: I hope you liked this chapter. It was hard for me to get through it. I was having trouble writing out how Edward felt. Reveiw please.
